Well, the honeymoon is over on Married At First Sight, and the happy (and the miserable) couples must now make cohabitation plans. Of course Tom and Lillian will be sent to the bus. Because, Great TV. Let’s hope she has always wanted to be a member to the Partridge Family or something and will think it is just great. I’m not counting on that.
Nick and Sonia
Nick and Sonia each slept at their own place when they returned from their honeymoon. Now it is time for Nick to checkout Sonia’s apartment. Nick wants to live at his place because that is where his dogs live. Sonia is terrified of dogs. Seems like this might have been a good question to ask on the intake forms.
Seeing Nick’s house and his dogs seals my initial feelings that if I were to have to marry one of these three guys it would be Nick. I’ve just seen the yard and I love it already. The house is great. But Nick lets the dogs like his face. Bad habit. Banjo is not allowed to lick or jump on anyone. Me included. These two decide to rent a house of their own. The show will pay their bills on their old places while they will pay the bills on the new place they choose. Usually the show has a few places already selected for them to choose from and they are usually
The Talk About Finances
Sonia doesn’t want Nick to know she is 40K in debt. She tells Nick her credit cards are 11 or twelve thousand. That’s a lie. And the lie she told about her student loans was so quiet I missed it. She claims she makes 43K a year. Nick’s salary fluctuates with an average between 80K and 90k he has about 20K in student loans. She asks what they should pay in rent he says he would not expect her to pay any more than what she pays now. I would totally have lived in that house for him for the six months he was gone. I want that house. #HouseEnvy
Finding a House
Why Sonia? Why can’t we live at Nick’s house?! Fine. At least I’ll enjoy the house hunting I wish I was doing vicariously through you two. Nick says a four bedroom would be enough for them. He’s already talking about kids. The first house wasn’t finished so I already knew that was not where they were going. The second house is totally staged to be very upscale and something that Nick would approve of. This is obviously their house and they both love it. It’s $3,200 a month. Sonia is worried because that is over their budget. I think it includes utilities. I am sure Nick will make up the difference. I think he sandbagged a bit on his salary. Oddly, the exterior at least of this house looks an awful lot like Nick’s house. Did they just restage his house?
Sonia continues to struggle with the dogs. She has two issues. First, due to a childhood trauma where one of her playmates was mauled by a dog, she’s terrified of them. Secondly, she is jealous of his relationship with his dogs. Before Banjo rescued me, I could sort of understand her second issue. However, the solution is simple. She just needs time to fall in love with the dogs. And Nick definitely needs to stop making out with the dogs. Sonia wants to get laid.
Tom and Lillian
Everything Tom says “When she finds out that I live in a Bus..” the “I live in a bus” part is totally a Frankenbite and not even a good editing of a Frankenbite. I wonder why. It seems he has never said the phrase, “when she finds out I live in a bus.” It makes me wonder what he really said when he says, “when she finds out…” Finds out what, Tom?
Tom goes to Lillian’s place first. Her dog loves Tom. That is always a good sign. Tom is glad to see that Lilly’s place is very normal and not a super glam materialistic set up. So they are off to see the bus!
Wow, the kitchen on his bus is a million times nicer than my kitchen. Ha! Lilly just said, “I don’t even have a dishwasher!” Me neither, nor do I have countertops or all of those drawers! Hell, I might move into the bus! Lillian loves the bus! YAY! I love Lillian.
The Talk About Finances
As a Realtor, Lilly’s income fluctuates wildly. She said her average is 60K a year. I don’t believe that an average is really possible in that business. Tom’s income also fluctuates based on contracts. He said for the current year he’s going to make about 60K (interest that he chose to match her exactly) and says he made 72K the year prior. These two did not disclose their debt on camera. However, Tom mentions that Lilly is coming in with a lot of debt. He has concerns joining his business on to her because of that. He asked for a post nup. Lilly wants the romantic notion of the post nup being a sign of lack of trust in the relationship. However, in the case of marrying a stranger, she sees the need and agrees after a bit of editing to show hesitation. I literally think they are trying to edit in points of minor conflict because so far these two are happy as larks and agree on everything. At least she hates the bed. Apparently, it is uncomfortable. While Lilly’s has been a great sport about the bus, they agree to find a shared place to live together.
Finding a House
Lilly wants to wait five years to have kids. I think if this does work out they will have them within two years.
Once again, the second house is the real house. It’s really nicely
staged, furnished and is only $2,000 a month. Banjo and I would LOVE that backyard with the privacy fence.
Oh my Lilly has never cooked before? How is that possible?
Derek and Heather
I feel sorry for Derek every time I see him. He’s totally stoned in this confessional taken the morning that they are leaving. Heather is not longer speaking to him at all. It won’t surprise me if she takes a separate cab to the airport and changes her seat on the plane. Derek is disappointed and hurt. Heather actually lets Derek drive the Jeep to the airport. Once again she runs off and leaves him as he is getting his suitcase out of the Jeep. She has been running away from him at every single turn.
Heather and Derek don’t even make it to the looking at each other’s apartment stage. They head straight in for counseling with the pastor. Frankly, this is a job for Dr. Pepper who needed to be on the first flight to Miami because someone needs to use some words to Heather that the pastor does not allow into his lexicon. Both Derek and Heather sit down and immediately cross their arms and adopt stank faces.
The doctor asks what Heather’s problem is exactly. The editing makes it seem that she started with the flirting accusation but there had to be more in front of that, probably the pot issue, because she is all shouty. It’s seems like she just ran through the laundry list of all of her perceived faults that Derek has. Derek says, “You should leave. Do us both a favor.” It seems like they are doing this the night they return before they even got to go home. Probably not the best timing. The pastor is even getting a little bit…direct in his conversation with Heather. He tells her that no one forced her into this situation. She asked for it, she agreed to it and now she is not doing ANYTHING to participate in the marriage. She says she has reached her limit. It’s been two days of her resisting any sort of interaction with her husband. None. Nada. Nothing. She has not participated at all. She has treated every activity as a solo event. The surfing, the caving, everything. The only interaction she has had with Derek is to rant about her long list of things he isn’t doing right. She’s a self-centered bitch who should not have been paired with anyone.
The pastor sends Derek out to speak with Heather alone. I think he should have done two interviews in the first place and then maybe bring them back in together. He reads her the right act more or less about marriage being difficult and you don’t get to take a break from it. He tells her that she is free to decide here and now that she doesn’t want to be married to him, or she can work on it. He explains that they were matched for a reason and no one is perfect and compromises must be made. He asks her about her responsibility in the situation and she side steps. He finally lets her have a night to sleep on it and Derek returns. Not once have we seen Derek mention any of the myriad of issues we have observed from Heather. What he says is that he knows he is not perfect and he knew that as part of the process he would have to fix things about himself to make him a better person for her. He looks at her when he says this. She does not deserve this courtesy. I still feel seething hatred toward her and this is not even about me. The pastor a bit too subtly states that Heather needs to have that sort of attitude. That is why we needed Dr. Pepper her to hit her over the head with the fact that she has some ugly faults of her own that need dealing with.
The pastor is not thrilled with Heather’s need to “sleep on it.” but he said he is willing to give her a couple of days but he fully expects a decision soon. They do have a production schedule after all. To be fair, all the other couples got to go home from the airport and they are still in the clothes they left on the plane wearing. I do think she needs at least a night to sleep and a day to think about the mess she has made for herself.
Next Week: It seems like Tom may not want kids. But I could have sworn he said he thought she would want them before five years. It seems a bit early to be having this argument. Sonia gets pissy with Nick again. Nick has a very direct way of saying things that don’t really reflect everything he is trying to say, and Sonia is looking for cracks in the relationship so the whole falling in love thing is causing conflict. Simmer down, Sonia. And Heather has to make a decision.
In the aftershow thing, Derek says that he didn’t smoke again on the honeymoon after she brought it up. He’s pissed she never acknowledged that behavior at all. Heather and Derek both talk about finances like everyone else. But once again, they don’t seem to mesh.