This is the RHONJ episode is where things all go insane in Vermont. This is when the incident where Robyn and Christina lose their housewife position. I think it was technically Robyn’s housewife slot at the time. Things with Robyn get so “violent,” at least it was reported that way, that the lesbian couple that Bravo was so excited about was summarily dumped from the show and erased from nearly every scene. And they had filmed a lot. This is the official wording of the episode listing, “The group is divided on the second day in Vermont. Jacqueline is consoled in the wake of her dustup with Robyn. Then, Jacqueline loses her cool with Teresa and Melissa, And Dolores and Siggy at last reach their breaking point. ” Which makes it sound like they are not going to show us anything close to what happened.
Wasn’t last week the episode where I could not make heads or tails of what happened? I’ve got some bad news for you then, I am less mentally clear tonight than I was last week. I’m starting to wonder if I will ever be clear-headed again. But here we go. It’s the end of a long day where it seems most people went skiing and Joe hurt his back in a fall. Everyone is exhausted. Dolores has her talk with Melissa about Robyn. I think a lot of things have been cut out already because it’s the end of the day after the night that Jac and Robyn had what we saw as a minor dustup. Dolores says that because Teresa is on probation, they don’t need any physical fights and Robyn is threatening to beat up Jacqueline. Melissa does a talking head that was clearly taped much later in the season after things get much worse where she claims that Jac is obsessed with being Teresa’s bestie and has basically been stalkerish. To me this makes Melissa look like some high school girl who is competing with some other girl for the BFF slot next to the head cheerleader. All of the women on this show are so childish.
Siggy and Dolores talk to Jac who is crying. She is crying because Teresa is choosing to be better friends with people who just want something (to be on the show) from her instead of her true friends (and family.) And because she started her period.
We have dueling camps discussing who should leave. Melissa and Teresa tell Robyn and Christina that Jac needs to leave. Siggy and Dolores tell Jac she is not leaving because Robyn is the problem and she needs to leave. Robyn wants to leave to diffuse all the stress. Teresa is pissed that Robyn is leaving. Now Teresa wants to leave. She doesn’t even want to film anymore. I strongly believe that production at this point has already removed Robyn from the house and she is coming back in to tell Teresa and Melissa goodbye. If there was a violent argument that left Jac in fear for her life, we didn’t see it. However both camps seem to be alluding to things that happened that we are not being shown.
Teresa and Melissa are headed to dinner and they are furious with Jacqueline, who if I remember the story correctly insisted that production make Robyn leave. Teresa is so furious she does not want to film the dinner scene, but production would not miss this for the world.
Right away at dinner, Teresa blames Jac for Robyn having to leave. Jac denies that she had anything to do with it. She retells the rage on my ass story. Everyone is exhausted and hangry. Teresa points out that Robyn didn’t do anything to her but Jac got up and sat on Robyn and continued to try to provoke her. Despite Teresa not even being out there, she is right about that part. Jac says she offered to leave if that is what Teresa would have preferred. Siggy and Dolores say they would not have been okay with that. Jac is devastated that Teresa is coming for her hard and taking Robyn’s side. She tries to do a dramatic walkout, but the first one is aborted because Chris really wanted to get through dinner service before the heels started getting thrown and he did not get up from the table so she sat back down. Chris tells Teresa she has known Jac a lot longer than she has known Robyn, who apparently she just met when she was cast, and that she needs to give Jac the benefit of the doubt and support her friend over the new person.
Sidenote: Teresa asks for her tap water to be removed so she can get bottled water. IN VERMONT.
Back to the arguing. Teresa who was not there, continues to take Robyn’s side while Siggy and Dolores, who were there are taking Jac’s side. Teresa says something to Jac about being crazy and aggressive and Jac says “You’re the table flipping bitch!” Teresa says she is not flipping a table now. Actually, while I feel that it’s wrong for Teresa to side with the new girl over Jac, Teresa is being very calm and Jac is being a bit um, PMSy. Jacqueline in her confessional talks about all the bat shit crazy violent things that Tre has done since they’ve been friends and we get a montage. She’s right. Her twerking on Robyn is not even in the same stratosphere.
Then we have another round arguing about Teresa’s solider’s that do her dirty work. Sadly we get stuck on Johnny the Greek and Penny. Johnny has passed away about three months after this was filmed. However, didn’t Jacqueline attack him with a stiletto in THE GREAT STILETTGATE of 2013?
Now we are bringing up things from 2011. And by we I mean Jac. It all has to do with StripperGate. Melissa is being fake as fuck and Jac is calling her out on it. Jac is calling Kim D on the phone to stick up for her. Jac is going nutso. She starts screaming about Melissa’s four nose jobs. Now Teresa and Melissa are pretending like they didn’t hate each other for all those seasons they hated each other. Teresa says to Jac that they way she is acting right now she is “feeling threatened right now.” This is supposedly what Jac said to production about Robyn. This sends Jac even further around the bend. Jac stands up and says, “I’m so sorry that you feel threatened right now, you poor fucking criminal!” And then, Jac and Teresa turn into Marlo and Sheree in Africa where they are arguing at the bottom of the steps and suddenly have dueling psychotic breaks and start speaking in tongues that no church members are around to translate.
I really need a halftime break here or something. This is ridiculous. Jac storms out. This time Chris goes with her and Dolores checks on her. Melissa is trying to make this about her. Dolores and Siggy stick up for Jacqueline. Joe and Teresa come down hard on Siggy because Siggy won’t shut the fuck up. Then they move on to talking about how horrible it was for Jac to call Teresa a criminal. Siggy is crying and having a meltdown and Teresa is yelling at her to suck it up.
When Siggy and Dolores get back to their chalet, Jac is fine and says she needs to get the toxic people out of her life and that includes Teresa and Joe and Melissa. Siggy wants to leave as soon as possible. Joe Gorga was already taking a flight home the next day. Jac and Chris are packed and ready to go.
The next morning, Siggy and Dolores tell Teresa and Melissa they cannot stand to be there for another minute. Melissa and Teresa are loud and obnoxious to the point where Dolores screams at them and Siggy cries. They do not want to be around them anymore.
Jac and Chris have Kathy over to find out what happened on the trip. Sidenote: I really wish I had some of that salami that Chris is putting out.
Teresa and Melissa take a gondola ride up to the restaurant on top of the mountain. Teresa cries because Joe is leaving in two weeks. This episode was exhausting as fuck. It ended with a scene of Melissa happily taking selfies with Teresa, secure in her new position as Teresa’s top foot soldier. Which is exactly what this entire episode was all about.