It’s the last episode of RHOA before the three part finale and I’m okay with that. This Christmas party we are going to see tonight was filmed a couple weeks after all the other filming wrapped. I thought that was weird at the time. Let’s see how we end this.
OMG! Phaedra is calling in Dwight to plan the Christmas party! I love Dwight!
For some reason we are going to a cemetery with Todd and Kandi to put flowers on Todd’s mother’s grave. I’m just not feeling all the death and dying stuff that seems to be everywhere lately.
Porsha and Phaedra are talking about how the FEDs magically appeared at Kandi and Todd’s house to seize Apollo’s big boy toys. Phaedra is acting like she doesn’t know a thing about that.
We are ten minutes in and I haven’t had anything to say. Part of me was mesmerized trying to watch Phaedra make a sweet potato soufflé. At one point she got a lemon out of the refrigerator. A lemon! And she started out using a frying pan. Sigh.
Matt’s presentation of Twirl and King to Kenya was cute. She didn’t seem surprised at all, but then she says that they had picked out the puppies and watched them on puppie cam until they were weaned from their mother. I took the opportunity to let the dog out during the crying over the dead dog scene. Enough with the death and dying storyline!
I didn’t know that Kenya grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness. No holidays, no birthday celebrations, nothing allowed. I had a student once who was a Jehovah’s Witness and she participated in the spelling bee and was the youngest contestant. I was so proud of her and I bought her a book as “a present” and it caused a lot of drama and angst. That is hard thing for kids when they literally have to go sit in the library alone when there is any sort of classroom celebration. Kenya and Matt are adorable. Twirl is too. She is the one that gets into every thing. I could have sworn she got those dogs for her birthday in January… Is this a scene that was shot after filming wrapped and after the Christmas party?
Cynthia is trying to make up believe that she and Peter are back in a good place after the Jamaica trip. She has set up a massage table for him and offered him a massage with a very happy ending. So Peter gets buck nekkid and I think I’d rather have another cemetery scene than this. Cynthia is basically giving him a hand job on camera when Leon and Noelle walk in the door unexpectedly. She had already left with her dad but apparently she forgot something. #Awkward
Next we get to go to the gynecologist with Porsha. Really? Two cemeteries, a hand job and Porsha’s hoohah? This may be the worst episode ever.
Dwight seems to be choosing lovely Christmas decorations. The party seems to be happening at a store. At the party there is a display piece for Ayden to sit and be the “elf on a shelf” and hand out coal to all the ladies. Starting with his mother. Oh and Phaedra brought what appears to be the midget strippers, I mean little people strippers, from some event a few seasons ago in elf costumes. If these women strip… I’m telling you right now, it is all I can do to get through this episode. I’d have to draw the line at midget strippers.
Speaking of costumes, Porsha and Shamea came as THOT1 and THOT2. All I can think of is if that costume stayed on when she was beating down some girl who came to the party with a married man that Porsha had dealings with. Tammy was there with her…son? Nene and Gregg arrived together, with Gregg following his requisite three steps behind her. Nene Leakes makes fun of Dwight getting a nose job in her talking head? Seriously? Nene has had multiple nose jobs and every time she gets one, it grows back three times bigger. I swear that is a medical mystery and it’s going turn out she has some sort of problem going on.
Kandi missed the Jamaica trip so this is her first time to see Nene on camera since the reunion. They only time she had seen her previously was when Cynthia, Kenya and Kandi were out to dinner. Nene spoke to Cynthia and ignored the other two. Those three out to dinner together is interesting .
I don’t know why we have to hear about Bob sleeping with Tammy, again. This whole situation is fake. Bob says he has brain trauma and can’t remember what he said about Tammy.
Kenya arrives in Grinch outfit with the green hair. It’s kind of hilarious.
Todd, Peter and Chris are have a bit of man talk. Peter asks Todd if Phaedra ever paid up what she owed. She did not.
Nene comes to sit next to Kandi. It’s awkward. Nene wants to make amends with Kandi. Kandi says they can just push the reet button.
Perhaps more distressing even than watching Cynthia jerk off Peter under a towel is the conversation with Kim. She is so duped by Phaedra. I like Kim and I hate seeing her cozying up to the snake.
Kenya chats up Cynthia and Sheree about the FEDs coming to Kandi’s house. Cynthia drops another bomb saying they came to her house too. It was the Secret Service! Kandi talks to Nene about Phaedra sending the FEDs to her house. She says that they had deliveries going on because they are setting up the baby’s room. The FEDs tried to block the delivery guy from leaving with his truck because they thought they were trying to get Apollo’s stuff out before they came.
Am I the only one that thinks it’s shady that Phaedra had Chris tap dance at the party?
In the end notes they say about Kenya, that Moore Manor is almost complete and rumor has it she is working on a nursery. Kim’s endnote was sort of shady. They inform us that Kim will be on DWTS but so far “no word on how she’ll handle childcare while cross country. Cynthia says her marriage is still a work in progress. Phaedra is keeping her romantic life private until the divorce is final.