Blind Item: How The THOTs Ruined Christmas!

Things 2

 

“Have no fear, my dear cast, ” said the Carlos in the hat! “These THOTs are good THOTs!” and he gave them a pat. “They are tame. oh, so tame! They have come here to shoot! There is no possible way I can give them the boot!” Sally and I did not know what to do. so we had to shake hands with THOT One and THOT Two. We shook their two hands. but our heads said, “No! No! These two THOTs should not be on this show! Make them go!” 

Last season on this east coast reality show, the powers that be would not listen when told this THOT needs to go. Last season she attacked one female on camera and this season she has upped it to two. Last December at the finale when the ladies were supposed to be coming back together, this THOT exploded again. It could be, perhaps, that her shoes were too tight. It could be her head wasn’t screwed on just right. But what this THOT decided to do, would result in a some charges if it was me or it was you!

It seems that her friend who helped select her THOTwear  arrived with a married man she was in um, some sort of arrangement with.  So this THOT took her out the back door into an alley, and not a nice alley like on Vanderpump Rules,  an alley, alley and she beat her down. And the cameraman went outside and filmed the whole thing.  Now, I get this is a reality show, and the powers that be  seem to love having this thuggish THOT in a cocktail dress on the show, but isn’t there a moral obligation as a man to help a woman being attacked in an alley rather than film it?  But film it they did.

Things

 

Then THOT One came back onto the set and went in the bathroom and fixed her makeup for thirty minutes. Once she got herself together she popped out and grinned and giggled like nothing had ever happened and went right back to filming. By the time The Grinch arrived to steal Christmas, everyone was whispering about what happened. There was not enough coal in the box for the poor Elf on the Shelf to dole out for that THOT!

Days later, the powers that be had to figure out how to spin things in order to keep the thugette on the show.  The decision was made to send her to anger management therapy. FOR ONE WHOLE DAY.  And film it.  At the therapy, she will cry and admit that she has a problem and promise to keep her hands to herself.  This will placate the masses and the powers that be can be seen as kind to the mentally ill rather than placing their entire cast in danger every season. Everyone thinks this is a great idea!

Well,  everyone except the other women on the show. She has already attacked two cast members and the others in the cast are not going to be as non-violent as her first two victims. Word on the street is no one wants to work with her. If forced to do so, they will NOT take a non-violent approach.  They will handle the situation MY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.  They will drag a Ho. They have chocked before and will choke again. They will not be praying to Jesus to fix it.  They will not just sit there while someone is disrespecting them. If production sends this THOT back in next season, as they seem to really want to, next season will be ugly.

And it may be the final season.

“Oh dear!” said Carlos. “You did not like our game? Oh dear!  Oh dear!  What a shame! What a shame!” Then he shut up the THOTs in the box with the hook,  and Carlos  went away with a sad kind of look.  He went to the city  and said  “Now, what should I do?  We have a big problem with THOT One and THOT two!”

To be continued…

44 Comments

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44 responses to “Blind Item: How The THOTs Ruined Christmas!

  1. kellie

    Porsha…..
    I wonder if somewhere Kordell is thanking God that he dodged that bullet. I could totally see her ending up on an episode of Snapped. She thinks this behavior is cute but it’s turning me off of watching the show. She alone is seriously tanking the entire show for me.

  2. AprilTea

    Porsha Williams! Kordell said that she is a knucklehead. What happened to Porsha’s involvement with her family’s charity work? She switched to the thot life. Bye, Porsha!

  3. Best. Post. Of. The. Year!

  4. MicMac

    Enough of this thuggish behaviour.

  5. kellie

    Porsha…..
    I wonder if somewhere Kordell is thanking God that he dodged that bullet. I could totally see her on an episode of Snapped. She thinks this behavior is cute but for me personally it’s ruining the entire show. She really is tanking it for me.

  6. Rose

    Porscha! She really represents her grandfather’s legacy so well…NOT.

  7. Deb in SF

    Very well done, TT; very well done!!!

  8. newjerzeyboy

    One should never get between two THOTs fighting. So it’s Porsha, but who is the other THOT?

  9. therealdeb

    This is seriously the best post yet! Love the way it rolls! Porsha..

  10. Miguel

    This is so clever, TT… extremely well done!

  11. Normalg

    When did Atlanta get classified as the east coast? Am I retarded?

  12. FGF

    I remember Porsha’s first season when Kordell was telling her she needed to “check” Cynthia about attempting to hold a business meeting at their home. He seemed very aggressive and she seemed so impressionable. Even during the fight with Kenya in Anguilla she didn’t really swing at all. Makes me wonder if Carlos encouraged some of this and that’s why he’s fighting (pun intended) so hard to keep her.

    • Sara

      Porsha is an adult so impressionable doesn’t work for me, like it would with a toddler. Keep your hands to yourself or be charged with assault.

  13. More Tea Please!

    This was BRILLIANT TT! I should have sont the morning reading you rather than fighting with Apple about their disasteous upgrade 9.3!

  14. Matzah60

    Brilliant! You are a master writer and storyteller! What a clever way to deliver this new!! Love, love, love!!!!

  15. Josie

    Loved this!!

    THOT #1 is Porsha but who is # 2? Cant wait to find out.

  16. This was nothing short of delightful to read! I think I read it at least four times just because it was FUN! Thanks TT, you da best!

    I always thought thot 2 was Phaedra?

  17. IceColdMilk4

    Even though we all know who this is about, TT I want to commend you on the Dr. Seuss theme and the rhyming. It brought warmth to my cold, frigid heart…I found myself cackling with glee…Hoo Hoo Tee Hee!

  18. Dee

    Happy Easter y’all. I hope your day was good.
    This tea here is the best I’ve ever had! It was so clever and comical I also read it a few times like Ginger.. Thank you!! D

  19. This is sad. This woman has serious kiss. Shouldn’t someone be trying to help her? At the very least let her go. Good gravy Bravo is just hoping someone dies. I feel dirty.

  20. Carrington

    Porsha and Shamea dressed up at Thing 1 and Thing 2 at Phaedra’s Christmas party.

  21. So THOT 1 is clearly Porsha but Thot 2 sounds like either Phaedra or Nene.

    But yes Porsha does need to go but she appeals to the young and dumb that actually aspire to be like her.

    Thot 2 I guess could be shamea too but in any event
    YIKES at the idea of RHOA season 9 being it’s last. I sure hope they can go as long as they can keep good ratings.

  22. FarFromPerfekt

    This was really fun to read and you are very clever! Mahalo TT! And now I’m going to hope for more of same. ?

  23. Minky

    This post is AWESOME!!!

    I still can’t believe that nobody stopped her from beating Jami. Were the police called? If Porsha ever engages anyone in a physical altercation they can always claim self defense.

    Cynthia pushed Porsha off of her with her foot because she truly felt threatened. I would’ve tossed her over the side of the boat. She would have been an aqua-THOT.

  24. Bryn

    So what happened to the friend who was beat up??

  25. Angelbee

    Well a lil point that some of you guys are missing…”They will handle the situation MY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. They will drag a Ho. They have chocked before and will choke again. They will not be praying to Jesus to fix it. They will not just sit there while someone is disrespecting them.”….Seems to me TT might be saying Nene, Phaedra (interesting), Kandi, and Sheree are against Porsha returning and if she does return they will physically fight her back….hmmmm

  26. Aerin

    While the subject makes me sad, your post is awesome and makes me happy.

  27. marc

    Please do the next parody of Yolanda Hadid to the Dr Seuss classic I am not going to get out of bed today ; brilliant work T.T

  28. Best blind ever. One day Porsha is going to knock someone out and they may not wake up. A king hit to the head can and often does, kill. As a woman the same age as Porsha, I do not understand, nor. possess the urge to put hands on others. That has to be seriously hard wired and learned from a very young age.

    • Lime Brain

      You’re post just reminded me that Kandi’s fiancee was killed in a parking lot in a fist fight.

      It amazes me that bravo keeps her.

  29. I will drag a bitch up in here! Isn’t that what Kandi said when all those fights started when Nene hosted a grown and sexy night? Did you see Portia’s face last night when Kandi said she would have kicked her too? Lmao!

  30. GirlMe

    Its amazing she landed Celebrity Apprentice after 2 on screen fights. How will she behave herself when she gets upset there. Ratings will love her but the victim, not so much.

    Judt wish they would move her to Love & Hip Hop already so i dont have to see her again.

    Nene wont fight on camera since shes a big star. Only some1 with nothing to lose will fight Porsha on screen.

  31. Iprefermyteaunsweetend

    Is it me or does Porsha’s sister Lauren seem to have distanced herself from the train wreck that is her sister as well? Baby notwithstanding, this season I just got the vibe that Lauren was fed up with Porsha’s crazy too.

  32. minimogul

    This post was awesome!!!!

  33. V1xen79

    I know I’m late to the party but this post is Everything!!!!! I don’t even care about the blind it made me laugh remembering my dad reading Dr Seuss a child. Brilliant!

  34. Karina

    Excellent! Clever writing! You have a unique talent!

  35. I think this should be read aloud to all chirrun every Christmas Eve!

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