It’s time for Watch Who Lies Live. I was not up for another half an hour the criminal last night, but I finally got a good amount of sleep after once again staying up until dawn, and I’m having so coffee and ready to do this. Theresa has a very different face on sitting second chair with Andy. I’m not sure how to explain it and Andy has stopped posting selfies before the show so I’ll pause and see if I can find one for you now. The photos always look so different from the TV. Teresa’s foot soldiers, Robyn and Christina, the bartenders. They look much different from their housewives looks on TV as well.
Mindy loved the episode. So did Andy. Andy shares his favorite scenes with Mindy. He enjoyed Joe talking about his erection and Dolores talking about how Melissa and Teresa just put on their drag and showed up like nothing happened the next morning. Teresa doesn’t seem super happy with anything. Andy brings up that a lot of former housewives were tweeting. Teresa says, “Yeah, they all came out tonight.” One of them called Teresa “a living nightmare owned and operated” by Andy. Teresa just pretends that she likes the comment.
Andy is going through a bunch of scenes quickly asking what Mindy and Teresa think. Right away Teresa basically says that Jacqueline was a stripper. This was a rumor going around with Teresa and Jac were on the same team that Teresa denied but now she’s down with the story.
Andy asks if Siggy was making things all about her. Teresa said she thought it as “cute.” Mindy says she thought it was “a lot.” Teresa said she never someone cry so much.
What about when Jac called you a narcissistic psychopath? Teresa has no idea what that means so she responds, “I mean think of another word?” I think the actual c word or the new c word for Jersey both fit as synonyms here.
What about Melissa having four nose jobs. Teresa says Jac broke “the girl code” with that comment. Then Teresa said she didn’t have four nose jobs. Andy wants to know how she broke the girl code, she says that is what Melissa told her. She has no idea what that means either. Did Teresa get dumber in prison? Teresa says, “Get it? I mean you are not supposed to spill the beans on your girlfriend.” Basically, Teresa confirms a million times that Melissa had four nose jobs. While saying that Jac should never have mentioned that information.
A viewer asks why Teresa never forgives anyone but pretends that nothing she did actually happened. Do you think this is one-sided? Teresa has her stank face on. She says “No, not at all.” Teresa is literally to dumb to be interviewed.
Teresa says that more to the story will come out in the reunion that tapes this weekend. She seems to say that before Teresa the felon was released from prison, Jac tried to pull Melissa to her side and it backfired.
Andy says to Robyn and Christina, “I promise I’m not going to ask you to leave this trip early. How did you feel about leaving Vermont?” She says she wanted to go so Teresa could have a good time. Andy asks, “Are you one of Teresa’s soldiers?” Robyn says Teresa doesn’t need backup. That was answered like a great soldier.
Next week on RHONJY we get Kim D and a Posche Fashion Show. Kim D. asks Jac and Dolores if Teresa knows about Joe’s cheating while she was in prison and is just being delusional. I don’t know that Teresa has to put a lot of effort into being delusional. There aren’t a lot of synapses firing behind that tiny, hairy forehead.
This was the first time Teresa saw the clip. She says that Kim D. wanted to meet with her to talk this week. Now she knows why.
Andy starts asking Mindy about the wardrobe for her show and Mindy is just like, “Wait? What? We aren’t going to mention the infidelity situation here at all? Before we talk about my clothes, should we address this?” Best WWHL guest ever. Or not. Because as it turns out all she wanted to say was that Kim D. wasn’t being nice. NO MINDY, what we needed was for you to ask Teresa about it since Andy clearly will not!
Someone asks why Teresa calls ‘criminal’ the C word? Teresa says.. ” I just don’t like… I don’t consider myself that…and so that’s why I don’t even want to say that word.”
Joe has lost thirty pounds in prison and is watching RHONJ every week.
Mindy a Andy have been bantering about Andy investing in her clothing line. Mindy says he doesn’t seem like he wants to do it. Teresa volunteers to take some money out of her mattress and invest in Mindy’s clothing line. Because Teresa is rich. But not a criminal. I can’t with this fool.
The play Bravowood Squares. Teresa doesn’t know how to play tic-tac-toe so Andy has to tell her which to squares to choose from on her second turn. I love this game, but you have to play it with guests that are smart enough to play tic tac toe and who have watched a moderate amount of housewives shows. Those two populations have a very narrow overlap on the Venn Diagram.
Kim D tweets that Teresa called her not the other way around. Teresa doesn’t even admit she just lied she says she called to tell Kim D that she was right about Melissa’s store manager and she did fire him. Actually, that just happened last week.
Andy’s mom texted in to ask what Teresa has done to her face, did she have any work done. Teresa says no, but thanks. Teresa’s face doesn’t look like she has had work done to me, she just looks worn out and her eyes don’t open.
Poll question: Did Melissa have four nose jobs? Yes! 73%. Um, Teresa spent the entire episode confirming it, and then at the end said, ” Of course not, FOUR nose jobs?” Oh Teresa. You are in for a long road ahead. I predict that new “attorney” of yours is going to bleed you dry. And that’s just one of your problems.