Real Housewives of Melbourne: Gossip Girl

RHOMel

PLEASE DO NOT DISCUSS ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED AFTER THIS EPISODE. THIS INCLUDES WHO IF ANYONE DOES NOT RETURN NEXT SEASON OR WHY OR ANYTHING ABOUT THE SHOW PAST THIS EPISODE.

This is not going to be a good week for my girl, Lydia.  I feel like she is about to get her ass handed to her for all of her underhanded ways this season.  Poor girl.

At least we start with more fun shots of Dubai.  I wish they would have stayed somewhere else besides The Atlantis. With the money they saved on flights, couldn’t they have stayed at Burj Al Arab Jumeirah?  I just checked and the flight time was still 14 hours so perhaps the airfare wasn’t that much cheaper than the RHOBH.  Maybe Burj Al Arab Jumeirah doesn’t want filming.  Anyway. I suppose this is good enough.

We start with batshit crazy Petti. She is the only one who can be trusted to go check on Lydia because all the other women appear to want her dead. Lydia will take any port in the storm at this point.  Even Petti knows that Lydia is lying about not knowing what Chyka is mad at her about. Lydia’s eyelashes and full makeup look ridiculous over breakfast.

Everyone is going shopping and Petti agrees to back up Lydia. I’ll believe it when I see it.

 

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For the last night, the ladies have the Bridge Suite that runs $35,000 a night and Chyka has some super expensive jewelry on display. In her talking head, Chyka channels her inner Caroline Manzo in her confessional and says that she will not tolerate anyone coming after her family. Gina wants to know what she said and Jackie snaps at her saying that Lydia has been saying “it” for two and a half years.  Because Jackie wants to be in the know and keep Gina in the dark. If it is what I think it is, it is neither scandalous or something that everyone recapper in the US has not alluded two since season one.  One the bright side, we haven’t seen the bridge suite before and it has some spectacular views. 

Lydia arrives wearing a look that is similar to Chyka’s and the room gets very quite. Then the million dollar jewels come out and everyone gets to try them on.  Lydia tries to talk to Chyka but she says she is not ready and doesn’t want to ruin their last night. She wants to deal with it back in Melbourne. Petti tries to stir things up with Jackie. It works to the point that Jackie starts with Lydia and Chyka has to shut it down. I seem to have missed the point when Jackie became Chyka’s closest ally. I’m guessing it was when she told Chyka what Lydia was saying about her.

Next we are back in Melbourne.  Jackie goes to meet with her ex, and likely soon to be on again, husband Brian. Brian points out that they are still married. I had forgotten that. Brian asked to come home. Janet is concerned with how it would affect others if they reunite and break up again. Sounds like her answer is no. At least for now.

I don’t really care about Jackie’s reproduction quest.  Moving on…

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Lydia, talking about Gina back when I first hated her.

Lydia meets up with Janet and Gina to get some input on the Chyka situation. Janet doesn’t believe that Lydia doesn’t know what she said. She tells Lydia that she needs to fess up to her gossiping. Lydia keeps on denying her gossip. Gina arrives and she also tells Lydia that she knows exactly what is going on.  Gina says that Lydia has repeated the gossip to her. Lydia storms out while maintaining her denial. Gina says to her empty seat, “Karma’s a bitch, Lydia and she knows where you live.”

Now we are stuck with Lydia driving Fig he housekeeper crazy. Her mother arrives because Lydia is planning a 69th birthday party for her. I just looked up from the laptop and saw Lydia’s mom and rewound the tape convinced I had her age wrong. She looks fifty!  And she brought some homemade snacks and things for a charcuterie board. This gives Lydia a reason to boss Joanna around and tell her she is doing things wrong. Lydia’s mom is a lot like Lydia.  Lydia wants the party to have a Capri theme. I fear this means a Hugh Hefner type grotto with blue mood lights,

Gina meets with an “astrologer from OK magazine.” There’s a resume if I ever heard one. She seems very obsessed with Lionel Richie. Gina really wants to talk about herself instead of Lionel. The astrologer not so much.

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I can’t believe The Glass House if finished! I can’t wait to see it in all of its glory!  Chyka and Bruce have been working on this forever!   Oh it is spectacular! She has invited their top 500 clients….and all the bitches. Not smart.

Lydia appears to be lying to the other ladies about some texts between Lydia and Chyka that have momentarily cleared the air or at least tabled it for later discussion.  Jackie just confirmed that she has not spoken to Chyka. Janet also knows that she has not spoken to Chyka. Oh, Lydiot, honey.

Petti tries to shut down the attacks on Lydia and this results in all the daggers being slung to her instead. So Lydia shuts up and lets Gina and the rest go after Petti.

The second Chyka greets the ladies Jackie grabs her to stir the shit and tattle on Lydia.

Gamble and Gina have made up. Gamble’s distinguished husband is there and Gamble it thrilled that it is their first dinner where her place card has her new last name on it.  Petti is made at Lydia for not standing up for her when the women came for her. All I can focus on is that yellow dress. I am not sure if I love it or hate it. As I am trying to figure it out,  Lydia snaps me out of it by shouting at Petti to shut up and calling her an idiot. I missed what brought this on, but you can’t make an argument that it isn’t true. On the other hand, Petti is visibly hurt and it is very sad.  Sure Petti is a huge narcissist but in this instance she was standing up for Lydia. And she was trying to be a friend to her in Dubai when she was upset. And Lydia gets kicked around by all the women. It’s just a bit too cruel for me. I think all the women are cruel to Petti. It’s okay to call her out, but they all take it too damn far.

This bitch needs some mama Elsa.

This bitch needs some mama Elsa.

On the next episode, Lydia and Chyka finally sit down to talk things out.  It becomes apparent that Jackie is the one running to Chyka with all the rumors. Lydia and Jackie have it out once and for all. I hope that Lydia wallops her with her pocketbook.

20 Comments

Filed under Entertainment News, Real Housewives of Melbourne

20 responses to “Real Housewives of Melbourne: Gossip Girl

  1. Observer2

    Seems the impromptu breakfast that Pettifleur shows up to in Lydia’s room wasn’t quite so impromptu, and there’s only champagne on ice with 2 flutes. Must be on a liquid diet.

    I really like Chyka’s style and class. She knows how to shut these women down politely and effectively. Their Glasshouse restaurant is beautiful! Totally classy.

    I hope Janet and her husband try to get back together to test the waters in the off-season. They sure are cute together.

  2. I just can’t with Jackie. Is it just me or is her face, or facial expressions, really odd?

  3. When was this on? I couldn’t find it.

    • Observer2

      Last night (Friday) @ 9pm ET

      • Tamara I know you like Lydia – but how can you after the way she treats the lady ho is essentially her maid? It is terrible and degrading behavior. I will be happy to be rid of Lydia next season!

      • tamaratattles

        Perhaps because I have been doing this long enough to know she is playing to the cameras. The housekeeper is just fine. Don’t worry your pretty little head about her.

        I mean it’s not like she treats her like Ken treats their housekeeper on RHOBH.

  4. OK, two questions. Was that a hickie on Jackie’s neck when they were having dinner? Haven’t seen one of those in years, except on teenagers. Also, what “alternate method of contraception” are Jackie and her husband talking about to the fertility expert? They looked almost embarrassed by it, but the doctor caught on right away. I like Lydia, but sometimes she is beyond stupid. Why would she make up such a bold-faced lie about settling things temporarily with Chyka when it was so easy for any of the ladies to ask Chyka if it was true? Love this show, it’s the best Housewives show on the air.

    • Brianna

      Lol they were talking about the “pull out method”…. and I think that was Lydia’s way of trying to figure out how was squealing like a pig to chyka all the time and it’s even more obvious now it’s Jackie ….

      • I didn’t think it was that because everyone knows it’s a sure way to get pregnant. I have to admit I thought maybe they only practiced anal sex. Yuck and ouch! I’ve been watching too many shows where we get TMI about what they do in their private lives, and I thought this was the case with Jackie and her hubby. Hope they end up with a lovely baby, if that’s what they choose – Jackie will be shocked how much she loves her child, and they’ll grow into parenthood slowly, like we all do. That’s why babysitting children to see if you’re going to like being a mom and dad is a stupid idea – it’s so different when it’s yours, and you don’t begin with toddlers running amok.

  5. Dawn Brasher

    I tune in for Pettifleur’s fashion and hairstyles. She always brings it, love it or hate it. “Who begs to differ?”

  6. Jrleaguer

    This year, I like Jackie and Lydia is “on my list”…last year it was opposite.

  7. Barbara

    This is the last remaining H W shows I watch. The franchise has been totally destroyed by the narcissistic women who seek fame at any cost. Marriages, children, friendships destroyed. For what? Five minutes on the boob tube? Ladies of Melbourne, please ask yourselves what is it worth. For the love of god act like you care about anyone but yourselves. Love you Chykka. So strong and so admirable.

    • Melody Lema

      Barbara, you are 100% right! Right now I have 6 RHWONJ, 4 RHWONY (including the reunions), and 2 RHWOOC. I can stomach OC, a little bit more, that was until Kelly ( Brandi Jr.). Melbourne is the one with flash, class (Chykka!) and even laughter, Lydia putting on airs with a portrait of Fig, and bossing here help. I mean at first, it seemed as if her housekeeper was her last friend, as no one else would drive her anywhere, giggle giggle. Thanks for saying exactly what I have been thinking!

  8. tripleOGpearl

    Ok….call me slow ‘Cause I am lost. Am I wrong in assuming the rumors are that Chyka’s hubby is gay? I haven’t done my research so I apologize in advance. But I had to ask.

    And is the birth control method they are using, the pullout method? I’ve never seen two adults so uncomfortable talking about sex. Especially with a Dr. Was the awkwardness because of the cameras or because they are immature?

  9. margroc

    I used to like Jackie but this season, couldn’t stand her. I like Lydia. It bugs me, I’m sure they all talked about the rumours of Chyka’s husband and we all know they love talking about each other and about Lydia cheating on her husband. Jackie’s just a bitch.

  10. TR

    Love Chyka and love this series. I personally believe that Lydia gossips so much she honestly cannot remember what she said. That is what she should say at least instead of “I never said anything about Chyka”. Then apologize but no she wants to play innocent victim.

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