I’ve been staring at this Page Six story someone sent me for quite some time. I am literally speechless. The first thing I did was note the author, Jaclyn Hendricks so I know to disregard anything with her name on it. Clearly this writer must be a fan of Phaedra. She is scary proof that there are people out there that are buying what Phaedra is selling. Then I looked her up on Twitter. I asked her if this piece was supposed to run on April 1st. I wasn’t be sarcastic. I was dead serious. It’s unfathomable to me that someone could take this post seriously. Phaedra Parks Practices Law by Day, Embalms Bodies At Night is the most hilarious tabloid headline ever. It’s less plausible than a headline about a Yeti sighting with a grainy picture of someone in a white fur in the distance, (Oh Lord, I’ve triggered the fur judgment. Is it okay to wear fur if you are a Yeti?)
Anyway, not to be all dramatic but my heart is being wonky today (no big deal it just happens sometimes it just makes me not feeling like blogging much) so I’m just going to post this whole thing in its entirety because every single word is…just astounding.
Phaedra Parks‘ 9-to-5 combines her two passions: the law and the dead.
“I practice law five days a week, and if I’m embalming a body, it’s usually overnight,” the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star told Page Six Thursday. “It’s the quietest time of the night that you’re doing the embalming work.”
The 44-year-old mom of two, who embalmed her own grandmother in 2012, also shared that she’s able to divide her time because the ventures are so different.
“The funeral business is really an overnight and weekend business,” Parks explained. “Saturday is the funeral day for people of color, usually. And of course, the courthouses and law firms are closed on Saturdays.”
Her desire to work in the funeral industry stemmed from back-to-back years of non-stop tragedy.
“I went through a very terrible time about two years straight. My sister passed, my law partner died and two of my friends committed suicide,” she said. “I became so depressed that it sparked something in me, to really research and start hanging out at the funeral home, just to figure out the process.”
I mean I just don’t know where to start. Pheadra is currently on her prayer cloth tour. Neighbors say she left Tuesday afternoon with a ton of luggage. The woman has not been to her office in years, allegedly. If she even still has one. She left her two little priorities with two sitters, her mama wasn’t there so maybe she on the prayer cloth tour as well. Who embalms their own grandmother? She has not even been to embalming college or whatever the fuck she went to back then.
The author may as well have said she just interviewed a couple of Martians about interplanetary marriage and other ways of their people and just tossed it up there like it was a perfectly normal thing to say.
I’ll revisit this again, but right now this is not helping my blood pressure. But please someone explain this. Is she trying to claim her “income” as an attorney? And an undertaker? Is this some sort of tax thing? WTF is her angle now?