Daily Tea: Weekend Open Forum!



*Please remember not to spoil episodes of TV shows, movies, etc in the comments. Many people binge watch shows these days and do not expect to find spoilers in the Open Forum, including me thanks! *

We are just over half way through the three day Memorial Day Weekend. I thought I’d put up an open forum so we could share what we are up too. I am hopeful that I still have time to get some things done in and out of the house before the weekend is over!  I spent my morning (errr…afternoon) doing some research for one of two posts I have been working on. I will put up some RHOA tea  later tonight after I get some house and garden stuff done and maybe get some sun on my face! I’ve been holding a few things to triple check my sources.

I will be having a BLT in a bit. I admit I am having a hard time getting decent bread for this purpose. There is a German bakery practically in walking distance so I really need to get around to checking them out I suppose. My Gerber daisies a blooming like crazy for the most part. I have them in three pots and one is one of those concrete pots on a stand and it is not big enough to hold all the water they need. I finally realized why these usually die on me. They need a ton of water every dayum day. So fart I am keeping them all alive. 


My tomatoes are kind of a mixed bag. My early girl has an issue. That issue is apparently death. It is the one that gave me my first and third tomatoes and has two more ripening but the plant appears to be a goner. five or so other plants are in the same area and doing just fine. It’s crazy.

I am trying to get some work done around the house. I’m making just a tiny bit of progress. Which is more than usual. I’ve needed to change the light bulb in my living room and library for… I dunno months on the library and maybe a year on the dining room? So I am taking that as a personal victory.

Meanwhile, her in the south no one ever would cut their grass or use a leaf blower on a Sunday. It’s just not done. I suppose it started with the whole biblical instruction that Sunday is a day of rest and reflection or whatever, but it has just never been done. Today the big Mexican house has a guy blowing leaves. This never happens and they have been living there for years. They run a construction company and when he has more guys than he needs he puts them to work on his yard. He has the nicest house and the nicest yard in the hood by far. But he has never had employees blowing leaves on Sunday. Hmm it didn’t last long. I think the owner stopped him.  Last Sunday the military family up and cut the grass!  I am not liking the end of this southern tradition.

I am dying to hear what is going on in your neck of the woods!


Filed under Daily Tea

117 responses to “Daily Tea: Weekend Open Forum!

  1. Lisa j

    If you’ve got Netflix, Bloodline is superb dramatic series and season 2 just came out. We are binging on it now! Enjoy your weekend!

    • Pip

      I just got rid of company and am cleaning up, etc. plan to start Bloodline season 2 tonight.
      Last week I finished a show on Netflix. It’s called “Happy Valley” and is a crime drama set in Yorkshire. Gotta turn on the cc though, because they talk fast! Anyway, it was excellent if that’s your kinda thing.

  2. JustJenn

    We cut the grass whenever possible up here in the north as the weather is so crazy. I’m staying in all weekend catching up on all of my reality shows that I’ve missed over the Hulu and tending to a sick pup.

  3. nanaintn

    Just enjoyed our first ‘wilted lettuce & onion’ salad from the garden..yum! Totally NOT a health food, but was delicious with fried cornbread. Picked our first ripe tomatoes from ‘cheat’ plants purchased from nearby Amish. Enjoying the many marathons of favorite shows and catching up here at TT. Love the new site!

  4. Cat

    Not much to report on this end. Cat stuff. That’s all.

  5. Hi all. I gave notice at my job on Friday. I am starting part time at another hospital in a week. The new hospital is 5 minutes from my house! I am so happy and surprised I got this new job. The boyfriend and I went to the farmers market this morning. There’s a dude there who sells tiny, amazing fruit cobblers. Relaxing now. Hope everyone’s having a wonderful holiday.

    • tamaratattles

      Wait! I thought you had like two years left to retirement and could not leave the old hospital! WTF? We were counting the months!

      • I know. The stress got to me–work doubled and people kept quitting. They were double benching us and new management philosophy was based on fear and punitive action. We’ve lost 5 people in the last year to medical leave and retirement. Plus, the old hospital is 15 miles away through the worst traffic. I got to the point where I was having anxiety attacks every day before work. My son’s psychotic symptoms have not returned, but his mood swings started getting bad in the last few months as well. So started looking around and found a part time position at a hospital near me. It’s part time, so I get benefits, and the manager said I can go to full time when hours open up. I will need to supplement until then with social security or using my 403B–I need to talk to my tax guy about which to use. If I like the hospital, I might go per diem after I can get on medicare–pay is very good and I can work one or two days a week. In the mean time, I am going to work on the memoir I started a while ago about my son’s illness. I have the first draft done. I am really looking forward to going part time, and the new hospital looks like a really pleasant place to work. So it’s all good. :)

    • Dee

      LisaMia, congratulations! You’re getting away from hell! I’m thrilled. I was counting months too but this is such happy news!

    • Cat

      I am so happy for you! I know what it’s like to work in a toxic environment, and how good it feels to get out.

      It’s better for your health, too.

  6. Just got back from taking my 87 yr old Dad to lunch & buy his monthly toiletries & meds. For Memorial Day I plan to drive 80 miles out into the country to a friends ranch for a BBQ cookout. Safe Memorial weekend to all!

  7. marywanna

    Lots of time on the internet, too wet here to go out. Tropical Storm is gone, it wasn’t bad.

  8. Blondesense

    Happy Memorial Day Weekend my Yank friends! I used to live in Grand Rapids Mi and you weren’t allowed to work on your yard, have garage sales or buy liquor on Sunday except for beer at the gas station. I don’t think you would be arrested or anything but you would have a bunch of angry Christian Reformed peeps on your driveway.

  9. momoffourkids

    Spent much of the day cutting down tree branches and hauling them to the curb for city to chip up this week. Went and put flowers on all the graves and spruced up some around the stones. Especially my son’s stone was needing cleaning. Taking a short break now and keeping an eye on my sick spouse, may need a trip to ER again.

    • Karina

      I found a little tiny orange kitty in the woods when I was a kid.. He turned out to be the biggest strongest cat and became more of an outdoor cat. We thought he was part bob cat. He lived a very long time. Good luck

      • Karina

        My comment was a reply to @hanahkingrose

      • hannahkingrose

        Thanks Karina. Hope Minja turns out to be a big strong kitty. As tiny as she is, she has a long way to go just to get to a pound. However at the rate she’s eating it might not take as long as I think.

  10. NeverBeenJaxed

    Happy Memorial Day Weekend All! I tempted fate this year and put the tomatoes and basil in one day early. Last year we had a hard freeze the day before Memorial Day and it totally FUBAR’d the whole process. However, a heat wave and temps in the 90’s the past few days is making for glorious and happy gardening weather.

    I’ve only got two papers to write for school this week, so I’m in good shape. I decided to treat myself and take some “me” time today. Sun bathed and did some light stuff around the yard. I normally am a sun worshipper, but the heat today was smothering. Ended up coming in and happy basking in the A/C. Family BBQ tomorrow as we are celebrating my parents anniversary, my brother’s, sister’s, and sister-in-law’s, a niece’s and a nephew”s birthdays birthday (yes, they are ALL within a day of one another….kill me). Should be a good time.

    Happy Memorial Day weekend TT, Banjo, and all y’all! I hope you are all doing exactly what you want to be!

  11. JoJoFLL

    I’ve been in the office all day on Las Olas Boulevard.

    Tomorrow is the beach!

    Tonight is finish binge watching Silicon Valley on HBO.

  12. Toni Lee Gildea

    This damned Yankee just got her tomato plants planted into containers, along with a few flowers in pots on the deck. My heart just isn’t into it this year, but TT scares the shit out of me, so I planted the damned tomato.
    Everyone have a safe weekend.

    • tamaratattles

      You know I am going to send someone over to check that tomato plant, right? :) A couple of mine are trying to turn yellow and die in a line of plants that have the exact same conditions.

      • Dee

        Tamara, like the 5 year old that I am I have to say the plant this year is doing well, I have tiny marble size tomatoes all over it. I hope this one lasts so I can eat at least one! Thanks for turning me on to Dukes May. I was always a Hellman’s kinda gal. Now, Dukes all the way :)

  13. Tulsateacher

    After finally giving up on sleep around 4:30 am I got up and spent the morning reading the Sunday paper and have been flipping back and forth between the Naked and Afraid and Cops marathons since around noon. I am still in my t-shirt and pajama bottoms and waiting for my jalepeno poppers to come out of the oven. I really wish I had something good to read!! Anyone have any nonfiction works they could recommend??

    • tamaratattles

      I dunno if you are up for gay love and not so love sex scenes (they’re brief) but I love Augusten Burroughs. Start with Running With Scissors, then Dry and finally the latest memoir Lust & Wonder. I am either reading Dry for the first time or the second time now after reading the new one. Will probably go back to Running With Scissors after this.

    • I am reading ‘A Spy Among Friends–Kim Philby and the Great Betrayal’, by Ben Macintyre. If you are a fan of John Le Carrie and the George Smiley books, it’s an interesting companion book. It’s a biography of the real mole that was the basis for the one in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

    • Minky

      I would recommend some really, really good conspiracy theory stuff to read on the innanets. But you already have trouble sleeping. ☺️ However, I watch the Wisecrack channel on Youtube where their “Thug Notes” versions of Classic Literature is a scream.

      Again, the melatonin has worked wonders for me. Sometimes I combine it with Benadryl. I haven’t slept so well in years!

  14. hannahkingrose

    Well my relaxing Memorial Day weekend has been almost anything but relaxing. It was supposed to be a relaxing, nice weekend that had actually turned into a week of vacation because my husband decided to take some days off from his job as Police Chief. First he had to go back to work and they were able to catch several thieves who had done about 5 burglaries which was good. When he gets home, he gets a call from his cardiologist telling him he needs to come in on Wednesday for a heart catherization. I’m a little concerned about that but we’ll get through it.

    Then my future daughter-in-law says she hears a kitten near our Tahoe. She goes out at midnight but can’t find anything. The next day our friend comes home and says he hears a kitten near our Tahoe. He goes out and after using a YouTube video of kittens meowing brings in the tiniest orange kitten I’ve seen. This kitten has been in that Tahoe motor for who knows how long. She is scared to death and trying her best to get away from us. I know she has to be starving and thirsty. She’s filthy and adorable. After finally getting her to eat, drink and take a bath, Minja(her new name) thinks she has hit the jackpot with all the food she can eat, a soft place to sleep (our bed) and her protectors Sage our Rottweiler who thinks she’s his kitten and Baloo our Great Dane who licks and wets her whole body with one swipe. She is crawling on my shoulders as I type this. So much for a quiet, relaxing weekend for me but who can resist this cuteness overload. Wish I could attach the pictures of her sitting on Baloo’s back or the one where she’s in his mouth lol. Omg she just laid down for a catnap. Everyone be quiet please.

    • This orange kitten story is EVERYTHING. Youtube kitten videos to lure it out? Brilliant idea.

      • hannahkingrose

        IKR, as soon as she heard the video she responded by meowing. It was the only way he found. That’s when he saw her hind legs which he had to use to get her out. Oops catnap over. She’s trying to help me type this comment. She paws at the screen when it scrolls lol. Now she’s off to stand in her food bowl and eat around her feet.

      • Yes, what Urethra Franklin said. Thank you for the orange kitty story, Hannah. I will be thinking good thoughts for you and your husband. Plus, a good luck kitty came your way!

      • hannahkingrose

        Meredo, it took all of about 5 minutes to fall in love with her. If she’s over 4 ounces I’d be surprised. Baloo the Dane is 200 lbs. Just picture Marmaduke and add 50 pounds lol. You unfortunately have the animal count at my house incorrect. We have our own animal hoarder starter kit going. Total is 3 Rottweilers, Sage, Yogi and Matisse, Baloo the Dane and 2 other cats Tisha and Yoshi. Now 1 of the Rotties and 1 cat are my son’s so eventually when he moves out they will go with him but it’s still a lot. They outnumber the humans. Of course I like animals better than most people anyway. Sage jumped at Yoshi when I was introducing him to Minja because he took a step toward Sage’s kitten and Sage didn’t like it.

        Minja is an impressive little survivor. My husband cooked bad stuff for dinner…fatback, navy beans and cornbread. He brought my dinner to me on a tray to my bed and it was all I could do to keep her out of my plate. I put her on the floor and before I could pick up my fork, she climbed back up and had her front paws on my cornbread. So far her favorite thing to do is climb your back and sit on your shoulder. She went to the bathroom with the hubby that way. I’m going to have to break her of that lol. I sure sound like a new momma don’t I?

    • Dee

      Oh…what a great story HKR! Thank you! Good news was had by all y’all 😎

      • Meredo

        That is the best rescue story ever! I would love to see the pictures of Minja with the dogs. Your descriptions of her are priceless. You don’t like her much do you? Lol, I would be in love as well.

    • tamaratattles

      I don’t even LIKE cats and that kitten sounds adorable.

      • TR, Please let Hannahrose send you pics to post or -?
        That was the best Kitty story ever, almost melted my cold heart.

        I would enjoy watching orange kitty grow up with two very large dogs.
        Thinking others in here might feel the same way, be nice to see her antics and watch Kitty grow up.

        I’m know it would be extra work for you but you won’t have to write, smiling, you could give Kitty her own page,

      • TT not TR apologies.

        Hey, I replaced a alternator in my car yesterday and am damn proud of myself.
        I had auto store checking my battery, I was having serious car trouble. Turn it off and there I sat. Happened to many times to ignore.
        I checked the obvious first, took a day then had him ck the alternator. As I
        stood there listening to this man-boy tell me how money I was going to be spending, I asked if I could replace it?
        He said yes and so I did. Yeah Me.

        A one hour job took me 6 hours but I did it. Took a lot of time to find the right size tools and Followed YouTube and Google instructions.
        Even printed out a routing diagram for the serpentine belt. 😃😃😃

      • misery chick

        Seriously, my hat is off to you; just reading about reading instructions, looking at diagrams, etc is putting me (at least my.mind!) in a fetal position! I hope you are as proud of yourself as I am of YOU 😁

      • Dee

        Calipatti, your story is very encouraging! You must be so proud to have done the job yourself! Girl Power!

    • She sounds adorable, Hannahkingrose! :)

    • Cat

      What a great kitten story! She sounds so sweet!

  15. at the coast waiting for the sun to come out. Good news I got to see the Dolphins. Off to charlston tomorrow to have dinner at husk.

  16. More Tea Please!

    Try White Mountain bread from Publix Bakery. Put the toasted side on the inside, and don’t scrimp on the Duke’s mayo.

  17. KaraW

    Gardening for me too. Yesterday was 92 degrees and today it was 62. The pansies I planted from 6-packs into my own pots weathered the heat okay, but the ones I bought already planted in a large container are in rough shape. They looked completely dead when I found them, and have come back about halfway after watering. A lot of dead blossoms, but I think they’ll survive. I assume the soil quality is the problem. Maybe overcrowding is also a factor. On the plus side, I got a lot of petunias planted today and I’m trying to decide where to put 2 peonies. Really looking forward to seeing those bloom. I’ve never planted peonies before.

    Now watching Anthony Bourdain, Parts Unknown.

  18. yrakme

    I have been working like crazy for the last month to get our rental house for sale. In addition to the several hours a day I have put into this house, I have worked at least 50-60 hours each week. Our friend/realtor convinced me it was a good time to sell. We couldn’t give this house away 5 years ago. It’s in a tiny little town in the Pacific Northwest that is now becoming the next wine country so I am told. I thought he was crazy to list the house for sale last Friday. Wellll….. I have 4 offers so far, the smallest is $10,000 over list and the largest is $30,000 over list and the offers are still coming.

    The last 2 years have been the worst for my family and I have been nearly to my breaking point several times.This bit of great news has been such a blessing. All the work has paid off and soon we will be debt free with some money to save. My husband smiled for the first time in so long. I fell in love with him all over again. I can now focus on my son, who needs surgery soon and we will be able to at least put him through the first 2 years of college.

    Oh and I decided to take today off and rest and reflect this Sunday like you do in the South. I love that tradition. I even made Sangria to sip on my porch. Of course up and over here, Sunday is prime lawn day for Suburbia and my husband and/or I, often have to work.

    Sorry for the long post. I rarely comment so I guess I have pent up posting syndrome.(PUPS for short).

    • Meredo

      @yrakme, Glad to hear of your good news, sounds like you deserve it. If you don’t mind my asking, what town is it that’s supposed to be the next wine country?

      • yrakme

        Dayton, Or. It’s surrounded by winerys (wineries) pardon my spelling. There are a few small towns around that have already been set up to do what this town is on path for. At least that what’s I am told. I am just happy my former home town is growing.

    • tamaratattles

      I read the first line and thought, maybe I could move there! Right up to the whole bidding war. Congrats. It sounds delightful.

  19. Soul Sista

    Happy Three Day weekend everyone! I just finished binge watching The Night Manager on AMC. I officially have a crush on Tom Hiddleston! I have only known him as Loki in the Marvel movies, but it was refreshing to see him in a different role. Beautiful blue eyes, gorgeous smile, tall lanky body, and a voice as smooth as silk…love him!

    Other than that, enjoying a break from the rainy weather. It’s been heavenly seeing the sun for 2 days in a row.

  20. Katherine 2.0

    Crossing the country, sampling some of our beautiful national parks and seeing family. So grateful to those who had the foresight to preserve these majestic and unique places.
    Haven’t watched any TV but the weather channel in 10 days, and it is sublime. I still get my TT fix when I have wifi, which hasn’t been too often. Am looking forward to binging GOT and Bloodline.
    Just hope my plants survived the three week absence!

  21. Crazy In NC

    Just completed my first week of Whole30, and I feel really good. All the cooking is a PITA, but that’s ok.
    We cleaned the place top to bottom and otherwise did nothing all day. It was glorious!

    • Minky

      Congratulations Crazy in NC! Keep going. Don’t get discouraged. I’ve been doing ketogenic since April 10th. I’ve never felt better in my life!!! My mind has never been clearer AND it seems to be helping my skin problems. Lost 12 pounds so far too.

      I only have a small amount of knowledge about Whole 30, but from what I’ve heard it sounds like an interesting plan.

  22. Cc101

    Just back from stone mountain fireworks. Seventh year in a row. Kids love it. Have just moved in town. Place is a chaotic mess but I love finding new places to go. And oh okay am a little happy with myself for being able to buy a house by myself. It has been a loooong slog since the divorce.

    Have a great weekend y’all.

  23. jodiping

    Yard wok, toddler, yard work, toddler. We have been working in our yard since Friday evening. Ripping out bushes, weeds and old shrubs. We bought this house last year and the previous owners were totally allergic to yard work so it took all of last summer just to get it presentable. I’ve been planting flowers and hydrangeas while the hubby is digging around my cherry and apples trees and spreading mulch.
    We have six grandchildren but we are raising our 2 1/2 year old granddaughter and she keeps us running. It’s impossible to complete a task without 50 interruptions but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
    Tomorrow, more yard work and cooking on the grill. I filled the baby’s pool this evening and she is looking forward to swimming in it. It will be hell getting her to eat her breakfast before she tries to get her swimsuit on, lol.

  24. misery chick

    Hi all, it’s really nice to hear about everyone’s long weekend. Yesterday I just hung out, today I volunteered as a “ticket taker” for a local theater, then my hubby and I went to see “Keanu”, the kitty movie. The 8 cats that they used for Keanu were sooooooo adorable my heart hurt a little (but in a good way, lol).Movie was just ok, too long, too many dragging parts, and NOT ENOUGH KEANU 🐾🐾

    I have a favor to ask anyone who’s reading this. I have severe obstructive sleep apnea; when I was tested I stopped BREATHING 60 times in one HOUR. I’ve had a brand new CPAP machine for over a week now, and I’ve run out of excuses to use it, so TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT!!! If u could send me an encouraging thought or prayer it would help me so very much. I’m pretty terrified to get deep sleep, and for several reasons I will share in a later post if anyone’s interested.

    Thanks for listening 💕

    • More Tea Please!

      Good luck with it. My husband has had a CPAP for years and loves it. He feels so much mor rested with. I say it looks like I’m sleeping with Darth Vader. Other than the hassle of taking it to travel, he wouldn’t give it up for anything.

      • misery chick

        Ha 😆 ha, love the Darth Vader remark. When I put on my old mask a couple of years (!!) ago and said to my hubby
        “LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER, oh THIS is really sexy to sleep next to”, my reserved and soft spoken husband replied, “well, it’s a lot sexier than waking up and finding you DEAD beside me”…gulp 😱

        Thanks for the lol and good wishes!

    • Toni Lee Gildea

      Use the machine! It will really help. Imagine how good you will feel after a refreshing nights sleep!
      Please let us know how it goes? :-)

      • misery chick

        Thanks Toni, I will! Punked out last night, but tonight I will JUST. DO. IT!!!!!!

        Yeah, will keep u updated, thanks for caring 💕

    • Dee

      Hey Chick, good luck with your CPAP. My Dad has one and he loves it! It has helped in so many ways. The best being his thinking. Just think, soon you won’t know what you did without it :)

      • misery chick

        Thanks Dee! It’s so strange that you picked up on your Dad’s THINKING being better, that’s EXACTLY why, after 6 years of struggling with my health and not getting much better even after making some significant changes…I’m giving ‘The CPAP thing’ another try 😁 My brain is so mushy that I had to retire almost three years ago, so doing this makes sense. I’m really encouraged by your Dad’s result…thanks so much for sharing 💖

  25. beth

    Leaf blowers shouldn’t be used any day of the week – much worse than the sound of a lawn mower.

  26. Dee

    At the risk of saying too much, I want to thank everyone for their contribution! It is so nice to see what everyone is doing. I love this site! UF, how nice of you to take your Dad out. I am sure he appreciates and loves seeing you!
    Chick, I sincerely hope the CPAP machine helps you like it helped my Dad. It took a lot for him to try it. He hates change, he loves it now, even took it on a trip.
    Thank you Tamara, you’re the best of the best!!

    • hannahkingrose

      Dee, totally agree with your sentiments. It’s cool hearing personal things about the people we see on here every day and hear about snippets of their lives. We get to be happy that yrakme sold a house, be proud that Cc101 was able to buy a house after her divorce, encourage misery chick to use her CPAP machine to improve her health and basically envy the rest of those who get to chill. I even got to tell my silly little orange kitty story who has kept me awake 2 nights in a row now lol. I love it too. Thanks for this spot TT.

      • Dee

        Hannahkingrose, thank you! I loved your story so much I shared it with my Mom this morning.

      • Cat

        Thank you for saying what I was thinking, but couldn’t put into words.

        I haven’t commented on many critical situations here. I feel too many comments are counterproductive, and I don’t want to overtake the threads.

        I really feel for those who are experiencing difficulty. My thoughts are with all of you.

  27. Sliceo'pie

    We live in New Jersey and went into the city to the, “Paramour” the new show by, “Cirque de Solei”. The city was like Hades. The show was so-so- we thought it was going to be a typical, “Cirque” show, full of aerobatics and performers from around the world but it was a musical. (Our fault for not reading up on the show before we purchased tickets!).

    We made it home in a record 15 minutes! No traffic at all –Whoo Hoo-it’s the small things.. 😉

    Today we are hitting the park to play frisbee with our 12 year old son, Chase. He’s the great joy of my life. We’re both movie buff’s. We’re going through old classics now – today is, “King Kong” with Fay Wray circa 1933.

  28. SaraSally

    Our community just created a free tool lending program called the Tool Library. They have a lot of tools of all sorts. You just have to be there when it comes in because nothing can be reserved. While there a man returns a tiller. After he checked it in, I laid claimed to being ‘Next’. A lady (who came in after me) said she had wanted it too. We discussed between us when we were going to use it, and came to the agreement to semi-check it our together. She used it on Saturday & I picked it up on Sunday. It does not have to be returned until next Saturday. We won all way around.
    So today I’m tilling up the grass below the wooden swing set. The hose will be next to the garden, lots of early day sun, and the sump pump hose drains towards that area too. I figured that since the structure is there, it may as well be used for climbing plants.

    Memorial Day for me is solace & thinking of those who gave all to our country. Gardening is a nice way to reflect & plant life in memory of those who served.

  29. tamaratattles

    Just went out into the back yard to throw the ball with Banjo before bringing him in so I can go on a Target shopping spree, and he had manage to get his collar off in the yard somewhere. I don’t seen how this happened unless it got stuck on a fence and he wiggled out. But nope. It was just laying in the yard still buckled. #Mystery.

    While I was looking I found a Weeble in the yard. I thought for a moment that it might be mine from childhood but looking back to when they came out I was overseas and renters where living here.

    Any else remember Weebles? And yes there is a lot of weird stuff in my back yard. I really need a metal detector. My parents probably buried shit back there.

    • SaraSally

      Of course, I remember them! My family’s first weeble was the school bus. My adorable sister Sandy was born with Downs Syndrome, & started early intervention school at its incubus. It was then we were introduced to these wonderful small buses(w/seatbelts), which came along with mandatory education. Each day, she excitedly waited for pick up & was returned timely to our porch step to the eagar fanfare of her mom & 8 siblings. When the. Weebles toy did come on the market , Sandy received three in the first year. She (we) loved it & all was good. For us it was a simulation to practice the releasing of our anxieties & letting others help.

    • Cat

      I AM a Weeble. I wobble, but I don’t fall down. (Knock wood.) :)

  30. Anyone who has Netflix and you want to catch an amazing and uplifting documentary, check out Champions.

  31. Fizz

    Hi from CA! I don’t comment too often but, I want to thank you Tamara and all you great commenters for keeping me entertained and laughing as I’ve been recovering from back surgery. Reading about housewives, the debate on the validity of non Kentucky bourbon (I’m a bartender, or was till my back, so that was particularly fun), growing gardens etc has all been very therapeutic for me. So, thank you and officially hello! I hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend!

    • tamaratattles

      Hi Fizz! Love the name! You’ll fit right in!

      • Fizz

        Thanks! It’s a shortened cockney version of my real name. The cockney was given to me by a Scottish guy and the shortened nickname of my nickname was given by my friend from Louisiana, if that makes any sense!

  32. So, I get all my gardens in and the corn is coming up nicely all looks lovely out here on our little farmette and the husband comes home and asks me for a divorce. 3 weeks before our 30th anniversary! He had someone over the put a value on the farm and wants to buy me out. I had no idea this was coming and I’m in complete shock. Also – I planted all those veggies. I want to be here this fall to harvest and can them. I’m in shock.

  33. Dee

    Oh…Mary I just saw this. I am so so sorry. Of course you are in shock. Over time your brain will absorb this. It is very traumatic. Dark thoughts has a great idea! You stick your heels in an do what is best for you.

    • Lime Brain

      Mary, my heart goes out for you.

      Take Dark Horses advice, and go see a lawyer as fast as you can to protect yourself. Take the joint check book with you to pay him. I’d also find a good therapist to talk to to help you get through this. You need all the support you can get. Take the joint check book for that too, and pay in advance. And while your at it, take some out for emergency money (like the rest of it) so you’re not stuck without options.

      And as Lisamia said, don’t move out of the house. That’s abandonment. If he is so unhappy, he can leave.

      And don’t think that you did anything wrong. He’s the one with the wild hair up his butt. He’s the problem, not you. And don’t let him make you think that it’s you. He’s being nasty because he knows he’s wrong.


      • Good advice – thanks. I have got an appointment with a therapist so I don’t go off the deep end and the bulk of the money in our relationship is mine due to inheritance. I was a paralegal for 25 years and still have some connections so I am seeing an attorney this evening. Thanks for the support – I need it.

      • Lime Brain

        Mary, I’m so glad you posted. You’ve been popping into my brain all day. What a relief to hear you are taking positive steps for a sucky situation. Sending positive thoughts your way and good luck today!

      • Dee

        Mary, thinking of you. You don’t have to move if you don’t want to. This has to be a shock to you. It doesn’t matter how long he’s been thinking of it. You just found out and have the right to let it sink in. Saying – when someone cracks a whip, you don’t have to jump. Good luck today!😇

      • Dee

        Mary, just saw he is being mean. He must be wracked with guilt. Kill him with kindness.

      • Thank you all for your support. I don’t want to piss off TT by taking over one of her comment sections but this was about the only place I could say anything without him knowing. The real problem is that for the last 30 years I have help him raise his kids. He had 3 sons when I married him and we got custody of them while they were very young. We now have 8 grandchildren. I lose all of them. I have no family of my own and I am losing everything.

      • Have you spoken to the kids yet? You might be surprised about how they feel about all this.

      • tamaratattles

        Mary, you are not pissing me off. This is what these forums are for. I am sorry I am so busy this week or I would have been commenting here a lot more.

        Take care of yourself. Go at your post. And tell him to go stay with his girlfriend, or his kids in the mean time.

      • Thanks TT – and all. I have not talked to the kids about all this yet and they don’t know what’s happening at this point however, I’ve seen it happen 100 time. We all say we’ll keep in touch but then the holidays arrive. Naturally they will invite their father and slowly, but surely, I will be left out more and more until I’m just dinner conversation on a rare occasion. It’s going to be had to let go of all the kids and grandkids.

  34. JKR

    I’ve been a lurker here for years, and just started commenting more recently. But an open post seems a good place to dump some things I wish I could share, even if no one responds. Haha. I’m in the process of stirring up some legal stuff with my little one’s “father” (in DNA only.) After almost four years, I’m heading to try and (finally) terminate rights for the child I’ve raised solely her whole life, with no support (physically or financially. Ever.) I’m terrified. I can’t afford it. I’m afraid this will all backfire, and somehow I will end up having to send my baby to a stranger with a drug problem and a violent criminal record. The stress is enough to send me over the edge sometimes. I’ve been getting some updates from mutual friends about some social media stuff, where he’s mentioning her for the first time in her entire life. It twists me up inside. I’m afraid of him. I took a break to come here, and what a damn relief it can be to focus on reading recaps, or posts like this, any place other than my own brain. Not sure if I’m supposed to get this personal, but if anyone has advice, I’m open to it.
    Tamara, I hope you don’t mind that I changed my username. I know people who read here, and I don’t want anyone to link my first name and situation together. I try to keep this all to myself in my real life. Thank you for giving me somewhere to unload.

    • tamaratattles

      Best of luck to you! Do some Googling and see if you can find a lawyer who will help you. http://www.wikihow.com/Terminate-a-Father's-Parental-Rights

      Sorry for the delay in moderation. Lots going on behind the scenes today.

      • JKR

        Thank you, I thought maybe the name change got me kicked out. Phew! Unfortunately, my long-time lawyer (who I will be forever grateful to, for charging a young single mom a fraction of what he should) had too large of a caseload and recommended a colleague of his. She informed me this afternoon that unless I had a step-parent willing to adopt my daughter, or a pending marriage, his “bad character” and drug/criminal/violent record would unlikely be enough to achieve much. Apparently, being an all-around unsafe person to care for a child under 4 just isn’t quite enough in my state. Even at $250/hr.
        Thank you for the link, i will keep searching. For now, I’m content to lurk your new posts.

  35. tamaratattles

    Is moving a possibility? As far a way as possible? Does he visit at all or may support?

    • JKR

      No visitation, never even attempted (talks a big game about how evil I am publicly, though.) Not a penny ever, owes nearly 10K in back-pay but works under the table to avoid paying any support. He never files taxes to ensure I get nothing, not that I want it. The kicker? We live in the same town, maybe about 20 minutes apart. If I could move far away and be able to provide for her, I would’ve done it long ago. Although it is looking more like my only option. My job is here, which allows me to pay our bills/her education and mine. I think the worst part of it all? She has no family, other than mine. If I leave, I will not only have not provided a father and paternal side of her family, but I will take away the only family she has ever known. A rock and a hard place, as they say..

      • Lime Brain

        JKR, I wish I had some advice to give, but all I can do is offer support. Is there a court ordered visitation? If, not, it doesn’t sound like he can afford a lawyer to get it.

        If he does have visitation, and he starts making rumblings about seeing your daughter, I would try to get supervised visitation so he’s not alone with the kid. Demand that he gets drug tested and request the sample comes from a pubic hair. Drugs stay there the longest.

        Also, If you are afraid of him and he starts coming around, is there a battered women’s shelter near you? Maybe if you talk to them, they can help you and point you in the right direction on what to do and have contacts for you to get a free lawyer or something.

        Try to ignore the talking trash about you around town. It seems just about every man does that with an ex where there is a child involved. Nobody with any common sense pays any attention. They”ll just yes him to shut him up and think, what an asshole.

        I hope things work out for you and things don’t go as far that he does want to see her.

  36. JKR

    No court-ordered visitation, he’s never asked. Mostly my concern is that although he has an extensive history of violent physical/drug abuse, has not seen her at all, has never paid anything- the court system doesn’t see it as reason enough to revoke any rights. Unless I have a candidate to adopt her, they find it necessary to have two parents. Regardless of the danger. Go figure. I have a no trespassing order on my home, and get victim notification of arrests/convictions/release dates- but my state doesn’t think I have proof enough for a restraining order. Who knows? Tamara, this yankee might implant herself in southern life sooner than i expected. I may need better tips to blend in than Patricia has gotten. Ha! Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it.

  37. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

    My kindle just went up and died on me with no forewarning. I’m on my laptop that I never use right now. I never use it because its so fricking slow!!!

    It took me almost 2 hours to finally get it to the point where I can type a letter under 5 minutes. I uninstalled the Norton software that I never used, because I’m hoping that it was fighting my other antivirus protection (or whatever you call it) It seems to have helped somewhat.

    I miss my tablet so much, already! I could adjust it so I could read it easily. A phone is to small for me.

    I guess I need to start looking into what kind of tablet I want to get now. I would love an ipad, but they are too expensive, and one of my New Years resolutions was to buy as little as possible from Amazon because I’m on an anti Amazon kick, so I cant get another kindle. Does anyone have any good suggestions?

    I must say, typing on a real keyboard is nice, but windows 10 is going to be the death of me. It’s the first time Ive used it since I installed it.

    What am I doing wrong that it’s changing the font size on me every few minutes??? And why is everything underlined in red like I’ve misspelled every single word?


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