You know what I really want to do on this long weekend? Recap Teen Mom 2! No really. The past couple of weeks I’ve been super busy working on boring tech stuff with the site and it has caused me to let some of the lesser viewed recaps fall by the wayside. I have two episodes ( plus the aftershows) on my DVR and I have been dying to watch the one from two weeks about because Barbara is going to go head to head with Janelle’s felon boyfriend of the week! I remember some commenter having a minor meltdown about me not liking the housewives shows anymore. She felt all betrayed that I had been grudging blogging when I was over the series. The fact of the matter is, it is now my job to recap shows that get the most reaction (views) from you guys. And yes, there are times I’d like to drop out of a franchise here and there, or simply take a night off and watch something else that interests me more, but I also like to eat. And buy wine. So I do it anyway. Also, I usually like the seasons for the first ten episodes but really Munchausen and fake cancer can become quite tiresome. And then there are shows like this I am dying to get to buy are a lower priority for the website like Teen Mom!
I’m going to combine two episodes like it was one big show and include any interesting things from the after shows.
Chelsea and Cole are going out with friends to a concert. Aubree has a responsible babysitter, probably her mom. And they are going to meet Jason Aldean, a country singer I think. For having VIP passes they had some mediocre seats.
Aubree has apparently told Chelsea she can’t see the board at school. Chelsea feels bad because she didn’t need glasses until high school. In actuality, elementary kids are not given enough eye tests. At least in the county I taught in. It was like pulling teeth to get my kids an eye test in first grade because they had one before kindergarten. The only test in certain grades and clearly I don’t know what I am talking about when I send a kid to the nurse for a test. Because “I send too many.” Aubree has a fit about getting eyedrops. Chelsea is way too permissive with the meltdown. She also picked out hideous pink glasses.
Cole takes Aubree to a father daughter dance because Adam doesn’t show up! Aubree wanted to go with Cole and Adam. Aubree calls Cole her other daddy. Aw.
Jenelle and the new felon whose name escapes me are talking about getting custody of Jace and the doughnut and moving far away from Babs. When pigs fly. She will never get Jace back. And just this week she and Nathan signed a mediation contract where she has primary custody and he gets the doughnut every other weekend. Meanwhile, Jenelle has been suffering from a mystery illness. I believe on the shot The Doctors they told her she has marijuana withdrawal. Her symptoms include, brain fog, mood swings, hot flashes and sweating for no reason. I am not making this up. Clearly God is sending her into early menopause to keep her from reproducing. Or else she is working the Celebrity Lyme gig that is becoming increasingly popular.
Time for the star of the show, Barbara! Jace tells Barbara they don’t do anything fun at Barbara’s house. Jenelle and David are always sleeping in the bedroom and don’t come out. He just sits there all day with Maryssa, David’s kid and they watch videos all day. He says it’s spooky. Where is the doughnut in all of this?
Barbara arrives to pick up Jase and he and Maryssa have been sent out to play in traffic while Jenelle and the felon are locked in their bedroom. Again, where is doughnut. We know he is not with his father. Barbara goes inside and Janelle and David won’t answer the bedroom door. Janelle keeps screaming for everyone to leave her alone. Again. Why doesn’t production contact child services? David comes out with the doughnut who is adorable and miraculously still alive. For now. David tells Barbara that Janelle doesn’t want to talk to her. I’m guessing because she will know she is high. There is a camera in the room or else the put one in after Barbara leaves. David is calling the doughnut his kid, and the house his house and calls the police on Barbara. She leaves with Jace and one of the other grandkids and tells Jase he is not going back there anymore.
David is such a douchebag. He is driving a wedge into an already fractured relationship between Jenelle and her mother. This is what abusive men do. Step one: Isolate them from family and friends. Make her totally dependent on you.
Janelle is pissed because she was supposed to get Xanax ,5 three times a day for her anxiety and they won’t give it to her because she is an addict. She says she was addicted to heroin not benzos and they don’t care. I’ve had a Xanax script for more than ten years. I started at .25 and one script would last a year. I’ve probably had one script for the past three if not more years. The thing about Xanax and anxiety is that you really don’t even have to take it. Just knowing you CAN take it if things get worse calms you down. For Janelle to be so pressed about it is a bad sign. I think they should give her five pills to carry around. Hell mine are probably expired and they work just fine in my purse. Anyway, Jenelle misses a visitation I don’t think she should have had in the first place, so win-win. Jenelle thinks she has MS.
Javi calls his friend Darius to Facetime and get some of his anxieties out. Javi is trying to set up a nice night out for Kailyn where their friends watch the boys and she can go out and let loose. But what I am hearing is that both Javi and Kailyn are currently cheating on each other. I think Javi is still in Qatar until September but Kailyn has now supposedly admitted they are getting a divorce. Javi was taking comfort with some other female who I suppose is also in Qatar. Not sure what to think about this. It will devastate Isaac.
Meanwhile back on the show, Kailyn and her friends try to make cookies to send Javi as a thank you for paying for the all to go out. I’m not sure that was a wise move for Isaac. Maybe he wants her to meet someone else. I’ve always liked Kaitlyn despite the fact that most people don’t. But if she screws up her marriage to Javi, she will never meet anyone better and she will regret it. Kaitlyn says that Isaac lies in bed at night crying and talking out loud to Javi. Javi even sends his parents to babysit while the girls go out! Do to all the product placement, I think MTV paid for the tab. Javi sent flowers to the restaurant to all four girls.
Javi is really having a hard time with his deployment. Kailyn is really sweet to him and cries. I am so sad that this marriage fell apart. Maybe there is still a chance?
I just realized that Jo wasn’t on the first episode I watched. On this one he is talking about the drastic change in Kailyn as soon as Javi left. Apparently, she is not wanting to hang out with them. Before Javi left she was spending time with them and it was pissing Javi off. Yet she kept doing it. Now that he is gone, she has nothing to do with them. Wow. I thought he was going to say she was around more since Javi’s deployment.
From the first episode I watched today to the second one, Kailyn goes from being supportive to Javi to being a bitch and hanging up on him. What did we miss? Is this when Javi was sending photos to someone else?
Since Kailyn’s friends are all live out of town and she needs someone to film with she starts filming with Jo’s girlfriend Vee . I am trying to figure out what is tattooed on Vee’s wrist and ran across this post on Teen Mom Junkies with all the Teen Mom tattoos. I don’t see Vee’s tat there and don’t care enough to rewind. I could have sworn it said Jessica.
Why is Leah yelling at Adi about getting in the refrigerator without asking when in it is obvious that these girls have to scavenge for their own food every day. Adi was trying to get a can of frosting. Adi is like three or four at this time. Leah let’s her have it and asks He mom if that was bad of her to do. She says to just make her sit at the table to eat it. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Dear God. How are these children going to survive on what Leah lets them eat? Is this the same one that was eating sugar packets in a restaurant shoot? She gives her a full container of Betty Crocker chocolate icing and a spoon! Why doesn’t production contact child services on this woman? This is her doing better?
Did they stage her living room with a new couch and furniture? Leah seems to be on speed or meth. Suddenly she is neurotic about cleaning the house.
How is it that these girls have gymnastics and choir and no consistent food source with Leah? I suppose Corey organizes and pays for the activities.
Apparently, West Virginia does not recognize joint custody. Leah’s lawyer apparently did not know that as she wrote the order for the judge. So now they have to go back to court for primary custody. I hope to hell Corey gets it, but I don’t think he does because he can’t use this footage in court because it could have been edited to make Leah look bad. Please.
When Corey and Leah meet in a parking lot for the handoff he wants to talk about Ali’s weight. She weighs 34 pounds and Corey says it is a struggle to get her to eat. He says she is losing weight. Leah says she eats with her. This is because he is trying to feed her FOOD and she feeds her sugar packets and icing if she lets them eat at all. All of those girls are malnourished. She has lost six pounds and no longer weighs the 40 pounds needed for a booster seat. I hope he brings this up in court. Leigh took Ali to the doctor and calls Corey and says she weighs 35 pounds and the doctor said that was good for her height. I googled and that is the average weight for a four year old and nine pounds less than what a six year old should weigh. When Leah was on the phone letting Corey know, Ali was in the back seat with a Mountain Dew. The most highly caffeinated regular soft drink on the market.
Leah’s house is super clean. Like Catfish clean. With new sofas and everything. Weird.
We get a scene of Leah furiously making up the twins bed. She gets a call from her cousin Chastity who is watching the girls while she is on some sort of frenzied cleaning mission induced by God knows what. It’s like she was on downers before sleeping all the time and she has changed to uppers. Uppers that I need to clean this house! Chastity calls to says that Ali says Miranda won’t help her with her book bag on school pick ups because she has to hold the baby. I don’t get this. You can’t hold the baby and drive so clearly there is someone else there or this is all fabricated. Chastity filmed the convo on her phone allegedly which is also suspect. Oh wait. It is getting out of the car after school when they get home. Also Chastity was deliberately interrogating the twins about Miranda while filming it probably for court. Of course Miranda has to hold the baby going into the house. The video is normal girls whining about the baby getting all the attention.
WOW! I didn’t realize how late it was! I LOVE 500 Questions a game show on ABC that only runs for a short time. I hit the wrong button on my remote and the show popped up and I’ve missed like half of it! So I am going to insert some photos while watching that and get his up! Lord knows it is long enough I think there were only a couple of minutes left anyway. I’ll edit/update if I have more to say later.
Wait. Why do I like this show so much?