It’s time for a new episode of RHOOC. I think if there is one thing we can agree on, (unless you are one of my nice Canookian friends) is we hate Shannon. Therefore, it is important to overlook many of Vicki’s egregious flaws and Kelly’s racist rants, and root for these two. No? Well whatever. That is my plan for surviving this season. It’s the turning a blind eye plan. In other news, the word ‘frenemies’ is not longer underlined as a misspelled word. I find that fascinating. Also, I won’t be recapping Kelly on WWHL tonight because I have no appetite and am drinking wine anyway and I have one more post I need to do after this that I won’t be able to get up before WWHL, so I’ll do it first thing tomorrow. And by first thing I mean like probably around 5 pm.
I think that we all need to understand that Meghan was told to uncover Brooks cancer lies by production and maybe cut her some slack. There I said it. Is it just me that wants to give her a fresh start? I mean, maybe it is the fact that I too am married to a gay man (In my head, and yes, he knows) that makes me want to try again with her. But my gay husband treats me like the Queen of Sheba and it is the best relationship I’ve ever had. Her gay husband is kind of an asshole. I’m not sure that cohabitation is a good idea if you are married to a gay man. Because, you know, they obviously have other relationships. I mean mine is married and faithful to his gay husband. This works well for us. He gives me more emotional comfort in a day than Jim has given her in an entire “marriage” and we have never even spoken on the phone. I find this to be the ideal marital relationship. YMMV. Anyway, she is trying to hatch an egg because in Orange County it is important to have what I call an anchor baby with any man gay or straight. Because, child support.
Also, I kind of like Meghan’s mom. She’s really pretty. She is with Meghan for the egg retrieval. I’m having wine on an empty tummy so I am making this more about me than is necessary. Meghan is blabbing away on her medication much like I am. While still on the drugs Meghan tells her doctor she met his ex wife with a colorful mouth the night before. Apparently he used to be married to the purse stealing bitch from last week.
First of all I need to defend Michael. Some of y’all were attacking his looks and I was not expecting that at all. To each their own, but I could definately date Michael based on looks. Now his crazy might not interact with my crazy that well, but I think it would be an easier relationship than his crazy plus Kelly’s crazy. I was surprised by the criticism. Okay now that I am paying more attention to him, there is something about his mouth and his teeth and the way the words come out that are troublesome. So maybe not. Unless he owns the Malibu house in which case, I’m back in again. And I am back out. This family dinner at the white dining room table has a whole creepy feeling like The Munsters. I skeeved out buy the whole setting and Michael irritated me in the kitchen and I feel like I need to see LESS of Kelly’s home life to continue to force myself to like her. This episode isn’t going well for me. Okay, I don’t know why I didn’t just listen to UF in the first place. Micheal is creepy and Kelly’s mom seems like a conehead. Lord forgive me for this, but I feel like this is an SNL skit. Maybe it is all the hideous white on white on nonmatching white decor that is killing me. But I’m losing my Team Kelly in this scene.
TamraI like to see Tamra and Vicki getting along. I hate that I know this doesn’t end well. AGAIN. But there is always next season. Vicki says she had nothing against David Beador when she went to the party, but NOW SHE DOES. Yay! Vicki talks about David talking to women that way. And hey, I have already said I am trying to be Team Vicki, but Vicki got right up in his face. So, that’s on her. I’ve gotten right of in men’s faces before and gotten more than I bargained for. At some point, the whole “you asked for it” thing comes into play.
Meghan is totally getting the best edit possible to make up for her shit edit last year. Now she is speaking out for cancer causes. Heather is going with her to glom on to the good edit. I kind of love that Meghan wasn’t the best orator in her speech. She’s young, she was nervous. And I love that she is using her platform to fight cancer. I may be going to the dark side, y’all. Hopefully she will piss me off later.
Shannon is going to Dr. Moon to get a cupping session. I find this hysterical because cupping is a BDSM practice. Or so I’ve heard. Not that I would know anything about that. I read a lot of books. Allegedly.
I’m bored with this physical training stuff. But I must say, as a fat girl, I get the whole “I’m trying to eat” thing. I wish I would have eaten more today before heading in “to work.” Tamra’s abs look really odd. And by odd I mean gross. You have to give it to Tamra and Eddie for staring the most enduring business, Cut Fitness.
I have a friend who I used to visit in Orange County. It was a beautiful place. But is was much chillier than I ever expected. I thought of California as being hot. But in my experience, Orange County was always a bit chilly. For me this explains the west coast abhorrence of ceiling fans. We have had several summer storms in the ATL recently that have knocked out power. If I were only allowed one thing it would be my ceiling fan. I thought I would die without it. I am not a nervous traveler, but I need all the little things that shoot air my way to be on me. If they were not an option, I’m not sure I could fly. I know I could not do coach. /shudder Just the word coach makes me anxious. So all of these high faultin’ designers and their disdain for the ceiling fan make me want to embrace mine and perhaps write an ode to air circulation. Moving on.
I can’t stand Briana. I guess I really am Team Vicki. I love how Tamra says Briana is moving to her neighborhood but “outside the gates.” It’s like the Atlanta division of living Inside the Perimeter (ITP) or Outside the Perimeter (OTP) with the perimeter being I-285. The cool kids are ITP and the rest of us are OTP. But hey, I’m just barely OTP, lol and now near the new stadium so fuck you. I do hope Brianna is happy and healthy though.
Kelly calls Shannon to meet for coffee. In another scene, Meghan says basically that she saw Shannon set up Kelly. Kelly is very nice to Shannon at first. She asks about the bitches that Shannon invited to her party. Shannon gets very defensive. Shannon denies knowing the bitches from the party. Shannon is in full denial. Things don’t improve. I am totally, TEAM KELLY. Fuck Shannon, she’s lying her ass off.
Next Week: Things are all over the place. IDGI. Please explain.