Yolanda’s Book Deal Is Signed And Ready to Go

Yolanda's Book Cover

St. Martin’s Press

 

Remember when St. Martin’s Press had some semblance of credibility? Not so much anymore. Yolanda has signed a book deal with them to regale us with her stories of her “invisible disability.”  This scam gets more lucrative by the day. Where the hell did she get that puppy from? Is it just randomly photoshopped in?

I can’t with this woman.

I presume this will be filed in the FICTION aisles.

My friends, family and coworkers judge me.

My friends, family and coworkers judge me.

“I am determined to find a cure affordable for all,” Hadid tells PEOPLE exclusively. “And it has been my dream to write a book to share all the treatments, knowledge, and spiritual growth I have acquired these past four years. As I’ve said previously, it’s my Dutch foundation that gives me the balls and courage to share my raw and unedited story with the world! By sharing my journey in this book, I hope to offer a voice and encouragement to people who are ill and find themselves struggling while uncovering the mystery of chronic disease.”

The book is scheduled to be published by St. Martin’s Press in February 2017.

122 Comments

Filed under Dumbasses, Entertainment News, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

122 responses to “Yolanda’s Book Deal Is Signed And Ready to Go

  1. SLM

    I just CAN’T with this. I’m with you, TT, I’ll expect to see this displayed in the FICTION section…where I will pass right on by it like the meaningless junk it is.

    • She should be careful! That dog might have a tick that jumps off and bites her and gives her Key Lyme disease, which is even worse than Cherry Lymeaid Slushee disease. But I’m guessing that given her back yard, she is misdiagnosed and has Chronic Lemyn Disease! Somebody PLEASE go to YouTube and watch that genius David Foster’s duets with Olicia Newton John when she had the Farah and he had the Mullet. King of writing the kind of pop songs that the a Captain and Tenille sang… And his Olympic Symphony is an absolute New Coke commercial miracle! Then there’s the theme from that Brat Pack movie with Demi Moore and Emilio Estevez…… My KING! P.S. Whomever dubbed herself Limebrain is a genius. P.P.S. From her behavior and media, I believe she does have Lyme Disease as well as several other tick-borne bad chronic infections/parasites like Babesia which flares up every few weeks and causes agony. But plenty of us have had just as misunderstood invisible diseases (unless you see something wrong when a 5’8″ woman weighs 93 and wakes up screaming in pain several times a night), people except our rheumatologist so don’t believe us, we live in horrible constant pain and gradually lose our ability to walk—nobody calls us heroes or hands us awards or vows to cure us or even really cares. It’s just life, and life’s horribly unfair and barely worth living….. Yo will find that when you become your illness, people get damned sick of you real quick. My phone hasn’t rung since my mother died.

  2. WhyOWhy

    So it is going to be a coffee table book of all her Instagram photos from her “journey?”

    • In all seriousness, I do remember her saying something about how it was going to be mostly her Instagram pictures. Something about that’s how most people read these days.

      • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

        She’s so bizarre

      • Matzah60

        Yes, me too, lamebrain. She said it would be a coffee table book of photographs of all of her procedures, days in bed, and so on and so on. I know this isn’t an epiphany, for most of you, but I remember TT writing a blog when David and Yo announced her divorce. TT said she knew about it two years prior to their official announcement. I think it was two years anyway. It seems Yo was disenchanted with David before getting married or soon thereafter. I do think Yo masterminded and then cajoled David to get her on the show where she could set up the plans for divorce, all while setting her kids in modeling jobs that catapulted them into fame, using David to pay for all these nutty and unorthodox procedures (without even a positive lime test if I recall correctly), posting endless pictures on Twitter and Instagram, and plotting her divorce plans for continued alimony.

        What a POS!! I don’t know if she’s crazy as a loon or she’s a diabolical lunatic.

      • Matzah60

        I wrote limebrain. It took me three times to write it without getting an autocorrect of lamebrain. So sorry Lime. I apologize as it wasn’t intentional.

      • No worries. And even if I did care, my lime brain wouldn’t even remember 5 minutes from now. :)

      • PaganChick

        Why would any one want a book full of sick selfies? That makes no sense..

      • WhyOWhy

        Ugh… I pity the people who will spend money on this crock.

  3. Margarett

    Oh, good grief!

  4. Vickie Davies

    Yolanda’s memoirs… coming to a charity shop near you

  5. i hope Yolanda’s journey finally gets some real, visible scrutiny because of this book. The cover is already lying. She doesn’t have Lyme. She has Chronic/Neurological Lyme which is not transmitted by a tick bite. It’s a quack diagnosis to cover a list of symptoms that can’t be explained.

  6. Puddy

    One thing for sure, Yolanda is not just a pretty face. She has used the fame of RHWBH, for her children’s careers and for her own ventures, in a way that rivals even Bethenny.

    • Minky

      I gotta agree with this. Yolanda’s a lot of things, but stupid ain’t one of them. To add to your Bethenny comparison, Yolanda did the whole thing looking fab and as cool as a cucumber, smiling like the cat that ate the canary. Bethenny, on the other hand, always looks like she’s two seconds away from being the next Chernobyl.

  7. Calipatti

    I was taught when a person begins a story with Believe Me, it usually is a falsehood.

    Also when I read or hear anything I want to retain, I source the author, publication and the publications ownership.
    Those searches have often been more informative that the article of my interest.

    I doubt Yolands book will have a source other than herself. When a doctors treatment or words are repeated there will not be a real source article.
    I’m assuming most people know her as former model, David Fosters ex-wife, Hadid’s ex-wife and Mother of —

    Those titles will be their interest in her. What does she have, what did she do, to marry those men?
    That will be the books first buying appeal, Lyme is maybe next.

    Yolanda is making her name known.

  8. marywanna

    I’m so done with Yolanda. ugh

  9. marc

    It will be in the bin at the dollar store by June 2017…

  10. Judilu

    And of course her damn feet!..

  11. Sosueme

    The balls on her!

    • Minky

      Didn’t you read her quote? It’s because she’s Dutch. All Dutch people have balls. ALL OF THEM! Like, duh! Hahahahahaha!

      Seriously, though. I’ve known some Dutch people and they’re actually very nice and down-to-earth. Yes, very strong work ethic, but also kind and just. I think Yolanda is not their best choice for an ambassador.

  12. TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

    I find the title an odd choice.

  13. FarFromPerfekt

    In the words of Kim Richards …”Blah, blah, blah!”

  14. V

    What part of Yo’s search for the affordable cure has been affordable ? I don’t understand how anyone can be inspired or encouraged by her illness unless they too are looking for a way to get around their prenup to their rich husband.

    • Dracla Dunning

      So true. How many people biten by a tick and developing Lymes disease can afford to travel the world and pay for the outrageous treatments she has under gone and will suggest? Most can barely afford treatment options in the USA? Believe me…not many. This book is ludicrous. Is that a wolf pup she is holding?

  15. kendrawm

    ugh, that is all I can muster for this women

  16. BigDaddyMike

    Tamara, you are Wrong!
    I Believe Yolanda!
    I Too have an Incurable Disease I am battling…
    It’s called LEMON DISEASE.
    When it flares up, i cant read, write, or understand…..All i can do during Flare Ups is Shop, Lecture at My Job, and Grade Exams.
    When my LEMON, not to be confused with LYME, was Diagnosed, I IMMEDIATELY went to Las Vegas, Mardi Gras, a Beyonce concert, And a tapping of The Price Is Right in search of a Cure.
    Please leave Yolands and her Lyme alone. And PLEASE keep me and my LEMON DISEASE in Prayer.

  17. PopcornAndVodka

    Quick! Publish another post so I don’t have to see her stupid face every time I go to your page!

  18. swizzle

    Can people start wearing shoes again in photo shoots? Who started this horrible trend? And really…that’s not Yo’s dog, so how weird that she’s holding a random dog in the photo. It will probably give her fleas, and one of the fleas will bite her, and she’ll get awful flea-itis, and she’ll have to raise money, awareness and support for all of those who suffer from flea-itis. Can it Yo. No one cares.

  19. glynns2002

    Has anyone realized in the top picture she has David Fosters hair? I hope she never graces my television set again.

  20. Ricky Lee Jones

    Honestly, who would even shell out two bucks for this dribble? I highly doubt her “fans” are going to pay good money for this.

    • Matzah60

      I disagree. There are many people who have dubbed David the bad guy and she has just as many loyal, bleeding heart twitter fans as she has enemies.

      Let’s not forget all those people who were at the Lyme Ball or whatever the hell it was called where she was honored and introduced by her daughter. That whole crazy group of attendees at the charity ball will buy this overpriced piece of crap; and then as someone said above, it will land up in the bargain bin for a buck….

    • Sam

      There are people kissing her ass on Instagram all day long.

  21. peachteachr

    Well, bless her heart.
    I loved Dixie Carter in Designing Women. She said, (and after all these years I am probably paraphrasing) “In the South we don’t hide our crazy relatives in the attic. We bring them right down in the parlor.” Just came to my mind when I read the title if Yo’s book. Girl, please.

    • Minky

      I love that quote too! I remember that episode. So good!

      • Sosueme

        ..,and the first time I read TT’s blog, either a commenter or TT mentioned putting “our crazy out on the front porch.” Struck my funny bone and I’ve been an avid reader, rabid fan ever since.

        Hope you file an IT violation in CA. We take our INtellectual Property law very seriously….

  22. Yolanda, if you really care so much for others, why do you encourage us to stick needles into our veins…each and every puncture is an entrance wound for staph.

    For your enlightenment…a staph infection can be far more miserable than everything you have endured.

    Happy Kwanza

  23. T D

    This should be sub-titled My Battle with Visible Delusion and Ass Snakes.

  24. Rose

    So is this going to be a book of mystical quackery treatments with a compilation of all of her weirdo photos? She’s challenging everyone with the tittle “Believe Me”. I don’t and I certainly won’t be buying this nonsense.

  25. Dee

    My eyes my eyes! I can’t unsee this! How f’d up is this?

    • Dee

      Sorry for my earlier post. For some reason I thought she was going to advise people on what to do. She is in very good shape for someone that has been sick for years. Why would anyone want to read a book about her “journey”. There are many people who are suffering, ill, lost. They don’t need to read her book, I’m disgusted.

  26. Carolt

    I hope she hasn’t settled with David yet and he can use this against any claim for support she is trying to get from him. Also, the latest pictures of her looking very fit while frolicking in the ocean.

  27. Sam

    I wouldn’t purchase this, or read it, if it was the last book on earth. I can’t believe someone gave this certifiably insane bitch a book deal. My only hope is that it leads her credibility to be slaughtered by reviewers and doctors who point out her bullshit.

    • Minky

      Wishful thinking Sam. She already did a test run on the Dr. Oz show. It went swimmingly. He didn’t question one,single, solitary aspect of her whole convoluted, unbelievable story. And to think I used to like that quack.

  28. Cat

    “An affordable cure for all”? If she’s so concerned about affordability, why not just offer a free eBook online?

    I’m not buying it…or her book.

    Maybe she will pick up a tic from the dog. That would be pure Karma.

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      I don’t believe she does any fundraising to help low income individuals with the costs of their treatment for chronic lyme, or am I wrong?

      • Cat

        I agree. But, she keeps saying her mission is to find an affordable cure for all.

        Kind of like OJ on a mission to find the “real killers”.

        It makes her sound like she’s running for office, or something.

    • tamaratattles

      Maybe she will go on a book tour to a city that actually has infected deer ticks and pick one up there!

    • Matzah60

      Great point, Cat. It is very difficult to get a company to publish your book these days. However, publishing is an industry like any other and it’s all about the bucks. Yolanda’s first and second’s husband’s name bring instant recognition and morbid curiosity. I doubt they are publishing this book based on the contents or informative (or lack thereof) use of this book/non-book.

      This book is not about helping anyone except for Yo’s bank accounts. Like you said, she could have easily offered an e-book. Yo could have also self-published on Amazon. She is dishonest and self-serving.

      • Minky

        Years ago, while I was still in college, I used to work in a book store. This was right around Y2K. As I remember the self-help, cure-your-diseases gurus were running rampant back them too. I can’t begin to tell you how many goddamn diet books there were, as well as health and wellness. It was ridiculous back then and it’s even more ridiculous now. Why da fuq would anybody ever want any health advice, especially concerning any serious illness, from a Z-list celebrity? WHY DAMMIT?!!!

  29. Didnt we just see the movie? Oh i get it. I remember n school when i had to do a book report i wld if i could watch the movie instead of reading. Check, been there done that.

  30. Elizabeth

    As a cancer survivor I find this so disgusting! Shame on her!

  31. Barbara R

    Affordable…hmmm. I bet that she is going to partner with one of her quack doctors to come out with a line of remedies and supplements to treat the ‘invisible disease’. She will use her notoriety to market these to her adoring fans. Useless remedies for the unfound disease.

    • Lindsay

      It’s the Yolanda Branda vitamins, supplements, and snake oils!
      Sick? Okay maybe not really sick but feeling kind of tired from staring into your glass refrigerator, discouraging your children from their educations, and devising ways to get out of your pre-nup with YOUR KING? Try the Yolanda Branda Lemon Flavored Placebo Pills.

  32. ninjapanda1

    Of For Fucks Sake.

  33. Friday'smom

    I’m Dutch and I’m embarrassed by this idiot. Is that a random puppy- just to make her more likeable? Doesn’t she know that dogs can carry ticks?

  34. Shannah

    “Daisy, quick – go find a dog that matches my eyes!”

  35. My money is on Daisy being the ghost writer.

    • Minky

      Yeah, but really, though. As TT mentioned, Yolanda claimed to have brain damage so bad that she couldn’t read, write, watch TV, listen to music, or drive a car. All while being called all kinds of beautiful by all of her doctors.

      Writing a book, even a horrible one, is a lot of work. When did she have the time? Wasn’t she in bed convalescing for the past 3-10 years?

  36. BigDaddyMike

    I HEARD…..Now this just what I heard…..YOLANDA convinced Beyonce to do a Benefit Concert to Raise Money for the Disease. …And My Disease as well
    It’s being titled LEMON-LYME Research Benefit Concert…
    It will be streamed Live on TIDAL…

  37. jen

    Well, well well. TT SO called it! Omg. This chick is so nuts! Wow. Who is going to buy this? Is she starting a cult?? This is crazy

  38. jen

    Book tour with Brook Ayers lol. Gosh she was cured, Bella was cured and a book is secured all within months of ditching David. Yep balls or cons!

  39. Juneau

    Don’t you see? The Book Tour will be followed by Yolanda’s supplement line, healthy living website and her own reality show! Hope it stops with book!

    • Sabrina

      Most important- She’ll be hosting while Daisy provides weekly colonics/enemas as part of the program- in her posh building in LA. But it will have a refrigerator to walk into and select your fruit treatment.

  40. Kelly

    You best believe Yolanda will buy up a shit load of copies so she makes the NYT best seller.

  41. JustJenn

    What a creep. What’s going to happen when she breaks her back again or picks up Parvovirus from the puppy after her book and lifestyle brand fail? Will there be a sequel? Or will she just go back to being a bored housewive who never gets the attention that she so desperately craves?

  42. More Tea Please!

    My Enema, Myself and I…a bunch of watered down shit by Yolanda Ex-Foster.

  43. Carl

    Why this just occurred to me I’ll never know…I’m slow, I guess, but ALL those treatments had to have been awful; painful or at the very least, uncomfortable…all for money? I have to remind myself that, in my opinion (🙄), besides being a con artist, she must be seriously mentally ill. How the F*%# has nobody detailed the GLARING inconsistencies in her “journey”, besides Tamara & the woman whose link T provided? I wish someone would have asked her when she began using her butt pellet (yet another image I’ll never get out of my mind) during the reunion. I don’t believe in burning books but JESUS, somebody hand me a match…

  44. Carl

    Sorry for that rambling-ass comment, I’m just so pissed off when someone fakes a disease while there are people out there who are extraordinary sick. By the way, why the hell hasn’t David or Mohammed fought her? Does she have THAT much s*%# on them? Ugh!😡

  45. KSerena8k

    It’s also transparently self-serving that she changed her name “back to” “Yolanda Hadid.” Gee …. I wonder why?

    She married a guy named “Hadid”, took his name, and then got divorced, obviously for a reason at the time. She married a relatively famous guy named “Foster” and if I recall correctly, took his name and went by “Yolanda Foster.” One or more of her daughters becomes famous under the surname of “Hadid”. She splits up with Foster and goes back, NOT to her own maiden name, but to her FIRST husband’s name — for branding purposes.

    I am sure that if none of her kids had become celebrities, and were, say, studying accounting, she’d be going by “Yolanda Foster.”

    • Lindsay

      Is it even legal? I mean when you divorce and change your name, aren’t you relinquishing those rights? I agree, why not the maiden name she was known by as FAMOUS SUPERMODEL

  46. 25

    No ghost writer?! How can she write a book when she can’t read & write? Oh yeah, she got her silicone leakage removed. #invisiblediseases #leakytits

  47. Okay, so my screen name pretty much says it all. 😂

  48. My mom fragile, hard working, 60 plus year old mother was diagnosed with lymes disease and was cured, albeit a year and a half later. She followed her doctors plan and continued with the antibiotic therapy that is the recommended treatment.

    That is why I don’t take yo seriously. Flying around the world trying these mystery treatments? How can you expect a single treatment to work an overnight miracle when it’s been proven that a long-term antibiotic therapy can treat and cure lymes. There is a cure and it’s worked for many of my friends and family members (and some dogs). We are from NJ/PA and tics are prevalent in our are. Lymes disease is no mystery to is and your horsefly story is a bunch of bs. /end rant… Whew

  49. Dee

    Terri, thank you for sharing. I hope your Mom is better now. Going through 2 chemo treatments in 4 years, Yolanda makes me so sick. I was weak for years, looking for some help. Time was the only thing that helped. Yolanda just went from doctor to doctor til she found someone that agreed with her diagnosis. Obviously no one in the US agreed with her, allegedly.

    • She is doing great now, thank you! I’m sorry you had to go through that. That’s exactly what angers people the most about her. Most people have seen suffering from a debilitating disease or have suffered themselves. And her world-wide selfie/cure tour is just a slap in everyone’s face.

      I hope you are doing well and feeling strong and happy!

  50. I should write a coffee-table book for the incurable disease that I have, too.

  51. Lindsay

    Can we start a pool: how many times the word “journey” is used in the book? Does anyone volunteer to read this piece of shit and find out? Who’s the dog? I feel like if she had one we would see it all over IG…

  52. BigDaddyMike

    The only reason i would purchase that book…
    Is to rip the pages out and use them as toilet tissue during a bout with Violent Diarrhea.
    Lets cut tge Lyme shit Yolanda. You’re Stupid. Accept it and Stop blaming your Mental Malfunction on Lyme. It isan Insult to Those who TRULY are battling it.
    Go Hoe out that Aging Monkey between your legs to the next Desperate Sugar Daddy looking for a BEARD.
    We, The Prople, are sick of you….AND your constant whining about Lyme is Making my LEMON DISEASE Flair up.
    Thanks and God Bless.

  53. JoJoFLL

    This book is sure to be a huge critical and commercial success just like Kim Kardashian’s selfie book was.

  54. JKR

    Now would be the time to take a bow. You called it Tamara

  55. Sabrina

    It surely is. TT! Thanks very much for publishing those articles when you did – including the medical research that proved that, given the incidence of Chronic Lyme and Lyme in California during the period, had Yo and her children had it they would have created a higher incidence of Lyme/CL than existed, among other things. ( Allegedly)

    The information you provided really clarified the situation and helped many of us who want to be sympathetic and understanding to those who suffer from true illness , as opposed to this manipulator and her nonsense. These are the cases you wish a serious psychiatrist could work with and help sort through.
    But the truth is this lady has been cunning, manipulative and narcissistic from day one- and it’s been visible to those watching carefully. I hate that there are some sad desperate people unable to see through the nonsense- and sincerely hope a serious medical person provides input as the book is published to offset her lies.

    It is offensive to all who suffer from real chronic illnesses that she would dare to suggest she represents or is trying to help them. She neither understands nor has experienced what those with true chronic illness have- or she would not have acted the way she has. She is simply using the fact that these illnesses exist to find a cause to pretend to represent, to get more attention.

    Her actions are every bit as heinous as the woman who said she represented families who lost someone on Sept 11, but had not in fact done so. Yo, I hope you read this and realize just how evil what you are doing is.

  56. It’s a miracle! Although I won’t admit it, I’m cured! See me on the cover of my new book with a dog no one has ever seen me post pictures of on my instagram account. Oh wait, do dogs carry ticks that cause Lyme? Did I get that wrong? Maybe I should have posed with a deer.

    As you can see, I’m strong and healthy, and my body shows no visible signs of being bedridden for the past four years! The lesson is clear – If you can afford to marry (and divorce) well, undergo endless spa treatments, homeopathic treatments, stem cell treatments, hyperbaric oxygen, IV supplements, cryotherapy, secret sessions with a trainer, whole foods approved botox and hair dyes, and the ability to fly by private plane all over the world, especially to Bora Bora twice within 6 months for extended stays with minions to take staged pictures of you in your bathing suit ( in hopes for revitalizing your modeling career), you too can be cured of your invisible disability due to Lyme disease.

    Isn’t that what it means to promote a cure affordable for all? Oh, and don’t forget, it helps to have an organization who promotes and sells expensive wellness supplements bestow on you a Lifetime Achievement Award for bringing awareness to your disease.

    I am healthy and strong and loving life! (Thank you Mohammed and David)!!!

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