Daily Tea: (Open Forum) I Hear You in the Morning, I Hear You at Nightfall

stevie nicks

 

There is so much going on in the world, (and in my emails from y’all) that I felt another open forum was needed. I’m really in the hole.  I haven’t been this dysfunctional in a while, and it seems like something we are all feeling right now. Our world seems to be a bit crazy. And lots of us are single and dealing with everything alone, so I wanted to put something up where we could all share.  But especially share if things are going great!

I was also kind of unaware of the seriousness of the fires in California and felt bad about not being more supportive of you guys out there.  I haven’t seen much local news lately. When I catch some it is all Trump all the time.  I know I would be terrified in your situation.

big brother little sister

 

Today is my brother’s birthday. He is my favorite brother and the sibling closest to me in age. He’s ten years older than me. I love him very much.  He was in high school in Switzerland when I was in elementary school in Libya. But he came home every holiday and brought me SweeTarts and was there all summer and we had that relationship where I was the dumb kid sister and he was the cool older brother. And he had records. I was not allowed to touch the records. Except that one day that my parents left me home alone. My favorite two songs were 25 or 6 to 4 and Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.  I got in a lot of trouble for playing those records. It was worth it.

One time my brother was with me on a trip to either Leptus Magna or Sabratha (google it, it’s amazing) and by some miracle my brother was allowed to play his music, (unlikely) or I was just singing Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds and my brother was being a jerk in the back seat with me telling on me that I should not be singing that song because it was about bad things. I remember being quite sassy with my parents and my brother telling them that it was a perfectly lovely song about Lucy who lives in the sky and has a lot of diamonds. Because from an early age, I have always been smarter than everyone else. :)

ANYWAY I don’t do music very well because it takes me places and makes me feel things greatly. But today I need some music.  So if you do too, here you go.

Because everything sucks and nothing else matters.

And because it is my brother’s birthday.

Hang tight everybody. No matter what happens, I’ll be here.

117 Comments

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117 responses to “Daily Tea: (Open Forum) I Hear You in the Morning, I Hear You at Nightfall

  1. I went to the Hollywood Bowl last Saturday to experience Weird Al Yancovic’s show.
    It was really fun and a break from the real world.

  2. Oh, and the sun was a burnt orange color from all the smoke from fires…surreal looking.

  3. WhyOWhy

    The fires are awful here! Luckily, here in the Central Valley, we’re okay, so far… Sacramento tends to just get the effects of the fires, which of course, is bad air and gloomy days filled with smoke. But so far, it’s okay. My heart breaks for everyone who has been evacuated on the Central Coast and in the South. As much as us northern Californians joke about wanting to be separate from Los Angeles and southern California, this is no joke.

    We’re working our way up to 105 today and close to 110 the rest of the week. I pray nothing catches fire and the ones that are burning are quickly under control. =(

    Let’s see… good things — today there was a rally for a kid named Ethan who as part of Make-a-Wish, got to be a garbage man for the day. He drove around with the garbage men all morning picking up trash and ended at the Capitol to a big rally with at least 1,000 people. It was so sweet.

    TT, those are some good memories with your brother! Happy birthday to him! My relationship with my brother is a lot like that… but I’m 4 years older. My brother is my favorite person and my all around best friend.

    I am sending massive hugs out into the Tamara Tattles world for all of you!

    • ginger

      Why, this is the sweetest story!! I bet Ethan wanting to be a garbage man for a day made those garbage men feel awesome, as they should for doing a tough job that people tend to take for granted. Thank you for sharing this!!!

      • Miguel

        I was about to type something to this effect, ginger. I love this story, especially little Ethan’s innocence. In a world consumed with consumption and materialism, this is sooooooo refreshing!!! Thanks a mil WhyOWhy & stay safe!

      • Whyowhy

        I work a block from the Capitol and could hear all the cheering from my office balcony. I wasn’t able to get over there to partake in the festivity, but it brings tears to my eyes and lumps my throat. Similar to Batkid a few years ago.

        It renews my faith in people when I hear that so many strangers come together for a little boy whose dream it is to be a garbage man

  4. NeverBeenJaxed

    Excellent choice of music, TT. I can empathize completely on the feelings triggered by music. I am the same and I feel deeply as well. It always evokes a memory or an emotion and sometimes it’s just too much.

    Sending you love, light, and a big hug from Northeast PA. I’m also sending hoardes of basil, tomatoes, and wildflowers. The container gardens are flourishing.

    Much love to you and Banjo <3

  5. Cat

    Yes, the world is insane.

    Terrorism doesn’t scare me. Gun violence doesn’t scare me. I’ve had a gun to my head more than once in my life. The first time, I was 9 years old. The guy with the gun was my father. He was mad because there was no bread n the house.

    But, I digress.

    The violence in the world does not scare me. I know I have a better chance of winning the lottery than being caught up in a mass shooting.

    What does scare me is fire. And flooding. I drowned when I was 5. I would not wish that upon anyone.

    Nature is scary. It’s beautiful, but scares the Hell out of me. Because, Nature is bigger than all of us. We think we control Nature. How naive we are.

    What is my point? I have no clue. I’m just sharing random thoughts and feelings.

    We cannot control Nature. But we can control ourselves. Our behavior toward others. I firmly believe that we CAN change the world. We do not need a Superman or Batman. All we need to do is vow to be nicer to those we come in contact with. Help others, when you can. Acknowledge others. Smile and say “Good morning”, instead of looking down at your smartphone.

    Show genuine love and compassion for others. A little empathy goes a long way, sometimes.

    I know some will say, “Cat, how can you preach social connection, when you yourself avoid contact?” Easy. Because, if someone had taken the time to acknowledge MY life, I would not have grown up avoiding people. Being ignored, or worse, dismissed, is sometimes the worst type of abuse.

    At least I try when I DO go out there. Do unto others, and all that jazz.

    I recently posted on Facebook that I could no longer offer moments of silence. We have been doing this so often lately, it has become a hollow gesture. My moments of silence have become so frequent, they are now one, big perpetual moment of silence.

    But that does not mean I no longer care. If anything, it means I care too much.

    Be good to each other. Live, love, laugh.

    Be safe. 9 lives. ❤

    • Cat

      Oh, and happy birthday to your brother!

      Your choice of music is exceptional. I have always loved Chicago. Good memories.

      • Minky

        Namaste Cat. You’re lovely. I think when nature does this it’s a reaction to how people are behaving. I’m not a hippie or anything, but these brush fires always seems to happen when there’s some horrible shit going on in the world.

    • tamaratattles

      I was kinda pretty there for a bit in my life, I weigh about twice what I did then I’m hugely unattractive now.

      But this is the nice thing about living in the south, men still open the door for me. Even in the ghetto, people are very sweet, So when I go out into the world, men of all races Sometimes that is the best part of my day.

      • Tamara – you’re way too hard on yourself. I remember thinking how unattractive I was in photos about ten years ago. I look at them now and think, Damn! I wasn’t that bad looking at all. Never have been what you’d call a beauty, always more on the brainy side, but I think I underestimated myself. I think you do too – no matter how overweight you are, you’re one funny, quick-witted woman, and (when you’re not going through the crap you’re experiencing now) I bet a lot of people enjoy and appreciate you. Wish I lived in the south – men in CA are rude – it’s very rare for one to hold a door open for you – especially a lot of the young ones.

      • Whyowhy

        EnglishRose, I disagree. I always have guys hold doors for me. Older men, young men, millenials. They aren’t all inconsiderate jerks in California.

        TT, chin up, Buttercup. You are you and that’s the person you are meant to be. I look back at pictures and wish I was that “fat” again. It’s not what you look like, it’s how you present yourself. Have confidence and it will radiate. Xoxoxo

      • Glad you’re running across people with good manners, Whyohwhy. Thought they were mostly gone. I’ll concentrate on the ones who do know how to act, and enjoy them when they happen. On the Central CA Coast, there’s a huge mix of people, ranging from agricultural workers to middle income to the fairly wealthy. Funnily enough, it’s not the very rich in their Mercedes and BMW’s who let you go ahead or show manners, it’s mostly the average Joe.

      • Minky

        Yeah, I don’t know why everyone thinks Californians are so rude. I’m a born and raised L.A. girl. I’m always courteous to everybody. I guess the big thing here is smiling. Like a lot of smiling.

        Traffic on the other hand… I can’t tell you how I hate the tailgaters and the lane weavers. They should all go to hell.

        And you’d be so surprised at what men like. Don’t go by what you see in magazines and on TV. When I see some of the RH we talk about so much here I wonder why how any of them managed to attract anyone at all. It’s not just their looks, but also their personalities.

      • Whyowhy

        Agreed, Minky. Us Californians aren’t so bad.

        Los Angeles traffic makes me stabby. One of the last times I drove there, it took me 3 hours to go 17 miles. I hated everyone.

      • Minky

        LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Oooooh I know that stabby feeling. Ever been stuck in traffic during a car chase? Now that’s L.A.!

        If you’re driving in the morning try listening to K-Earth 101. It’s an oldies station. Now-a-days oldies means Billy Idol and Guns ‘N Roses. They’re one of the few morning shows that actually plays music. Or you can just blast your own tunes in the car. If it weren’t for my radio I’d lose it.

        I remember playing Radio Head’s “Kid-A” album one time. I love, love, love Radio Head. But in traffic in DTLA you really start to realize what Thom Yorke’s writing about in his lyrics. It’s too apocalyptic. As is The Cure’s “Disintegration” album. James Brown is good in traffic. I recommend his song “The Payback”.

      • Whyowhy

        Thankfully, I only make that drive one a year when I go to Disneyland. If I’m lucky, I can leave Sacramento by 9am and hit LA by 2 and Anaheim by 3. That’s IF the traffic Gods are in a good mood.

    • Natalie

      So cat I just watched the Netfix science fiction series “stranger things” and briefly wondered if you were posting from the beyond/upside down. you mention life/death instances and frequently say your “up in a tree”. Then I realized you most likely are not.

      • Cat

        Sometimes, I wonder. :)

        The tree is reference to “Alice in Wonderland” (The book, not the crappy Disney movie). And the Cheshire Cat.

        The Cat smiles, because he has figured out the secret to living in a “mad” world. Wonderland is mad, and everyone in it is mad, as well. He accepts this fact, and uses that knowledge to survive.

        He sits up in his tree, minding his own business, and watches the activity and chaos below. He does not waste his time, like the others, trying to make sense out of senselessness.

        While others are running around, losing their heads, he keeps his..sometimes fading to just a head, and eventually, just a smile.

        The smile always remains.

      • WhyOWhy

        Cat, so funny you should be referencing Alice in Wonderland… it’s my all-time FAVORITE book (and I do love the Disney movie) and I’m listening to to audio book right now.

      • Cat

        I do believe in the afterlife.

        I’ve had enough near death experiences to know there is something to look forward t when we leave here.. I often am visited by my mom, and especially my cats.

        And now and then, I will “dream” that I visit them. Whether this is astral travel I cannot say for sure, but I think I really do visit them. These dreams are very vivid, and different from regular dreams. I have control in these dreams.

        That may sound insane. Maybe it is. But then, we are all mad here. :)

      • Cat

        They are my favorite books, too. The Disney movies…..no. But that’s because I used to work for them, and saw the truth. The magic was ruined.

    • Where the hell is the like button??? Cat, thank you.

    • Dee

      Cat, thank you for sharing, thank God for your brother! I can’t imagine Tamara’s blog without you!

  6. Katherine 2.0

    Happy Birthday to your brother, TT!
    I am wallowing in the shitshow by listening to Hank Williams and rereading a book on nuclear holocaust. Depending on the outcome of this election, I may have to go into prepper mode.
    Other than that, my kids and my plants are thriving, and I am grateful for some meaningful projects to work on.
    Thanks for opening another post, and for sharing your stories with us.

    • BamaBelle

      I just spit reading this! I have the nastiest political snark rolling around in my head right now and I’m loving it. I’ll spare you all as I don’t want to ruin this site. It’s my escape from political. Thanks!

    • tamaratattles

      I STRONGLY RECOMMEND PREPPER MODE regardless of political affiliation, small bills, change, MREs, hand heldcan openers, cigarettes! batteries, DUCT TAPE etc

      • Minky

        For me the most important thing would be cigarettes, coffee, instant noodle bowls, candy bars, feminine hygiene products, my thyroid meds, and a lot of water. But part of me believes that prepping would be a waste of time. What happens when the zombies break down your door and take all of your candy? Or your noodle bowls?!!!

        I’m just trying to lighten the mood. 😩

      • Whyowhy

        I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse… be in my office. We have secure doors that stay locked even worth no power, a private bathroom and a fully stocked kitchen. Of and we are on the 6th floor with a private elevator, that won’t work, but only stops on my floor and the basement.

        (I may also be secretly hoarding books in my office, just in case.)

      • Cat

        If Trump becomes President, I just want to be at ground zero when he pushes that button. I would rather vaporize than deal with the aftermath.

      • Dee

        Thank you Tamara, very good advice 😉

    • Skeeter

      We ALL need to go into prepper mode. We have 3 gardens here – all 30 x 75 at least (maybe/probably longer). I can everything I can, freeze what I need to freeze and use the dehydrator A LOT. Not only is it scarey out there, the price of food is ridiculous. My husband and I were talking a few nights ago and realized we are practically vegetarians. We didn’t even realize how much we cut back on meat because of it’s price. (I guess that’s a good thing) My next project is stockpiling water. We can’t drink our water anyway, we are on a well and in a farming community (mainly mushrooms, mushroom capital of the world matter of fact lol) and the chemicals from whatever they put on their plants are in my water so we just buy it. Speaking of chemicals, our gardens are 100% natural, if we treat for pests it’s all natural stuff that won’t harm the ground! My idea of a shopping spree these days is finding mason jars on sale!

      • We have begun trying to be more self sufficient too Skeeter. We have a few acres, not a lot, but enough to raise our own veggies. We also raise steers for ourselves and our family and we have chickens, ducks and goats. I’m looking into how to make goat cheese since they are the only ones wander around the yard and don’t earn their keep. I can, freeze and dry everything. I sell enough fryers, beef and corn to cover our costs so our food bill covered except for things like condiments, bread and milk. My husband of 30 years walked out on me and I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to take care of everything myself but I am doing quite well and am proud of myself. We are trying to work things out now but it’s good to know I can do it alone.

      • Wow @justanothermary. That’s awesome. You should blog about women doing prepping on their own! I would love that.(Like you need one more thing to do, lol). I know there’s stuff out there, but it still would be cool from a solo woman standpoint. I have an apocalypse going on in my life and really am looking at things closely…. Have always believed in prepping but never got as far as I wanted… Any ways best of luck with the hubby, I know that all to well and yah for doing in all on your own :)

  7. Minky

    Happy Birthday to your brother TT!!!

    California isn’t just a state. It’s also a state of mind. For some strange reason we can have all kinds of shit going on not but 5 miles or so away and not really be bothered by it. Or maybe I should just speak for myself.

    I’m very sad about the fires. When mother nature gets angry she really has one hell of a fit. It is terrifying that so much land and brush and trees have burnt up. We had a brush fire not far from where I live a couple of years ago. The air smelled like when they burn incense in church. And everybody’s lawn was coated with a thick layer of ash. Everybody was on high alert about whether or not there would be an evacuation. Those fire fighters must have nerves of steel!

    And then there was that horrible Northridge earthquake in ’94. And fucking El Nino! Somehow we get back on the freeway and go right back to work.

    @WhyohWhy Hey! I love all my friends from up north. You guys are the best. I suppose it’s all that wine in Napa and Sonoma. And the weed! ☺️

    • Whyowhy

      Well said, minky. California is so much more than what people who have never been here think.

      I happen to love Orange County… okay, Disneyland and San Diego. It’s the drive I loathe!

      Mmmm, wine. I can pass on the weed, though. Lol

      • Amy Lou

        The drive is the worst but the ocean is the best – I love when you’re walking towards the beach and get that first whiff of beach air – sublime. I’m in the Palm Springs area and we saw someone’s front yard on fire last Saturday – just random desert landscape and dry brush burst into flames you could see from far away – we were about a mile away and drove by – it was so scary and it doesn’t even come close to what’s happening in Santa Clarita. I sometimes think I’m more of a Florida girl, having lived there in my late 20’s, but there’s something about California that draws me in, too. Love to all.

      • PiaPill

        I was born and raised outside of Sacramento but had relatives on both sides of my family in Southern California … so I had the blessings of experiencing the lifestyles and attitudes in both areas! I agree that California is so much more than what people who have never been there think AND it is also a state of mind. I feel so blessed to have had my most formative years being raised and grounded in California!

        TT, wishing your brother a very happy birthday. He is fortunate to have a sister like you who is both quick witted and compassionate when it counts. A person’s true measure is what is on the inside on not just the shell of our bodies on the outside.

        Cat, I admire your strength! I just can’t imagine living (or in your case surviving) a childhood with a father as you described! I too had an experience with water in that I was swimming in the beach and the undertone was too strong for me to get out! Luckily in my panic, I opened my eyes in the salt water understanding that it might sting … but since I was losing air it didn’t much matter at that point! Anyway as the under toe was taking me back to shore, I saw an ankle so I grabbed on to it. Luckily it wasn’t a stranger but my brother who grabbed me and fished me up for air. As a child, I also choked on some meat which was also a significant emotional event in my life! Good or bad, pleasurable or painful, easy or difficult; all these experiences combined has made me the person I am today. I just feel blessed that I am able to share some pocket of life with people here on TT’s site. I may not comment often, but I appreciate the banter and am grateful that I can be exposed to such incredible people with just a keystroke of activity. We all are a product of our combined experiences and I appreciate the wealth of experience that people bring to this site. I don’t necessarily have to agree with everybody to learn, but I darn well respect everyone for their effort to be a better person today than they were yesterday and the recognition that we all have opportunities to improve! I too am suffering from anxiety but mine is driven by vertigo issues in that everything makes the vertigo worse! Smells, movement, light, etc makes the room spin something fierce where it is extremely difficult just to stand up let alone function in society. It sucks but I am a fighter and will not give up!

      • PiaPill

        Sorry: saw the auto correct and misspellings! * meant “undertow” (versus undertone & under toe as referenced in my comment). 😊

      • Cat

        Thanks for understanding, and sharing your experience, too, PiaPill.

        In my case, I was pushed off the dock at my uncle’s lake, and held underwater until I lost consciousness. My sister was the one holding me under. She was 10. I was 5. My big brother saw what was happening, pulled me out, and revived me. The family now thinks my attempted murder is “amusing”.

        Yeah, I have THAT kind of family.

        Besides the family drama, I have been through just about every natural disaster imaginable, including the eruption of Mt. St. Helen’s. It’s bizarre.

        But, like you, I learned a lot about survival in this world. And learned a lot about the world after this one. With situations like this, you can either choose to be a victim, or choose to be a survivor. I chose survival. But, I’m not afraid to move on, either.

  8. CoolMama

    It sounds like you are in a funk, Tamara. I am just starting to snap out of mine. I’ve had a hard time feeling motivated lately. With two kids, four critters, two jobs, and a husband, I just can’t afford time for a proper funk.

    So I’ve been living by the rules of parent helpers at our old preschool:

    1. Show up
    2. Leave things better than you found it
    3. Bring snack

    Just do those for yourself each day and I promise you will feel better. I may even get them tattooed on my forearm so I can see them when I feel bad.

    • Matzah60

      I love this, CoolMama. It sort of reminds me of the book, Everything You Ever Needed to Know you Learned in Kindergarten.

      1. Share everything.
      2. Play fair.
      3. Don’t hit people.
      4. Put thngs back where you found them.
      5. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS.
      6. Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
      7. Say you’re SORRY when you HURT somebody.
      8. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
      9. Live a balanced life – learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.
      10. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

      Another good read from this book is the following:

      “You may never have proof of your importance but you are more important than you think. There are always those who couldn’t do without you. The rub is that you don’t always know who.”
      ― Robert Fulghum

      Tamara, I think you have an army of followers on this blog that couldn’t do without you. It is comforting to know that you “will always be here” along with all the wonderful people I have met on this blog, my happy place.

      • CoolMama

        Thanks, Matzah! When I’m in the funk and the “black dog” is near, I can only handle three rules.

        Translated for when I can’t function:

        1. Get out of bed
        2. Do just one chore to make your environment better
        3. Eat well

        It helps!! The rest of your list is fantastic for when I’m mentally healthy again. I especially like the quote about not knowing your importance in this world. I hope Tamara has, at least, a small clue of her contribution. And you too, for that matter!

      • Matzah60

        @Coolmama, I must agree. A short list is more doable and generally easier during those dark days. Sometimes, just getting out of bed and my PJs is a chore, but each forward movement is an accomplishment, even the tiny steps. Thanks for such a lovely message. I am touched!

    • tamaratattles

      this is better than the POWER DICK MONEY one I was considering….

      • CoolMama

        I totally got the idea from Rachel and Quinn!! You may be the only person in the world to catch on.

  9. Sabrina

    TT, I hope you and Banjo are back to normal and feeling well soon- heat will cause anyone to wilt and the longer it lingers, the worse it can be- so here come cheers from the Midwest to you! I hope you have AC. I also pray that the fires on the West Coast recede, that we a can find some order among all this chaos and anger in the world we live in, and that the loved ones of all touched/lost due to these horrific attacks all over the world find peace and comfort.

    Since many of us are feeling lack of constructive/interesting/any direction in a number of the RH shows, what would you think of taking on another realm of drama? Netflix has a new show out called “Something Matters” and it is terrific. It stars Winona Rider , has a supernatural element, families in the Midwest, and is well done. Best of all, the first six-eight shows are available so the viewer can watch them at your own pace. –
    even my picky husband is hooked!
    TT, thanks so much for the terrific music choices- Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles and Chicago make my top five- and each can help get me through a day, just by opening my heart and mind up – to so many things- memories, hopes, people we care about, dreams, – a real gift!! And that is what your postings are- and the audience that has collected here. Many of the discussions lately have been full of insightful, well- thought through and constructive approaches to the issues/shows/ whatever of the day. It has been a pleasure to see such intelligent approaches to issues- and a joy to participate, if only through reading , in them.. Thanks so much for creating that environment.

    And thanks to all of you who add to it!

  10. Lisa j

    My kids live near the fires. I’m calling every 10 minutes begging for them to just get on the I-10 and drive to mama. My husband who has been sober for 10 years relapsed last week and I’ve not seen him since Thursday night. I feel like a rock in the ocean being rushed over by waves of fear terror panic and tears. I told you TT that you’re my refuge last week and I meant it. Hope we all start to feel a positive change soon because things look bleak in my little slice of the world. I love the saying, be kind to everyone because you never know what battles they are in. 💗

    • Dear Lisa j: Am thinking and praying for you. Your worry is reasonable and hope your kids and husband come home.

    • Miguel

      Peace and love, Lisa j!!!

    • Matzah60

      I don’t know if there is any power in prayers, but there’s no harm in saying a heartfelt prayer, I will say a prayer for you, your children, and your husband. Have you ever seen the movie, The First Marigold Hotel. There is a line in the movie that has sort of become my mantra. “In the end, everything will be alright, and if it’s not alright, it’s not the end.”

      Please keep us abreast of your children’s situation, your husband, and most of all yourself. I love your saying as well. “Be kind to everyone because you knew what battles they are in.” Stay strong!

    • tamaratattles

      I’m so very sorry Lisa .

    • Whyowhy

      Lisa, I am praying for your family.

    • PiaPill

      Liss J,
      My thoughts are with you! Be strong. Sending you much cyber hugs and best wishes all in your family will pull through their crises.

    • Blondesense

      God Lisa. I feel so deeply for you. I am an alcoholic (3 years sober) and I really feel for you and your husband. Perhaps check online banking to see if he is using credit/debit and where? I mean, if you want to find him. God knows it would be OK if you didn’t. I can tell you he is probably so incredibly disappointed in himself right now. I will remember you in my prayers hun. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

    • I’m so sorry to hear that Lisa. My husband was a meth addict at one point. He’s been off the stuff for 18 years now but every time he gets the sniffles I become concerned. Know that you are in my prayers and that it is comforting to know that I’m not the only one that finds refuge here. Be kind to yourself.

    • Kimoe

      Praying for you and yours.

  11. T D

    Russell Baker’s Growing Up a virtual birthday gift to you and your big brother. Thanks for the tunes.

  12. Mittenteacher

    Happy Birthday to your brother, TT! I was also very close to my brother before he died. He actually went out to San Francisco to visit my other brother and was killed by a drunk driver (that we both went to high school with in Michigan). Weird. So I can identify with how much you really love him.

    You know, I don’t share much, but each day I really look forward to reading about you all and I feel like I know each person here. I can’t count the times I have a really awful day and read something that any of you have shared and it got me through a difficult time. I want you all to know that I am grateful.

    T.T. You are amazing! Thank you for giving us a place to go. Cat, I am sending you much love. You are a testament to all of the good things in this universe. A few weeks ago when you made that burning bed comment I fell out of my chair laughing.

  13. NAA

    I love SweeTARTS. That was the takeaway, right? What?

  14. Matzah60

    Forgot to wish your brother a Happy Birthday. I am glad that this brings your a lot of joy and wonderful memories!

  15. JoJoFLL

    I lost my sweet , beautiful kitty at 5:30am yesterday morning at the emergency vet.

    I am inconsolable.

    • Minky

      I’m very sorry to hear about this. I send my condolences.

    • So sorry on your Kitty, JoJo. Take care.

    • Matzah60

      I have always owned a pet and lost my dog in the middle of the night back in 2010. He had congestive heart failure and died in my arms. I understand your pain and wish I could say something to make you feel better. Let the tears flow. It’s cathartic. I do hope you find some solace and peace in the years you had your cat, cared for and love her.

    • Whyowhy

      Jojo, I am so very sorry for your loss.

    • misery chick

      Oh JoJo, I’m sooo sorry for your loss. Your sweet kitty feels great now and is scampering around…he/she’ll ALWAYS be with you and will let you know they’re around every once in awhile. This IS true, my kitty Myrna left my husband and me over twenty years, and every once in a great while, we see a flash of long white and grey fur whoosh past us. Hugs, love and healing to you 😍

      • JoJoFLL

        Thank you all. It’s so hard. I miss her so much. She was always by my side.

      • PiaPill

        I can sometimes feel a cat jumping on our bed … when I look no cat is there so I now get comfort realizing one of our cats is letting me know they are still with me …. JoJo, you will get signs, you just need to be aware of them when they come. Pia

    • PiaPill

      JoJo,

      I am SO SORRY for your loss! I too recently lost 2 cats within months of each other. Each loss is devastating. Please know my thoughts are with you during this difficult time. I have so many urns of the deceased animals that I have rescued and provided the best life I could give them in their remaing years that it looks as though I collect them!. Hold to the thought that your precious cat understood and was both grateful and appreciative to the love and security you provided, I choose to believe that I will see all my beloved animals that I have been fortunate to nurture during my lifetime on the other side …. this belief is my coping mechanism to get through these types of dark times! Take care, be strong, and focus on the love that you were able to share and experience with your cat.

      Sincerely,
      Pia

    • Blondesense

      I am so sorry JoJo. I lost my sweet dog of 14 years recently and it is a grief that cannot be described. The Rainbow Bridge poem brought me a lot of comfort.

    • JustJenn

      I’m so sorry for your loss. Atleast you provided your kitty with a wonderful and loving life and that’s all we can do for our beloved pets who never seem to live long enough (as in forever) hugs to you!

    • I’m so very sorry JoJo. I know that no words are adequate when one loses a pet but I always try to think about the joy that pets past have given me.

    • fivecatsownme

      JoJoFLL so sorry about your kitty. Wish I could I could say something to take the hurt away. Standing next to you in your sorrow.

    • Erica

      Oh J, I am so very sorry.

    • Cat

      Oh, JoJo….I am so sorry.

      I truly believe the bonds we have with our pets are never broken. Hopefully, you will see signs of your little kitty. They never truly leave us.

      Hugs to you! ❤

  16. More Tea Please!

    It’s so nice to have a special brother, isn’t it? I have 3 brothers, one is special! He’s the baby of 6′ I’m the youngest girl.

  17. Margaret Shepard

    Thanks so much for the musical memories down memory lane. Yes happy birthday to your brother. I lost my baby brother in 09 and I think of him every time I hear Eric Clapton. He adored Eric. I only have a younger sister left but we dont speak so it ‘s lonely not having my parents and brother. I got to feeling very nostalgic listening to the great music. Hope you cheer up soon! Btw I do have a husband and a teen son but its still different!

  18. T D

    Before you can be a diamond in the rough you must endure being a chunk of coal under pressure.After being cut so many times a brilliant diamond is formed. You are a gem.

  19. Swapples

    I’m visiting Cali for my friends birthday and we’ve beeen we got then on standby evacuation because of the fire. When I was picked up from the airport, we were in the valley and saw it burning..it was my first time seeing a wildfire like that. That was on Friday. Then on Saturday, we were on the way to Vegas and everything looked fine. When we came back Sunday night, when I got out of the car I started choking because the smoke was so bad. Then on Monday the skies were gray again and it was just miserable. Our city was trending on Twitter at #1 lol. First time in triple degree weather in Vegas..wasn’t too terribly bad, but I do miss Orlando. I have a redeye flight back tonight, and I can’t wait to be home.

    On a side note, I’m just disappointed regarding the incident in Japan. It’s just horrible what this world is coming to. I really just don’t get surprised anymore when “#PrayFor____” is trending on Twitter anymore.

    I hope everyone stays safe and can find some positivity throughout this tumultuous time.

  20. DutchTulip

    Isn’t it amazing how music can take you places throughout your life… and you remember clearly how old you were and the events that occurred there and then. Pretty powerful.
    Music always takes me there… and I take it all in.. good or bad.
    Tamara… so nice to share your stories about your family and places you lived and visited. I have been a nomad as well.
    Happy Birthday to your brother… wishing you both a great and lengthy life.

  21. Whyowhy

    So, I forgot to turn the air on when I left for work this morning. It was 97 in my house when I got home. It’s still 90 in here and 101 outside.

    The reason the air was off was because it was cool enough last night to leave the windows open.

  22. Tx 4 giving me some Stevie, as she always makes me feel btr. A bit of trivia the late great “PRINCE” aledgedly wrote that song or @ the very least collaborated with her. #txu 4 yur-kiss💋

  23. ZenJen55

    I got engaged! No Bravo ring or wedding for me but that’s OK, I’m getting married on Hilton Head Island!

  24. LA_in_KY

    My most prized possession is my record collection. I love my records. I have about 250. My favorite is my dad’s original of Sergent Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club. Please forgive me if I spelled it wrong, I have had a few cocktails. I also love Huey Lewis records.

  25. Blondesense

    I was riding the bus today and a young man tapped me on the shoulder and said ‘I just want to say, you’re amazing’. I giggled and said ‘thank you’ and he got off the bus. A few minutes later I burst into tears. I couldn’t figure out why – then realised no one has said anything like that to me in years. I wish I had the courage to make strangers feel that good. I mean I am pretty sure he was hitting on me but still, he made me feel great.

  26. As a veteran, I get my healthcare at the VA. Last week, I had an appointment to get my stitches removed from a biopsy (Suspicious mole–they got all the pre-cancerous cells!) As I was walking across the parking lot to my truck, an older gentleman stopped and waved me over to his truck.
    Him: Can I share something with you? Are you a vet?
    Me: Yes, sir.
    Him: Not Vietnam, you’re too young for that.
    Me: No, sir.
    Him: May I see your hand?
    He took my hand and placed it on his wrist. I felt a buzzing vibration (from the fistula for kidney dialysis)
    Me: Why are you buzzing?
    Him: Ain’t it the damnedest thing? Every time I see a beautiful woman, the thing goes plumb crazy!

    Was it corny? Hell, yeah! Did it put a smile on this 54 year old’s face for the rest of the day? Abso-fricking-lutely!!!

    Hang in there, TT! You are not alone!!

    • TBD

      I think it’s sweet. Everyone can use some admiration and flirting on occasion. Espcially that it didn’t unnerve you that he motioned you over. You must have felt safe otherwise you would be recounting a different story.

      • TBD — If I hadn’t still been on the VA grounds, I wouldn’t have! The Biloxi VA and National Cemetery is a large compound, including its own police force.

    • amisteree

      Sometimes just being seen, or noticed, is enough to change an entire day. Love your story. xo

  27. I’m not sure why I’m sharing this right now but I guess it’s because I need a little advice. As I said my husband of 30 years left me out of the blue with no notice. For the past sever months he had been very combative, angry and sullen. He asked me to go with him to a dr. appointment and I did. The doc explained to me that his mood change and rages may have been caused by the combination of medications he was put on after his heart attack. They are trying to adjust his meds to combat these side effects. Could this actually be true or am I pissing up a rope?

    • Hugs to you. What a horrible situation. Hope things work out for whatever is best for you, justanothermary.

      TT, hope you and Banjo have a good day.
      One foot in front of each other, is all we can do.
      Try to laugh a little each day; there is humor even in the darkest of day and situations.
      Have been thru lots and appreciate everyones journey.
      Hope you have a day of laughs and love TT

    • amisteree

      Justanothermary, I’ve been following your posts these last few months, and my heart goes out to you. I don’t have answers, but I want to encourage your continued growth toward independence–with or without your husband. Perhaps one day you will see painful time as a re-birth of yourself. In an earlier post in this thread, you mentioned that you were actually doing quite well on your own, and that you were proud of yourself. Remember that, and just put one foot in front of the other. xo

    • JKW

      Depending what meds he is on they can cause mood changes. Some meds don’t interact well with others. Also, having a heart attack sometimes triggers depression and other mental problems. They have a feeling of losing control. If you find out the meds he is on you can always look them up. They list the side effects.

      • I did look up the Chantex (sp?) that he was on to help him quit smoking and that has some mood altering side effects, especially when mixed with other drugs. I’ll check the others tonight – thanks for the suggestion.

      • Katherine 2.0

        Mary, Chantix made me an emotional basketcase and I wasnt on any other drugs! Best tonyou and your husband. I know you will work it out. ❤️

      • Minky

        I have heard terrible things about Chantix. I can only imagine what it would do when combined with other meds.

        I took prednisone for sciatica once. The idiot doctor who prescribed it to me gave me 5 pills, 1 pill to be taken each day. Not only did it make my pain worse (cramping like you wouldn’t believe), but it gave me the sweats, heart palpitations and frequent urination. Because sciatica is so painful I just chalked it up to my back, buttock and leg pain.

        Not until my fifth and last day taking it did it dawn on me to read the info that comes with the prescription at the pharmacy. There I found all of the things I was experiencing were side effects that require IMMEDIATE treatment. In addition to all of the physical side effects I also lost my mind. I mean serious fits of rage, cussing people out for no reason and throwing things like cabbages and bricks of cheese at the supermarket. That just isn’t me. The prednisone made me temporarily insane. Moral of the story: Be careful with prescription meds.

      • Katherine 2.0

        Ok, Minky. I need video of you throwing cabbages and bricks of cheese, like RIGHT NOW. Sorry, I know this was meant to be serious, but that shit is so random and the images it conjures are hysterical.

      • @justanothermary I wanted to tell you, Chantax made my never ever suicidal (but drug loving) husband suicidal. He needs to get off of it. It also made one of friends totally OCD. It may work for some people but others have AWFUL reactions!!

    • More Tea Please!

      When my father in law had a heart attack and then bypass surgery the surgeons warned that depression was very common after surgery. Maybe it has to do with coming face to face with your mortality. Good luck getting through it. It was at least a good sign that your husband wanted you to go to the doctor with him.

  28. Natalie

    Honey, since you asked, focus on yourself unless you are financially dependent on him. Don’t let him pull you back in unless you absolutely need it.

  29. T D

    Had no idea that I would work for music royalty today. I was’t exactly having the time of my life. He actually shook my dirty hand. He’s written for so many famous people.

  30. I loved 17 so much I stayed 17 til I was 21. #perfectsong Tx for the (blurred) memory TT!

  31. Onawin

    I know this is so late to respond however I just found this tea thank you so much for the music Stevie is my favorite artist I was so happy I started to dance and cry. I was born July 16 and my days have always up and down more down than up medication helps somethings the music was so helpful thanks TT💋❤️👍

  32. Onawin

    TT I have not closed this tea because I’m still enjoying Stevie Nicks I’m also enjoying it on Utube, my oldest brother name was Junior my children and grandchildren still
    Speak of him fondly I wish he was still here even though he was a mess he was still my heart. Thanks TT you brought me back to life ❤️❤️

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