Daily Tea (Open Forum): Hurricane Hermine Plus Hawaiian Hurricanes


I thought I would put up a Daily Tea today because I am a bit under the weather. I’ve been doing a lot of backend work, it was the first of the month and that’s when all my bill need to get paid, and I’m working on some new ad options for the site that you may be seeing soon. As Yolanda would say, I just ran out of spoons today. I thoroughly intended to do recap at least Flipping Out tonight, and I am anxious to watch but won’t be watching it until tomorrow when I can recap, so don’t spoil me!

A lot of my favorite commenters are in the path of Hermine tonight and I hope you are all somewhere safe. Keep us posted on how things are going if you can!



It looks like she will be cutting across Florida and heading up the east coast messing up the Labor Day weekend for many at the very least. My thoughts will be with all of you on the South Carolina coast.  That’s pretty much my favorite place to be. Stay safe everyone!

I know a lot of you are going through a lot. I’ve been thinking of Sliceo’pie all day, sending good thoughts. If you are not up to date on her situation go the the previous Daily Tea (Farmer’s Market).

Hopefully, I’ll have more energy tomorrow and will get some good posts up. In the mean time, thanks for all the great comments today on the RHONY post.

Updated because I haven’t been paying attn to news much and just realized Hawaii is getting hit too!


Filed under Daily Tea

81 responses to “Daily Tea (Open Forum): Hurricane Hermine Plus Hawaiian Hurricanes

  1. Hi, T NW Florida!T and friends from

  2. therealdeb

    Rest up Tamara, you deserve a little down time. Hope you get to feeling better soon, i am gonna watch some football!

  3. Internet acting crz. Storm coming in to my east. 72 miles from home but also east side hitting my home county from all projections. Lucky I now live west of there but worried about fam.

  4. JustJenn

    Oh, Sliceo’pie. I’m sorry that everything is piling up on you at once. Is your Mom doing better yet? A trip to visit your Dad could be nice or a short get away holiday weekend with your boy. Sometimes it feels as if the bottom falls out in life and can be truly overwhelming, but realize that there is no where to go except up with a fresh and exciting new start. I hope you feel better. <3

  5. Margarett

    I’ve been thinking about Sliceo’Pie, too. I just hate the way some folks choose our most vulnerable time to attack us,

    I am sorry that I am changing the subject, but I just found out that I am getting a Yorkie baby very soon! With our little guy they’ll be “Sunny Boy and Baby Girl”. Nothing is final, and any clever name suggestions are appreciated!

    I am so excited that I’ve been doing the ” Blues Brothers” dance around the house! I’m pretty sure that I look like Elwood!🙄

    • Joanplus2dogs

      Congrats on the new addition! I would suggest Bonny Blue( gone with the wild) or Bonnie Girl for name.

      • Joanplus2dogs

        Dang spell check – gone with the wind!

      • Margarett

        You are so sweet. Bonnie Blue…wasn’t Rhett’s love for her what we all would have wanted?

        I grew up with “we’ll see” and “don’t get your hopes up”. Now, nearly 70 years later, it still hurts.

      • Margarett

        Bonnie Gitl it will be if I get her. I thought it was a done deal; however, now it seems the owner can’t decide. The man( a friend of my husband) says it’s because his wife has Huntington’s. Beats me. I just know I am so let down! But, if the crazy bitch decides to act like N adult her name will be Bonnie Girl. I love that!!

      • Joanplus2dogs

        I believe some of it is generational. At least you will be able to love your baby doggies just like that. Funny thing the dog I am grooming tomorrow is named Sunny but a girl, a cutie. Many years ago friends had a show dog whose call name was Sunny, his akc name was Preferred Weather. I always loved that. Just get her checked at vet well when you pick her up. Yorkies now a long list of hereditary health issues. Have fun!🐶

      • Margarett

        Oh Joan, now it looks as if silly bitch owner doesn’t know what she wants.

        Our Sunny Boy is nearly 10 years old (9/29). I would have loved to have that little girl, but it doesn’t look as if that is going to happen

        I am sure there’s a reason, but I still can’t seem to not cry when I let
        myself think about it. At least it all happened in one evening!

      • Joanplus2dogs

        Sorry Margarett I know the feeling. Couple of times in the process of adopting a dog, it didn’t work out. All you can think of is those sweet eyes saying take me I’m a good dog. However each time afterwards I found the one I was truly meant to bring home. So as Scarlett says tomorrow is another day & you never know what might happen. If you really want a yorkie, there are many yorkie/toy rescues out there – all deserving a nice home.

      • Margarett

        Your words were such a comfort, Joanplus2dogs. Today I looked and indeed there are several Yorkie and small dog rescue sites right around here where I live…near Houston.

        My precious Lab had mast cell cancer and I lived in fear that she’d need medical care when my husband was offshore. Now I want a dog/s that I can lift and carry should the need arise.

        Thank you again for knowing exactly what to say!!!

  6. Lolita

    Good evening. Hope you get some rest and feel better. Tampa Bay area here. The children had no school today, and for precautions, cancelled tomorrow as well. My daughter is ecstatic, as homework is due on Fridays 😀. Nothing too bad in my hood. Just lots of slow rain. Many in the area have lost power. Most of my FB friend’s near the beach lost power several hours ago. The worst part for our area is flooding. Infrastructure around here very old, so the flooding is a given. We are expecting another band around midnight, then we are done. Cedar Key is getting a lot of surge. Hope nothing

    too bad. Such a funky, cool town. Do you take B12 TT?.. I take the liquid and it really helps with energy. Stay safe. Atlanta will get some rain from Hermine.♡♡♡

  7. Theresa

    Orlando here… had 2 tornado warnings telling us to seek shelter. expecting another after midnight. Lots of rain.

  8. Dee

    Tamara, as hard as you work for us, you deserve some downtime whenever you like. I hope you and Banjo are having a nice evening.. There are days where the stories come out faster than I can read them. I hope you and Banjo are having a nice evening. Sliceopie, thinking of you as I do Another Mary. Take care of you and your sweet son. Hugs, Dee

  9. Dee

    Duh, nothing like repeating myself, sorry! 😉

  10. gapeachinsc

    Wow! I didn’t know what Sliceo`pie is going through. My heart breaks for her. Unfortunately it happens like that far too often. As a matter of fact I’m supposed to head down to Atlanta tomorrow morning for my bff, She was recently diagnosed with leukemia from chemo for breast cancer. Her husband just walked out on her too. After 24 years and all of this and he just walked out. He said he’d keep paying the house note but he stopped immediately, and now she’s being forced out while going for blood and platelets 3 times a week. He has a girlfriend and can’t keep paying for 2 households. And she still loves him and keeps calling him, hoping he’ll come back. He just yells at her that she’s stressing him out, his back has been bothering him, he just had to buy 4 new tires for his truck, blah blah blah. Anyway, I share all this because all too often women stay with partners who treat them horribly. I hate that she spent so many years with him always making sure he had all he desired while she continually went without. I believe she thought (and continues to think) that he’s “suddenly” going to realize how good she was to him and she will finally win his heart. She should have realized it would never happen long, long ago. She was blinded by love and she is so heartbroken I worry about her recovery. She’s more concerned about not pissing him off than her own health. And all of this is triggering my own issues regarding control. It’s hard to be there for her while she makes horrible choices. All I can do is try to stay calm and let her live her life the way she sees fit. And it sucks. And to top it all off, I really need to be there tomorrow but I’m up in Greenville SC and there is supposed to be a lot of rain and I DETEST driving on the interstate. I swear I’d go the back roads if I didn’t think it would take 2 days. Hopefully I can beat the rain in the early morning.

    Thanks for the opportunity to vent,

    • Margarett

      Gapeachinsc, it is so hard to see someone we care about make bad choices. I never know whether to say, “Of course, it’s okay that you still love him.” or “pull your head out of your ass! Kick him to the curb!”

    • Cat

      Grrr…that pisses me off. For a man to be so cold as to walk out on his sick wife. Sorry. That is NOT a MAN. That is a PIG.

      We women need to stop trying to be equal to swine. We are better than that. Much better.

      We need to stand tall and strong and confident. Independent. If a man can’t handle that, then tough. He is no man.

      Let these weak-assed men be pigs. We women will fry the bacon.

      Please be safe on the wet roads.

    • AAL

      Never posted here before but just had to reply to this. Karma is coming to him big time! I have a friend who was married for 34 years and she catered to him the entire time. He left her for a woman 28 years younger. Since his business was on the same property as their home my friend had to move to a much smaller house. Fast forward a couple of years, the jerk developed kidney cancer and the young wife left, with a big chunk of his money. Now he’s begging my friend to take him back. So far she’s holding strong and saying no and I’m praying everyday that she can hold tight but she still loves the jerk. The only thing you can do is be there for your friend, I’m sure you’ll have to do a lot of tongue biting but she has to make her own choice. I would never wish cancer or any harm on anyone but karma does exist! Be safe on your trip. I’m in Atlanta too and the good news there is only a 20% chance of rain tomorrow and Saturday is supposed to be beautiful.

    • MM in OC

      There is a special place in hell for those to abandon sick spouses. My dad included. Unfortunately most women will not fight for what they are entitled. Praying for your friend’s recovery.

  11. Whyowhy

    Oh gosh! My heart breaks for you, Slice. I’m so sorry I haven’t been around. I hope your mom is doing better. You will get through this. You have us to support you. Seni.g all my love to you from Sacramento.

    Get some rest, TT. This is a good (long) weekend to do it.

    Not much planned for me. Going to a couple of movies. BFF and I are taking her son to see The Neverending Story in the theater on Sunday. I’m super excited about it. Lol!

    Monday I’m going to take myself to see The Light Between Oceans and tomorrow, I’m going to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens in the old theater here.

    Saturday is my cleaning day. I think there’s a rat in the garage, I found some poop, so I want to pull everything out and clean, then spray. I Googled pet safe and all natural remedies, so I’m going to try a couple. Does anyone have any suggestions?

    • Minky

      Haha! Yes. I suggest an ax. It’s pesticide free and it gets the job done swiftly. If the ax is too grisly for you, and you don’t like the idea of seeing blood, then you can try a crow bar or a wrench. ☺️

      I suggest something similar for Sliceo’pie’s husband. And gapeachinsc’s friend’s husband. No I don’t mean murder for the husbands, just a good, thorough thrashing. Take them to the woodshed! And don’t let them cry either. Make them take their whooping in silence. Only innocent, good people have the right to tears.

      I know I sound like a foul bitch, but the husband stories just make me so mad. Abusive assholes, the both of them! Grrrrrr.

    • Dee

      I loved the Neverending Story, my son’s did too, hope you have a good time. Is this a new version? When my friend was diagnosed with MS her husband left, two small boys, what a jerk! So sorry! Hope y’all have a good weekend. Hey, Hannah KRose, I hope you’re okay.

  12. Opela88

    I grew up in a town called Herminie ! I’m amused by the name lol

  13. Margarett

    Tamara, if there’s anything I/we can do (i.e. comments, views, clicking on ads, etc.),please just say so.

  14. JustJenn

    I hope everyone facing bad weather stays safe!

    My asshole neighbor contested the harassment order so we finally had a hearing. The judge stayed the order while he has the case under advisement. He had an attorney and I was pro se, plus he’s a cop so I am already celebrating this small victory. God he’s the worst, though.

    • Whyowhy

      Ugh, Jenn. I’m sorry. I hope you get the result you are needing.

    • Minky

      Oh JustJenn! Trashy neighbors are just the worst. They can make your whole life seem like a never-ending misery. I’ve got a couple myself, so I can imagine what you’re going through. These people belong in a zoo! I hope you have a good judge who can see through their bullshit.

      • JustJenn

        Thank you both! The order has been in place for two? months now and life has been so much better. His lawyer went for dismissal immediately, but the judge said he wanted to hear the case and go over the evidence. I am cautiously optimistic..at least I know I’m getting a few more weeks. Hopefully he just decides to be a normal person and go away.

      • Margarett

        Yet another reason! You are such a sweet little scamp, Minky!

  15. Auntie Velvet

    I’m so worried about my sister in Charleston. Not just because of the actual danger, but because she went through Hugo and now has terrible PTSD over any kind of hurricane warning.

    Stay safe, all y’all!

  16. Margarett

    Like Cat said, “Let them be pigs; we’ll fry the bacon”!! Yes !!!

  17. MM in OC

    can’t wait to see the comments on big brother. Nicory are idiots. That is all.

  18. Cherry Bomb

    Praying for everyone in the paths of the hurricanes out there…. The last hurricane (Ike ) that hit Houston tore the roof off of part of my house and garage plus I was without electricity for nearly a month. Houston in summer without AC is pure hell… So hoping everyone stays safe. And to all the other lovely souls out there going through their bad situations my heart and prayers to you as well. Love Peace and Light.

    • Matzah60

      Cherry Bomb, I feel your pain. I don’t live in Texas but I know how hot it can get in summer. Here in NJ in 2012 on June 30th, we had this crazy storm called Derecho. There was no warning until midnight when I was sound asleep. My son was home from college, waiting tables for the summer. They lost electricity and were not allowed to leave until around 4 am. When he came home, he saw the three oak trees upfront complete uprooted and two hit the roof, the electric, and fencing. The back deck was ripped out. My house was a wreck. I woke up and walked outside to get the trash cans. I sat in the driveway in a nightgown crying. I had over $50 grand in repairs and it was a nightmare getting the money from my insurance carrier. No electric for two weeks during an unusual summer with temps reaching 100 the first week post storm.

      So everyone, stay safe and evacuate if you are told to leave your home. Tamara, I am sorry to hear you aren’t feeling well. You burn the midnight oil writing this blog so I hope you get much needed rest and rejuvenation time.

      You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I value all of you, especially Tamara for creating this blog where we can all ‘talk’ laugh, and vent!!! Peace out!!!

      • Dee

        Oh MATZAH! I remember that storm, little to no warning, what a mess, so sorry! We had water pouring in our window sills, used every towel we owned.

      • Matzah60

        Dee, It was a little unknown storm but spanned several different areas across the east coast, north and south of my house. Some of the trees that were uprooted literally landed on cars and pulled the lawn up out of the soil which stuck up in the air. It was so crazy. Hope all went well for you and you got everything repaired. My house will never look the same, but at least it’s not leaking everywhere. Glad to find someone who has heard of this storm. :)

  19. i feel like you are all part of my family. i’ve been reading tamaratattles since i can remember. everyone stay safe!

  20. Oh Slice – you’re in my prayers. Things will turn around but I know how overwhelmed you must feel.

    I can’ finally read TT again. I don’t know what was happening but I couldn’t read the posts and it was making me crazy.

    I have been on my own at my little farmette for a while now and I am proud to say I can do it all myself. It is canning and freezing time and I’m doing just fine. It takes a lot of time with just one person but, being alone, I have plenty of time. Stewed tomatoes and salsa are made and there is corn in the freezer. This weekend will be jams and jellies. It seems silly to do all this when there is no one here to eat it, but I planted it so I’d better finish the job.

    My steers go in for butchering in about a month and I have it all sold so there will be a little money left over to pay the winter heating bills. I’ve got this.

    Have a great long weekend everyone!

    • Dee

      Mary, so happy to hear how well you are doing. I think of you often, Hugs, Dee

    • tamaratattles

      SO glad you got your phone issues worked out Mary! And even happier that you are thriving on the farmette! Great job!

    • Matzah60

      @Justanothermary, I am happy to hear that you are feeling better and moving forward. Been there so I totally get it. I remember how I was unable to concentrate on anything when my ex left, so I understand how you couldn’t sit and read the comments. I have been rooting for you in my head and my prayers. Keep on keeping on! 😄👍

      • Thank you all for your concern. It’s been the roughest Summer of my life but Fall is going to feel pretty good. I still find myself in tears from time to time, but not often. Sometimes I even catch myself smiling. Thanks to TT for having a space for us to share and vent. It really is helpful.

    • Margarett

      YOU are there to eat all of those yummy fresh things, another Mary! I do know what you mean though. I frequently hear myself say, “Oh I never fix that just for myself.”

      When you’re enjoying your bounty, congratulate yourself for a job well done. It takes a lot of knowledge and hard work to manage a farm.

  21. Coco

    TT, I hope you feel better! Are you still eating better and drinking electrolyte water? If so, you body may be in shock. I know when I start eating well my body is so shocked and it takes me a minute to feel somewhat normal. I hope you are sleeping better. Have a great weekend!

  22. Coco

    Slice O its always darkest before the dawn. Please hang in there! Take care of yourself, so you will be there and be able to be strong for your son who really needs you during this time. I pray your Mother is coming around.

  23. Matzah60

    @Sliceo’pie. I just read your post from last week. I know you don’t know me and words cannot convey how sad I am for you and your son and how mad I am at your husband for the way he has treated you and your son. As TT said, you are not alone. Everyone on this blog married or single has great empathy for you.

    I think writing is very cathartic and very useful to release all your feelings. When I went through my divorce, I worked with a social worker. She was amazing. She told me to get a notebook and write in it every day. It seemed ridiculous to me at the time. I had two boys, one 5 1/2 and the other almost 12. All I wanted to do is sleep and do my best to take care of my kids. I also worked full time and could barely concentrate, but I couldn’t afford to lose my job.

    Someone gave you very good advice. A very close friend of mine I had met in college(but lives three hours from me), told me that regardless of how bad I felt, I had to get out of bed and get a lawyer pronto. I am consigning on that advice already given to you.

    Oddly enough, I had gone to a lawyer when my then 12 year old was just 5. I backed out, but regret I gave up all those years on a man who seems to only be a stranger to me now.
    Divorce is all Business now. It’s about dividing assets, custody, child support, and getting alimony for yourself. My divorce was way back in 1997 (when it was finalized), but my good friend I mentioned above told me that if my ex had even a phone consultation with him, I wouldn’t be able to use them. I got a lawyer and filed first. Not sure if it’s advantageous, but some people say it is.

    Take anything of value you have, cash, jewelry (you can sell it if you need cash. I sold all of mine), bonds, etc. put it in a vault or a home safe or bring it to your parent’s house. My ex wouldn’t leave the house and expected me to continue cooking, shopping for him, and doing his laundry. Eventually, my 12 year old told him to leave and that pissed him off enough to leave.

    If you still have access to joint checking accounts, take half before he closes them. Same with savings accounts. Open your own accounts in your name only at another bank.

    I know it sounds overwhelming, but you will get through this, I promise. Since you didn’t work during the marriage, you will get quite a bit of money coming to you and your son. The first thing to do now is get a good, reputable lawyer.

    Go visit your mom and your dad. I am certain your dad wants and needs you there. It will really get your mind off of your problems and bring much light to your parents.

    Love and peace to you. One day at a time.

    • Cat

      Great advice.

      Don’t do what I did. I wanted to be a “good sport”. I waived alimony. I could really use that money now.

      • Matzah60

        Cat, I waived permanent alimony but opted for five year rehabilitative alimony. I wish now I hadn’t like you cause I could sure use it now. I just never wanted him to say I bled him dry. He still managed to fine other nasty things to say to me and about me.

        I know you wish you had it now. I wish the same for you if I had the power to do so. I would just like to be able to pay my weekly bills and so far, I can still usually do that. He was like a male version of Bethenny. A man with a black soul.

      • Cat

        There were a lot of problems in our marriage. On both sides.

        I came in with a lot of baggage. He had mommy issues. I had daddy issues. It didn’t become a problem until he turned into my father. He became consumed with greed, and became very critical. I was no longer good enough.

        When he left, a week before Christmas, I thought my life was over. I had become such a trophy wife! I had no friends of my own.

        And I had no identity without him. I was an empty shell…a “non-person”.

        But gradually, I reinvented myself. Although we were divorced, we remained friends. What was weird was, he became friends with my sister. They kept in touch long after we stopped communicating.

        As time went on, I got stronger and stronger. The defining moment was when I took my settlement and packed up to move from California to Florida. They both came to see me off. And as I was ready to drive away, my sister mentioned their bet.

        They had bet on whether or not I would actually go. And how far I would get before turning around to come back. Or “Running back”, as my sister put it.

        Of course, this pissed me off. I became angry for the first time in my life. I left, and did not look back. Cats have 9 lives. For me, that life was over. This was a NEW life.

        The point of all this over share is: Although divorce may initially seem like the end of the world, it doesn’t have to be. Although today he is wealthy, and I am struggling financially, at least I AM MY OWN PERSON.

        I gave up wealth, and gained my soul.

      • The hardest part of all this for me is that a few months ago I had a full life. There were always people around and something going on. When he left he took all that with him. When I married him 30 years ago I moved into his life. He had kids and a big loud wonderful family. I didn’t bother to cultivate my own life because my life with him was full. Now everything is quite. My family has passed away and I have no children of my own. The boys say they’ll still come around and that they love me but that never really happens. I miss the grandkids most of all. I’ll be alright alone but that’s what I will always be, alone. I’ll never stick my heart out again. They say you find out who your friends are when the chips are down. I found out I don’t have any. I thank God for my animals because I really don’t think I’d still be here if they didn’t depend on me.

      • tamaratattles

        Mary, you need to invite the grandkids and their parentts over for a specific day. Set up at specific time with them. “Please come over any time” is not the same as “Hey, I’d love it if you guys could come this Saturday, I’ll make (whatever) and we can (whatever).

      • Thanks Tamara – I’ll try that.

      • Matzah60

        Cat, you were the true winner. I commend you for being brave enough to move cross country. Under any circumstances, that is a big move with big changes. You reinvented your life and as you said, you “gained your soul.” What you did took enormous strength. Bravo to you for taking back your life! 👍

  24. Jill

    My family in Charleston was prepping yesterday & they said the Navy base was going to be closed today. They said it seemed like Hermine was going to hit a bit earlier than 2am tomorrow. They are just getting a little bit of rain right now. I hope all the storms weaken though, on the mainland & in Hawaii. This year has been one for the books!

  25. khaleesi

    Just putting this out there for anyone who might need it:
    I’ve been married to my third husband for 12 years and he’s a PEACH!
    The other two, not so much. I won’t go into how fucktardish they were,
    it would be too long.
    I didn’t make very much money back then, so I would take whatever cash I
    could, without AH#1 & 2 noticing, and hide it in the pockets of winter coats
    in the back of the closets. They were both too lazy/stupid to look there.
    SE Texas, so our winter coats don’t get a lot of use and they’re in the backs of closets
    most of the year. Both times I was able to save enough money to get myself and my son
    a good rent house and pay all of the deposits for everything.
    Just an idea, if anyone is in that position.
    I love you all.

  26. Thank you all again – I can’t express how much it means to me that people took the time to write & to make me laugh.
    My mother is still very ill – she’s had a battery of tests and they can’t determine the cause of her illness – she is still in a coma- like- state. She’s only 74. My heart breaks for my father. My relationship with my mother has been extremely strained for many many years, -it just adds a layer of complication. I still haven’t told my father what’s going on.

    I ventured outside today to a friends house for an hour – it was my first time outside in days and I’m trying hard to stay positive.

    I’ve been sober for almost 24 years and I’m trying to use the tools I was given in AA- I reckon this process will be similar to when I first got sober-terrifying and bewildering but if I choose, I can use this as an opportunity to grow and change, maybe it will be good for me in the end. (trying to be positive-not quite believing it yet – but it sounds good!!)

    I’m hoping my husband will go to a counselor for my son -we had an appointment today and the counselor cancelled it one hour before – so disappointing. I’ve asked if he will go another day and he won’t answer. I’m hoping the counselor will help him see that we must take things slowly-for my son’s sake- that too much rapid change at this age( 12 1/2) will be bad for him in the long run. He’s a very sweet, sensitive kid – a computer nerd who wants to be a film-maker some day. He’s the great joy of my life, unfortunately my husband always resented the time and affection I gave him. I realize now, I should have paid more attention to him but I was wrapped up in taking care of my boy-I never dreamed as an alcoholic that I’d have a child someday-he’s my world.
    I’ve made many mistakes.

    I’ve rambled again-I’ll stop. Thanks so much – it’s made me feel less lonely and alone.

    • tamaratattles

      I am SO GLAD to hear from you, Slice. I’m just walking in the door and haven’t caught up on emails but I sent you one pretty much every day. Does the boy know about the divorce yet or was he going with Dad to the therapist to find out there.

      And ON TUESDAY GO GET A LAWYER. Visit all the expensive ones first to cock block the hubby. xo ~tt

    • Thanks for posting Slice – I’ve been thinking about you and you are in my prayers.

      • Sliceo'pie

        I’ve thought about you too Mary – i’m so sorry to hear about whats happened. I feel your sadness. The abrupt change is so hard and the fact that someone else has made a decision that will alter the direction of our lives without asking is very upsetting – anyway, I find that hard to swallow.

      • tamaratattles

        Did I mention you need to be at the attorney’s office on Tuesday morning? Probably multiple attorney’s offices. Start with the best one in town even if you can’t afford it.

    • Matzah60

      Slice, do not blame yourself that your husband is leaving. I spent over a year going through every scenario thinking if I had said or done something different my ex would have stayed. Leaving is his choice. He may imply or say it’s your fault because it is his way of justifying his departure. Right now you most probably feel terribly wounded. I may be projecting as that’s how I felt. It is hard to be motivated right now, but every movement you make is a step forward. Going to visit your neighbor probably took a lot of energy, but you did it. In the beginning, you have to force yourself to venture out of the house and you are already doing that.

      Tamara is so spot on in her suggestions to @justanothermary. You have to make solid plans with a specific date and time in mind. You have to venture over to a friend’s house. Do not wait for an invite. Friends seem to jump ship when you get divorced. I realized that my so called friendships were not ones I had cultivated, but social friends we had when we went to the movies or out to dinner. That is the nature of the beast, divorce.

      Just try to do something each day that takes you out of the house. Take a short walk. Go to the supermarket. Take it one day at a time. The most important thing you can do for yourself now is what Tamara told you to do; get a lawyer. Every first visit is a free consultation. As TT said, visit the most expensive ones even if you don’t use them. Your only responsibility now is to protect yourself and your son. The best way you can do that now is by getting a shark of an attorney to protect your assets.

      Every day will get easier. Some day you will surprise yourself knowing that your life is much more peaceful and happy without your ex present, just like Cat stated.

    • Miguel

      I’ve been searching for you on every post, except this one, for days, Slice – so happy to know you’re hanging in there!!! Warmest wishes to you yours!!!

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