Real Housewives of New York Premiere Recap: Start Spreading The News

RHONY season 8

 

I am so excited for this season premiere. I am so excited about Tamara Tattles and all the success that you guys have given me. It’s been a very busy week for me not just all the stuff I have been posting but from a business standpoint, so many milestones have happened in April. I’m doing a bit of celebrating tonight so forgive me if this is a little wonky. I am sure all the idiots will be out in force about all the typos. Let me tell you to fuck off in advance. Thanks for al the retweets and Facebook shares y’all do every day. It really does help!

I already went through the first ten minutes here. So I shall sip my drink with both eyes on the TV for a change. Fun fact, Sonja Morgan favorite that post. Yet my sources tell me she is NOT a fan of Tamara Tattles.  I think she just liked that the title was a quote from her. OH OH OH and also Kristen somebody from Page Six who writes stories about RHONY from Sonja’s perspective also hates me. How cool is that!  Did I mention I’ve been celebrating? I tend to overshare when this happens. But hearing about the Sonja/Kristen connection reminded me of Phaedra’s little delusional friend who also writes for Page Six.   Before I started blogging and having great sources,  I used to think that Page Six and Wendy William and TMZ and some other places were like the gossip gospel. But Page Six especially. It’s weird being on the other side of the curtain.  Anyway, less celebrating and kiki-ing with you guys (had to hyphenate because … well just trust me). and more recapping.

I think the guy from central casting seated next to Ramona at the bar  is HOT!.  I’d like him to play the role of.. um. Let me hush.

 

RHONY Luann

LuAnn

Apparently, the Countess is homeless and has to shack up with Sonja. Sonja has no plumbing, a flooding issue in her bedroom and allegedly can’t afford her utility bill. Could none of the other take her in?  One of the interns that was on #WWHL last night as a bartender is trying to clean up shit and dirt off the balcony. I don’t understand how one subjects themselves to the modern day slavery that is “interning” for Sonja. Oh wait they  (Sonja and the intern) were painting patio furniture on the balcony as rich people do. Sonja points out that her kid went off to boarding school.  With some encouragement from her father who wanted to live in a place with indoor plumbing. Allegedly. And also this sent Sonja off the deep end. Again, allegedly. So I have heard. I could be wrong. But I am not. I am hoping Sonja’s new media whore friend who we will meet shortly doesn’t sick Gloria Allred on me.  (Blind Item revealed I forget which one. They were numbered one through five go look.)  I mean Gloria Allred? Come on!

Sonja is telling the tallest of tales about her charity for you know, “The Morgan Museum” and how next year it will be in Paris. And it more delusion than we have ever seen before on a show. Meanwhile, Luann is trying to find a face to match her circumstance which is recurrently reclined on a child’s bed on the fourth or fifth floor of Sonja’s apartment, sober.

They lapse into a story about DNA testing for ethnic heritage, as one does. And Luann says that her dentist told her that she is descended from Eskimos because they have an extra bone behind their front teeth. And you might think this is made up, but it is true. I know this because I have a lot of American Indian (Choctaw) in me an I have extra boned behind my lower teeth on both sides. It’s an indigenous people thing.  My mama had a convex roof on the roof of her mouth. Same reason.  This is why I cannot abide xrays on the lower teeth because I have bones there that normal folks don’t. #TrueStory. Sonja gives us a confessional on blowjobs in which she basically says Luann sucks at blow jobs. Allegedly.

FUCK the explosions have started in the ghetto and Banjo is going nuts.  Still no idea what it is. Some sort of excavation that only happens at night?  Construction?

 

bethenny

 

Bethenny

Ramona and Bethenny meet up. Bethenny rags Ramona saying “Is that my dress?” Because Ramona stole a dress from her when she was on her talk show. Ramona has new tits and it is hunting season.

Sidenote: I just called 911 about the explosions hoping they could tell me the deal because SURELY someone has inquired at this point. The supervisor was like explosions? What explosions? SERIOUSLY? I live in the fucking ghetto but the rich people of Vinings must be aware of this. What the hell. Sorry. But it has been at least a couple weeks of explosions and the dog goes fucking batshit and I can’t hear the TeeVEE!

It’s the set up for Bethenny dating storyline. Bethenny bemoans dating in your forties. It is quite the adventure.

Bethenny talks about Dorinda saying she hasn’t been drinking all summer. “Really? I have a 12 inch black penis.”  She will get hell on the Internet for that. She knows it and I love her for it.

Bethenny talks about the many sides of Dorinda. And how they don’t like John and how they drink like me tonight  fishes. Bethenny says she feels like Dorinda is always  trying to sell John to her. According to the previews,  Ramona will share that with Dorinda as if she wasn’t just talking about John too and it will be a big ass deal later.

Jules

Bravo is starting out trying to make this lady look bad already.  ” I am a stay at home mom with a live in nanny and a housekeeper” This had Bethenny fingerprints all over it.  I have a sneaking suspicion that Bethenny and Jules are great friends and Bethenny is trying to make Jules the rich bitch villain.  Why do we have to set this woman up to be evil incarnate because she is rich? I am prepared to hear all day about how she  just gave her five ?? year old a lipstick.  (forgive me. apparently I live in a war zone).  I am TEAM JULES already. Oh wow, she has a “modest” apartment in the flatiron district. He husband’s office is underneath. They seem to not want to say he probably owns the whole block. Are they going to make her one of  the poors because she doesn’t live in the UES?  Wendy Williams made fun of her husband because he is short. So wrong.   I love them. I am #TeamJules from scene one.

Dorinda

Speaking of short less interesting men, Dorinda and John are walking down the street. The rich couple that does live on the UES passes someone hired from central casting and who is not dressed for the part which is apparently homeless beggar.  Dorinda randomly suggests that they give this man a dollar for no apparent reason.  John says he is going to do it one better and give him…..wait for it FIVE DOLLARS! I live in the fucking ghetto and… sigh. We are supposed to REALLY HATE these two this season. That is the set up. I am really irked by this scene. Who thought rich ass white people giving a random black man five dollars as if it were a great act of charity. DAMMIT BRAVO. Don’t put me off this show in the first fucking half hour!   Dickwad stands there waiting for the plant to express immense gratitude and then says to Dorinda. “Well, we always feel good about helping other people out, right?”  Yes douchebag.  Handing a random dude (likely an actor) a five spot is really helping someone out. Then they head in to celebrate their anniversary at a fancy pants restaurant that the tip will be at least ten times that.

I used to like Dorinda. I’m going to let the dog back in during this shit.  I hate Dorinda and John already Bravo. Mission accomplished.

Bethenny

Bethenny has a new office. I am loving her tonight.  Bethenny says, “And I mean the Kardashians are Kennedys for Godsake.” I’m literally watching her every move. She mentions that she is paying for the office apartment, her apartment and her old apartment. Flashback to her bitching about it costing $150,ooo a month. I think. Because, WAR ZONE.  And it smells like weed in the office elevator.

Ramona

Ramona meets with Carole. Which is weird because the only person who likes Carole is Bethenny. It was captivating. Carole taught Ramona how to pronounce reggae.   Ramona tells Carole she took the property and he got the money.  Carole sits there being a sanctimonious twat while Ramona blathers on. Because she fucked a Kennedy. Like that is a rare event.

 

Photo: Instagram

Photo: Instagram

 

Next is the filming at Catch which I told you about here.  Bethenny has a hot date. They went out the night before, hung v hungover joke ensues. I like him. Dorinda thinks he looks like Jason. When Jules and her husband arrive her first question is where do they live. #Shade. Jules and Michael are Kosher. I love Jules. Dorinda and Bethenny are not particularly welcoming.  Bethenny hates John, so at least there is that. The topic is how much Dorinda and John drink.

Yet Bethenny tries to skinny shame  BETHENNY!

UM WTF?

RHONY Bethenny hello kitty

 

Hey LOOK AT ME IN MY FOUR YEAR OLDS PAJAMAS BETHENNY? or

RHONY Bethenny

 

LOOK AT MY ANOREXIC PHOTO I POSTED ONLINE BETHENNY!?????

She must really be jealous of Jules who I thought just looked great. Bethenny Frankel who is so fucking obessed with being skinny that she named her brand SKINNY GIRL is going for a woman she has met JUST NOW as being anorexic?

I hope Jules eats her for fucking lunch.

Bethenny says she never had an eating disorder but her mother did so she understands it. What did her mother do? Did she pose in pajamas that her four year old wears and post them on the Internet?  ARE WE ABOUT TO RUIN THE WHOLE FUCKING SEASON WITH FAKE ANOREXIC CHARGES? Because I. CAN’T. DO. ANOTHER. ILLNESS. SEASON! I WILL NOT DO IT!!!! DO NOT FUCK THIS UP BRAVO PLEASE! I LOVE NEW YORK!

As Jules is putting her hair up, Bethenny suggests she be princess Leah for Halloween. AND THEN.

SHE SAY JULES HUSBAND CAN BE R2D2!

Okay, so the reason these two are not fast friends is because Bethenny Frankel is JEALOUS AS FUCK.

And I’m sorry this is harshing my mellow. I am celebrating tonight. Albeit alone in a ghetto shack that is apparently in a war zone. But  don’t have a WWHL recap in me. I’ll do it tomorrow. Right now I don’t want any more Bethenny Frankel.

My life is really good right now (except for the fact I may get blown up) and I just want to enjoy the last hour of this day.

137 Comments

Filed under Bethenny Frankel, Carole Radziwill, Countess Luann, Dorinda Medley, Entertainment News, Julianne Wainstein, Real Housewives of New York, RHONY

137 responses to “Real Housewives of New York Premiere Recap: Start Spreading The News

  1. Xanadude

    Random Hits from The Dude:
    1) Dorinda’s reaction to John saying “Well, we always feel good about helping other people out, right?” was to shrug, say “Eh, well…” then the scene cut, which makes me think she said something like “He’s only going to go use it for coke and hookers” or something
    2) People who fiddle with their hair while eating communal finger foods skeeve me out.
    3) Countess LuAnn does not need her customary statement necklaces/weapons this season, as her extra row of barracuda teeth will protect her and qualify her for minority status, which is very chic this season
    4) Sonja continues to fascinate me. I wouldn’t want to work for her, be related to her, or be friends with her, but she is so straight out of a Jackie Collins novel that her entire existence is like ironic performance art. She’s the real life Edina Monsoon. Self deluding and self medicating and I love every moment of it.
    5) Can we just replace Ramona with Amy Phillips doing an impression of a nicer Ramona? Horny Ramona skeeves me out.

    I’m getting chills between the wonderful moments and skeevy moments on RHONY, which means I am going to LOVE this season. As long as no one pulls a “pity me I’m sick” storyline. Give me over the top drunken glamourpusses and I’m there.

    • Minky

      I agree with all of your assessments. I would just switch out Edina for Patsy. Edina has a gorgeous house that’s apparently in her name (Yeah, I like AbFab a little too much), and Patsy is the one who relies on the kindness of strangers.

      And Dorinda probably really did need that jump cut. Didn’t she make an ass of herself last season by thinking that a black man in the restaurant was a waiter because he was, well, black? SMH.

      • Micheal

        Technically it is in her daughter’s name. Which is why there was the season that Saffy kicked her out of it.

      • Minky

        Yeah, I remember that one too. It was after Saffy almost married the polygamist African man and Edina finally went too far and slapped Saffy’s daughter. Edina and Patsy ended up sleeping in a furniture showroom. I hope I got that right.

        BTW: Has anybody watched “Mirrorball”. It was pretty good too! I think it would have made a great show.

    • iloveearlgrey

      I love when you leave comments like this. YESSSSSS!

    • Erica

      I lurve B. for calling Jules out on playing with her hair. Since when is eating at a sushi place with a tower of shellfish Kosher? Uh… and caving in to the kid who wanted popsicles. Shades of Johann and the other one. Ick.

    • Jim

      Ack! Go to the bathroom if you want to put your hair up Jules! She flipped that shit around in everyone’s faces at the table (and the table behind) for what seemed an eternity. And then never completed the task.

      That’s enough to make me hate her for the entire season. 😛

    • Dee

      I just watched this, Bethany was awfully rude to Jules, talking about someone while they sit next to you is so bad. Jules didn’t just fiddle with her hair, God! She did everything but brush it which makes me think she heard Bethany remark on her long hair, jealous Bethany?
      Tamara this was a wonderful recap. I am so happy that you are celebrating.

    • dee

      I think there is an AbFab movie coming out…Luv them!
      The comparison is perfect.

    • Old grandpas and their friends used to do that joke where they flick your nose after getting you to look up. In the fifties and sixties. It made me want to punch somebody with my tiny fists That was so embarrassing and bizarre. I agree 100% that if this is a battle of the anorectics it will ruin the show for me. Please don’t go there! Please! I just don’t get the horny middle-aged woman thing.
      There is a lot of nasty stuff on the internet about Carole and her boyfriend. Why are people so judgemental? They got the same puppy I have. Good luck having an 85 lb. bird chaser in the city.

    • FrostyTheOG

      3. LMFAO

    • So I guess Lu’s mouth is ribbed for his pleasure…

      Finally, we inadvertantly discover Lu’s secret for attracting so many many many men…

  2. Adriana

    And the woman who overshares doesn’t spill an inlkling about what she is celebrating? Do tell!

  3. Toni Lee Gildea

    You always make me laugh. Don’t blow up!

  4. XDude: I can be random too!
    I think Jules is too young for this crowd.
    I don’t like seeing little children on any housewives show.
    Having both Ramona and Sonja on the show is rather redundant. I’m usually more entertained by Sonja’s delusions than Ramona’s “single in the city pushing sixty” spiel (I didn’t care for Sonja tonight, but I usually find her entertaining).

    • Minky

      Oooooh! I don’t like Ramona either. She gets a look in her eye that disturbs the shit out of me. Did she bust out a bottle of her Pinot Grigio and some stemware from her purse again? Hahaaaa!

    • I agree with you tootsie about not having little kids on the HW’s. No, just no, make them go away.

      • Sabrina

        It appeared to me that Ramona also had eye work done that was not too successful- in every facial view her eyes were slivers with cat up turns at the ends- it was sad to see as she seems so out of place and uncomfortable, with forced smiles and lines. This drinking with the daughter but not remembering anything is not a good look- and what was precocious in a smart mouth daughter at 13 is unpleasant/unsupportive at 22.

        TT, so glad to hear you are celebrating! Make sure you let us know what we can be doing to help make you successful, please! I thought that discussion yesterday about BH was one of the best, most thoughtful/fun/analytic in a long time- you are doing an awful lot right these days and we are really enjoying it!!

  5. hannahkingrose

    TT haven’t seen RHONY yet but we do have a bulletproof vest, helmet and some other stuff we can ship you in case of flying shrapnel. You probably need to put Banjo in the bathroom like in a tornado situation lol. Other than that I got nothing.

  6. My maternal great grandmother was half Choctaw Indian! My grandmother was named after her, and I was named after my grandmother. I don’t have any extra bones in my mouth though, I guess the Irish gene took precedence. Maybe it’s a good thing so I don’t leave train tracks on a guys pecker while giving blow jobs. Just kidding…sometimes these ladies give a little bit too much information. Luann looked totally out of place in Sonja’s home. I felt like she was looking around going, ewwww. Familiarity does breed contempt.

    Sonja killed me not being able to pronounce reggae, then she said it was Brazilian music. Um, I think that may be more Jamaican, mon. Sonja is so goofy. Carole was looking at her like, please shut the fuck up and actually, I was too.

    I think Bethenny’s tagline should be: “If you can’t handle MY truth, you can’t handle me.” I think that’s more truthful :)

    • tamaratattles

      G-Snap.. how do you know you don’t have extra bones. I always thought my mouth was “normal” too. It’s not “extra bones” it’s a ridge on your lower plates that others don’t have. Ask your dentist. I never knew I had it either. It’s called e torrii or something.

      • I’ll do that TT. Very interesting.

      • iloveearlgrey

        Does having an extra tooth in the top part count?

      • Dee

        Tamara, I’m so happy for you! I have that extra bone, x-rays kill! Thanks for the great recap!

      • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

        Apparently I have a weird convex lump in the roof of my mouth. I never knew it was not normal until a hygienist commented on it a year or so ago. Thought everybody had it. I have native ancestors too, I wonder if that’s why…

      • peachteachr

        Many years ago, I worked for a periodontist in Sandy Springs (Atlanta) who taught at Emory one day a week.Some patients did have the large bone deposits behind their upper teeth and would have them ground off during their oral surgery. The subject of blowjobs NEVER came up, but this was before Bill Clinton made blowjobs a part of the national conversation. I just thought inquiring minds might want to know. lololol The railroad tracks comment made me laugh.

    • Not Sonja…I meant Ramona. Shit. Sometimes those two just seem to blend together to make one.

    • Minky

      I’ve got one for Bethenny too: “Holy cognitive dissonance!!! If I can’t handle the truth, I’ll just ignore it. Zzzzzzzzzz.”

    • Jim

      You have Sonja and Ramona confused with each other in most of your post. 😉

    • KEWLM0M

      I think that was Ramona not Sonja

  7. TT: congrats on having your hard work pay off. Celebrate — and may many good things come your way. I also live in a neighborhood the NRA would appreciate. Luckily, our dog has gotten used to the gunfire, explosions and sirens. Do a Ramona and Pinot Grigio your way into not noticing.

  8. jen

    Have not watched yet but I laughed so much at this recap ♡

  9. butternut

    OK I rarely comment, but check/read TT multiple times a day…I need a life. I’m too young to be this lame haha. But I read almost everything you post, even if I’m not really interested, cuz I’ll love your writing & the comments.
    Anywho, if I lived in atl I would make u be my best friend! I don’t like to leave my house except to take my kids to school or buy something important, like cigarettes or booze. I’m pretty sure we could sit around in sweats, have some drinks, & bitch/judge the stupidity around us. I mean, I do that now, but it’s w/ myself & no one’s listening to my witty comments. Ha. Oh well. I respect your game! If I had a blog & mixed it w/drinking, I’d wake up every afternoon (cause who sleeps @ decent hours?!) feeling shameful about what I may have written!
    Cheers!

  10. iloveearlgrey

    Yay to good news for Tamara! I hope you become richer than Erika Girardi! Entertaining recap, as usual. <3

  11. Johnny

    I’m really bothered by Dorinda. That homeless dude stuff was really gross tonight, and really fake.

    She did a lot of similar stuff last season, actually. There was the incident where she told a black dude in a restaurant to take her coat, before realizing not all black dudes are waiters. Then she told another waiter in another restaurant to “get her Worcestershire sauce, RIGHT NOW”, which I thought was rude as hell. I considered her repeated use of the word “spastic” classless, too – in the UK that word is considered as politically incorrect as “retard”.

    As for the dry cleaner who thinks he’s stumbled onto the set of the Sopranos, I just don’t think you get very rich by rinsing old lady’s panties. If they stay on the show, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s subjected to some kind of Giudice-like financial exposure. Either that, or he’s just hanging around Dorinda for her coins.

    • Sweet T

      The Jeffersons got rich through the dry cleaning business. His business is for the rich elite of nyc. He cleans the gowns everyone wears to the met. It’s a status symbol to use him. Who would think the dry cleaner you use can add to your social status? Sigh.

  12. BeetsWhy

    I’m psyched for this season! My favorite Bethenny comment of the night was when she referred to Dorinda’s John as a chubby baby…I love her humor.

  13. Erica

    I can’t believe how happy I am that we are back in New York. I needed it and I needed to converse with the TT peeps about it to get my mind off either my first UTI or my first kidney stone (tests at the doc are pending).

    Sorry TT – I still love Carole. I consider her the “Greek Chorus” of the HW. I don’t care if she has a major storyline or not. Her comments and quips are as awesome as Bethenny’s – she just isn’t as much of a whirlwind as B, but that is ok by me. If they were all like Bethenny, it would be a hot mess.

    My jury decision is still out on Jules – it is absolutely fine if you have a nanny and a housekeeper, but don’t pitch to me how you have the “hardest job” compared to anyone else. Especially when you show us that “negotiation” regarding popsicles and how your child is really the one in charge in the very first episode. Yup – went there, even though I don’t have kids. Have enough friends who do have kids who know the meaning of positive discipline and boundaries to know that was bullshit, and that your pay should be docked for that job performance..

    • susan

      Erica I had my first gallbladder attack. Worse than childbirth because it was unrelenting and felt as if I was being stabbed too. Dr wanted to cut it out. Um no. Started on regimen of apple cider vinegar mixed in apple juice in the morning. Took away it and all my stomach issues. Six months now and no problems

      • Erica

        I have a weird stomach, but trying some Apple Cider Vinegar pills. And probiotics. We’ll see if that helps anything. I have often wondered if my gallbladder wasn’t acting ip. Family history of that.

        Taking my last Cipro today, and no more UTI pain! Woot! (So glad it wasn’t a kidney stone)

    • k-slay

      Erica – I completely agree regarding Jules.. She didn’t appear to be very intelligent to me based on her talking heads.. and I guess anything she said the entire episode. She seems like a nice person though just not a lot of self awareness which drives me absolutely insane… but its no where near as bad as Sonja’s lack of mental, emotional, physical, financial, social, well really any type of human being awareness.

    • queenmarie

      Erica— I cannot stand that either. If we saw that can you imagine what else happens—yep that kid rules the place I’m sure. Some parents just think their kids are just so cute and adorable that they can’t discipline them only to find out later they surely wish they had.

    • Sliceo'pie

      I like Carole a lot too-I don’t get all the hate. I find her intelligent and funny. I know a lot of people find her attitude, ‘Superior or haughty” but I find it more detached and ironic. She made one or two quips at the lunch with Ramona- (who was a total bore ) if Bethenny had made them, everybody would be laughing. Re’Jules, I can’t imagine claiming I’m a stay at home mom if I had a full time nanny. I try not to judge other parents too harshly – she’s definitely setting herself up for a much bigger problem down the road by not, saying, “NO” to her son at this age. When my son was younger than hers I put a stop to it right away so it didn’t build into a problem-we don’t have long negotiations. But being a parent can be like a game of “Wack-A-Mole”, you pound the hammer down on one of those, “Pop Ups”, feel satisfied and then another one Pops Up…There’s always some issue. I’ve certainly made my fair share of mistakes…

  14. Laura

    I’m not a Dorinda fan, but she is so pretty, and her hair cut is amazing. Loved Bethany’s closet…

  15. Lime Brain

    I still like Dorinda.

    Avery at the bar while her mother tried to pick up men was funny. Poor Avery.

    Was it me or did Carole and her boyfriend seemed stoned in the electronics store they were in? I laughed when they showed the scene of Carole on the bicycle again because I remembered someone posting that they never wanted to see that again.

    • Jim

      Adam is gross. It looks like he really, really needs a long hot shower and a generous meal. Do women really find men like him attractive?

      Can this whole boho-hipster-dude shtick just be over now? The guys with the nice beards can keep them though. Lol.

    • jen

      I think Carole and her boyfriend enjoy Mary Jane.

      • Johnny

        You think? I wonder…. I get more of a Xanax-y/Kim Richards vibe from Dorinda occasionally.

      • Johnny

        Oh, Carole. DOH! Sorry I can’t read. Yeah, they definitely seem like they’d take anything offered to them. Wasn’t she boasting last season about taking molly in the club then throwing up on some guy?

      • Sliceo'pie

        It seems like a lot of people in Andy’s circle partake in the herb. A lot of people are back to smoking pot these days. It gives a nice buzz and doesn’t leave a hangover.

  16. Margarett

    Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! This post has me grinning from ear to ear! It’s beyond wonderful that things are going well for you. Any and all success for you is richly deserved. Okay gonna’ go read the rest. It was impossible to wait even a minute to let you know how happy you’ve made me. It’s a great way to start the day.

  17. Cheychey

    Ok the homeless dude didn’t look homeless at all. I also thought John thinking him giving $5 was being generous was a joke. He is just creepy like Joe of of Jersey. Love the new girl. She kinda reminds me of Demi Moore. I didn’t find her overly skinny so that came out of nowhere for me. It’s a little weird to have a nanny and be a stay at home mom. But it I could afford a housekeeper whether at home or not I would have one so I didn’t have to do it and could just be fabulous all day. Great to see Bethany in her new place and focused on her business and dating. I love the confident boss bitch Bethany.

    • pdt090

      I dunno, I’d say $5 is pretty generous. Most New Yorkers just give spare change if they give at all.

    • BKSweetheart

      Being a SAHM and having a nanny is definitely a NYC rich people thing. It’s like a status symbol.

    • Mark

      I have a mother who is very much like a NYC housewive. That is to say she was a “stay at home mother” yet still had a nanny, cleaning staff and never cooked, and sent me to board. She too, has no concept of money in the real world. Because of that, she often thinks its nothing to give £20 to a homeless person. Which annoys me, because I think, “bitch, that could get me wine for a week.” However, £20 is what, $30? Come on, dry cleaner, if you want to move to the “right side of the river” you need to up your game, and at least PRETEND you have no concept of money…

  18. Deb in SF

    TT, what Kennedy did Carole fuck? Not a one that I recall hearing about. evil grin

    • Dee

      She is the widow of a cousin of the family…I think

      • Katherine 2.0

        Her husband was Jackie Kennedy’s nephew; her mother-in-law is Lee Radizwell, one of Truman Capote’s swans back in the 60’s. Carol and her husband Anthony were close friends with John, Jr. and Caroline.

  19. Dang it! I can’t stand a “stay at home mama” like Jules ..who has a nanny and a housekeeper. Instead..just say you are a kept woman who complains all day…that would be better!

  20. Dang it! I can’t stand a “stay at home mama” like Jules who clearly doesn’t do any mothering or cleaning up after herself in that small space. Just say it like it is. Jules is a kept woman who has to stay rich skinny.

  21. RealChicagoHousewife

    While we are on the subject of Carole, I was watching a rerun of RHNYC. It was the season finale in which Aviva throws her leg at the Team Sonja party. At this party Carole says Aviva has Munchausen because she’s not buying the I was too sick to travel excuse. So, there ya go. Carole started the whole Munchausen thing!

    • jen

      Hahahahahahaha problem solved! It was Carole in the parlor with the fake leg Watson!

    • Matzah60

      Good pick up on the Munchausen thing. Yes, she did say it at the final show, but she also said it in her apartment. No one went around trying to figure out who accused Aviva of that and Aviva didn’t come for anyone who said it. It was just thrown out there as a possibility because they were all so surprised that she had asthma/not have asthma which was her reason for not going on the trip

  22. susan

    This might be my favorite recap ever. I love that you’re celebrating. We have multiple fireworks for every holiday around here including Easter and 420. Never experienced anything like it. My doggie killer barks nonstop. New years started at 8 pm. All six pounds of him finally collapsed at the midnight grand finale. We need a gif of that handsome bar guy. And please bravo no more someone else’s illness storylines. Please

  23. Katherine 2.0

    Am wondering what’s happening in your neighborhood, TT? Any updates? And congrats on hitting the big time!

  24. I only started watching NY last season, but I will have to say these women seem so much more authentic and natural when they’re together, it doesn’t come off as forced as the Beverly Hills and Orange County dinners and events.

  25. i’m so glad new york is back! congrats tamara, for a job well done! :) i think bethenny is green with envy. not only is the new girl younger and prettier than her she’s also thinner and it looks natural.

  26. Tulsateacher

    Since I like Bethenny I hope her eating disorder comments had more to do with the way Jules was cutting up and moving around the tiny pieces of food on her plate and less to do with her being thin. That’s what I’m hoping because one, I do not want this season to spin into a secret eating disorder mystery and two, I want to see Bethenny and Jules friendly.
    TT I can’t wait to read your recap of last night’s WWHL. I don’t have dvr and I couldn’t figure out what Bethenny said that was muted. Twice!

    • Not a big Bethenny fan here, I don’t hate her, but I will hate on her…if ya know what I mean. I loved your comment though, because it was weird that they kept showing that little bit of food, and Jules kept pretending like she was cutting it? WTH? But, she didn’t look scary thin to me either. I I thought she looked fine…very pretty. Maybe she was just nervous, and that’s why she kept jacking around with her hair. I think this was the first time she was meeting that gang, and I would have been really nervous. Bethenny is a tough cookie. Sadly, I do think you’re right where all this is leading. BUMMER!

      • JennLovesAndy

        In the introduction they show her in a dress and her legs are the size of my arms. I think the combo of her thinness and being tall makes it amplified.

    • Matzah60

      I don’t know what she was eating, but she did say she was kosher. Yes, I know that she’s out to eat at what I think is a sushi bar, but many people who are kosher will eat fish when they go out to eat, as long as it isn’t shellfish which isn’t considered kosher. I get the feeling that she chose not to eat her real meal there, or perhaps her husband was separating things she could eat from those she couldn’t eat.

      I am Jewish, not kosher, but my sister is and so are other members in my extended family. Just my two cents. Don’t know if that’s why she ate so little, but she doesn’t look skeletal to me like Bethany. On the other hand, Bethany is buff. She obviously works out a lot and is very toned. The new woman just seems naturally thin.

  27. I don’t get Dorinda and John’s relationship. He’s all touchy-feely and wanting to slobber all over her, and she’s all, don’t touch me in public and embarrass me. I actually like Dorinda, but I don’t understand why she’s even hanging out with John, when she seems so put off by him, and he seems to get on her nerves with all his silly playing. I’m getting the vibe that John is a bit of an opportunist, which doesn’t have to necessarily be a bad thing. It’s just how you go about it. I just wonder what Dorinda “sees” in him because they seem so incompatible. Surely it’s more than free dry cleaning?

    • k-slay

      ITA Gingersnap.. Seems to me its purely based on companionship and/or comfortableness especially since she lost her husband whom she still grieves. But what’s more shocking is the degree she goes to to stick up for him to the other ladies (especially in that season preview of the scene where shes screaming at everyone). She may be afraid to lose someone ever again so stays in this relationship with someone she doesn’t even seem to like.

      • Yeah, it’s like she really doesn’t even LIKE him, and that’s not a good thing. Hmmmm. It makes me feel bad for Dorinda because she doesn’t seem to be in the right head space.

  28. Great, great recap!! And all of the responses, so very funny. I love reading TT’s blog and wish her much luck in whatever is happening today, I’m sending you good vibrations.

    I was a little surprised there was no mention of Kristin Takeman. Did she leave voluntarily, or was it the fallout from the Ashley Madison scandal. I was wondering if she divorced her nasty husband – and hoping that she is okay. She was a sweet girl, but she was always 2 or 3 steps behind everyone else.

    Can’t wait for next weeks recap. Thank you everyone.

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      Kristen seems to be standing by Josh. I don’t know if she wasn’t asked back or if she was embarrassed to have to address the AM thing on RHONY (you know they would have made it a storyline). In any case good riddance!

    • Jim

      No one in the comments so far seems to miss Heather, lol.

    • Dee

      Thank you for mentioning the AM. Tamara has a good story about it. 37 million people! Some of the “women” were actually computer programs.

  29. Cat

    Congrats, TT! So glad things are going well for you!

    Just some random thoughts:

    Whenever I hear about Sonja and her “interns”, the episode of “Seinfeld”, where Kramer has an intern, pops into my head. Then I laugh, and laugh. :)

    These women can’t pay a utility bill, but can shell out for an expensive DNA heritage test? Hmmm…priorities, ladies.

    Bethenny is scary-thin.

    And finally, a word to Dorinda and John: Um…You know that if you make a big deal out of helping others, it ceases to be “charity”, and becomes self-promotion. I believe you lose Karma points, especially if you make a big deal out of it on National TV.

    Isn’t that in the Bible, somewhere?

  30. bravocueen

    Didn’t watch and don’t know if I’m going to, but CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS on all your successes T!

  31. Buttercream

    Congrats TT; well done, take a bow and pop the champagne!

    Great re-cap as always .. had me chuckling on this cold wet windy day…

  32. Ok – I’ve been waiting all day for someone else to say it so maybe it’s just me. Does anyone else get a Morticia Adams vibe off the new girl?

  33. imagrandma2

    TT, you’re a unique wise woman. You’ve given me many smiles. I’m a fan. Thank you for all you do.

  34. bellabee

    Bethenny is crazy. She is scary thin! She must weigh only 90 pounds soaking wet. Women don’t naturally look the way she does. I know a lot of people like her frankness (no pun intended), but there’s a difference between being honest and not taking anyone’s BS and just being a bitch. She talks a mile and minute and can’t shut up. I end up feeling exhausted after watching any of the scenes she’s in. Just my opinion.

    • susan

      Yes exactly. That bottom pic scary skinny

    • Matzah60

      YES, bellabee……Big difference between honesty and complete intolerance with other people’s choices and views!! Amen!!

    • kendrawm

      I have a friend (I know one of those) who owns a stand up paddle board and surf shop near the Hamptons, he helped run the water side for the Hamptons Paddle & Party for Pink and said she is tiny, like hug her and you will break Bethenny tiny. Plus she was kind of a bitch he said. She was not even close to the biggest celebrity there but he said she was acting like she was.

      • bellabee

        So funny! She seems so entitled. And now she does WWHL without another guest. Isn’t that reserved for like, JLo and people like that? Haha.

      • Lime Brain

        Who would want to be on with her? They would never be able to get a word in edge wise.

  35. Matzah60

    Tamara, I am so happy for your success. All that hard work that I know is associated with a blog of this magnitude has finally paid off and I couldn’t be happier for you! I hope it just keeps getting better and better!! Cheers…Congratulations……Mazel Tov…… Nostrovia!!!

  36. iloveearlgrey

    Great episode. These women always entertain me. Don’t f*ck this one up too, Bravo.

  37. Nila

    I have been a huge Bethenny fan since seeing her on Martha Stewart’s apprentice show but gosh she just talks and talks and never listens. I don’t know if you’re going to recap WWHL with her but she talked so much that she was answering questions Andy never asked her then tried to make him look like a moron when he restated the question she clearly did not get, it was like she was drunk except you knew she wasn’t she was just so self obsorbed she couldn’t be properly be interviewed. All roads lead to dry cleaning? I think she meant skinny girl! I would never blurt out that I thought someone had an eating disorder, especially when the person was sitting next to me and I had only known them for 30 seconds. She has become obnoxious towards others and always the victim when it comes to herself. She was “homeless” for two years..um here’s a thought, if you don’t want to shuffle your kid from hotel to hotel or have to change in the car because check out was at noon..go rent an apartment for a year or two. There are things she could have done to easily make her situation less stressful, but she chose not to. She has plenty of money to rent a place or sublease. It’s quite sad that she prefers to live in chaos, again she is someone I really liked before and had admired for years.

    Dorinda doesn’t seem happy with John or rather doesn’t seem to like John and perhaps the above posters are right, she’s comfortable with him. I understand her position, I defended my ex husband even tho I was miserable with him. I think when we are in those situations we are actually defending ourselves and our poor choice of a relationship.

    Anyone notice the countess voice over in her tag line? She sounded sick or hoarse..more then her usual.

    I have no words for Sonja or Ramona. They seem happy and in la la land. Carole annoys me still but it’s great that she got a puppy to replace Heather lol.

    No opinion on the new car, I think there was some poor editing going on at lunch because it looked like she was passionately defending herself as a stay at home mom when no one was attaching her..

  38. Nila

    On a side note; anyone know how old Sonja’s daughter is? Her room looked like that of a younger child, 7/8ish? What age do children go off to boarding school?

    *i meant new girl NOT new car lol

  39. Pantaloons

    Great recap. I do not know if this was ever mention before but, I will write it anyway. Are y’all aware that there is a snack line named, ‘skinny pop’? When I came across it I said to myself, “Self, that there is some fucking irony. In yo face,Frankel”!

    • Nila

      I have seen those and assumed it was Bethenny’s product?!?!

      • Pantaloons

        Nope. Not hers. I just want clarify that the thing that was ironic to me was the skinny and the pop of color brand rant Frankel was giving Takeman last season. *shrug*

    • Johnny

      I think Bethenny’s point was that it’s pretty dumb (and also kinda shady) naming/branding yourself too closely to an already-established name on the market.

      Skinnygirl’s snack products preceded Skinny Pop (by just a matter of weeks if I remember correctly). So when she was telling Kristen how dumb it was, she was talking from experience because somebody had done exactly that to her and to some extent piggybacked on her brand name. It’s no wonder she found it so very irritating watching Kristen do the same. It’s just bad business and unethical – as someone above mentioned, people buy it assuming an association that doesn’t exist.

      I believe we’ll see Sonja attempt to do something similar to Bethenny this season, from what I’ve seen on TT. I know which side I expect to come out on top in that particular battle of wits….

  40. Jen

    Omg. I laughed and laughed. Thank you. I come here to get away from Political discussions, memes rants n friends and I love laughing and relaxing here. Lol!!!!!

  41. Great recap, TT. #Nomorediseases! I haven’t gotten hooked on RHoNY yet, but I think this season might suck me in. I have to say my favorite moment of the night was the outfit Bethany wore to brunch. OMG–gorgeous! Bethany is so jealous of Jules. Dorinda’s John is really annoying. Is he really rich? That’s the only reason I can see Dorinda being with him. It was obvious that she couldn’t stand him either.

  42. Queen of the Nile

    Great recap and comments! RHONY is my favorite. Loved the tour of Bethenny’s home and office — especially her closet. I can refrain from coveting the trips and clothes and social events, etc. but there’s just something about an organized closet with shelves of beautiful shoes. Sigh ….

  43. peachteachr

    What the hell happened to Sonja’s face??? The work and her hairstyle just didn’t work for me. Love, love, love Bethenny. She is the same today as she was the first year, only rich now.

  44. TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

    Is it just me or was this episode absolutely awful? Atrocious. I don’t care to hate Dorinda and John. I don’t care what Ramonas doing, I don’t care about Sonja, I don’t care about Luann and Carole and Adam are an absolute bore. I thought Jules was about 10 years older than she is and I don’t care about her and her shoebox of an apartment and her spoiled son. What parent lets the kid have a freezie after they said NO? I’m sorry but that is terrible parenting. It’s not letting him “negotiate” it’s teaching him he doesn’t have to listen to his mother. Good luck when he’s 17 and does whatever he wants and Jules will have absolutely no clue as to why that happened.

    • Katherine 2.0

      You’re burnt out. I recommend a four-day trip to Montana with your best friends. Maybe you can climb a rock, go fishing and do yoga. But take your own air conditioner.

      • Lime Brain

        But she can’t go. Didn’t you see her doctors note, inhaler and chest xrays? She has double asthma and she can’t handle the altitude.

      • Katherine 2.0

        Ha, good one, LB!

      • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

        You guys are hilarious. :) I am burnt out…it was all just too much for me. The freezie sent me over the edge.

  45. Pip

    I just watched it and read the comments. I do not think Bethenny has an eating disorder. She eats a lot from what I’ve seen. She doesn’t play with her food and in every shot of her she is sticking food in her mouth. But she is also a fitness fanatic. I’m sure what she eats is healthy. Some women are just very small when they eat right and exercise.
    No idea how I feel about Jules yet. I need more time.
    I still like Carole as well, but there are a few things about her that do irritate me. She has this immaturity. When she was sitting on the counter at the camera shop… Really? There is kind of a “look at me” thing happening with her.
    Ramona DOES NOT SHUT UP! I could never be friends with her. She is so self-involved.
    I still have a rough time with Dorinda. She is one of those drinkers that I hide in the bathroom from. I hate mean drunks.
    That’s all I can think of, but I do think this will play out to be a good season. At least from the previews.

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      Bethenny HAS openly discussed having an eating disorder in the past so very odd of her to say “I’ve never had an easing disorder”.

  46. Both Ramona and Bethenney remind me of every speed freak I’ve ever known. I was cringing with Avery and laughing with Carole during Ramona’s motor mouthing. Bethenney is such a rude bitch that I just laugh without the cringe. It’s very possible “buff” Bethenney should not be casting eating disorder stones – an opinion I base on photo’s from her past and head size out of proportion – wildly out of proportion especially in the Hello Kitty pics (and also appearance on WWHL – LOL!) Too rich or too thin motto thing for her.

    The only one I’ve consistently liked remaining on the Show is LuAnn. Hope they don’t ruin that for me this Season.

  47. Bethenny was being ridiculous about Jules. It was probably a combination of jealousy and not respecting SAHMs. Reminds me of OC Vicki. But the most telling part was that Jules reminds Bethenny of her mom. Who she absolutely hates. I’m curious so see if they ever get close.

    That being said, Jules is bulimic. You can hear it in her voice. #dontshootthemessenger

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      I don’t like Jules. She seems narcissistic to me. Your child is not blonde, Jules. And I would not guess she had Asian ancestry – she doesn’t look it until it’s mentioned, then I could see it. Because I was looking for it. Stupid comment that she’s the “most different looking” Jewish woman her husband could find. She looks like a lot of white women. She most definitely doesn’t look like a Filipino nanny. Bitch, please.

    • “That being said, Jules is bulimic. You can hear it in her voice.”
      Interesting. What about her voice does that?

      • It’s a certain phlegmy undertone. I was looking at my computer when she came on screen and as soon as she spoke her first lines my head snapped up. It’s my superpower. Trust me, I wish I had something more useful (and less depressing).

  48. TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

    Oh yeah, is Jules the one whose husband rented out the hall so she could have her own piano performance? At the time I said “I can’t wait for Bethenny to eat her”. That still stands.

  49. Erica

    A number of people have said that Bethenny is jealous of Jules.

    What the FUCK does she have to be jealous of?????

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      I agree Erica. Not everyone who has disdain for SAHM’s is jealous. It’s a lifestyle not everyone would choose. Personally I think one’s opinion on that should be kept to oneself if it’s not nice but it doesn’t mean anyone’s jealous. I’d guess Bethenny’s disdain has a lot more to do with her reminding her of her mother. Maybe Bethenny also picked up that Jules is a little focused on herself. People like that grate on me.

      • tamaratattles

        Please name any “housewife” on any franchise that is not more than just a little “focused on themselves.”

    • jen

      Bethany like LVP plays a character on the show I believe and she just does not like Jules so she plays into it a bit more than one would “in real life.”

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