Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Can A Leopard Change Her Spots?

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY -- Season:7 -- Pictured: (l-r) Dolores Catania, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, Jacqueline Laurita -- (Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

(Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

It’s time for more of The Glamorous Life of Crime starring Teresa Giudice and friends. We start with the perils of having kid that can’t walk to the end of the driveway.  Should I insert my stories of walking miles to the bus stop uphill in both directions through mounds of snow here?  Teresa clearly blames Joe for her going to prison.  She doesn’t take any responsibility for her physically walking in to banks telling the loan officer that she had fake jobs as a realtor and a bunch of other things with her own mouth and signature. Nope, it is all Joe’s fault.  Despite her being charged with fraud counts that didn’t even include Joe. Or it is the bankruptcy lawyer’s fault. Teresa is the victim!

Jac arrives with coffee for Teresa and Teresa pretends she didn’t know she had a scene with her. Juicy doesn’t even pretend to have a job anymore. Teresa says she became a more forgiving person in prison. So they hug it out and decide to be friends. We will see how long this lasts. In other news, Teresa’s yoga obsession is really helping out in the bedroom. Teresa talks about prison dildos. Teresa tells us that she told Jac about the dildos because she knows Jac is kinky. I do not need to know any of this information.

 

Not really my store....allegedly...

Not really my store….allegedly…

I can’t tolerate the whole Melissa pretending like Envy is her store,. storyline. She is the Sonja Morgan of RHONJ.

I’m recapping from literally two computers mixed together, so I am not going to mention all the trivial stuff like Dolores’s home renovations. I am confused about why Jacqueline was at Teresa’s in the early morning and stayed a few minutes and left. Then she went over to Dolores’ house and they are popping corks before noon. NTTAWWT. I mean champagne is a breakfast drink. But not for people with kids or people who have to be productive that day.

Dolores is best friends with her ex-husband who is really cute and seems like a good guy. But it seems he cheated on her with some Dominican girl.

Siggy meets Teresa for the first time to help plan Dolores’ birthday party. How would the housewives franchise exist without birthday parties. Siggy complements Teresa’s fancy new handbag. These two seem to hit it off right away.

Dolores’ grandmother is 102! It seems this season is going to be about family. I like that! Dolores has a cute family.

Dolores’ Birthday Party

It’s a leopard print themed party! So Jersey!  Kathy arrives and Teresa seems to have forgotten her prison epiphany about forgiveness when it comes to Kathy. Mostly because Kathy’s family holds her responsible for her criminal activity. Rosie is there and Teresa ignores her too. I like Rosie on the show. Real life Rosie isn’t quite as rosy as she is portrayed here.

Teresa tells prison stories about the girls having sex in prison and how she got “massages.” Again, TMI. Other than Teresa ignoring her two family members,. Things went well. Teresa keeps telling “camp” stories. They are all sexual. Make of that what you will. Teresa drives a very drunk Melissa home in her brand new Lexus SUV.

Next Week: More Envy stuff. Siggy asks Teresa if she is going to divorce Juicy.

84 Comments

Filed under Dolores Catania, Gia Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Kathy Wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, RHONJ, Siggy Flicker, Teresa Giudice

84 responses to “Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Can A Leopard Change Her Spots?

  1. Cat

    I love the way she flaunts all of her expensive stuff. Some people never learn.

    • J Stone

      I see Bravo has added More scenes of Dolores son and ex-hubby. I’m sure A Cohen is having a ball with that footage of Frankie Jr.

      • Honey

        Dolore’s son is underage so I don’t think Andy will go there.

      • Lisa j

        Andy went there on WWHL

      • Erica

        Andy may be a lot of things, but he doesn’t ever go for the underage guys. I don’t recognize your name on here – are you trying to use that old GOP trope that gays are pedophiles?

      • Betty

        Relax Erica. I’m a GOP and I don’t buy that. Quit believing everything Democrats tell you. I also believe gays should marry, priests should be able to marry, etc

      • Erica

        Betty, I sincerely apologize. I thought I had deleted “GOP”. There are certainly some old Dems who think the same thing about gays being pedophiles. I certainly know better. One of my friends has been a Republican for a long time – and he certainly supports LGBTQIA civil rights. Once on FB when he posted something about supporting their rights – someone said something snarky to the effect of “I thought you were a proud Republican”… to which he responded ” LGBT rights aren’t politics, but family to me. Guess you missed my pics and status updates where I was the best man at my brother’s wedding to his husband”

        But, ignoring political party status, one must admit that the cliche that gays are pedophiliacs is alive and well among certain groups. I felt that the original post fed into such bullshit – and “political correctness” and “party affiliation” or not – I couldn’t let it go by. After all, if you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

    • Honey

      And I love the way she is called out on it in the most non-direct way. First Jaqueline with the Lexus, Siggy with the bag, and Melissa bringing up the New car smell. But Teresa is too dense to see that. It will come up at the reunion once it is explained to her.

      • Elizabeth

        I have to disagree…everyone comments like that when you get a new car… The bag comment the same thing….I’m sure Bravo gifted maybe….

      • Sabrina

        In Siggy’s case- she was admiring the bag, said she had it too.

        But what I don’t understand, more fundamentally, is:
        if the issue originally was competitive, needing to show everyone they owned only things that were bigger and better than anyone else – house, care, whatever- and that put them in this place to begin with, how could that still be even a desire/mindset when:
        1) they went bankrupt, owed millions to people, in attempting to obtain it and failed publicly, openly, miserably,
        2)they were indicted and found guilty, and are /were serving time for financial fraud, punishing their children and everyone they loved, and
        3)the scrutiny they receive is so deep that every breath they take is watched/photographed/copied?

        What could possibly hold that kind of desire for them now? I might even be able to understand that Joe made a grand gesture having a leased car in the drive as his triumphant hit at those who mocked them, before he heads to prison- an egocentric, childish, misinformed and stupid move,. but a Joe move-
        but who could understand her returning to her old ways, from the clothes to the purses, etc-who is she proving it to but herself? And there it is- she and Joe are very busy trying to tell themselves everyone else was wrong and they are /were right. ???? It makes no sense but appears to be the case.

        I would like to hope I am wrong, we are reading it too soon and there was substantial growth and change that will be visible shortly. But the sex stories added to the rest don’t appear to reflect a fundamental improvement in life priorities, I am sorry to say.

      • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

        @Sabrina, I personally believe they didn’t entirely fail, I think they have a lot of $ holed away somewhere.

    • I always wonder what items are gifts? Including the car? We know it happens.

      • Minky

        If I was in a situation where I owed oodles and oodles of money to anybody, especially the IRS, and I received gifts like that, it would take me no time at all to sell them, and then use that money to pay off my creditors. Fuckin’ fuck Teresa and her high roller lifestyle. Basta!

      • Chloe

        I think she thinks Andy will come to her rescue when she can’t evade them any longer. Where would the Guidices be without Andy and his unexplainable fascination with them?

      • swizzle

        I’m guessing the car is a loaner for the show like Melissa’s Bentley a few years ago. Have you ever heard more talk about a Lexus?

      • Elizabeth

        What was their life like before? Where did they live before they built that awful thing?

  2. Ruthie

    So tired of vagina talk! Plus I thought it was a little tacky to be talking about all of that in front of Rosie. Sort of disrespectful to make fun of same sex relationships.

    • anna

      I thought the same thing. Especially since she completely ignored her. I ms be honest, I NEVER liked Theresa, and I never will.

    • Matzah60

      Yes, incredibly insensitive and tacky, just like Teresa. It is perplexing to me after all the media footage of her being taken to jail by Leonard and escorted home by him that Teresa still makes reference to her jail time as her time living in a college dorm and saying she was away at camp. Even Siggy was sarcastic in her talking head about the reference of being at “camp.” Denial!

      Totally agree with you Tamara that Teresa is very resentful of Joe and blames him entirely for her stint in jail. I am convinced now that Teresa will never go with him to Italy and will more than likely divorce him. The ‘thrill’ is gone between Joe and Tre if indeed it was ever there. They were more like the Bonnie and Clyde of NJ, Italian style.

  3. ZenJen55

    Sigh of relief…I thought the same thing to Rosie. It was very disrespectful esp when saying she smelled fish. Cough Krupta vs Granville
    I love Rosie and thought she was the best looking one there. A little natural goes a long way.

    • That fish statement might of been a dig at Kathy because Rich said Kathy’s private parts smelled like fish. It was during that California RV trip when he was walking around with a woody and grossed out Melissa. Yuck.

      I like Dolores. Amazing how she remained friends with her ex-husband even though he cheated on her with some bimbo while she was pregnant. Bravo should’ve cast her on the show years ago instead of those stupid twins and Marcheezie.

      Jacqueline is a pain in the ass.

      Melissa is so phoney with this storyline.

      Teresa will never change. Love the scene where Juicy is in his office and they are discussing bills. Who are they fooling! Also, I thought the stair railings in her house were black, now they are goldish? Am I wrong? Liked that purse she had, hope it wasn’t new.

      • Matzah60

        Good call, Spunky. You jolted my memory of that gross trailer trip in CA. Bravo had to blur Rich’s ‘woody’ and he also referred to Kathy’s vagina as fishy.

        As for Teresa not forgiving Rosie and Kathy, I don’t have a problem with that because Kathy’s mother is either the sister of Teresa’s mother or father. Teresa’s mother/father and Kathy’s mother haven’t spoken for two decades. There is a big rift in that extended family. Kathy also has three brothers and all three are estranged from the family; why, I don’t know. Rosie was also an outcast in the family because she came out as a lesbian. Kathy Walkile didn’t talk to Rosie. Andy wanted her on the show and that is when they started talking again. It was all part of a storyline and feud between Kathy and Teresa several years back.

      • swizzle

        Matzah60: Thank you for the recap on the Teresa/Kathy/Rosie family situation. The conflict is much deeper than this show. Teresa has clearly made nice with Melissa for the sake of her parents. That’s probably the same reason she’s not interested in Kathy and Rosie. 1) there is a deep rift between the older generation and 2) Kathy said nasty things about Teresa’s dad during one of the reunions.

  4. Annie Marie

    Rosie isn’t Rosie in real life? Is the crazy Rosie seen at reunions (when yelling from backstage) a closer portrayal to real life Rosie?

    • Annie Marie

      And I meant Rosie as in rosie (likeable/loveable)…

      • Matzah60

        I think it’s Rosie in real life that is not so nice. If you’ve ever seen her twitter rants at both other housewives and followers, you can see what a nasty person she is in real time.

      • Annie Marie

        Ah, ok. I don’t go on twitter often, because of how nasty fights get. But I have always wondered about Rosie and whether she is genuine or not because of her (what I consider violent) outbursts during reunions.

  5. Cherry Bomb

    I love how no matter what Teresa says you can always tell how she really feels by her facial expressions… You can also see her blank expression when she’s trying to think about something. I kind of wish Bravo would give her her own show because “camp ” certainly didn’t give her a command of the English language and hearing her use the wrong words or a mispronunciation of a word is going to be my new drinking game. Worldwind got me a little buzz going.

    • Matzah60

      Lol!! I caught that ‘worldwind’ pronunciation too. Glad you got a little buzz going with this episode. I’m sure you can downright drunk listening to Teresa abuse the English language.

      • punkinseed

        My hubby and I noticed the worldwind too. Haaaa ha! Tre can sure abuse words in any language.

    • NFLNana

      She calls it a camp because it’s actual name is FPC Alderson. The letters FPC stand for Federal Prison Camp. It is also referred to as Camp Cupcake. It’s not just her either. I have a family member that was incarcerated here back in 2004. She called it camp as well. So do all of the employees and other inmates. I was stunned at how relaxed it is there compared to what we imagine a prison to be. The kicker is, it looks like an actual campus in certain areas. They wear sweat pants and sweatshirts as well. Makeup and jewelry too. It’s called “Camp Cupcake” for obvious reasons. This place is a Fed Prison, but it is a far far cry from what we see on television. Not to ramble, but quite often I see people ask why she says this, these are the real reasons why.

      • tamaratattles

        I don’t see anyone asking this as we are all aware of what FPC stands for. We also know she was not at Alderson, she was at Danbury. We all understand that Teresa wants to call it camp because she doesn’t want to admit that she went to prison. Because she doesn’t admit to anything.

      • NFLNana

        My mistake. Wrong prison. They still refer to that one as a camp as well. Long before she arrived. But they are in a sense the same type of prison, being that it’s not “hard time”. My original comment was to point out that officials and inmates within the prisons, at both Danbury and Alderson, refer to each place as a camp. From several comments above mine, it seems as though people can’t wrap their heads around why she says this. Could be that it works out great for her to call it camp, since denial is as clear as day as far as she’s concerned. This may be a generalization, but in truth many Italians won’t say prison. They say “going away”. However, Tre knew what she was doing through it all. That is a fact. She knew she was faking employment.

    • misery chick

      I almost CHOKED when she said “serotoGin”. I asked my husband if that’s what she said, and also had to rewind cuz I couldn’t believe someone being that stupid. Depressing.

      • ingrid

        Funny b/c in my head I though “Saratogan”, as in Saratoga, and even corrected she said saratonin. She also said “sangwich” again, so entertaining!

    • Worldwind got on my nerves. How about seratogans? LOL

    • StubbyG

      I have my closed caption on, it helps me with shows like these. When she said the word worldwide, closed caption had it typed like this: “worldwind” and I laughed so hard I snorted. Good stuff.

  6. Lisa j

    Who in their right mind goes BACK on tv after coming out of prison and goes RIGHT back to the lifestyle that took them down? Coo-Coo! Love the new girls though.

  7. Elizabeth

    Teresa wasn’t thinking anything about Rosie… Rosie has said that Joe & Teresa were great to her always…. I think the party was lame and Teresa tried to jazz it up with that weird gross story! Or production suggested the game… I felt the whole show was scripted… I do love how Teresa is very real with her kids… That heavy sigh that we all do with our kiddos at times! The other housewives are fake with their kids.

  8. Lynn

    I’m not sure exactly what everyone wants from T. If she made a statement that she fucked up and is very sorry no one would believe her any way. There would be all kinds of “she’s a liar” being floated around. What would be the point? As for her admitting any thing on TV……seriously? She cant be talking about any of that especially with Joe about to go off to camp.
    This is not a HW show I watch much but always read any of TT’s recaps! So just dropping in…
    RONY is “my” show…. lol

    • Minky

      What you wrote here does make some sense. A little bit. Like, yeah, Teresa is not yet in a position where she can be totally honest about everything. I get that. Yeah, there are still a lot of issues surrounding Joe, his impending incarceration, and his very likely subsequent deportation. I get that too.

      However! Teresa could play dumb, while also playing remorseful. She could say something like, “I didn’t know what we did was wrong at the time. But NOW I do. And I’m sorry for any problems I’ve caused for anybody. I’m sorry if anybody was put in a difficult situation because of anything I did.”

      You’re right. Many of us wouldn’t believe her. But we would recognize it at least as an appropriate gesture. Her actions and words now are telling everybody in TV land that she couldn’t care less about any of the problems she’s caused for anyone, including her own family and children.

      New car smell indeed! Why does she need a showroom new Lexus? She deserves a busted ass hoopty of a Gremlin, with torn vinyl seats, no heat or air conditioning, and a trunk that won’t stay closed. Harumph!

    • I can tell you what people want from Teresa: an aknowledgement that she did illegal things and some contrition. That’s really it.

      The public loves to forgive; they love a good redemption story. But first the person needs to admit that there is something to forgive in the first place.

      Teresa is still lying, still pretending that all she did was “sign some papers”, still claiming to be a victim of circumstance. THAT’S the problem.

      And no, she doesn’t need to describe in specific detail all of her crimes, although she could. The case has been tried and sentenced. There are no pending appeals. It’s over and done with. But regardless, she doesn’t need to go into all that anyway, and no, nobody is going to accuse her of lying if she admits she fucked up.

  9. Chloe

    Do we know who gave her the Lexus? Was it Andy and Bravo?

    • Minky

      I personally have no idea how Teresa got this Lexus. It sounds like the show is presenting it as a purchase made by Teresa or Joe. Here the commenters are speculating that the car might have been a gift by an outside party. Whether it’s Bravo is anybody’s guess.

      It would make sense, though. It’s a juicy little addition to the story line. The audience is expected to ask questions like: Where did the Lexus come from?; Who paid for it?; Is it one of the spoils purchased with Teresa’s ill gotten monies?; Why don’t they care that people see them driving brand new cars?; Why are they so stupid?!!!

      • One of the twins was dating a guy named Bobby and his father owns a bunch of car dealerships in the area. It has always been my understanding (and I’m not sure why) that the Lexus is from one of those dealerships in exchange for them driving it and thereby promoting Lexus. All that aside, Teresa should be ashamed to drive it since it flies in the faces of everyone they screwed. Teresa and Joe don’t care about that and we saw on WWHL when Joe said – she was coming home, she needed a car, what are yous gonna do?

    • Erica

      It can’t be a gift. It is over $10,000 (or is it 5,000?)bucks and it would really be nailed as income you would need to declare. It could be one that is owned by Bravo that she can use for “work”… or Joe’s brother for that matter, that they paid for with hidden cash.

    • Jane

      Most likely a local dealership is allowing her to drive it during filming for the publicity.

    • tamaratattles

      Yes we do, Joe violated his probation to drive to the Lexus dealer and pay cash for it.

      http://tamaratattles.com/2015/12/23/happy-felon-by-bravo-prison-release-day-teresa-guidice-is-coming-home/

      • TBD

        I get that Joe had a cash deal (for camera and public release). But is it possible there is a bigger corporate product placement deal behind the scenes? NBC would probably benefit and probably the show, and (maybe) the Guidice’s too? I don’t know?

        But I do know corprate product placement is some of the most money spent for promotion. And they usually pay a lot. A lot. And they don’t care one bit about associated negative press. All press is good press; and it generally takes a lot for the money to run away.

  10. Wonder what Greasy Giuseppe Giudice thinks of his wife’s stories about dildos and being “massaged” in prison? No wonder she came out with a smile on her face. Seriously, I’m surprised she wouldn’t keep talk like that private since she has daughters who are old enough to read what she says. Haven’t seen this episode yet, but it sounds like a good one.

    • Teresa got pretty graphic. Maybe garnering sympathy on what she had to put up with in the “dorm.” Only redeeming quality about Tre being back on this show is at least she is paying her back her creditors (I hope).

      • If she actually were paying back her debt she and that weird attorney of hers would make sure we all knew it. They’d be flashing “Paid In Full” notices all over the place. She’s not paying anyone back.

    • Erica

      I’m not surprised. Hell, Gia probably is more caught up on Orange is the New Blac (where they DON’T call it camp!) than I am.

  11. Rated R

    TT is the Sonja Morgan of blogging from multiple computers! Computer #3 and Computer #5 from the basement.

  12. CupcakeScholar

    Denial gets me through each week…I enjoy cleaning dishes…I don’t look fat today….my cat is clean enough…:-D

  13. Katherine 2.0

    Tre’s salacious stories from “camp” and “college” appear to be part of her contract with Bravo. I say that because they are so out of left field and awkward, like she’s obligated to talk about her experiences in prison, and this is what she thinks the audience wants to hear. But she cannot do it seamlessly or with any relevance.
    That said, I don’t get why some commenters see her story at the party as demeaning to Rosie. So if Rosie jokes about heterosexual sex in a vulgar way, the heterosexuals in the cast are going to get offended? What am I missing here?
    If anyone should be offended by women’s vaginas described as fishy, it should be Kathy. Ugh, Richie. He branded his wife forever with that stupid comment.

  14. Bridgett

    Dolores’s family was a bright spot…respectful, intelligent, loving. Her ex is very handsome, he can be on every episode!

  15. Margaret Shepard

    I thought the sexual comment’s were way too much TMI. Bravo is tarnishing some of her paycheck so at least that much is getting paid back.

  16. tamaratattles

    How can you forget where the Lexus came from? Joe violated probation to go buy the damn thing. With cash! http://tamaratattles.com/2015/12/23/happy-felon-by-bravo-prison-release-day-teresa-guidice-is-coming-home/

  17. Toni

    Teresa said on WWHL that the Lexus is a lease — I imagine they had to arrange it through their attorney, because who would give them credit on a car note without a significant co-signer?

    The Jacqueline and Teresa relationship is textbook Mars and Venus. Dolores hit it on the head, Jac wants to feel her feelings and Teresa wants to pretend she doesn’t have any. The only way the relationship would have a chance is if Jac settles for a cordial surface friendship

    • tamaratattles

      OH! Teresa said it on WWHL? Well then. Believe what you want.

      • Toni

        Lol – yeah, I know…consider the source. But a lease makes sense in this scenario

      • tamaratattles

        It makes absolutely zero sense. Both of them are specifically forbidden from taking out a line of credit in by their plea deal agreements. What makes sense is Teresa got a check from her book and told Joe to go buy her the SUV. Which he did. IN CASH and caught a probation violation on his state charges for driving to the dealership.

      • Toni

        Damn. If that’s the case, then yet again more evidence they’ve learned nothing — which as I’m typing this…I can’t believe I’d think they’d do anything less than dumb. I’d be socking away money in Italy or a Swiss bank account if I were in her shoes

  18. Cat

    In my Phaedra Parks voice: Everybody knows…convicted felons NEVER lie. :)

  19. gapeachinsc

    “Teresa keeps telling camp stories. They are all sexual. Make of that what you will.” LOLOLOL Those 3 lines cracked me up. When I was watching it all play out, I was like WTF??? It seemed so weird and completely out of place. And she prefaced it all by saying Jacqueline and the other one would be acting it out…It was just so weird and she seemed awkward but determined to tell this story. I don’t know – maybe it’s just me but It was really funny.

  20. I’m really liking this Season so far…shaping up to be a good cast and it’s really edited well. I like the two new gals and it seems to be just the right amount of flashbacks.

  21. LA_in_KY

    This crap makes me want to puke. My mother in law has served time in prison multiple times times. In regards to drugs. I don’t know how to I am going to explain this to my son. How do you tell your son, “yeah your grandma is a felon and that is why you cannot stay the night at her house”. Me and my boyfriend, who is my sons father, have been together for ten years. We together don’t know how to explain his grandmothers history to him when he gets older. This whole thing just is gross to me because it makes light of what many families.are going through right now.

    • LA_in_KY

      This show doesn’t really represent what the majority of “felon” women experience. That said 60 days in is a much representative of what it is like to be there.

  22. I was actually excited for what may be on this season, but 3 episodes in I just cant lol. I will probably just see it through TT’s posts, they are always better than the show anyways. What is with the “camp” reference, and she acts as if she has been at a retreat for a year ugh she just makes me mad. Jaq is by far the most fake person ever but Melissa is running a close second in that department, this whole story line is the worst bravo has done thus far. I cannot stand that Teresa gets to gallivant around and spend gobs of money like it is okay. I got into an audit situation with the IRS a few years back and until it was resolved and paid in full I could not purchase anything without a penalty, how does that not apply to her??

  23. Ktwallis

    Can we mention the fact that Joe was going to ignore a medical bill because he “didn’t know what it was for” and “they’ll bill you for anything”? WTF. You’re on national tv, at least go along with the charade here…

    It had the feeling of a setup to give Teresa the chance to look like she’s learned her lesson and has changed but no need to make Joe look like an idiot. I don’t get it.

  24. I am wondering if she has a bonus clause in her contract for mentioning crude “camp” stories every episode…she outdid herself this time.

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