Below Deck Mediterranean : Game Time!

Below Deck Med Jump

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And now, on with the show!  I am looking forward to recapping Below Deck Mediterranean and Tour Group tonight! I had made other arrangements for RHOBH Lost Footage but that fell through at the last minute so I will get to it ASAP!  Let’s get back to Greece!

We are back in the Mediterranean where idiots who are there are insisting on watching an American football game at 3 am.  This is why people hate American tourists. I do know that this is a bullshit storyline, but it is still infuriating.  If you can’t miss a football game, just stay home on the couch in your trailer park. Captain Mark saved the day and got the Internet streaming.

Tiffany is already bored being a maid. I get you have a Marine Biology degree and want to be a captain, but you are not. You are there to wait tables and scrub toilets. Quit your bitching. Also, I found the use of the Washington monument as a dick pic on your Instagram highly disrespectful. By the way, no one believes you are getting your captain’s license right after this, not even you. Come on Tiffany, I’m trying to like you out of a lot of poor choices. Work with me here.



At least Ben has realized that he is cooking in the middle of a sea full of fish and serving scorpion fish. I love this meal already. Why is he using green olives in a Greek salad?  Sidenote: I am currently obsessed with CANNED olives from Whole Foods. They are their 365 brand and quite inexpensive I love the black and the green and I just transfer them to a jar once I open the can. I’m hungry now.  Ben is being dismissive of everyone, including Captain Mark in the kitchen. It seems he can’t plate and talk at the same time. Plating is really not that difficult to do, Ben. Hannah continues to be terrible at presenting dishes to the guests. Maybe this is why Captain Mark wants printed menus. She’s not giving “seven star service.”

Hannah put Tiffany on overnight duty with the football fans. At some point the main maniac didn’t want her to leave because she was bringing good luck to the team. Hannah sort of quizzed the guy to see if she was watching the game. He made it seem like she was just sitting there chugging beers and cheering on the Steelers when really she was bartending all night. Hannah is mean to her and Ben sticks up for Tiffany. It looks like Tiffany is going to be Ben’s first conquest on the boat. I hope he buys her a hairbrush.

Jen, who last week wondered how Danny got through life since he has morals hates everything about Greece and misses home. Then why is she here? How the hell can you hate Greece? It’s gorgeous.

Captain Mark tells the deckhands that the docking spot is very tight for the disembarking. Jen of Zero Morals has an abundance of confidence. Captain Mark gets it in perfectly on the first try. It’s time to kick the guests off the boat.

Below Deck Med  departures

It’s our first tip meeting! I miss Captain Lee, but Captain Mark is growing on me. The entire tip was 15,000 Euros and the exchange rate is decent.  Captain Mark does not tell us how many ways the tip is split. He does say they need to work all day getting the boat in order and can take the night off. He cautions them about over indulging in alcohol on the boat.

On the first night out, Tiffany drinks an entire bottle of wine directly from the bottle before going out for a night on the town with the gang.  People are already starting to pair up and Hannah is on a mission to make everyone hate Tiffany as much as she does.  I’m sorry, where was I?  I got distracted by all the food they ordered. It looked so fantastic. They do a toast and drunk Tiffany refers to rude Hannah as “mom” so she calls Tiffany “trash bag daughter.”  At dinner it became even more obvious that Hannah wants to hook up with Ben, which will make his inevitable hookup with Tiffany even more brutal. Yay!  Also Bobby had his eye on Julia and was disappointed to discover she is in a long term relationship. Bryan, the head of the merry band of douchebags has a soft spot for Tiffany, but in sort of an older brother way. Jen thinks she is above everyone.

Off to the bar! Hannah is clearly obsessed with Tiffany. This is more than Tiffany’s mediocre performance, it seems that Hannah is starting to figure out the guy s like Tiffany. Tiffany casually mentions that she has no idea how she still awake since she got up at 4 am to work the football game.  It was not complaining. It was more like, “I have no idea where I am getting all the adrenaline for tonight.” Hannah is a bitch.  Hannah is berating Tiffany and Bryan comes to try and rescue her. Hannah sends him away and Tiffany acts like it’s fine so he retreats.

Later, Ben sits with Tiffany and gives her some support. Tiffany is a bit teary and a lot drunk. Bryan tries to explain to Hannah that their night out on the town is not the time and place to “give constructive criticism.” Hannah is wasted at this point. Bryan and Hannah are not going to be besties.

Next week: Danny, the most loveable person on the boat brings girls back to sit on deck with him. In all fairness I don’t think he really knew he was not allowed to do that. Also the charter is for a photo shoot for The Tilted Kilt and Danny gets a bit romantic with one of the models.  I am worried that Danny will be sent home. I really hope not, he is my favorite!


Filed under Below Deck, Entertainment News

12 responses to “Below Deck Mediterranean : Game Time!

  1. BKSweetheart

    Good recap. I love this show!

  2. Erica

    I love being back on a boat – any boat! Even through the TV. The captain is growing on me too. Tiffany made the mistake of not going to Hannah immediately to say “I am so new to this – I didn’t know what to do. He asked me to stay, AND he had me make drinks non-stop, so not all the other chores got done!” 1. That would have covered her ass and 2. Given everyone the maximum time to hustle and get shit done.

    I would also have more sympathy if Tiffany wasn’t drinking straight from the bottle in public and from the get go, right after the Captain said to watch your intake. I know Hannah isn’t perfect – Hannah needed to stop and really assess the whole initial situation a bit more calmly (and not just take the word of the asshat who demanded a football game at bumfuck o’clock in the morning and had about 23 drinks in 2 hours). But I’d be royally pissed if someone under me defied my boss by getting so shit faced then called me “mom” and then bitched about how tired she was when I actually gave her more hours of sleep than I gave myself.

    As for that table – I have the munchies now dammit!!! OMG. The only thing better than perhaps having Ben cook for me, would be to have dinner with Ben where he ordered dishes he wanted to try.

    Oh, Bryan doesn’t have a lot of room to talk about management style with his nasty trade comments. Hannah was making a mistake talking to a drunk person, but she was talking calmly to her. Also, he complained that she was confronting her employee on her night off when it wasn’t “the time and place” – HE WAS DOING THE SAME THING! As first mate – be a role model. Confront Hannah about it when she has calmed down (and perhaps sobered up a little herself)

  3. I am really starting to like Captain Mark. He was so calm and really pitched in to try to get that damned football game on for the guest!

    I would like them to show the Captains quarters once on these fabulous yachts – I have often wondered what they look like.

    Danny is also my favorite – when he told his back story about helping his family at a young age he seemed so sincere. He just seems like a nice guy. I hope he doesn’t go home and they give him a second chance.

    I really do not understand how Hannah can have so much experience as a head stew and yet be so bad at presenting the Chef’s food. It really is like she doesn’t give a F. And now that Ben has a soft spot for Tiffany I doubt she ever will.

  4. JoJoFLL

    I’m really loving this show right now!

    It is between yachting season so all the yachties are back in town and I’m trying to find some tea!

    I will say that the ones who act like assholes on Below Deck are quickly blackballed from the business.

  5. DJFL

    “If you can’t miss a football game, just stay home on the couch in your trailer park.” This is what I said last week. If you can’t miss a fucking football game, don’t travel out of the country.

  6. belladonna

    I’m liking Captain Mark. His caterpillar eyebrows are disturbing, but he seems like an awesome guy. I already hate Jen. What a nasty attitude, and the complaining about how awful Greece was because of old buildings, and wanting Starbucks…. Yuck, what an awful travel companion.

    Ben has such awful taste in women. He goes for easy and messed up.

  7. Xanadude

    Where I grew up, because of geography, you were either a Steelers fan or a Browns fan. And never the twain shall meet. And you were fanatical in your devotion. So, yeah, when I saw the guest insist on watching the game, I wasn’t all that surprised or appalled.
    I DID pause several times to see the Grecian breakfast cereal they were eating. I kinda want to find it now to try it out.

  8. Demeter

    Can someone tell me why they replaced Capt. Lee?

    • Pip

      I don’t think they have replaced Captain Lee. I think this is a spin-off of Below Deck (this one being in the Mediterranean). They are filming another season of Below Deck in the Carribean and I believe I saw him slated to do that one. I am hoping Kate- Bonnie Kate will be on that one, also.

  9. Auntie Velvet

    I never agreed with TT about Kate, so I’m relieved to find common ground with Hannah. That walking away mumbling insults, while on shift, is a really dick move, especially from a boss. That was all in front of Ben, so I’m not surprised he developed a soft spot for Tiffany even before she got her flirty drunk on.

    • tamaratattles

      Sequoia’s (my friend with poor taste in other women) stupid girlfriend, Kate at least knew how to present food to the guests. Sure she called them all fucktards behind her back and is a terrible excuse for a human being, But she does know how to be Chief Stew. This Hannah bitch can’t hold a candle service wise and is equally cunty.

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