Here Is How The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Works: An Abridged History

Taylor Armstrong Joins the Girls from RHOBH in Vegas

It occurred to me yesterday as I spent five and a half hours getting a haircut and some highlights (I look fabulous but Jesus Christ on a cracker, how do these housewives abide sitting for hours with a chair while people fuck with their hair and makeup?) it occurred to me that a lot of commenters here have either not watched RHOBH from the beginning, or see every season in isolation from the previous ones.  Others just pick their pony ( or mini-horse or swan) whenever they began watching and defend that person to the death. I do not understand this viewing method as it is just not how life works in general with a group of women, and it certainly isn’t things evolve on reality shows.  In any group of women, in a sorority, in the junior league, in an office setting,  friendships change and develop and are influenced by the introduction of new members and the departure of old ones. On reality TV people come in one way on their first season and can be a completely different person on their second season. Kenya Moore came in batshit crazy and then toned it down for season two. Thus I hated her season one and have enjoyed her more and Moore as the season’s progress.  Camille Grammar season one was not the same Camille Grammar we had in season two. Those are extreme examples, but in general you never see the season one personality of anyone by the second season. The longer people are on, the more they understand the game.

 

One of these is an actual llama, the other is a drama llama

One of these is an actual llama, the other is a drama llama

 

So what is the game?

It’s basically just like the Hunger Games. The way to win the real housewives game is to get a contract renewal for the next season.  This is how you win the game and draw a salary that pays more than anything else you will ever do in your life, (with extremely few exceptions) and draw attention to your business particularly if you actually have a business (like Lisa Vanderpump, Bethenny Frankel and Heather Thompson). Very few women in the history of the Real Housewives franchises have ever said, “This is a stupid game that is beneath me and I don’t want to play it anymore.”  I am going to focus on those who really want to play the game, and how that relates to this season of RHOBH.

RHOBH Season One

Season one was a dress rehearsal. For the purposes of this post, the only players we need to discuss are Kyle Richards (and Kim to some degree) and Lisa Vanderpump.  Things did not go the way the LVP wanted in season one. She was not the prettiest, the richest, or at the center of much drama. LVP’s plan was to buddy up with Kyle, but Kyle was at the center of every storyline and LVP was upstaged by Camille, who was being cheated on very publically by her famous husband and flying everyone to NYC to witness her husband basically humiliate her.  LVP was upstaged by Adrienne who had more money and was flying people to Vegas to meet Jay Z at a concert in her hotel.

Kyle has a huge blow outs with Camille resulting in the infamous Dinner Party from Hell, perhaps the greatest moment in housewives history. Kyle outs her sister as an alcoholic. Kyle and Adrienne seem relatively civil and Kyle befriends Taylor Armstrong. That last decision by Kyle will cause an issue with LVP so deep that LVP never gets over it. It will bubble up over and over on every season. It was in retrospect a bad decision, for Kyle and she will regret it for seasons to come. LVP also makes a mental note that Kim is a weak link with an addiction problem. She will debate how to use that to her advantage.

Season one LVP did not have enough accoutrements to stand out on this show. She needed a better house. She needed some swans. Some puppies. Perhaps a pony or two. She could not rely on a British accent and a random stray European man will tales of woe living in her house. For now, LVP is going to have to rely on Mohammed to provide a house that will be competitive on this show. LVP uses Kim for this plan inviting her to Mohammed’s house in order to fix her up with his friend Martin.

Gif Credit: RealityTVgifs

Gif Credit: RealityTVgifs

RHOBH Season TWO

The second season is not much better for LVP. Taylor, who is the bitch that has stolen her ally Kyle, is center stage. There is a very special episode of RHOBH as the first episode where everyone reacts to the fact that Taylor’s husband has killed himself.  Camille’s divorce is literally front page news. And Adrienne may have to move the basketball team her family owns to another town.

Brandi shows up and starts going for Kim right away and Kyle viciously protects her sister at game night. LVP does not attend. Brandi also comes straight for LVP in her very first scene.  LVP is literally being upstaged by a chick who rents a shack in the valley.  Ken becomes LVP’s mouth piece. He puts down Taylor and Russell telling them that marriage therapy is for the weak. At that time we all just write that off as a “British male mindset.”  LVP ups her “British” came (and her accent) by landing a gig on CNN to comment on the Royal Wedding. She goes back to the Mohammed well to throw an engagement party for Pandora, she brings in camel, and circus performers and snake charmers desperately trying to stand out among the group.

Kyle and Kim continue to have issues surrounding Kim’s alcoholism. Adrienne becomes closer to Kyle and tries to help her navigate the situation.

Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd are blamed for a nasty story about Taylor and Russell’s marriage in US magazine. No one really believes this. Because Lisa has a lovely accent and seems rather harmless. Later Lisa and Ken get into a very uncivilized argument with Taylor and Russell. Taylor claims that Russell is abusive.  This causes a brief détente between Taylor and Lisa.

RHOBHapology

Lisa pisses off Adrienne by having her daughter’s bachelorette party at a competitor’s Vegas hotel. Viewers (including me) don’t see this as duplicitous or calculated by LVP either. Adrienne is a bitch, especially to her husband and LVP has a charming accent and a doting husband whose nasty comments are overlooked as coming from a rather cranky old man who likely has health issues. The housewives split into factions for competing parties in Vegas.  Oddly, I believe only Taylor chooses LVP’s event (which is actually Pandora’s bachelorette part and why would the housewives go to a kid’s bachelorette party?) Taylor is still avoiding Camille at this point because she outed the domestic violence claims on TV.

Kyle has to turn Russell and Taylor away from her white party that year because Russell is threatening to sue everyone.

LVP gets closer to Brandi in Hawaii as she is running low on options, but later at the opening of SUR makes sure that Scheana is there. Most everyone saw that as deliberate evil, but no one cared much because Brandi is an awful human being.  In one season LVP  manages to negotiate an engagement party, a bachelorette party and a wedding by Bravo for Pandora. CHA-CHING!

 

REal Housewives of Beverly HIlls

Things sure are chilly between these three!

 

RHOBH Season THREE

Kim goes to rehab between seasons in Utah. It didn’t take.

THE ARRIVAL OF YOLANDA FOSTER.

THIS IS THE PART YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND. THIS IS WHAT MADE EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON ON RHOBH IRRELEVANT BESIDES LISA VANDERPUMP AND YOLANDA FOSTER.

From this point forward, you will find most people have chosen a side in the war that this show has about to become.  Whether they know it or not, they are either on TEAM LVP or TEAM Yolanda Foster.  This is war. There are only two sides. Every other woman on the show, from season three on became pawns in a game of chess.

Except most people don’t understand this. Most people do not know that LVP hates Yolanda because of her divorce from Mohammed who is LVP’s closest friend and perhaps only real friend in all of Beverly Hills.  Yolanda got herself out of that prenup with the whole broken back during Anwar’s childbirth story. I think many conversations were had between Mohammed and LVP and that LVP was angrier about someone doing her friend dirty than he actually was. Mohammed has tons of money, he was not as emotional about it. He threw money at Yolanda, and she went away and he kept his close relationship with his kids.  But LVP does not let things go.  When Yolanda talks about “the vault” she is not referring to Kyle and her issues as much as she is to LVP. These two women both know where the others skeletons are buried.  Mohammed on the other hand does not want any of this drama brought up. He’s made it clear to both of them that they should no rock the boat of the other to the degree that it involves him OR HIS CHILDREN.

RHOBH Yolanda Ken

Yolanda, who has once said that nothing is uglier than a drunk woman, realizes that she cannot claim any of the main players as allies. In the first episode, she picks up Brandi, who says that “Yolanda has slept with half of Beverly Hills” right out from under Lisa’s nose.  And the other drunk Kim as her first two pieces.  You have to work with the resources that are available.  She will come for Kyle later if she sees an opening. In Yolanda’s very first Bravo blog she says of Kim, ” It was also great to connect with Kim (my water buddy!) while she confronts some prior sources of tension. We got along so well despite me having the same birthday as her beloved sister, Kyle, who is clearly not always her biggest ally in life. So much to learn!”  This will eventually be ingrained into Brandi, the village drunk, as her season mantra. It was Yolanda who pointed out to Brandi that the crack between Kyle and Kim was ready to be exploited. It also gave Brandi someone to drink with (allegedly) later in the game. It was a brilliant opening gambit by Yolanda.

YOLANDA STARTS FILMING AT MOHAMMED’S HOUSE!  She just feels like helping him with some interior design. We also see her stunning Malibu house and her super famous (pretentious) husband, David Foster. It’s all VERY  Beverly Hills. We are in LOVE with Yolanda.

LVP gets a better house.

LVP is already in a bit of a pickle. On top of the Yolanda situation, she still has Adrienne and Camille to take out. Camille was downgraded to recurring friend status, so she was no longer a threat.  But Adrienne was still full time and still richer than she was and getting a lot of air time. LVP came for Adrienne in season two quite a bit, coining the phrase” Maloof Hoof” and refusing to film in her Vegas properties.

Gif RealityTVgifs T. Kyle

Gif RealityTVgifs T. Kyle

Luckily for LVP, she still had some sway over Brandi Glanville. In the luckiest moments of Brandi’s life she found herself in a vital spot on the chessboard. A place that both LVP and Yolanda needed to set up future moves.  LVP had little time and needed to use Brandi to both take out Adrienne and leave Brandi too hobbled to be of much benefit to Yolanda. LVP succeeded spectacularly. She loaded Brandi for bear in Ojai which resulted in this being the most read post on TT of all time.  At that time I was a tiny little blog and when hundreds of thousands of people showed up as the show was airing to read that post, I thought my site was under attack. When Brandi announced at the table that Adrienne had used a surrogate for the birth of her twins, Bravo bleeped it out after a nasty legal battle ensued between Adrienne and Bravo.  But the damage was done.  And Bravo and Adrienne were DONE with each other. Adrienne did not show up at the reunion and Andy was FURIOUS.

Adrienne continued to film a bit and even showed up to Lisa and Ken’s vow renewal. On the day of Lisa and Ken’s vow renewal, Adrienne and Paul’s divorce hit the tabloids. How convenient. That is two conveniently times leaks to the press brought up by production.

Kim got a nose job, and the resulting painkiller prescriptions to keep using, Kyle and Lisa fight (mostly about Brandi and Kim) and make up on the Eiffel Tower.  But Yolanda has spoiled Brandi in Paris buying her some very expensive shoes.

RHOBH Puerto Rico

Brandi Photo Bombs LVP

 

RHOBH Season FOUR

Taylor is gently pushed out of the show and appears in only a couple of scenes. Ditto Camille. Joyce and Carlton arrive on the scene and basically stay out of all the lines of fire. There lack of participation got them summarily axed for the next season.

The only pieces left to move around the board are Kyle and Kim and ….Brandi.

Now LVP can show turn her focus to  Yolanda. So she is going to need Kyle back solidly on her team and when Kyle upsets Carlton inadvertently LVP defends her.  She continues to woo Brandi away from Yolanda with moderate success.  In episode two, Yolanda according to the TV listing “needs surgery for her Lyme disease.”  Surgery for her Lyme disease?  Sigh. This changes things.

LVP goes on DWTS and has no sense of humor when the others discuss her dramatic fainting scene. Kyle initiated that and that INFURIATED LVP.  She was also pissed at Brandi for participating. So when packing for a trip, Brandi shows up with tabloids about Kyle and Mauricio. Brandi says later that LVP told her to bring them. Despite the scene looking very set up with LVP seeing the magazines laying around Brandi’s place and LVP asking on camera why she has said tabloids. I am firmly ensconced on TEAM LISA VANDERPUMP with most of the rest of you. These days, the Brandiloons take my position on Season Six LVP as finally believing Brandi.  Perhaps, maybe I do in this third TABLOID INCIDENT involving LVP now. But it still doesn’t make me like Brandi.

Brandi begins to realize that Lisa is manipulating her and runs into the arms of Yolanda who is now able to completely control her and turn her against Lisa.  Lisa has also had a blow up with Kyle over not being a loyal foot soldier when the mean girls were poking fun at LVP’s DWTS appearance.

RHOBH Brandi Yolanda Sister Act

After two seasons of covert warfare, never calling any attention to their own actions, Yolanda’s lyme brain had outwitted LVP. LVP and Yolanda had been pretending on camera to be if not allies than mildly tolerant of one another but all of the underpinnings had come to the surface. LVP says in a blog about this time, ” Now after reading Yolanda’s blogs and having seen endless comments on film, I have realized I called it wrong. Obviously Kim and Kyle had been truthful about what had transpired in Paris, I just had refused to believe it. Joyce had warned me at the beginning of the season, and I chose to ignore her account of Yolanda desperately trying to engage her in a detrimental conversation about me. I didn’t know Joyce at that time and I was hoping that the bond between Yolanda, Mohamed, and our families would supersede the negativity she harvested.” In other words, “Look Mohammed, I did the best I could but this bitch is on my last nerve and it’s all her fault.”  LVP will play the victim to the hilt for the rest of season four.

This is also the season where Yolanda accuses Ken of attacking her at a party.

When the gang went to Puerto Rico, LVP had very few allies. Except for me. And most of you.  Even when all of this went down in Yolanda’s words, ” If Ken had given me the opportunity to speak at the table before lumping me in with the three other women and before he called me ‘stupid,’ I would have said that I saw the magazine in question at Brandi’s house — but I never saw Lisa put it in the suitcase. Ken did not want Kim to speak for Brandi, but he spoke for Lisa even though the truth is that neither one was there.” I did not personally become disgusted by Ken. I felt like he was sticking up for his wife. I was still on the front seat of the LVP bus in a cheerleader’s outfit shaking my pom poms and the bus sped off for the edge of the cliff.

RHOBH LISA

GIF BY RealityTVGIFs
LVP was pretty pissed at Andy…

When Ken CRIED at the season four reunion, I was so upset with EVERYONE on those couches for coming for sweet little LVP my blood was boiling. I was furious with Andy Cohen. I have searched for my recap of that reunion, but I don’t think at that time I was recapping any RH shows other than Atlanta.  This was, at that time, to my eyes based mostly off of just that season and not THE LARGER PICTURE a whole bunch of people being really mean to LVP.

RHOBH hamptons white

RHOBH Season FIVE

In her first blogs of season five, LVP has picked her new pawn in the game, “You will enjoy getting acquainted with Eileen, a lovely woman that I am happy to call a friend, someone who is understated about her success and supportive of others. But adding a new cog to this wheel often changes the complexion of these existing friendships, so as always stay with us!”  Didn’t take long for her to turn on Eileen.

This season was a bizarre mess. Kim was back and clearly not sober. Lisa Rinna and Kim’s interactions in Amsterdam sort of overshadowed everything. Brandi aligned further with Yolanda as no one wanted to film with her anymore. Rinna and Eileen were much believed first season housewives and Yolanda was more focused on carefully crafting her divorce from David and properties were being liquidated and LVP was not the primary battle on her frontlines.

RHOBH Brandi Slaps Lisa

Yolanda took us to Holland, and Brandi enabled Kim’s addictions and carried out Yolanda’s season three plans to pull Kim away from Kyle. But by now, Yolanda realized that Kim wasn’t stable enough to use in her war against LVP. Also Bella got a DUI while Yolanda was frolicking in Europe that she would later blame on Lyme Disease in season six.  But first, Yolanda made just a brief appearance on the reunion to talk about Lyme disease before bailing out on the rest of the drama. That left Kim and Eileen to be the maid drama of that reunion and LVP and Kyle were not that integral to the finales.

 

Gif Credit: T.Kyle realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

Gif Credit: T.Kyle
realitytvgifs.tumblr.com

 

RHOBH Season Six

Yolanda needs an ally. Fresh out of central casting we get Erika Jayne.  Erika Jayne who likely doesn’t know Yolanda from Oprah storms onto the set and in every scene plants a seed about Lisa Vanderpump’s “side sniping.”  She says several times to people who will listen that LVP is the kind that doesn’t directly come for you, but gets her agenda accomplished through the side door.

On Team Lisa we have Kyle and Rinna.  From the very first episode LVP starts to blog about how she and Kyle talked about Yolanda’s condition.  LVP said, ” I think it was confusing seeing her dealing with this illness, how it ebbed and flowed, the social media pictures…and as the season plays out, we discuss that, as you do when you are all immersed in a group. ”

RHOBH lisa lisa eileen

So the grand stage was set,  LVP, Kyle and Rinna  v.  Yolanda and Erika.  The other new girl, Kathryn would be little more than the neutral water carrier between the two camps.  Eileen would be very late to the party as she was grieving two deaths in her family. She would mostly talk to Rinna about the off camera loading of ammunition as she was really not up to the season this time. She would try to distract herself with Erika Jayne. Erika Jayne was like a new shiny thing for Eileen to play with. She had no idea that Erika had a pivotal role to play in the drama.  Yolanda would direct from the sidelines alternately freezing herself and appearing as though she was dressed as a giant pan of Jiffy Pop whilst chatting with her favorite child on Facebook, while Gigi looked put out by the entire farce and ready to be elsewhere.

Kyle would manage to excuse herself from the main clash on the battle field by hanging out with Faye and holding dinner parties where everyone could go after each other while she checked on the help. She was aware that Lisa wanted to expose Yolanda’s illness but she was not willing to be town crier of the incident.  So Rinna did it. Kyle, LVP and Rinna were all well aware of what Munchausen is before it was ever said on screen. As was Yolanda.

RHOBH Erika Chanel lock
The interesting thing that occurred this season was that the introduction of the most important things came from someone reading from a phone. First everyone gleefully read Yolanda’s ranting text to Kyle in their talking heads. Next  Rinna uses her phone to read what everyone else is DYING to say as it has been all over the Internet!

So the season goes on with Rinna very early on realizing she is going to the only one held accountable for what EVERYONE ELSE including production, who wanted the storyline introduced as early in the season as possible,  was thinking.

Eileen has her own issues with production which stem from her having to convince production to leave her marriage issues off camera. She pled with them that her family is already dealing with two deaths and could they please have a modicum of compassion for her family during this difficult time. Production backed off. LVP was forged on with her script either unaware or not caring.  I’d presume the latter since she never issued a genuine apology to Eileen, who she has referred to as her friend and someone she thinks  highly of.

RHOBH reunion yo

So as the season ends, Yolanda is now in OPEN warfare with LVP for the first time ever. Once Lisa used Kyle to  “force” LVP to confess that Mohammed knows that the children do not have Lyme Disease.  Yolanda retaliated via Mohammed to get LVP thrown out of the House of Jordan. Yolanda’s crushing blow will devastate Lisa Vanderpump if it is indeed successful.

There is a new TMZ story today that has many of the details wrong about when and where LVP and Mohammed had the conversation about the kids. It was not filmed for RHOBH. There were however paparazzi outside snapping photos. This was in fact a very big deal and something that Mohammed did not want on the show. And there certainly have been implications that effect his relationship with Lisa Vanderpump.

But the extent of the damage is not yet known. Lisa has already tried to placate Mohammed. It could be as dire as TMZ is attempting to make it out to be, or not. Time will tell. We do have three episodes of a RHOBH Reunion to publicize and TMZ tends to work hand in hand with production to bolster up the excitement.

RHOBH Reunion lisa v lisa

SO I began this incredibly long retrospect to hopefully shut down some of the stupidity I have been reading here. Particularly, about Lisa Rinna who has been treated like the biggest buffoon of all time by some of you. Everyone on this show since season two has been fighting for survival in a hunger game like arena.  Just like everyone else, Rinna, Eileen, Erika (and to a lesser degree Kyle because she is not going anywhere, ever and is part of production) pick their allies, choose their battles and fight to the death.  Rinna is full of emotions and empathy that are often lacking on this show. She is prone to dramatic overreactions. She often regrets and apologies for her choices.  But no one in the Thunderdome is guiltless. They are all fighting for their lives and making quick decisions.  It is irksome that this reunion Lisa Rinna is going to take the brunt of the abuse, when there are plenty valid targets available on both couches.

And for the love of all that is holy, NO OF THEM ARE BLAMELESS.  And Yolanda Hadid and Lisa Vanderpump are the primary opposing forces.

So if you are going to comment on the season, at least have some sort of idea about WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

That’s all.

182 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Camille Grammer, David Foster, Entertainment News, Erika Jayne, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Taylor Armstrong, Thomas V. Girardi, Yolanda Foster

182 responses to “Here Is How The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Works: An Abridged History

  1. Auntie Velvet

    Watched every season. Kind of get how human beings work and, to the extent a civilian can, how behind-the-scenes machinations work. I still find LVP the queen to rule them all, and Rinna an endearing but easily-distracted jester who is the type to think an Oprah “Aha! moment” has the profundity of a sacred text.

    • tamaratattles

      Other than calling Lisa a queen, we have no point of disagreement. Lisa is no more a queen that Yolanda is, and that is to say not at all. And the rabid fans who worship any of these caricatures we see on reality TV as a queen running the show fail to even “kind of get” how the show works.

      Lots of first time cast members also fail to understand how the show works and who is driving the drama of the season. LVP has certainly been a main player since season TWO. And was not about to allow Yolanda Hadid of all people to come in and take her down. She even tried to bring Shiva on the show to keep Yolanda off.

      Depending on the actual damage Yolanda did with Mohammed based on LVP making a miscalculation on who Mohammed would end up having to side with publicly, this could be the undoing of LVP. Which I for one DO NOT want. Though I am not distracted from the actual warfare by the swans and puppies and llamas. I do still want to see them.:)

      • SDC

        Question: why would LVP bring Yolanda on a reality show if she hated her? Um, to say that LVP hated Yolanda from the get go makes no sense. Yolanda clearly was the one with the issues with LVP. She was called out for talking crap about not just LVP behind her back, but the others as well. Yolanda is many things, but a queen is not one of them

      • tamaratattles

        ROFLMAO AT THE LVP FAN WHO THINKS LVP BROUGHT YOLANDA FOSTER, WIFE OF DAVID FOSTER ON THE SHOW!!!!!

        You seriously can’t break through the swans and llamas to get through to these idiot NO MATTER HOW DEEPLY YOU BREAK IT ALL DOWN!

      • Swizzle

        The depths of loyalty and delusion of some LVP groupies is astonishing. Seriously, someone needs to study this phenomenon. It’s crazy and at this point fascinating to observe.

      • I honestly want her gone because it’s ultimately Vanderpump fault that we got a terrible season revolving around something that happened off camera. It’s a reality show and Vanderpump is staging too much off camera. Plus I think she just outgrew the show, similar to how Nene and Bethenny did. She needs to either take some time off like Bethenny or become a special guest star like Nene. She still has Vanderpump rules so she’ll be around. I’d support her staying if she was going to be accurately portrayed, but I think Bravo will give her a hero edit to make up for season six since she’s surely been throwing tantrums behind the scenes threatening not to come back. They absolutely murdered Brandi season five to appease Lisa and the fans baying for blood over the fact that Brandi dared to stand up for herself against LVP’s manipulation.

  2. Jaana

    OMG. GENIUS. This is exactly what is happening on that show. I also think Lisa Vanderpump encouraged Kyle to keep feuding with Camille, while keeping her hands clean. The day Camille decided to be nice was the day Lisa Vanderpump became HBIC.

  3. Without sounding like a kisser upper, everything you said is what I have been saying to friends all along about this. (different words of course) I am amazed that people have been so blinded by LVP and Yolanda. This is worst than watching Game of Thrones, same principle, but at least on GOT I like some of the people.

    You are a great writer and thanks for going over each season because the whole picture is just that the whole picture. This has been building up and now we are at match, point, game.

  4. Carl

    Love it! And yes, I’ve seen every episode…twice. I wonder what Yo could have on LVP in her “vault”? Theories?

  5. Shirley

    Damn Daniel!! Lol! I didn’t even realize that LVP was trying so hard to be the richest HW!! So what is she going to do to Erika? Cuz isn’t she the richest one now? ??

    • Sweet T

      I totally want to see a lvp vs Erika fight to the death. Kyle, Kathryn and lvp vs Erika, Eileen, rinna and Yolanda. Who will come out on top? Let’s start taking bets.

      • Calipatti

        We know it’s not Kyle, all we will see is her back as she runs.

      • tamaratattles

        Seriously? Is Kyle not suffering enough for you pleasure? You just want to say shitty things online to pile on? Fuck off with that.

  6. V

    This was an excellent break down ! Yo vs LVP is one of the better face offs IMO and they are both excellent manipulators.

    It makes a lot more sense now why LVP is forever going to hold a grudge against Yolanda. I assumed as most folks that it was because of Mo, but I didnt think about how its because she’s pissed at the whole prenup situation.

    I was just thinking earlier, who are LVP’s friends because she doesn’t seem to have any or keep any. Honestly what Kim said is sounding about right in that she only cares about ( she only has) ken and her kids. Then I thought oh yeah she has Mo, but I guess he is axed off the list now. If what TMZ is saying is true, TEAM Yolanda has won.

  7. Micheal

    Again. It will all be a gang up on Lisa Vanderpump at the reunion – when the real issue is Yolanda.

    Yes Yolanda and LVp hate each other, but only one is faking an illness by Bravo.

    Let’s get real people. LVP and Rinna were not the reason why this season sucked. Eileen and Yolanda are!!!!

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      I agree – Eileen and Yolanda are the two most irritating.

      • JustJenn

        I agree. But now that TT has mentioned the death surrounding Eileen during filming it may have played a part in her hostility toward LVP and all of the questioning about Yolanda’s health. I want Yolanda to come back healthy and get the take down she so desperately needs, instead of playing sick when things don’t go her way. ?

      • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

        I agree about Eileen – HOWEVER I think her issues with LVP (and encouraging Rinna to have issues) were more about deflecting from her marriage storyline than anything else.

    • This. TBH.
      Yolanda won becuase she wasn’t exposed for all of the contradictions.
      Rinna is going to think she is redeeming herself by the reunion footage but she’s going to make herself a bigger spectacle.

      In a weird way, LVP will draw. She will lose more than she’s lost in this game before but Rinna’s nonsense and desperation and Yolanda’s questionable antics will bring her L back up to a Draw.
      If LVP returns, I think she will play her chess game a little more wisely since she almost took a L this season.

    • Yes, the real issue is Yolanda, but no one seems to want to go there. In my opinion, Yolanda is the reason this season sucked. I’m willing to give Eileen a pass, since she was obviously off her game this season.

      • Minky

        Off her game? I believe that Eileen was nothing of the sort. Perhaps Eileen had no idea that she her insistence upon an apology from LVP was putting a wrentch in LVP’s works, but it definitely was. And Eileen’s continually bringing this up leads me to believe that she knew what she was doing. In that situation Eileen’s like a cow in the middle of the road: Harmless, but also basically immovable, and she’s caused LVP to be put into a situation that she can’t easily go circumvent.

        You know how they finally got Al Capone? It wasn’t for any of his real crimes (liquor running, racketeering, murders, etc.). It was for tax evasion. That’s how they finally got him into prison. Well, Eileen is LVP’s version of tax evasion in this situation, at least with Yolanda. Her non-apology to Eileen might bring about the exposing of all of her other machinations. She’s been running a pretty tight show since day one, and next season she might have to start from scratch with her alliances.

        Yolanda’s danger here is her own hubris. She’s being a little too smug about putting the ladies in a rock/hard place position where they can’t openly question her illness or her deceit. She’s on a runner’s high, but she’d better not forget to mind her footing.

      • This reply is actually to minky.

        I love Eileen and take her side 100% with the apology issue. But LVP is going to win. Didn’t you catch LVP throwing Faye that pointless apology on the finale? It was so she had evidence to say “See, I do say I’m sorry!” and can poke holes in Eileen’s claims that Lisa refuses to apologise. Lisa always manages to cover her ass unfortunately.

    • jen

      Oh poor Eileen in her denim jump suits and purses from payless. I wish she didn’t suck this season but she did.

  8. susan

    I don’t know what to say except for weirdest friendships ever. My friends plan beach and pool parties and support each other whenever we can. I’ve been told I have one of the most exciting lives and I never plot against anyone, including my arch enemy.

  9. Wow this reminded me of Nancy Drew novels! I couldn’t put it down! Thank you! That was quite enjoyable!

  10. JustJenn

    I’ve thought it’s been LVP vs Yolanda, at least this season it was pretty clear..people were just more willing to take up for Yolanda as she’s sick. Rinna is in the middle and eager to keep her diamond after she lusted over it for so long.

    I am still team LVP. And I like Kyle and Rinna, too. We need a season with the same cast to see where everyone ends up once Yolanda is fully “cured” aka her book is published.

  11. Gapeachinsc

    it was interesting reading about Adrienne again. It’s a tough gig. Rinna should read The Art of War before she comes back. She does have a kind heart, that’s for sure.

    • Sweet T

      Camille read it and it didn’t help her

    • madeleine

      Don’t see Lisa Rinna having a “kind heart”… She’s only interested in manufacturing drama to retain her place on the show. She loves to stir the shite.

      • tamaratattles

        How would her having a kind heart, exclude her from stirring the shit on a reality show? What the fuck did she manufacture? YOLANDA HAS POSTED ALL OF HER BULLSHIT ONLINE AND THE INTERNET HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOREVER.

      • Lisa is paid to manufacture drama to retain her place on the show, as they all are. They are all wallowing in the same mud pit for $$$$$.

  12. PaganChick

    I am glad you wrote about this as I have been re-watching the first and second seasons on Hulu this week. What I love about season 1 was that everyone (including and especially LisaV) knew that this was Kyle’s gig. The only person who was fighting for title of queen was Camille. LisaV was totally invested in being Kyle’s friend, but it isn’t obvious until that lunch where Lisa thought it would just be her and Kyle and Kyle invites Taylor at the last minute to join them. That whole “she’s jelly” conversation really showed Kyle just lapping up being top dog.

    What’s interesting is seeing how that shifted going into season 2. Kyle was suddenly considered this horrible person for outing Kim in the limo and the audience just loved everything Vanderpump. Over the course of a single season the power dynamic between the two of them totally shifted. I’m midway into season 2 now and it is amazing how everyone who was trying so hard to be Kyle’s friend is trying to win over Vanderpump. It’s like every single woman on the show knew that they had to be in good with Vanderpump if they were going to make it. And this is where we really start seeing Adrian becoming frustrated with the Vanderpump love. It is no wonder Brandi was able to swoop in the way she did.

    The housewives could totally be a study in armchair psychology. I have to say I am kind of riveted. Seeing Kyle and LisaV moving from being somewhat bitchy but funny mean girls together, watching everyone try to make their grab for power is intensely fascinating.

    • PaganChick

      What is really interesting about season 1 as opposed to the other seasons is that Kyle is the center of the show. Everyone is either there as a friend of Kyle’s or, as in the case of Taylor, really trying to insinuate their way into Kyle’s circle. It truly is the only season where we actually see Vanderpump being jealous of someone and having that someone be poor sad Taylor is just plain delicious.

  13. I don’t understand the mentality of viewers/fans that dissect these shows ad nauseum, and then go bat shit crazy on social media with such intensity. Yeah I watch the shows too but I take it in only as mindless entertainment. I do realize there is some minimal essence of reality, but 99% of this drama is production induced manipulation. Why is that so hard for people to understand? Drama sells & people watch.

    I saw somewhere on social media today that there is a campaign by crazed LVP fans to get Eileen Davidson fired from Y&R. If you are one of these people you are an idiotic raging asshole that needs medication, a job, and a life.

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      Erm wow. Eileen annoyed me more than anyone this season but I’m sure if I met her in person I’d think she was a perfectly lovely person. Getting her fired from Y & R?!?! That’s batshit.

      • Minky

        Sometimes these fans just go too far. Are people THAT stupid? I hope not.

        TT’s thesis about the RH of BH was stupendous. So much ridiculousness! I have a feeling that with this group the biggest trick to play would be to not play any tricks at all and be honest.

    • madeleine

      totally agree w/you Urethra!

      • Minky: obviously people are that stupid. Have you read what the stans say on social media? I love you, I hate you, anyone who doesn’t love/hate you is the devil. It is ridiculous.

    • Jess

      Mann, that’s so wrong. It just shows how f***ed up the world is now. Where do people get all this anger from, it’s so weird. To go after a persons job??? Threatening?
      They just bow down to LVP sooooo blindly. I mean – do they like have posters of her on their wall? Is her picture their phones wallpaper? What has she actually done to deserve this, besides liking dogs and ponies?

  14. YASSS TT! I really don’t get where all the anger for RINNA is coming this these fans? She’s been trying to call everyone out on there shit. YO and LVP must have dirt on everyone except Rinna? I thought it was strange that on WWHL (the one w her an erika recently) Yo acted as if her and LVP are just fine but Rinna was dead to her. Was that just to save face for Mohammed? Thanks for all the work TT great rundown!!

    PS: Doesn’t M word, actually make you physically ill even thought you don’t have diagnosed illness? You stress yourself out w believing in one that it takes over your body? Just curious..bc Rinna has never doubted that she was physically sick..just what and when?

  15. Real Housewife Of Bloody Hell

    I’m kinda sceptical about Yolanda having such a hard time trying to pronounce “Munchhausen”. I’m quite certain that the word should be familiar to her, as it is the name of a very famous German fairy tale character, at least here in Europe, Russia, etc. I would guess that she would recognize it instantly, even if she didn’t know it as a psychological term, the meaning of which is based on the personality of the fairy tale character. Maybe someone who actually is Dutch could comment on how popular the book is in Holland?

    • tamaratattles

      Pretty much any adult with an education beyond high school knows the term Munchausen Syndrome. The feigned lack of knowledge of the word was hysterical to me. Rinna did it because she was introducing the term that she wanted to claim was brought to her by someone else. Yolanda did it to appear as though she had no idea what it meant and therefore it could not possibly apply to her. Which was EXTREMELY telling.

    • Queen of the Nile

      Didn’t Yolanda – heavily accented – also ask what a wig is? She is so ridiculous.

    • WHWJ

      I am dutch and the fairy tale of the baron of Munchhausen is a quite famous story in the Netherlands. So when I heard Yolanda pronouncing it like she didnt know what it was I cringed

  16. Barbara R

    You have to remember that these people are not really friends, just coworkers, except for perhaps LVP and Kyle. They all have real friends and they do not appear on this show.

  17. Just my opinion but I think Rinna would sell her soul for camera time and ANY kind of publicity.. she seems so desperate for attention and in secret loves the situation she put herself in regarding LVP and Yolanda…after all it keeps her face on the screen and to her that’s what it’s all about.

    • Exactly. How soon they forget how Rinna pretended to be ok with Brandi while trashing her and siding with the winning team for her gain? How soon they forget how Rinna made disturbing texts to Kim and was overly nasty? how soon they forget how Rinna had no problem “exposing” Yolanda when she had the OGs on her side as backup and as soon as it was clear she was on her own she tattled. She dug her own grave and tried to play I’m owning it but they need to as well.

      I laugh at LVP smiling to Kyle at the finale when she said in front of Yolanda that rinna was claiming LVP was the one behind the M word.

      Kyle backed LVP because only Rinna was foolish enough to take it that far. they were smart enough ot call bs and have their digs off camera.

      Rinna being 40+ and still allowing herself to be a “puppet” Who would sympathize with that when we see how much glee she had in questioning Yolanda and aiming to expose her…as long as she had backup

      • Or it’s possible that LR was just following the “unscripted script”. Just think how boring the season would have been if she hadn’t created drama around the whole Yolanda story line.

    • tamaratattles

      Wait WHAT? A reality personality who craves attention and the cameras?

      STONE HER!

      This is the called MISSING THE FUCKING POINT. THIS RIGHT HERE is the type of mentality that tries to fuck with Rinna and Eileen all over social media. It’s idiocy and needs to stop.

    • Dee

      Woah really good information, thank you!!

  18. Virgil

    I love this post!!! But I really think Kim is a key manipulator but not in the way Yolanda and LVP command the board. I think she has her own agenda which i can’t quite figure out but it’s all about protecting her storyline and maintaining some illusion about her life. Anyways in Season Five I am willing to bet that Kim told Brandi a bunch of poor me stories about how evil Kyle (who sometimes threatens Kim’s built “reality”) is. And reactive and emotional Brandi, who doesn’t think but only blindly attacks, bought it. Kyle is probably like who is this B getting in between me and my sister when I really think Brandi is a pawn in Kim’s conflicts with Kyle…even off the show…

    Poor LR…I think she’s just a nice person (albiet a bit kooky) who got burned by the game :/

    • tamaratattles

      Kim is a manipulator because she is an addict. She is manipulating with her own coverup agenda. Kyle tends to facilitate that because she’s Kim’s sister and Kyle is in a terrible place. In the grand scheme of things, Kim has no influence or role other than trying to cover her tracks and embarrassing the fuck out of Kyle you thought getting her a good job might help Kim get herself together

      • Kim is a manipulator because she is a manipulative person, drunk or sober. She has influenced every season, whether present on camera or not. Anything to keep the girl relevant in the media; drunk or sober, legal or illegal, on RHOBH or on another show.

      • tamaratattles

        Please tell us what Kim is like sober. Her kids would love to know. Kimberly got her ass handed to her on a caught off camera episode or Mother Daughter Experiment for saying SHE HAS BEEN WORRIED HER MOTHER WAS GOING TO DIE FROM THE TIME SHE WAS A SMALL CHILD. She’s never been sober on RHOBH. I’d love to hear about your interactions with sober Kim Richards.

      • TT: If Kimberly was so worried about her mother, do you think she would really consent to that ridiculous show re: mother/daughter experiment? This is one of those situations that it really isn’t beneficial to bring reality into reality TV. If Kim and her family were really trying to promote Kim’s recovery, they wouldn’t be agreeing to Kim’s presence on reality TV.

      • Virgil

        Yeah Kim’s not on par with LVP and YF who control the chess board but I do think she’s a second tier manipulator on top of her being an addict with her control over Kyle and Brandi. But then again I might be wrong. I don’t know these people or have any experience with addicts.

        BTW this is my 3rd post! Its nice to find a place to chat housewives since no one I know watches these shows! :)

      • Minky

        @tootsie I see Kimberly’s participation in the Mother/Daughter show as an attempt to help Kim. It’s maybe her way of making sure that her mother doesn’t just spend a lot of time alone (possibly using or drinking) and a way of keeping her out of trouble (like the Target and Hotel incidents).

      • Dee

        I feel so sorry for for Kim’s daughter, born 1995, a young girl who needs someone to take care of her yet she has to take care of her Mom. I don’t believe she had a choice doing this Mother Daughter experience. Kim keeps saying they did it to build furniture. Too bad the didn’t just go to Ikea.

  19. Larry

    This makes the show infinitely more interesting. They should hire you to do little voiceovers at the beginning of each episode explaining where we are in the game. Or at least to write them.

    Thank you, this has my interest revived as we go into the 500 reunion episodes.

  20. Great read. Not sure if it’s supposed to be a surprised that this is a game of survival.
    There’s a reason that they are on this show and most of them is not for the needed money.

    Rinna still isn’t off the hook.
    Have you not seen her digs that she took at Kim at the finale and then passed it off to eileen as if she was the victim.
    SHe’s still an almost 50 year old woman who wants to pretend as if she did the right thing “owning up” and trying to save her butt with yolanda.

    No, she’s either weak and allowed women to “manipulate her” or she wasn’t and hid behind that after showing her bum.

    She had no problem making the comments when she felt she had backup. She was the only one foolish enough to take it further than needed and instead of being a woman about it she decided to run her mouth to eileen on camera instead of confront it.

    Only to the point where Eilleen got frustrated and “manipulated” her into wearing the pair of balls she had with Eileen on the beach.

    It’s clear Yolanda and Lisa V are the alpha females and Rinna is a weak person that wanted to grab any attention that she could that she was willing to be vile and cruel (as long as she had backup).

    Harry doesn’t want to film her with because, duh…
    She barely visited her parents and I feel bad for her father passing away.
    She’s prepping her kids to be socialites. not mad at that. Fully expected.

    If she’s not stirring up drama and overacting then what is Rinna’s purpose on the show.

    Her rude threats to Kim and her reaction to it was disturbing. Still, I was team rinna until the beach scene.

    Rinna is too weak to ever be a winner. She really did herself in as neither Alpha female wants to deal with her.

    • tamaratattles

      The fact that you have a “Hook” for Rinna and feel the need to disparage her, drag her husband who by the way was busy filming, most often a little show called MAD MEN that you may or may not have hear of, and you want to discuss her parents and her children and then say, Oh but I WAS team Rinna, is a CUNT move.

      And the whole reason this four thousand word thesis was penned. Of course the target audience doesn’t slow down their Rinna vitriol long enough to comprehend the topic of the thesis. They are too busy getting their hooks out.

      • LOL. The hook is that she actually said the word. You can’t force someone to say it.
        Kyle and Lisa V were smart enough not to do certain things on camera much like many.
        Rinna thought she was going to have backup which is why she had no problem being disrespectful towards Yolanda. As soon as she is left out there to take the blame for actually saying the word that the other two ladies didn’t say then she wants to take down LVP with her.

        In the end, Rinna looks like a 40+ year old woman that is still in high school. Wants to fit in with the popular kids. The popular kids KNOW she is desperate for attention and they say things that they know will excite Rinna and get her all riled up to go further because, dramatic much?

        Any fan of the show knows LVP is a master manipulator. How many seasons have they covered her being the chess player.

        Still doesn’t take Rinna off the hook for using Yolanda’s questionable illness to secure air time and willingly being the lips that were made for talking (ish…)

        And now she’s going to go act a fool at the reunion just like she did last year.

        Love Eileen, though. She would have gotten LVP together with class and won the viewer’s side.

    • Matzah60

      @sware84, Yes, yes, and yes to all you said. Yes, this is a game of survival, but the first two years brought us the two people who would reign season after season, Kyle and LVP. It is all producer induced drama, but the people who are willing to play the part selected for the cameras are sadly just playing exaggerated caricatures of themselves. You can’t fake who you are on camera. You may have been shifty, trying to take someone down, obtain new allies, discard older ones who have been quite loyal to you through the seasons, but you can’t change the essence of who you are. If you’re a cold bitch, a deranged fool, an over-sexed and over-sharing woman…..all of this will shine through to the viewers regardless of what you are doing, who told you to do it, and whether you did it to secure another contract for the upcoming season.

      That said, I never believed for a moment that these women didn’t know what Munchausen meant. Yo sounded like an idiot continuing to use the word, “hausenmunchen”. She started off on BH as a very sophisticated, worldly, flush, ‘I know everyone in Hollywood because of my incredibly talented, rich and famous husband, eclipsed in to a nonfunctional nut case who didn’t wash her hair, bathe, wear make-up, and yet managed to end the season all glammed up again.

      Kyle, LVP, and Yolanda are about one thing and one thing only, themselves. Rinna will do anything for a buck, particularly since Harry, better known as Harry Hamlin hasn’t done anything significant since LA Law (Loved that show). Lisa Rinna thought she was going to be production’s golden girl, but instead turned out to be a nightmare to producers when she and Eileen “broke the fourth wall” by speaking directly to the viewers through social media/personal blogs by regularly giving revealing comments on their own actions on the show and how they came about (production). Lisa has a big mouth and decided to reveal how the game is played, a big No No on reality TV. I do hope that Rinna, not LVP gets burned for this.

      • Agreed. The issue I have with Rinna is that she professes to “own” her part but has to include the other girls. This doesn’t justify her part though. she got played. Kyle and LVP saw a woman that was so happy that Kim and Brandi were gone so that she can have her time to be the drama queen and make scenes.

        That glass she threw on the table. the way she wasn’t even close to grabbing Kim’s neck because she stopped herself because she knew she wasn’t going to actually touch kim.
        Kim exposed her with those texts last reunion and with Kim and Brandi gone she really thought she was going to be the go to for production.

        People pretending as if Harry has been commanding loads of money for his recent acting. Rinna’s wearing adult diapers for money for a reason.

        The reason the public are not siding with Rinna is because like you said she is revealing how the game is played and the public is fully aware of this game and knows had Rinna had the backing for this vile act she wouldn’t have a guilty conscious and then say to Yolanda sorry my guilt is killing me and I need to come clean. Nonsense. Most people are smart enough to know that Rinna did what she did because it backfired on her. not because she had a change of heart.

        I think LVP will come out ok because her manipulative ways are not a surprise to most viewers. Many like how well she executes her gameplan. Rinna’s theatrics in the clops are going to be criticized heavily I think…

      • Hibs

        I don’t agree that you can’t fake who you are on tv. Rinna and Eileen are professional actors. Every single scene with Eileen felt like a bad episode of Y&R.

        Also – Harry Hamlin was in Mad Men. That show was phenomenal.

      • Matzah60

        I loved Mad Men but Harry was only the n it for a year, the next to last tear when it ended. I have always enjoyed watching him and was a huge fan of his on LA Law, but aside from Mad Men, he hasn’t done much mainstream parts. At least, none that I can recall.

    • SaraSally

      I like both Eileen & Lisa. I did think Lisa’s storyline jumped the shark when she responded so vehemently to the photo of the 3 cast mates. Her emotional response to the pic didnt seem to stand on its own merit. Perhaps, she was amped because production was pissed that they had a storyline that ended up falling through. She was halfcocked and ran with it, regardless….the dinner gathering was still boring. Yo avoided another conflict but managed to stay in the storyline. Furthermore, why doesn’t Yo care about us, and our journey, and how she makes us sick? hmmph.

  21. GillianFirst

    GENIUS so thorough and detailed!

  22. bria

    Awesome. … thanks for the flash back. It was refreshing because Brandi ‘s drama gave me amnesia in regards to this group.

  23. Oh TT, you never disappoint! I’ve seen every season, every episode of RHOBH, and all 4 movies of the Hunger Games Series. Never before had I compared the two, but you are spot on in your analysis! Instead of fighting for life, the women are fighting for camera time and story lines. That does make Yolanda the clear winner for season 6, which, in addition to be the worst edited, was my least favorite season.
    I think one of my favorite episodes of all time was the Dinner Party from hell at Cammile’s house. My least favorite was when Kyle outed Kim’s alcoholism. I still don’t understand that move from a reality TV perspective.
    Interesting take on Adrienne and LVP. I never much cared for the Adrienne character, but I did think “Maloof Hoof” was a classic line on the show.
    I usually don’t care about anything these women do or are in “real life”, as I just watch the show for entertainment. However, I do think Yolanda should be outed for her deception. I’m not sure why Andy is such a fan (or at least he appeared to be on WWHL).
    So, here’s my question. If Brandi was such a good reality TV persona, and brought such drama, and is now a favorite of Yolanda (the oh so sick one who has miraculously recovered and appears to be a favorite of Andy’s) why was she fired?

    • JustJenn

      I think almost everyone refused to film with Brandi so they had to let her go. Yolanda seems to be more of a favorite of Andy now that her daughters are successful models with famous friends..just my two cents.

      • JustJenn: You’re probably right. Andy does like him some famous young beauties.

      • tamaratattles

        Brandi is one of the poors. She never fit the show. Andy does love her though. In a “Nene Leakes I love to watch her embarrass herself” sort of way. And she was married to a hot actor which is how he agreed to her in the first place.

  24. So well written, TT, informative and interesting. Yolanda and Lisa V are adversaries. What I would like to add is my opinion that Yolanda is boring and creepy–unwatchable. Lisa V’s a good show person and entertaining. I hope Bravo fires Yolanda and gives Lisa V a worthy opponent: Erika.

    • Lisamia: I know we both suffer for Yolanda Hadid Foster Hadid invisible disease with impaired brain function, but I so agree with you. Yolanda hijacked this season, and her story line is anything but entertaining.

    • Micheal

      No! I want Lisa and Erika to be friends. They are both so fabulous and have a dry snarky sense of humour – it would be so fun to watch them both have fun next season.

      I can do without Yolanda for obvious reasons and I’d prefer Eileen to get the boot over anyone else (although she did have a few tragedies which could explain why she was negative all season and annoyed me a lot, plus editing wasn’t too kind on Eileen).

      • Micheal: I agree. It was really unfortunate that Erika was brought on as Yolanda’s “friend”. I think she had LVP would have made for some interesting reality TV.

      • Erika and Lisa V = the best of freebies. :)

      • tamaratattles

        I’m going to assume frienemies was auto corrected and agree whole heartedly.

      • LOL Yes, I meant frenemies, though freebies is pretty funny.

      • tamaratattles

        I don’t see a way for Erika and LVP ever to be on the same side. UNLESS Yolanda leaves.

        But LVP is not going to let Yo run her off or vice versa. Yo just picked up another ten million or so from “her king” as a result of this show, so Yo MIGHT shuffle off and think she can start her own brand and or have her own TV show like the Kardashians which is what she always wanted.

      • Minky

        I have a feeling that Yolanda is definitely coming back. It would be stupid to pass up this show as a promotional opportunity for her book/show/whatever. If Yolanda is miraculously cured, it’s probably going to be a food as medicine/supplements/alternative medicine thing. She’s gonna wanna market the hell out of that.

        Even if Yolanda were not to return, I just don’t see LVP and Erica EVER being friendly. Only coldly polite. Erika’s too sharp to let LVP hypnotize her like a chicken, ergo LVP has no use for her. If anything Erika might go full diva and play the one-upmanship game to the hilt and expose LVP as a blowhard in the financial department.

  25. bella

    Honestly, the backstage machinations going on behind the scenes are way more interesting than the actual show. This was a fabulous post!

  26. Karina

    Brilliant recap of all the seasons! So true. The thing with lisa Rinna is just that she is an experienced actress, tv host and knows how to play roles. She’s just playing out scenes. I don’t think there is any motive based in reality behind some of her scenes on the camera. When she delivered that line to Kim, ” what is it you want and need from me” I had a flash back from her days on Melrose Place. She’s not harming anyone, she’s just playing different roles. I don’t react to her because it’s all good entertainment. The other cast members though seem driven by the history of their real lives. The background stuff that TT has recapped is certainly playing out for real. Kyle also has become A LOT wealthier due to Mauricio’s success. She’s a pretty happy camper right now but sadly has to deal with an addict family member and that’s a drain and very frustrating. I don’t th I I liked Kyle as much as I do now. Lvp- hidden agenda’s for sure, albeit delivered through rose colored glasses.

  27. I never really understood the whole social media thing these women engage in. But now I see, their social media followers are kind of like sponsors to the Hunger Games tributes.
    I am so loving this post. :-)

    • tamaratattles

      EXACTLY. They are sponsors and delusional folks who feel like they are repping their District! KILL THE OTHER BITCH! GET HER FIRED FROM HER JOB! They are insane people.

  28. Erika really gave up a prime opportunity here. How much more entertaining would she have been if she had learned how to straddle the fence between LVP and Yolanda rather than come out with guns blazing as a Yolanda Lymie follower. If there could be a take down of Yolanda next season led by Erika, I would so be willing to watch. She really is the perfect person to lead as she has no real life ties to these women (or their families) and is “wrapped in cash”.

    • tamaratattles

      You should probably read the post. You might understand why this comment is ridiculous.

      • Yes, I read the post. I’m fine with not being one of the stans.

      • I really enjoyed this post until you accused me of not reading the post. *tootsie out*

      • Minky

        Erika as a “Yolanda Lymie folower” is actually a smart move. It makes her a bit more mysterious and controversial. The viewer sees that Erika’s no dummy, but yet she still sticks by an obviously faking Yolanda. It’s intriguing. And it’s keeping her name in everybody’s mouth.

    • jen

      Erika didn’t know any of these women at all until she was hired for this job, Yolanda’s friend. Its so obvious. Just as those damn twins were hired in rhnj to be Amber’s friend/conflict. They never knew each other before taping.

  29. I could comment on this post all night, as RHOBH is the only Bravo show I watch (with the exception of Top Chef), but I know I should reign it in before TT banishes me forever from this site. I have already admitted that I’ve watched every season, every episode of RHOBH. I enjoy the show for the entertainment value (and yes, I understand by admitting that fact, that I’m joining the ranks of the reality TV crazies). I don’t understand the stances folks take: I love LVP, I hate LVP, I love Yolanda, I hate Yolanda, etc. I don’t love or hate any of these women, because I don’t know them in real life. I just wish we could watch the show and snark on what is revealed on the show or what they reveal on social media (since they choose to use social media as a platform to promote the show). I don’t care about who or what they are in real life, but it sure is fun to speculate about them based on what they choose to reveal (for money) on television.
    I really don’t put much stock in Yolanda’s comment that LVP and Mohammed haven’t spoken in 8 months. If true, then they weren’t really friends to begin with. Of course, I’m not really an objective observer, as I believe Yolanda is not to be trusted and should be outed for her deception.
    Oh, have I mentioned that I think Yolanda should be outed for her deception? :-)

  30. Lime Brain

    I’m still trying to figure out how Bravo managed to make this Munchasen discussion last an entire season.

    • tamaratattles

      Or you kidding? We have been talking about it forever. They had not choice. All they needed was someone to drop the bomb on camera. LVP could not do it, Kyle refused to do it and Rinna, who openly says she’ll do anything for a buck, was willing. It was a no Lyme Brainer! :)

  31. Non-disclosure agreement

    I changed my name for commenting purposes tonight. This is epic and any future rhobh cast member should study this post before signing the contract. Make sure they go in with knowledge. Only thing I don’t 100% agree with is the choice of hotel for Pandora’s bachelorette. Lisa is very good friends with the Earls (owner of that other hotel) and Pandora is close with their daughters as well. Robert has appeared in the past few years on various tv shows, including vanderpump rules, and seems to have been bitten by the TV bug recently. I think using PH vs palms just happened to have the added bonus of pissing off Adrienne.

    • jen

      Adrienne is such a bitch. That woman was never nice. She didn’t even smile.

      • LisaPat

        I used to think the same about Adrienne, but now after seeing LVP for what she is, I think I was too quick to judge Adrienne. I was blinded by LVP until this season. for me it started with her making fun of the lame horse and went downhill from there. I just cant believe how wrong I was about her. I have no passion for this show anymore. LVP was a big disappointment. Im wrong about so many people so often as I watch these shows. I think I know how they are in real life and Im so wrong. I feel foolish.

      • SaraSally

        I’m one of the few, but I have always liked Adrienne. Even when she had the fashion show for her shoes, that couldn’t be see because the clothing draped over & hid them on the runway. But, I digress. She won my ❤ heart the nite she tried to intervene between the sisters in the limo. She strikes me as genuinely kind & empathetic. Her quick response to the women fighting was telling. Adrienne seemed shocked that the sisters were so hateful towards each other. And that’s what sold me on Adrienne! (please …don’t pop my rainbow bubble)

      • Lime Brain

        Sara, I agree with you for the same reasons.

        Adrienne was even trying to get Kyle to walk away and leave Kim alone for the time being before Kim even left for the limo.

    • Frosty

      But I think part of the being on the show is showcasing and supporting each other’s ventures. That’s why I think Adrienne was pissed. And whatever else can be said about her, Adrienne got out of her contract rather than stay.

  32. JD

    This was very educational and spot on. Team Yolanda all the way in the war that is RHOBH. Anyone who watches this series should read this post for some context on how these relationships work.

    You event pointed out a few chess moves by Yolanda that I hadn’t really realized before…. wow.

  33. Jim

    TT, you’ve done an admirable job and put in an amazing amount of effort into breaking down all of the politics behind RHOBH!

    But for many (including me), virtually nothing will stop us from being LVP fans because of the simple reason ‘that she makes for good television.’ In this post-Breaking Bad world, the villain is the new hero. Or maybe it was always that way, i.e Dynasty, Dallas, every Soap Opera ever made. Without an awesome villain there is no conflict. Without conflict there is no drama. Without drama there is no resolution. Without out all-of-the-above, you have no audience.

    LVP may be a striving, manipulative bitch but I love her all-the-more for it! I’m not actually emotionally invested in any of the housewives lives. Just entertain me for an hour every week and make me forget the real problems in my life for a brief moment. And then let me discuss it on a forum with other passionate people who may not agree with me. :)

    • cc101

      So agree with this post! I adore LVP….and yes I do relate to some of the British stuff and don’t believe it is fake. When I tell any back home Brits that I see a therapist they look at me like I have 5 heads. However, I am under absolutely no illusions. I do not think she is perfect. I think she can be manipulative. She absolutely sucks at saying sorry when she should. I think she is a troublemaker sometimes too. Not sure what the show would be like without her though.

  34. cc101

    So I have a question about Yolanda’s first season. Maybe I need to rewatch but I remember her and LVP being friends. I feel like LVP said she didn’t tell Yo about anyone because she didn’t need to as Yo was smart (Yo was one of those who claimed not to watch before appearing on a show). At the dinner party there was all that fuss about Yolanda’s dream team and LVP was definitely on it. So were they faking or something happened between them after Yo was on the show that made them fall out? I remember at the end of that season at the reunion that the Richards sisters said that Yo had said LVP was fake (or something like that) and LVP believed Yo over them because at that time they seemed friends. Clearly Yo did say that.

    • Minky

      LVP and Yolanda appearing to be friendly during Yolanda’s first season was just a lot of festooned chicanery. Neither liked the other straight from the get-go, but they both did a pretty good job of keeping mum about it.

      And LVP didn’t prepare Yolanda because she wanted to Yolanda unprepared and to subsequently flounder. That didn’t happen. The simple fact that LVP is close friends with Yolanda’s ex-husband would lead one to assume that they wouldn’t be really tight. How many divorces are truly or completely “amicable”?

    • Frosty

      I feel like whatever convoluted history there is between those two, Yo and LVP, goes back many years. LVP’s repeated references to Mohammad and HIS children, as though Yo was just a baby shooter, is telling. Reminds me of other instances where LVP tried to let another woman know she was low on the totem pole — like Kristen on VPR when she said for years Lisa only referred to her as *girl.” Or inviting Rocio to eat wid the rich folks in Palm Springs, but seating her at the end of the table, with Giggy.

  35. JanaApril

    It’s my first comment. I read the guidelines for the site. I like Lisa Vanderpump (as a show character ) but all the accusations can’t be because of jealousy as it’s often lumped up into now by some people. The problem is that so much happens or is “strategized” off camera. So I loved reading your breakdown. This show really needs it without the constant “Vanderpump is a victim who they all are jealous of” slant to it . There are places that are so high on the Lisa Vanderpump Worshiping platform that even the bloggers get hate at any small indication of not being on her team 100% in all situations no matter how small. It makes me wonder if some of the have different opinions but just don’t find being bombarded worth it. I don’t watch the show like it’s a sport where I need to pick a team player to be loyal to no matter what the signs are pointing to otherwise. Lisa is good though, for a brief moment this season, I was all over Kyle for setting Lisa up into talking about Muhammad and then it dawned on me. This woman is too intelligent to make such a faux pas that wasn’t on purpose or had some sort of reason for it. If the TMZ report is true than I don’t blame him for not wanting to be friend with her since that is involving his children for some type of ego move on a show. She may be called The Queen my her loyal followers and worship of a reality TV show stranger. But if it’s true than it’s a big deal and I understand it. And it’s another indication of what kind of user she is where she will use friendships for her on agenda. Which is what Rinna and all the ones before have been saying in a round about way. They all can’t be seething jealous maniacs. I could discuss this all night, just wanted to tell you that I loved reading this and plan to be back for your reunion recap since you at least try to be objective with the information that has to be pieced together.

    • janet

      I dont feel the least bit jealious of LVP. Maybe some are like Brandi, but to me shes dated looking, I would hate running restaurants and her marriage lacks passion. Her and her husband seem narcassistic and insensitive so theyre a match there. To me the ones who have it all are Joyce (who’s not there any more) and Kyle. They have husbands that they have passion with, a family life, and they dont have to work. I think LVP makes biting remarks at times because shes the one who is jealious. That’s why she made the cheating comment right in front of Portia, and why she grilled Eilern about how she got together with Vincent.

      • JanaApril

        I know what you mean but there are people who will say that the others on the show are jealous of Lisa Vanderpump at every turn or if the others start pointing out stuff about her . I think they have marriages and lives that work for them or that have worked for them individually (to a point anyway). Kyle on the surface is lucky that she’s off the grid so to speak but some like to have careers outside a husband and kids like Eileen and Rinna.
        And I really don’t think Brandi was jealous of Lisa’s life either, at least not in the beginning. But I get why she’s a good example since she wasn’t as socially and financially secure. But I thought she was more jealous of Kyle and really jealous of Joyce but not Lisa’s marriage etc. Brandi, seem to admire Lisa at first. If they are jealous of anything I think it’s because she’s popular with the audience as a favorite and they keep trying to expose her to no avail lol

      • Hibs

        No way!!!! Every time Mauricio says “honey I’m home” I feel like it’s a bad episode of the Brady Bunch. Kyle and Mauricio are definitely putting on an act for the cameras.
        Mauricio is one of the smartest people on the show, he uses it to project an image of his perfectly successful life. Every single scene with him was aimed at pitching something he is selling. Whether it was how charitable he is or how he can score the best rentals in the Hamptons at the drop of a hat.
        Kyle is no friend of LVP. She totally used the Hamptons gig as a way to advertise her husbands business.

  36. iloveearlgrey

    If I had to choose between the two, I’d choose LVP. However, neither Yolanda nor LVP are my favs. Never have been, never will be.

    I would love it if it were really Kyle behind the scenes pulling strings, but alas, I know that’s not so.

  37. Is it weird that I agree with almost all of this and still think LVP is the shit? Though my favorite Mean Girl was Regina George, so….. ??? No, it’s just Yolanda is painfully annoying and I’m gonna wave pompoms (& wear swan dresses) for any opposing force. Her sidedoor work this season, however…sloppy. LOL I expect better from Regina… Um, I mean…Lisa.

  38. Mind BLOWN. Thank you for writing this!

  39. Kmc

    The synopsis was a good recap. Watching RHOBH has made me wonder why with all the riches and influencing friends. Why would you become greedier, using other people to get what you want, then backstabbing them? Manipulation is as evil and dangerous as it becomes a weapon that will eat away at you just to bring someone down, then sit back and enjoy what you did. It’s an addiction that makes you thirst for more . This us Lisa Vp. No mercy for this woman who can lie straight to your face. It’s mentioned that Kyle, the two Lisa’s and Yolanda knew about Munchausen. So what’s the big deal who said it. It is a game, no denying that, but it’s a sick f****** gane. No one wins because they are all liars. Erika Jayne is a smart say lady. No hesitation that she saw what she was dealing with when she met Lisa VP. For anyone on the Bravo team and production to gang up on her all of you deserve the worst Karma. I saw what all of you did to Taylor my god the woman was having a break down. The constant keeping up with the jonses. Full of crap! They beat up on her and Camille, oh and Kim, didn’t have a shield to guard her. All of these bitches the two Lisa’s, and Kyle they deserve each other. How can their husbands stand them No matter what Kyle wears, she looks fat she’s bald legged, and short. No i’m just pointing out they say short people have mental block that they are better, stronger and taller than you.They strive for domination Kim fits the part . Her body language is crystal clear. So we do know what wer’-e talking aboiut, we are the viewers . I thought I would continue watching RHOBH I pass. Same story line same old shit. Who lives like that!

  40. Denise

    I agree with you that the real war us between Yolanda and Lisa. I have felt something lingering beneath the surface since Yolanda started. Her comment around “Hollywood friends” was always directed at Lisa.

    • Frosty

      Agree. Would love to know actually how Yolanda came to be on the show – I presume, perhaps mistakenly, that Mohammad had something to do with it.

      • Sweet T

        I always wondered too. I thought maybe Yolanda pitched herself. Since David foster was attached to Yolanda, bravo benefits with a famous person. Then Yolanda gets to have her health tv show and show up lvp.

        Unless Kyle suggested it as she is a producer. Then iloveearlgrey is right and Kyle is behind everything.

  41. Jess

    Thank you!!!
    It’s too bad that the zombie-troll-swan-llama people don’t see this.
    I suppose people just tend to blindly follow other people … huh, even Hitler had followers.

  42. Barbara

    Good recap. I’ve watched since the beginning and you really nailed all the nuances. To me, this show is entertaining and I don’t get overly invested. I rarely comment but have been more supportive of LVP because she is the only one I can relate to, being over 50. Ive thought the game was like Survivor, with shifting alliances, blindsides, role playing, etc. But maybe Hunger Games is more accurate. The one obvious (to me anyway) point in why Kyle backed LVP is that no way could she back Rinna and simultaneously try to reconcile with her Kim.. It’s one thing to go to lunch or dinner with Rinna for the show, but to openly side with her, back her up or otherwise defend her would not make sense big picture. Kyle’s choice was a no brainier, stick with LVP or Rinna. Nothing to do with kissing LVP rear at all.

  43. cherise

    Great post TT !! No sure what season it was but remember when LVP brought Mohammed’s fiance to look at rings- I think LVP has been wanting her to replace Yolanda and think this is just another reason LVP and Yolanda are at war!
    I don’t dislike Rinna yet her instagram posts were a bit nasty about all haters are fat and have 50 cats ! Also it is virtually impossible for two of Yolanda children to also have Lyme – you are right on target about the pre-nup and menopause. I think this was one of the worst seasons ever ! Have a great day it’s my birthday and I am off to a massage and facial!

  44. jen

    Nailed it!!

    Yes I have watched all of it! Some of the beginning seasons were crazy! I forgot about a lot. Makes this season even lamer!

  45. jen

    I remember when Yolanda had Gigi’s high school.graduation party at Mohammed’s and LVP was there. She did seem to honestly care for Gigi. Yolanda then tells her to only take a bite of her graduation cake because it will make her fat…on tv I swears she said that to her 17 year old daughter. The whole party was rather awkward and I recall thinking wow she is really trying to seel us that she is super bff with her ex…I wonder what the real story is. Anyway, just something I remembered

  46. Swede

    Excellent post! I have watched from day 1 and forgotten some of this. It is crystal clear that LVP and Yolanda indeed hate each other and its a fight to the bitter end. The nuances you pointed out are spot on.

  47. I don’t always agree with your opinions but thank you for this! I really appreciate that you expose who Lisa Vanderpump so clearly is. It’s scary how obsessed her fans are with her, how they defend her to the end of the earth whilst saying the most hateful things about any other wife who dares to cross her such as Eileen, Rinna, and Brandi.

    As a viewer it’s quite frustrating that Vanderpump manages to get away with so much just because she’s a fan favourite. As you’ve pointed out she’s been doing her subtle manipulations for years, from leaking stories about Taylor to trying to ruin Adrienne’s shoe line with her ‘Maloof hoof’ stab that she tried to play off as a harmless joke when it was anything but.

    Also, I’m no Yolanda stan but I will say that I don’t think she’s as manipulative as Vanderpump is. I do believe that they dislike each other and try to do things to get at each other but I feel more of it is from Vanderpump’s end. I find Vanderpump to be SO image obsessed, like Eileen said about her unable to be anything but the ‘perfect image’. (I have some fresh LVP tea actually I’ll DM you later). I don’t think Yolanda is as bad as she has some other interests and passions outside of JUST the snow. Vanderpump’s entire life revolves around this show and every relationship she has is strategic. I feel bad for people like Brandi, Rinna, Eileen etc who later find out that it was never genuine and they were just being used by Vanderpump for a TV show. She reels you in with her charisma and star power then tosses you aside like trash once she’s done. Kathryn will be her next victim.

    By the way, like you I was originally a Vanderpump fan but I took Brandi’s side season four and believed her that Vanderpump was behind the tabloids in the suitcase thing. Kyle knows this of course but is also obsessed with the show and doesn’t want the hatred from Lisas fans for going against the so called queen of RHOBH so she is willing to sweep everything under the rug and continue with the fake alliance friendship she and Vanderpump have all while desperately trying to subtly bring Vanderpump down the whole time. Sadly she is neither as smart nor charismatic as Vanderpump is and has no star quality so she will never dethrone LVP. One main reason Vanderpump gets away with so much is ravenous the fan support behind her, it gives her half her power. Kyle will never have that so she will never be top dog.

    On another note, poor Rinna. She did dig her own grave from her own thirst so I can’t feel too sorry for her unlike innocent amazing Eileen who has been so unfairly bashed and abused by Vanderpump’s disgusting fans who are too thick to understand the real reason Eileen is upset with her, but Rinna is about to have a storyline come season seven all about her mental state. There’s some truth to it I think, Brandi said since season five “I can’t wait for the truth about Rinna to come out because that bitch is crazy and you can’t keep that hidden forever it’s going to come out” and anybody with a sharp eye like you and I Tamara have already seen Vanderpump planting the seeds for the future Rinna is bipolar storyline. Watch Vanderpump next season get on her high horse and feign concern over Rinna’s mental health. Vanderpump will literally turn this woman into the second Kelly Bensimon.

    • Sweet T

      Yes everyone keeps planting ideas of bipolar which is sad because mental health issues are a real thing. Tossing them into conversation like its nothing only hurts everyone. But rinna is a people pleaser who puts her own feelings aside to get people to like her. Then she can’t take suppressing herself anymore and lashes out. Her feelings are confusing to her because she doesn’t know how to express them at first. That is not what bipolar is and we all do that at some time. Isn’t that why married couples fight? Because they compromise too much and then get pissed about picking socks up off the floor.

      • Hibs

        I honestly don’t get the Rinna is a “people-pleaser” lines. A people pleaser would have tried to brush over what happened with Kim and a people pleaser wouldn’t be so adamant about exposing every single “lie”.

      • Sweet T

        Ok then maybe not people pleaser but a conflict avoider who then causes conflict when her hidden frustrations come to the surface. Her label isn’t the part I’m focusing on. It’s mainly her hiding her feelings and then the explosion afterward.

  48. joanne

    LVP “brings in camel, and circus performers and snake charmers desperately trying to stand out among the group.” I can only imagine how much work, not to mention $$$s, it takes to be so pretentious.

  49. KAM

    TT I absolutely loved this!!! Do you think you could do one for RHOA??? Over the years, there have been many alliances and takedowns that need to be put on blast! ☺

  50. Bella

    I’ve been coming to this website for tea for 2+ years now. I don’t comment often, but I read your posts & recaps religiously and because of that, I thought I was one of the savvy ones. I thought I knew the jig on these shows. I know these woman are mostly coworkers…and I knew that Yolanda and Lisa didn’t care for each other. But reading this literally blew my mind and I now realize I didn’t get any of it. I never made the connection that the war has been between Lisa & Yolanda this entire time but of course now that you’ve pointed it out and explained the machinations behind it, this makes perfect sense. I really think you should consider do an Abridged History series on all of the longstanding RH franchises because this is really one of the most fascinating things I’ve ever read…

  51. microop

    I just can’t with LVP right now. I don’t even care about the manipulation, just her blogs are soo nasty and so below the belt and classless, for that reason I’m not a fan.

  52. Frosty

    This is the best post I’ve read about any housewives, ever. Thank you TT for putting the cards on the table! No doubt they are both horrid, but if I had to choose, I’d be team Yolanda, despite the Lymenhausen. Partially in reaction to LVP’s evident nastiness across both RHOBH and VPR, and I can’t stand the way LVP fanatics attacking posters who don’t agree with them. They’re like the red tide of numerous comment sections. I like the other players and hope they’ll all return.

  53. Normalg

    I agree with everything in this blog. But if Muhammad thought Yolanda was a gold digging person who somehow got the pre nup overturned because of a supposed broken back, why did he hand her off to his friend David Foster? I do remember him saying he introduced the two

    • microop

      If he was paying alimony this helps him get out of it. Also I believe David saw a picture of her and asked to be introduced.

  54. imagrandma2

    Manipulation tactics ran rampant this season because no self-respecting ‘Housewife’ wants to appear unfair, unreasonable or deceptive.

    Thought process:
    So, if I can get you to believe that you made a rash or unfair judgment of me or my actions, I can easily get you to back off or back down in your confrontation.  I might even get you to question your assessment of me.  Even if I am a monster, if I can make you think you’ve unfairly cast me as a monster, you’ll probably get to wondering if you’re not the monster yourself.

  55. eastjames

    Little late to the party here….T, awesome timeline, flawless assessment. I know this stuff is important and needs to be talked about, but I feel there is a bigger issue at hand that needs to be discussed- why aren’t we talking about how hot Kathryn’s husband is? Am I alone here?

  56. PaganChick

    Personally, I love Lisa Rinna and Lisa Vanderpump. I like Eileen because KRISTIN (I hate that daytime soaps are going away – because Eileen is AWESOME as a daytime soap character) – but I do find her boring as a reality personality. I still like Eileen, but I don’t see a lot of stuff happening with her – she is too normal to be on a reality show, for me. The second she said that she loved therapy and didn’t understand why everyone was against therapy, I knew she was not cut out to be on an Andy Cohen reality show.

    One of the things I love about Lisa Rinna is that she has always been such an unabashed fan of the House Wives shows. I hate that she is getting backlash on social media because of her stance.I feel like she is a fan of the show, who happens to have a famous husband, and suddenly her involvement makes people be ridiculously rude and inappropriate to her on social media. That is just not right.

    It makes me wonder about the whole “Harry would divorce me if I did the show” thing she gave interviews about. Because, I love Harry and Lisa together and I don’t want something as stupid as this show to cause problems in their lives.

    TT, I have had a good bit to drink (Paid my taxes and we didn’t break the bank so it was party time up in here!), so hopefully, I am making sense when I say this and won’t get banished:

    I don’t want any of the BH housewives to be fired. I want to see Eileen and Lisa Rinna back. I want to see Lisa VanderPump back. I especially want to see Kyle back. I am not sure about Kathryn and Ericka because I found them both to be fairly boring, but the second season is when you really get to know the housewife – so bring them back too. The only person I wouldn’t want to see back would be Yolanda, but she seems to be on a tour about moving on, so I am kind of curious about how she is going to spin her recovery.

    Sorry, I am more than a little buzz, so I will just say, thank you for this post. It has been a long time since I had the chance to talk in detail about the women who are currently on the show. Also, Kyle is the show. No matter how we get derailed into talking about the Lisas or any of the new housewives, the show always seems to grow from Kyle.

  57. Rose

    Dang TT, I’ve watched every season and this is so on point! Excellent post.

  58. tripleOGpearl

    I have watched every episode of every franchise. This is the most accurate summation I have ever read.

    So, the question really comes down to who will prevail? Who wins the chess game? Yo or LVP? My guess is LVP. But I will say this. Eileen has been highly underestimated and could have been the one to take LVP down. Until she was questioned about how her marriage started she was very observant, even tempered, with a critical yet diplomatic eye. She could have called LVP’s manipulative bluff with receipts because it wouldn’t have felt like it came with an ulterior motive . Yo’s problem is that she was too emotionally invested to completely pull off bringing LVP down to be the Queen Bee.

    Either way, this was a great character study. The wealthy adult version of The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds. I think that was the name of that series where they filmed pre-schoolers over a school semester. Fascinating to say the least.

  59. Xanadude

    I was still giving Pinky the benefit of the doubt up until her last Bravoblog. Now, unfortunately, my opinion of her is on par with the rest of the ladies (excepting Kim/Brandy/Yolanda, who are on permanent mute, and Erika Jayne who just annoys me for some reason) – they all are VERY adept at taking the minutia of their lives, conflating into an apocalyptic scenario, and then pretending to wonder why everyone else made a big fuss over it.

    Its a game to the proverbial death of musical chairs, with producers holding the record needle over a copy of Bohemian Rhapsody (and kudos for you if you get that reference. CLEARly y’all are GOING to get it.)

    Through it all, the true manipulator, Yolanda, gets away scot free from her castmates, who are afraid of any backlash they may get for questioning the motives of a “sick” woman.

  60. Sweet T

    RHOBH is the only housewives show where I keep rewatching the previous seasons to gain a better understanding of the characters. First to see if Kyle and Kim were giving Camille the villain edit, to see how much Kim is drinking, to see if lvp and then Yolanda are manipulating Brandi, to watch Yolanda’s health deteriorate and now to see lvp and Yolanda manipulate everyone. And I love every minute of it. This series is fascinating to me. Thank god I don’t have to deal with any of these people in real life.

    Lvp and Yolanda’s talk on the couch was revealing to me. Yolanda says she met lvp as Mohammed’s friend and she should be Mohammed friend first. Lvp said she tries to see things objectively. It was a secret conversation that sounded like they were trying to not really apologize but to come to a stalemate. Both of their reputations were being ruined by their fight and too many people are catching on for them to continue at this pace.

    Imagine if they were “friends” next season. They would win back their reputations because if they are friends then none of this seasons revealed secrets would be true. Then Lisa rinna’ head would explode and all the other cast members would be confused.

  61. Sweet T

    I also look forward to the lvp vs Erika battle or the lvp and Erika friendship that is coming next season. I think lvp admires Erika in some ways as she is wearing a dress at the reunion that looks like the dress in erikas talking heads.

    I also want to say how much I loved erikas hairdo when she is talking to Yolanda about Dubai. The braids on the side are something I will copy.

  62. Rach

    This has got to be the best post written about anything ever.

  63. Naike

    ♥ THIS ♥

  64. Jane

    What I like about lvp is that she has fun and she is the master of the velvet glove. It’s ridiculous to think a LA restauranteur doesn’t have brass knuckles under those gloves. Yolanda, sick or otherwise, is Debbie Downer. I don’t ever recall her having a good laugh and the endless sick stuff probably spells the end of RH shows for me. Lisa R can let her emotions get away from her, but she always gets a pass from me after that scary limo ride with Kim. Scared me witless! I was disappointed in Eileen letting the story be about the apology. It was so much fun to watch the purse scene with Kathryn and I would have liked more of that. I have to turn on the Disney channel when Donny is on because of my impure thoughts. Mmhmm.

  65. KaraW

    Does anyone else remember the dueling party-planning scenes of Kyle and Taylor planning their children’s birthday parties? My favorite editing ever! That was the first time I “got it” about these shows and how production works.

    RHOBH remains one of my favorites and it’s so much better with additions of Rinna and Erika. I’d like to see more of them with their husbands going forward. For Lisa because she cracks me up with the Hamlin part, and for Erika because I still can’t figure their relationship out. I can’t get enough of either of them.

  66. Josie

    TMZ caught Mo coming out of a restaurant and he said that he and LVP will always be friends and what they reported on their site was not true. This was on the TMZ show but I cant find it online.

    I thought Carlton was team Brandi. They were making out the season when magazine gate happened and hot for each other. Yet Joyce, Carlton and Yolanda said that LV did not ask Brandi to bring the magazines and Brandi lied. I also noticed that ever since Brandi has been gone from BH there have been no leaks.

    This was also the season when Yolanda said Ken hit her. To me Yo has always hated LV because of her friendship with Mo because she was jealous of her. I think LV started disliking Yo when she said Ken hit her.

  67. RealityBites

    Ah yes, LVP has been jockeying for position since the very beginning, which is why I like to watch her. She’s good entertainment, so shrewd and cunning. I really disliked when she played the victim, because that wasn’t the character I so enjoyed watching. I never liked Yolanda much, even though I view her much in the same way I view LVP. Not sure why, but she just seemed uninteresting to me. And this whole Munchhausen thing was very tiring to me. It just felt very staged, and so behind the fourth wall. But I like Erika Jayne, and I think her introduction to the group will play nicely into the following seasons. I think she can change all these dynamics with an effortless flick of the wrist if she chooses to…she’s a natural queen, and I think people will follow her if she wants them to. LVP might just get a run for her money. As for Rinna and Eileen. I think they are just naive…I feel like they thought they would get different editing.

  68. Jaimie

    But will production have Eileen and Rinna back? Kathryn has run her course n provided the OJ bit of drama. I read Camille may come back next season. Eileen will probably have some pull with production but who knows and LVPs last blog looked like she’s done. What’s the dynamic for S7?!

  69. Josie

    Why did Kyle say the first time it was brought up was at LV’s house when she had already heard it before from Rinna at dinner before they brought it to LV? Was Kyle and Rinna setting up LV?

    There were many texts going back and forth between Rinna and Kyle. Is that why LV said I thought you were going to bring her into it (quizically or with a whew… because neither LV or Kyle wanted a part of it)?

    Is that why Kyle was so quick to forgive because she knew that to explain would mean that LV would have to say the reason she made the comment was because Kyle had many convos with Rinna so she thought she would bring Kyle into it. I just think there is more to come….JMHO.

  70. Jaana

    Yolanda came in and stole Brandi away from Lisa. All it took was Yolanda buying Brandi some expensive shoes. Yolanda saw that Brandi was the perfect attack dog, not too smart but will do anything for you as long as its kept on a leash. Why do you think she brushed off Brandi’s comments about Bella being an alcoholic? She couldn’t care less what Brandi thinks about anything, as long as Brandi does what she Yolanda wants her to do.

  71. Cat

    Brilliant post. That is all. :)

  72. Shae

    The official RHOBH cliff’s notes. Awesome…well done.

  73. OleSambina

    I’ve never commented before but I come to this site everyday with my morning coffee and I couldn’t help myself this time. I’ve read this particular blog several times now and I truly think you’ve probably nailed it. TT you have outdone yourself!! I try to stalk out all the theories and draw my own conclusions most of the time and you are always the one who usually confirms my theory or opens my eyes to things I wouldn’t usually notice. PLEASE do this for all the Housewives series! I know that is probably quite a haul but if nothing else RHONJ!! Either way I’ll keep reading and don’t let anyone try to tell you how to run your blog. This and you are perfection!!!

    • tamaratattles

      Thanks Ole. It’s not quite the same type thing for the other franchises. They are all sniping at each other behind the scenes (or on social media) but things are more obvious.

  74. Jchang

    I take my dog to the vet for ear infections and teeth cleanings and a couple of surgeries. My friend thinks I have Münchhausen by Proxy. Wait… What mean wig?

  75. Brentjohn

    One of the first scenes that stand out to me that exposes the LVP vs. Yo, was Yo’s tile-painting party for Gigi’s new NY appt that LVP failed to attend. If I remember right, LVP called Yo to cancel at the last minute because of a work meeting. The result: Yo was FURIOUS with LVP and kept going on and on about it. It seemed at the time to be a gross overreaction on Yo’s part, but It became clear there was a deeper “slight” than just LVP not attending. Obviously, when RHW’s don’t show up and film at other housewive’s events, they’re in fact denying them a storyline or implying they’re not relevant. Or in Yo’s case, it was also truly a STUPID attempt for a story line. Anyway, it’s not the first or the last time, LVP, and others, have used non-attendance as a weapon. Remember Kim’s daughter’s Graduation Party and how pissed she was that LVP didn’t attend. Bullseye LVP, bullseye!

  76. Holly

    Umm. You misremembered something. Game night was not about Brandi attacking it was her being ganged up on by the Richards sisters. “Slut Pig!” They also stole her crutches.

    • Lynn

      I was thinking the same thing! That event forever changed my view of Kyle as just another mean girl. That said, this TT post was BRILLIANT in all that it did recall and piece together!

  77. I started watching RHOBH after Vanderpump Rules premiered. I read this post and thought, “Eh…”. But then I went on a binge and have watched season one to the middle of season three, thus far. I see what you’re saying. Finally. I still love all the ladies, but I am much more in the know now. Great site you’ve got here, Tamara.

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