Real Housewives of New York Recap: All The Countess’s Men

RHONY season 8

Right now some dudes in California are plundering around in my site because, we’re all moving to California! I am getting off the crappy hosting site that is Blue Host and moving on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky with Page.ly.  Once I get settled in I am going to have to fix the crappy template.  So I am writing this on Google Docs in hopes that I can put it up when I am done. I don’t think we will officially be California residents until probably tomorrow or Friday. I’m quite errrr…hefty to move.

I am thrilled to be back in NYC with the RHONY tonight though. This is my favorite housewives franchise that is currently airing. I can’t wait to see Bethenny set Sonja straight because she needs a good dose of reality.

Dorinda

Dorinda and Jules are shopping in a bizarre home goods store in the city where boobs and pills seem to be the primary thematic choices. There is some sort of gift exchange party where they all had to draw names and buy gifts. I believe it is near Christmas. I thought the Berkshires party was in October around Halloween. Jules missed the entire thing at John’s party because when shit starts to go down, she “protects her facial and runs for the hills.”  Does she wear a retainer her speech is all hissy. Dorinda is done with Ramona. Dorinda is wearing a loud pink dress in her talking head. I think it looks lovely on her. Not a fan of the earrings with that dress though.

Dorinda says “Maybe Ramona wants to sleep with John. Maybe I should just let that happen. And then everyone will be happy. She has like a total hard-on for John.

RHONY Dorinda

Bethenny’s Party

Bethenny is having a secret Santa party. So far we know that Dorinda got Bethenny and Jules got Ramona. It’s a caviar party and the caviar girl really does look like Elsa from Frozen. Bethenny is not amused. She tells two of the girls to make her change.

Carole arrives with the little blue box from Tiffany’s! I hope she draws my name! However, this is a regift because at Christmas time the white ribbon changes to red. I have been extremely fortunate to have experience in receiving such things. Not bad for a fat chick in the ghetto.

Anyway a couple of Bethenny’s actual friends are there and Carole and Bethenny immediately tell them about Jules and how she always brings up that she’s Asian.

Ramona waltzes in with a bottle of her Pinot Grigio and asks for three glasses, a spicy margarita, water, and a glass of wine because she has a story to tell them that they will not believe. Oh, it’s the story about how she got wasted and embarrassed herself and ruined John’s party.  But in her version she was chit-chatting with Sonja and this tall gentleman came up that she had previously met with Luann. Then out of the blue John comes up and tells the guy he has to leave. She has no idea why he was asked to leave. Then suddenly John was putting his hands in her face and she was scared because it felt very invasive. Then Dorinda came up and she was mad at Ramona!

RHONY Jules
Jules says, “I have another version of the story.” But before she can get her version out Dorinda walks in and Bethenny jumps up to be a good hostess. Ramona keeps trying to tell at least Carole that there is a whole other side to the story and Ramona keeps saying no, to hush her because Dorinda is walking in. Dorinda orders Prosecco. It sounds like Skinnygirl already has Prosecco and if so that makes her even more likely to win the trademark war.

Dorinda is a bit frazzled and Bethenny takes her aside and they sit on a couch and Dorinda says she has had anxiety all day about coming to the party. She blames Ramona’s crappy friendship for releasing her inner sadness about Richard’s death. At first I don’t see the correlation but as I am typing I do understand. Dorinda has trusted Ramona for years and she felt safe in their friendship and now it seems Ramona has abused and abandoned the friendship and I could see how that would cause the scab on old betrayals ( or death) to seep open. Also it is the holidays, and that is a rough time when you have a loved one that has passed. Four years is not a lot of time to grieve a husband.

Meanwhile, Ramona has shoveled about $200 worth of caviar on her plate.

Dorinda is having a Christmas party in the Berkshires and she has decided not to invite Sonja. Carole says she would rather not sleep under the same roof as Luann. So I guess that Luann and Sonja, (see below) are not invited to Bethenny’s. This makes sense because those two were the ones making the biggest stink about Bethenny’s contract being so much better than what they were offered and  holding out for more money.  Bethenny did invite Luann to her fall party in The Hamptons though.

Once again Carole does not know what moving on means.  She says it means taking responsibility for your actions. And by “you” she means not her, but  the other person. That is not what moving on means, it means leaving an issue that is unlikely to be resolved in the past and not bringing up how offended you are at every social event until the end of time. It means, put a period and MOVE THE FUCK ON, CAROLE. In her talking head,Carole points out that Ramona has been very rude to Dorinda about John and they have a long friendship and this could end their friendship and “that would be sad losing a friendship over some guy.” Hmmmmm sounds exactly like the situation with you and Luann, no?

RHONY Sonja and Luann

Luann and Sonja

I’m not sure if these two are predrinking or if they were not invited to the party, but they are at a bar, and when Sonja is offered a vodka martini, because apparently she’s a regular, Luann nixes it and they both get a glass of rose. Sonja in her talking head says that even though Luann is staying with her, she never sees her because it is like musical chairs with her and the four guys.

The topic turns to Rey and Luann says she dated him a couple of times and realized he was not for her and so for the past few months he has been texting her. The real tea is, that as someone on the show mentioned last week, maybe it was Ramona, that Luann met this Rey character at party a year before this was filmed and they went to Ibiza and had a falling out on the way to Cannes.  The real story as I have since heard it is that the party that Luann met Rey at was the Upfronts. That was the year that Sonja hooked up with Paul Nassif after the upfronts.  Luann cops to dating him twice and oh yeah, going to Ibiza, and kind of dating him again when she gets back to New York.

Now we have dueling stories about the incident at John’s party. Luann left before things got crazy but Sonja says that Ramona was being erratic. Luann says Ramona has always been one to throw the stone at the glass house. Looks like they are not going to take up for Ramona when it comes to disrupting John’s party.

Later, back home at Grey Gardens, it’s December, and Sonja can’t afford to run the heat. Can’t Luann pay something toward the heating bill while she is there?  Luann discovers that they are in The Post.  Do you know why Luann discovers it? Because she was the source. Allegedly. I mean the story reads almost word for word how Luann described it last episode. Sonja does the chicken dance when Luann gets to her name. They were both thrilled to have their names in The Post despite the uncouth nature of the story. #MediaWhores Then they go back to talking about sex. Luann says her man doesn’t need Viagra unless he slips it in the bathroom without telling her. Resident Viagra experts says, “ No, You would know. It’s up all the time. Like a sun dial.” Oh Sonja, at least you are funny at times.

Dorinda meets Sonja on the streets and they go for a walk and have a seat on a bench to chat. Sonja talks about how hot and cold Ramona is running with her lately and gives as part of an example of a mean thing she said that no one invites her to parties anymore because she is embarrassing.  Which is uncomfortable, because Dorinda is there to tell her she is not invited to the Berkshires. This will not go well. Wow, Dorinda is good. She says she is inviting the girls up to her house but she doesn’t think it is healthy for Sonja to be around all that, so she would love to come up the following day, just the two of them to hang out. Bravo! This solves the Bethenny won’t film with Sonja issue and keeps Sonja from ruining her event. In her talking head, Sonja rightly points out that Ramona is the one who ruins all of her events and she gets to go to the party. Aw. Poor Sonja. I do feel bad for her in this instance. But you really don’t want to piss off Bethenny. I have a feeling Dorinda had a conversation with her before this scene was filmed.

Sneaking in an oldie but goodie gif

Sneaking in an oldie but goodie gif

Luann’s Dinner Party

Luann has a dinner party to introduce Tom to some of her friends. The only RHONY who are there are Dorinda and Jules because Luann just wants to introduce him to those who she knows will be supportive. Two scenes about Luann said that Dorinda introduced her to Tom let’s see if that stays true throughout this dinner.  Tom and Luann talk about how they met. John inserts some gross joke that flops. Everyone acts like adults and has a good time so it’s a short scene.

Dorinda’s Party in The Berks

Dorinda loves Christmas and seems really excited for this weekend. Ramona arrives very early ready to be fed, so while Dorinda plays the good hostess role, Ramona’s dog poops on the very expensive looking rug in the foyer.  Ramona should never eat on TV until she learns how to chew like a civilized human being. Dorinda has to clean up all the dog poop, because?

When Luann and Jules arrive the four ladies argue about Sonja not being invited. Ramona says that Sonja needs to work on herself and get her head on straight. Luann was right about that stone throwing. Bethenny arrives and says Sonja is blowing up her phone. Then Bethenny blows up Luann for dating Ramona’s old flame. Bethenny is really poking at Luann. Is she trying to get her to leave before Carole shows up?

Next week: Dorinda’s part goes to shit. Dorinda put a lot of work into this party only to have Ramona bring her shitting dog, Bethenny to abuse the hell out of Luann, Ramona to come for Luann for dating Tom. And someone has a weird vaginal procedure.

43 Comments

Filed under Bethenny Frankel, Carole Radziwill, Countess Luann, Dorinda Medley, Entertainment News, Julianne Wainstein, Ramona Singer, Real Housewives of New York, RHONY, Sonja Morgan

43 responses to “Real Housewives of New York Recap: All The Countess’s Men

  1. ericzku

    I was awestruck too by Ramona’s generous helping of caviar. I was like, “Damn, Ramona! Hog much?”

    I was also awestruck by the 10-cent plastic takeout spoon she was taking it with. Come on, Bethenny. Everyone knows you use a nacre spoon with caviar!

    I was surprised that LuAnn copped on TV to having had sex with Rey. Because gross.

    • Dee

      Has anyone noticed that Bethany’s face looks different? It seems to have happened at the same time she cut her hair short. Her face looks softer, her eyes look different as well. Thanks

      • tamaratattles

        Bethenny has a natural very severe jaw line She got filler injections to round out and soften her face. She talked about it somewhere recently,

      • Dracla Dunning

        I noticed the change as well and it is not flattering. The hair length at the jaw line level seems to accentuate her wide jaw, making it appear wider to me. The fillers give her the alcohol bloat look.
        She should have left her hair the longer length of the cuts with an asymmetric, edgy style. She could carry-off a rocker look even in business attire.

    • K

      It’s a garnish!

  2. Tp

    I don’t like the Bethenney/ Carole team. Carole holds a grudge like no other! Geez! And B fights her battles. It’s annoying.

  3. Tp

    I do wish that Dorinda would dump John already! He’s disgusting, rude and dying for as much camera time as possible. Ramona was dramatic and out of line but the way John threw his hands in her face way far worse. How can Dorinda be attracted to this db? He’s the worst!

  4. GlobalServices

    In Ramonian, I gotta say, “Ohhhhhhh boy”. Luanne literally displays some of the most explicit “c***ish behaviour (Simin VK’s words, not mine!) that I have seen on any HW franchise in a long time.

    With that said, I gotta hand it to her – she’s a great housewive and great TV – she’s quick on her feet with verbal fights and goes up against Bethenny in a way that most of r others are either unable or unwilling to. Still, she’s all wrong and I agree with SImonVK about her. LOL

    Plus Andy also said on tonight’s WWHL (which was a total snooze-fest with the perpetually sedated ms. Xanax herself, Paula Abdul) that next weeks episode will go down in the top 5 of all RHONY history. I can’t wait!

  5. Puddy

    The “moist” joke of John’s – uttered at Luann’s party — was just gross. “Enough already” as Dorinda likes to say. The way that Bethheny attacked Luann was uncalled for, Ramona letting her dog go all over Dorinda’s house – make John and Ramona a perfect match, Dorinda’s exclusion of Sonia was not “gracious and kind” as D likes to say she is (although from the preview – it looks like karma is a bitch), and for Jules to worry about a nanny’s ability to handle the sample sale at “Bon Point”? Seriously? I did think that Luann and Sonia in matching breakfast fur vests, bc no heat, was kind of cute – but it did seem that Lu could have paid for the heating bill – especially as her digs with Sonia brought her luck in the romance dept.

  6. Dee

    Re: Ramona, I guess if there are people sensitive to the feelings of others, she could be on the opposite end of spectrum. She seems to have no manners. I was shocked by the amount of caviar she took. It’s not a meal.

  7. DalaiMama

    Nice to have Jules’ weekly stab at playing younger-than-thou interrupted. At the Meet The Dagostinos dinner she randomly inserts, “So…Michael said this used to be a place called Tatou? I don’t know what that…” and then someone else talks over her, depriving her of the chance to look bewildered while bleating, “What mean iPod? What mean TV tray? What mean famous 90’s nightclub?”

  8. Bethany is such a hunk of shit. I can see looking down on a woman because she’s an embarrassing lush. Or has a jackass boyfriend. But screeching about the number of sex partners and saying their ages?? Wtf? How is that anything to bitch someone out for?? Is this 1930? Bethany…well I think she needs dick. Or some kind of hormone balance thing? Or a hysterectomy. She’s fucking horrid. I don’t particularly care for the Newgirl. But the whole Asian thing is rude and stupid. There are plenty of things that Bethany feels the need to repeat about herself. Why does she have the right?

    This show is getting hard to watch. Every single one of them has problems with at least one other woman. It’s hard to even keep track. Dorinda needs to get the hell out. She’s semi-normal although she’s got issues and a crappy boyfriend. That whole “was your cellphone wet like a vagina” implication was commit inducing.

    • SaraSally

      How’d h at the procedure has proven successful, Bethany would be a great candidate for surgery. We can set up a GoFundMe page to raise money for her Addadicktomy. Or we can get her a shock collar for when she goes over her word quota per episode. When she’s not pulverizing her own state of being, she willing & ready to blow up someone else’s.

  9. cammierari

    The fur vests over pjs look was the best! LuAnn is so tacky complaining about the heat when she’s free loading!
    I love Bethenny, but she was rude to Sonja unnecessarily. And she needs to find a new way of ending conversations that she doesn’t want to have. She’s very dismissive and it’s not a good look.
    WHY do people bring their dogs if they think they might POOP indoors??
    Very shocked at the nanny interview questions from the Asian Jew. Sample sales? Put together an outfit? Do you do blowouts? Yikes.
    I hope Dorinda and Ramona don’t become the new Jill and Bethenny because of the show :(

    • Why do you think Luann is freeloading? Since Sonia implied that she offers that space on AirBNB, I assumed that the countess is paying her keep.

      • Lime Brain

        My guess is that Bravo is paying Luannes rent. Otherwise we’d probably be hearing them argue about it all season.

        As to Sonja and the heat, it’s the middle of winter in NYC. Who doesn’t turn the heat down at night when they are sleeping? And why does Luanne feel the need to prance around in her slip? There’s no men around to impress and it’s basically women who watch the show. News flash! There’s a thing called a bathrobe. Put one on and quit bitching.

        It couldn’t have been that cold in the townhouse. They still had bare arms and legs after they put their fur vests on.

      • I’m pretty sure that Luann has enough class not to throw the rent thing out there. I don’t imagine that Bravo is paying. Or maybe the edit is holding that tidbit back for later so it can be shocking.

      • jen

        Or maybe Luanne doesn’t actually live there and stops in to film scenes for tv show because Bethany talked everyone else inti not filming with sonja?? Hmm….no way its all real.

      • Hmmm I missed where she said that her space was on AirBNB-and the thought never occurred to me that LuAnn might pay. I would definitely be asking for heat if I was paying rent, but somehow Sonja and LuAnn seem to me like the kind of rich society person who imposes on their “better off” friends on the regular.

  10. The site is working, thanks TT.

  11. I so am not on board with Bethenny and her shut shaming LuAnn screaming about the number of men she has slept with. What business if it of hers and just how does it effect her in the least. Apparently it did not hurt her chances of finding a mate as she is now engaged to be married.

    That was beyond tasteless. I would rather have watched an hour of Romona’s dog popping on the rug than that.

  12. Aerin

    Dorinda’s scathing glare at John, Ramona’s shoveling of caviar, and the fur over pajamas were my favorite moments of ridiculousness this week. I can’t even with the dog poop. I’d kick someone out of my house for far less, and my house isnt even nice!

  13. Please have a Luanne and Sonja spin off BRAVO, please? Can’t they just live together forever? That slipper/kitchen scene was everything. Love their banter…love their glasses, lip gloss and fur.

    I’m with teecee and everyone else who is over Bethenney. She’s as thirsty or thirstier than a penniless famewhore, creating needless bs to be relevant. Why try so hard with the cruel, inflammatory bs to stay relevant when such a great success? (Btw I totally agree with B on the whole trademark thing against Sonja.) The Bethenney – Carole team up is a disaster in my book. Dorinda caving in to these two mean girls and not inviting Sonja was a disappointment. The whole choosing who to film with thing didn’t work for NeNe Leakes or Jill Zarin….and then to invite Ramona? Really?
    I was eating when the dog shit all over. I gagged. Literally.
    I wasn’t that bothered by the hand in the face thing…happens between two nasty drunks all the time. The moist comment is what should bother Dorinda. Reveals his desperate, foul character more than the hand. Hopefully maybe the show and exposure will help her find what she’s looking for. This guy has got to GO. I liked when TT wrote that Ramona may have a thing for John….not so much when Dorinda said same. TT also spot on what a hypocrite Carole is on the whole Dorinda-Ramona friendship over a man thing. Really used to like Carole…the beginning of the end was the way Aviva totally owned her in that stair case ghostwriter scene and things have only gotten worse. The cookbook with user-young guy shows she’s just not all that/desperate.
    That gif is hilarious…can’t remember what they’re singing? Kelly has no rythm, lol.

  14. I can’t wait until the next episode. They’ve been building to quite the crescendo. I am so sick of Bethanny’s attittude especially her bringing up who Luann has slept with. I’m glad that Luann doesn’t fall to pieces about it though.

    And we all agree Dorinda’s John is gross, and yay for this episode to be over. It was bad enough to hear the m-word, but seeing it in all these comments #gags.

  15. Skeeter

    I haven’t watched the episode yet BUT I do agree TT, about Ramona’s chewing (and the way she does whatever it is with her tongue after swallowing, or maybe while swallowing each mouthful). I’m glad someone else noticed that!

    I’m no prude, but I find SonJa’s talk about sex disgusting. I am a few years older than her and just can’t believe what comes out of her mouth. I also think a lot of it is bullshit and she needs to stop before she ruins her reputation. OOPS too late!

    Does anyone else see the disconnect starting between Carole and Adam? When she was facetiming with him (earlier episode) he seemed like he didn’t want to talk at all. This episode it was just the way he talked – seemed so distant to me. Who knows? It’s probably me! HA!

  16. Skeeter

    Sorry – the last paragraph about Carole and Adam I said “this episode”. I have watched the current episode yet!!! I was talking about the one where he made her something to eat and had “Carole” spelled out in vegtables. That was cute, but I just don’t see them together much longer. I get these episodes confused because I usually en up watching them OnDemand due to the husband’s bitching he’s not watching these skanks LOL!

    • Jim

      Carole and Adam are only together until the vegan cookbook comes out and they do the promotional tour. He’s using her for his 15 minutes of fame.

  17. AshK

    Like everyone else, I am so over Bethenney and Carole’s mean girl friendship. It’s too much. I hope during the reunion Andy brings up Carole’s comment about Ramona and Dorinda’s friendship ending over some guy being horrible blah blah..

    And just gonna say – I respect LuAnn because she owns her shit. She may have had more partners than anyone else on this show, but she doesn’t deny it. Bethenney’s just mad she can’t get any.

    • Librarygirl

      Beth 8s just mad, period. Like an 80 yr, old sour faced lady,
      . Hard to believe that she is the mother of a preschool child. She must be fun at the PRO meetings, lol.

  18. d

    I actually give LuAnn credit for finally owning who she is, and being the person Bethenny tried to call her out on in Season 1. Bethenny always said Lu was acting the part of what she thought a Countess should be, and how she wished Lu would just be herself.
    I was surprised Lu admitted to sleeping with that Rey character. Or as Lu put it, she “f***ed him.” 😮 It has taken me a minute to get used to “after divorce Lu”, but I respect her for feeling free to be her true self now.

  19. PaganChick

    I don’t think it was hypocritical of Carole to make the comment about a friendship ending over a guy. Carole and Luann were never really friends. Luann grated on Carole’s nerves when Carole first came on. And the next season, they had called a truce and were only just getting to know each other. Then Adam came in to the picture and Luann lost her shit about it.

    That is really different from Ramona and Dorinda having been friends for 20 plus years and having that be in jeopardy because Ramona is too dense to keep her feelings to herself when it comes to John. If everyone would stop trying to convince Dorinda of how awful John is, she would be able to clearly see it for herself. But as long as people are complaining about his grossness, she is going to cling to him that much more.

  20. My only comment is about the picture of the group. That dress SonJa is wearing is so lovely and she is screaming sex kitten in it. Oh, one other thing I really can’t get on board with Dorinda not inviting SonJa to the getaway but yet allows friends to bring real untrained bitches to her house. I bet SonJa would have never pooped on the expensive oriental rug. IJS.

  21. tamaratattles

    Bethenny is being a cunt to Luann and Sonja because they were holding out on their contracts demanding to be paid like Bethenny. It didn’t happen and they fell in line I don’t know why Bethenny is so pissed about it unless maybe Andy told her what pains in his ass they were and she is mad on his behalf. Or maybe they cause the filming schedule to change and caused her issues.

  22. Briannatozer16

    I’m def with Dorinda all the way for not inviting Sonja. Sonja can’t hold a match to a candlestick let alone verbally meet Bethenny in a confrontation. Bethenny seemed to be drunk or on pills or something the way she started in w Luann, or maybe she’s still mad at Sonja so she’s taking it out in Luann. Lu has never been my favorite housewife but I felt bad for her bc she seemed so caught off guard by Bethenny. I’m def in agreeance with everyone that said B is doing Carole’s dirty work. Bethenny and Carole must’ve talked before to come up w a plan to get Lu to leave early, that’s the only thing that would make sense with B’s bitchy attitude especially bc it didn’t even seem real. The way she laughed when Luann said she was helping Sonya seemed beyond fake. Luann is Bethenny and Carole’s only storyline 💤

  23. T D

    Dorinda had to pick up poop because Ramona doesn’t own her shit or her dog’s.

  24. Gabriella

    TT. Love that my name and email address is already in the boxes and I don’t have to type them in!!

  25. After reading this recap and thinking about the collective cavilling, kvetching and caterwauling issuing forth from these ladies, I can’t help but hearken back to (this morning when I watched it) Season 1 Episode 1 of RHoNY when 12 year old Avery Singer, in a talking-head worthy of the prophetess Cassandra, brightly pipes up and says, “Sometimes they just get a bit too carried away and they’ll do silly, ridiculous things that are unnecessary. They’ll just do things that are unladylike. When I’m with my Mom and she’s with her friends, it’s usually fine, but sometimes it gets a bit out of hand and it’s embarrassing.” Seven seasons hence, and Avery’s words are still spot-on. Ridiculous. Unnecessary. Embarrassing. Almost as ridiculous as the lustful, covetous urges I feel for the sunglasses Dorinda is wearing on top of her head when she lets Sonja down gently. Reader, I want those sunglasses. I need those sunglasses. I love those sunglasses. And I need those glasses to need me too.

  26. Bushwick

    I watched it again and couldn’t believe how hostile Bethenny was toward LeAnn. From the minute she walked in she started taking swipes. Ugh… I hope she’s aware of this blog and how much disdain there is toward her. She & her lackey, Carol need a reality check. It’s too bad, they won’t get it from this cast. Except for Lu, they’re all too busy trying to be down, kissing the mean girls asses.

  27. jen

    Bethany was such a bitch to Luann. It was just so unnecessary. Poor Dorinda putting together this nice night for these bitches and all she gets in return is shit all over her rug and screaming. Bethany was channeling full cunt.

  28. jen

    And Ramona with the “oh I dated him and hiw did she know we weren’t still seeing each other,” such bullshit. You aren’t seeing him so get over it. Ramona is jealous.

  29. The past two episodes have been so good. These women are freaking lunatics!

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