Bachelor in Paradise Recap/Discussion

BIP Cast

Okay the sex scene with Grant and Lace was epic reality tv production. As we listening to all the moans and groans we watch different pairs of hermit crabs screwing on the beach culminating in the crashing of the ocean waves. Then we cut back to the couple in bed as they discover that the blanket Lace put over the camera had fallen off.

Sarah and Izzy ( Who is she?) both like Vinnie. Vinnie kissed them both before the rose ceremony. One of the twins and Jubilee are both vying for Jarrod’s rose. Amanda and another chick who looks just like her both want Nick. One of the two lookalikes is clearly bat shit crazy.  Nick tells batshit crazy girl he is giving his rose to Amanda.

Bat shit crazy girl moves on to the next guy (Daniel) who seems like a weirdo too. Daniel thinks if he decides just to bang someone tonight, it would be one of the twins. Either one.

Evan is head over heels for Carly, but Carly said he was a really bad kisser.  Evan saw fireworks when he kissed Carly. Poor Evan.

BIP Josh and Nick
Jared, who has all the girls drooling for unknown reasons, chooses the twins. WHY? If Jubilee goes home I will be so disappointed. Mostly because she is the only one I remember from her season.  Vinnie choses Izzy (who?) over Sarah. This makes me happy. weirdo Daniel picks Sarah. That means that we lose Jubilee AND the bat shit crazy girl (Apparently her name is Leah). The guys could not have possibly made worse decisions. Both of the girls cried and vented their low self-esteem all the way home.

We add another douche dude to the group in the form of Josh Murray. Josh was a douche on Famously Single. He just loves being on TV. Nick and Josh are both going to fight over Amanda.  Unfortunately, Josh also likes leaking stories to TMZ so they have been posting spoilers. Let’s leave those off this site, though.  I just now am remembering all the shenanigans Nick got into on Andie’s season.  No woman should be interested in either Nick or Josh. And Amanda has kids!

Evan is completely lovestruck by Carly. Carly is not attracted Evan. She implies in her confessional that Evan might be gay. She hides from him all day. Evan gets the gate card and invites Carly. She reluctantly agrees. There date is a world record challenge for the longest Habanero kiss. So ridiculous.

It looks like tomorrow night, Evan, Daniel, and Nick are all in trouble. Who will Carly save?


Filed under Dumbasses, Entertainment News

12 responses to “Bachelor in Paradise Recap/Discussion

  1. I really suspect that Evan has been set up by producers to have a spectacular crash and burn. The guy really deserves better than what he’s getting on this show. At least the production made sure to punish Carly with that Habanero kiss. The previews for next week that show Evan going after Amanda… That’s going to get dark. Evan needs an airlift. This is not the right place for him.

    • I can’t understand why he would be going after Amanda when there are already two guys in a battle for her. Josh only wants her because Nick likes her. They are both douchebags and I am pissed that this show is forcing me to root for Nick. Argh!

      The single mother always seems to get screwed over by the guys on this show.

  2. Meri

    Bring back Chad. At least he made no bones about being an actor and a villain. The rest are disgusting. I felt like I was watching soft (shell) pron with Lace and Grant. Evan is being made to look like a fool and I feel badly for him. This show is a farce and should be viewed that way.

  3. Meri

    Sorry..PORN, not pron!

  4. Happy gal

    Amanda sure has gone from a sweetie to an insensative jerk

  5. Josh was terrible on Famously Single but, wow, he sure upped the douche factor last night. How can any girl find him attractive? So gross.

  6. Navymommy

    I have watched two episodes of this show because of you TT and it is epicly horrendous. Coming from a self-confessed Bravo reality show whore, that’s pretty bad. These people are a complete waste of oxygen. I will definitely read your recaps but cannot subject myself to another view. FYI, I have never watched The Bachelor, thank God.

  7. I’m upset that Jubilee went home. She deserves to find love. it m holding on to hope that there will be some kind of twist that brings her back because the producers feel the same way. Highly doubtful, but you never know.

    I’m glad Daniel picked Sara. He’s always acted so obnoxious, but this episode they showed him being a decent human being. Now I’m curious about him. I know he just came there to have a good time and isn’t to invested in this whole thing. He even defended Chad.

    He reminds me of the guy last year that saved a girl last year because she was being treated so shittiky. Sorry, I can’t remember either ones name. But that guy was kind of Ricky also, but he did the right thing. He was the single father.

    I love Carly’s commentaries but she can get mean at times. She got screwed over last season when the guy sdsdhe liked dumped her. She has a bad picker.

    I think Jared picked the twins because the producers told him to. Also, we have crying Ashley coming back, I believe. Jared is probably aware of that and doesn’t want the drama that would occur between Jubilee and Ashley. He just there for the vacation also.

  8. I wanted to add that when Izzy showed up, everyone asked who she was, too. So, we aren’t the only ones who didn’t know. I think someone said she was one of the girls who left the first evening on the Bachelor Ben season.

    No clue why they would bring her back. They must have something good planned for her.

Please Read the COMMENTING RULES before commenting.