The Mother Daughter Experiment Got Even Worse This Week

Mother Daughter Kim Richards

 

I believe that I have adequately expressed each week what a huge trainwreck this show is.  It’s so bad I’ve wondered if they would even air all eight shows. It’s basically just pairs of mothers and daughters where pretty much one of each pair gets drunk (or secretly high) and brawls all night long after a fake therapy session. I have become accustomed to this pattern only being interrupted by the fake crying sounds of Courtney Stodden. If this was an actual therapeutic environment, someone would have taken the alcohol away from Heidi and Natalie long ago.  Someone would have stopped Natalie from sending the sane young woman in the house into a full blown panic attack.

But it is not a therapeutic environment. It’s a modern day side show of freaks and geeks thrown together to maximize and glorify disgusting behavior.  This week, the much anticipated reuniting of Dourtney happens.  You may remember this delightful May December marriage from Couples Therapy when they were vilified and ganged up on by everyone else in the house. At that time, Courtney was underage and could not stay in the house do to child filming laws in California. She was also fresh off of cheating on Doug on live feeds of Big Brother UK. Other than the season with Taylor Armstrong and the pea green towel meltdown, it was the best season ever. Couples Therapy does trainwreck much better than this show.

Kim and Cassie react to Dourtney

Kim and Cassie react to Doug’s introduction to the group

We start with Kim and Kimberly trying to help Cassie breathe through a full blown panic attack. For unknown reasons Cassie’s mother Char has gone to bed, leaving Kim to be the mother in the situation. Kim is actually very good in the role of caretaker, she has pretty much been one since she was five. Kimberly stupidly went back into the kitchen were drunk Natalie and drunk Heidi were draining the liquor cabinet and tried to explain to Natalie some of the consequences of her crazy rantings against Kimberly and Cassie.

The next morning,  Shar finds out about Cassie’s panic attack. Cassie is still having a lot of anxiety. There is no group therapy this week. There will be some individual and some couples therapy.

But first the pseudotherapist wants to know what happened last night. She asks Natalie who immediately goes into cry and deflect mode. Kim tells Natalie she was bullying. And for once the word was used correctly. Oddly Kimberly has found her voice and tells her mother she can speak for herself. Well, let’s hear it girl! Kimberly tells her mother than when she got into it with Natalie last night it just made things worse. I have to side with Kim on this one. If I saw my kid and another kid getting chased down the hallway by a drunk raving lunatic, I’d aggressively intervene as well.  Heidi of course defends her drinking partner.

Natalie’s mother (Karen) says right before the fight, she and Kim were having a lovely chat about how Kim was almost chocked on set and how two people have tried to kill her. That’s a lovely chat?  Natalie’s mom is going to defend her kid and says if she had been in the hallway she and Kim would have been fighting. But Natalie’s mom was not in the  hallway because she didn’t want to deal with her drunk daughter so she went to bed. Karen says Kim started it. She did not. Kim was damn well ready to finish it though. Kimberly, who has suddenly developed a backbone, shushs her mother which causes Kim to tell her to “stop!”  Kim shoots back that  Kimberly should not to tell her what to do because now she is defending herself. Cassie is very sweet and says she appreciates Kim stepping in and she forgives Natalie. The therapist congratulates Natalie for seeing she could have handled things differently. There was no mention of Natalie and Heidi getting blind drunk.  Natalie apologizes to Kimberly. Natalie laughs and says Kim and Kimberly are “the hoodest ones in here.”

 

Karen and Heidi react to Doug's story

Karen and Heidi react to Doug’s story

Courtney and her mother, Krista have a one on one where Krista is told Doug is on the way. Doug arrives while Courtney and Krista are in the room with the “therapist.”  There other inmates in the asylum are left to entertain their new visitor. Kim asks Doug to tell them how he met Courtney.  Doug says he picked his underage target off the Internet and after two months she had full taken the bait. Doug claims he didn’t know she was 16 and when he found out he asked Krista if he could marry her and Krista said he was a good person so, hey! why the fuck not? Where do I sign?

Here is the best part of the story. Doug says “I mean, Courtney was being courted by tons of men, closer to her age, wealthier than me, more famous, from sports figures, to politicians, to sheiks in the Middle East. So that’s basically how it started. Yeah.”

Natalie in a talking head says, “Sheiks? Where the hell are sheiks finding a sixteen year old?”

After Doug goes to extraordinary lengths to make sure his purse dog, Cupcake, has a wee wee pad, food, water, her favorite blanket and has he pearl necklace on straight he heads off to therapy. You can tell Doug is the kind of guy who makes sure a pearl necklace is just ever so.

Courtney has never been one to actually kiss Doug on these shows. He makes an attempt and is dodged. She does kiss him on the way out. Courtney will now sit down to discuss her great love affair. Doug says that two weeks after his marriage to Courtney, Krista told him she was in love with him.  Krista’s version is that she agreed to live next door to them so that Courtney could not leave Doug because she would have nowhere to go except next door. What ensued was an argument between a narcissist and a sociopathic pedophile. I’ll just say the sociopathic pedophile is the much better liar.

I don’t understand all the daughters lying around in the hallway having conversations. It happens every episode. It’s a huge house with nice, comfy looking furniture. Yet they lay on the marble floors next to the dog food bowl to chat.

I just forwarded through all of the Heidi therapy with her mother. They have no storyline other than Heidi’s drinking and that is not being discussed. Why are they even there? Oh yeah, free liquor and a paycheck.

It’s time for tequila shots and the hot tub. The drinkers are all drunk. Josie who is underage has gone into the bathroom in Natalie’s room where Heidi, Josie and Natalie are “taking a bath all together” otherwise known as doing shots. We can hear Heidi puking.  Karen is pissed because she wants to wash her face and go to bed. Josie gets the hell out of dodge but Heidi refuses to get out of the tub.  Natalie and Karen look like they are about to come to blows…

And scene…

Next Week: Kim Richards is unable to walk a straight line at group and has to be removed by ambulance from the show. Hmmm what could that possibly be? SIGH.

21 Comments

Filed under Dumbasses, Entertainment News, Kim Richards, News, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH

21 responses to “The Mother Daughter Experiment Got Even Worse This Week

  1. This is a shite show. I can’t believe they are allowed to have alcohol! How is that therapy? I am personally obsessed with Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn. I can’t get enough of “Sister Patterson” and Tiffany, but no alcohol is permitted in the house. TT, I know how busy your are but I hope you can catch a few episodes just for your own comedic entertainment, not to blog.

  2. If you know you’re going to be filmed for 8 weeks, why not get your roots touched up first? Every time Karen turns her back to the camera all I can see is that yarmulke sized patch of gray hair. Perhaps that is the source of Natalie’s rage…

    • Sliceo'pie

      Lol! I keep wondering the same thing! Jeez, when we go away for the summer, I have my stylist give me my color, toner and I bring it to a salon for them to put on. This is TV! (Although we maybe the only one’s watching)

  3. tamaratattles

    Well gee, I guess Karen who has been caretaking her dying mother up until just before filming started didn’t feel like doing so after the funeral and before the filming to pay for the funeral. Please allow me to apologize on Karen’s behalf for the resulting suffering you had to endure.

    And the filming is over two weeks and they are not allowed to change their hair in the house because they edit shit out of context.

    • I totally forgot about the timing of her mother’s death – you’re right. Mea culpa.

      • tamaratattles

        No biggie. I just like Karen a lot.:) I admit I noticed the hair too, but as someone without all the valid reasons Karen has, I can say at a certain age we just don’t give a fuck. :)

        I did get my hair done for the first time in at least a year recently though! :) It looks fabulous. So now I sit on a couch looking a bit better than I did sitting on the couch before. LOL.

      • Mark

        I have heard about this hair a few times now… i really want to see it! No fair, TT. Go public… be a celebrity!!!

        Haha, I know it will never happen, but one can dream… 😉

  4. Xanadude

    1) I love how everyone said without actually saying it that Krista basically sold her daughter to the highest bidder.
    2) I still, in the back of my mind, hold onto the theory that Courtney is much much older than she presents as. She has the face of a much older woman.
    3) Natalie is old enough to hang with the moms, instead she? Technically I think she’s corrupting a minor if we was serving anyone underage alcohol, right?
    4) Doug real has that whole Jon Mark Karr vibe about him.
    5) TT, you know as well as I tha nothing feels better on flushdrunk skin than the cool linoleum of the kitchen or bathroom floor.
    6) Ambulances as called for Kim, but not poor Cassie? BTW Cassie is amazing and I want to hug her.

    • tamaratattles

      I dunno why you were in moderation, WP is a crazy bitch lately. I’ve not much knowledge of a linoleum floor except for my ghetto kitchen on which I have never lain. Our villa in Libya did have marble floors throughout so I do remember playing on them on a hot summer day. I can’t say drunk or sober that I’ve ever opted to sit on the floor in a house with other such cushy options. It boggles my mind. I currently actively avoid my dog hair covered hardwoods. :)

      You don’t need an ambulance for a panic attack. Though I went to ER a couple of times when I first started having them at work. I thought I was having a heart attack. I have a family history of heart disease so it is really hard in a panic attack not to think, “What if this really is a heart attack?” I also recognize Cassie’s embarrassment while having one and apologizing a lot. Even small ones in the grocery store cause me to apologize a lot as if I am doing something wrong.

      • Xanadude

        When you have drank so much that you need to be within crawling distance of a trash can or a toilet and have the alcohol heat flush, cold linoleum is a thing of beauty. Also easy to clean afterward.

      • tamaratattles

        Who knew? I can’t really fathom a linoleum floor in a bathroom. I don’t think I have ever experienced that. Aren’t they tile or marble everywhere? Even in the ghetto we don’t have such a thing.

      • tamaratattles

        This conversation reminds me of my narcissistic sister who came in and claimed the family home when my father was dying. She then had stage four cancer and took out half a million in life insurance for her son, whose only other job was working at McDonalds (he loved it and did it for ages) and having the church improve the house including putting down a new floor in the kitchen and living room which was linoleum. He now travels the world, and plays card games and has a house that was full of family heirlooms my brother (the executor) could not bear to inventory in the estate. SIGH. I really hate linoleum floors for that reason alone.

      • Mark

        Drunk and vomity on a slate floor is amazing. The amount of times my parents found my drunk ass on the bathroom floor as a child…

      • Katherine 2.0

        TT, watch out. The Linoleum Workers United are offended at your blatant and public disregard for linoleum, and are starting a boycott of your site.

      • tamaratattles

        LOL @ Katherine. They are going to be at the back of a very, very long line. :)

  5. JustJenn

    Heidi and Natale are both too old for their constant drunken antics.. do either of them have jobs in real life?

    Kim was very motherly to Cassie and it was nice to see that side of her for a minute.

    Doug and his ladies are all very creepy. It’s hard to establish who is telling the truth in that whole mess.

  6. I can’t believe Natalie got away with that horrible (yet typically Natalie-esque) temper tantrum because “she’s working on herself.” Ugh. And the Dourtney saga is just too sad to comment on. This show is a total train wreck but can you imagine how much worse it would have been if Teen Mom had allowed Farrah Abraham to participate?

  7. Suziezee

    Dying that you remembered Dourtney!!???

  8. Sony

    I prayed that Kim Richards would get a different show so that I wouldn’t have to watch her antics on the real housewives. So I’m not going to spoil it by watching the show. Reading you post helps me to realize that I was using good judgment, so thanks! :)

  9. michelle

    Did anyone catch Josie telling her mom that Heidi was vomiting while Natalie was feeling her up? Maybe Natalie’s anger stems from hiding her sexuality? I don’t’ know but it was very strange.

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