Southern Charm Recap: Miss Domesticated

Souther Charm Bourbon all cast

 

I love Cameran’s  narration of the previous episode, ” Thomas proves not every southern man thinks it’s sweeter to wrap his peter!”  And finally we get the theme song we have been missing.

Cameran’s house is amazing. Is this a new house?  It’s been so long between season’s I’m not sure if it’s a new house, or my Lymenopause just makes everything seem new over and over and over. Either way, cute house.  Cameran is going to throw her first dinner party.

I think it is going to be another pick on Kathryn season. Because they are idiots.  I thought Thomas sold the plantation. Yet, here we are enjoying it for another season.  Thomas doesn’t seem to think he should support his kid until there is a court order. Then he says he is paying Kathryn $2,500 a month. I don’t like Kathryn’s friend, Jennifer. I mean she is fine, but I’d like to see her with someone else.

I go back and forth on Landon. Landon’s Bravo check has allowed her to rent a place and she is no longer a homeless person living on a boat. Shep stops by her house and they paint little canvases like Yolanda Foster. I’m much more enamored with her when she flirts with Shep than when she has goo goo eyes for Thomas.

Out in West Ashley, Craig is Facetiming his parents. #NewCraig needs a J O B.  Craig has decided to into business with JD. He has a “hospitality group.”

Cameran goes to visit Patty. Patty has an intern a la Sonja Morgan. Slavery is alive and well by the Yankee poseurs in Charleston. She is there to invite Patty to her dinner party and get some advice from her. Cameran wants to do a crock pot thing. Um, noe dear. Patty is going to loan her the butler and suggests a caterer. Neither Thomas or Kathryn are invited.

Southern Charm Shep

 

Shep has more money and women than sense at this point. Craig is trying to grow up, but Shep doesn’t seem interested in anything of the sort. My God, Shep still does shots of Goldschlager. That is something you outgrow as an undergraduate.  I keep imagining all the old ladies in the nursing home in forty years with stupid sayings tattooed on their forearms.

The triumvirate of Malevolence: Whitney, Patty and Thomas meet at a French restaurant. I’m going to assume it is to talk about Kathryn. And of course that is just what they do. They really don’t have a storyline without her.

Kaathryn is out looking for a place to live off her Bravo check. Apparently, Patty is having a Flamingo party, or perhaps a Flamenco party. Either way, it sounds dreadful. Kathryn is butthurt for not being invited. Why would she want to be around Patty, who clearly hates her for being young, beautiful and trying to tie down her son’s object of desire.

Suzanne is back to teach Cameran how to cook a dinner. Apparently, Cameran doesn’t even have decent salt and pepper. Cameran is unpacking wedding presents to cook in. She’s been married for two years. She forgets about her meat, that was supposed to be cooked to 125 degrees. She pushes the meat thermometer all the way in and it registers 165.  She may have actually hit the bottom of the pan with the thermometer so there is still hope. For whatever reason, she desperately wants to impress the yankee woman. Who arrives first with the butler. Cameran had no idea that butler’s actually go to school to learn their craft.

As Craig and the new chick get ready for dinner at Cameran’s, Kathryn pops in. I have a feeling they are going to bring her with them and Whitney will show up with Thomas. Because, storyline.  Kathryn tells Craig she found a home in I’on that she likes because it is a good starter home. You know if your starter home costs a million dollars.  You might could get in that community for $600-700K on the low end. Kathryn’s feelings are hurt but they don’t invite her along. I’m going to hate this season if they alienate Kathryn all season. She is the one that brings the ratings.

For the record it is extremely rude to bring a butler to make you martini’s at someone else’s home. Especially if you don’t bring enough for everyone.  Michael carves the meat and it looks perfectly cooked.  Patty of course wants a well done piece. Whitney tries to pretend he is going to marry a female sometime in the near future. Patty regales us with stories of how quickly she married her husbands. She fails to mention that she married Arthur in two weeks because he was 76 and she thought he had one foot in the grave. He died six long years (for her) later. I suppose it was time well served.

Craig asks about Kathryn and Thomas not being invited. Patty goes on and on about how Kathryn is full of drama. Sadly, Cameran is up Patty’s asscrack this season.

Next week: MOTS. Except Thomas and Kathryn go to Aiken for polo. This is where they made the second baby.

P.S. I’ve handed off the RHOD recapping to the interns. It will be up by tomorrow.

43 Comments

Filed under Entertainment News, Southern Charm

43 responses to “Southern Charm Recap: Miss Domesticated

  1. Jim

    “Apparently, Patty is having a Flamingo party, or perhaps a Flamenco party.”

    Face it TT, it’s time to start using the close captioning. There no shame in it! I’m 51 and have been using it for years.

    My partner is too lazy to read the CC so he’s always interrupting with “what did she just say?” which annoys the crap out of me. And then I remember that he’ll fall asleep in 5 minutes and ignore him, lol.

    • tamaratattles

      Darling, they all said FLAMINGO. I was hoping it was simply because they don’t know how to pronounce Flamenco. I was trying to give the Yankee the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise I expect to see bright pink plastic birds on her lawn….

      And CC is just some person trying to make sense of the same thing I can hear with my two good ears. Of all the shit that is falling apart, my hearing is not one. My eyes however would probably prohibit the reading of the CC. :)

      • Dee

        Great one Tamara! I can’t see partner can’t hear. Good team we are lol
        Thanks for the great tea!

      • Cat

        Sounds like Jim is going through menopause. Very critical and cranky.

        Every time I see his name, I wonder if it’s the Jim from RHONJ.

      • agills

        I missed the part where Jennifer and Kathryn were talking. What did they say about Jennifer’s past with Thomas and how she knew how he manipulates? I missed parts of that convo!

      • tamaratattles

        Jennifer fucked Thomas because she says Thomas said he wasn’t with Kathryn. Jennifer is an idiot and the cast is jealous of Kathryn. I’m gonna guess she gets paid a lot more than they do. BECAUSE HALF OF THEM ARE YANKEES!

      • Jim

        Oh I wasn’t meaning to sound cranky! I was just giving TT some good-natured grief. I think she understood.

        But yes, if there is such a thing as male menopause, I’m deep in it! I was on testosterone cream for about a year and felt freaking fantastic, like I was 30 again. But then all of those ads started with lawyers asking “have you or a loved suffered a heart attack while using testosterone cream”. And it scared the crap out of me.

      • Meri

        Memories! For my 60th birthday my kids got me flamingos for my yard. I woke up to SIXTY of them all over the place and of course, the entire neighborhood knew that I had turned the big 60. I kept one in a box that came as a freebie…the rest were picked up in the dead of the night just like they distributed the birthday surprise. But I digress…great recap. I love the show and can’t stand Landon. I don’t trust her. I have mixed feelings about Katherine and although I used to be in love with Thomas…no more. He is out of shape and out of sorts and not very likable or sexy and cute anymore. Too much booze I suspect. The roast looked good at Cameron’s dinner party and the house was gorgeous. She is married to a doctor so maybe they can afford a gorgeous home . without the Bravo paycheck? Patricia is a funny lady who is a snob but I like her anyway. I still love Shep and was Craig putting on make-up? RHOD was boring so I turned it off after ten minutes. I was glad to hear “Honeybee again. It gives one the feeling of going back in time to a gentler era.

      • Matzah60

        If you ever come down to southern NJ, I will escort you on a guided tour of front lawns laden with ugly flamingos as decoration. Of course, I know few people who have a desire to visit this pathetic state, let alone live in it. I was dragged here by my ex. After all these years, it still feels like Mayberry, but it’s home and change isn’t one of my strong points.

    • BKSweetheart

      Funny my husband and I watch everything with the CC on. Don’t really know why. But now it’s like a habit. I always have to have it on.

      • hannahkingrose

        Me too BKSweetheart. I cut the volume down on the television because my hubby has to get up early and I have insomnia. Sometimes it’s like a 6 year old is doing the transcribing for CC with all the typos. So just because you have the CC on doesn’t mean you always know exactly what is said. It’s kinda like when you’re commenting in here and it decides what you were really trying to say and changes the words instead of what you really meant.

    • jen

      They said flamingo.

  2. B BELL

    You nailed it all! Perfect recap!!

  3. Toddy

    I think Patricia gifted Cameran w/the butler as bartender for the evening. I’m not too crazy about Jennifer, either. I think she’d throw Kathryn under the bus in a heartbeat, if the cool kids would give her the time of day. Shep looks healthier than at the reunion, which makes me happy. I love his scenes with Cameran.

  4. LuLu

    Tonight reminded me of RHONY back when Jill & co refused to do scenes with Bethenny. Can’t help but wonder if the cast is trying to push Kathryn out by not filming with her. If so that’s a bad look considering she is the breakout star of the show. Heck without her, who is gonna carry the show? Landon? Chile please.

  5. Heidi

    Did you all see Shep on WWHL? The bartender made a comment that he seems to have NOT appreciated, and he has a sour puss on his face for the rest of the episode. It looks like he wants to punch someone.

    • tamaratattles

      I did not see that, but I recapped it, yes.

      • Heidi

        I think it was when the bartender said he needed a shot of penicillin. Shep and Andy were trying badly to whisper to each other so the cameras wouldn’t get it, but Shep looked beyond annoyed. Going to rewatch it tonight. Because I don’t have a life 😉

  6. Ruthie

    I so love this show! I do wish Landon was replaced though. Her whiny voice grates on my nerves.

  7. Wait, what? It’s extremely rude to pay a professional to help your friend with her dinner party? I don’t think so.

    He wasn’t there just mixing drinks for Patricia and Patricia only. (That would be rude.) He did all of Cameran’s work for her – he carved the roast, dished up and placed the food, provided service at table (refilling glasses, clearing dishes), and washed the dishes.

    If a friend arranging for me to be waited on on my own home is rude, I wish my friends would be rude to me like that!

    • tamaratattles

      Darling, you clearly don’t get it. He carries around her drinks to make for her wherever she goes. TACKY. Lush. Cunt Satchel.

      He sliced some prime rib because he has a contract now. #TACKY #TheHelp #YankeeSlaveryByBravo

  8. Can they refuse to film with other cast members? Seems to me more likely that production is setting up most of the drama.

  9. Does anyone think the script seems incredibly fake this year? I’m just confused by the constant bickering but then you see them in photos together. Also, Cameran’s house was purchased by her husband in 2013. In the last seasons they would show snippits of a different house but the interior shots are her real house.

  10. Navymommy

    Dear TT, your triumvirate of Malevolence is perfect! It warms my own dark, bitter heart. However, I must disagree on the use of Michael. Ol’ PA offered up his services as bartender when Cameran asked PA for advice on hosting her first dinner party. Not only was it a no-brainer for Cam to accept, but it was also like taking a class on hosting etiquette. I am sure there was plenty of martini fixin’s for all who attended. I enjoy the Michael scenes even if I have to suffer through it with that golddigging carpetbagger.

  11. Puddy

    It is horrible the way “the girls” – aka Cameron, Landon, Patty and Baby Whitney – are bad mouthing and ostracizing Kathryn. They should all be wearing bitter envy green. And (she literally is starting to look like a “mummy”) Patty says she only wants “pretty people” at her Flamingo party? When their behaviour, except for Craig’s, is so ugly? Kathryn is a natural star and that just drives exec producer (he adores his mummy) Baby Whitney crazy, just as it does –marry them fast for cash– Patty – who Baby Whitney had slated to be ” the grande dame”. However, Patty was totally eclipsed by Kathryn.. who may not have Patty’s money, but who has much more class – and yes– the blood of two historic and prominent South Carolina families flowing in her veins. All I could think of when Playpal Patty came in with her super large martini bag was “Carpetbagger!”

  12. jen

    Oh I love Kathryn.

  13. Cheychey

    I really like Cameron but if she is gonna be canoodling with Patty this season that might change my feelings for her. Hopefully Patty won’t rub off on her. I did hear Katherine say Thomas had given her 2 checks the last 2 months. If they were for the $2500 that he said he was paying than certainly she should be able to take care of her kids with that if he continues to but she also needs to put on her big girl panties and get a job like all the other single moms. She really can’t depend on him. With her job and child support she can do just fine all by herself she doesn’t need that idiot. I’m glad to see her getting her own place and acting more responsible. She is way to pretty and has to much potential to be tied down to that tired old drunk.

  14. Her job is reality tv. Which is a million times easier than a job in reality.

  15. JoJoFLL

    Kathryn hit the nail on the head when she said Patricia hates her because she was born into her station in life while Patricia had to keep marrying into hers. It’s very obvious Patricia is jealous.

    It’s not a good look for Patricia.

  16. T D

    Looka like an ugly clothes contest. They re all winners. Are they wearing She by Sheree? Are there no mirrors, mirrors, on the wall? They’d look better nekked and afraid. Their wardrobe scares the daylights outta me.

  17. Patty Altschul is my favorite cartoon villain!

  18. Margarett

    I just love this show, and I love your recaps. I go back and forth about Kathryn. It’s disappointing to see her continuing to have a relationship with Mr. Ravnel..having a bridge named for his family just isn’t enough.

    Shep just makes me happy whenever he’s on. The carpetbagger and her creepy son just need to go back to Yankee country. I guess they’d fit in there if anywhere. (Patricia and I can’t think of his name…sorry.)

    Anyway, thanks for another fun recap!

  19. Bella

    Thomas Ravenel is the Jax of the South.

  20. Shae

    I finally got around to watching it on my dvr, so much tv to catch up on! I was trying to figure out all episode if they were saying “flamenco” or “flamingo”, both seemed bizarre to me. I guess it’s flamingo? Cameran must’ve gauged the meat wrong because meat cooked to 165 before resting would’ve ALL been well done lol. Very surprised any well to do person takes their beef well done…what a waste, patricia.

    I generally do not like Kathryn at all, but I also do think it’s unfair how the cast treats her and it’s disgusting how Thomas behaves towards her. She may be a little off, and rude, and obnoxious, but she’s also decades younger than him and quite a bit younger than the rest of the cast. We were not all bastions of maturity and good decisions at 21/22. I do question her having two kids with this monster of a man, but that does not excuse the fact he should know FAR better and should treat her/his kids far better as well. He mentions at least 3 times an episode how she has sole rights to the kids and how funds are optional….no…it’s not “optional” for you to support your damn kids. You are rich and you need a court to dictate to you that you need to financially support your children?

    Wow, real southern gentleman, getting butthurt that the 20 whatever year old you impregnated (twice) is behaving in a manner you don’t like and therefore withholding support, or being cheap about it. He is a big man baby, how embarrassing for his family.

    He should get her a place to live and provide for the kids. If he doesn’t like the fact that she will benefit from that, he should’ve have had two children with her.

  21. jen

    I can kind of see Cameron’s point not inviting them not wanting drama and she was never close to Kathryn still it was s bitch move. Thomas is just gross. Kathryn’s comment about Patty sleeping, I mean marrying into all of her money was awesome & so true! Then Patty admits to marrying at 20 within 3 months of knowing the guy…the last old guy was within 2 weeks. Hmmm…what a lady with class! This woman just bugs the shit out of me. I like this side of Craig that is not drunk all the time but is a great friend. He was sweet sticking up for her. I can’t stand Jennifer..ukk. That baby girl Kensi is just beautiful. Thomas is such a douch. What’s his name that is Thomas’ best friend Craig is partners with now looks so slimmy. He just looks like such a con artist. Anyway, great recap!

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