The ladies are picked up by the white Rolls Royces that The Dubai Mall sends to the fancy hotels to pick up rich American tourists. Oh how I love these Dubai episodes. If only these women would stop bitching. Erika in her car feels the same way. Pinky is already bitching about Eileen in the other car.
The mall is fantastic. They are not dressed for snow skiing but they have an indoor ski resort INSIDE THE MALL. These idiots are going to Chanel. This is worse than going to Nobu. Rinna and Eileen are ignoring Pinky. That’s not nice. On the other hand Rinna thinks Pinky is ignoring her. Meanwhile, Erika drops enough money for a car on a hot pink Chanel bag. I should point out that the ladies are being driven around inside the mall in sleek black electric carts.
Time to head to Burj Khalifa the tallest building in the world and Kyle is already freaking out. I would not be afraid of the observation decks as much as I would the elevator. Just thinking about the elevator freaks me out. Remind me to tell you about the time I got stuck in an elevator with my parents as child in some random third world country. I don’t know why they are back in the Rolls again to go to Burj Khalifa. It’s right next door to the mall. Have I mentioned that the Burj Khalifa was built in less time than Chateau Sheree? Why do the only fit three people in an elevator at a time. This must be some sort of VIP elevator. Off they go to the 152nd floor. Eileen’s feet sweat when she gets nervous!
Okay the are over 2,700 feet up. That’s over half a mile in the air!
Lisa Vanderpump has been coached by Kyle on have to give a proper apology. She is going to attempt it on top of Burj Khalifa. If she sticks to the script, this will end the issue between Pinky and Eileen. Let us pray. Pinky says, ” I totally never intended to hurt you, and I really and I’m really sorry for that.” HALLELUJAH! CAN I GET AN AMEN!
Meanwhile, back at the tick infested, ranch…
Now we see the lunch with Kim, Brandi and Yolanda. Because who cares about chronology. Yolanda brought a picnic of all sorts of healthy foods. Brandi doesn’t like most of it and can’t drink grapefruit juice. Because, Xanax. Brandy wore her “It’s not fun to be sober” t-shirt and gave Kim one that said “medicated” and forgot Yolanda’s that says, “sick.” After the third use of the word ‘journey’, I just fast forwarded.
Erika gives Kathrine a makeover from her glam squad for her birthday. I could not remember how she spells her first name, so I checked my tags and categories and just now realized I never added her.
The ladies all go on a night yacht cruise for Kathrine’s birthday. Rinna has never been on a yacht. Erika says she sold her boat to get her plane. On the yacht we have two groups of three. Erika, Rinna and Eileen are rehashing the Yolanda stuff and how Pinky is behind it all. Pinky, Kyle and Kathrine. are discussing Lisa’s apology that she admits she didn’t mean and only gave to keep the peace. Well Pinky, that is the sort of thing you don’t say. You just give the apology and drop it.
Rinna wants Pinky to admit that she pitted everyone against Yolanda. Oh Rinna, I love you but you are still very naïve about Pinky. She has no remorse and will never admit what she did. Neither will Yolanda. Now that you understand the game, just play it and shut up!
Katherine’s mother called to wish her a happy birthday and everyone cries. Eileen, Rinna and Katherine all have mothers who have lost a lot of their memory. Suddenly my laptop screen is blurry. #DeepBreath Then the ladies just start discussing cuss words for some reason.
It’s time for the last dinner. You know what that means. So Rinna starts in with Pinky about her anger toward Yolanda. Rinna thinks it is about the time two years ago when Yolanda lost her mind and accused Ken of grabbing her at a gala.
Once again, for those playing along at home please remove your Pinky blinders and read slowly while subvocalizing. Kyle in her talking head says, ” Yolanda and Pinky do not like each other. IS THAT WHY LISA WANTED THE WORD MUNCHAUSEN TO GET OUT BUT FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO SAY IT?”
Pinky gets teary when discussing what Yolanda did to Ken. Eileen says that Rinna feels like Pinky set her up to take the fall for the Munchausen thing. Eileen brings up that Kyle confirmed it already. Eileen puts Kyle on the hotseat. Production has seated Kyle in between Rinna and Pinky with Eileen directly across from Kyle. Kyle is quite literally surrounded and really just wants this subject to drop. But that is not going to happen. Katherine walks away to enjoy the view. Erika follows. Everyone including Pinky knows that Kyle knows Pinky was trying to throw her under the bus. But Kyle doesn’t want trouble from Pinky. As Erika says the situatiation with Pinky in Kyle is a leveraged relationship and not a friendship. Everyone walks away and Pinky goes hard on Kyle to get her back under her thumb. Kyle is freaking out because Pinky told her to her face she was trying to get Rinna throw Kyle under the bus. She thinks Pinky is now trying to get Kyle to lie about Pinky abusing the friendship. Kyle says she would look like an abused idiot if she lied about Pinky trying to throw her under the bus.
I can’t recap this. I’m assuming you watched it. It ends with everyone pissed and Kyle angry that Pinky won’t apologize.
No one wants birthday cake, but the Chanel coin purse that Kyle gave Katherine will soothe a lot of hard feelings. The ladies have a luncheon before their flight at…wait for it… Nobu. But to be fair, there is a Nobu in the Atlantis building, so that is where they had permission to shoot.
Next week: It’s the season finale. Praise the Lyme Lord! It ends with the requisite all in party with Kim Richards there. And Yolanda shares that she is filing for divorce.