Shahs of Sunset Recap: Oy Vey MJ!

Shahs cast season 5

Tonight’s disclaimer about why this recap will suck is sponsored by well brand tequila. It is also my excuse for more typos than usual and my late start.  I was gardening today and craved a margarita. I am NOT allowed to drink tequila it usually makes me cry.  Tonight I had TWO margaritas. Now two drinks don’t phase me at all but two TEQUILA drinks make me all fuzzy headed and my shoulder blades hurt. I went to get dinner which I am no longer interested in and it’s in the fridge for tomorrow. I had a great time reading my book at the bar for the first one, but two was one too many.

So apologies for my lateness. And let’s do this. I admit part of my unusual desire for hard liquor was having to recap this crapfest tonight. I have no idea what is real anymore on this show.

Mike

UGH.

Mike and Reza go to a cigar bar.  I hate Reza even more because Xanadude hates him. It make me feel better about being disgusted by him.  I respect Xanadude’s opinion. Even his polar opposite political ones. You can learn a lot from X. I’m just saying. (I warned you about the tequila).

I also make fun of Californians a lot. I am going to play the some of my favorite people are Californians. Including one cranky guy from San Francisco who is currently probably mad at me.  But I have to mock them here once again because I just don’t get why they wear winter ski caps in LA.  I get the whole bad hair day possibility but there have to be other hat options than winter wear.  Anyway, this scene is about Mike crawling back to Reza. Whatever. I should point out that it hurts my heart a bit not to like Reza anymore. We had some great conversations online before season one aired.

Shahs MJ GG

Golnesa

I don’t really understand rheumatoid arthritis. I like to be the expert of all things, but this I do not know much about. My mother had arthritis but not that kind.  In my family, arthritis is just something we have. It doesn’t require chemo. I get this kind is different but I don’t really get it. Plus, it’s Golnesa and she love hyperbole almost as much as I do.  She has had to have surgery and that sounds awful.  Shervin goes with him. I wish Shervin would go with me to doctor’s appointments. Because, HOT!

She got some stiches removed from her hand. She is a huge drama queen. Please don’t let this be a Yolanda type thing. Is Shervin straight?

Mercedeh

Yes that is actually her real name. She is not named for a car by anyone other than production. MJ wants to get pregnant. I am really trying to like Tommy because I love Mercedeh and just because he is not my type, doesn’t mean he isn’t hers. But still…

I am also saddened that MJ has the world’s worst GBF in Reza. On the other hand they are kind of perfectly matched. But Reza is such scum. Plus MJ and Reza allegedly had sex in high school. You should never have sex with your GBF.  You should flirt. You should get drunk and inappropriate, but you should never have sex with you GBF.  Lessor GFs sure but not your GBF.  There was some shit with whipped cream I did not watch.

Mercedeh meets up with Golnesa later  and she wants to confront her about her drinking. We have been down this road a thousand times before. There is no point to this conversation. GG doesn’t approve of Tommy. Despite there being no alcohol at this place, GG goes off on MJ.

Mercedeh takes Tommy to get his sperm tested.

ShahsAsaS2

Asa

Asa is the only reason to watch this show. Asa and her mother.  Sure she fronts just like the rest of them, but overall she has much better living arrangements and jewelry than all the rest combined. And on a show about Iranian excess in LA, she wins all day long. Her mother is perfection. Asa is planning her attire for the upcoming wedding of Reza and Adam which she will officiate.  “Girl, I can’t do silver!” is the best quote ever as she picks out religious crap for her gold turban she plans to wear. I WANT TO GO TO THIS STORE. Asa is DROP DEAD GORGEOUS! I do think she might have jacked up her butt some. I know you guys say she always had a big one, and she did, but …

Reza

Reza takes Adam to see his dream house. It’s AWFUL..  Surely he is kidding. He wants a house with no wood. Reza has to be full of shit on this. This has to be a fake scene. I really wish Adam would leave this prick even if everything is fake. He is way to into money and ugliness. I also do not need to see Reza in his underpants.

Mike and Jessica’s Shabbat

Jessica invites everyone over for Shabbat.  I really wish I had some real life Jewish friends. I am so intrigued by the religion. Alas,  not many Jewish people live in Georgia. If they come this far south they are headed to Miami. My loss.  Jessica is trying to cook an Iranian dinner. She should have asked Asa to help her, except…everyone hates Jessica.  I actually feel sorry for Jessica. She did SO MUCH for Mike and he fucked around on her repeatedly.

I love that Jessica allegedly made all of this stuff. I really believe she did. Asa gives her compliments and that is all I need to hear.  I wish, as a southern that there would have been a bar to hide all the soft drinks and liquors and perhaps a bartender. But that’s just me.

I ADORE Asa, like in a Lisa Vanderpump fan trolly like way. Like if I had no life I would be on Twitter ranting about anyone who had a bad thing to say about Asa sort of way. Like she is fucking everything.

Everyone is ganging up on GG. Reza wants everyone to make allowances for her.  Why are Bobby and Asifa still here? They are nothing.

GODDAMN Asa is two wrists deep with the 22K bangles. I bow to the mistress with my paltry collection.

Reza is pissed at MJ because she points out the obvious that Adam’s voice is NEVER HEARD. Instead of listening to reason, Reza is angry with MJ. He then drives a wedge between Adam and MJ. This is all bullshit.  Adam knows he is getting married to Reza in a “surprise” wedding.

Mike’s spirituality is offense. But I ADORE the Jews and the Muslims coming together.

Next Week: GG drives an RV drunk and everyone confronts GG about her drinking on a camping trip.

58 Comments

Filed under Asa Soltan Rahmati, Entertainment News, Golnesa Gharachedaghi, Mike Shouhed, Reza Farahan, Shahs of Sunset

58 responses to “Shahs of Sunset Recap: Oy Vey MJ!

  1. Xanadude

    So, we need to add another pitstop (after International House of Leggings) on our Shas Hate Tour ?
    And thank you for the compliment. Im feeling the love. And the tequila. Now I want tequila.
    Someone needs to do an Asa bracelet count each week and take a shot for each.

    • tamaratattles

      I collect gold bangles and have confronted Asa in a “my bangles are better than yours” way before. After I typed that she was two fisting, I realized I was wrong and the right arm was a cuff.

      I’m not dead yet and think I can beat her. I may was out my Ziploc baggies and feel decadent about buying “the good tomato cages” but I do not spare expense on my gold bangles. AS GOD IS MY WITNESS I WILL BEAT ASA AT THIS GAME! lol. Hers are clearly 22 carat and only a few of mine are though.

      And…..I am not trying to freak you out about my love for you. But really. I am sure everyone feels the love for X whether on Tequila or not. xoxoox

      • Billie_bee

        I bought my oldest daughter her first set of gold bangles when we were in Lebanon last summer (she’s not having mine – the baby weight went to my ass and thankfully not to my wrists). Anyway, she refuses to wear them longer than a couple of hours. It’s breaking my heart. I traded in a lot of my wedding jewelry because I was over yellow gold, now I’m kicking myself. Luckily, my mom hid a few pieces away for me.

  2. Betty

    Shervin seems like a nice guy and seems like he has lots of cars and money. Yay! Why doesn’t Tamara like Reza? He’s so funny. FYI, don’t drink well brand tequila. Ew

  3. R- acist
    E-gomaniac
    Z-ika virus carrier
    A-sshole

  4. California skull/ski caps are seen in every area. They are cool, fashionable, can mark affiliations and even on a sunny day there is wind.

    I don’t like MJ much either. What happened to GG, I thought she had her temper and drinking (mostly) under control? She will be entertaining.
    She hasn’t threatened anyone with a knife in a few years.

    • CaliSteve

      It’s Mainly a Southern California thing

      • FrostyTheOG

        Thank You! So is the other ridiculous look of “Uggs and Cut-Offs!” Horrible and stinky looking! For sure a SoCal thing… Another reason I love being #FarNorCal

    • Those Santa Ana winds area bitch. Hey TT, is there a difference between Iranian and Persian? Its funny to hear them call themselves Persians, here in LA we just say Iranians.

    • Those Santa Ana winds are a bitch. Hey TT, is there a difference between Persians and Iranians? Its kinda funny to hear themselves call themselves Persians, here in LA we and they just say Iranians.

  5. There is quite a sizable number of Jews in Atlanta compared to the rest of the South. Granted, our numbers to not come close to Baptists, Methodists, etc., but not as glum as where I live now. Poor Jessica. Converting is a lot of work. Hopefully, she will one day find a truly NJB.

  6. I suffer from a rheumatoid condition and let me tell you guys it is the most painful feeling. The joints get inflamed & swollen, and when I get a flare up it feels like hot needles are being hammered into my foot or hand. It is the worst but it doesn’t turn me into an angry sociopath. I just take it like a man with lots of crying & whining like a baby…

    GG shouldn’t even be drinking alcohol if she is on medication. Rheumatoid medications are very harsh & taxing on the liver.

    • So sorry for your condition. Have you tried smoking marijuana for the pain? Is that something that would work for you? GG lives in LA, she should get a marijuana card, those pain pills are addictive and will ruin your liver.

      • Al

        I can tell you weed doesn’t work, the pain is way to Intense I use it all day long, an anti inflammatory drug that would work would be 100 times better.

    • Danielle

      I have RA too, and it is horrible but not everyday. GG is over dramatizing it( another Yolanda). What I don’t understand is how much she drinks with RA meds. Does she not realize she could go into liver failure. I might have 1 or 2 drinks in a week and I shouldn’t even do that( per my doc). Her physician if he or she is watching, must cringe. I love Asa’s mother, she is hilarious. Jessica just wanted to try out a new culture and be a wife, she had no real interest in Judaism. I am Jewish and I wouldn’t ask someone else to go through all the hoopla. It is a lot!!! She just seems like she will go from man to man, culture to culture, coloring her hair along the way to fit in. She knew exactly what she was marrying. His parents must be so horrified. He is just gross. I too loved Reza(season 1) but he is just dispicable now. MJ’s guy is so not for her. For once I agree with Vida

      • Al

        I’ve been living with RA for a while, every day it never stops hurting although I can only talk for myself.

      • FrostyTheOG

        I’m in shock at how many of us here at TT’s all have RA. Fully aware there is many who battle all kinds of chronic illnesses, Cancer, etc… just in shock about the RA. Always. ALWAYS tripped out at how much she can drink with treatment. Scares the crap out of me.

    • FrostyTheOG

      Another Warrior. I suffer from RA also and I can’t imagine drinking while being on chemo and Biologics! Bye Bye liver. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy as it is an autoimmune disease w/o a cure….

  7. Thanks, TT.
    Rheumatoid arthritis is bad like lupus is bad. Systemic autoimmune disorder. I am not sure there is a cure except for steroids or other anti-inflammatory drugs. I doubt being a lush is going to help keep her stable.
    I understand and share the extreme girl crush on Asa. Please Bravo, you can find redemption if you give Asa her own show.
    I hate it when idiots where ski caps in hot weather. They do that on Vanderpump Rules too. I keep imagining how sweaty and icky their hair is–yuck.

    • My Mom suffered from rheumatoid arthritis, she truly suffered. After GG said she had RA and she showed her hand, I saw it.
      Urethane F. is correct about GG’s drinking. Mom had some success with diet changed and exercise. She lived on ibuprofen some days.

  8. Sam

    My mother in law also hates wood. When they redid their house, which is a 70s contemporary (built completely of Cedar, so how does that make any sense) she wanted no wood at all, even for trim, cabinets, railings, etc. My father in law wasn’t having it so they compromised and got some ultra expensive wood floors that have no visible grain. I had never considered not wanting any wood in a house because I’m more traditional, but I guess she loves the ultra modern decor that’s more glass, iron, lucite, etc. I suppose Reza must, too.

  9. I will never understand the choice to put a knit cap on during non-winter days; also it gives every guy that wears one a silhouette of an uncircumcised penis. So I guess knit caps during non-winter days is for #dickheads.

    • I like them on “some” younger men. They are used to cover bald spots by a lot of men which I find a give away to the baldness.
      I’m shocked when ever there is hair under them.
      I wear one hiking because the wind really hurts my ears but I don’t have a penis.

    • DJFL

      @Urethra Franklin – I wish there was a Like button for comments.

  10. Aerin

    Adam’s comment about the gravel was amazing. The gravel was, in fact, the best thing about that house/ prison.
    Also, as an aside: Anti-inflammatory diets are very good for people with RA, and avoiding dairy. There’s a lot of research on it.

  11. Alyssa

    What is up with MJs terrible wigs this season?

    • Allison

      I was wondering that myself-the whipped cream scene-what WAS that on her head? I thought that she had pretty great hair, the wigs are just….ugh.

  12. I am finding it really hard to watch GG. I am the same age as her and was recently diagnosed with MS. Before I knew what it was I was self medicating the pain and depression (which is somewhat congenital with MS) with alcohol – and seeing her spiral is hitting very close to home. Having your body fail you at such a young age makes you so despondent and the thought of it progressing can make it hard to get out of bed – but drinking and taking Xanax just makes everything 1000x worse. I think I will be fast-forwarding GG until she gets proper help. Being an addict and having chronic pain is a slippery slope.

    Sorry for the long rant.

    • koko

      I couldn’t agree more. If this story line is true, it’s not going to end well.

    • Suzanne D

      I’m so sorry you were straddle with a chronic illness! It can be very hard to accept and deal with. In GG’s case, she’s had long standing mental illness and anger issues since childhood. One of the incidents eluded to was threatening her sister with a knife. She can’t even deal with normal stressors in life, let alone being diagnosed with a rehabilitating illness. I don’t have RA, but as an RN, I am familiar with the symptoms, etiology, and treatments for it. Not that she couldn’t have need surgery for her knuckle joints, but that’s not a common surgery for RA patients. I’d be willing to bet that GG hit something/someone and needed surgical repair due to blunt trauma. The RA could have added to the injury.

      I can’t say that I dislike GG. There is something very sad about her. I know she’s obnoxious, spoiled, jealous, selfish, and has anger problems, but I see a lost soul that really needs help and tough love. I hope she gets it before something really tragic happens.

  13. koko

    And somewhere Golnesa is shitfaced…I do believe that Mike has passed the baton.

  14. Normalg

    I agree, Asa always had curves but it does seem that they have been accentuated. Perhaps she had some
    lipo around her waist and made her butt look
    Even bigger. Her body looks better than it ever has. Jessica is still annoying and classless. Reza is a douche and I really don’t understand why Adam is still with him. You echoed my thoughts about Reza in underwear, ugh nauseating

    • I think Asa has also done something different with her boobies. I would love to have her body, it is breathtaking.

    • Latina2014

      Those r my exact thoughts! Liposculpture around waist, stomach and lower back, that wld make her butt look bigger. She looks great n dresses well enhancing her curves :)
      She’s the best!

  15. Sequoia

    I could never stay mad at you and I hate reza too. xoxo

  16. They way Mike and Jessica celebrate Shabbat is not the traditional way. I’ve been to a few Orthodox Shabbats. There are maybe 400 rules about it. Some of the more notable ones are that you cannot carry money or rip paper. The use of electricity is the big killer, although I don’t know how that impacts phones as they are always on. If Shabbat was done the way Mike and Jessica do it, I think a lot more Jews would actually keep it.

    • Nila

      Hasidic Jews cannot even open a bottle or light a candle, you can’t do anything which may require sweat which to them equals work. I was a nanny for a Hasidic family and they used tissues for toilet paper during this time because you cannot rip anything. You cannot cook or turn anything on or off or drive or anything once the sun goes down. Typically they turn the oven to the lowest degree to keep food warm but not hot enough to cook the food and it must remain on until sundown the next day.

    • Meri

      I am a Reform Jew and we did Shabbat in a similar fashion (very modern and nontraditional. I only know the prayer over the candles but it can be a sweet ceremony. Mike goes way over the top with Shabbat as he does with everything else and Jessica, being a convert goes all out too. I find that converts are much more religious than I am (even though I was born a Jew) and have even had a convert tell me that I am not really Jewish!! I don’t hate Reza but I did hate that ugly house. It was hideous. Adam has something up his sleeve but I’m not sure what. Maybe he just wants to get even with Reza for dumping their first wedding. Asa is ok but I do not feel the same way about her as some of you do. I find her way too over the top and bangles make too much noise and annoy me. I wish that I owned the gold though!! MJ is a mess and I’m not sure what her M.O. is toward Reza and the others. It seems to be love/hate at times. GG…hopeless and sad. She will OD if her behavior continues. I agree about her using Pot for her pain. It is far less damaging and may help her. R.A. is a horrid disease and I feel badly for her. She IS suffering. I still love the show even though it seems so scripted. Mike is totally gross and he should marry Reza..how perfect would that be? Two slobs who can’t keep it in their pants and are as fake as hell. PERFECT pair.

  17. Kathy Deutsch

    I had great success with autoimmune issues by going on a heavy probiotic diet. Meaning yogurt, kefir, cultured cottage cheese and cheeses, home fermented veg, etc. I thought I was allergic to everything, come to find out it is my gut that needed more variety of bacteria. I eat or drink 3 to 5 probiotic foods a day and feel amazing. This diet completely dissolved all my anxiety and anger issues. (there is a brain/gut connection, google it). Every time I see Golnesa I want to take her home and feed her healthy foods.

  18. Kathy Deutsch

    My autoimmune issues and anxiety/anger were all due to bad gut. I went on a heavy probiotic food lifestyle (which does include some wine and beer) and seriously, they vanished. I am 56 and feel like I am 20. I watch Golnesa and I want to take her home and feed her good healthy foods. The RA thing is a frustrating condition and relief is hard to find.

  19. More Tea Please!

    I still enjoy the Shahs but definitely see the show falling into the typical Bravo Overscripted track.

    I do worry about GG, the alcohol and depression issues do not seem scripted at all. A friend of mine who had rheumatoid arthritis asked her doctor about having an occasional glass of wine. His answer was “it’s your choice, but remember, you only have one liver!”

    I hope MJs current boyfriend is for real, I like his goofy, feet-firmly-planted on the ground attititude and humor.

  20. Tally

    I LOVE Asa too, she’s the only one who’s been consistent on the show from the beginning. As for Jessica I wonder how badly she regrets converting for Mike? I thought she was nuts to do so before the engagement let alone at all. But that’s just me. I always loved Mike, until I saw a different side to him last reunion. He was very controlling & manipulative and almost desperate for her to not walk in the reunion. It made me wonder what life was like for them behind closed doors if he was so boldly like THAT in the open. I liked Reza in the 1st season until he showed his true colors. He’s a snake. He screws Adam over with not marrying him, then goes to said location of that wedding to fake pitty celebrate. Who does that? Then he expects Adam to be all gung-ho with a concrete prison home? GTFOH Reza! He needs to check himself.

  21. SweetRosie

    Hi TT..
    Just some info on Rhematoid Arthritis..
    I’ve had it for 15 years, but they couldn’t diagnose it until last year (they gave it the old Fibro Myalgia name when they couldn’t figure it out).
    It started in my early 40s with pain that would move all around..legs, shoulders etc, plus random inflammation. The funny thing is, the pain was not really joint related.
    In the last couple of years it became nastier, and zeroed in on many joint areas..rotator/shoulder, wrists, fingers.. All of them starting with pain, then swelling so bad that I couldn’t raise my arms, use my wrists or any of my fingers. It stayed that way for months. There was a hard mound of swelling on my wrist and hands, and the inside of my fingers looked like there were marbles inserted into all of them. Once the swelling starts, the pain stops and everything goes numb. I couldn’t feed myself, comb my hair etc., finally they got a real and proper diagnosis..RA.
    It took several more months on steroids to get the swelling down, where I could function.
    If a put pressure on my arms, wrists or hands it will start up again, until I “up” the steroid dosage. We are trying several drugs now, to get me off the steroids and help the swelling from happening in the first place, (Humira shots, methotrexate) which are no picnic themselves..loads of side effects, but it takes months to know if they are working, and if not, I have to start over with new ones.

  22. Cat

    I like tequila. And margaritas. And Xanadude. And TT. And cats. And chocolate. And most of the people here.

    Reza? No. He is creepy and disgusting. I never liked him.

  23. bluesuedeshoe

    Honestly love this series because I get to see a new culture. Agree that Asa and her Mom rule that bunch….

  24. Cheychey

    My mother in law has been fighting severe R.A. For years. Not only is the alcohol damaging to her liver but a complete Nono with the pain medication you take as well. I found it weird as much pain in your joints as it causes that in a scene for next weeks show GG is stabbing a big knife in a tree. That would be very painful for someone with advanced stages in their hands.
    The ugly house Reza liked really reminds me of Moore Manor. A big cement office building or garage like building. Just neither look like a home to me. But I guess that’s what some would call modern architecture.

  25. If GG has been correctly diagnosed with R.A., this could explain her anger. She is always angry. RA is a deforming arthritis. The one where peoples’ hands can become twisted, not to mention the pain. That’s something to be angry about, especially when you’re so young and have this to face has it worsens in the future. Most people get a little osteo arthritis when they’re older, like past 50 or 60, but RA ain’t no joke from what I’ve seen.

  26. Xanadude

    Is Rheumatoid Arthritis the New Lyme?

  27. Katherine 2.0

    I know that RA is a painful and incurable condition, but GG is exacerbating it with her rage and addictions. She needs all kinds of therapy and attention. I get that. But why does it have to play out on what is supposed to be a fun romp with some quirky, entitled people? Enough, already.

  28. Mike truly should revisit spirituality. He really is a horrible man, really. He is not honest, narcissistic to think he gave Jessica 5 years of the best time she ever had, only talks about how much money he is going to have, a drunk, and to top it off, he is a sex addict-thats Mike

  29. Booskie

    If GG has RA, I truly feel for her and it actually explains some of her anger and craziness to me.
    It would be a tough diagnosis to wrap your head around at her age. I hope she comes to grips with it and takes better care of herself soon. The drinking and the type of meds one usually takes for RA can’t be a good combo. :(

  30. Suzanne D

    How can anyone not like Asa? I sort of compare her to Sonja Morgan. Asa’s a little delusional like Sonja. Has a new business every time we turn around. But also like Sonja, Asa isn’t a mean or vindictive person. Sonja and Asa are both a live and let live type of people. They are both a little full of themselves. Both are over the top. And both ladies just want every one to have a good time.

  31. Allison

    I need to re-watch last season, I missed too many episodes. I think I might dislike Mike more than Reza-Jessica really gave a lot to that relationship. Converting, tolerating his BS and GG, at least she got her dream wedding. Just not the dream marriage. I love Asa too-she is….she just IS. I am sort of fascinated with Jessica, all the awful work she’s had on her face, she was cute before that-is she still a nurse?

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