Real Housewives of Melbourne Recap: Here Come The Brides!

RHOMelb  Season 3 Cast new girl is Susie
We start back at Gamble’s “invitation party” after Pettifleur declines to accept her invitation. I don’t get Gamble’s weird reaction to Pettifleur’s little stunt. All the ladies go in on Pettifleur as if she has committed some great sin.  Gamble is having some sort of breakdown. Maybe it is the stress of wedding planning.  Suddenly, Gamble is apologizing to Petti, and Petti is milking it for all it is worth. The crying is contagious and Lydia randomly decides to attract attention to herself. It works.  And as a bonus, it pisses off Susie.


Gina goes lingerie shopping with Gamble for her wedding night. Gamble really does have a rocking body.  The black ensemble doesn’t fit her boobs, but the white one was super hot. She buys $2,000 work of lingerie.


Brian, Janet’s ex-husband,  is in her kitchen wearing one of those woman in a bikini aprons. He’s about to learn the wonders of the wok. I am a cast iron skillet girl but since I bought my wok I use it for all kinds of things. It’s super easy to clean. Janet is going to have the first family dinner since they divorced.  Janet is highly confused about what gender reassignment means. Janet says she has been diagnosed with PTSD since her son was severely burned. I have all of the symptoms she is describing.  Janet’s house is very middle class in appearance. Brian apparently cut off his finger into whatever it is he made. Ew. He literally put blood, sweat and tears in there. The PTSD is the reason that she was avoiding her stepkids. She was avoiding everyone because she was dealing with her son’s traumatic burns.



Gina comes over to Lydia’s to talk to her about Susie.  Gina says that she vented to Susie about Lydia two seasons ago when Gina and Lydia were at odds.  I’ve got to zip through this to get back to the Big Brother feeds. Things are seriously blowing up.  I’m going to zip through this Susie starts dating and chats with her boys about it crap. Ditto, the Janet goes on a date scene.

Chyka’s Bridal Shower for Gamble

All the ladies are told to wear their wedding dresses. I’m not sure that Petti is actually wearing her wedding dress. Oh wait, yes it is, the stole just disguised the top of the dress a bit.  Did Jackie get a boob job? Her boobs look huge in her confessionals.

Gamble is emotional again. She is crying a lot this episode. This time it is about Luke’s mother who has passed away and how she now considers herself Luke’s mother.  She is sad that she doesn’t have children of her own.  Chyka is wearing a dozen white roses on the top of her head. It’s very Phaedra Parks.  Susie takes this special occasion to share the story of one of her kids, or stepkids having some sort of terrible accident. Then Petti jumps to tell us that she has been married twice but her father never walked her down the aisle.  Everyone is crying about each others sob stories. Janet tells a funny story (thank God) about how Brian never proposed to her and didn’t want to get married. She booked a church and told him when to show up, or they were done. He showed up.

Lydia and Susie have a chat about why Susie is so angry with her. Lydia denies saying anything about her during her divorce. Lydia is wearing the most appalling earrings during this conversation making it very difficult to focus on this conversation. I blame my PTSD. Or perhaps it’s Lyme disease.  I’m not sure if Lydia and Susie are pretending to be made up, but they don’t seem to be.  I if they have a peace treaty, I don’t think it will stick.  Petti asks Lydia if they can get together and talk soon.

Next Week: It’s almost time for the wedding, but the beach wedding is rained out and for some reason Gina has to leave.


Filed under Entertainment News, Real Housewives of Melbourne

21 responses to “Real Housewives of Melbourne Recap: Here Come The Brides!

  1. Joanplus2dogs

    This is definitely my favorite hw franchise. I like the wedding dress party though I wished Gina had come. I thought Pettifleur dress suited her & was quite nice except for fur. Lydia’s was nice for a 2nd wedding but those earrings!! They must weigh a pound a piece & totally unnecessary with that dress. Not surprising Susie’s did not impress & looked uncomfortable.

    Not a Janet fan & I know it is part of the show but that PTSD announcement was crap. All the family members knew what happened to her son & how much she was involved with his care rather than spending time with them. Imagine how guilty he feels for causing his family all this stress & how much he has suffered thru then his mom saying oh I have PTSD from this to the whole world. Really did not need to use her child accident to promote herself on reality TV. Sad.

    • tamaratattles

      I’m quite sure Janet has PTSD from her son almost dying in a fire. If anything would do it, it’s that. She was traumatized and didn’t have the energy to reach out to anyone.

      • Joanplus2dogs

        I don’t doubt she has it, any parent would. She just didn’t need to announce it. Her family & friends went thru it with them, it wasn’t a mystery that needed explaining. He wasn’t secretly sick & had been on the show a number of times during the healing process.

      • Barbara

        Your comments are repugnant and soulless. Her son’s near death experience was horrific and getting divorced at the same time because your husband is a douche was a double dose of grief. You need to go to Oz and buy a heart.

    • 3Sweeties

      You are so right Joan. No one should try to work through their problems by talking about them with their family. What a bitch!

    • Auntie Velvet

      Joan, she was trying to explain why she didn’t stay in touch with the stepchildren, even after her son didn’t need the day to day care. I imagine she let a lot of relationships slide after the trauma, but her family was the one most deserving of an explanation. PTSD is more far-reaching than just getting the sweats when you hear a loud noise.

  2. This was a great episode, I really enjoyed it and I needed a fun crazy escape tonight.

  3. Jessica White

    Jackie is pregnant which probably explains the big boobs. These women are all crazy in different ways, and together they are a shitstorm, and I love it!

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      I don’t think she was pregnant during filming though. This season aired months ago in Australia…

      • Jen

        They usually film the talking heads after the season has wrapped. That’s why they’re always wearing the same one or two outfits in all the episodes.

      • tamaratattles

        Actually, that is not true. Talking heads are filmed during the filming season as well as at the end. As soon as they have a rough idea of the first few episodes, they do confessionals on those, and so forth. Then at the end they do confessionals for anything they need sound bites for.

  4. Liza

    I missed a few episodes when the show started. I appreciate the recaps! I think something is off with Lydia and Susie. Lydia acts like she barely knows Susie. Susie said they have been friends for 30 years? Lydia even said “did I even know your husband” this doesn’t pass the sniff test. I think Susie has dirt on Lydia and Lydia is disassociating. Am I. Close or was this already known in episodes I missed?

    • Katherine 2.0

      Susie and Lydia have known “of” each other for 30 years. I doubt they were friends. The show is implying that Susie has dirt on Lydia, a “switch the bitch” strategy for RHOM. Last year they brought on a new girl, Gamble, and some of the current cast, mostly Janet, was shoveling the dirt on her story.

  5. Anica

    I need to rewatch this as I was distracted while it was on, but I did norice the horrendous make up plastered on their faces, awful!! And hair as dry as straw, hairsprayed to hell.

  6. Just me

    Imagine how wonderful it would be to have Chyka as a friend .. she just seems like such a genuine, salt-of-the-earth type of person (her husband gives me the heeby jebbies, however). I absolutely love Chyka’s home, too – out of all this lot her lifestyle seems the most enviable (well, to me anyway).

  7. Barbara

    Love Janet this season. She is beautiful. I get her and I hope she finds love again. I want to like Lydia, I really do. But she is a bore and silly and vapid. Nothing going on there. She and Petit are well matched. Totally self absorbed, shallow and materialistic. Gamble is a hoot and we all love Chyka. Those two are girls’ girls. Gina, come back love. Not sure what is happening with Susie, she seems sad. But I have to say, I see where she is coming from about Lydia. There is more to that story because they aren’t even close with their descriptions of their shared history.

  8. charlottebrown

    Your recap of the episode is quite flat given how delightful it was. I think this is the absolute BEST franchise out there…. the women are actually nice to each other and don’t get stuck on the trivial grudges that seem to permeate the other shows (ie: Limegate). It was really great to see Gamble and Pettifleur reconcile after what usually would be on a Housewives show, mega drama (ie: Eileen). Janet has won me over this season – her family dinner was an awesome scene and I love her husband. It was unscripted and the emotions were real. It put her past craziness into perspective. I adore Chyka’s house and love her style and creativity. Gina is a hoot and totally awesome. Gamble has grown on me – I like seeing the vulnerable side of these women and she seems to be quite genuine although I really think she needs to give a the botox a break – her face does not move at all. Lydia is playing the dumb card but I think is actually quite smart. She more than anyone, seems to act out and stage her scenes…. can’t wait to see what Susie has on her. I want to like Pettifleur but after watching the painfully raw scene with her sister, I realize she is broken inside and needs to find some humility and peace.

  9. Forbes List

    OMG Tamara- My aussie friends just alerted me there are two new franchises coming to the Housewives forum- NZ and Sydney- NZ even has a black cast member (former model Michelle), with the exception of Jules and Kim, the cast for each city tend to be all the same race. So im sooo super excited to check this out and see how this plays out. Sydney girls seems to be a delightful combo of OC/BH level rich/trashy, but the NZ girls seem to be a combo BH/Melbourne rich. I hope they cross over to american fans like RHOM has!

    • Just me

      NZ starts here (I’m from New Zealand) next Monday on Bravo – not sure when it will air in Oz, the US and everywhere else.

  10. Jaded

    Lydia is like LVP. Their negativity doesn’t stick.

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