What The Hell Happened to Johnny Depp?

 

Johnny Depp

 

 

Clearly I have not been paying any attention to Johnny Depp.  He does NOT look like that anymore. I just Googled and he is only  52! In some video I saw him walking and he looked like a doddering old man!  I guess it is drugs? alcohol? Does he have da Lyme?  It’s so sad.  But once you get past the sadness, the video below is hysterical.

Last year Johnny and Amber flew to Australia and decided not to follow the International Laws about bringing animals or food into the country.  Because, idiots.  The penalty for bringing animals and produce into Australia is up to ten years in prison.  Unless you are Johnny Depp apparently.

These two signed a plea deal that involved them agreeing to make a video about the importance of following the laws about brining items into the country.  It is hysterical. It reminds me of videos of people being held in North Korea where they are forced to say they committed crimes and are super duper secret agents for the CIA.

So funny. So sad.

 

 

66 Comments

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66 responses to “What The Hell Happened to Johnny Depp?

  1. I’ll keep trying to, but can’t get video ~

    I have been wondering about him for a long time.

    Not at all like he used to present himself. I felt he was really awesome with his swagger.

    I do know he’s been saying his young daughter is “sexually fluid” now.
    Perhaps he’s just overwhelmed with real life.

  2. gapeachinsc

    Goodness gracious! I could not stop laughing – this is pretty funny. And so embarrassing.

    • Kika

      They KNOW that this video is making Australia a laughing joke and they are loving every minute of it!

      • Deb in SF

        Making Australia a laughing stock? Are you kidding? That video made him look ridiculous. Nothing wrong with Australia’s restrictions.

  3. tamaratattles

    Is pot legal in Aussie? Maybe they are on ‘ludes? Do people still do ludes?

    • Micheal

      Medicinal marijuana was only just legalised in Victoria for severe medical cases – so not really.

      It won’t be like in America where everyone gets a card then buys pot lollies.

    • I’m in south Australia where there is. $50 on the spot fine – so basically it is legal.

    • SerenaK

      It’s funny you should say that … when the story was covered on the local 6 o’clock news here (Vancouver, Canada) after the piece aired, the anchor said “It’s like Captain Jack Sparrow on quaaludes.”

  4. I kept trying to see if they were blinking a coded distress message.

  5. Dee

    He doesn’t look like himself. Gosh cautioñary tale for those guys on Southern Comfort.

  6. That was really funny. He looks like he’s been mainlining dunken donuts.

  7. Uhoh, now I am going to have to do a video for fat shaming Johnny Depp.

  8. Puddy

    Well.. maybe just to me… but Amber looks as if she is trying not to burst out laughing during the entire video and Johnny acts stoned! OMG!! This is hysterical!!

  9. Minky

    I think Johnny looks very handsome. The video is weird, though. Like, why?

    • tamaratattles

      Minky, darling, it’s time to update your eyeglasses prescription .

      • Dee

        HAHA in the first picture he is adorable. I agree with the video, he looks nothing like the first. They do look like they are being forced to film. I guess he thought he was so high on the totem pole he would not get in trouble. I wonder who turned him in?

  10. I was just saying yesterday that I’m really disappointed in Johnny Depp. I really loved his movies. Bennie and Joon, Gilbert Grape, Scissorhands, Donnie Brasco , Feels for him after Pirates.
    Ever since he married Amber Heard, he has morphed into someone else. He looks horrible. His personality changed. He’s spiraled down. Or appears to have. And his movies suck. Makes me sad.
    He used to pop up here in Ft. Lauderdale and play sets with his band in bars. Not often but when he did it was a nice surprise if you were in the bar/club. I think his wife is a bad influence. Or maybe I’m just jealous.
    I had a major crush on him way back. No one comes to mind right now that I crush on. I hope I’m no Too old to crush. I now have to give this much thought. Hope mY juices lhaven’t stopped flowing. Maybe just because, Tim Gunn. ?
    That video was tragic as is this comment.

  11. Paula

    Why does he have a British accent?

    • Wampascat

      Because he’s from Kentucky??? Madonna has one, because sh’s from Michigan.

    • Deco

      Because he spent so many years living abroad.? In France?
      Now he’s Down Under. And owning his bad behavior. Apologizing. In what may be an Aussie accent so people fully understand that he takes responsibility for his actions. He thought it would be ok because he’s Johnny Depp.
      Seriously, I didn’t notice his accent I was mesmerized by his face. He looks horrible. I wonder if he looks in the mirror. Must take the wind out of Captain Jack’s sails.

  12. Wampascat

    I see an SNL sketch in the near future. Hilarious!!!!

  13. natalie

    I blame Amber Heard. He should of stayed with his first wife and the mother of his children.

  14. Calipatti

    Video is hilarious. Australia wanted Johnny Depp on video, they got a version of Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp is in full make up in this video. I’ve seen recent photos of him and thought he looked like himself but more chiseled.

    There is video of him in Donald Trump face, somewhere.
    I’m old so maybe everyone looks young now.

  15. susan

    I did not recognize him. I read he gave up cigarettes and heavy drinking once he got with Amber. Maybe Australia can still administer the punishment if they didn’t do a good job? Prison; put dogs to sleep.

  16. HappyGal

    I swear I need CC for this – I cannot understand what they are sorry for bringing into the country. Getting old sucks.

  17. I’ve been keeping track of Johnny Depp & he actually looks better in that video than he normally does. Breaks my heart. He’s usually covered in scarves & stupid man jewelry & looks dirty & drunk. He went from gorgeous to looking like a combination of Steven Tyler & Mickey Rourke. He’s in the midst of a serious, drunken midlife crisis that’s been going on for several years now. And the new wife isn’t helping. She just wants to vampire off his fame. I’m not sure he’s going to survive this…

  18. PaganChick

    When I first saw this, I thought he was just doing his Marlon Brando impression as kind of a “fuck you” to the folks making them do the video – actually, I thought it was a big joke he was doing to try to troll Australia because he got busted. I didn’t realize he was actually required to do it as part of his arrangement for breaking the law.

    Also, I figured his current appearance was a combination of him going from playing Whitey Bulger to Donald trump – since both characters required major alterations to his appearance. Did you guys see Black Mass? Say what you will about the guy, but he has not lost a single solitary bit of his intensity when it comes to character rolls. If he could just leave the “Pirates of the…” nonsense and get back to real character work, I will be a very happy movie watcher. Like, I know that Jack Nicholson’s character in The Departed was loosely based on Whitey Bulger, but damn, Depp KILLED that performance – he is downright terrifying in that movie.

    • Auntie Velvet

      It’s both. They’re fulfilling their requirement, but doing it in the most sarcastic way possible without getting in trouble.

      It would be a brilliantly deadpan performance — except, then you stop and think about it. After all, why do they have to get something over on The Man, when they actually did do something wrong?

      Their crime wasn’t violent or extreme, but it was one that could cause some harm. They don’t really need to act like they got caught smoking doobies, and now have to say some really uncool mea culpas on video.

  19. Miranda Aldridge

    There is debate going on in Australia on what to do about the outbreak of chylamydia amongst the koala bear population. Disease can run rampant in a fairly quick amount of time there because it really is a small, isolated area.

    • tamaratattles

      Wow, who knew Koalas were such whores?! #TheMoreYouKNow /RAINBOW

      • Yes TT, Koala’s are highly sexed & chlamydia is a real problem in some colonies, even sanctuaries. But they have a great life if protected and healthy – they get stoned on Eucalyptus leaves and mate – they are also extremely loud & vocal! Nothing worse than having a koala orgy next to the house at night. Mind you they are very cute when relaxed and chewing.

      • Deco

        ? ” everyone knows” ( outside Atlanta) that they’re KHOTS. #?

  20. Gladyskravitz

    Yikes. It looks like a hostage video. And what’s up with Depp’s accent? I love the guy but come on!

    • Billie_bee

      HA! I was thinking the same thing! I was waiting for them to hold up a newspaper with today’s date as proof of life…

  21. T D

    Deppreciation of a handsome face.

  22. Friday'smom

    The video is surreal, it’s like they are trying to send a coded message for help. Depp looks like he’s been ridden hard and put away wet…

  23. Too much Keith Richards Pirate roles…not enough Gilbert Grape. :(

  24. Alexandra

    Hi Tamara,
    I work at a lawfirm directly opposite the Southport Courthouse on the Gold Coast where Johnny & Amber were yesterday morning! Didn’t see them though just the mayhem around it. People were so much angrier about it because they could not plead ignorance as Johnny was filming in Australia for pirates of the Caribbean and there were a lot of issues for the monkey that’s in all the films and the monkey being quarantined and it was a HUGE issue about how long the quarantine would be etc. Asshole.

    • tamaratattles

      Alexandra, thanks for the information. They sure seemed to be assholes about it. I shall apologize on behalf of America for them. Perhaps you should add them to your no fly list with the likes of Justin Bieber. :)

  25. susan

    It’s the camera angle too. It’s from below and that’s rarely flattering for older people. Taken from above is much better

  26. Johnny Depp is a good eccentric actor, but to this day I still don’t understand how people thought he was ever sexy or hot. I NEVER considered him attractive in his early years & and never understood his sex appeal to millions. It boggles my mind.

  27. Cat

    He looks bored.

    But he had to do this. I think there’s more to it, considering he was there to shoot yet another Disney film. Like Tim Burton, he “sold his soul to the Devil”. He really is not a fan of Disney.

    The impression I get is, he just wanted to get it over with, and out of there. That’s why he reads his lines with no emotion. He is fulfilling the requirement, but making a mockery of it, at the same time.

    • Katherine 2.0

      I love the sarcasm oozing out of that mandated public service video. They made a big joke of it, and it is hilarious.

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