Brandi Glanville’s New Show, Famously Single, Premieres

Famously Single
Yikes! I had to endure two full minutes of Botched before this show started and now I’m not sure I will see the end of the show. I’m not really sure that I want to watch this show. I find Aubrey O’Day  to be even more hateable  than Brandi. I feel bad that Pauly D hooks up with her and is still seeing her. Although Brandi and Calum seem to have some sort of a thing going on, they live on separate continents so it’s not that serious.  But they do text a lot.

The new shrink is Dr. Darcy Sterling. She dresses a lot like Brandi, I’m just pointing that out already. She greets Brandi first. Brandi says she got a divorce because her husband like a variety of pussy an not just one. She says she is still single because she sabotages relationships when the guy gives any indication of cheating. Who knew I had something in common with Brandi? Except for me, it’s not just cheating.  It’s lying and betrayal of any sort.

Next is Jessica White.  I have no idea who she is but I always think it is funny when black people have the last name “White” and when white people have the last name “Black.” She’s a “supermodel.” I also feel like supermodels must be just gagging on their geritol at this young crop of women who all claim to be supermodels.  She seems like a starfucker.

Time For This Week's Meeting of the Aubrey O'Day Hate Club

Aubrey O’Day

Aubrey O’Day is the first and one of the few people I have ever written a HATE POST about. It was very popular. She ruined her season of Celebrity Apprentice.

Next is Somaya Reece. I have no idea who she is. Apparently she is on Love and Hip, Hop.  I never got into that show because of the violence. It’s probably tamer than RHOA by now though. She looks like a scrapper.

Pauly D was the only redeemable guy on Jersey Shore.

I didn’t even recognize Josh Murray. My DVR did one of those things where it stops and starts a whole new recording so I missed most of Pauly and Josh’s interview. He is from The Bachelorette and was the winner during Andi’s season. They are both from Atlanta. Word on the curb was he was just as douche who wanted to be on TV. His brother is on now, and Jo Jo seems very smitten with him. NO SPOILERS PLEASE!

Willis McGahee is apparently a former football player. At least he admits he is a cheater right off the bat.

Calum Best is gorgeous. He’s a reformed playboy and former model.

The four ladies are seated across from the four guys for a round of speed dating where we learn that:

  • Brandi has worked with Calum on a modeling gig and fucked all of her friends.
  • Pauly D hasn’t had a girlfriend since high school.
  • Josh hasn’t had a relationship since The Bachelor
  • Willis has 8 children by 7 women (he asks us not to judge him. Too late!)
  • Audrey decides that Willis’ spawning abilities mean he has a lot of money. She’s so dumb.
  • Calum is an American with a Madonnaesque  British accent. He’s lived there a lot longer than she did.
  • Somaya is from El Salvador yet speaks like a black gay man from Atlanta.
  • Jessica said something about French women not dating but preferring group outings.

The first one on ones with Dr. Sterling let us know that:

Pauly D is a good guy. He doesn’t date and never meets anyone except at after parties after he DJs. He hooks up with lots of girls but it’s more like sexual release than any sort of dating pool. This explains why he thinks dating Aubrey is okay.

At the first mixer we learn that:

  • Brandi brought her vibrators and lingerie with her because it’s a long two weeks.
  • Somaya calls Brandi ” very mediocre” and “A typical type of basic chick”
  • Somaya and Aubrey both seem jealous of Brandi. She has captivated Calum already.
  • Aubrey says, “I had to reduce my mind a lot to converse with her.”  Aubrey is way dumber than Brandi.
  • Somaya literally strokes her long cheap weave as she talks to men. With both hands.
  • Somaya talks about how she has so many groupies and how hard that is
  • Josh is equally as shallow as Somaya, they should hook up and make beautiful retarded children.
  • Willis hits on Jessica HARD CORE
  • Jessica is not interested and seems very quiet and so far well-mannered.
  • Brandi doesn’t want any more kids but she can’t stand that her boys are growing up
  • Jessica is very kind to Brandi
  • Brandi’s last boyfriend still loves her but he cheated and her kids don’t get on with him

Famously Single 2

The crew goes out to a bar two undercover dating coaches have been planted and we learn that:

  • These fools LOVE shots!
  • Aubrey tells Brandi that Willis has the biggest dick she’s ever seen (she was staring though his pants earlier)
  • Willis talks to a blond woman (probably a coach) and immediately asks her to join him in the bathroom for some fun.
  • A hot guy (COACH ALERT) shows up with a bottle of champagne for all four ladies.He engages Aubrey. He was the perfect guy but Jessica wasn’t about to let the white chick have the hot black guy so she dragged Aubrey away from him.
  • Brandi tells a cute mechanical engineer (that’s a panty dropper for me) that she is in real estate and Pauly D and Somaya try to throw him out of their VIP because he is wearing a pink shirt. Then a very drunk Pauly points to his shoes and starts screaming, “WHAT ARE THOSE!” and pointing at them.
  • Somaya tells the guy to “please get the fuck away from their table!” Brandi is actually embarrassed for the guy and mad at Somaya ad Pauly D.  She wanted to talk to the guy.
  • Brandi apologizes about Somaya and Pauly to the poor guy profusely.
  • Outside, Brandi tells Somaya (like a normal person, not like Brandi) that it was not acceptable to treat people she is speaking with like she did.
  • Somaya goes bat shit and starts ripping off her coat to fight her!
  • Brandi stands right up to her and says “Are you going to take your earrings off now? Is that what is about to go down her?”
  • HUGE DRAMA VERBAL WAR and Somaya throws a hand at Brandi which she grabs and taunts her about. Brandi wins!
  • Calum calms Brandi down but can’t wrangle her into one of the limos.
  • Somaya screams about scary assed white bitches.
  • Brandi screams, “I’ll beat the fuck off that cunt”
  • I love this show
  • I may be a Brandiloon
  • Brandi tries to squash things at the house. Somaya tries to escalate and bring in Pauly D. Brandi says, “I know you think you are famous, but I don’t have any idea who you are, and you can’t treat people like shit!”

The Group Session where he night before is discussed occurs. The Doctor is pissed that a fight nearly happened on night one. Here we learn:

  • Somaya tells the Doc that she was only trying to help the guy out. What a liar. She told the guy to get the fuck away from the table.
  • Calum has only split from his last girlfriend four months ago
  • Willis will fuck anything that moves
  • Josh is a dick
  • Aubrey is a nutcase
  • Somaya can’t get a man
  • Jessica doesn’t put much out there. She has a part time lover in a fulltime world
  • Brandi continues going back to old relationships that don’t work because it’s safer.

At the end they were introducing the coaches. I hope it was the pink shirt guy. But I think it was the hot black guy with the champagne and the blonde that Willis wanted to screw in the bathroom.

I was not very optimistic  about this show. But I  like it. I was not planning on liking Brandi, but so far she and Calum are the best two people on the show.

Whatever. I have a right to change my mind. :)


Filed under Brandi Glanville, Entertainment News

27 responses to “Brandi Glanville’s New Show, Famously Single, Premieres

  1. Dee

    Brandi looks good, not puffy anymore. Maybe she’s learned some things. I hope so.

  2. Auntie Velvet

    I don’t think this is a spoiler, but it’s not Josh Murray’s brother (Aaron Murray, an NFL player) who is on Bachelorette.

    It’s NFL player Aaron Roger’s brother, Jordan, who is on this season.

    Too much football, Aaron brothers, and J-names.

    I THINK that’s right!

  3. Lolagyrl

    Willis McGahee dated Kandi on RHOA for about a minute in 2010 after her fiancé was killed.
    I wonder what he’s been up to since!!

  4. Blondesense

    Callum and Brandi is a very bad idea. He is a sometimes sober, sometimes not train wreck. He is best known for having a famous, well loved footballer father who disinherited him due to his antics before he died. We know how Brandi treats her friends who struggle with sobriety.

  5. JeniBo

    I had to watch after I read your recap. I noticed Brandi had a bottle of water in the club when she took up for the pink shirt guy. I was proud of her, maybe she’s learned a few things over the years. I always felt bad for her because it was like she just couldn’t help herself from saying/doing crazy or awful things to her own detriment, but I found myself rooting for her again.

    • Not surprising that she was drinking water. Brandi has always maintained that she drank a lot filming RHOBH to either get herself loose enough to make dramatic TV, or simply just to tolerate being around the fakeness and mind games of her costars like LVP, Kyle etc. Brandi haters wanted to believe she’s an alcoholic but she’s clearly fine. She’s never in trouble with the law, is always working hard on side ventures like her podcast, writing, or wine business, and has always appeared to be a good mother.

      • JustJenn

        Brandi had a DUI and has had drunken appearances off of RHOBH (tampongate) but if she’s grown up and changed then that’s good for her and her children! But just like Yolanda I am glad she’s off of RHOBH and I will not be following her on any new adventures.

        I came for Josh and am leaving highly disappointed.

  6. I like to argue with the author of the post with false information. I should probably look shit up before I do that.

  7. puravidacostarica

    Brandiloon! {Giggles}

  8. bluesuedeshoe

    Thanks for the hilarious recap of the new show, I definitely will add it to the DVR. Interesting how these folks are hellacious to each other immediately, then, once the season ends, they’re best friends. Must be “girl power.”

  9. J stone

    Child please…

  10. JoJoFLL

    Ugh. This was beyond awful. Brandi and Column were the only redeeming two.

  11. So glad we’re seeing the true Brandi again, finally. I think we saw the real Brandi on Celebrity Apprentice too. The way she behaves on RHOBH is a combination of a villain edit from Bravo and Brandi acting out negatively due to the stress of being around liars and manipulators, i.e. half the cast.

    • tamaratattles

      Yes dear. We know you are a Brandiloon. I’m exhausted and had a rough week. I may not be thinking clearly. :)

    • tamaratattles

      Yes dear. We know you are a Brandiloon. I’m exhausted and had a rough week. I may not be thinking clearly. :)

  12. Allison

    I noticed right away that Brandi’s white girl ghetto talk has gotten worse. Calling someone “boo” and everything else she tries in her shrilly Beverly Hills voice. No. Girl bye.

    • Minky

      I can’t forget Brandi’s spirited use of the word “deuces”. She could totally be a member of NWA or Public Enemy. Like, totes!

      That being said, as horrible as Brandi has been on RHOBH, I do realize that reality shows are scripted and there always has to be a villain/scape goat. No, I’m not saying that Brandi is a saint, but if we were to have learned anything from TT’s post of Danielle Staub’s daughter’s essay, then we should look at all of these people as performers and take their behavior with a grain of salt. There are some acceptions, (Phaedra, Yolanda, Vicki), but these are a bunch of people trying to make a living. And I love a good redemption story. Let’s hope that Brandi has finally found her marbles. And Jesus. Ha!

  13. Rach

    Calum’s dad is George Best. One of Britains (Northern Ireland) most famous and beloved football players . Calum grew up in LA with his mother but lived here as well. He’s done every show here you can imagine

  14. I won’t watch another bravo show with Brandi, didn’t even read the synopsis, but I do like reading the viewers opinions

  15. AmyinLasVegas

    I’m glad TT only had nice things to say about Pauly D. I got to serve him once and he was so nice. I was surprised because watching the show I never thought he would be so charming and nice. He was being weirdly stalked by this couple- mostly the guy trying to take photos and stare at him but Pauly never requested them to be kicked out, never complained and didn’t demand special treatment. He was very down-to-earth. I actually found myself attracted to him and I was like, “d-mn if I was single I guess I would be a groupie!” After meeting him I totally see how girls would hook up with him when before I was thinking ‘gross’ because he has hooked up with so many girls.

  16. T D

    Musr be a little touched in the head to put your tongue on a used slip and slide. There’s not enough Listerine in the world. Like lickin’ the inside of a thundermug.

  17. I am a big fan of Somaya from Love N Hip Hop. I did not recognize her because she looked so beautiful. I kept staring at her face asking myself “Who is she, I know her” then it hit me that she was Somaya. She was the girl that Chrissy Lampkin bullied because she was overweight and “looked nothing like her modeling photos.” I remember when they gave Somaya the boot because her storyline was boring. I never found her boring and I’m happy to see her on this freakshow. Pauly D and Aubrey are a perfectly ridiculous, vapid couple. I can’t wait until they get married for 3 days and divorce. This is going to be a great trainwreck (cough) I mean, show to watch. I look forward to TT recapping this one !!

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