Southern Charm Recap: Hold Your Horses

Southern Charm Cast

 

UPDATED: Sorry about the odd post.  WordPress  posted it while I was writing and I had no idea, then it didn’t take any updates after it randomly and prematurely did it’s thing.  THEN I could not edit the first version and had to copy into a brand new template. Apparently when that happened it gave me double paragraphs. I THINK it is mostly sorted now. I’m going to go see if the Dallas one did the same thing.

Southern Charm has become one of the better shows on Bravo, at least so far. No fake illnesses, more drunk men than drunk women, cute babies, and most importantly, Charleston. I wonder if this fake job of #NewCraig’s will be as exciting as his last fake job. It looks like he has to actually show up in the office to film with J.D. for this one. #NewCraig really needs Cooper Ray to help him learn how to tie a tie. And by the right size shirt.

Shep moved in to his new house and it looks great. He wants to put an above ground pool on his roof. His mom is about as thrilled about this as that guy on Jackass who is constantly destroying his mother’s house. Shep wants get his real estate license and work with Cameran.

Well I’ll be damned. Thomas is not as dumb as he looks after all. He’s a Clemson fan. I would have pegged him to be one of those nasty gamecocks. His house looks great but there is literally nothing in his refrigerator. And so it begins. The on again portion of the Thomas and Kathryn relationship. They are keeping the peace for the good of their children and Kathryn is going to stop buy to show him some stuff about a house she wants to by in I’On. Oh wait, now I get why she thinks it’s a starter home. She doesn’t really know what that means. LOL. She is renting and she needs Thomas to cosign the lease with her. It takes a couple of fake tears but Thomas agrees. Then he invites her to a polo match. I am so confused about polo season. Because she was like three months pregnant during polo season which I think is in April or May?

Well it actually is going to be a “Flamingo Party.” I could not imagine having something so terribly tacky in Charleston and had hoped perhaps it would be an upscale sort of event perhaps with Flamenco dancers, but alas, you can’t take the tacky out of the girl. At least she has a gay party planner to join her in the room where the chintz monster threw up to discuss the tackiness. Patti claims to be writing a book about southern parties. Clearly this will be a vanity publication.

 

Soon I will have a little brother to whomp on the head with a polo mallet !

Soon I will have a little brother to whomp on the head with a polo mallet !

 

OMG Shep and Cameran meet at Martha Lou’s! I really miss places like that. When I lived in the middle of fucking nowhere South Carolina me and the professor in the next office would go out to lunch at the most random shacks down backwater highways. It was so much fun.

Landon is having some sort of thirtysomething crisis. She asks her dad for some financial help and he tells her that she needs to get herself focused on one idea.

Kathryn calls Thomas to tell him that no one is inviting her to anything and that Patti didn’t invite her to her white trash Flamingo Party. I’m assuming everyone will be in tank tops and daisy dukes. I hope Kathryn has something to wear. Thomas is going to have a little chat with Kathryn. He brings a giant candle to Patti and tries to suck up to her to get Kathryn invited to the party. Thomas is really good at the hard sell. In her talking head Patti says that as far as she is concerned Kathryn doesn’t exist. Which is odd because Kathryn is the only thing she talks about. But Patti of course is not going to invite Kathryn. Patti is so jealous of Kathryn she seethes with envy every time she is around.

Oh Lord. #NewCraig is going to propose to Naomie. So he goes ring shopping with Cameran. I don’t believe this is an actual thing. Oh wait. He is going to buy a promise ring. Apparently, a ring valued at $2,500 – $3,000 was provided for promotional consideration.

It’s Polo Time! Apparently, Kathryn got a rental Maserati to drive to the polo fields. Being on popular TV shows sure has it’s perks! Kathryn freaks out that JD and Elizabeth are there. Why? They actually like her? I keep forgetting she is pregnant and her emotions are all over the place.

Kathryn has a nuclear meltdown and leaves. She says it is because there is alcohol around the baby. This makes no sense. Even for pregnant Kathryn.

Next week: Kathryn goes to the hospital.

53 Comments

Filed under Entertainment News, Southern Charm

53 responses to “Southern Charm Recap: Hold Your Horses

  1. tamaratattles

    Sorry if you tried to leave a comment and it is gone. WP ate the entire story and I had to start over in a brand new posts. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR So frustrating.

    • T D

      Once my dog really did eat my homework. At least there was chewed remnants that could be presented as evidence. Mercy was bestowed upon me by a n understanding teacher.. Reckon her dog et a thing or two of hers as well. Sorry WP et up your hard work. Threaten them with a rolled up newspaper if they try to do it again.

  2. Psylocke

    Damn I never noticed how short Andy is. He looks like fucking Polly Pocket hipster edition.

    • BB3

      Yeah but he isn’t THAT short…he is 5’9″ which is no giant, but certainly not “short.” He looks like he is among a land of giants in that picture. It is a matter of the perspective of the picture. He is standing quite a few feet farther back than the people on the ends…or Shep Rose is 7 feet tall

  3. Puddy

    Both Mars and Pluto have gone retrograde today, and all my emails disappeared too! I feel sorry for Kathryn and just wish that people like JD and Baby Whitney would stop telling Thomas to protect himself from Kathryn! She is the young, single mother of Thomas’ 2 beautiful children, and Kathryn needs and deserves for Thomas to protect HER.. Thomas does not need to be protected from her. Why is it ok for poisonous Patty, and crabby Cameron to be protected by men.. but not Kathryn? when Kathryn is warm hearted and beautiful and intelligent and not a snob? Why can’t Thomas stop listening to these jerks and stand by Kathryn?

  4. beth

    First glance at the picture at top, I thought – “who is that short guy in the middle”? Holy shit, it’s Andy! Is he really as short as he looks in that photo?

  5. Theresa

    Did I miss something about the Polo match? Thomas invited her to a Polo match (no expectation of family day or being alone), then the beach the next day. Next thing I see iS Kathryn losing her mind. She has an issue with alcohol, hello pot meet kettle, yet her buddy Jennifer (who just needs to go!) Is standing there with a drink the whole time. Her behavior is so extreme even considering pregnancy hormones.

    Thomas needs to keep his shirt on!

    Oy! Looking forward to next week and can’t wait for below deck med!

  6. True_Joy

    So Patricia hates Kathryn because she reminds her of herself 30 years ago. I know that isn’t a huge revelation but it explains everything.

    • I’m not crazy about Patricia. She’s so F–ing pretentious. No wonder Whitney hides in closets. As for Kathryn, those baby hormones are doing a number on her. I understand she’s pissed because her daughter’s god mother has thrown her & Kinsey to the side. Okay, so go up to her & tell her calmly how you feel. Don’t go off half-cocked. She’s only hurting herself. The girl has got to let go of Thomas & grow up for the kid’s sake.

  7. Pip

    Man… Katherine is so high maintenance. Is it her hormones? I know some of you like her, but I just think she’s awful.

  8. Puddy

    The episode editing so far this season seems designed to make Patty look her best (does anyone else notice some great plastic surgery touch ups on Patty bc she looks decades younger than she did on season one?) and calculated to make Kathryn appear at a disadvantage. Feel Whitney at work, and Bravo has this new “fabulous Patricia” article. What’s up? Has Andy been staying at the Buatta/Altschul manse?

  9. Toddy

    New Craig and Naomie have no chemistry. Grown folks don’t give promise rings.

  10. Katherine is High Maintenance whether pregnant or not. She needs a few months in finishing school to learn how to achieve her aims without alienating all around her, regardless of how loathesome they may be.

  11. 25

    I was expecting Elizabeth to be like what is wrong with this crazy woman, but she displayed real sympathy for Kathryn’s emotional state. I wish Kathryn would reconnect with her, even if JD clearly is not on team stay-together-for-the-kids. Wasn’t it JD who supported Thomas courting Kathryn in season 1 because of her pedigree? Or was that Thomas’ pastor, who has been conspicuously absent during Thomas’ bender…

    I have the same little flamingos that float in the pool and are supposed to hold your beer can. I see Patti and I shop at the same bachelorette party supply website for our shindigs.

    • Theresa

      I think the consult was with Wil fits. He was listed as his political advisor or some nonsense when he’s actually a blogger (he might call himself a journalist tho)

    • tamaratattles

      “I have the same little flamingos that float in the pool and are supposed to hold your beer can. I see Patti and I shop at the same bachelorette party supply website for our shindigs.”

      You are my new favorite commenter, 25. I needed that laugh tonight after all the frustrations getting the site to actually do what it is supposed to. :)

  12. Tp

    Did Kathryn say that she made a deal with the Devil? When you throw yourself at a much older man and immediately get pregnant to make sure you get his $ , then get immediately pregnant again when things don’t go quite like you planned .. You’re the devil! She doesn’t even try to hide it! The crying about living in a little ole house while he lives in a mansion.. Uhg! Kathryn is psycho. I looked up Patti’s bio and it looks like she’s educated and actually had a life of her own before she married rich old men. I can’t see why she’s have any reason to be jealous of crazy Kathryn. I think that she just thinks that Kathryn is white trash and I agree.

    • therealdeb

      Because Kathryn has the one thing Patricia will never have and that is old southern breeding/name and social standing. Patricia bought and stole hers. Allegedly…

  13. There was NO WHITNEY in this episode.

    • Meg

      I noticed that too and was so happy! I cannot believe he allowed that to happen though, because isn’t he one of the producers?

  14. Andy reminds me of Truman Capote in the above picture.

  15. The Maserati was Jennifer’s car. Every time there was an interior shot of it, all I could look at was its saggy headliner.

  16. Auntie Velvet

    Thomas looked a little coked up at the end of his polo match. Just very crazed about “my baby,” and then pacing around talking to himself. Maybe it was just dehydration, but…he did not look right.

  17. Jim

    Andy looks like a ventriloquist’s dummy in that photo!

  18. Trixie

    I don’t understand how Kathryn gets any sympathy from viewers. When I was pregnant, I slept a lot. She needs a nap! Instead she brings 15 year old 1st love drama to the table. Where are her parents? She is driving her life into a ditch. Every time she is awake, she makes her situation worse. Girl, just stop. Look at yourself.

    • tamaratattles

      Perhaps it is because out of all the options on this show, she’s one of the least defect, and she’s in her twenties. It’s not like she is a 53 year old failed politician trying to screw everything in town and getting in bar fights. Or a walking mummified yankee gold digger from the 1940s, or a creepy, bitter Weho queen with mommy issues, or any of the handful of misfits trying to find themselves in their 30s.

      I mean, let she who didn’t drive her life into several ditches (and off one literal cliff) in her twenties cast the first stone. And um “they” weren’t making a six figure income and taking care of two babies while doing it. And it generally turns out just fine. I sure wouldn’t want my 20s on TV. Or well any other decade.

      • IMO

        “… mummified yankee gold digger” has me rolling with laughter. Ye Old Great Caftan has gotten on my last neuron.

  19. Cheychey

    Kathryn is one of my fav’s on the show but I was not down with her behavior this week. If she wants to act looney bird over Thomas where their relationship is concerned that’s fine. Once there are kids involved things change. It’s not fair to use the kids as a bargaining tool. Of course he should help provide a home for them that’s not in question but the if you don’t do things the way I want I won’t let you see your daughter is not fair to the child. She actually has a father who wants to spend time with her unlike men who drop the kids completely if they’re not with the mom.

  20. Meri

    I love this show but have changed my mind about some of the characters. I always thought that Patricia was a snob and that hasn’t changed one bit. Thomas was my big crush but he looks flabby and balding and skeevy and his attitude toward his children is insincere and uncaring. Katherine is an intelligent girl but I wouldn’t trust her to attend any party because Patti and Cameron were right…she blows up at the drop of a hat and is nasty. Shep is getting too old for his frat boy behavior and Craig looks like a bad ad for some men’s cologne or Italian wine product. Shep calling hi style “euro-trash” was right on the mark. I no longer like Cameron either. She is a snob and not the sweet southern belle that she was portrayed to be in season one.I actually like Whitney and his know-it-all smirk and am finding him sort of attractive this season. JD seems a little slimy and I wonder if his business is legitimate. Taking $15,000 from Craig was like watching someone steal candy from a baby. The behavior at the Polo match was weird and I just didn’t get what Katherine was so upset about. It made absolutely no sense and seeing Thomas expose his middle-aged body was shocking and sad. Does he not see what he looks and acts like; a has-been playboy with lots of money and no class? My favorite part of the show is the scenery of beautiful Charleston and the fun music theme. I love the 1920’s vibe. Great recap as always.

  21. Puddy

    I suspect that Kathryn’s behavior took place bc she has been treated so badly and/or hypocritically by everyone but Craig — and for no reason. She wanted the fairy tale – a loving husband and family and the protection necessary for her to stay home and nurture and raise her children with some measure of peace and security. That said, Catazure is right– if she wants this — she may have to play the superficial game– take some charm/ hostessing classes, and out-do Patricia at being Patricia – now that would really p.o. Whitney. However, Kathryn is not, by nature, cold blooded like most social climbers, so she may have to take some cruelty classes. Unlike her detractors- I have only seen Kathryn react to being treated unfairly or unkindly — but never be deliberately cruel or discrimnatory in any way.

  22. Meri

    How could I have forgotten to mention that my LEAST favorite cast member is Landon. She is a spoiled brat who definitely wants Thomas.> I don’t think that Katherine is wrong for suspecting her motives and for resenting her. She has ZERO talent as an artist and is annoying. Fake, fake, fake……

  23. Twilly

    I remember on the clip for this week’s episode Kathryn stated that JD and his wife hate Katheryn now so something must have happened. Maybe they’re just taking Thomas’ side in their drama.

  24. If I remember correctly, Katherine had a one night stand with Thomas and then went around accusing him of not giving a shit whether he had gotten her pregnant or not. AFTER that she had her alleged “long term” two-week fling with Whitney. Thomas takes her to a CLINIC for a pregnancy test (not because she thought she was pregnant but because they had one night of unprotected sex). (Apparently Katherine, at that point, had no idea there were home pregnancy tests.) Any reasonable person would have been scared shitless by Katherine’s stalkerish and immature behavior. No playing hard-to-get with that one. But not T Rav. He continued sleeping with her. At that point he was on notice she was out to get pregnant. To me, they deserve each other. And they’re both completely nuts.

  25. Margarett

    Seems as if they’ve flipped the script this season. Patricia actually seems nicer to me. Hey, she loaned her butler to Cameran who doesn’t seem as likable. I still find Shep adorable, but Craig not so much.

    Thomas should never, ever take his shirt off in public! All I could think of was Paul Newman in the movie “Blaze”. (Not sure of that spelling.)

  26. margroc

    I liked Cameron the first season but cannot stand her now. She seems to be trying to inch her way up Patricia’s butt. Speaking of Patricia, I think she has a hard on for Katherine because she wants Thomas. She reminds me of the southern belle in a horror movie.

  27. Laura

    If Katherine now has a problem with godmother #2, will we be treated to a 3rd Christening?

  28. Patty told Thomas that Katherine should focus on raising her kids instead of worrying about being invited to parties. Oh, please! Patty knows exactly what she’s doing. Patty would lose her everloving Yankee mind if she wasn’t invited to the right parties. Yes, Katherine is a loose cannon but that’s not why Patty is icing her out. Patty is just a petty bitch. How embarrassing!

  29. T D

    Their wardrobe looks like they went good will hunting. On the other hand the beautiful baby is truly charming.

  30. T D

    Andy looks so tiny in jockey kinda way. Riders up.

  31. Zaoli

    We Katherine even pregnant when she was at Thomas’ asking him to cosign? And then the next scene at the polo match she’s huge.

    Why did the baby go in the nanny’s car at the polo match, and where did they go? Did they meet up with Katherine down the road? After all that work getting the car seat in the Maserati.

  32. Kristi

    I agree with some of the above comments. Kathyn is in her early 20’s and seems to be picked on by middle aged women. She does need more years to grow up, is it not true that’ a females body isn’t completely developed until 21-22. You can tell Thomas and Kathryn are in love and advice to Thomas should be to learn how to get along with kathyn. Thomas took advantage of a young girl because of her beauty. This is a Southern family of upper class breeding, so the damn show needs to help them get it together, because this is the elite children of this community. Everyone has to pull it together to help kathyn and Thomas so they will all be proud of theses children! Thomas is trying to use money to get back as kathyn, the fool absolutely is responsible to provide his family a home. Good lord Southerns!

  33. alex1986

    Since Witney is one of the creators or producers of the show is he possibly trying to get the other cast mates to not film with Kathryn by icing her out so she won’t be on the show anymore? I know him and his mom can’t stand her so I was thinking maybe he has a hand in how she’s being treated.

  34. LA_in_KY

    If Thomas is so upset about the amount of time he spends with his child, why does he have a nanny with him when he has his child? It is not quality time if you have to have hired help assist you in caring for your child. Put down your drink and play with your kid dude!

  35. jen

    Landon annoys me, JD just seems soooo slimmy, Patricia is so fake. Also flamingos are beautiful birds but Patty is a moron writing a book. Who buys all of these books from people? All of these reality “stars” write books and somehow sell them. I don’t get it.

  36. Shae

    I’ve said before, I don’t much care for Kathryn, but that being said I think a lot of what rubs people the wrong way about her is just normal stuff people her age do. She is significantly younger than the rest of the cast, there is something to be said for that. We all made mistakes at that age, unfortunately for her, hers have much longer lasting consequences (two kids by a deadbeat dirtbag) and having a family before she’s ready for it.

    I think the immaturity you see, is natural for her age and if she had waited ten or so years to have a family I’m sure she’d be behaving much differently in these situations- but she didn’t. She had a fling with a crazy older guy who is a big man-baby himself and now it’s a perfect storm of shit. She is temperamental, unpredictable, rather immature and often rude (not to mention a bit crazy for pursuing and chasing thomas despite all his bullshit) and that makes her unappealing to many people who are buttoned up and proper (like patricia). She is anything but. I don’t think the contrast would be so pronounced if she wasn’t from such a well to do/iconic family and people expect her to have decorum she clearly doesn’t have.

    It’s a shitty situation for her, because she’s really not acting much unlike a 22 yr old and she’s catching grief for it, but when you start having babies you don’t have the luxury of acting your young age anymore. she’s got to man up and be mature even if dirtbag thomas won’t.

    She at least has reasons for being the way she is, he should know and should be much better at his age. No excuse.

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