SHOCKING NEWS! Peter Thomas and Cynthia Bailey Are Separated! (Plus More Midnight Mortician Mocking)

Phaedra and Kandi LOL

 

Clearly, this is the day for really stupid news stories.  First we started with THIS RIDICULOUS STORY where Phaedra Parks is claiming she tirelessly works five days a week in her law office (my sources say she hasn’t been seen in donkey ears) and then she stays up at night embalming bodies and if she has any leftover bodies she does them on the weekends in between planning Saturday funerals and presumably teaching Sunday school every Sunday morning and Training Union every Sunday night.  Oh and of course her first priority is her two sons.  Oh and she also embalmed her grandmother in 2012 despite not taking any coursework until 2014. In 2014, apparently two of her friends committed suicide and her sister died and her law partner died and she thought, like any normal grieving person, “Damn, I wish I could embalm them all. That would be so awesome!”  I swear. I am not making this up. It was actually printed on Page Six!  Remember when Page Six was a site where NYC Socialites (not reality show participants) were photographed at fancypants  galas and benefits doing fancypants things because they were actual socialites and actually rich?  Today marked the day the Page Six jumped the shark for me.  Do actual rich people in NYC even know who Phaedra Parks, moonlighting undertaker is?

But I digress. Because I am still not over reading that asinine piece of  Frankensteinesque fiction. But I feel compelled to tell you that TMZ has their own ridiculous story out.  I’m used to TMZ being ridiculous though. But they have “a source” which I believe to be a made up voice in  TMZ intern’s head that cracked me the fuck up.

It breaking news is that Cynthia and Peter are separated, y’all!  You don’t say. Welcome to 2014!   But wait, there’s more.

Does Cynthia Bailey Have What it Takes to Get Picked Up for Season Five?

 

Remember back in August of 2014 when Peter Thomas and Kordell Stewart opened Sports One in Charlotte, North Carolina?  Of course you do! Because who was there to film the opening? Claudia Jordan,  Cynthia Bailey, Kenya Moore, and some of the other unimportant housewives.  Remember Claudia and Kordell sort of fake flirting because it’s fun to piss of Porsha?

Anyway, Kordell quickly and quietly bailed on Sports One (something happened he didn’t like.  Perhaps a financial source he didn’t want to be involved with? /cough)  and Peter was the only owner in town and quickly relocated to Charlotte.  Pretty much the only time he would come home was when RHOA was filming. Because who wants a peach more than any bitch working it to get a peach? Peter.  Peter Thomas is DYING for a peach.  So many sites call him Peachter that he once showed up at a reunion with a peach.  Peter got Cynthia on the show and she moved from NYC for RHOA because Peter really, really, really, really, really wanted to do the show.  Peter married Cynthia on the show, because he really, really, really, really wanted a wedding by Bravo like all the housewives he so wants to be.  Peter was called a little bitch by Nene, who used to like him, because Peter kept trying to upstage Nene in her big scenes.  Did I mention how very desperately Peter wants a peach? Because I am going somewhere with this.

Dude, you fucked up.

But first, (said in my best Julie Chen voice)  I need to remind you that Peter is also trying to get his own show like Vanderpump Rules set at Sports One in Charlotte.  I’ve seen casting calls for such a thing going out in Charlotte. He is doing it on his own hoping to have a reel to send in to Bravo,  best I can tell. He is also “in the process” (since 2014) of opening TWO MORE bars in Charlotte.  WHERE HE HAS LIVED SINCE 2014!

He also threatened to divorce Cynthia in 2013 because she gained weight due to fibroids.  Yet he keeps hanging with her because HE WANTS TO BE ON RHOA! It’s basically THE ONLY TIME HE IS IN ATLANTA! BECAUSE HE REALLY REALLY WANTS A PEACH!

I hear you saying, yes Tamara we get it. We read here all the time. We watch the show. We are not idiots. Why do you keep stating the obvious? So here is why.

Tonight TMZ  posted that Cynthia and Peter are separated.  Um DUH!  But it gets worse.

This is what TMZ sources are telling them, ” We’re told it’s been this way for months, (try years) because Peter decided he doesn’t want to do ‘Housewives’ anymore. He thinks the show drama — which has focused on their marital issues — is making it too hard to patch things up when cameras are off.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH!  The big boys have been posting some stupid shit today.  I try not to mock other sites that are run but one person, but  Page Six and TMZ are big commercial sites.  And they have been SOFA KING hilarious today I just had to mock them to the gods and back share.

51 Comments

Filed under Cynthia Bailey, Dumbasses, Entertainment News, Peter Thomas, Phaedra Parks, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA

51 responses to “SHOCKING NEWS! Peter Thomas and Cynthia Bailey Are Separated! (Plus More Midnight Mortician Mocking)

  1. Well, that was a lot of tea. Thanks Tamara.

    • Meri

      Great recap. I can’t stand Cynthia or Peter and wonder what took her so long to dump the idiot. As for Phaedra…yuck. I am not interested in what happens to Cynthia and hope that she leaves her ex alone…he seems like a nice guy. The show sucks and there is nothing interesting to see. The constant back-stabbing and bickering is getting old and I wish that we had Nene and Kim Z. to watch and enjoy again. At least they were fun.

      • Psylocke

        You seem like a really fun person yourself.

      • Spilledperfume

        You just made me laugh out loud.

      • tamaratattles

        So, to recap, your comments today, RHOA sucks, RHOBH sucks, RHOOC sucks, Scandal sucks, and Grey’s Anatomy sucks. I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say we value your articulate opinions. We have all noted them and understand that you will no longer be reading about these terrible shows you hate anymore. We understand. You have other more enjoyable ways to spend your time. But we shall never forget this valuable insight.

  2. Spilledperfume

    I guess Peter won’t be getting his happy ending that was interrupted by Noelle & Leon.

    All kidding aside, someone on here refers to Peter as Papa Smurf and it cracks me up because it’s the perfect nickname for him.

  3. Lisaj

    And here comes Cynthia’s storyline, yawn.

  4. Minky

    Ha! Maybe Phaedra can represent Cynthia during the divorce proceedings? And they can call Porsha as a witness to testify about how Peter pays his waitresses. And Bravo can do a show about it! It’ll be like “Divorce Court” meets Maury Povich meets Jerry Springer. Andy can be the judge and they can have a handsome bailiff mixing drinks in the corner. I’d totally watch that.

  5. ShyGuy

    This tea was good but I’ll be back in a couple of months when the rest is spilled and believe me there’s more. Peace ✌

    • Jim

      Peter and Cynthia are still married? Seriously, this marriage should have been dissolved years ago. Or maybe it should have never happened

  6. jen

    Damn. You are hilarious! These housewives are just so unbelievably fame hungry. I do feel bad for Cynthia though. What a dick.

    • FAME HUNGRY?? FAME HUNGRY??? Hell (can I say that), I know this is about Cynthia and Peach-Peter BUT I have never seen anyone so threatened about loosing any of her fan base (a.k.a. fame) as Kenya is in relation to the newest cast member Kim Fields. Kenya is terrified that the other cast members (and fans in general) will like and relate to Ms. Fields WAY MORE than anyone ever related to Kenya. Kenya is willing to pull as many shenanigans as she feels necessary to keep her mug in front of the camera regardless of how childish, how desperate, and how Sociopath self-centered her behavior makes her look.

  7. Peter and Apollo were in cahoots somehow.. Peter is the one who told Cynthia about Mr. Chocolate b/c he heard it from Apollo first! Apollo was always calling Peter collect when he first went in.. Peter was smart enough to get the heck out of dodge when the house of cards came crumbling down. I wonder what Peter promised Apollo in return for Apollo allowing him to stick his hand in the fraudulent cookie jar?? Allegedly.

  8. Christina

    I bet she wishes her marriage certificate was still on the fridge now!

  9. Rach

    Very sad that they’re separated as deep down I always try to root for the underdog, however I’m not surprised. Maybe Cynthia can get back with Leon. Wishful thinking?

  10. Don't Drink the Water

    Umm…Cynthia and Peter got married because Cynthia wanted to secure her spot on RHOA. Amazed that people could not see that they were never a couple that were in love.I cant think of one scene that Cynthia was able to even act as if they were in love, she has zero acting skills. Cynthia showed more love to Leon then Peter on the show. My team has always stated that the marriage was for the show only. Nene was more in love with Peter then Cynthia during their marriage ceremony. Cynthia is an opportunist who wanted her peach and fame. She was a model yes, but no where near as known as she is now.

  11. Cat

    Peter and the Peach. Sounds like a kid’s storybook.

    Maybe Peter will become the next Caitlyn? That surely should get him /her his/her own show?

    As for Phaedra, maybe she is a serial killer, and no one has noticed? Sounds like a lot of people dropping dead around her.

    That could be a whole new angle for Andy. Hmmm…Angle for Andy…another storybook.

    • Minky

      That’s what I was thinking. Either she’s lying about all the people who’ve commented suicide, which wouldn’t surprise me as she is a known liar, or these people maybe saw no way out of a situation that Phaedra put them in and couldn’t deal with the prospect of being in prison.

      If you look at Stanton’s story it’s kinda tragic. She had to give birth to her child while strapped to a prison bed. Can you imagine all of the emotions she experienced during that? And we only know about that story because Stanton was bold enough to tell it to the world. Imagine how many others Phaedra’s used and discarded. I’d want to expose Phaedra’s evil ass too.

      • Spilledperfume

        I’ll have to read that book at some point. I don’t know anything about it except for the few things I’ve read here. How awful to give birth while strapped to a bed.

  12. Morgan

    Great tea. I’ve been reading your blog since I was in college Tamara! My girlfriends and I would read on week nights in the dorm and discuss all the tea you shared! Thank you for the laughs!!

  13. R.S

    Peter actually made the comment about not returning to the show in an interview with Atlien from SFTA, that is where TMZ got that information.

  14. pdt090

    Phaedra only has one sister and she’s still very much alive, so not sure what that’s all about.

  15. Cheychey

    I think Cynthia should divorce that fool and move back to New York. If she wants to continue doing the housewives she can join the cast there. Leave all the ratchet bunch behind in Atlanta its really not her style. She really should give baby daddy Leon a call they seem so good together.

  16. Matzah60

    Wow! You couldn’t make up shit like this! Thanks for all the fun-filled facts, TT. I never realized Peter got Cynthia on the show! I guess that’s how he cajoled her into accepting his marriage proposal. I guess Nene was right. Peter is a bitch, or at least a wannabe bitch.

    I find it so odd that Phaedra has chosen to put this story out now about her 24/7 work week including teaching Sunday school. I am beginning to think that Phaedra’s mother is a charleton of sorts. Perhaps her mom/preacher? Is in on this scheme of Phaedra. With all the nannies Phaedra has, why is her mother present every day??

    As for Phaedra’s law business, I have never heard of a single person in the entertainment business who used Phaedra except Bobby Brown and that story is getting old and tired. I think this funeral/embalming business is another illegal scheme of hers. Something is awry with this crazy story.

    Thanks for the juicy news, Tamara!!

    • Drinkthediamondwater

      Let’s not forget the foundation she started for young boys. When does she manage to fit her charity work into here busy schedule? Then I am sure she spends ample time daily doing her Phine Booty workout. She must be Super Woman!

      • I suspect she would also like to rise into the political world, which in my opinion, would be disastrous, since she’s an obvious race baiter.

  17. crampina

    Matzah60 , my guess is Phaedra’s Mom is around everyday because she wants to be with her grandbabies but due to her obesity and age needs the younger healthier women to help her with the boys. She couldn’t catch Dylan if he ran away somewhere. I am sure she tires out quickly.

  18. Meredith

    I love Cynthia and Leon together. I think she recently called him her soul mate. I know we dont know what goes on behind closed doors but i thought he was sort of a calming influence and definitely not its all about me lije i tend to get from peter.

    • Pat

      I agree. The chemistry between Cynthia and Leon is off the charts, and his love for the shows all over his face. I would love to see them give their relationship a second try once Peter is out if the picture.

  19. Meredith

    I love cynthia and leon together. I think she called him her soul mate. I know we dont know what goes on behind closed doors but i sense that he has a calming influence. He doesnt seem to be all about him as opposed to what i feel comes from peter, as charasmatic as he might be.

  20. Spilledperfume

    Ewww, I would never describe Peter as charismatic. Am I the only one who thinks he’s gross? My skin crawls at the thought of him.

    • Minky

      I’ll admit, I used to think that Peter was marginally attractive. Mostly because of his “smoove move” schtick and because you can tell he was probably a lot better looking when he was young.

      Now he’s nothing short of detestable. I’m sorry I gotta say it: Peter treats Cynthia like a pimp treats one of his hoes. Not even his bottom bitch, but just a regular hoe. And she just took it without the least bit of protest. It was sad to watch.

      • Matzah60

        Me too, Minky. There was something very attractive about Peter when I first started watching the show. Sadly, his demeaning and dismissive treatment of Cynthia has made him totally unappealing to watch. Three years ago, I wouldn’t know what a bottom or regulate hoe was, so I had to laugh when I read what you wrote. Not because it wasn’t true, but I have acquired a new found urban vocabulary that I never understood before. I have learned so much from the HW franchise, NOT!

      • Back in the day, I really liked Peter too. I thought he was really foine, and I could see what Cynthia saw in him, but now…not very much. I liked how he stood up to Nene. I think Peter needs a very strong willed woman that won’t put up with his shit. Cynthia is way too meek for someone like Peter…he has run all over her.

    • I could never understand the attraction with Peter over Leon who is a hunk. He has the sexiest smile, that Peter has always disgusted me with his trashy mouth. What Cynthia ever saw in him amazed me , but she is so dinghy anyways. Anyone who can be friends with that narcissistic Kenya, who irritates me with her ugly ways, and not attractive at all.

  21. Wanda

    I can see why Cynthia’s mother and sister wanted to stop her from marrying Peter. They already knew he was sheisty.

  22. When these Peter and Cynthia stories keep raising their ugly heads, I can’t help but remember the reunion when Cynthia was basically giving Peter a hall pass because of her fibroids. It was like she was saying, since I can’t do the sexy time with him, then I owe him to let him do it with someone else. It was very awkward watching it, and all the girls seemed almost speechless…which in itself speaks volumes. Who does that? Um, Cynthia does, I guess. It showed me a marked lack of respect and dignity for herself to even consider such a thing, and it showed Peter as a cad to allow her to feel that way to begin with. She didn’t feel well, and was probably being pressured by Peter, but still, she didn’t have to go there with him. That’s when cast iron skillets come in handy. kidding/not kidding

    That marriage could use a mercy killing.

    • Matzah60

      Coming from a place of “Cynthia” many years ago, I agree with all you said. Peter criticized her weight, his displeasure with the amount of times they had sex, her outfits, and even her friends and family. In time, it erodes your self-confidence feeling that this man you married is the best you can do. Ultimately, you hit a new low and realize you can’t save the marriage and more importantly, it isn’t worth saving.

      • Minky

        With the Peter and Cynthia situation I can’t help but be reminded of a “read” I overheard a woman give to her boyfriend over the phone one day while I was at work. It was delivered as follows:

        “Oh no the fuck you not gonna do me like that motherfucker! I ain’t yo bitch! You da bitch! As a matter of fact that’s how I got you listed on my phone. And I got a lot of bitches on my phone; Stupid Bitch, Crazy Bitch, Weak Bitch. But you? You just Bitch.”

        I think that’s what Cynthia should say to Peter.

      • Matzah60

        Thanks for sharing, Minky! I think that would be awesome if Cynthia could muster the courage to say just that to Peter!! :)

    • Librarygirl

      I dated a man who was/is a dead ringer for Peter, 30 odd years ago. So, I thought that Peter was an attractive guy when I first saw him on the show. But, his actions, and Cynthia’s door mat routine were a turn off for me, for both of them. Cynthia can do better, but she does not seem to be aware of that.

  23. hannahkingrose

    All I want to know is why we poor people in North Carolina keep getting these rejects. First TT tells us that Jenelle from Teen Moms has moved back and could possibly be working in a hospital or nursing home near me. Now it’s confirmed that Peter is in North Carolina for good. Crap who’s next? Brandi or Porsha even? Probably Joe Guidice will be held for deportation here. OMG give us a break PLEASE!

  24. Josie

    Thanks for that refreshing tea!

    I sure hope Cynthia had a prenup. I dont see Peachter going away quietly.

  25. Pat

    I looooove Minky’s comment. ROFWL!

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