Catfish Recap: Jaylin & Ja’la

Catfish Jaylin and Ja'la

First of all, the names this week already let me know this is a shit show. Teachers have noticed patterns with names where certain names will notoriously be a problem.  In one school we had maybe eight variation of the name. Jaylen, Jailen, Jalin, and my personal favorite, Jailin. Some were boys, some were girls and they were all trouble.  Now kids who are trouble are my personal favorite, so I loved them all and would be the only teacher who would take them into her class for “time-outs.”  Other signs from a name that you are going to have a trying kid is an apostrophe in the name. You don’t need an apostrophe in a name. It’s right up there with names that end in “i”.  Max says that if Ja’la lived in Latin America her name could be  Haaaaa lah!  See?

Jalin is the dude and Ja’la is the catfish.  Jalin is ready to quit his job and move to Wyoming (The fuck?) to be with Ja’la who he has never even spoken with on the phone. Jalin is 20 he lives in Ohio.  He “met” Ja’la  three years ago on Facebook when the site suggested her as a friend. She is his first love despite never having spoken to her on the phone or Facetimed with her. He works on video games with a partner. I suspect the partner is Ja’la. I’m assuming that he is male. I am also assuming that these two are both in on it to get their video game on Catfish.

Jalin is extremely intelligent and quite cute. And if he develops video game software I think he knows how to get on the Internet and use Google.  Oh, Jalen says he did do a reverse photo search and nothing showed up but the profile he is talking to.

Max and Nev leave and both say, it’s a guy.  I agree. I think it is his business partner. He’s gay, he’s in the closet and if they are going to be together it would have to be in Wyoming because no one would ever run across them out there. Because, Wyoming.  OTOH. Isn’t Wyoming where men or men and sheep are nervous?  I think they picked Wyoming because no black people they know live in Wyoming. Because, Wyoming.  I say Jalin and his partner are totally catfishing the show.  The partner could also be a female and that is why they haven’t spoken in three years, because he would recognize her voice.

Catfish Jaylin and Ja'la 2

When the boys find all of Ja’la’s (another reason not to have a fucking apostrophe in your name!)  real information they find out that she is a track star in Wyoming (the fuck?) and the same girl in the photos. But she has a boyfriend. She is originally from Ohio but attending Wyoming U for track.  She and her boyfriend have matching tattoos.  So the dude (or maybe it is a chick?) that he is doing the video game with is pretending to be the track girl in the photos. He/she probably went to high school with her, where she was probably very popular.

The guy goes to Jalin’s house which has been cleaned by production to get rid of anything trademarked and everyone is in their shirt with no logos. Including J.P, who is the male business partner.  It’s him. It’s totally him.  They of course showed the video game. J.P. Is acting all belligerent that Jalin would move to Wyoming while they are working on a business deal.  J.P is not invited to the debriefing meeting. Which is odd. The random friend usually gets to hear all the updates.

Jalin plays the shocked card well. Not too dramatic, but slightly teary-eyed with a furrowed brow. Nice work Jalin.  So It’s time to call the Catfish. Neve doesn’t bother to go outside and talk privately because production has told him no one will be answering. Why hasn’t Jalin, the smart kid that he is ever tried to call the number? Because he’s in on the whole thing.  And there is no voicemail set up. So he starts texting the catfish and the real girl.  This show has so jumped the shark on water skis while wearing a leather jacket.

Hearing nothing, the guys do what any normal person would do. They all head to Wyoming to meet the real Ja’la. Because, a Max said, “Wynot?” The fact that they are flying to Wyoming makes me doubt my theory. Remember the production team always knows who the catfish is before they even start filming the show. It seems pointless for them to fly three people to Wyoming unless Ja’la has something to do with the situation.  Maybe Jalin is her dirty little secret from her track start boyfriend?

Everso conveniently the guys stalk the real Ja’la on social media just as she posts a photo of her lunch and where she is eating. What a lucky break! #eyeroll  So off they go to a place called Tap which they have publicized A LOT but they still aren’t allowed to film in there. So Nev goes in to get Ja’la.  Ja’la comes out and  Nev asks if she knows this guy. She says, “yeah” and tells Jalin “You really were talking to me!”  Because that is the first thing you say to someone you’ve been in a relationship with for three years online. Le sigh.

Ja’la says she met him in high school, her parents would not approve because he is older than she is and her dad is a preacher. Um, dude is not even old enough to buy alcohol yet and you are in college. This is some bullshit. Preacher daddy would have been fine with this kid, he intelligent, clean cut, well-mannered and I have yet to see his drawers.  Jalin says he doesn’t understand how she could have gone on with this for three years. Maybe she is trying for a reality show? I they spent a lot of time on the black female track star in Wyoming angle, and she’s cute.

She conveniently has broken up with her boyfriend now. The boyfriend was probably  a brother and the matching tattoos are crosses.

These two suck at improve. Jalin has some acting chops. Ja’la not so much. Jalin’s wardrobe person did him a huge disservice putting him in sweatpants. I’m going to assume that he wore jeans with big logos like FUBU or something and they had to hand him sweats at the last minute.  He is way too good looking to be messing with this chick.

So the next day they go to meet at a park. They haven’t been doing as many final meetings in park next to a large body of water lately. I assume cameras were not allowed on campus. Ja’la has some janky edges/babyhair. I’m just sayin’.

Oh, pants sagging, Jalin? That was the first wrong thing you did. But no  underwear, so we’re good.

Jalin had some alone time with Ja’la in the hotel and then went home and dumped her.  I think it is the weird baby hair.

I don’t believe what we just saw was anything but a promotion for the video game.

Oh and sorry J.P. for thinking it was you. But that would have been a much better story.

And this was the smartest Jalin I’ve ever “met.”  If that is his real name…

P.S. I wait to pull photos after watching so I won’t be spoiled. When I just did that, I see MTV is spelling his name Jaylin, my  TV Guide had it listed as Jalin. #OOPS.

5 Comments

Filed under Catfish, Dumbasses, Entertainment News

5 responses to “Catfish Recap: Jaylin & Ja’la

  1. Spilledperfume

    I’ll have to watch the repeat when it airs in an hour. I want to see what baby hair/weird edges look like.

  2. Cheychey

    You explained it exactly right. Baby hairs like chilli from the group TLC back in the 90’s so that tells you how long ago baby hairs were cute. I thought it was gonna be the best friend cat fishing him also cause he was secretly in love with him. I was stuck surprised when the girl said she was actually the one talking to him when she came out the restaurant. I really thought someone had stolen her identity online.

  3. Stacey E.

    So wait, he’s upset that she’s real? It would only be okay to limit contact if she misrepresented herself? You’re probably right, just wants to be on TV.

Please Read the COMMENTING RULES before commenting.