How many times is Ramona contractually obligated to point out that “she” got everyone suites? We get it. The hotel is paying for the promotion. Enough. Of course Carole and Bethenny plan to sleep together. They immediately start talking about the others. Carole offers up Dorinda as a pot stirrer and Bethenny jumps right on board. Bethenny is going to torture Sonja less than usual on this trip.
Dorinda shares that she used to be a step aerobics instructor. So Bethenny needs to one up Dorinda and do a yoga move, a headstand no less on the restaurant floor. I can’t believe they are taping at a black jack table. I thought that was illegal. Does that mean they are not actually betting in this scene? Bethenny announces she is too rich to gamble and goes to bed.
That was the most noneventful housewives trip ever. I suppose it is because the Mexico trip was cancelled and this was the replacement and they didn’t have time to script any fights.
Carole’s agent says he likes the cookbook idea but he is concerned because it is a long term project. In other words, he doesn’t think the relationship will still be around when the book launches. Neither one of them seem to think the relationship will be still going on in a year. I suppose that depends on if Carole is still a housewife that can promote Adam.
We get a fake shopping trip where Sonja tells Ramona how happy she is that Bethenny is talking to her again. The girls want to throw an engagement dinner for Luann. You know, the girls that have been treating her like shit and bringing up their real and imagined prior relationships with Tom. The editing of this episode is just ridiculous. Luann is not taking Ramona’s calls so she texted Tom.
Bethenny and her paid lackey, Julia are packing for a trip to Aspen with Brynn. Julia packs the bags and hands Bethenny her medication and then tells Bethenny that she is in denial about her illness and she should not be traveling. Bethenny doesn’t want to cancel because she doesn’t want to disappoint Brynn.
Ramona meets Dorinda at a coffee shop. Dorinda tells the waitress she is stealing some Splenda because she is out at home. Really? Don’t normal people just toss a couple in the to go box or discreetly drop a couple of pack in their purse? Ramona announces that she wants to be involved with Luann’s engagement party. Dorinda knows this is a bad idea so she wants to throw it. However, the worst fights ever tend to break out at events hosted by Dorinda. Most of these women don’t even like Luann, so the whole situation is ridiculous storyline. Somehow, Ramona get mad at Luann all over again because Dorinda said the smart thing to do is to let her host the event. I mean it went from wanting to throw a party for her good friend to “fine fuck that bitch” in three seconds.
Jules has hired a potty training expert to train her almost three year old daughter to use the potty. Seriously? She old enough to say her dolly can pee pee out of her asshole but she’s not potty trained? #Judging The new nanny has the most fantastic death stare that she shoots at Jules frequently. Jules literally doesn’t know how to wipe herself after going to the bathroom.
Apparently, Bethenny goes to Aspen because she is not at the party. It’s just the remaining girls and Luann is the last to arrive. But before she does, Dorinda announces an all cast trip to Hawaii! One presumes this is because the casino trip was a total dud. Sonja and Ramona immediately start talking about their prior relationships with Tom. Because we have not heard enough of that. Then we get Carole, who hates Luann being super nice to Luann in a confessional and at the table. Carole even brought Luann an engagement gift. She lets us know she is taking the high road. This episode is just so weird and disjointed and all about nothing. Everyone is all dressed up and Luann arrives in jeans looking freshly fucked and super happy.
Luann shows off her ring, it’s a beautiful canary yellow diamond with white trillion cut diamonds on either side. Sonja makes fun of the quality in her confessional. What jealous bitches these women are behind Luann’s back. In person, things seem to go as well as can be expected.
Next Week: Is that the Hawaii trip? It looks like Florida. And it’s just more bitching about Tom and Luann.