By CJ Bomb
Welcome to week three of Project Runway! There will be laughter, (some of it beyond annoying) there will be shade (from guess who) and there will be many, many, MANY tears. So let’s get started…
Erin is feeling very good about herself. Perhaps a wee bit too good. Erin actually says out loud she would be questioning why she was in this competition if she was in the bottom three. Sarah agrees, basking in Erin’s talented glow until Kimber who is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO THEM says well I was IN the bottom three bitch, and I’m not questioning anything. I added the bitch to that statement because I thought it was appropriate. Sarah is mortified and tries to backtrack. Erin is beginning to remind me of Tracy Flick from the movie Election. I would also very much like to flick her in the ear every time she says stupid shit like this.
The designers are sitting on the runway and the lights dim. Heidi comes out literally glowing. Someone in production took some ecstasy and came up with the idea to have a black light challenge. Taking the everyday woman from day to night! Or we are running out of ideas. Well at least it’s going to be fun. The designers seem psyched. Rik fondly remembers his raving days. Me too Rik, me too. Of course if I took anything remotely hallucinogenic today I would wind up in a closet rocking back and forth as I freaked about my mortgage and future college tuitions for my kids.
Transitions Opticals is sponsoring the challenge and the winning look will be featured with their shades in a spread in Marie Claire. Ah, now I get it where this idea is coming from. Tim is shown sporting the shades and I have to say he looks classy even while whoring himself for product placement. I love you Tim, and I’m not on anything but a glass of wine at the moment. There are blacklight flashlights provided, a blacklight room and lots of day-glo supplies ready for the designers to use for their looks.
Everyone seems to be getting on fairly well and they collectively wish Mah-Jing a happy Father’s Day. He goes to call his fiancee and his adorable little girl and promptly bursts into the most serious cry we have seen since Michael Costello lost his shit on the runway in season 8. But seriously, it was sweet. He is now more determined than ever to win.
Erin. Erin is doing a dress that will be sweet in the daylight and full blown sex bomb when the black light hits it. She has bought a gauzy baby blue fabric on which she is creating a textile that will pick up not only the light, but the pasties underneath the top. Tim is intrigued. Even though he’s “not a nipple guy”. He is down with the sometimes sweet, sometimes slutty thing she has going. Cornelius is not impressed.
Cornelius. Speaking of Mean Boy, he has a simple white dress on which he has blocked off geometric shapes that he plans to spray paint with dayglo translucent paint. Tim wants to know how it’s going to actually look under the blacklight and Cornelius admits he doesn’t know. Cornelius reconsiders his look and decides to paint emojis instead of plain shapes for a more dramatic effect.
Kimber. Kimber has busy print paired with white on a boring dress. Tim hates it and says it’s ugly. She needs to get rid of the white. This makes Kimber nervous as she doesn’t do prints, but ok. She creates a boring asymmetrical dress and begins painting over the print to give it more depth. I’m worried about Kimber.
Sarah. Sarah has made a nun rave outfit. Tim says it’s ready to wear not runway.
Alex. Alex who harbors a secret desire to be Tim (never happening Alex) has made a eighties body con dress in blue and pink. Tim says wow, but it comes out more like “Meh.”
Dexter. Dexter is wearing a shirt with his name on it. As if anyone had any doubt who he is. (I love me some Dex) Dexter has made a white banded outfit with a huge amount of fringe. Dexter says, “Who doesn’t love fringe?” Well I don’t, but I’m probably in the minority given the amount of it I see season after season. His description of it being Stevie Nicks and the White Witch from Narnia piques my interest. After all- who doesn’t love Stevie Nicks? Tim thinks he’s not taken it far enough.
Rik. Tim loves the top and tells him he needs to come with something just as awesome for the bottom. Rik does unfortunately does not heed this advice. Tuxedo pants with a dayglo band would have toned this down, but he is making a skirt version of the top. It’s too much.
Jenni. Tim hates it. Calls part of it “Granny”. Jenni starts frantically going through all the fabric she has. She gets through three more looks until she settles on a see through jacket with dayglo painting. The painting is very pretty. I’m not one for the romper underneath, but I’m too old for both molly AND rompers.
Nathalia. Nat is making a dayglo pink and blue coat dress with neon yellow leg warmers or leggings. In my mind it’s going to look like what I wore to go see the movie Valley Girl in 1983. Tim thinks it’s costumey so she ditches the leg warmers for shorts and the 12 year old deep inside me sulks.
Laurence. Laurence is working on some sort of tuxedo jacket and booty shorts.
Brik. Brik wants to create something sculptural. Tim tells him just to stay safe.
Roberi. Tim LOVES Roberi’s sculpted dress with raw threads. He calls it stunning. He sees in the actual blacklight and freaks out.
Tasha. Tim says she needs to make her look pop.
Mah-Jing. MJ is in trouble. He had envisioned doing a cool wedding dress for his fiancee but it is awful and Tim tells him to start over. He does, but makes a mistake with the paint and now is just trying to fling everything at this ill-fitting dress to get by. I’m worried about MJ. I see many tears in the future.
Jaime King is the guest judge which makes me much happier than the last two we had. She knows and is in the industry and will do a good job. Everyone is treated to Jenni’s laugh and the judges are trying to figure out what to make of it. Nina’s reaction is awesome.
Cornelius: As much as I hate to admit it, this was a very cool look. The difference between the day/night was extreme in a good way. Jenni: Love the jacket, hate the romper. Alex: He is underwhelmed and so am I. MJ: Oh Jeez- this is a hot mess. Nathalia: A mesh top with neoprene shorts? The 12 year old in me rolls her eyes. Roberi: I LOVE this. It is a beautiful dress. It completely transforms in the light. I love the raw edges. I want this to win. Kimber: This is very boring. Nina looks like she swallowed a bug. Sarah: Nun. Rik: Wow. This is um, something Porsha would love. Laurence: Laurence is lucky she has immunity. Tasha: This dress isn’t very exciting on the dayglo front. Erin: Beautiful. Damn her smug ass. Brik: Brik is utterly defeated. He made a boring shift dress. Dexter: as much as I hate fringe, this looks cool in the light. Stevie Nicks would approve.
My Top 3: Roberi, Erin and Cornelius
My Bottom 3: Mah-Jing, Kimber and Rik
Judges Top 3
Jenni. Really? I mean it was a pretty coat but, huh? They loved the hand painting and she sold it as hard as she could. Nina loves the all over look.
Cornelius. Nina loved the surprise. Zak and Jamie said it was very current and cool.
Erin: Nina said it was demure and sexy. Jaime said it was elegant and loved the styling. They can’t believe she created the textile. Zak said it was better than some of the work by the big designers out there and Erin’s huge swollen head bursts through my screen. I flick it.
WHY IS ROBERI NOT HERE????
Judges Bottom 3
Kimber. Kimber loves her look and stands by it. Nina is concerned by this as she doesn’t think Kimber is going to get any more interesting. Jaime says it doesn’t feel special and she’s right.
Rik Sweet Lord, if Heidi Klum questions your taste level and calls something you designed tacky and hootchie, well, it’s time to get back to the drawing board and reign it in. Or call Porsha.
MJ He tried to save it verbally, but Nina compared it to a crime scene. He’s in tears.
Erin wins again and Cornelius is infuriated. HE could do a box pleat and just “glue things on”. Yeah, so do your version of that next time Cornelius and see how far it gets you.
Mah-Jing is safe (more tears) and Kimber is going home. Although she wound up in the bottom, she isn’t questioning herself. She believes in her work. She says a gracious goodbye.
I think Roberi was robbed. Do you agree with the judges this week?