I wait my entire week for this show. I love this show. Shall we watch this show together? I’m sort of over my freaky lesbsotronic attraction to Tami and have jumped on the Zac train with all my gay male friends. Either way, I do have way more gay interactions than straight ones these days. I reckon I should bathe and care about getting laid again. By a guy. A straight guy. But that would require washing my hair and shaving a winter’s worth of hair off my legs, which didn’t seem to important on my European vacation but is suddenly becoming itchy. I would never shave a damn thing in prison. I’d probably trade commissary for leg hair braiding replete with beads and declare myself podboss. I have the girth for it,and I’m a bitch.I’m just saying.
With Robert being another little bitch who tapped out, I think we are down to jus Zac and Isaiah for the guys. And if they want to keep Isaiah they need to move his ass back to C-Pod. They should never have moved him to D-Pod to start with.
Isaiah admits he smoked the crack stick. Which is a segregation offense. Oh Isaiah. You grandmamma is going to be so disappointed by your peer pressure. That said. It is not crack or even an illegal substance so hopefully they decide to roll him back to C-Pod. Conveniently, we are told that the Sheriff doesn’t know he has smoked a “crack stick.” Yet, he is concerned about Isaiah’s sheeplike following of a really bad crowd in D-Pod.
Meanwhile, one of Zac’s roommates, Earp,has made some jail house hooch in his room. Zac could totally go down for this, or they could send him to C-Pod. Apparently, Earp has made moonshine before, it included his own piss. Yummers!
The guards come in to do a blanket check. Because that is a good use of time. God forbid there be an extra blanket or two in there. On the other hand, I get it. Everything is money in jail and if you have a spare blanket, you can use it as leverage. Everyone is sent to their cell. Zac tells Earp to dump the hooch.
Isaiah’s mom is visiting him. She is not the mother of his brother who has been doing a long stint in jail. She was 13 when she had him and they “grew up together.” She is hoping he is scared straight by the experience. I never noticed Isaiah had so many tattoos. I view lots of tattoos as a sign of hiding the crazy/hurt/pain #SorryNotSorry His mom has a few of her own. Isaiah is pumping up his time and acting like he is all big and bad to his mother. She reminds him that she has taught him better than that. It’s a weird feeling I have that his mama is trying to look good for the camera and telling him not to embarrass her. And him getting that he should not fuck up. It’s a check. dude, earn it and don’t get extra time little boy. This is a learning experience, it’s not that much longer. His mom is cute. And worried. She is glad and hopes he get it. Isaiah is resolved to do his best.
Meanwhile, the blanket check continues. Amazingly, Earp takes the rap for his hooch and his three cellmates are cleared.
Isaiah “miraculously” SIGH approaches Zac after his visit with his mother. Zac tries to set him on the right track. Okay. Now I feel like we are being led down the garden path. Let’s hope it is just editing and they have talked before.
Isaiah’s Mom’s Debriefing
His mom thinks this is a great learning experience.
Robert’s hospitalization found NOTHING wrong with him. He’s just a pussy. And a quitter. He’s suddenly just fine to workout and go about his life. I wonder if they make it past the halfway point if the get their full pay. Because he seems quite please with himself.
It’s abundantly clear to us, the producers and the sheriff that he was terrified of going back into the general population. I am sure the producers tried to explain he could go back to C-Pod which was not nearly as bad, but he didn’t.
The sheriff reads a letter where Robert asks to stay in isolation while he was IN isolation indicating he did not want to go back to gen pop during his stay.
Robert returns all jokey and laughing. Robert says it was so much fun to be in jail. He has no complaints. He said he had an easy time in there. He says he is enjoying his pain meds for his undiagnosed condition. Which apparently is NOT constipation. Robert is a cunt satchel. Everyone knows that Robert is a piece of shit.
Oddly, I think all of the women are still there, Tami, Barbra and Maryum. Barbra who began this journey with a very negative attitude about criminal in the jail wasting taxpayer money has become quite the little thugette in jail. She is as dumb as Isaiah and he is 18. The sheriff calls her “the pod mascot” BWAHAHAHAHHAH. In her interviews she talks about how well she is fitting and how she never expected to make so many friends in jail. Wow. She’s pathetic.
They bring in a new inmate. Jessica. She is pregnant and needs a bottom bunk in Barbra’s cell. Barbra immediately befriends her. Jessica says she has mental issues and is having a “false miscarriage.” Jessica already has six kids. If she doesn’t have mental issues, then she is high. Even Barbra asks if she is on drugs. All the other inmates see her as a threat. Not dumbass Jessica. She is Florence Fucking Nightingale because this is just a two month sleep over away from her responsibilities to her. Barb literally says in her talking heads, ” I am an inmate know and I know how everything works.”
The inmates don’t think Jessica is really pregnant. They think she is trying to get special privileges. Like getting two trays of food. Which she gets. Another inmate says that she can’t have two until she has a pregnancy test. Some jawboning ensues that I didn’t follow and I can’t really tell who is who but drama is about to follow. Will dumbass Barbara take a stand now when she cowered when Tami needed her?
Maryum makes a comment that Jessica is on “the small yellow bus.” Well Barbra who already hates Mayum (because, racist). And Barbra drags Tami and everyone she can into it. Tami jumps on board and Maryum is the only black girl in there. Oh God, Tami. don’t pick her as your fight. Maryum is trying to console Jessica. Tami is about to go off. Maryum tries to be nice to Jessica. Tami comes out ready to fight and says “You are going to say that after what you said about her?” To be real, all Maryum meant was lay off her, she is not all there. She is a social worker and realizes there is an issue. But Tami is a hot head. Maryum tries to explain that Jessica is not right. What language is she supposed to use in fucking jail? She was trying to alert them that she is not right. Tami is being a fucking bully. Then Maryum has to appease Tami and explain that she butts in when in it not necessary and causes arguments. Barbra and Tami are cunts.
Next Week: Tami out herself as mole! And in D-Pod, a guard gets jumped and Zac is unable to help. Barbra is also ready to tap. And Isaiah witnesses “jail sex.” Two people tap out and Tami is going batshit!