Carole Radziwill And Douglas Adams, A Conversation

Douglas adams opinions


Remember when we liked Carole? Back before Aviva showed up and her true personality emerged? Yeah, I can barely get there myself. Carole is one of the more intelligent people ever to agree to do a reality show.  She also vastly over estimates the intelligence of the average viewer and the average housewife on these shows. She doesn’t vary her delivery to best reach her audience.  This week, Bethenny once again produced no blog.  So Carole has resorted to obfuscation of her message via the inclusion of a ridiculous amount of uncredited movie quotes alongside numerous vicious insults toward both Tom and Luann. 

I have decided to respond in kind purple penning entirely with  book quotes from Douglas Adams’, Life The Universe and Everything because it just  seems appropriate. Occasionally, names or genders have been altered in quotes to fit the format.

Well, for a brief shining moment we all thought Luann would pay attention to what the Universe dropped in her lap. She’d learn the lesson, go back to New York and tell TomDickHarry to hit the road. I would be Thelma to her Louise, but with a different ending. She’d bang Brad Pitt and return to New York a confident woman who didn’t take any sh– from any man. Take that TomDickHarry! 

“Well, in a few skirmishes she’s  recently… it seems that she goes into battle, raises her weapons to fire and suddenly thinks, why bother? What, cosmically speaking, is it all about? And she just seems to get a little tired and a little grim.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

learn frm others douglas adams


I mean, they’d only been engaged for a week, right? No kids, no sentimental history together, no property, only one shared closet in a medium-sized apartment, and a few rounds of golf. Instead, she goes back to NY, straight to the mid-sized apartment, gets into bed, wakes up the next day and like a Jedi-eye mind sweep, life hasn’t changed one bit. (Btw, she didn’t check into a hotel that night to get her thoughts together. I’m calling bullsh– on that.)

“I have nothing to offer you” said Tom faintly, “but tricks of the light. It is possible to be comfortable with tricks of the light, though, if that is all you have.”
His voice evanesced, and in the dark a long, velvet paisley-covered sofa coalesced into hazy shape.
… At least, if it wasn’t real, it did support them, and as that is what sofas are supposed to do, this, by any test that mattered, was a real sofa.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

Thing is, Luann has showed us time and time again that monogamy is not something she places a premium on. Why are we not listening? Maybe it is me who hasn’t learned the lesson. She freely admits to stepping out in her marriage, only after her husband did first, but still. Many women would have pulled up their boot-straps, divorced the serial philanderer and made a new life. But Luann is the more, if you can’t beat ‘em, join’em type. I mean, she was living with a man when she met and married the Count. Then, of course, there was the infamous “Pirates of the Caribbean: Housewives Edition.” And let’s face it, TomDickHarry was sucking face with another woman when Luann got him in her “clutches,” — as she ironically described the Regency Bar Playmate.

“You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.”

“Er, five,” said Luann.


“Wrong,” said Carole. “You see?”

― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

But none of this really matters, because Luann is happy. And if Luann is happy, God damn it, we are all happy for her. After all, we are constitutionally guaranteed Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness, aren’t we?“

It’s all right,” she said in a voice which would have calmed the Big Bang down.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

And it doesn’t matter how many times she points her finger at Bethenny for trying to  “ruin her happiness.” Or that she imagines we are huddled in secret conversations, re-casting her betrothed as a piñata. So what that we think TomDickHarry is a sad, lonely drunk; a cheater with as much personal integrity as a martini olive. It simply does not matter.

And you know how I know that? Because when Adam and I got together, Luann had nothing nice to say about it. She trashed our relationship in her blogs and on social media. She called me a pedophile, called him “the help” and even implied he was a cheater. And two years later, having had to live through all of her nasty backstabbing comments, Adam and I are still happy.

“Her capacity for happiness,’ he added, ‘you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe, and Everything

So Luann, don’t worry what other people say about your relationship, the good news is no one can ruin your happiness but you and Tom…

P.S. Whoever can reference all the movie plugs wins a drink at the Regency Bar.

“The Somebody Else’s Problem field is much simpler and more effective, and what’s more can be run for over a hundred years on a single torch battery. This is because it relies on people’s natural disposition not to see anything they don’t want to, weren’t expecting, or can’t explain.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

64 Comments

Filed under Carole Radziwill, Countess Luann, Entertainment News, Real Housewives of New York, RHONY

64 responses to “Carole Radziwill And Douglas Adams, A Conversation

  1. Deb B

    Kudos. I loved her blog and loved your responses.

  2. cammierari

    I still like Carole and and I believe she is being honest where Luanne is closing her eyes to what’s right in front of her face. She blames Bethenny for trying to ruin her happiness-the truth shouldn’t ruin your happiness.

    • Bugsy

      Amen! I put up with an asshole cheating on me because I honestly loved him. Sadly, he had an excellent teacher: his father. Two of his three brothers do the same. I got dumped for his winning Powerball ticket. It’s taken me two years to accept that he’s now her problem, and he will use her until he dies.

    • Dexterpie

      No. Luann knows what she is doing. She has communicated to everyone loud and clear that she knows what she is doing. Bethenny also knows Luanne has her eyes wide open. Bethenny does not want to help Luanne by opening Luanne’s eyes. Bethenny just wants to Shite on Luanne’s parade. Pure and simple. And rat Ramona wants some of that action as does desperate Sonja.

      • librarygirl

        Perfectly said, Dexter. This story has been done to death.

      • Really? Cuz it sure looked like Bethenny dreaded confronting Luanne, and hated the thought of popping her balloon. I believe Luanne knows what she’s doing, and though she really really wants to marry Tom, I don’t believe it’s true love, or that she has found her soul mate, and neither do her friends. Hopefully between the betrothed, they have enough money to live the lifestyle they seem to enjoy, or I fear their happiness will be short lived.
        I really think Sonja has handled the whole thing almost exactly right, and Ramona has been her usual train wreck.

  3. Miguel

    I adored your retort, TT – the mighty purple pen strikes again!!! Tests have shown that suspicious or hostile, they can live a long, long while; tickled to death by their importance… Now there’s a focus group that can prove, this is all nothing but cold calculation.

    And, here’s an easy one: I yelled, “Stop beating that dead horse!”

    P.S. Carole, if you get ALL these references, you win the right to continue to repeat, ad nauseam, what Luann said, two years ago, about you and Adam! (This seems even more childish/ridiculous, when written – I’m embarrassed for you.)

    • Shay 2.0

      Perfect comment, “I’m embarrassed for you.” When I read her blog my first thought was how embarrassed I felt for her family and in-laws. I thought it was childish and silly the first time she used the quip, “Jedi mind sweep'” with Jules about Jules’ eating disorder and here she uses it again? How original for a professional writer/ journalist.

      • Please use Carole’s full title: writer-girl.

      • Dexterpie

        You mean ghost writer girl. Sorry Carole but your “editor” did a lot more than edit that book. Of did you lose your talent as a writer and develop an altogether different style with your second book. The one they were going to make a tv show out of? Carole was an intern. She got some production assistant credits because she was there. It was dating then marrying Prince Radziwill that gave the network a Kennedy Boner for her and let her be a producer. And magazines that hire her had the same Jackie O – Kennedy hard-on. Just like Chealsea Clintons sterling career in television journalism.

      • Shay 2.0

        Lol, duly noted Lady Cocotte! Yes, describing her as a professional is a little far reaching.

      • ericzku

        Yes, because all amateur writer/journalists have three Emmys.

      • Shay 2.0

        All the more reason why writer-girl and her family should/would be embarrassed by this pathetic blog of hers. Too bad she wasn’t under the gun again this year by her editors for her book deal making her unable to write a weekly blog. How’s that going for her?

      • ericzku

        The blog is not “pathetic”. Of course, unlike you, I wasn’t reading it to look for things to feed my confirmation bias.

      • Dexterpie

        I’ll bet you a $75,000 scalamandre silk velvet tiger print fabric that her former mother in law in no way considers her family. Lee is the real deal super snob who forever will be horrified Carole DiFranco got near her gene pool and blue blood. Trust me. Lee thought the KENNEDIES were vulgar. She has no time for Carole.

      • Shay 2.0

        Why say, “unlike you.” No need to make a comparison between us. Feel free to say anything you care to about Carol’s repetitive post about LuAnn. It’s not necessary for you make an assumption about me.

  4. JoJoFLL

    BRILLIANT!!!

    Carole thinks we are peasants and has to resort to pop culture movies so we can understand her.

    What a condescending, asshole blog.

    On behalf of all of the dumb and dumber housewives fans out there, thanks TT!!

    • Dexterpie

      She does not think we are peasants. She just thinks we are uncool and dumb. Not hip and cool and witty like her. And does everyone around her hate her? Why did no one tell her how horrible her hair and dress for the reunion were?

  5. Brilliant, Tamara! I must admit I was completely stunned to hear Luann’s rendition of how Tom was victimized by the blonde in the Regency (who was lurking around waiting to take advantage of the poor man) and how innocent he was. She could make an excellent case for the world being flat – at least in her own mind and if there was enough at stake. Still, despite that, I’m Team Luann all the way. Bethenny is an evil shrew. – every time I think she can’t get any worse, off she goes again. Incredible! I’m so sick of her staccato little voice – each word is like a vicious little stab of a knife.
    Doesn’t she ever watch herself on TV? Doesn’t she see how badly she comes off? Wait, I’m forgetting – she considers herself above all normal rules of social behavior, after all, she has the Truth According to Bethenny on her side.

  6. Matzah60

    Carol is an elitist. She believes that she and Bethenny know best and those that don’t agree with them are not in their right mind i.e. Luann. Her reasoning that the viewers reject her beliefs as the truth is because they don’t have the cerebral ability to understand the facts.

    Carole droned on endlessly about Aviva in much the same manner. Though her cause was different, the rhetoric was the same.

    It is interesting that every blog contains similar dialogue of how Lu called her a pedophile, bashed her on social media, and called Adam a child. Unless you are brain dead, the serial chants about what a horrible person Luann is diminishing whatever message or belief she has about Lu and Tom. Enough already. We know you and Bethenny are totally disconnected from the other housewives and wish to continue the campaign of sabotaging all of them.

  7. tamaratattles

    For the record, I don’t think Lu stayed in that hotel either. She was living with Tom very shortly after filming began and could not film there. Thus the pretend roommate sitch with Sonja and the production purchased hotel room for filming the aftermath.

    • Cleofuss

      Luann did NOT go directly from FL to that hotel room. I specifically noticed she had unpainted nails in their last morning in the FL hotel room and red nails when she checked into that hotel in NYC – which supposedly was the same day. Highly doubt she stopped for a mani along the way.

  8. Christi

    I’m still not convinced that Bethenny and her new man just started dating. I think there was overlap. If it is true then she will look like even a bigger ass than she already does, Carole too.

    • At the Berkshires Xmas gathering, Bethenny told Carole she was dating this guy and he wanted to get married so who knows long she has been dating him.

      Maybe all this hate Bethenny has towards LuAnn is over that “Before They Were Housewives” special. Frankel can’t take not being number one and figures her rags to riches story is more interesting, LuAnn certainly has Bethenny beat in the life experience department and Bravo thought so too.

      • Christi

        Seems odd that a man that has been married for a long time wants to get married again with someone he has just started dating. I know she says they have been friends for a long time but something smells fishy to me….

      • Matzah60

        Spunky215, I truly believe Bethenny was with this man long before he was separated. Bethenny will never admit to that. When someone publicly humiliates someone else and calls them a whore, a liar, and someone who sleeps with married men, I believe it speaks a lot more to Bethenny’s behavior than Lu’s actions. Projection in twisted type of way.

      • Minky

        I must be as dense as a rock, but something about this whole thing doesn’t make sense to me.
        Firstly, I agree with you about Bethenny, Matzah. She’s been seeing her “technically married” boyfriend probably for a while. She’s majorly sore because Luanne’s relationship is getting the attention that she thought hers should have gotten on the show this season.

        I’ll go ahead and guess that this was probably the premise for the “Bethenny Starting Over” show she wanted to do that Andy wouldn’t let her. Bethenny “starting over” with a new man in a new apartment, after having kicked Jason to the curb. She was probably still holding out hope for her own spin-off and Luanne’s engagement derailed that for her. Hence the vitriol and rage, and insistence upon sabotaging Luanne.

        Secondly, I don’t understand where Carole is coming from here. Why is she still caught up on stuff that Luanne said about her so long ago? She keeps repeating this ad nauseum. I understand if she’s offended by what Luanne said. Those are not nice things to say to anyone.

        But, did she ever address this with Luanne directly? If she hasn’t then it’s kind of messed up for Carole to keep at this and not confront Luanne face-to-face. I don’t believe she has the guts to do that. And if she’s endorsing Bethenny’s behavior towards Luanne because she gets a “contact high” sort of revenge from it, then it’s still more pathetic. Kind of chicken shit, if you ask me.

      • PaganChick

        Didn’t Bethenny already have a “Before They Were Housewives” special though? Shortly after she sold SkinnyGirl there was a full special documenting her time driving the then teenage Hilton sisters around, her appearance on Martha Stewart’s Apprentice, becoming a housewife after Jill suggested her to Andy, her rise to popularity on the show, building her brand and finally selling the cocktails to Beam. I think they even talked about her first marriage, her Bethenny Bakes business and all of the other things that led her to her business success.

    • PaganChick

      I’m actually really confused about what the actual conflict is between Bethenny and Luann. There is the theory that B is angry because Luann got the getting engaged story line and Bethenny wanted it for herself. But that is completely at odds with the prevalent theory that Bethenny as one of Andy’s best friends gets to pick and choose what is shown of her life. If she wanted the engaged story line, wouldn’t she have filmed some sort of ramp up to an actual engagement rather than keeping her relationship completely off camera?

      I started wondering if maybe Bethenny was still holding a grudge over the way Luann treated her in the earlier seasons when Bethenny was single and poor and hustling to make money. But, that makes no sense because the two were pretty chummy last season with Bethenny even siding with Luann in the whole “don’t be like, uncool” deal from last year’s trip.

      Which brings me back to the engagement thing. If Bethenny is angry that she didn’t get the engagement story line, could the real issue be that she doesn’t have as much pull with production as she and most viewers thought she did? Because if she is as powerful on the show as many believe, she would have made sure there was some sort of story line around her romance and leading up to an engagement. But it seems like she went out of her way to the opposite of that. It’s confusing and I feel i have wasted way too much time thinking about it. Thanks for indulging me though.

      • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

        I DO think that’s the main source of the conflict, and I never believed Bethenny had as much pull with production as people seem to think. Bethenny wanted her own spinoff this year, Luann stole her thunder. Maybe she did film her new relationship and it’s been edited out?

      • CoBe

        Pagan Chick,

        Although my GUESS is that there is some animosity about the engaged storyline (Bethenny would have liked to have teased a new relationship this season with an engagement AT THE END of the season or next season, but had to wait until the separation was final), I also think that the attacks against Luann are meant to be a preemptive strike.

        Luann knows Jill Shields and Bethenny can’t control what Luann says or doesn’t say. So in order to discredit Luann IN ADVANCE, Bethenny attacked. Now when Luann says she knows something about the marriage and the timeline, Bethenny can pretend that it has to do with Luann “striking back” or out of revenge.

        Also, Bethenny has stated that she has found someone else she would like as a new housewife on RHONY. To do this, she needs to create a vacancy. She began with Jules, who she considered the weakest link. When Jules wouldn’t back down, she targeted Sonja. Sonja fought back and created her own story lines, independent of Berkshires trips or Mexican “vacations”.

        Ramona was also a target, but Ramona becomes so pliable that it doesn’t make for good TV to watch her constantly apologize for having done nothing wrong. Its actually a great survival technique for her.

        So Luann got the crosshairs, for quite a few reasons.

        Bethenny just didn’t expect for Luann to stand quite so strong.

        Or for viewers to support her. I’m guessing even Luann herself was surprised at the amount of support.

        I’m happy to see it. The more people who stand against cruel, vicious treatment of scapegoats, the sooner we will see it stopped or slowed.

        That will be a happy day indeed.

  9. Amy

    Stfu Carole. Enough said

  10. Happy gal

    And while Luanne marches toward the alter Carole is still only dating her boy love w no ring, no living together, not even co Authurship on a book.

    I think we can see who is winning here

    • Minky

      The worst part is that Carole probably thinks that she’s schooled someone with that pathetic excuse for a blog. Sweet Mother of Pearl! Is she full of herself, or what? Her blog still sounds like she’s hittin’ the bong real hard.

      And I cannot stand when someone wants to prove to everybody how smart they are. Wow Carole! It’s so great that you know how to read! And that you allegedly know about culture and shit. Good for you girl! Now, what else ya got?

      @Matzah60 Carole is absolutely an elitist! But it’s pretty clear that she’s just a poser in her little “let them eat cake” world of fuckery too.

      • Matzah60

        @Minky, absolutely. I believe that her connection to the Kennedy family, John John, and Jackie O’s nephew, Tony Radziwell were pretty much unknown by the general public until she got on the HWNY. I will say that, What Remains was a wonderful, yet tragic story of her life.

        I love your use of the word Fuckery! It’s a wonderfully, descriptive word, truly!! 😉 I am loving it!!!

      • Dexterpie

        Anyone within a fifty mile radius of Carole knows in seconds that she is a princess bust shhh she don’t talk about that or her dead best friends John John and carolyn Kennedy. Oh and her dead husband. Who was a prince. And whose mom is Jackie Onassis sister. Shhh! Keep it quiet. BUT ITS TRUE. SHE IS A KENNEDY PRINCESS BUT JUST DOES NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT. so please. Let’s not talk about it. You know. How she is a princess married to John johns cousin.

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      It’s only winning if you believe ANY man is better than no man. I’d certainly rather be alone than with a man who thinks it’s appropriate to make out (and more, I’m sure) with someone else every time we have a fight.

      • Matzah60

        @Yoya, I agree wholeheartedly! Luann is free to live her life how she pleases, but I’d much rather be alone than with a man who is a cheater. Cheaters are liars. Alone is not lonely. It is a much better place to be than with a man you can never trust!!

      • theartistformerlyknownasyoya

        It may take some getting used to but once you’re alone for a while, it can be truly wonderful! Whatever Bethenny et al’s reasons for wanting to tear Luann down, I don’t for a second believe it could possibly be motivated by jealousy over Tom of all men.

    • Hmm. I don’t think Carole wants to marry her boy toy. On the other hand, I think LuAnn really wants to get married (or wants us to believe that she does based on her storyline) even if the guy is a jerk. I think Carole is the one who is winning here.

    • DJFL

      What exactly is Luann winning? Tom is no prize.

      • Minky

        Very few of the men on the RH shows could ever be called a “prize”. Each franchise is populated cheifly by insane, fame whore women, who, if they are married or in a relationship, are attached to dull, greasy flunkies that basically mooch off of them. Some of the few exceptions to this are people like Kyle or Erika in BH.

    • ericzku

      Only if your definition of “winning” is being married or living together. Carole has made it crystal-clear over the seasons that she is not interested in either.

      I mean, I’m single too. I guess in your mind, I’m a “loser”?

      • tamaratattles

        Spinster. :)

      • ericzku

        Well we’re WASPs, so I think the family still goes with “confirmed bachelor” followed by a clearing of the throat. 😉

      • Dexterpie

        No. She has made it clear she fears rejection. She fears commitment. She is an immature selfish fifty something who thinks she’s a quirky twenty something. It’s embarrassing.

  11. Barbara R

    I loved Carole’s blog.

    • librarygirl

      I found Carole’s blog to be both trite and forced. I am thinking that she thought it would come across as witty and smart, but for me it missed the mark. The woman is so bitter that she needs to live under a bridge. What happened to Carole? Why is she spending her precious time being a paid lackey to the certifiably crazy bitch Beth? At this point all I can see when I look are her is a woman who married a seriously ill man who left her a wealthy widow. Have I missed something here?

  12. Cat

    I love this post. Douglas Adams is one of my favorite writers. So are you.

  13. Nicole

    I like Carole. Luann may be happy but dumb for going into this with her eyes closed. I totally with Carole about all the bashing that Luann did and now that she’s “happy”? She wants everyone to be happy for her?

    • Dexterpie

      Carole walked into Luanne’s house and threw herself at someone Luanne considered a kid. Her nieces boyfriend. Hanging out with her son in the kitchen. Luanne had every right to be creeped out and upset.

  14. Sali

    Carole is definitely an elitist as Matzah said above. She really doesn’t seem like a 50-something year old woman to me. Her behavior can be juvenile and it’s disappointing to see her evolve into a mean girl.

  15. Microop

    Carole may be one of the more intelligent people to grace reality tv, but she completely lacks insight. She’s also too weak for this environment. She wines when someone calls her mean, and clearly can’t get over the pedophile comment no matter how many apologies. She just isn’t cut out for reality tv and she’s creepy, annoying, and boring on top of it.

    • Ktina

      Lacks insight is on the money! I don’t care how intelligent she may think she is, she’s still pretty clueless if she really believes this Adam guy is into her for any reason other than she has connections and money. They can’t have much in common.

    • Dexterpie

      She may be the most adept person on earth tv to declare herself more intelligent than everyone else.

  16. Margaret Shepard

    Carole has no storyline this season. A boring boyfriend and a dubious cookbook. Hence let me help B ethanny bash Luann all season.

  17. MaggieG

    Having long ago dismissed all of the HWs shows I wouldn’t normally have had an interest in this post but catching your reference to Douglas Adams made it impossible for me not to read.

    Despite being a writer by profession this blog entry appears to just highlight her insipid mewling. I don’t know or even care if her commentaries on LuAnn are accurate or not. (In fairness, Douglas Adams had a far more colorful cast of characters to comment about.)

    Carole may consider the workings of the Universe as they relate to the mundane but she’s no Douglas Adams when it comes to logical, or even witty, prose.

  18. Suse

    I MUST disagree. Carole is my number 4 (of ALL franchises) with POOR GRAMMAR!! For someone that is supposedly educated and worked as a reporter — and, well, writes cookbooks . . . she is just as dumb as the rest. In my list (I keep count!!), she is above (WAY above!!) Teresa. Cookbooks are a good place for her. Oh,she’s a mean, nasty, and (sorry) ugly, too.

  19. PeachyKeen

    Next Season on RHony?????

    Let’s assume Lu marries TOM.. okay great! So what is next for Lu? Don’t see much?
    Carole and Adam low key and cute.. fine..Bethenny? What’s next for her .. the new man ?
    Ramona ..still “on the hunt”..Sonja…Restaurant TIpsy Girl.. DId or will it open? ANother fail!
    Dorinda ? WHy?; Jules .. that’s so boring.Hope her kids are okay.
    Well when all else fails …Bravo will come up with a trip!

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