The Bachelorette

THE BACHELORETTE - “Episode 1210” - Season Finale - JoJo survived being blindsided last season after Ben Higgins told her he loved her, but proposed to Lauren Bushnell instead. As heart-wrenching a rejection as that was, she decided to take a risk for a second chance at finding love with one of 26 intriguing bachelors. After surviving shocking twists and turns and a journey filled with laughter, tears, love and controversy, JoJo narrowed down the field to two men – Jordan and Robby. Now, she finds herself in love with both of these captivating men and terribly torn between them. She can envision a future with both bachelors, but time is running out, on the Season Finale of “The Bachelorette,” airing MONDAY, AUGUST 1 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Matt Klitscher) ROBBY

(ABC/Matt Klitscher)

I hate her.

I hate her so much.

I have nothing else to say.

She wants to marry a scumbag who will never marry her. So that makes me feel better. That is what she deserves.

He is so full of shit. He is a horrible man. I REALLY hate him. He blocked her from so many great guys. And she had to tell him to get down on one knee. He is a terrible man and terrible person and she deserves him  for being a piece of shit,!



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33 responses to “The Bachelorette

  1. My thoughts exactly TT

  2. ktwallis

    It almost feels as though she was also full of shit and just picked the easiest one to break up with in the future and still look good? I mean, I just can’t believe she didn’t see through his horseshit from day one.

    Robby was only slightly better.

    Luke or Chase would have at least had a shot at a real relationship. At least Luke will get a chance as the Bachelor (my guess, they made such an effort to make him look way too good all season).

    • ktwallis

      I’m on the west coast and haven’t actually seen the ending yet… but I’m guessing she picks Jordan. They are both terrible. Only minutes away!!

  3. Deb B

    I thought it was very telling when she cried to her parents. She WANTED Jordan, probably in part because he was more elusive.

  4. 25

    I only saw the finale. They both sucked, neither seemed to like her much, so she picked the more famous one. Made sense to me. I also laughed hard at both being former athletes. How many guys did she start with? And she narrowed it down to 2 unemployed guys?! I hope she at least had a job so they had 1 between the 3 of them.

  5. tamaratattles

    I really liked Robby. And Luke, and I get this is all bullshit. But maybe I am projecting, okay I am projecting… but we always pick the Jordans. Why do we always pick the Jordans? He is such a lying sack of shit.

    And every time we pick the Jordan we break the heart of a Robby and we can never ever fix that. Every time we break the heart of Luke, or Robby, we can never ever go back and we fuck them up for the next girl.

    why are we so dumb?

  6. tamaratattles

    okay I am just now going to watch after the final rose. I might just go to sleep. Jordan is a POS so…..

  7. tamaratattles

    I hate her dress. And I LOVE that Jordan is going to fuck her over. That is all.

  8. tamaratattles

    Jordan is a MAJOR dick. He will dump her in five minutes..

  9. tamaratattles

    I feel so much better. They already hate each other. This is awesome.

  10. tamaratattles

    she is already dumped.

    • SashaV

      I totally agree TT! Jordan comes off as the most disingenuous slimeball ever. Just the way he puts on the smarmy fake smile all the time, ugh! Jojo has horrible judgment. I liked Robby at the end but still think Luke was the best choice. He at least seemed ďown to earth, normal plus he was nice to look at. What a mess of a show. Why do I waste my time watching it? But I do and am going to watch that train wreck Chad on Bachelor in Paradise…..

  11. SweetM

    girl…ugh I totally get what you are saying!!

  12. On the bright side, ast least Jordan can’t become the new bachelor. :)

    Which was rumored what he actually wanted from the show. He didn’t want to win.

    Her mother did not like Jordan at all and had him pegged the minute she laid eyes on him.

  13. Jellyfish

    If there was ever a more awkward couple on this crap show I’ve never seen it. And the long silence her parents greeted that greasy loser’s self aggrandizing speech about asking for her hand was very telling. But the most obvious give away that this couple is like the high school couple who date each other just so no one else dates the other was when all the two of them could say was, “I love you” 147 times.

  14. Jellyfish

    And why did both of those guys have to wear those aggressive parts accessorize With elaborate swooshes of hair. Hair that looked soupy. Robby and other loser both looked like those little men that used to come with Legos.

    • lori

      Oh the hair! This whole season, I just kept thinking “this show really needs some new hair stylists. Almost all of their hair is done the exact same style, and they all look ridiculous”.

  15. lori

    This whole season was horrible. First of all, I was embarrassed for the guys in the house, watching them act like 9 year olds at sleep away camp singing those stupid Jojo songs, etc. The ONLY reason I still watch the Bachelor and bachelorette is so I know who’s who for bachelor in paradise. Just like I only watch the Real World so I know who’s who for The Challenge. So glad this mess is over. She deserves exactly what she got.

    • Bachelor in paradise is the only reason why I watch this train wreck also. But at least I watch this with a few others so we can openly mock this show and justify watching it.

      • Alice

        The only reason I watch the Bachelorette is for the Rosepricks podcast from Ronnie from Watch What Crappens. Lots of good snark on everyone involved to make you feel better!

      • lori

        I’ll have to check that out. Anything to make this crap enjoyable would be nice. Just curious, do they do one for BIP also?

  16. Dancing Matisse

    I was amused by JoJos mom who reminds me of Charo.

    JoJo has some work to do on herself apparently. I liked someone’s response (her brother?) that she wasn’t picking an Instagram photo partner. I don’t think she knows how to pick anything but that at this stage in her maturity. She’s sweet and deserves better than she chooses for herself.

  17. Buttercream

    Haven’t watched since Ryan and Trista .. is that their names? Married on their own show .. and the the Goodyear Bachelor ruined it for me ….

  18. Jill

    I saw the first week when she laid eyes on him and she gave him that First Impression Rose that he was “it.” But personally, I feel like she is a little obsessed with his brother being Aaron Rodgers than with him. I never heard her ask him about his time trying to make it in the NFL or his time playing college football, which is a big deal in itself. All she did was ask about Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. I mean maybe the producers were prodding her along, but come on, isn’t that a little bit MORE of a red flag that he may not be in a healthy family dynamic here? Who wants to invite that kind of drama into their lives willingly?? All for a pretty face?

    And I’m sorry, it’s the guys who are pretty like that who aren’t really that great in the sack because they don’t feel like they have to work that hard because you should feel special to be with THEM. Oh brother. Sorry for being crude. Not sorry. And not for nothing, but she didn’t look all that “wowed” after her night in the fantasy suite with him either. I give it 3 months.

    I’m a huge sports fan and a big football fan and I heard he already has a job sports announcing/commentating on the SEC network for the fall. Howard Stern always comments about these bachelorettes always go for these “former sport” this or that and seem to forsake the guys with the actual “real” jobs like Electrical Engineer. Because farce.

    • lori

      The thing that I hate the most about these shows is that we rarely hear ANY conversations of depth between these people. It’s just the same thing over and over and over and OVER AGAIN of them professing their feelings for each other. Same with their talking heads. Then the “torment” and tears of how to decide, or letting someone go. I feel nothing because we don’t really know anything about them TO feel any kind of connection. The exception is almost always the person who production has decided will be the next bachelor or bachelorette (in this case, it seems to be Luke). His life seems a bit like Chris (Soule’s?), living in such a small remote town and all, kind of cowboy-ish.

      Anyway, they need to figure out something different, because whenever I press play on my dvr to watch, I am never, in the least, excited about it. It feels like a chore. I do agree with you though. I think what actually made her want him is that he’s Aaron’s brother, but then again, they do a terrible job of showing any depth in these people’s relationships. .

      • Jill

        I agree with you on the viewing being a chore. I actually have fast forwarded through many an uneaten dinner on this show. In the old days of this show, they used to explore what these potential candidates did for a living and what their hobbies were and what they liked to do in their spare time, etc. And sometimes you might actually get a good and interesting, sometimes comical response here or there. But now all these “coached” and “entertainment-focused” people seem to be the only ones who try out for this show except for maybe 10 people per round of this show. That’s why when Jojo asked a random guy what they like to do for fun, they answered are always like, I rescue kittens from trees or I do volunteer work at a Boys and Girls Club, etc. It really reminds me of media relations training I got once.

        I do think Chad was spot on when he said a lot of those guys are models, would-be actors, singers, communications or media majors, perspective sports commentators and are using the show as a job interview. The really good guys like Luke and a couple others with real jobs don’t shine as bright as the ones who prepped for this with media training, believe me.

        This season especially stood out to me as being one without substance. At most of these dinners, I heard Jojo get into nothing about her line of work or them talk about their works/hobbies or their potential careers, it was on and on about nothing.

        By two episodes in, it became a chore listening to their bad grammar and her occasional vocal fry. I don’t know why younger girls think they have to talk like that. Contrary to what they might think, it doesn’t make you sound smarter or more distinguished, it makes you sound like the daughter of the Marlboro Man. Ben’s season drove me NUTS with that vocal fry and saying “LIKE” like all the, like, time. Kill. Me. Now.

      • lori

        Yep. That’s it.

      • Dancing Matisse

        Luke is from a little town outside of Austin. It has a mix of true, super small town Texas folks as well as a lot of wealthy weekend ranchers. The rumor here in town is that he’s living in Nashville though.

  19. Monihew

    Didn’t watch not one episode, but your synopsis is priceless!!! I love your blog!

  20. Stopped watching this show a season or two or three back, but really enjoy your recaps, Tamara. It’s probably the result of a generation gap, since I’m probably older than a lot of your readers, but the Fantasy Suite part of the show really bothered me – to go through three different guys in the space of three or so days is gross – talk about sloppy seconds, one of those guys was getting the revolting thiRds (couldn’t find a gross enough word that began with a ‘t’)! I know you need to have sex with someone to see if you’re truly compatible before you commit, and I know they shower and do whatever between dates, but to me it devalued the woman and put pressure on her that usually wouldn’t happen in real life. Of course, these shows aren’t real life, which is why so few of them make it more than a few weeks after the end of the season.

    • Jill

      EnglishRose, I’m in my mid-30’s and been watching the Bachelor since the start and have never been a fan of the fantasy suite. Maybe it’s my germaphobia/OCD/my stranger danger but I always was skeeved out by the fantasy suite, the amount of time that passed in between, and a little about the principal of him/her screwing 3 in a weeks time as a sort of sexual vetting out process. This is what it’s come down to? She or he wouldn’t know without actual sex whether there’s physical chemistry? I call BS a little bit there.

      Then again, in the back of my mind, I do recall my best friend’s advice: Life is too short to have bad sex the rest of your life.

  21. i hate Jordan too and something about the way he walks with his pants too tight and all pigeon toed, ugh! i don’t find him attractive at all and when you take someone to your hometown and all you have to show them is your high school glory days, well…..

  22. T D

    Begging pardon, sans a leg to stand on, how doe’s one kneel?

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