Married At First Sight: Honeymoons Part 1: Miscommunication

MAFS Tom

 

Tom and Lillian in Montego Bay Jamaica

Tom and Lillian have consummated their marriage. They both felt like their first time was perfect and special.

These two go for a swim in the ocean. Tom loves Lillian in a bikini.  They do a lot of getting to know you type conversations. They are so over the moon about each other, the first bump is going to be brutal for both of them.

Next, they go play in a small waterfall. Everything is going perfectly. And this is starting to feel like too much too soon to me.

Homework (Pillow Talk ):  It’s unclear if this is their homework discussion or just their regular talks because they ask each other probing questions all the time. But in the course of conversation, Tom says that he is a minimalist in every way.  She doesn’t seem to understand the concept. He says well a lot of people want a lot of things that they think will make them happy, like  a really super nice car. Lilly says, “You know I drive a nice car…” She tells us in confessional that he knows what she drives because he saw it at brunch so he was putting her in that category and it’s not fair. She explains that it is important for her profession to have a nice car to drive her clients around.  Tom is shocked that she is offended as that was not his intention. He says that he thinks she misinterpreted what he said and asks to try again to explain himself. He does and she is completely over it in seconds.

Nick and Sonia in Las Terrenas, Dominican Republic

These two are still awkward and silly. They have not consummated their marriage, but Sonia is thinking about it a lot. She wants to firmly establish their connection first.

They go paddle boarding despite Sonia being a bit fearful of the water. Nick is a lot hotter in more casual clothes. Sonia was a bit better at the paddle boarding.  This impressed Nick. They take a walk on the beach together in their sandals that say “just married” on the soles. It’s kind of adorable.  Later they go horseback riding to a waterfall.  It’s way  prettier than the one we saw in Jamaica.  Was that their first kiss since the wedding? So far so good with these two.  Then they had a romantic dinner at the beach with champagne and great conversation. These two are very happy.  They are cute.

Homework (Pillow Talk ):  The assignment was going well until Nick says something like, “I like where we are at this point,  it is just day five and there is no need to rush anything.” Lillian thinks that him even saying the words “no need to rush things” means he thinks she is rushing him. Lillian needs constant reassurance that things are okay, and they are and Nick would tell her that if he knew that is what she needed.  But Nick is now frustrated. Lillian said that was a weird thing to say. Weird isn’t a good word to use with Nick, so now he is confused and irritated. He ends the homework assignment in frustration. Sonja is butthurt and doesn’t want to be around him. Later they make up and all is forgiven. But Nick took the blame over a misunderstanding. I’m not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.

 

MAFS Derek


Derek and Heather in San Juan, Puerto Rico

Derek is way more positive and into the relationship than Heather. Heather is nit picking him to death and it is only day two. Just get out now, Derek. This will not end well.

Alas they go for a bike ride together. At least they each have their own bike. I almost don’t want to watch this.  Heather takes off and leaves him and rides in a different lane. You can see that the cops are trailing them keeping the traffic off of them. Derek asks if they are trying to race. Heather says no, this is just how she rides.  That is how you ride alone Heather, that is not how you ride with your man.  Derek wants her to slow down and enjoy the scenery. The both come away from the bike ride unhappy. Heather says at this point she doesn’t know what to do.  Hint: Lighten the fuck up! Slow your ass down! Be respectful toward your husband! Stop being so damn critical!  That’s just a start.

Heather walks Derek out to the beach to tell him all the things he is doing wrong.  She starts in on the smoking. It’s still not clear if it is pot or cigarettes. Okay, it’s pot. He says she has been drinking every day since the met. Derek walks off pissed before she can get to the rest of her laundry list.

Derek does a video cam confessional where you can tell he is hurt, but still willing to try.  Heather mellows a bit with some time apart. They come back together with cooler heads. Heather has been to some couples counseling before or watched a lot of Dr. Phil because she responses to Derek’s heartfelt comments about being willing to make changes for his new marriage to work, by reflecting what she heard back to him.  Only she didn’t seem to hear the part where he said he would be willing to change things and only reflected back the part about how conflict is to be expected at this point.  Then she said I can’t believe you would think it was a good idea to smoke pot everyday.  (the edited out the pot part).  Now he is pissed again. He extended the olive branch and she went right back to bitching. So he told her that she can’t get off her high horse and stop judging him every minute. Which is the whole problem here. He says the most irritating part is that he gave her two hours to think and she is still saying the same thing, which means she is not interested in compromise. She responds with , “Well what have you done everyday for the past five days?  I didn’t think I was going to get matched with this!”  He says, “I didn’t think I was going to get matched with an alcoholic!”

I swear to God this woman just repeats herself over and over and over like a damn broken record.  Maybe she hasn’t been to counseling and Lord knows Dr. Phil would have told her that she’d catch more flies with honey.  Why not consider asking him to not smoke as much rather than beat him over the head about hit repeatedly?

Homework (Pillow Talk ):  Um noe. These two didn’t get that far.  They were too focused on trying not to kill each other. 

64 Comments

Filed under Entertainment News, Married At First Sight

64 responses to “Married At First Sight: Honeymoons Part 1: Miscommunication

  1. How do you know it’s pot? I totally missed it and i’ve watched it twice. Ugh! I hate that I missed that.

    • Victoria

      Kinda obvious it’s about weed. She said something like it’s not how she was raised. It’s against her beliefs etc.

      Derek and I would be bff’s. We could smoke pot together everyday lmao

    • The balcony scene toward the end of the show, she’s saying something about smoking __ot… they left in just enough of the word to understand the conversation.

    • Trashbox

      I was totally confused until he said smoking is better than alcohol or something. That has to be pot, no one would say that about tobacco. Then her extreme reaction made more sense. Seems pretty extreme to smoke weed every day, or even at all, when you know you are going to be on a nationally televised date the first days you met your wife.

    • I totally missed it & I live in the pot capital of the country! Now I’m even more in love with Derek…

  2. Theresa

    I can’t stand heather at this point. I didn’t like her on marriage day but she seemed so much more approachable the next day that I kind of liked her. Yeah, I hate her again. She’s uptight. I was so sure that Tom and Lillian were going to make it to the end (way too early I know), but now I think that when they get to reality, it’s going to implode. They may be a great match but I’m not sure they have similar enough lifestyle values.

    Nick and Sonia… she seems so insecure. I wonder how I would handle this situation of marrying someone at first sight and I am 100% I would be an abject failure. Then to do it with cameras present…. ugh

    • hokiechick

      A big part of the problem is that she grumbled about this for a few days before she said anything to him, but when she finally did confront him, she couldn’t move forward toward something productive to make the situation better. She just wanted to beat him over the head repeatedly about how badly he had already screwed up and how that is not the kind of person she wants. She never offered any compromises – agree to just smoke on weekends, or every other day for the rest of the honeymoon, or never around her…whatever. By the time she brought it up, it was only accusatoryjudgmental and not at all constructive.

  3. Heather is so judgmental she will never find a man.
    Lillian is acting fake to me. She’s high maintenance for sure and Tom is not. This will be an issue down the road.
    Sonia is being smart by not jumping right in. I think this maybe the only couple to make it this season.

  4. Tika

    I’m uncomfortable watching Lillian and Tom because it doesn’t seem real plus it seem so rushed and way too lovey dovey. Relax get to know each other more. I cant stand Heather and the show just started. Derek is so chill oh god please don’t let this be another Sam and Neil from last season.

  5. tamaratattles

    Derek tweeted me that he liked the post! He’s probably the only one. : )

    • Meredo

      How cool, I love Derek! I feel he got burned being matched with someone as negative as Heather. I can’t stand to watch her with her pessimistic attitude; such a downer to his optimistic one.

      • Shay

        Feel like Heather thinks she is way more attractive than she is. She’s the new Ashley.

      • Allison

        oooo-good comparison with Ashley-who-isnt-as-hot-as-she-thinks. Heather def exudes this “I’m better than you and this” attitude thus far, and doesnt seem open to the process, much like Ashley wasnt.

      • Lady_Bug

        I totally agree with comment that Heather is the new Ashley… YES!!

    • That’s nice! :) I feel bad for him getting such a bitter mate. I hope it gets better for him, but not holding my breath.

  6. pc in kc

    Lillian is a little fake. Very actressey and immature. Annoying. I like Sonia and Nick best. Just hope her insecurity doesn’t ruin things. If Derek is smoking pot, where the hell did he get it? Did he bring it to PR in his luggage? Buy it on the street?

    • Shay

      I bring weed everywhere because most places in the states the airport is federal and with a medical prescription the most they do is take it away. And that’s never happened. Even having all my belongings out on the table at TSA and even with drug dogs. I’m pretty sure drug dogs don’t smell for pot anymore. Allegedly. Don’t get locked up abroad and blame me, though:)
      Also, people use weed for different things. Many use it for anxiety, pain or sleep. Same reasons some people use alcohol. An avid marijuana user will never bow down to someone who drinks alcohol or smokes cigarettes.

  7. Allison

    I love Lillian and Tom-I think shes just giddy and really hopeful.But like TT says, the first bump will be a deep low. At this point I’m rooting for them. I was SO CONFUSED about the smoking argument, at first I thought Heather was talking cigs, and I thought, is she really THAT uptight? But she’s gotta be talking about weed. Still uptight though-I feel like she might be a tough nut to crack and Derek is in for a long road, shes been sort of judgey, nitpicky, and well, bitchy. When Sonia got upset with Nick over him saying he didnt want to rush things, she jumped the gun. Chillllll-deep breath-he wasnt saying youre rushing. She needs so much reassurance. Even on the wedding day “he didnt say I was pretty, does he not think I’m pretty? Maybe he doesnt think I’m pretty”….agggghhhh

  8. Rose

    Nick and Sonia are my favorite couple and I’m pulling for them. He is gentleman and hottie. I didn’t like Heather from the beginning and still don’t like her. On the MAFS Unfiltered show they talk to family and friends but interestingly there was no one there for Heather and her scenes on the other after hours show were by herself. I still believe Tom and Lilian will crash and burn. I can’t wait to see her face when she sees his bus house!

  9. Arizona

    POT ?!?! LOL I had no idea!! i’m going to re-watch now with this knowledge.
    Y’all are awesome!

  10. Christine

    It is for sure pot, not cigarettes and because of that I do not think she is overly nit picky. From his view- pot is normal and acceptable since it is in his circles, for her it is not. Plain and simple, just not a good match. Experts fail again. I would be livid if my match was a pot smoker so can totally see her pov.

    • Allison

      I agree-thats kind of a basic lifestyle difference, pot smoker v non- and a dealbreaker for some on either side. Unless he wasnt forthcoming with the experts that he smokes, they really messed up with that one.

    • Shay

      What if they had chronic pain and ate pills of weed? Is that worse than oxycodone? Alcohol people are so judgy;)

      • Trashbox

        Oxy also isn’t a great choice for going on national TV or meeting your spouse for the first time either, IMO. Maybe it worked for yours?

    • But she said it was okay for occasional smoking. If she had said absolutely not, that would be a different story imho.

    • Trashbox

      Even if she were cool with it, she probably wouldn’t want to admit that on national TV, because of her career. She probably has very serious drug testing. This isn’t just smoking pot, this is smoking pot while filming a TV show.

  11. Buttercream

    TT – great re-cap …love your sense of humor.
    L&T – all I can think is when she sees their new home ..”the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round … She will come to a full stop, pull the plug and get off the bus!
    S&N – She’s a lot of work .. lots of talking and shaving her edges of insecurities if this relationship is going to work..
    H&D – what is there to say .. sad to watch if things don’t turn around stat .. relationship is on code blue at this point ..

  12. While I don’t like the chick, I agree thar the guy shouldn’t be smoking pot everyday. I would be pissed too. How are u supposed to get to know someone if they are high the whole time?

  13. Shay

    I really feel like they don’t even try to match people. I think if they did try, the show would still have drama and be fun like any other matchmaking show.

    TT, please tell me you’re up for 90 Day Fiance. I was looking forward to MAFS4, but I’m hyped about 90DF4!

    • Lindsey

      Yes! 90 Day Fiance is one of my favorites. Such a train wreck!

      • Shay

        Looks sooo good and they have a spinoff feat Danielle and Mohammed! She’s trying to deport him!

      • Allison

        @Shay Ugh, Danielle was THE WORST. Blind as a bat to see Mohammed just wanted a ticket to the US. Saying he couldnt kiss her because the 3rd blue moon wasnt in the right quarter and Santa had to get permission from the Easter Bunny (he just had BS excuses) but the real reason was, he couldnt stand her. Everyone could see it but her. She was warned over and over, but just wanted the young pretty thang and that was that. So she deserves him. Deport him-pfft. She isnt the brightest bulb in the batch, bless her heart.

  14. I really liked what Dr. Pepper said before the “discussion” Derek and Heather had on the balcony.

    “In conflict resolution you don’t go for the other person. The problem isn’t the other person, the problem is the problem. You both work together to solve the problem.” That’s a great perspective to have.

    • Deirdre

      Dr Pepper’s advice re “problems” was awesome advice, but why did they match someone who fears dogs with a guy with a pit bull, a woman who comes from and wants a large family with an introvert on a bus, and Stoner with Bossy?

    • Amber

      Yes, and all the couples have a major conflict. But to stick Heather with a drug addict is beyond any sense of reasonably IMO.

      Derek was obviously high throughout every bit of video we’ve been shown, thus far, with the possible exception when he went off on Heather screaming expletives. Or, he’s smoked so much in past that his face is now frozen into an idiot Cheech & Chong look.

      Someone that smokes “occasionally” smokes once or twice a year, not once or twice a day or even week.

      Hey Derek, here’s some free advice. If you are sincerely looking, attend NA meetings. Thus, either you’ll embrace recovery or meet up with someone who isn’t so particular about you living with addiction.

  15. KatherineNola

    I Have to start watching this show! Great recap!

  16. Karen A

    OMG! He smokes pot! Big deal! I’d rather have him do that than drink, pop pills or heavy drugs. Stop judging Derek! He may have been high during all the filming but no one knew until miss high and mighty decided to bitch about it. He’ll probably never quit, will just become a closet smoker. I highly doubt they will make it.
    I like Nick and Sonia but she can be a little whiney. Low self esteem – probably why she is still single, old bfs probably got tired of her.
    Tom and Lillian – I like them and I think she’ll be okay with the bus, at first. I see a future with them but in a house.
    Great recap!

    • Amber

      Since when is today’s pot not a heavy drug? Since when is a frequent smoker of pot not a drug addict? Seriously.

      • Karen A

        Amber – do you keep up on current events????? They are legalizing it in some states and probably all states in the near future. It’s a plant for God’s sake! It is not a heavy drug! We don’t know if he smokes it for medical reasons. He’s obviously not a closet smoker and no one knew he was even high until Heather brought it up. Unlike someone getting drunk, you know they are drunk!

      • Shay

        Pot is like alcohol (but better medicine). You can take a little or a lot. Smoking once a day may last 10 minutes to and hour and a half. Like a shot of alcohol. Its not as nefarious as you think. Many people have medical prescriptions from doctors. I’m sure you’re anti cancer meds, too, then? I donate edibles at my medical dispensaries for patients who can’t afford it or can’t make the trip (very sick, elderly). No one has ever died from marijuana, no raging fights and very little driving.
        I have a brain tumor and excruciating pain, nausea, vomitting. You wouldn’t question someone needing pain meds, sleep meds, etc? You’re putting a blanket over everyone because of your thoughts on stoners. Stoners are our drunks.

      • Brentjohn

        Let’s just call you Heather!

    • CoBe

      It is a big deal to some people. It should have been disclosed if he was going to spend every morning smoking it.

      If he was using it for medical purposes, he would have stated such. As it is, any decent person would have stopped after realizing his new wife didn’t like it.

      On a political note, I am in favor of medical marijuana, but only in pill or edible form. If someone needs it, great, but they don’t get to force others to smell it or breathe it.

      • Allison

        @CoBe I’m with you, I’m all for medical marijuana in oil, pill or edible form-I personally cant stand the smell, and if I were to be set up with a daily smoker it wouldnt work. At all. She’s clearly not down with it, and I’m not sure if he cares. If I were Heather and my new husband was getting high every day, it’d be a red flag-just as if she was getting drunk every day.

    • Trashbox

      I’m actually cool with occasional use, but getting high every day is not most people’s version of normal behavior, and I would be pissed too if I were trying to get to know someone.

      Filming on national TV with someone high would be a nightmare to me. It would be like being the sober person around drunk idiots, only on national TV and you just married this guy.

    • Lyn McCoy

      Smoking pot is a deal deal and a dealbreaker for a lot of people. There is no way I would date or marry someone who smokes pot

      • tamaratattles

        Neither would I Lyn. HOWEVER, Heather was asked in her intake information and she said she was fine with “occasional pot smoking.”

        PS New Recap is coming. I have a lot of coding and back end sitework today, but I am very excited to watch the latest episode.

        Don’t spoil me, Bro! :)

  17. Theresa

    I’m wondering if Heather’s issue with pot is the fact that she should be getting regular drug tests as a flight attendant. Not sure if all airlines do, but I knew several thay definitely do

    • Amber

      Honestly, I don’t care if someone smokes a little pot — likes once in a blue moon, but continuously is not acceptable. The guy is a 35 year old grown man — what’s up with lighting up morning to night unless it’s a habitual problem? Also, saying because it’s vacation is complete BS. People wear a masks when first meeting. If he’s comfortable being this fucked up when trying to make a good impression, that’s a solid indication of what he does at home all the time.

      • CoBe

        I agree, Amber. If he can’t even wait until he is alone and not on his honeymoon, he has a problem. If he were in control, there would be no problem–he’d simply apologize and offer not to do it around her.

      • tamaratattles

        Who the hell said he is smoking morning to night? Not even stick up her ass Heather said that. I am not a fan of pot, and don’t particularly want to date people who smoke it, but I am certainly not on the tirade about it you are on. Sounds like you have some sort of personal issue with it.

  18. Liza

    Pepper said Heather said occasional use was ok. That’s why she is mad that he’s doing it every day. I see his point though, he’s on vacation, letting lose, surely she doesn’t drink like a fish everyday

  19. Arizona

    I think someone needs to pass that cigarette to Heather. She needs to lighten up.

    And yes I do beiieve there is a compromise here…it’s the one where everybody lightens up.

  20. Cat

    I can’t wrap my head around the concept of this show.

    Marriage is hard enough when you know the other person. Who would marry a total stranger? And why?

    Marriage is like a legal roach motel. Easy to enter, hard to escape.

    That being said, I can see why Derek is resorting to smoking pot. He needs an escape from Heather. What a nag!

    I wanted to light up just reading about her complaints.

  21. zipped123cat

    Derek is cute. I wish that Heather would behave in a more feminine manner around him. Sonia and Nick have as much sexual chemistry as brother and sister and to watch them kiss mankes me very uncomfortable. Lillian is dreamy eyed but come on girl – having sex with a guy youve known for 3 days ?? Well I guess the sexual energy was explosive between them.

  22. JKR

    Bahahah. I just watched the unfiltered show and when they asked Derek who he would cast to play his wife, he said “Kathy Bates.” Oh, that was too good. I’d say things are going great for those two.

  23. lavidaLinda

    I must say that I find it very telling that in the horrible pre- and post interview shows that Derek and friends sit on the couch and chat happily with Jamie, whereas not a single friend or relative is there for Heater and she herself is clearly at another location and they awkwardly edit in Jamie smiling in the set everyone else seems to be able to find.

  24. Bonnie

    Heather is an uptight , very judgemental bitch , who is NOT as attractive as she thinks she is, and has a puss on like she’s been sucking on a sour lemon most of the time ; appears, ( note appears) , to drink a bit too much ..If DerekTRULY is smoking pot everyday he needs to knock it off , excessive. No go for those two imo. What to say about Lillian and Tom , oh boy, ugg. I don’t see it working , hopped into bed too fast , married or not. For me it’s a little too much sickeningly sweet. Also he imo is lying by omission by NOT telling her by now that he lives in a bus! Not fair would be a huge deal breaker for this older chick. Man up Tom and spit it out for God’s sake. It is what it is . I think they could all do with some growing up and maturity , but I’m an older woman (62) and of course hindsight is 50/50 and believe me I have learned from my mistakes in life. One really does come into some wisdom as you get older. But I must add , I was not as immature in my late twenties and early thirties , thank God. I had two children to put first and you grow up real fast, if you put your children first ; which is an absolute must for me. No I’m far from perfect. Still learning everyday , which is a joy to me. But if I’m not sure how to solve a problem I talk about it with my husband of 29 years. Together we try and find a solution ; maybe one or the other just agree to disagree , but progress is made. And relationships are never 50/50. That’s a myth from another decade. Nick doesn’t say much and Sonia is an insecure young 32, or whatever age, close enough. They could probably benefit from premarital counseling. They are technically married , but really in name only. She will most likely drive him away with her blatant insecurity. He doesn’t know how to talk to a woman. He seems helpless on how to help each other along. It’s difficult enough when two people have been together and know each other well. Marriage IS work , make no mistake about it. Show is somewhat entertaining, and I’m hopeful for them , so I watch. Take it for what it’s worth to you, throw out what you don’t agree or do agree with, or take it with a grain of salt. Not sure this show is such a good concept. I like Dr. Pepper. She’s also a pretty wise older woman. Not sure how she got herself involved in this show, but I think she has a lot to offer. Just my opinion. Gram B.

    • Tamara G

      Wise and insightful summation of the show and participants thus far… I enjoyed reading very much.
      PS – I can hardly stand to watch… Just her face makes me want to throw my remote at her… Heather is a bitch. No other way to describe her – and that’s me being nice. Ughhh

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