Well the time has finally come for the return of the recently released Felon by Bravo to make her joyous return to the ginormous house built from fraudulent funds. To Teresa it all seems like a bad dream, something horrible that happened to her through no fault of her own. We begin with the car ride from the prison. She is driven home by her really interesting celebrity lawyer. He’s been stuck to this family like glue since January of 2015 as if he has no other clients. It looks like we will have to wait for the reuniting to be seen though because filming started and we first have to use the footage that was shot without her.
I am in the minority in that I like Melissa Gorga and Joe. They haven’t been convicted of anything yet, they are not being investigated by the Feds that I know of, and they don’t have any health related storylines. Frankly, that’s about all I can hope for at this point. So I will tolerate the scenes of her opening “her” new boutique. I believe she has invested in that about as much as she invested in that weird garbage truck business with the shady guy who went to jail. Her storyline this season is that Joe doesn’t want Teresa to work.
I liked the scene at the kid’s baseball game. Joe is worried that Teresa won’t want to come to their house for Christmas. He’s also worried that she won’t be able to because of her house arrest. Melissa is worried about Teresa coming because Teresa would not put her on her contact or visitation list. They haven’t had any contact since Teresa went to prison.
Sweet baby Jesus! Joe got fully undressed, took a shower and put on new clothes with cameras on him the entire time.
How can you not love a woman who decides to get a full face lift days before starting to film a reality show. She’s awesome. Dolores sounds like a hot mess in fun “eating a box of donuts on the stoop” sort of way.
I used to tolerate Jacqueline until her son was diagnosed with autism. Then it just wasn’t funny anymore. Now she suddenly thinks she has to be the face of autism. She does this by making it all about her. How his speech delays effect her. She and Chris even claim the reason for all of their financial drama is because of the high cost of his treatments. When she started forcing that adorable child to endure strangers in his house with bright light and cameras in his face, it was clear she had no idea how to raise an autistic child in the environment most comfortable FOR HIM. The season she left that boy to fly to LA to get a huge plastic surgery so she could improve her self esteem and they disrupted the boys sleep routine so that he could film her coming home infuriated me. Not to mention the weeks of down time where she could not care for her child after surgery. But tonight I hate her for dragging the boy out to do tricks for the camera. The boy should be on a gluten free/ casein free diet at best but since that would be very time consuming for Jacqueline and disrupt her life, I’d settle for a diet where the word “donut” wasn’t in his limited lexicon. It infuriates me. And if this season is a billion comments about autism where idiots far and wide decide that the comment section here is where they should write their thesis on the autistic child…. to quote Andy Cohen, “Stop or I’m going to murder myself!”
Meanwhile, Ashley was called to move back home so that Jacqueline would have a storyline and someone to film with her. Chris gives a monologue about how broke the are. They did pay their five figure mortgaged for several months but recently were told they could keep the house. Because apparently that is how things work in New Jersey. I also heard that in the list that New Jersey keeps about who owes the much in back taxes they are near if not right on the top! Chris is sad they all had to sell their watches. The fuck?
Jacqueline gets a note from Teresa via the odd duck attorney. She make fun of Teresa while reading the short note to Chris. With that attitude it’s clear these two don’t even try to reconcile. Jacqueline did make a funny joke where she wonders if the note was written by her ghost writer.
Jaqueline has a holiday party. It’s an all cast event for all non-incarcerated cast. Melissa and Jac discuss their notes from prison and their nerves about seeing Teresa. They have no idea what to expect. Siggy arrives without the bandages and she’s just funny no matter what she says. I haven’t made up my mind about Dolores yet. Mostly because the lawyer got more air time than she did. It’s good to see Rosie and Kathy again.
Over at Chex Guidice, no expense is being spared on lavish Christmas decorations that rival the White House. Lots of heartwarming scenes of Joe and the kids “doing the decorating.”
The lawyer gets a scene with Joe telling him the entire process of her reentry into the house. Two hours after she arrives the ankle bracelet guy will show up to put the device on her. Is this really necessary? It seems like a waste of money, although she does have to pay for it, so I guess in that sense, it’s just another little punishment for her.
It’s clear that Gia has been running the show and is highly irritated with Joe for pretending like he is the adult in the house.
The paparazzi are everywhere for Teresa’s arrival. There are cops outside her house. She is being followed by paparazzi as well. It’s a zoo. Gia wakes up all the girls and tries to get them dressed and contain Milania.
Teresa hugs Joe and says, “I missed my house…and I missed you.”
The scene with the girls, especially Gia….um… made it difficult to type.
Gabriella and Gia both want to go to school.
Teresa says that she was “very naïve” and is not going to make the same mistake again.
And so it begins…