Married At First Sight: To Have And To Hold (Or Not…)



This season of Married at First Sight is full of pretty bad matches. If you are just watching for the first time, it’s not usually like this.  They are showing so many serious issues that I wonder if they are setting us up to be shocked a who stays together, because usually we have a lot of hope for at least some of them at the end, and then get disappointed. But that’s probably just me looking for reasons to keep watching.

Derek and Heather

For the love of God just put these two out of their misery and tell them they can both have their full stipends.

But that is not how their contracts work. Heather says apologizes and says Derek is not a bad person, but she can’t be married to him. Thank God.  This has never happened before. But it is what is best for Derek, and what is best for us.

Later, Derek feels betrayed and wonders if he is destined to be alone.  I don’t care how Heather feels. Derek has to tell his family and friends about the divorce. He’s embarrassed.  His friend is a great guy and very supportive of Derek. That makes me happy.

MAFS tom and lillian


Tom and Lilly

Tom got up and walked the dogs, and when he came back Lilly was gone. She did not answer his texts. Tom has no idea what is going on. Lilly returns to the house upset and closes herself off in their room without the cameras. Something is really wrong.

It seems that Lilly was in a serious car accident at some previous point and the doctor told her that her shoulder isn’t healing properly and she is going to need surgery. Lilly is scared and is worried that Tom won’t want to care for her during the recovery. Tom takes the news well and tells her they will get through it together.

Rachel arrives to counsel them and finds Lilly upset in her bed in her “love me, love me, love me.” outfit. Lilly seems to be pushing Tom away and asking for time alone.  So Rachel talks to Tom and tells him that constant reassurance is key in this time. Rachel gets Lilly out there so he can start reassuring her.  Rachel tries to get Lilly to let her guard down. Rachel leaves them with a gift. Body paints. Really Rachel?
MAFS Nick and Sonia

Nick and Sonia

It’s morning after their big fight where Nick told Sonia he wasn’t in love with her and Sonia took offense. She felt like he thought she was in love with him and has an expectation of reciprocation, but that is not the case.  I have been disagreeing with my commenters here about Nick and Sonia. I think they are a good match that just needs a lot of counseling and support to learn to communicate. This episode may win me over to the side of “this was a terrible match.” We shall see.  I take things like them unloading the dishwasher together as a good sign. Then Sonia tries to talk to Nick and he does the “I don’t know what do you think…” routine. Sonia isn’t any better about bring up the elephant in the room.  They dance around the subject not saying much but seem to make up despite themselves.

Nick planned a romantic date for Sonia. He brought her a sunflower because he listened to her and remembered that sunflowers are her favorite. SEE? You guys always act like he doesn’t like her. He is trying!  He just has some social awkwardness and is not a very good communicator!  He includes a wine sampling on the date so that they can get a bit drunk and loosen up. Nick says the wine glide made things a bit easier. Lots of smiles and a dozen wine glasses on the table.

For Previous Recaps From This Season And Previous Seasons Click Here! 

That night is their first night sleeping in the same bed because Nick was sleeping with the dogs. The dogs go in the crate. But the crate is practically in the bed with them. Nick can literally pet the dog from the bed.

The next day Rachel shows up. She speaks with Nick first. He says he is attracted to Sonia but not as much as with past women he has chosen himself. He does want to have sex with her (that was seriously edited audio) but he is not on a schedule. Nick says the date the previous night brought them closer than the entire previous week. He does say that they both need to be more open. She tells Nick exactly how to talk to Sonia.

Sonia tells Rachel things are up and down. She talks about the effort that Nick is putting in. Rachel tells Sonia they are both terrible communicators.

That night Nick and Sonia have a cocktail. Alcohol seems to be a key element for their marriage.  They play truth or dare. Nick is very open when drinking Jack Daniels.

Nick and Sonia go to a tantric massage therapist to force them to touch each other. Sonia seemed to fall in love with the female therapist. Not quite what we were going for. Nick is surprisingly open to the therapist as well. Sonia is ready to go home and get busy with Nick. But I’m not sure he is…


Filed under Entertainment News, Married At First Sight

51 responses to “Married At First Sight: To Have And To Hold (Or Not…)

  1. Jaded

    I like both couples but of the two I like Nick and Sonia best.

  2. Nila

    I haven’t watched yet but ouch! I think Derek should get a redo!

    Shoulder surgery? That was the big mystery? I was expecting like cancer or some major illness. Sounds like Lilly was a little selfish about it. Just disappearing and not answering texts is very child like. I hope that moved past that.

    I can’t stand Sonia’s voice…she needs to add a sexy J to her name! She is so insecure and I think that makes Nick hesitate. I haven’t given up hope on them yet..

  3. Liza

    Lilly was over the top. This couple is starting to rub me the wrong way. All the making out which is oddly disgusting, I hope I dont makeout like that!.. Just seems weird to me. Like they want it to appear more than it is after 2 weeks

  4. BeetsWhy

    Can Derek and Heather get an annulment given the marriage wasn’t consummated?

  5. Teresa

    Maybe Derek should seek some counseling to see what issues he has that have made him unsuccessful in finding a long term relationship. I don’t blame him at all for the demise of his marriage to Heather! However, there must be something that has gotten in the way because he is very good looking and seems like a good person.

    After the surgery drama, I am so over Lilly! Come on! I thought she had cancer or something horrible! Like I have said before, she is just too young for this!

    I started having new hope for Nick and Sonia (except when in bed he paid more attention to his crated dog than Sonia) in this episode until I saw the preview for the next episode. Nick is yelling that he is not attracted to Sonia. So…that explains a lot…

    • mddc

      They’re all on the show because they’re unsuccessful in finding long term relationships. If you ask me, Heather needs more therapy than Derek does.

      • Teresa

        Oh I definitely agree! I just don’t care if Heather ever finds someone. I don’t think counseling would work for her either because she thinks she is perfect. Also, here I go again, but Lilly is only 24. She hasn’t lived long enough to know if she could find someone on her own!

  6. Did you see the preview where Nick totally opens up and says he’s not attracted to her and is not interested? Ugh. I don’t think they have a chance.

    • SallyMonroe

      That preview seemed heavily edited which made me suspicious. I think previews for this, like many other shows, are edited to tease something more dramatic than actually appears on the show. Or I hope that’s the case. I’m hopeful for Nick and Sonia too.

  7. When I saw that preview, I had the feeling production edited it to sound misleading.

  8. Kara

    Lilly made me SO MAD this episode. She need constant attention and if he isn’t fawning over he (i.e. Walking the dogs), she storms out without telling him where she’s going and then clomps back in like a Clydesdale and shuts herself away. Here I am thinking she actually has something wrong with her, when in reality she needs shoulder surgery! Painful, yes. Life threatening? No. she needs to get over herself and her nasty face

  9. lavidaLinda

    It almost sounded like Heather was letting a stalker down gently, and she needs to get over herself.
    When she said that he was going to try to make it work with whomever he got matched with, like it was a bad thing not, you know, the ENTIRE POINT of the show. She truly is horrible.

    Hopefully once Derek sees the show, he will realise that he truly dodged a bullet. (And if he’s ever up in Boston, I’ve got a friend to set him up with).

    When Lilly said the “all clear from the doctor” I thought, that’s why she has no hair, she had chemo and it’s growing back in….nope, just a bum shoulder. A lot over the top. I do like her and hope the surgery goes well. And Lilly, honey, please burn those pajamas, yesterday.

    I think Sonia is too emotionally needy for the very uptight Nick. I’m hoping they do make it.

    • mddc

      I thought the same thing when Heather when that stupid ass comment about trying to make it work with whomever. If she wasn’t willing to do that, why did she agree to do the show? Can’t stand her. I also thought the same with Lilly. I like her too and I hope everything works out with her surgery AND with Tom.

  10. Sharon

    I agree with you TT regarding the bad matches this year-much worse than in previous seasons and I don’t like the new “experts” at all! The offer very little real, solid insight and commentary for these couples.

    I am routing for Nick and Sonia and after this week I think Nick doesn’t really feel any physical attraction YET for Sonia but I hope I am wrong! It’s only been 2 weeks and Nick has said he thinks she is attractive and has a great smile and he is hoping with time that the feelings or setup desire will develop “organically” as he put it.

    I know I am in the minority about Derek and Heather. I really think the pot smoking thing got to her and he seemed too jealous and adolescent like to me although I do think Heather shut down early on and didn’t give it a chance. I do give props to Derek for quitting smoking when she was upset about it. I also give Heather major props for not allowing this to go forward for the entire six weeks knowing it was not a good match for her. Something I think Ashley should have done with David. Heather was respectful and complimented Derek telling him he was a good person and did not tear him down in their final talk with the Pastor. Kinder to let him down now than later when he may have been hurt worse.
    So glad you are recapping this T.T. !

    • Sharon

      Sorry-I meant to say sexual desire not setup desire.

    • SallyMonroe

      Agree with you 100% on Derek and Heather, about both the pot smoking and the confrontational personal attacks when he fought with her. In the scene on the balcony, when he said, “When we get divorced…,” you could see her flinch. After that moment she never seemed to be open to him again. I felt sorry for her and wondered how the experts could see these two as a match. They just seem so different. I thought it took courage for her to refuse to drag it out and pretend for the sake of the show.

  11. Deirdre

    I’m still nauseous at the sight of Tom’s filthy animal feet. Blech, dude, at least put on flip flops or something.

  12. Allison

    I feel like they lost the formula they used previously match couples. Put a couple together where one is scared of dogs but the other adores his dogs and watch them work it out is a recipe for disaster and I can’t figure out who thought that was a great idea. Just an example of the strange logic I’ve seen from the professionals. Maybe its the new onesnthe brought on? Either way, they’re not doing well.

  13. Lady_Bug

    I say the Derek and Heather relationship is definitely best handled as you put a horse out of its misery. Heather is definitely the problematic one in this relationship. I hope Derek finds love that makes him easily forget about the horrible two weeks of his life, lost to time with Heather.
    Lilly was far too unnecessarily dramatic about her shoulder. It’s not as if she has to have an organ removed. Geeze! It’s also annoying to watch them dialogue about kids. They were oh so quick to engage in the act that creates children, and Tom is like, but I’ve only knowneed you two weeks. She is talking about IN THE FUTURE.
    Nick and Sonia…. *Major sigh* Sonia needs a different type of man to make it comfortable to open up. I am confident she has it in her, and will easily be achieved, if it was someone unlike Nick.
    Nick is NOT into her #pointblank period.
    Next week’s episode shall bring what in the dark (in Nick) to light.

  14. Merilee

    Heather and Ashley really irritate me. They both showed no interest practically right from the start. Can’t stand either of them. I hope Derek finds someone that will appreciate him. Heather said she could handle an occasional smoker on her application and then all she complains about is the smoking. Get real Heather, you should have said non smoker if that was going to bother you so much.

  15. If Nick had been matched with a fellow animal lover, the chemistry would be there much more quickly!

  16. Rita Jones

    This show is so far off the tracks we are all just waiting for confirmation that NO ONE stays together! My only hope was Tom and Lily stop screwing long enough to really get to know each other but my hope for that is slowly diminishing as Lily acted a fool about her shoulder. How can you act like you are so enamored but have little faith in his compassion? It’s not a disfigurement it’s an Fng shoulder correction give us a break with the drama. Was this production suggestion? playing it up for the camera maybe? Nick and Sonia have been on the road to divorce since the “let’s not touch yet” honeymoon. Derek and Heather were on that same road from the reception. Another rough year for MAFS.

  17. Christine Timmons

    If I remember correctly Heather said to Derek on the honeymoon “Your smoking everyday” not once and then stopped. I’m thinking his reaction towards her was harsh and defensive and immediately attacked her verbally as a person. He walked out ….left her there. Derek should of sat next to her on the beach at the first mention of her being upset and showed concern for her feelings. Maybe even hugged her. He blew it!!!! Nick loves his dogs and Sonia is fearful of dogs!!! Stupid match!!
    Lilly and Tom are a turn off now. Not impressed with these matches.

    • tamaratattles

      You don’t seem to have much of a grasp of Heather. Are you also a fan of Bethenny? They seem to have very similar issues that it seems you admire.

  18. Cara

    Tamara, I have been reading your commentary for years on this show, and knew I could come here to find some people making sense. I am wondering why Dr Pepper isn’t taking a stronger role in some of these relationships this time around. She really helped last season, but she didn’t even have one intervention session with Heather and Derrick. I wonder if she called that train wreck from the beginning and refused to help. I also think she needs to give Lily some well needed reality advice because Rachel isn’t cutting it for me with them.

  19. Nila

    Just watched..

    Where did all those dogs come from with Tom & Lilly? I thought she had one..I guess I missed something? Ugh, she so overreacted! It’s a shoulder surgery, she’s not going to be left barren or disabled! She didn’t get on my nerves before but now I really don’t care for her. I have very thin hair as well and damn she needs to cut it shorter with layers to add some volume and please get it dyed..

    I cannot stand Sonia’s voice, it’s so child like and that’s not sexy! I think they should put the dogs outside the bedroom. I love my dog but if my spouse was afraid, I could make that sacrifice for my partner.

    Are we going to have to keep getting non updates about Heather and Derek? Derek sure dodged a bullet!

    • Rita Jones

      I can’t image being in bed with someone who is fingering his dog the entire time yet never touching me or acknowledging me! I’d send him and his damn dog packing! I don’t even want an animal in my bedroom during intimacy!!!! Nick is a weirdo!

  20. One of the premises of the show is that these are adults who have exhausted all other means of finding a spouse. In Lilly’s case, she’s only 24. Sorry to break it to you, baby girl, but love (and life) haven’t even started to kick your ass yet!! Heather, on the other hand, was too infatuated with both herself and what she called her “lovable life.” If her life was so incredible, why even sign up? Oh, I know. Because no man in the real world can live up to your standards!! As for Nick and Sonia, I truly had high hopes for them…right up until I saw next week’s previews!

  21. Marianne

    Thank you for the recaps. I have watched all 3 seasons, and this one is the worst. How many times do we have to hear the experts state that they are marrying a complete stranger… over and over again. Maybe the show needs new writers, or someone with some creativity, not a puppet who has to keep reminding us that they are strangers – and they will have to get a divorce (gasp) if this marriage does not work out. The couples are boring – I now FF whenever Derick or Heather are on, it is sad and pathetic. I think they should have maybe 6 couples per season – they would not have to say the same lines over and over and the viewers would have more couples to cheer on. Now that there are only 2 couples, it is kind of pitiful watching.

  22. Lauren

    Heather is just the worst. She was not ready for marriage. She did Derek a favor by ending things. Its harsh to say, but if she acts like that forever she is never going to find someone.

  23. lori

    I’m sorry, but Nick thought that saying the words boobs and butt was salacious and must have been the “booze talking”. A 14 year old is more comfortable telling his girlfriend that in a mature way than this full grown man. Something isn’t right here, and it’s way more than he’s just not attracted to her specifically. I have thought since the second episode that he may be gay but thought that there’s no way the matchmakers could possibly miss such a thing. I have seen nothing to make me think otherwise. Quite the opposite. The preview for next week looks really harsh and cruel. I agree with others that Sonja’s voice is hard to handle. I wonder if that’s really her natural born voice or if she learned speaking like that from somewhere, like that is feminine or sweet or something. She would portray as a very different person if her voice was a normal tone/octave. Looks like the matchmakers screwed up horribly, once again.

    • I don’t think Nick is gay at all. I agree with TT that he shows clear signs of being on the spectrum, and that communicating the way most of us do is a true challenge for him. What sucks worse is that Sonja’s a bad communicator. A bad communicator with someone on the spectrum is just a recipe for disaster.
      If something really goes wrong for them, I think it will be Sonja pushing too hard and Nick totally shutting down.

      • lori

        It could be, of course. I’m so surprised that he was chosen for this experiment. I guess that somehow he must have articulated better through the audition/selection process.

      • He probably did articulate well/better because I feel like he’s fine at communicating about wanting to be married and his love life but not adept to communicating within the situation.

  24. According to my Gaydar ~ Nick definitely is not.
    Putting his dogs in a crate was a big deal.
    Those two will never be happy.

    Also, once Heather ‘caught wind’ about Derek’s herb preferences, she was OUT, but I think it mostly had to do with Airline’s no drug policy or your termnited.
    This was, after all, awkwardly aired publicly.

    • lori

      Yeah, I would never put any of my animals in a crate for anyone. I wouldn’t even date someone who doesn’t adore animals period. My heart went out to him when he had to do that. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have continued to let her sleep in another room, so I give him a lot of credit for even being willing to do that, but I can see that alone causing a huge resentment on his part. I don’t understand why no one has thought of a better way to start to work on this issue, like how to help her overcome her fear. I don’t know what on earth the matchmakers were thinking.

      • Allison

        Gurrrrrl I’m with you-I wish someone would tell me to crate my dog. Never. He’s little-and sleeps in bed with my husband and me, so that’s not gonna happen anyway. I could maybe see them pairing a dog lover with a cat lover or maybe someone indifferent but to put someone who is actually fearful of dogs is sort of cruel, in my opinion, and poor matching. This new crew of “experts” is questionable.

      • Teresa

        Yes!!! Thank you for reiterating what I have been saying! The matches are mostly terrible and so is the counseling that has been provided. It’s difficult to watch at times.

      • tamaratattles

        I have resigned myself to the fact that I will have a giant crate as a tv table as long as i have banjo. He gets really pissed if I latch the crate while he is outside and I am vacuuming. He sleeps all over the house but when he goes to bed it’s in the crate. It’s his favorite place. he dog will be fine in a crate.

      • Allison

        I know people who’s dogs think of their crate as their “safe” place and sleep there, etc. I’ve never owned one, so if we put Atticus in one he’d be like “what the ever loving fuck is this?” And it’d go over like a fart in church.

  25. Rose

    Nick and Sonia are still my favorite couple but they both suck at communication. Sonia needs to tell Nick what being open means to her and that she wants his attention like he so lovingly gives his dogs. Lillian is much more needy when I thought Tom was the needy one. Derek’s friend gave him good advice. Scared fit all of them based on promos for next week.

  26. I think that nick may be repressing the fact that he may be gay. And not attracted to women. I just get that vibe.

    • RENOB

      I finally got to check out this episode last night! Thanks for watching this show, it is one of my faves. Jennifer, I agree about Nick. He is way too awkward with the female persuasion. The fact that he is almost a mute makes me wonder how in the world the “experts” paired him with Sonia. Two bad communicators equals no relationship. I liked Nick at first, but now I want to slap his snarky mute face every time I see him. Heather is a Grad A B*tch. She will never be happy with a man unless he is a doormat. Derek certainly dodged a bullet there. Derek, although seemingly smart, nice and funny, is a man-child. You can just tell he is very immature. His tattoos (pizza?), his shoes and his apartment all say BOY. I think he wants to be in a loving relationship, I just don’t think he is mature enough to know what that even means or entails. Not hating on him, just my opinion (being married to a man-child gives me a ton of insight). Lily should not be on the show. She is far too young to be married in the first place. I am sure once the sexual chemistry dies down, Tom will realize he married someone who is way too young. Young people love drama and she is going to take him for a ride! I thought for sure it was lupus or something with her bald head, but a stupid shoulder injury made her that dramatic? It is seriously unbelievable that they cast her. I kind of feel bad for Tom. I am not even sure why he wants to be married, I thought having kids was the main purpose of marriage? Otherwise, be single, live in a bus and have a side piece of ass now and then. Why be married Tom?! I don’t think any of these couples will last. They just weren’t matched very well.

    • Elliott

      This has been my concern, Jennifer. There are a lot of gay people who do not appear gay. There are also people who don’t want to be gay and are trying everything to NOT be. I’ve had 3 friends like this. Then there are those who don’t understand that they are gay. For those who say their “gaydar” isn’t going off, it doesn’t have to.

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