WWHL With Reza Farahan and Luis D. Ortiz

WWHL Reza and Luis
I actually fell asleep before this show aired last night and slept until 8 a.m. so I didn’t have time to recap. Thank the gods that I may actually be back on a regular sleep schedule. I actually had breakfast and everything this morning. Three cheers for getting on normal people’s schedules!  So today I was not going to recap this, because Reza, but Luis is on and I love him so here we go! .

WOW! The second the show goes on air we hear Reza off camera call someone a “psycho bitch” before Andy, whose tie is even more cockeyed than usual, can do his introduction. Seriously, we are not two seconds in and Reza is calling someone a bitch and Andy looks like he has been swung around the room by his necktie. This may be better than expected.

Adam is the bartender.  He is wearing some bizarre type of getup that I cannot begin to explain. Perhaps I will find a picture later. The big news is that Adam has changed his name to Farahan effective yesterday. Wait, how can any legal matter be “effective” on a Sunday?  OMG! Andy has out come out from behind the bar to show off his interesting ensemble and it is a vile, very deep necked, crocheted jumpsuit. I have no words for this. Clearly, Adam is into humiliation. NTTAWWT.

Reza explain that he and Adam have their actual Cartier love rings and the estate sale ring was just a little something on top. He shows us his own ring finger and we see he has the love ring with another ring on top too. I will refrain from public remarks speculating about the meanings of the second rings.

WWHL Adam jumpsuit

Best I could do for a photo. Trust me this is more than enough.

 

Reza told Andy before the show started that Luis has made out with GG. Luis cops to a single kiss in NYC while out with Fredrik and some other Bravo people.  But Reza feels the need to tell Luis he needs to disinfect his mouth, and Andy feels the need to list other Bravolebs that GG has “been with” he begins with Jax , as if counting on his fingers, and that is as far as he gets. He speculates about some “Below Deckers.” Reza says, “no one has put her in escrow though” and even my sweet Luis laughs and laughs with the two biggest misogynists on Bravo.  Seriously, what is wrong with these two? Is it because they don’t have sisters? Wait  does Andy have a sister?

Andy asks who Reza thinks is at fault regarding Mike and Jessica’s divorce.  Reza says Jessica because “She might have been in a relationship when all of that was going down.” Andy says, “You’re saying she was not the only one who was cheating?”  Thank you Andrew for finally saying out loud that Mike was cheating. Reza responds saying that he was trying to get her back (after she left him for cheating) and she was getting a Rolls Royce and a Rolex from another guy. But Reza, she had left by that point you idiot! Reza claims that once she started having issues with the new guy she wanted to come back to Mike. I don’t believe that. Last I checked (which I admit I don’t do often) she was still with the guy!  One thing about Reza is he is consistent in blaming and disparaging females. We are four minutes in and he’s already gone in on GG and Jessica.  Reza admits he knew Mike was cheating. Hell, the entire Internet knew Mike was cheating. I had chicks crawling out of the woodwork and into my email with cheating stories.  All were very similar and most met him on Instagram through a pyramid scheme.

shahsrezamj
Andy asked who is telling the truth about why MJ didn’t go to the wedding. MJ said on WWHL that is was because of Mike’s cheating and Mike told Andy it was because he wouldn’t give her a plus one to bring Vida.  Reza says MJ did know about the cheating, along with everyone else on planet earth, but she didn’t come because Mike didn’t want Vida at the wedding. Reza goes on to insult Vida.  Female body count is now at three and we are four minutes in. Andy just laughs and laughs.

Adam says he really was completely in the dark about the wedding. He was very happy that it did happen. Their marriage is going amazing and they are already talking about kids. Reza takes a big  drink after that comment.

Andy says that Luis is “so cute” and Reza says “hello! That is why the snake made out with him because he is so cute!” Luis is all embarrassed.

When Andy asks who gave the best gift he said MJ she gave them a bunch of stuff. Then he says Mike gave a great gift too. As he explains some nonsense about how Mike gave them a check for $626 and he gave Mike a check for $500 ( net gift of $126 if you are playing along at home) he seems to be making eye contact with someone in the audience.  It seems clear Mike is there with them. I shall wait to see if Andy acknowledges him. Mike being three feet away might explain Reza’s bizarre answer about the divorce.

Sidenote: There was a twitter war last night where MJ tweeted to Mike that his father cheats on his mother and Mike has multiple diseases.  It seems most of this battle has been removed. Mike was really pissed with MJ both on the show and last night. I didn’t really understand the REAL issue.  I do know that somewhere, Mike Shouhed was shitfaced.

mdlny luis
Andy plays a gut wrenching talking head from the upcoming episode of #MDLNY where Luis is very emotional about not having a woman to share his triumphs with. I’m glad It’s nice bright sunny day and not 11 pm after a bottle of wine when I watched that.

A caller asks why Reza lets MJ be so rude about his wedding? Really it’s rude to tell a guy who has previously left his groom at the altar that a surprise wedding is a dumb idea?  Reza responds, ” You know, I love that bitch…” and the audience laughs.  Reza says she was acting like her mom but he is stuck with her for the rest of his life and they got past it.

A caller from Puerto Rico asks Luis about why he is still single. He says he has been working on himself to get ready. Reza jumps in to say that he can see the outline of Luis’ penis in his suit. He goes on to say he has been eying it since they were in the green room together. Even Andy found that comment weird.

Remember this old flame in Puerto Rico?

Remember this old flame in Puerto Rico? Note her closed body language as he tries to make amends.

There is no Shahs next week. There must be an awards show or a big sports event or something. Don’t laugh I don’t keep up with these things. I’m just making a mental note I have next Sunday off.

Andy asks what Reza thinks about MJ and Tommy’s relationship. He says, “You know if the bitch is happy…” More giggles from the audience.  Then he says, “It’s like…she’s on the sale rack, you know…” The he says he was just joking. See? I do not hang around people who joke like that. Even if it means not hanging around my own family functions.

Finally, someone asks Luis about Ronita’s his assistant who I think would be a great match for him. He actually says she encompasses all the qualities he looks for in a woman but she is not….. he trails off and say…she’s my assistant. BUT SHE COULD STILL BE YOUR WIFE LUIS! #TeamLunita

Do clients hit on Luis often? Yes, but he tries to keep it professional. Reza on the other hand makes a comment that was bleeped about what he would do to close a deal. Heavy sigh.

Why weren’t any members of Reza or Adam’s family at the wedding. Reza said because it was all about Adam. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!  Excuse me. And they are planning something for all of the family.

They play a new stupid game called shotski ball that results in Luis having to drink four shots one after the other, which he does. Seriously, Andy? The dude is 80 pounds and likely to get alcohol poisoning.

After the break Luis is drunk and Andy suggests a three way with the newlyweds. Reza is quick to say they don’t do that and gay marriage requires a lot of crazy glue and work to stay together. Luis seems slightly disappointed by this news, I must say.

Reza says he did NOT get a prenup. Interesting. Welcome to California, the 50/50 state Adam. Try to hang in for ten years.

When asked about Shervin, Reza says he likes him but “him and the snake” are too close so it’s hard for me to get close to him. He continues to refer to GG as “the snake.”

The poll question was who would you want as your realtor, Luis or Reza?  They said Luis by 78%! Finally the morons get something right.

I hope they get Luis in an Uber because he really is wasted.

27 Comments

Filed under Entertainment News, Million Dollar Listing New York, Reza Farahan, Shahs of Sunset, Watch What Happens Live, WWHL

27 responses to “WWHL With Reza Farahan and Luis D. Ortiz

  1. Shae

    I absolutely adore Luis. My cable and DVR are on the fritz so I didn’t even know these two were on! Thanks so much for the recap. I really hope Luis finds a lady deserving of him, he has such a wonderful/positive spirit. He will be a great catch for someone, someday :)

  2. Toni

    Did something happen between Reza and GG that I missed? Reza was being nasty for even Reza.

  3. Cat

    South Park needs to do a follow up episode, because Reza is clearly the Biggest Douche in the Universe.

  4. KaraW

    Yes to all of this! I realized after posting about Shah’s the other day that the whole reason I don’t watch Shah’s is Reza…. and it feels like it’s all about Reza. Sometimes I find him funny, but then other times the constant use of the word bitch makes me crazy. The crooked tie was hilarious since you’ve been posting about it so often.

    Glad you are feeling better. Thanks for all your work on these postings!

  5. Minky

    Oh my DAMN!!! WTF is wrong with Reza?!!! I really hope he’s just acting up for the cameras. He sounds like the biggest, woman-hating, scum bag in the history of the Universe! How and why is MJ still friends with him?

  6. Cheychey

    I just hope Luis did not come alone cause Andy was getting him awfully intoxicated and constantly telling him how cute he was. I think Andy had some million dollar listings on his mind and the real estate was just south of Luis’s belt.

  7. G.

    No Shahs for Memorial Day.

  8. Mark

    Eugh. Reading that back without watching it sounds like some predatory gay-for-pay casting and Luiz is the vulnerable tennage runaway. Skin majorly crawling over here.

  9. Calipatti

    In Californua it is very wise to marry your equal income earner or get a prenup if you plan on children.

    I don’t like Reza or Andy, “poor” Adam looks so happy.
    I don’t understand why jessica thought Mike would stop cheating when they married. Will it be difficult for her to obtain a Jewish divorce (forgot the name) or she won’t care?

  10. Lime Brain

    I didn’t watch this episode yet, but it seems like Reza is making Michael Rappaport look good. That’s no small feat. I bet he makes his mother proud.

  11. puddy

    Luis is so cute and adorable and with a good heart. Truly refreshing. It was not nice to make Luis down 4 shots! He is such a good sport! I also hope Andy called an uber to take Luis home!

  12. Jim

    Ok, I’m going to say what some of us are thinking. And this is purely conjecture on my part. But maybe the reason that Luis hasn’t found the ‘right girl’ is because he’s not looking very hard… or at all. From the very first minute he appeared on the show, my first thought was that they hired another gay broker to compete with Fredrik.

    I also don’t get the feeling that he’s trying to deceive anyone by hiding his homosexuality. I just don’t think he’s comfortable with his true self and hasn’t accepted it yet. But that may just be projection on my part. I was also a relatively handsome young man MANY years ago who could never find the ‘right girl’. When I was finally able to admit to myself that I should be looking for Mr. Right (or Mr. Rightnow) instead, well that was a major relief!

    • Calipatti

      Jim, maybe but I don’t see Luiz in that way. He became consumed by his business and for good reason he doesn’t date clients so unless he is out on the town it will be difficult.

      Also you know when you are looking it’s difficult, it happens when we are not looking.
      Luiz is so young he has time.

    • tamaratattles

      I go back and forth on this , Jim My Gaydar is impeccable if you are from the US, but he is from Puerto RIco which galls into to “Gay or European” conundrum. And I know PR is not European but you understand

      • Jim

        I probably shouldn’t do this but I’m going to make some broad generalizations about Latino/Hispanic gay men based on my own experiences.

        Many of them will never admit that they are gay even if they have sex mostly or exclusively with men. I think it’s probably because of Catholic guilt and not wanting to disappoint their mothers. I think they actually believe that they will eventually settle down and raise families with a nice girl. And quite a few of them do have wives and children at home but pursue gay hookups on the side. Their seems to be a lot of shame associated with being openly gay mostly due to not being able to procreate and raise families. And that’s the vibe I get from Luis.

        I sincerely hope I haven’t offended anyone! I’m just relating my own experiences and I may be totally misinformed.

      • More Tea Please!

        Jim, you are dead on about gay Latinos. I was born and raised in South America and full out gay men were the rare exception, including my great uncle who lived openly with a partner in the ’70s.

        I’m still on the fence about where Luis falls, maybe he is too.

  13. claire

    WTF no prenup?! I sure hope he at least has a will. Me & hubs in probate Hell right now with my dead BILs disgusting widow. People: if you live in California HAVE PAPERS! #PSAbyClaire

  14. Blondesense

    Oh god, the sale rack? How misogynistic and depressing.

  15. Larry

    The last time I watched Reza he was blasting his best friend MJ for being a convicted felon who lies about her age and drinks too much/pops pills. Then from what I gather he fell out with Mike, and now GG is the bad one. Whatever. I’ll tune in when it’s his turn to be the outsider. I didn’t even get to a point where I saw him as misogynistic. I just think he’s an all around jerk who shouldn’t be validated with fame.

  16. Roposhu

    Thanks for another great recap TT! I can never stay up late enough to watch WWHL, and I don’t have a DVR, so I always appreciate your recaps :) Question, what does NTTAWWT mean?

  17. minimogul

    Tamara…great recap.

  18. Dracla Dunning

    I am sickened to think that Reza and Adam are considering adoption and a child will have to spend 18 years with Reza as a parent. No child should be exposed to Reza.
    Too bad those who make the ultimate placement decision cannot use footage from Shahs to make a determination.

Please Read the COMMENTING RULES before commenting.