Real Housewives of New York Recap: The Biggest Boob

RHONY season 8

 

We are back in the middle of Bethenny and Ramona being horrible excuses for human beings by publicly attacking Dorinda for her choice of boyfriend.  Since last week Bethenny has supposedly blocked DORINDA  on Twitter. This is beyond storyline.  Jules is out with Dorinda supporting her while she has a cigarette When Dorinda comes back in Bethenny apologizes and tells Dorinda she went too far. Then she tells Dorinda who she should be madder at. Then Bethenny has to coach Ramona through how to apologize.

While trying on bras Carole calls Jules a toothpick. Carole is way smaller than Jules.

Dorinda is pissed and doesn’t want to stay at Ramona’s in the Hamptons. Dorinda calls John and he answers the phone while she has it on speaker by saying, “How many bitches talked smack about me…”  He sounds trashed and Dorinda is calling him to come pick her up. John bursts into the party and accuses Bethenny of stealing the brand SkinnyCow.  She points out that Nestle bought that brand and it is a different brand that her brand, Skinny Girl.  She then says he’s a cow and she’s a girl. There is a difference there.  John is a gross drunken ass who is very confrontational with Bethenny who starts giving it back to him. Dorinda is terrified and she tells John to get out and she is done with him. Bethenny says, basically, and this is the problem we have with your boyfriend. Dorinda seems to be as drunk as he is. Dorinda says she will never be around him again. Bethenny ends up comforting drunk Dorinda. Dorinda is miserable. That was uncomfortable to watch.

Does the beanie make me look bi?

Does the beanie make me look bi?

Carole

Carole doesn’t want to be around Luann at Bethenny’s party.

Luann

Sonja goes with Luann to look for real estate in the city. She’s looking for a short term lease. It’s a tiny little 3 bedroom 3 bath  for $9K a month. The rooms would barely hold a double bed.  Then she looks at a downtown apartment for $22K a month. I don’t understand why anyone pays this.  It’s just such a ridiculous way to spend money.

Bethenny

It’s time for a Skinny Girl infomercial. Ramona arrives and shares texts from Dorinda where she tells Ramona she has broken her heart. Jules calls and Bethenny clearly doesn’t like her.

Jules

Didn’t I like this woman last week? Didn’t I get irritated with someone for saying they don’t want  to see the kids last week?  Well tonight I find her scenes and her screaming kids quite irritating. I only want to see kids that are cute and well mannered and even then they should just be seen and not heard. Are they taking these kids to The Hamptons?  Apparently, they have a house out in or near the Hamptons that is not complete, but Jules has asked them to come by for breakfast on their way back to the city.

Apparently, John and Dorinda are staying at their house. Dorinda is very upset with Ramona. She feels Ramona betrayed her and hurt her and she is crushed.  Then they mangle some Shakespeare.  Clearly, none of them took Latin.

Dorinda

These two fucknuts are just going to fight all season and talk like they are on The Sopranos aren’t they? John has anger issues. The DVR is paused on his scary face.  Dorinda is back with John like nothing ever happened.

The Dinner

Bethenny, Ramona and Dorinda get together for dinner. Everyone is expecting to be apologized to, no one has any plans to apologize. Somehow, as things do on housewives shows, the topic turns to small penises and what a deep disappointment they are. Dorinda’s agenda is to tell Ramona she is a piece of shit.  This should be fun.

I’m distracted from all of the bitching by Bethenny’s soccer mom hair. I mean it is cute, but it’s not Bethenny. It’s not edgy enough for Bethenny

At some point Dorinda cries and Ramona apologizes. Dorinda says that she loves John. She also says she feels miserable all the time. Dorinda is still hurt by Ramona. Ramona really did try to apologize and did a much better job.

Bethenny has a hot flash and make a comment about her newscaster hair. Her term, not mine.

Next week: The party FINALLY happens and John shows up. Then Bethenny tells Jules husband he is remodeling his house wrong. Because, Bethenny.

 

85 Comments

Filed under Bethenny Frankel, Carole Radziwill, Countess Luann, Dorinda Medley, Entertainment News, Julianne Wainstein, Ramona Singer, Real Housewives of New York, RHONY, Sonja Morgan

85 responses to “Real Housewives of New York Recap: The Biggest Boob

  1. Elizabeth

    Jules-poor thing dumb
    Bethenny- I’m sorry she is hilarious;Snoopy Scarf
    Dorinda- Drunk a lot; always drunk with John
    John- Dorinda is his first GF ever and I feel like has never really been around women… Weirdo
    Ramona- On the spectrum
    Me- Way to many margaritas tonight!
    ❤️ this site!

    • AUDGE

      I agree about Ramona. Just tonight I was thinking “aspergers” because she is often inappropriate with her comments, her timing, she is unable to read people and she is socially awkward. I don’t believe she told Dorinda the John story to be cruel, she’s just clueless.

    • jen

      Hahahhahahahahaha

    • Betty

      Though Bethenny is also dumb. She has probably spent close to a million dollars in legal fees and would rather be witty than happy. She’s been engaged 3 x. Nough said

      • FarFromPerfekt

        Ahem, I was engaged a ‘few’ times myself. Curious, what exactly does that have to do with anything?

      • Miguel

        Yeah, Bethenny is dumb like a fox, Betty!!! Did anyone notice her shade on John and “doing some lines.” I always thought something was up with Dorinda beside the drink (like Sonja).

        Dorinda seemed to be more afraid of Bethenny’s exploration/outing of this, than she was of John attacking Bethenny. For unlike John (and Betty), she understood this would be a gross mismatch of wits!

    • belladonna

      The snoopy scarf! I was laughing my ass off. Bethenny is a cuntsatchel but we’re here so we love it.

      Dorinda and John were sloppy drunk.

      • Queen of the Nile

        I’m still laughing about the snoopy scarf — Bethenny gets the award for best zingers, always!

      • Calipatti

        Adore Bethenny, she is witty and smart. I enjoyed her kindness towards Ramona and Doeinda, she tried.
        I’m confused as to why Dorinda is with John.
        Which one of you originally said Ramona suffered with Asperger’s could be correct.
        I’ve struggled over the years to like Ramona, is she just mean because how could she be constantly clueless? Asperger’s!!

  2. T D

    As comfortable as a bed of nails. There just may be a common denominator here.Bravo should warn viewers content may cause nausea, vomiting, elevated blood pressure , depression, . . This causes a lot of additional pain to those who know the true definition.Thanks to whom ever decides what’s entertainment.

  3. Katherine 2.0

    Go on with your bad self, B. Jules and John deserve every bit of your contempt, but you are right to back off of Dorinda.
    She needs support while she figures out why she wants to play beauty and the beast with John. Is it the coke?

  4. jen

    That uust gave me a great laugh!

    I hope this one doesn’t end th3 trilogy of #fakeillnessby bravo and now something about Jules anorexia continues on…yikes. John is just gross. I don’t like him on the show at all, why is he such a famewhore anyway?

    • Elizabeth

      I swear Dorinda is his first girlfriend!!! I don’t think this guy has really ever been around women! He is beyond awkward and just creepy!

  5. Pip

    I missed the first showing, so just starting this now. But did Jules really just call some of these women “the elderly”?! I am 50… Probably close to these women in age… Am I elderly? Christ on a cracker! She certainly seems like a brainiac.

    • hannahkingrose

      Wow Pip, if you’re the elderly at 50, she’d probably call me the crypt keeper at 59 lol.

      • Meri

        At 74 I must be the body in the morgue. Jules is this seasons idiot (ala Kristin Taekman) and they could be besties. Bethenny is the STAR and she will do and say whatever she pleases. Dorinda is a mess and will need rehab if she continues to associate with John. John is a pig…no other word describes him better. The show is fun to watch and this blog even better to read.

      • Calipatti

        Meri, I hike/walk with a few women your age, they can out hike me. My goal, honestly, is to keep up with them.
        Age is a state of mind and good clean living.

    • Auntie Velvet

      That drove me crazy too, because in every episode so far she’s thrown some age-shade. It’s all very Brandiesque of her.

    • jen

      She is really not bright.

      I miss Kristen.

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      I can’t stand Jules. She looks just as old as the rest so where does she get off? Hate her “dumb” act with the Caesar quote so she could refocus all the attention onto herself too. I see you, Jules.

    • em

      I am only 30, but find it really gross and offensive when the new housewives, like Jules, Brandi and Megan Edmonds, belittle the other cast members for their age. Do they think they live in a timeless vacuum where they will never age? It’s very rude, ageist and also sexist since at least Jules and Megan are married to men around the same age as the women they are insulting.

  6. Alyssa

    The only thing I could think this entire episode was Carole looks like Steven Tyler. Especially at the panty party in the black turtleneck. Is it just me?

    • Minky

      Oh my god! Yes! Carole totally has that aging rock star thing going on. Steven Tyler meets Keith Richards. I have no clue about this Jules person, but why of all people are Bethenny and Carole skinny shaming her? From what I’ve seen Jules is very pretty, skinny or otherwise.

    • No , it’s not just you. I have always thought Carole’s look was off. I don’t find her at all attractive. Her mouth & teeth are annoying!! Jules is calling woman in there 50s elderly…she needs to ” back it up quick” & get some parenting classes, along with some milk shakes. John, hmmmm what can I say, weird, gross,dirty looking, drunken mess. Poor Dorinda she’s a mess & would be a better fit on Mob Wives. Ramona is…well RAMONA. & Bethany, well she’s funny at times with her witt, but overall annoying .

      • Miguel

        You’re going to kill me, Anna! I barely caught my breath with Alyssa’s Carole-Steven Tyler comparison; and now your Dorinda/Mob Wives comment! This site is th BEST – bless everyone’s hearts!!!

    • JennyB

      My 20 year old son (who hates the Housewives franchise with a passion) was half watching and said, “Is that Steven Tyler?” “Seriously, is that his sister?” It is not just you.

    • jen

      Yes she so much does.

    • Miguel

      ROTFLMAO, Alyssa – best comment so far!!!

  7. Lana Kane

    Jules is painfully dumb. I’m having Kelly flashbacks. And did she call these women elderly?

    Bethenny wins me over when she’s funny. She won a free pass for this episode as soon as she told John to take off his Snoopy scarf.

    So John and Dorinda are just coked out, right? Or is it just me. They just seem lit and sloppy together and if Dorinda is numbing her grief with his coke that would explain so much. I feel sorry for her and then she starts acting like an extra from a bad mobster movie and I stop understanding why she’s on this show.

    LuAnn’s real estate scene was fine but I really don’t believe she can afford those apartments. I just don’t see it.

  8. Auntie Velvet

    All this time I thought Dorinda was trying to talk herself into loving John, but she finally explained that relationship so it made sense to me. He himself is like a drug to her — just one of those inexplicable chemical attractions. She knows he’s a negative influence and gross, but she also knows there’s nothing she can do about it.

    • Miguel

      Or maybe he’s her supplier, Auntie Velvet?

      • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

        That’s what my hubby said…he probably makes it real easy for her to get a hold of. He just always has it. She doesn’t have to call anybody, ask anybody, deal with any of that.

  9. Pip

    I just finished the show, reading your recap and reading the comments.
    Honest to God, Tamara… I don’t get how you can recap so quickly and detailed. It blows my mind, seriously. It takes me twenty minutes just to get my thoughts together after an episode like this. So this made me realize… I am really fucking grateful to you for your recaps and your site. Thank you. xxoo
    Now, my heads still spinning, let me think…
    I think Dorinda has a drinking problem. There, I said it. I will maybe (hopefully not) get attacked for this, but she really is two different people. I felt so bad for her throughout the whole skinny cow BS (not to mention him showing up at a bra party) and all the bickering. But then at dinner with Ramona and Bethenny, it was like she was back to defending him. I think Bethenny really has a good read on their dynamic and I think she is right. They party too much together.
    Also, I couldn’t help watching those bra sales women through that exchange. I am sure they were like “get me the fuck OUT OF HERE”!
    Ramona’s apology was so Ramona. You had to laugh.
    Bethenny is everything on this show. She has more snarky one-liners than any housewife anywhere. She butts in when she shouldn’t, she’s loud, she’s opinionated, but I don’t care. I give her a pass. I love the girl!

  10. I have gone from finding jules mildly annoying to fast forwarding her stupidity. Not sure if anyone else noticed – Ramona did a hilarious voiceover at the end – she did the ‘for more info go to bravo blah blah blah’ you can actually hear her crazy eyes

  11. Cherry Bomb

    God I loves me some Bethenny….The Snoopy scarf …. On the chubby baby… Just so funny ! Oy vey… But that Jules… Her breadstick and kool aid Shabbat… She’s special.

  12. Reading your paragraph about who is staying where in the Hamptons made me flash back to the glory days of this show…scenes of Ramona’s and LuAnn’s Hamptons houses, then cut to: Alex and Simon staying in a rental shack, filling up a blow-up pool with the garden hose…

    • Katherine 2.0

      Those were the days! That sad, shabby rental. Those poor deluded wannabes. I actually came to like them both.

      • FarFromPerfekt

        Me too! And, who can forget “I Am Real!”? (I’m currently humming along donned in my finest red Disco pants. ?) Those truly WERE the days.

      • Calipatti

        Ahh yes, Simon’s red leather disco pants.
        Over their morning coffee looking at Page Six to read their names, maybe.

  13. Jim

    I should know better than to do this but…

    “Since last week Bethenny has supposedly blocked Bethenny on Twitter. ”

    I assume there is a typo in there somewhere. I know Bethenny is a bit crazy but blocking yourself on Twitter just might be impossible.

  14. Rach

    I’ve just had a peep on Carole’s Twitter and she non stop tweets about Luann. It’s odd.

    • Calipatti

      Luanne said some seriously nasty things to and about Carole for months last season. I thought Carole said she wasn’t going to engage Luanne about it so I’m not sure.

  15. Jim

    This may have been the best episode of RBONY (the Real Bethenny of New York) ever!

    Bethenny: I’m sweating like a whore in church!
    Dorinda: You have no cellulite.
    Bethenny: No I don’t. But I have any ugly mug and newscaster hair.

    Between the coked-out John and Dorinda and Bethenny’s one-liners, I could never imagine a better episode. Luanne, who? Sonja, who? Carole, who? Just let them all go. All we need for the rest of the season is Bethenny, Dorinda, Ramona, Jules (because I love to hate you) and John(!).

    Too bad Celebrity Rehab was cancelled because I would kill to see Dorinda and John in rehab.

  16. Holly

    Jules is calculating. She’s trying to align herself with Dorinda against Bethenny except Dorinda doesn’t want to alienate Bethenny. It’s a strange tactic for a new girl but yet she threw Bethenny under the bus multiple times last night.

    Ramona seems to be emotionally turned off except for flirting. She tried to express emotion twice last night and failed on both counts.

    Agreed that Bethenny should let the John thing go. It’s very Lisa Rinna to stage an embarrassing intervention on TV. Is Dorinda supposed to say thanks for saving me from a life of being a coke head and dating a loser? Don’t think so. Also, can Bethenny reel in her ego a bit? I don’t know of anyone man or woman, who would like to deal with that for the rest of their life.

    Carole is acting a little too good for the show this season but I like her still. I think she, like Bethenny, hate the show but need the exposure. I think she’s making a bigger deal out of this thing with LuAnn. Who cares what she thinks, LuAnn is far from the morality police.

    I like looking at New York real estate. I like Sonja. She’s so off kilter.

    Oh Dorinda. Someday she’ll be done mourning her late husband and then she’ll stop partying and leave John. But they are like a coked up Romeo and Juliet at this point. Snow crossed lovers.

  17. Amy V

    On WWHL Sonja said that she is with Trump the poll is fixed. Referring to WWHL poll. Truer words have never been spoken on this show. Hilarious.

  18. susan

    I don’t know about the cocaine use; for sure it seems as though they need to limit alcohol use. Dorinda said John is good at sex. He’s fun, has money, and curls her toes. Let them be. Don’t be a dum Dum jules — women in their 50s are not elderly that’s just sloppy ignorance.

  19. LINUSSPACEHEAD

    IMO:
    Dorinda is with John because he makes her forget about Richard (she is in no way over losing him). His hard partying ways with booze, coke?, and who knows what else diminish her depression temporarily until reality (what people think of him, his crass treatment of her) smacks her awake from her “dream”. Then the cycle repeats.
    He’s a user and a creep who thinks he’s got his golden egg laying goose. What’s beats free national advertising for your business?
    Just hoping she dumps him before the reunion. Dorinda, please! You can do better than that.

    • Tulsateacher

      You’re right. Dorinda is still grieving her husband. She remembers where Ramona sat at her husband’s funeral (second row I believe she said) so I imagine she gets caught up in her thoughts about that day and the moments, good and bad, they shared. John takes her out, gives her a reason to get dressed up and even though he’s crude he does treat her well and gazes at her like she’s the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen. Dorinda needs that right now and I think the housewives should get off her dick and just enjoy the time they spend with her because she’s so witty, especially with Bethenney. There aren’t many who can spar with Bethenney and keep up. I don’t think Dorinda has a drinking problem. She likes to drink and get loud and have a good time and has been known to overdo it like a few of her costars. I don’t know if John is coked out or not but if he busts in Snoopy scarf style again just don’t engage with him. Don’t take it out on Dorinda. Dorinda reminds me Carmella Soprano ( the character, not Edie Falco) and I want her to go mobster occasionally if only for my own amusement.

  20. LoriNYC

    It seemed that Bethenny hit the nail on the head by implying that John wasn’t only drunk….it looked to me that he had been skiing. He even kind of copped to it when she suggested breaking out lines….he was all for it.

  21. Katherine 2.0

    Bethenny is having flashbacks to feeling used by someone she felt only wanted the fame and money from being on national television. Maybe she’s projecting that on to Dorinda, or maybe she sees all too clearly how this is going down for her. Maybe Dorinda knows too, she doesn’t want to be alone.

  22. Cheychey

    Did anyone else see when John greated Jules they kissed on the lips then the cheek. It wasn’t a passionate kiss or anything but still if my husband kissed one of my friends on the lips as a hello his lips would be knocked to the back of his throat. John knowing that he was the topic of conversation at the bra party seems like set up by bravo.

  23. Nila

    I thought it was very smart and mature of Jules to not let Bethenny bait her on the phone. She did what all loyal friends should do, she stayed out of it. You could tell it irritated Bethenny that she couldn’t get Jules to trash Dorinda & John. I’m not sure what the point in calling her was?

    • LINUSSPACEHEAD

      I guess she was trying to include Jules in the drama which is obviously this show. I’m not sure if Jules’s reaction was genuine or faking it for the camera.
      So far Jules looks like a one season wonder to me.

  24. jen

    Ramona’s apology at the party then Bethany & Dorinda in their talking heads describing it. Ong I laughed so hard. Not discounting Dorinda deserved a real apology but the whole scene was hilarious to me. Ramona is such a character. Its like you watch her and say what is wrong with her? She and Bethany together talking 100 miles an hour is too funny. They are funny together. I felt bad for Dorinda but John was crazy! Crazy! The coke thing is disturbing. Carole speaking to Jules…funny too. This show is just refreshing Real Housewives can be funny stil and I can enjoy watching. The BH and OC got me through about I think one and a half shows this season before I just quit and read the recaps. Unless something interesting hapoens in the recaos TT does I don’t watch.

  25. Tp

    Did anyone catch the comments that Dorinda made to Jules’ husband or was it just a slip of the tongue? As soon as she and Mr tomato face got to their house she made a comment about “swingers” I thought you said swingers but you said swimmers . ? Then she said that maybe she and Jules should ” switch” men. I don’t know.. Maybe Dorinda is just as freaky as her boyfriend. Hmmmm

  26. Tp

    Dorinda bothers me. She’s too sensitive, drunk and aggressive. Everything is just too intense and she has zero cool.

  27. First time commenter, long time lurker. Bethenny gave Dorinda a pretty straight, no-holds barred reality check about her boyfriend’s behavior and character. Ramona repeated something she heard someone say. And yet Dorinda chose to seize upon what Ramona said to fuel her ire. After a time, she just wasn’t so invested in being angry at Bethenny. Why? My amateur guess is that Bethenny got to the heart of the matter. She literally delivered the chubby baby. Ramona was just repeating gossip. Gossip (to many) is not threatening. Someone winkling out the heart of the matter is. So who do you get mad at, Gossip, or Truth? Truth is hard to fight, and painful. So Dorinda chose to get mad at gossip (Ramona) instead. All that said, if I needed a girlfriend to asses my relationship, it would definitely be Bethenny.

    • assess, not asses, and stop laughing Sigmund Freud.

    • Katherine 2.0

      Excellent post. Love the name, too!

    • Shae

      Well said, I agree!

      Bethenny lined it up laying it all out to Dorinda, then John knocked them down by barreling in proving all her points right.

    • Cupcake Scholar

      I thought Dorinda was angry with Ramona because she expected more from Ramona given their 20 year friendship. She does not have the same expectation regarding consideration or tact for Bethenny since they have known each other for a much shorter time. Dorinda did respond to Ramona at the bra party defining how she would like to be informed regarding manners about her relationship with her boo, John.

  28. Cupcake Scholar

    On another note, people tend to date where they are emotionally. Dorinda admitted to feeling bad all of the time, thus, her current terrible choice in a mate. I have been there! I dated bums when I felt like garbage and dated better once I felt better about myself. Our emotional state often reflects our choices.

  29. Sara

    “Take off the Snoopy scarf.” —B drops the mic.
    John: “yap yap-I’m a dipshit that’s too sweaty–yap yap…”
    B-picks up the mic for an encore: “You’re the cow, I’m the girl…” Drops mic AGAIN. She
    Is awesome in every way. She’s my housewife hero, and she’s not even technically a house wife. She seems to always put on the gangster rap and handle shit. Just sayin…

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