Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Secrets Revealed

RHOBH Kyle eyes

Technical Note: I THINK the mobile device commenting issue may be fixed. I’ve been working on it all day. I hope it works, but let me know either way. It seems that the mobile plugins (and other stuff) on JetPack revert to the default settings when there is a major WordPress Update and I have to go in redo all the settings. How convenient!

I am going to try to hit the broad strokes of this “Secrets Revealed” since I doubt there will be any secrets revealed.  Let’s find out!

Kyle

Secret:  Kyle didn’t consult LVP about building her closet. Because Faye Resnick was doing it. Though LVP tries to say Kyle did consult her and Kyle placates her with some nods.

Not so Secret: Porsha is a handful. Kyle keeps her busy will all sorts of lessons, horseback riding, piano, and acting. However, this doesn’t stop her from spending $10K plus on coins for Kim Kardashian’s stupid app. This was a major news story here locally, the app apparently requires a credit card number and the “coins” that the kids then buy to keep spending in the stores are VERY expensive. Portia is not disciplined for anything.

We saw Kim visit Kyle in Palm Springs.  Apparently when they were young they used to play “store.” Kathy would take their real money for things around the house and then sell them to them again later.

LVP

Not so secret: Swans are mean. We are treated to footage of one of the swans biting both Ken and Lisa. This is old footage.

Secret: LVP makes Ken get botox.  She’s says he is 70 and if he doesn’t need now, then when? Never. He’s 70 for fucksake.

Erika Jayne

Secret: Her new video is sort of awesome. She has almost a million views and it hasn’t even been up for a month yet.

Erika Jayne loves her husband. She also thinks Harry Hamlin is hot! Because, duh.

Yolanda

Secret: Yolanda filmed way more whackadoodle medical scenes than we saw. We see her at a “holistic chiropractor’s” office when she fishes dozens upon dozens of pills and other concoctions out of a tackle box. She holds each one as the “healer” tries to push down her extended arm. If he can do it, then needs to stop taking it. It’s hysterical.  Pushing the finder around an Ouija board is more believable than this.  She sees thrilled when she is told she can keep taking artesuanate, which is a medication that treats malaria. That is the only approved use of the medication.

RHOBH Yolanda

Also when she first walked in the guy told her she was looking better and she didn’t like that one bit.  She says this is the most authentic doctor ever. Who says that about a doctor. If you ask a friend if they like their doctor and would they recommend her and she said, “Yes! He is very authentic!” Wouldn’t that be a red flag? Then she says he is the doctor who told her that she had “plastic in her liver.”   They then show her explant and how the leakage were a couple of inches and they got it all. Yolanda then talks about having silicone all over her chest. She’s a nutbar.

Rinna

Not so Secret: Rinna took care of Amelia after she got her tonsils removed. The kid seems like an angsty teenager.

Not so Secret: Delilah is modeling.

Secret: Lisa said she was just joking around when she said she put on a strap-on once on Jenny McCarthy’s podcast

RHOBH Rinna Eileen Kathrryn Limo

Eileen

Erika went to visit Eileen on the Y & R set. I really like this friendship. Erika was impressed that her character is so mean and the opposite of her.

The show a clip of Erika in a movie called Alchemy in 1995.

Secret: Erika Jayne and Eileen went shopping and Erika Jayne bought Eileen a racy dress. She bough $700 worth of swim suits for herself.

So, Is this shit show of a season FINALLY over now?

83 Comments

Filed under David Foster, Eileen Davidson, Entertainment News, Erika Jayne, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

83 responses to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Secrets Revealed

  1. Betty

    LVP pushing Ken to get Botox. That’s the closest thing she has had to a storyline. Lisa looks taxidermied. Ick.

    • Dee

      OMG Betty that’s the perfect word for “the look”….taxidermied!! There are far too many taxidermied people in LA!

      • tamaratattles

        LVP has an issue with aging she is clearly in denial. Why the hell would a 70year old married many who is clearly impotent, need Botox to be more attractive to his wife?

        Surely nearly 50 years of marriage would make him attractive to her, no?

      • Lime Brain

        TT, I’m adding your comment to my list of why it must be LVP in the “English Love Affair” post.

      • T D

        Doesn’t growing old beat the alternative? The old cliché about youth and good looks has been replaced by superficial mummification. Why eradicate laugh lines and grey hair?

    • Wanda

      He walks like he is a lot older than 70; maybe 80.

  2. JanM

    Lisa Rinna flat out lied to jenny McCarthy about Harry Hamlin, or she lied at the reunion because Harry insisted on it . That was the only secret revealed. Lisa Rinna has no problem lying .

    • tamaratattles

      Oh please. Do shut up. My actual theory is your second one. Rinna pissed off Harry with her truth telling just like she pisses you off. LVP has not said a truthful thing ever on the show.

    • QueenB

      Exactly. The only reveal in this show is that Lisa Rinna lies under pressure. Or maybe Jenny McCarthy manipulated her off camera to say she boings her husband with a strap-on. Yeah that’s it.
      Rinna has NO credibility. She’s a nut case.

      • I didn;t watch becuase I just can’t anymore. Do like Erika’s video though. I thought Rinna said that she and LVP had a moment at the end of the reunion and that it would be seen on the Unseen footage episode. I’ve been looking for it but no one has written anything or posted. Anyone know anything about that? I think she said it in an interview with the inquisitor

    • Sharon

      I was really disappointed in Rinna this season and the strap on lie is just super ridiculous. Why say something like that? What a tool.

  3. Lime Brain

    Is that malaria drug a prescription drug and he prescribed it by how she held it?

    Maybe some doctor watched this and reports him to AMA or something. What a wack-a-doo-daly way of diagnosing things.

    • Minky

      Wouldn’t it be great if quacks got reported for their quackery? Wishful thinking I guess. The secret about all of Yolanda’s alternative medicine visits footage isn’t surprising at all. They cut it to make Yolanda look less crazy. Way to go Bravo! As if she wasn’t doing that herself on IG? Lord!

      On a side note, tonic water has a little bit of quinine in it, which used to be the treatment for malaria. Allegedly it still helps for menstrual cramps. So that’s why I drink it every now and again, mixed with a bit of cranberry or crane-grape juice and ice. I suppose gin or vodka would be a nice addition too. It’s yummy!

      I hope the issues with the website get fixed. It’s been off on my end lately. I comment and then it looks like my comment didn’t take. And then I look again, and there it is. BTW: I haven’t gotten any survey thing yet. Hope that helps.

    • queenmarie

      Cannot believe that either !!! How could anyone fall for that?

    • Matzah60

      I wonder if this ‘doctor’ prescribed the malaria drugs to her. I took malaria pills prescribed by an infectious disease doc before I left on a trip to India. I got really sick from them. Nausea and diarrhea for days and finally gave up on them. Unless yo is going to a third world country, why is she still taking these drugs?

      I don’t know if she is nuts or lying through her teeth at this point. I did notice when the Girardis were at her house and she introduced Tom to Gigi, David rolled his eyes and made fun of her for not being about to pronounce Erin Brokovich.

    • Jean

      Many years ago when Dr. Phil was a new show he did a lot of nutrition stuff for kids. I have always remembered the segment when a Dr. (long time ago I can’t remember name) took a teenager to the grocery store. He had the kid hold an avocado in his hand out stretched then pushed down on the kids arm and it stayed there. So the Dr did the same with oreos or something, could have been dorritos in the kids hand and down that arm went easy as pie.
      I also noticed that Yolanda trotted out Gigi to meet Erika and Tom which makes me think they were not old friends.

      • SaraSally

        I immediately questioned the old friend timeline when Gigi was introduced too. That whole scene was awkward. If Tom doesn’t have time for his wife, how is he going to do a courthouse orientation for a young person uninterested in investing the time in pursuit of a true career in law?

  4. 3Sweeties

    Erika’s body is incredible. She might be my favorite hw ever.

    • RosesandGin

      I second that, Erika does have an amazing body, and I love her as a HW. And thank you for pointing out the trotting Gigi out as a direct contradiction to the long friendship story line. I hadn’t thought of that, but it’s a great point.

  5. JustJenn

    A big not so secrect revealed was that Erika and Yolanda hardly know each other. When their families met it was like meeting a co-worker’s family for the first time.

    LVP wanting Ken to get Botox wasn’t the first time we’ve seen a wife force her husband to get Botox on one of these shows..they ALL have a problem with aging..wanting their spouse to look good isn’t a big deal in my opinion. I do think LVP could afford to skip a few sessions herself, though.

    • QueenB

      I agree. It’s Beverly Hills they are all obsessed with aging. Also Erika was clearly hired to back-up Yolanda despite her crazy lyme story.

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      I love my husband’s eye crinkles personally.

      • JustJenn

        I meant in terms of the RHW it’s not a big deal…all of them are about appearances.

      • Meredo

        @JustJenn, Great comment, so true. I personally don’t get all this love for Erika. I think she is one of the phoniest HWs ever and a bitch to boot!

    • Toni

      I had the same reaction about Erika and Yolanda’s scene with their families but, to be fair, I have very casual acquaintances for many years that I’d have to introduce my husband to their children. And it seems like her husband isn’t around all that much as he is busy working.

      I can’t get the image of Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin with the strap on out of my mind. Whatever’s going on in that bedroom is working for them, mostly feel sorry for the kids having to hear that.

      That Erika Jayne song is super catchy. I have to wonder how much her career earns though. She clearly has the top of the line stylists, choreographers, production…all that comes at a price.

  6. Lurker

    It was so precious and ironic that Porsha accidentally spent that much money on that dumb Kim Kardashian App. I had a grown woman coworker do the same thing. She was pissed!

    • queenmarie

      I guess I am just clueless or whatever but I just do not understand how or why anyone would get Kim K’s app and spend thousands of dollars on “virtual” dresses…….. Kyle said it was like $100 a pop—–does the site make it clear that its actually charging your credit card? WHY would anyone want to do that???? I mean, what do you get out of that?? I suppose I am just old and totally out of the loop LOL. But it suits me fine. : )

      • Kim K. app is a brilliant way to part fool’s from thier money.

      • Lindsay

        You can set the App Store to not ask you for a password or whatever when you make purchases. You can also set it to only ask every fifteen minutes. Portia must have had her cute little mitts on a device with all access.

      • queenmarie

        Lindsay—I bet they have since fixed that huh. LOL

        Calipatti—–it damn sure is—-she has made a fortune with the thing.

      • jen

        Not sure if it was this app discussed here but an app or game through Facebook cost a friend thousands of dollars her son racked up in a day!! True story. She called both companies and they would not reverse it even though he is 10. Credit card company would not return the money unless they filed a police report against their own son. Pretty frustrating to say the least!

      • Truly hate the Kardasians. Ugh! the pics they released of him on life support after saying the wouldn’t was detestable.

    • Dee

      I’m wondering how a child gets a credit card #.

      • I think the card used to purchase app was left open on account. Porsha also knows how to use a credit card.

      • iloveearlgrey

        You pretty much need one for iTunes or signing on to Apple apps. When i go to buy an App or music, my credit card is already on file so it just charges me. Kyle probably put in the CC number ones to register, then Portia racked up the charges because they never ask you to verify or enter anything else in after that initial registration.

  7. Yolanda’s doctor appeared to be using the wavy hand technique from A Charlie Brown Christmas. Loo loo loooo loo loo loo loo

  8. Amy Lou

    I live around the corner and down the road from Kyle’s La Quinta house. My neighborhood isn’t as fancy as hers – her neighborhood is pretty hoity toity but is neither the hoitiest nor the toitiest. Most houses in there sell for 2-3 million, which is nice for a second home, I guess. There’s a ton of houses for sale in there and many unbuilt lots – honestly, the area is beautiful (when it’s not summer and 110+) but it’s struggling – I’m betting Mauricio got a helluva deal. Plus from what I’ve heard and seen (I’ve been behind the gates) her ‘hood is full of snooty bitches who think not being skinny-mini is a major character flaw. My hairdresser has seen Kyle driving out of Target or Costco – I have yet to spot her.

  9. tamaratattles

    wow, could you be more jealous? Maybe 2-3 million is “nice for a second home you guess”? BWAHAHHAHHAHHAHA

    • Minky

      I know how Amy Lou’s comment sounds, but she definitely has a point. I can’t speak on the real estate situation all over the U.S., but here in California the ability to buy a large house doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re ballin’. A lot, and I mean A LOT, of the houses in swanky neighborhoods are owned by people who are up to their eyeballs in debt. In many cases, unless the property is part of an inheritance or was a foreclosure, forget it. Sometimes you’ll see someone move into and out of a home in the same year. And these people have fabulous clothes, cars, do yoga and pilates, shop at the right stores, etc…very similar to the women on this show.

      And out here people who belong to a certain income bracket wouldn’t be caught dead in Target or Costco. It’s the equivalent to eating at a family feed-bag restaurant like the Golden Corral. Bristol Farms and Whole Foods yes, like the labels on Yolanda’s packaged food from the “reading of the will” brunch with her family. Yolanda wanted those food containers displayed for a reason. They’re kind of a status symbol. So I understand Amy Lou’s skepticism. The situation in California has long since turned into a joke.

      • Minky, what the heck is happening, I’m agreeing with you. I agree with your comnent about where some people shop out here, very true. Except Costco, everyone shops there. They carry nitrate free bacon, wild free caught salmon and organic chicken. $18.00 /2 frizen small chickens. SMH!
        My daughter in laws would not shop Walmart or the local discount grocery. Target maybe but doubtful.
        Traders Joe’s, Whole Foods or certified organic delivered foods.
        I’m shocked they all show up and eat my meals. I have not killed one of them, yet.

      • Minky

        Oh, I feel you Calipatti! Do you remember when you could buy a pound of pasta or a gallon of gas or a pack of smokes for about $2/pound/gallon/pack? It seems like an eon ago.

        You’re right about Costco. A lot of people do shop there. Their cheese section is a dream. And HOW could I forget about Trader Joes?!!! 2 buck chug people!!! I was talking about it with someone today and they reminded me of Gelsons. I’ve never been there. So that’s that.

        Like Randy on “South Park” says: “Do you even know about ‘farm to table’ bro?”

        I have no problem whatsoever shopping at the mercado/carniceria. At “Top Valu” the other day I got a massive thing of pork chops for 89 cents a pound. That’s like 9-10 huge pork chops for about $9! A steal!!! And then some pork ribs too for the same price!

        Take your daughters-in-law to Top Valu or Numero Uno. I love it there! They’ve got stuff like glorious Turkish coffee, rahat lokum (aka Turkish delight), and imported packaged italian biscotti and cakes for a great price.

      • Sliceo'pie

        I grew up in a Waspy town on the east coast-lots of old money, my father worked his ass off to get there. Anyway..we still live in the area and most everyone here will belongs to Costco and will occasionally hit Target. People feel secure and don’t need to flaunt what they have. You can’t tell by looking at people around here who has money and who hasn’t..often it’s the most low key/laid back (worst dressed) people who have the most.

      • Angel

        In LA we have a truish joke that the more money u have, the more homeless u look. And if u have real $, u tend to be frugal and shop at Costco. Wannabes tend to show off

  10. VioletBlue

    I didn’t catch all the lyrics in Erika’s video, but I did hear “alligator-alligator” and
    “diamonds and Chardonnay, see you next Tuesday” lolol
    Pinky must be going crazy with the amount of pink Erika draped herself in!

  11. microop

    I really like Kyle and Mauricio and Portia is super cute and funny, but it will benefit her in the future to set some boundaries. I do think they are good parents though.

    Erika is amazing. I really want her back and to see her and Eileen’s friendship grow. Especially since I suspect Eileen might be single soon :(, I think Erika would help her sex it up!

  12. Meri

    In certain parts of California a 2-3 million home is not a fancy mansion. I lived in a tract home that I originally purchased for 30,000 and it wound up being worth nearly 800.000 several years later. I don’t think that the comment showed jealousy…just real estate facts about Callie. As far as Yolanda is concerned it is obvious that she is hooked on getting treatments and medicines for imaginary ailments and probably has no idea what (if anything is physically wrong with her). There are Doctors who will give you crap for just about any condition real or imagined. She is a mentally ill women who needs lots of help and I don’t trust her when she speaks about any of the other HW’s. She is a mess. She criticized Ken but her own husband called her so called “friends” “clowns”. She is a hypocrite and comes across as rather dumb, IMO. LVP looks good for her age and not overly botoxed or filled like some. Who said that Ken is impotent? How do we know that to be true? Erika is beautiful and smart but has very little personality and I don’t think that she and Yo are really close. Rinna is a pathological liar and Eileen tried way too hard to give herself a juicier story line this season. Some of her anger was ridiculous and out of proportion. Who cares about an affair that she had with her husband a zillion years ago and that everyone knew about anyway? All parties moved on and it’s long over. LVP was annoying when she probed and poked for information but that’s what some women do when they gossip and it didn’t require fifty apologies. She just went on and on and on and drew more attention to the long ago affair then LVP ever could. None of these people are really sincere or without sin so why single out any one of them as being the worst of the lot? They are what they are and that’s why some people watch (and blog) about them. If they kept quiet and were really nice all of the time no one would watch (or read) anything about them.

    • dahlsma

      This! So much!, thank you!

    • Sunshine

      Meri, I am going to cosign because I agree with everything you said.

    • microop

      I recently moved to southern California after years in Savannah. Its obnoxious here. A downtown perfectly preserved antebellum mansion would buy you a small 2-3 bedroom house in my parts. I’m in constant shock and am having to adjust big time to a much lower standard of living.

    • sandra

      Meri, Your post is a twisted, ridiculous ‘Mess.’ SMDH! But, I’m sure you’re a lovely person.

    • Dee Mart

      Bravo! I echo your sentiments exactly. This place has lost any shine it had once it jumped on the LVP hate/ Erika Jayne ass kissing bandwagon, blehh. Yes, we know LVP is manipulative, as are all of them or otherwise they wouldn’t be able to remain on this show! Ridiculous to create this as a season plot just to take the focus off Yolanda’s crazy and EJ’s sniper from the side techniques. Ring and Eileen need to stop trying to create drama with others and show us THEIR lives. I guess this is what happens when your hubbies can’t stand being around your drama. Anyway, I doubt I will continue watching BH if all those crones remain – I liked it for its over the top, lavish lifestyles of personalities of people like Kyle, Adrienne, LVP, Camille… not for the crap it has become. Should I apologize in advance for holding an individual opinion on this?

      Next!

  13. madame

    hoping one of the ladies will have the ‘canastas’ to call LVP out on her age ….
    i have no idea why bravo & the camerapeople mollycoddle the 75 year old (if she’s a day !)
    still laughing at the botox crack she made …
    ” welllllllll i tried botox for the 1st time about 4 years ago when i was 45 or 50 ”
    muahahahahahaaa ….
    & was just gettin’ over her refering to ken as a ‘stud’ a few weeks back …
    ugh , what a vile disgustin’ vulgar woman ….
    anywhere else in the world they would both be considered trash …
    c’mon eileen or erika , call her out ….lol

    • Cinnamon

      LVP is 55. The Index of Births are a public record and easily accessible online in the UK. She was most definitely born in 1960.

  14. VioletBlue

    I didn’t catch all of Erika’s lyrics, but I did hear “alligator-alligator” and “Diamonds and Chardonnay, see you next Tuesday” lolol
    And Pinky must be beside herself with all the pink that Erika surrounded herself with!

  15. RVA

    I wonder why Yolanda didn’t entertain the thought of maybe she was going through menopause.
    I hope we never have to hear the M word ever again.

    • Jessica White

      Yolanda did address the possibility of menopause causing her ill feelings at the reunion. She said she has a wooden pellet in her butt that monitors her hormones. So she’s apparently just fine, hormonally speaking.

  16. TT, Thank You for doing the work for out mobile device problem. I use my phone to read you while waiting at a Dr’s appt, anywhere I have to wait. Thank you.

  17. I watched Erika’s music video that is posted above and all i got to say is LABIA overload.

    WOW she has a smoking hot body & moves. She looks fricking fantastic. I love her and this song.

    • Dracla Dunning

      The video will be attractive to males as it is sexually laden. Troublesome to me are the scenes designed arond very young girls-pigtails, lollipops, short skirts, knee socks. The singing voice is “little girl” sounding to my ear. Why would Erica depict herself as a child? I understand it is fantasy but it is bent. Kind of sick if you ask me but I could give a fuck. The video is just Erica twerking (sooo yesterday), rubbing her leg, poking fun of the RHOBH, and like you said, repititious labia shots. The video will find its audience.
      As far as giving zero fucks, Chris Brown sort of coined that in one of his songs. I wonder if that is where she got the idea of zero fucks?

      • I see Erica growing into those words not getting them from anyone.
        A state of mind.
        Why would she care about a HW’s opinion about her? Who are they to her? Nothing.

        TT I still have commenting trouble (why I wrote so often, trying to find) but its doable.

      • Diana

        I bet her son must be proud. What man in his 20’s wouldn’t want to see his 40-something year old mother (regardless of youthful appearance) dressed in pigtails like a school girl licking lollipops and dancing in a sexually suggestive manner? I bet he’s even more proud of her “Mean Girl” personality and how his stepfather talks to her. But I guess this is why she chooses to target Lisa instead of opening her life up for us to view and judge!

  18. Meg

    Erica is the worst HW ever. I can’t stand her. She is so fake and annoying. She, Yolo, Eileen, Rinna need to go. They are useless. RHOBH needs some fresh blood.

  19. Miranda Aldridge

    I think LVP likes to think of she Ken as the Beckhams of their time. The only real similarity is that both David and Ken were professional footballers.

  20. Liz Whitney

    I would suggest that Porsha was given her first on screen crying scene. You know, Mommy helping with her acting class homework.

  21. Xanadude

    Many many months ago when I first discovered TT, there was a discussion on about the whole “if your arm goes down when pressure is applied to while you are a holding a certain medicine” nonsense. we all know, even Yolanda, that it’s BS and due to your mind offering resistance when you know pressure is going to be applied.

    That this was given airtime, even in a bonus cutting room floor time filler show, is ignunt.

  22. I actually enjoyed this episode. It was a nice break from the Munchausen brouhaha.

  23. More Tea Please!

    That holistic chiropractor was probably the straw that broke the marriage’s back.

  24. Xanadude

    Here’s the thing: Y’all know I love LVP, or, rather, the LVP we see on the show – and I think I’ve made it clear WHY I love her – because I have no doubt that what we are seeing is a made for TV version of their lives, and their real lives are far different (and, in my mind, very Jackie Collin-ish and decadent, hence the prudish facade we see – it’s the only way my mind can justify Cedric, Jax, etc). Is she manipulating events and people so that she appears better on the show? Of course she is, as are the rest of them. I take them all at face value for the reality we are presented with while knowing the real reality is different.

    That being said, Yolanda. Icky.

  25. Minky

    Hey there Cristina! I agree with you on every point.

    Are you or your ancestry from a certain part of the balkans? My name ends in an “ich” too.

    Re: the Wives in our language: Joj! Ajme majko moja! Koje su ovo krmace?! Jebo im prasac mater kurvu!

  26. Dee

    Tamara, thanks so much for fixing the site for us. I thought I was going blind 😉
    On another note, I see that other sites are giving you credit for your info and are providing links to your stories. Very cool!

    • Sliceo'pie

      I sound like a kiss-ass but I’m in awe of all the work it must take to run this site..If I have a problem I go to my husband or my 12 yr old son who’s a computer wiz ; )

  27. T D

    All the secret in the world can’t cover the stence of Yolanda’s journey. That’s no secret. Urinal cakes are better suited to remediate this stinking mess. In the hills you throw lime down when needed.The lemon grove thrived on freshly spewed manure.

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