The Not So Daily Tea: An Open Forum

tea-for-life-2
It’s been a while since we had an open forum. I have no great news to report on the #Healthy2016 front. I did buy new running shoes. If I could put them on the treadmill, that would be great progress.

Is anyone still watching How To Get Away with Murder?  I think that Shonda has finally driven it into the ground. She has a tendency to drive good things into the ground after a while. The flashbacks are driving me crazy.

Did anyone watch Downton Abby?

What up in your neck of the woods?

roma_tomato

Is it too soon to mention it’s time to start playing in your dirt for your annual mandatory planting of the tomatoes? I didn’t get to that today.  But I did throw some random parsley seeds I found in a pot.

And so it begins, again.

208 Comments

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208 responses to “The Not So Daily Tea: An Open Forum

  1. GirlMe

    So happy to vent. I’m so disappointed in Caitlyn. She had a great platform to advance the plight of trans people and instead she thinks she’s still a rich white guy inside and out. She seems as vapid as Jenny Boylen said and is only interested in makeup and clothes.

    Wouldve been great if she really understood what its like to be trans then she could use her powers for good. Glad the LGBT community booed her and recognize she is not representing them.

    Usually i hate when 1 person is suppose to represent a whole race like Tiger Woods, Obama, etc. But in this instance her support for people who HATE her is sickening. Its like a free slave praising his oppressor during and after slavery. Hate caitylin. Gonna boo her from now on.

    Thx hope its ok. Nothing else going on except waiting for A&Es new show. 60 Days In is a MUST SEE. sooo good.

    • I agree with everything you have said. I think her voice actually Sou fa more like Bruce when she is arguing politics. I would totally watch a show with just Candis Cayne about her act and life.

    • Brittany

      Agree with your post. My 14 year old daughter just told me she feels she is transgender. If I’m being honest I just wish she would change her mind simply because I worry for her and how people will treat her. It’s kind of like a loss. But I love her and I’m sure we will be fine.
      Must plant cucumbers and tomatoes this year. They are so good out of the backyard. Lots of good books to read. Just started Guests on Earth by Lee Smith. Great NC author. Also have The Nightingale, Mademoiselle Chanel, and Andy Warhol was a Hoarder. I keep buying books and I haven’t finished any of them.
      And finally, I truly hate the UNC Tarheels. It’s very bad when you’re pulling for VA.

      • Tara

        I am in NC too!
        My team -Duke lost to my x boyfriends alma mater, Notre Dame.
        Brittany, it is such a different world today versus the world we grew up in. Which is a good thing in many ways, don’t get me wrong. I can not imagine being a teen with all the social media. Thank God!! There were no camera phones when I was growing up. I admire your attitude towards your daughter. I am sure y’all are a great team

        I have been busy working, raising a 10 year old boy that thinks he is 17. My Dad is in the hospital. He is actually my step dad which makes him extra special because he chose to raise me as his own. I pray that he gets healthier soon.

        Y’all enjoy the end of your weekend and thank you TT for being you.

      • tamaratattles

        Brittany, your daughter may or may not be transgender. I suggest you get her to a counselor, but one who is kind of California liberal. If she is then, you need to be supportive. Or maybe she doesn’t want to tell you she is gay and with Caitlyn and all the current brouhahah about transgender, she thinks it’s cool or easier.

        I don’t think public perception is really nearly the problem it once was. I’d just tell her if she is gay, or transgender, or just questioning, you will love and support her no matter what. And if you are a rich Hispanic or jew have a huge party appropriate to either in the next year or two and hire a hot boy band. :)

      • Brittany

        Thanks Tara and TT. She is my only child and a total sugar lump. Regardless of what she does or feels I love her and will support her. I will also throat punch anyone who is mean to her. Ha! The saddest part is that she cried and cried just the other day because she said she was worried that I would love her less and not want her in my life. It seems so heavy for my innocent 14 year old to really worry about these things. She has a counselor because she has been diagnosed with anxiety/depression. Currently her counselor doesn’t really think she is transgender as much as trying to find where she fits in in this world. Also, she’s an artist and fits the “sensitive artist” thing. I also thought that she might be gay and just didn’t want to tell me. However, she is boy crazy! She primarily likes biracial boys. She’s a very cool and interesting person for sure and I adore her. Okay….sorry to rant in such a long post but it feels really good to be able to talk about it.

        Also…has anyone checked out Long Lost Family? It’s tough on the heart strings.

      • Tara

        Aww Brittany!
        When I spoke to my Mama this morning she said ” Good morning sugar lump”
        You seem to have it together! Way to go Mom.
        I am not sure what part of NC you live in – I live in Knightdale, raised in Fuquay. Both very small, conservative, southern Baptist towns. I lived on the beach for many years after college, marriage, child, when I decided to leave me x husband I came home. The only thing I miss about Wilmington, people there have more of an open mind. No matter what though, it seems that most grown females are concerned with making sure they have the latest Lilly Pulitzer print by Easter Sunday.
        At the end of it all, it really does not matter where y’all live as long as you have each other. Yes, I talk to myself as a type-write-talk to others- umm I shall stop.
        I LOVE Long Lost Family!! If it is not real please don’t tell me, I love shows like this. I did P.I. work in college, these were my favorite types of cases. If I could have just found lost love ones and been able to pay my light bill, I would still be doing it today. I strongly disliked domestic cases (finding out if a spouse is having an affair), it was so depressing.
        I hope y’all have a wonderful Sunday.

      • Brittany

        Tara, Thanks for the kind words!
        I’m right outside of Goldsboro. We’re about 45 minutes apart. That is so funny your Mama calls you that too!

      • Erica

        Brittany – a high school friend of mine is a transgender male. Not to give too many details, I do know he said his parents found groups like PFLAG immensely helpful after he came out to them (for the second time – announce he was lesbian about 10 years before, much like Chaz Bono’s journey, minus the flamboyant famous mom!) His parents now march every year in the local pride parade (its fairly family friendly) and usually help run the PFLAG outreach booth.

        If your daughter is really your son, or she is lesbian, or decides the pronoun “they” fits better because they are gender non-conforming or is just questioning everything including gender and sexuality because she’s an over thinker, you might find therapy and support groups good for you too!

        Good luck on your journey together.

      • Brittany

        Thanks for the information Erica. I have never heard of PFLAG so I will definitely research that. I am grateful for the open relationship my daughter and I have. I am glad she trusts me enough to tell me her thoughts and feelings. But a group that has been where I am now would be really helpful and nice. Thanks again!

      • Xanadude

        Brittany – contact your local LGBT Center, which in your case is CAR – Center for Artistic Revolution based in Little Rock.
        They will have mucho info for both you and your child.

      • Brittany

        Thanks Xanadude. I think something that she and I can do together would be great as well. And I want her to have as much information as she can so that she can make the right decisions for herself. I appreciate all the advice!

    • BeetsWhy

      GirlMe, I just found 60 Days In by accident earlier tonight…I am beyond hooked! I looked at the upcoming times and was so happy to see we get the next three eps this week! And oh boy is Robert in trouble, his arrogance is off the charts! I’m also worried about Tami’s tattoo…

      TT are you watching? It’s on A&E.

      • GirlMe

        BeetsWhy thanks for the headsup. Ill look out for them. Robert is so cocky with his weird questions. He needed this “you’re annoying even as an adult” wakeup call.

        The pampered life girl with “prison is useless” is so clueless. Like she wants people commiting crimes and not getting punished living next to her. Really girl!

        Only thing I worry about is that they are ratting on temporary stay jail people, not in forever prison people. Why did they use their own google name.

      • tamaratattles

        YES! But I am unclear when the new episodes air! It’s AMAZING.

    • redbluegreen

      well said! I completely agree.

    • Her political beliefs are really crazy. She wants Cruz!

    • tamaratattles

      OMG! OMG! OMG! 60 Days In on A&E is SOOO Good. I hope my DVR is set right. When does it air? I may have just recorded a rerun of the first show and not set a series recording.

      Also, I’m not hating Caitlyn for her political views. She WAS a white man all of her life and functioned and voted as such. I think everyone screaming at her that she is doing it wrong is unrealistic. She’s been a white man with a penis all “her” life. She’s sixty something now and addressing a gender identity disorder that would have never been possible in her teens or twenties. She’s not a woman. She is a person who has been a man with male privileges all her life. She won the fucking decathlon AS A MAN. Because she was BORN MALE. Her sex remains MALE and always will be. These other trans women dealt with their GID much earlier. The bitch doesn’t have that much time on earth. If she wants to finally identify with the gender she feels she is, I think we should all just let her do it and not make her the spokesperson for anything. Because she is STILL transitioning. I am most offeneded by cosmetic companies and such that are trying to exploit this process. And I’m disappointed with her for taking the exploitation for money, which she does not need. And for doing a reality show. If you have , what, maybe ten years to be female? Relish them privately in your big fancy house and leave the famewhoring to your crappy born female family members.

      • BeetsWhy

        TT, I watched the first 2hr ep of 60 on A&E OnDemand, the next 2 of 3 eps are also listed as reruns, not sure why. Be aware when you set your DVR.

      • Brittany

        Wow! That’s exactly my position on Caitlyn. Bruce was always very conservative and I don’t think your feelings change overnight. And he has always led a privileged life. I would also live the rest of my life privately, but not in hiding. The exploitation feels very dirty.

      • JoJoFLL

        Who knew Caitlyn was the biggest famewhore of them all?

        Kind of like when Michael Jackson died and he ended up being the most sane Jackson of them all.

      • But Caitlins ability to come out and be accepted for the person she is was on the backs of liberals. That’s the maddening thing. Those old white men despise her. I’ve seen the Facebook posts of my conservative friends and they despise her and everything she is. She is a vapid person.

      • tamaratattles

        I’m really not that interested in Caitlin’s transition. If wearing dresses and heels is what makes her happy, then by all means do that. I don’t see it as particularly heroic or worthy of too much of my thought. I more concerned about what is going to make me happy.

    • Dee

      I’ve been feeling the same way. Based on first interview with Dianne Sawyer, I thought she was going to help people. I thought she would do more. Instead it’s more about her clothes, make up, money. I’m disappointed thank you, I thought I was alone. She might as well use the K for Caitlin.

      • Dee

        Wow! My reply was to the first comment, GirlMe, sorry it didn’t nest right. I like Bruce’s just disappointed. I like Candy

    • Erica

      I am only continuing to watch because of Jenny Boylan and Kate Bornstein. I guess tonight they even have an argument!!! (I follow Jenny on almost all social media. Very smart, interesting lady!)

      I encourage you to read her FB posts for a perspective on Caitlyn, and the lessons we can still learn from her. I decided not to boo or hate her (even proverbially) but pity her. I hope she opens her own eyes, and perhaps opens the eyes of some of the party she still supports.

    • Xanadude

      “I Am Cait” may be one of the few shows that is interested IN SPITE OF it’s protagonist, not BECAUSE of. I find the interplay between the rest of the cast really interesting, especially between Kate Bornstein (you have GOT to read her books – father, trans activist, former Scientologist, BDSM enthusiast – seriously, it has it all) and Jenny Boylan. Caitlyn has proven herself to be a vapid bullyish bore, obviously living in a very safe cocoon since becoming famous (and, justifiably so – her accomplishments as Bruce were awe inspiring) and not aware of the larger issues of being trans beyond lipsticks and heels.

      • tamaratattles

        I’m actually watching that now. Is Kate the one that calls herself a trannie. I like her.

      • Erica

        I’m finishing up tonight’s episode – actually not that much of Cait – and this cisgender straight 44 year old female is doing the ugly cry.

        Kate’s story about her mother (does Kate use that pronoun?) touched me so profoundly, as did Jenny’s reaction to the “T” word because she was victim of violence where that word was used abusively.

        So getting Kate’s book on my Kindle – her story sounds amazing and after Going Clear I’m obsessed with Scientology so that is a bonus!!! (Plus, BDSM enthusiast??? FASCINATING!!! And not in the horrid 50 Shades/no safe word way. that is bullshit)

      • Xanadude

        Yes, Kate was pro “Tranny” word and Jenny was Anti.
        Kate’s book is called “A Queer and Pleasant Danger: A Memoir”

    • Erica

      Oh Brittany I am so glad I could help, and I hope there is a PFLAG in your state (or at least online, in a safe website where you and others who have walked your path can share). Keep us posted if you feel comfortable doing so.

    • amisteree

      GirlMe, I had to check out 60 Days In after you referenced it. I was curious, then freaked out, and now I’m HOOKED. I cannot wait to see the next episode. I want to slap Robert and his cocky attitude–is he insane????? And the young mother, Barbara, must suffer extreme naiveté, which can’t be a good thing in the lock-up.

  2. I’ve been lurking here a lot this week. I was diagnosed with MS in Jan and have all kinds of time on my hands, so I’m thinking I will get some tomatoes going here in the Aussie winter. It’s Autum here and it is 86 degrees today. I’ve been entertaining myself with Kim Biermann’s Instagram followers saying how awesome it is she flew to Montana commercial so her kids don’t get spoiled by private (LOL!) I just wanna know if they saw Kroy’s parents!

    • gluedtothepc

      blondesense, you sound like the kind of person I’d want to hang around, being positive and doing things you love, while dealing with a health ‘adjustment,’ I’ll call it. Keep up that kick-ass attitude, oi oi oi!! And you dropped some info I hadn’t heard about, re: the Biermanns’ trip to Montana, and I too would like to know if they saw Kroy’s parents. It sure would be great if they were able to reconcile.

    • CaliPatti

      Troy’s parents are the only reason Kim would be Montana, doubting a dude ranch or climbing mountains are on her bucket list. Troy’s parents would be good for the kids.

    • tamaratattles

      1) I’ve noticed you here more and loved it. Thanks for watching Catfish with me.
      2) I am so sorry to hear the reason is an MS diagnosis.
      3) I appreciate that you understand an MS diagnosis and being on the opposite end of the earth doesn’t excuse you from the tomato requirement. As Tim Gunn would say, “MAKE IT WORK!” xoxooxo
      4) While I love Kim, she flew what she flew because she was filming her show for next season. And of course they went there to see Kroy’s parents.
      5) They are not “fly private rich” they did it one time. While filming.

    • Pip

      I already shared with Tamara, but need to share here, too. I was getting on a plane in Minneapolis on Wednesday and ran into the Biermann clan. Kim, Kroy and their four little kids were there. They were getting off the plane I was boarding. I am not a Kim fan, in fact I couldn’t stand her. But I did approach her and she was very cool. She was soft-spoken (I know, right?!), polite, and even posed for a pic with me. So that happened. Also, she is quite tiny in person, which surprised me. Her TV persona seemed very different than who she is on television. She seems very sweet. Oh, and her kids are absolutely adorable!

    • Rubbishhousewife

      Hi blondesense, you don’t know me but…..I’ve been where you have, and the time of diagnosis was a very difficult time, when I look back it was as if I was grieving. I’m sorry to hear your news, but glad to hear you sounding positive. Be kind to yourself, it can take time to adjust, but if you break things down and approach each element separately, you learn to cope with symptoms and to enjoy life, not just cope with it. Your sense of humour is a very good sign. Best of luck to you. Xx

  3. Wanda

    Haven’t been watching How to Get Away with Murder; it gets rather confusing with all the flashbacks! I had read about chocolate covered bacon, so I made some today. Well, it tastes like chocolate and bacon. I expected something fanstastic, but it was rather ho-hum.

    • 80sChild

      I tried chocolate covered bacon at a bacon fest last year and I was expecting it to be spectacular, but it was just so so!

      • BeetsWhy

        I’ve seen the bacon and chocolate thing around for awhile, my question is did you use milk chocolate or dark chocolate? seems it would only be good with dark. I’m afraid to make it cuz I am serious about my bacon, only Neuskes applewood will do! And if it is so good I might eat a pound at a time.

      • Wanda

        To BeetsWhy:
        Used Ghiardelli’s milk chocholate and thick bourbon-smoked bacon.

    • GirlMe

      Thanks for the heads up on chocolate bacon. It sounds heavenly. Stopped watching HTGAWM after first 4 episodes. I got tired of working so hard just to watch tv. I was remembering so many facts like my future depended on it. My Mom gave up 2weeks ago.

    • tamaratattles

      Chocolate covered bacon doesn’t seem all that appealing. I agree it SHOULD but, nah. I bought bacon this week (did I mention I am sucking at #Healthy2016?) I mean it was Canadian BACON (not what we call Canadian bacon, but bacon from Canada which is healthier. I swear! Those Canookians don’t put a lot of the fucked up shit in their foods. That is why everything tastes weird in Canookia!) The bacon is fantastic.

    • Wallace

      Had maple bacon ice cream at a Food & Wine festival. INCREDIBLE!

  4. Dee-AZ @jordan1022

    Reminder to Everyone (except me being in AZ) that it’s time to spring forward your clocks. I believe it’s tonite @ 2am. At least I hope that’s correct. TT just put your new running shoes on treadmill by themselves & let them work out :)

  5. Rose

    I may try tomatoes this year. My garbage disposal is on the fritz and they said don’t run the dishwasher until the technician comes out so I’ve been washing dishes by hand. It was a pain at first but now I’m finding it somewhat relaxing. I’m sad American Crime season ended and hope it gets renewed for Season 3. Scandal and HTGWM I still watch but neither is must see tv for me anymore. I’m planning on watching Tour Group tomorrow. ..will you be recapping it TT?

    • tamaratattles

      Noe but I hope I am taping it. I love Tour Group.

      Also, if you have been here less than a year you may not know that you are REQUIRED to plant tomatoes. We have an enforcement team that WILL show up at your house.

      • Minky

        Can I be a tomato planter by proxy? My mother is big into tomatoes every year like her life depends on it. They do so well that they still have tomato sauce from last year in the freezer. So good on pizza and in lasagna! Also, one of my favorites is a tomato sandwich with thinly sliced onions, bakery quality white bread, and good mayonnaise. Dammit, now I’m hungry.

      • tamaratattles

        NOE, Yolanda. There is no by proxy here. YOU WILL PLANT A GODDAM TOMATO IN POT IF NECESSARY.

        You were here last year. You know this. Is your mama a billion years old? Because I thought you were older…

      • But I am running out of spoons! Mom is 92! I am 63. But she’s going to outlive me.

      • Minky

        @lisamia You can have some of my spoons honey. I’m not doing shit with them. Not even eating ice cream! I’ve been in a holding pattern since X-mas.

        How old do you think I am Tamara? I still get carded occasionally, but it’s happening less and less.

      • LLO

        I had the funniest thing happen last year. I plant (in pots) tons of herbs and of course, tomatoes every spring. Evidently some “seeds” had migrated over to the other side of my driveway container areas, and a tomato plant sprouted up from the ground! Love nature!

      • Rose

        Lol, been here a longtime and have been waiting on the enforcers! Problem is I don’t have a deck and no clue how to grow a live tomato plant….guess I must investigate. I need help and tips! I started watching 60 Days In after a friend told me about it…what in the world?!?! Wonder why Laila Ali’s sister is on there. It’s good though

      • Dee

        Tamara I am definitely planting tomatoes this year. I can’t wait for the right time. What type do you,suggest?

      • I love Tour Group too! Didn’t think I would but it is really funny and I love seeing all the places they are visiting and the different foods etc.

  6. cc101

    Still watching HTGAWM, but it is often several days until I get to it as I am not that into it anymore. Still love Scandal. I know a lot of people didn’t like all the neat endings on Downtown Abbey but personally I loved it.

    Have been successful in giving up alcohol for Lent, but have replaced it with chocolate so no weight improvement. I should have given up coke zero. I have a serious addiction.

    Looking forward to the upcoming reunions (especially BH). Going to start watching House of Cards on Netflix soon as it feels like I am the only person who hasn’t seen it.

    TT….I love the Q and A happy hour sessions. Can we do one of those soon?

    Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone.

    • tamaratattles

      We can. Maybe next weekend. It’s a lot. :)

      • cc101

        I bet it is!!! I have 2 more weeks til I can join in the ‘happy’ hour part. Thanks for the daily light relief you provide me and everyone!

    • Swizzle

      I’m starting to lose interest in Scandal. They are making all the characters so unlikeable. They all have had issues, but lately I’m just despising them and not in a love to hate kind of way.

  7. Miguel

    Today, I finally watched the last 4 episodes of Mob Wives – something I felt I had to do for closure. Of course, it was difficult; however, it reinforced what a beautiful lady Ang was.

    It seemed divinely ordained that this was to be the last season of the series; since, I don’t think the ladies, producers, nor audience would have been able to continue without her.

    Otherwise, I wish all your heart’s desire this spring, and always!

    • tamaratattles

      I have an episode on my DVR, but if it is the last one, I will watch it. I really want to be done grieving a reality personality. Because, really. But I’m not.

      • Miguel

        I totally get it, TT – I had to do it in doses, because I wasn’ t in the mood for the Drive drama. However, everything Ang truly brought some closure; and you may actually enjoy the closing scene….

      • Miguel

        Darn autocorrect – Drita drama!

  8. BeetsWhy

    I cried when Downton ended, but I swear Jullian Fellows left it open for Tom Branson and his love interest to have a spin off. Maybe I’m grasping at straws but that is the color in my world!

    HTGAWM has always been tough for me to keep up with, but because it’s Shonda I keep trying. It’s getting difficult though.

    Scandal seems to be in a transition season, Olivia is wearing colors and not acting like herself. I’ll give it the rest of this season to see where it’s headed, but it might be the end. I remember Shonda saying in an interview that it’s not meant to be another Grays and go on for a decade so we will see.

  9. Margarett

    Oh, I was just wishing for a bit of chat. Thanks a bunch, Tamara. Since I’m still pretty new it helps me get to know folks.

    I was told to not plant until after Easter. So, I’m trying to control myself. I found a packet of cilantro seeds and one of marigolds. I think I’ll follow your lead and throw them in pots. I sure do want to plant some tomatoes with you kids.

    Not much going on here on Hotston…it’s supposed to be 90 next week! Thankfully though the monsoon has finally quit! Whew!

    Have a great weekend, Everyone!

    • BeetsWhy

      Margarett, welcome! I’m in PA and we have had the weirdest weather week, it got up to 80 two days! It tempts me to start planting but I know we can also get April snow so I must wait! I am eyeing up the egg cartons to get seedlings going inside…

      • Margarett

        Thanks, BeetsWhy! An egg carton for starting…genius. I think I’ll try that with my tomatoes. Aren’t seeds so fun? When those little two leaved things rise up out of the soil it feels like a miracle to me.

      • BeetsWhy

        Margarett, for egg cartons just get the cardboard ones, miracle grow, seeds and Saran Wrap and you are set! I never got around to having kids so those little sprouts make me feel like a proud mama ?

  10. French

    I want to get outside in the garden so bad, but the ground is just to soggy still! Damn rain, I need some vitamin D and to be able to work my tiny land plot!

    • Wanda

      Bought a $20 greenhouse (5 feet tall, shelves and a zippered clear plastic cover) from Ocean State Job Lot (if you live in the Northeast). It does the trick for starting plants indoors! Especially when I clamped on a grow light. I intend to try growing mizuna; a spicy green that I love to add to smoothies. It’s not easy to find it in the supermarkets.

      • Lime Brain

        I planted a flat of pansies and 2 flats of violas over the past 3 days just to have some cheerfulness outside and as a way to start getting my body back into gardening shape for when it’s time for serious gardening.

        We’ve got 8 different pepper varieties started and we are going to start the the tomatoes next week. We use the big plastic salad containers to start seedlings.

        TT, have you ever heard of the tomato variety called Mortgage Lifter? The guy who bred it, sold the plants at a dollar each and paid off his mortgage that way. Granted, his mortgage was around $5,000, but this was back in the 30s or 40s when a dollar was a lot of money.

        I’m planning on taking my extra plants down to the local garage, set up a table and sell them for $3. I’m going to become a tomato dealer and push tomatoes. Lol!

      • More Tea Please!

        Mizuna grows like weeds! You can it densely and harvest it in as little as 3 weeks.

  11. I enjoyed every episode of Downton Abbey. I binge watched seasons 1-5, and saw the final season as the episodes aired. I was sad to see it end.

  12. Micheal

    Is anyone watching real housewives of Melbourne?

    Gamble is my new fav! She is awesome.

    The new wife is SOO thirsty.

  13. Thanks for this forum, TT!
    Update on lil Kyle, the amazing petomato: Lil Kyle is alive and the skanky girl is still dropping delicious cherry tomatoes! Not a lot, but two more are growing. We’ve replanted her several times. She is growing out of a large plastic bottle now, but still sits on my window sill in the kitchen.
    I am half way through a two week vacation. It’s been heaven. I’ve been walking or going to resistance training every day, and then doing pretty much nothing! I did have a colonoscopy on Monday–all normal, yay. I am flying up to Portland for two weeks on Tuesday to see my best friend. Hanging out with my kids and the boy friend. Going out to eat. Seeing movies. Walking in Descanso Gardens–the lilacs are in bloom and it’s perfume heaven there. Going to bed at 11 PM and waking up at 8 AM. I haven’t checked my work email once! When I return to work, I will have 21 months until I retire.
    I am a total Downton Abbey freak, so I watched the finale with a lot of tissues. I loved it. Sappy and happy. I’ve been binging on Foyle’s War, Bosch season two, House of Cards. I am playing an old computer game that just came out with enhanced versions: Baldur’s Gate one and two. I know, I need Geek tattooed on my forehead.
    Reading John Le Carre’s Midnight Manager. I hope to finish it before the series, but I’ve gone reading lazy, so will probably overlap.
    Hope everyone is doing well!

  14. tamaratattles

    Okay so here is my deal. I have been debt free almost all of my life. I had a school loan for a bit and a car payment out of college. Once the car payment was paid off, I continued making a “car payment” to my bank account until I could afford to buy a car outright. I paid cash for my house in the ghetto, because it was a family property. I got totally screwed on the price, but I was already living here because I could walk to work.

    I’m a big advocate on being debt free. I most ways it is an extremely liberating feeling and I think it should be everyone’s goal. It’s always something I have prided myself on. I’ve had a DRASTIC change in income since being sort of forced to leave teaching because of “the crazy” which turned out to be perimenopause.

    I had a sister who died of cancer. On her way out she somehow got a half million dollar life insurance policy for her kid, whose only job I know of was working at McDonalds. And he was in his.. I dunno late twenties early thirties when she died? He also go my parents house and pretty much all the contents because my brother, the executor of my last remaining parent’s will, didn’t want to inventory the house and basically just let him have everything including my personal possession as I was raised there and did the whole, “store my shit in my parents basement” thing.

    My dying sister also went to the family church and had them do all of her lawn care (despite a healthy son living right there for most of it) and getting a new kitchen/living room floor, and fucked everyone she encountered. Like, became a THOT on chemo. She went out grabbing everything she could. I was appalled.

    In retrospect, I’m less appalled. The church thing was pretty bad, but the rest of it? I’m starting to lean toward, you only live once. My sister’s theory, after the insurance thing, was die in as much debt as possible.

    I am starting to embrace this theory. I have no kids, no husband, no one to be left holding the bag. I have really great credit and a history of a lot of medical issues that are starting to arise.

    I’m starting to think that I should rack up a few nights in a 5 star hotel or six . I should stop with the whole buy staples when they are BOGO.

    I’ve started recently making small changes. Buying the fanciest onions(shut up I have an onion thing happening) and the good cheese at Whole Foods. I took a secret vacay at Christmas that wasn’t that cheap.

    My health situation is not fantastic. I’ve lived my life hard. I’ve got great credit. And I think, now is the time to rack up some debt.

    I think I should get a few more trips in while I can still waddle around. I think I should stay in a 5 star hotel. I think I should order the most expensive thing on the menu. I think I should accept the fact that It’s not going to get better. That at my age Prince Charming is not coming, (at least in the sense of a relationship of an intimate nature, I am fortunate to have a Prince Charming who appeared as a gay best friend sort of thing that is hard to explain.)

    I feel like every time I log on, someone else is dead. And yes, Big Ang is part of this thought process. I’m a little crazy. I’m having a lot of thoughts about death and dying.

    Really, it’s just me and my dog. And when I snuck away from you over the holidays, I had the best dog sitter ever. For the first time since I got Banjo I felt he was cared for and happy.

    So I kind of want to run up a lot of debt. And I have tons of shit I want to sell and don’t know how to do it.

    I don’t want to die sitting in the ghetto drinking cheap beer alone.

    That is my ramble.

    And for the love of God don’t think this is a plea for money. I am fine financially now that my ad agency has started paying in 2016.

    I just find myself watching some of these TV shows Teen Mom is probably the worst, where people who got pregnant in HS have WAY better houses than me. I’m resentful.

    And I’m alone.

    And I’d much rather be resentful and alone at the Four Season Nevis than in the ghetto. And I could book that trip tomorrow.

    And I would rather smoke and drink and do that than just sit here getting HUGER every fucking day,

    So um is that a bad idea? Because apparently, my life has been a series of bad decisicions.

    • Minky

      Well, some of what you said I agree with. Except going into debt. That shit terrifies me.

      I say have as much fun as you can if you can have it. Enjoy your designer onions and cheese. Why not? Smoke and drink if you want to. Of course! Go do whatever you want to do. Who the fuck’s gonna stop you?

      Nobody’s life is perfect. NOBODY!!! The ones who try to make others feel inferior should all be horse whipped.

      Your happiness is the most important thing. As long as you’re not hurting anybody you should be able to do whatever you like. I know for myself there are a lot of people I would like to tell to fuck off. Hopefully someday. ☺️

    • TT, at 54, I’ve learned that you have to enjoy your life, do things that make you happy. Sometimes life is passing us by, because we don’t do anything fun. If traveling makes you happy, and you have the means to do so. Travel and enjoy yourself! We don’t always have to have someone to go with us. I’ve found going by myself is fun, peaceful and drama-free!

    • KIR

      My opinion here isn’t going to be very PC but oh well – who’s to say what the future holds for any of us – I’ve seen so many people drop dead that live a “healthy” life meanwhile my mamma who’s been smoking for 45 years, was addicted to Coke in the 80’s and 90’s and an alcoholic until 2003, is still walking around on this earth driving me nuts. That being said, enjoy the fuck out of your life TT, you’ve earned it. Take those vacations and splurge on those 5 star rooms. Then please come back with some great stories :)

    • GirlMe

      I agree with everything. I keep getting huger no matter how hard i start the day, it doesnt end well. I’m scared my best days are behind me and i spent them hating my body and not living.

      Debt aint so bad. I always had a great salary and lost my job a few years ago. It was devastating but as long as you stop answering the phone, creditors arent so bad;)

      Dunno, this life aint so great but then I see 600lb life people with devoted mates. Like no sex EVER and the men worship them, and think there is someone for every1.

    • JustJenn

      TT, do you think the death and dying thoughts could be anxiety related?

      Other than that I’ve always been a big advocate of do what makes you happy in life, and why the fuck not? There are people who are always working for more, more, more. I’ve known two people in recent years who lived their life so frugally get end stage cancer..so what was all that scrimping and saving for? I worked in assisted living when I was younger and have seen people lose their mind, or even worse have a full functioning mind and the ability to do absolutely anything for themselves. The point I am trying to make is that life is short and can change in the blink of an eye, so I think everyone should always live the life that they want to while they can.

      • Brittany

        I agree with your thinking! My Granddaddy worked his whole life to just make sure he could give his children an inheritance! My Grandmother worried and worried about their finances in their last years because he wouldn’t take any money out of the bank. He thought he was doing what was best of course (living through thr Depression and such) but I wish my Grandmother could have spent her final years buying new dresses and drinking fine wine. I know we all have to be practical and save our money in case of a rainy day, but any of us could get smacked by a Mac truck tomorrow and then someone else will be spending all that money you’re saving. And that would be a bummer!

    • Brittany

      My advice is go into a bit of manageable debt and live it up!! Clearly you have worked hard in your life and deserve a bit of fun. You’ll never regret traveling to all the places you want to go.

    • Alyssa

      Why not tn debt trying to get healthy?

    • Cat

      With you all the way, TT.

    • therealdeb

      my dad and step mother carried huge life insurance policies for years. when they retires my mom let them go. my dad kept his. they reasoned he would die first and leave it all to her. my sister andi have always been very responsible and employed and taken care of our own shit and our kids. my step brothers have always leaned on the parents for money. lots and lots of money. the parents divorced once but stayed together over the money to the boys thing. anyways when mom died in july she had no will but all her stuff went to my dad excet for this tiny life insurance policy she had. it went to the boys and they got several thousand. dad told them the money flow was off now and that they got all the money their mother had. dad toyed with leaving one of his policies to the boys, but had reasoned that they had gotten thousands and thousands of dollars from them over the years so maybe he wouldn’t. he was unsure. in the last 20 years my sister borrowed $400.00 from them to fix her furnace when it was before payday and then i once goofed up my checkbook and needed to ay daycare and called. we both attempted to pay the money back and dad refused the money. the parents remarried because mom promised to not keep paying most of the boys bills. she had bill payers withdrawls to pay their rents and shit and one had one of her credit cards in his name. anyways in february my dad died suddenly. within hours of his death that i was there for, had to do cpr on him and watch him die before my very eyes, one brother called and started to demand things. it was unsettling and i was in no condition to respond really. so fast forward to now and with no will for dad either, he had made an appoinment to do one but had not gotten there, he died before the appintment time. we had to go to court and have my older sister made administrator of the estatethey are tryiong to bully us and are now suing us for insurance money. hardly a mention to any of their mothers personal items just want the money. thats some fucked up shit. my sister paid her house off an few years ago and mine should be paid off in 5 months. dad would be so pissed

    • T D

      Noe TT you rent or buy a house in the shade of a freeway and/ or ghetto,
      And pack your lunch in the mornin’ and go to work each day….and when the wee hours of the ‘ morn come around…you finally lay your body down…and when the noonday light comes streaming in you get up and do it again. Amen. From a working class stiff.

  15. Toddy

    Hi, y’all. It’s been spring break here, I’ve been able to arrange work around the kids being home. Tons of rain here, but we’ve made some fun day trips. I was sad Downton ended, but it felt like it was time. Though I am hoping for a movie. The hubs and I are enjoying Better Call Saul. The Americans starts again Wednesday and I can’t wait (I recommend binge watching the other seasons). I’m gonna give the tomato thing another try (my cukes and peppers did well, the tomatoes not so much). Everybody take care?

  16. Lawstangel

    Loved Downton, am so sorry to see it go. I checked out the last 3 episodes from the Library and watched them early. BUT I still watched the last episode again on finale night. I am so darn happy that Edith finally got to be happy. I am truly going to miss that show!!! TT how is Banjo???? Have not heard about him for awhile. I’ve had insomnia lately, been staying up till all hours.

    Been watching Survivor, Caleb (BMC) is on this season. What a huge difference from his behavior on BB. He is like a different person! He also passed out and got medically evacuated from the game, it is so darn hot there, they had 3 perople needing medical attention due to the heat. It’s going to be a rough season! Looking up and saying hi to Cali….and Lis have a nice vacation. Hang in there TT…..you’ll get to that treadmill yet.

    Ariana Grande is on SNL tonight, she just belted out a song that had everyone asking for more. I may have to forgive her, she is just a kid…….Don’t forget to change your clocks tonight.

  17. tamaratattles

    I just realized it is four o’clock in the morning here and I am looking for something to watch on TV. I have no “I was up all night recapping” excuse. It was Saturday. Nothing happens on Saturday.

    And I’m not depressed really, I am just thinking I need to change my financial philosophy. I think I just need to go balls to the wall. OTOH I have been drinking And I have not drunk booked 4 Seasons Nevis yet…. but I may go look at prices… Which of course on my new philosophy should not matter.

    New philosophy is “I have so few things that make me happy” Why should I not be in the fucking presidential suite just once!!! Full disclosure: I don’t know if they even have a presidential suite.

    But you know what? I REFUSE TO DIE without going places fucking Justin Beiber could go.

    • Traveling sounds wonderful, TT! Why not???

    • Katherine 2.0

      I applaud and embrace this new philosophy. Am fairly financially conservative myself, but one indulgence has been travel. Exploring the US this summer, 3 weeks across country. Not a 5-star hotel gal myself, but can appreciate the heaven that is 5-star lodging!
      Go forth and enjoy!

    • Miguel

      Hi TT, my wife’s a financial advisor and she suggests doing a budget sheet to capture the $ you have left, after your fixed expenses. Since you aren’t servicing any debt (something she thinks is amazing in our time), you can divide your $ into portions that suit you; for example, 1/3 to rainy day savings (for emergencies/contingencies), 1/3 to blow on anything you pls & 1/3 to grow in the event you get to the point where you are unable to work/ you retire.

      Most importantly, she always says to enjoy your money – you work hard for it, so make it work hard for you! Hope this helps, as I wish you joy and success in every endeavor for all your great work here!!!

    • Little Dog

      Do It Tamara! Go for it. I, like you, have always been a saver. I live in the same little house I bought 30 years ago, pay cash for a used car when mine dies, have an IRA and a 401k and am debt free (not wealthy by any means). No kids, just 2 dogs I need to make sure are taken care of. A friend said recently that she didn’t want to be the wealthiest person in the cemetery, and, well, yeah! I’ve been treating myself and buying things I want rather than need. All of my travels had been on a budget until the last 2 trips where (although not 1st class), I didn’t cut corners. It feels great and it’s going to get better because I plan to keep on doing it. And if you don’t have anyone to go with and he can’t afford it, pay for your gay best friend to go too. Live it up, laugh and spend some hard earned money on yourself and your favorite things. Happy trails!

    • Hey there my friend..I totally get what you are talking about..for me when there is an abundance of death “around” via celebs..I get that way..I mean really the plethora of Rock musicians that have passed on..too brutal for words..and when I read/hear/watch mass shootings…that affects me ..and I try and figure out why …it does make me anxious…not about anything specific….so I just start taking my inventory..still felt anxious..and ended up just venting ..this happens whenever t happens..sometimes no rhyme or reason..?

      • tamaratattles

        Samael, yeah, I’ve always been sort of sensitive to the news. I remember wondering even as kid, why no one was upset about all the people dying around the world.

        I think what got me started down the whole WTF am I going to do with the rest of my life path last night was Watching the Second Most Exotic Marigold Hotel last night. It kind of made me want to move to India and live in a hotel with a bunch of horny old people and wait for Richard Gere to arrive. :)

        All the deaths and thoughts of death have me asking myself every day if I am just going to live out my time in the ghetto or finally move to the beach somewhere. I’m sort of in between the “what are you waiting for? Let’s go do something” phase and the ” I think I am going to sit right here on this busted couch for another year, fuck it.” phase. :)

      • Hey TT..last time I went through this…I ended up moving to a different part of town..fun/safe and you could just say hi whenever someone walked by..one block from the beach..so when this anxiety reaches me again..I take a walk on the beach..have a hot dog..(still not sure why this is bad… and people watch..makes me happy…

      • tamaratattles

        So Sam, dear. How do you feel about large dogs and large women?

    • Dee

      Go balls to the wall, you deserve it!

      • Xanadude

        I’m saying this in my “voice of reason” voice: yeah -don’t go into debt. Just don’t. Splurge, but continue to save in the areas that don’t mean as much – cheap beer, expensive onions, use coupons, and do that trip once a year or every 18 months or whatever. You can be frugal and splurge at the same time without going into debt.
        Debt bad.

      • More Tea Please!

        I’m with you Xanadude, take on debt in moderation, but do the right thing and pay it off. When you deliberately “Stick it to The Man”, you stick it to the rest of us schmucks. Who knows, you might meet the man of your dreams on one of your fancy vacations only to find he does not take kindly to your debt…

  18. NeverBeenJaxed

    Hello All! Checking in for the beloved open forum. I haven’t posted much in awhile but have been reading here every single day because, I <3 TT. Recently registered to go back to school. At 48. Hopefully I will graduate this time before my youngest kid graduates from high school. He's a freshman in August, so at least I have a plan and a goal. Scared shitless but I'm doing it anyway. I'm feeling the same way as you TT about the life thing. I'm kind of in the same boat minus the kid thing and the great credit thing. My credit is okay but it's on the upswing because I have been diligently fixing it for the past year and a half so I'm feeling positive about that.

    Tomato season is upon us and I'm not going to miss the tomato forum! Getting my seeds and soil this week and I'm going to get those babies going inside so they are ready to go into the containers on Memorial Day weekend. Up here in DYT (Damn Yankee Territory) we had a little stretch of really warm weather that was such a tease of Spring and Summer weather and I'm ready!

    TT, do whatever makes you happy and feeds your soul. We do only live once and somewhere in there we have to take it where we can get it. I think you should be totally selfish and do whatever you want to simply because you can. I hope that you do.

    I've missed all y'all !

    • Tara

      @NBJ – I hope you are excited about going back to school. Hell, I am excited for you and I could not pick you out of a crowd of 2 if my life depended on it.
      I hope you share your time (I originally typed “journey” instead of “time” but, well ya know…only Yo’s journey is exciting- NOT) with us- on the open tea threads. This will be a great opportunity for you. Besides the obvious, furthering your education, I am sure will meet some interesting people.
      48 is young, you are going into a field that is always in high demand. Like teachers, many of those people do it because they love it.
      Positive thoughts and prayers your way NBJ, I am sure you will do great.

      • tamaratattles

        OMG, Tara! I find my self typing “the J word” and find I just can’t use it anymore. At the end of the day, (SWIDT?) It’s been ruined forever.

      • Journey is now up there with surreal for words I will never use again because of celebrities.

    • GirlMe

      Love NeverBeenJaxed name. Congrats on going back to school. I’ve been thinking about doing that myself. I wanna go to law school and work as a Prosecutor. But i need to make money another way as ADA doesnt pay.

      Took the LSAT years ago and got discouraged cause everyone said I’d be better in bschool. Tried 3X to get into B School and never got high enough GMAT score.

      School is different when you’re older. Everything is more interesting. Hope it pays off and the sacrifice is enjoyable.

      What are you going back for?

      • NeverBeenJaxed

        @GirlMe @Tara Thanks for the love! I was scared but I want my life to change more than I’m afraid to go so I just bit the bullet! I’m currently going for BS Management w/a dual degree in Retail Management Fundamentals. I have worked in retail now for the past bunch of years as a mid-level mgr but want to do something else. I’m heading in the direction of E-Commerce because that’s where this country is headed and I have a boatload of experience with store level part of it. I’m a computer nerd anyway. Might as well make it work for me. I’m taking out loans to do it but it’s an investment into my own future, so Giddyup! Here we go! I’m totally excited for this um “Phase of My Life” (I can’t with the J word. It’s been ruined).

        At some point ya have to throw caution to the wind and just do the things that make your soul feel nourished. It’s something that’s gnawed at me for years. I love learning and I’m so much more prepared and disciplined now than I ever was.

        It’s gonna be good!

  19. Angelbee

    I’m just curious…does anyone here watch Little Women LA or Little Women Atlanta?

    • Lime Brain

      I tried watching the Atlanta one, but lasted about 10 minutes. It was the episode with the twins twerking. I felt like I was watching hwoa. One show like that is enough for me.

    • loriflack

      Yes, Angelbee…I watch Little Women LA ?.

    • Yes, Angelbee, I’ve been watching LW-LA. They’re on season 2 or 3 now, I think.
      I’m liking it more now. The dirt season seemed that were trying to capture the fighting and back tabbing of the RH formula. I can’t watch LW Atlanta. Way too ratchet and skanky for me, as bad if not worse than Atlanta .
      LA girls have a sense of humor. And I love how they deal with every day issues. I never gave much thought to how they adapt and deal with the every day things… Purchasing a couch a bed, a home! Cabinet heights, pregnancy, cars and toilets. Most importantly, how to get on a bar stool..
      They have had so many medical issues and surgeries yet seem happy for the most part.
      Next week I think Terra’s Little Family begins again. I’m thinking it’ baby #2 for Terra and Joe. I hope Elena And Prestons twins arrive safely, Briana and the douchebag and the other blonde are annoying. Little Boss Tanya is a trip.
      At the end of the last sentence I stopped to eat a burger my hubs made for me. Now I can’t remember what else i was going to say.
      Oh, wait. Christy and Todd. She is a nag about his wait but I understand her concerns. Because th for health reasons and adoption.
      Generally speaking I do like the cast . Far easier watch than RHofAnywhere

      • oops. Said waiting for moderation when I submitted reply. I checked p and I had added a couple extra letters on the end zone f email. I was skeered I was in WLS after all these years.
        Btw, I totally understand your obsessing with over death and dying. In the past year I had a couple losses. I thought I had dealt with some lingering issues. I found I hadn’t.
        I started reflecting and starting jfeeling a lot of guilt and then self loathing. It lead me to constant thoughts about death and dying. Started to become overly anxious, not wanting to go out, even for groceries I was dreading having to engage in any conversations. I withdrew. Agoraphobia hit hard. Seems silly but even typing this tells me I’m emerging from ” the fog.”(. Maybe my dream the other night with Juan Martinez helped in some way. )

  20. Cheychey

    TT I may have a problem or maybe not but I’m very cheap. I bargain shop, clip coupons, and my daughters call me a dumpster diver as a joke cause I will do a 360 in the road for a yard sale or flea market. This has afforded me to also keep my debt low. After my mom passed last June, I decided to throw caution to the wind and splurged on a really nice vacation at the beach. Normally I would find a good deal for hotel one with free breakfast and a kitchen, so I could buy groceries and not eat out the whole time. Well not this time, we went to a really nice overpriced resort. I thought I would have a panic attack at the thought of all the money we were spending. We did all the overpriced touristy stuff I avoid like water parks with the kids and expensive dinners. The kids got to experience foods that my husband and I had told them about but they had never seen. It was amazing. I have recently come down with some added health issues that are concerning so I’m so glad that I took the chance when I had it and did something I would not ordinarily do. When the day comes that I’m gone my kids certainly won’t remember that I saved $2.00 on Tide, although I’m sure they will be glad they have an inheritance(lol). They will always remember the time mom wasn’t cheap and let her hair down, had fun and didn’t worry about how much any of it was gonna cost.

    • tamaratattles

      What a great story, CheyChey! I have that miserly thing too, but it’s never really come into play for vacations. For me, I’m saving the $2 on Tide so I can spend it on pina coladas on the beach!

      • “saving the $2 on Tide so I can spend it on pina coladas on the beach!”
        Seriously wise words!
        I decided to make most of this vacation a staycation. I am going to Portland on Tuesday for two nights/three days to see my best friend. Boy friend and I were thinking of going to Palm Springs or Malibu next weekend, but money is tight for both of us, at the moment. I asked him if we could stay home, but splurge on finding really awesome restaurants. He was relieved and so am I. I have a goal to retire in 21 and a half months, so kind of keeping my eyes and pocket book on that target.
        Probably a good way to decide is which causes one more anxiety, splurging or saving? Do the one that stresses you out the least for the pleasure given.

  21. Good morning! It’s Sunday and I’ve just realized that tonight there will be no Downton Abbey. Like. Ever. Again. I already miss my English friends.I loved the series finale (Who doesn’t love a good “and they all lived happily ever after?”) I binge watched the first 5 seasons last year, watched season 6 weekly and found myself in quite the juxtaposition on Sunday nights between the THOT’s, I mean Housewives of Atlanta at Moore Manor and the Lords and Ladies of Downton. The good news is after 6 seasons, my English has improved with the latter viewing. I’m even starting a grass roots campaign for a Downton Abbey movie, I’d totes go….. Oops, I meant that I would absolutely attend a film made about the Crawleys… My friends

    I’m looking for suggestions for my 8 p.m. Sunday slot. Something to balance out the crack like damage I’m getting from Porsche. Maybe I should DVR Underground on the CW channel?

    • Mr Selfridge season 4 begins on PBS on March 27th. If you haven’t seen it, it’s based on a true story. A Chicago millionaire opens the first department store in London . Another period drama. I love nearly everything on Masterpiece.

    • Jen

      I had that same realization today and it made me sad ?

  22. Hi All! So far so good in 2016 aka…The Year of Getting My Shit Back in a Pile. I’m down 20 lbs so far (though more to go) and went and bought new, smaller sized pants on Friday. Yay. I’ve kept my smaller sizes of my basics but decided it’s time for new things.

    The whole braces as an adult thing, while my teeth are already so much straighter, SUCKS! Anyone who tells you you get used to them lies! So much worse than when I had them as a kid. You do not get used to having shards of glass glued to your teeth. On the plus side it has helped with the diet since I can’t eat solid food. I will likely get them taken off early (was supposed to go til July) because they look good to me now and I can’t stand it any more and trying to be a professional when you can’t speak well because of them just doesn’t work well.

    Bought and container planted a lemon tree yesterday. Would love to do tomatoes but between squirrels digging and roof rats eating anything tender you plant I’m out of luck on that

    • Katherine 2.0

      Congrats!! Bought some new pants yesterday, too. Down 38 lbs since October. Back to fighting weight in another 20 or so. So much more energy.
      Found the best way to eat three times a week with no negative consequences is to break up good chocolate into small squares and freeze, then eat a square. Takes longer, makes you savor it, fewer calories.
      Lemon tree sounds marvelous.

    • Lawstangel

      I got braces as an adult and was pleased with the result. I got them off 12 years ago. Ufortunately, I eventually got sick of wearing the retainer on a daily basis, which is unfortunately, necessary. My teeth have now moved. One thing my ortho did not tell me is that braces as an adult are quite different, your teeth never stanilize like they do when you are younger. I am not sure I would have got the, if I’d known that. Bravo on your weight loss, I have been trying to do that as well. You deserve a few new pieces, it will give you some happiness as you move forward.

      • When I tell friends I had them as a kid the first thing they say is..did you not wear your retainer? Um….I had braces 40 years ago…..NO. 40 years is still a pretty good ROI lol. There wasn’t that much to be done this round..just fixing some crowding mainly. Yup..will have a retainer this time too …see hiw well I tolerate wearing it. :-)

  23. Pitypat

    I loved Downton Abbey and am now in a facebook support group to get us through without it! I am excited for the tomato plant project. I also love traveling but the expense, etc. worries but I had lunch yesterday with 2 coworkers and one suggested we go on a trip together, so screw finances, I am going!

  24. cavex2

    The series finale of Downton Abbey was everything I could have wanted. I cried the last half of the episode but felt such happiness the entire time. After the show, I realized how miserable other shows make me, like the housewives. But I am looking forward to the next season of Outlander (read the books) and UnReal. T, thanks for doing the open forum. I always get great advice on new shows to watch, etc. I did not do tomato plants yet, but did put out lots of sod and did a huge pool makeover. Does that count? LOL

  25. Tara

    Sneaky you TT! Getting in a winter vaca and not telling us. This right here shows how much you love some of us. LoL If you would have told us, we would be blowing up your social media etc stating -I hope you are having fun, please relax and don’t worry about us. (OMG we are just like children, screaming for attention) You would have felt the need to comment back to some of us, hence no relaxing. I hope you had fun and do it again soon.
    If you ever come to NC you could leave Banjo with me. He would love the pond, running on our property and chasing Lucy Goosey.
    TT, did you watch the Big Ang special on VHI? Ang was a great lady and I love the saying about – I am not here for long do I am going to…- I think that is how it went. Live your life TT, don’t worry about things you can not change and or have no control over.
    I would love for all of us to get together and have a fun weekend somewhere. I know TT is thinking – Fuck No! LoL
    XoXo

  26. Game of Thrones. Season 6. Cannot wait. Giddy as a kipper.

    Tried tomato growing last year but the northern England climate wasn’t having it – rain, rain rain.

    • Lawstangel

      Ahhh….something to look forward too. God I hate it they killed Jon Snow, can’t wait to see them get their come uppance for that move.

  27. I finally stopped watching HTGAWM! It just drove me crazy and I wasn’t enjoying it. I’m hoping the Caitlyn Jenner will learn and grow this season on her show. She has such a great platform but it sometimes takes a long time to teach someone. She is surrounded by wise and amazing TG women! We can only hope. I found the finale of Downton Abbey very satisfying. I will miss those characters. I’m enjoying The Walking Dead and now that Bosch the 2nd season is out on Amazon I’m going to binge watch it soon.

  28. Ashley

    I love How to Get Away With Murder! Love the flashbacks! It’s my favorite show right now. I can’t believe the season finale is next week. So happy it got renewed for another season!

  29. Cat

    SPOILER ALERT! THIS IS A BUMMER COMMENT. SCROLL PAST IF YOU DON’T WANT YOUR GOOD DAY RUINED.

    I am going to try to be silent for awhile. Not sure how that will work, but I will give it a try.

    I am exhausted and depressed from the events in my city last night. And now, I have finally lost friends over it. People I cared about. That sucks.

    I am normally a fighter, but I cannot fight this. I cannot control other people. That is not my place.

    So, I will simply retreat to my tree, and watch people rip each other to shreds.

    As for tomatoes, I’m sorry, TT, but I will be anti-tomato this year. I WILL, however, plant some wildflowers on my balcony. I need some color, happiness and joy in my life.

    And who knows, maybe in my small way, I will grow a crop of bees, and save this miserable planet.

    • Love you always, Cat. Hugs!!

      • Cat

        Oops. Sorry. I responded in the wrong place. I’m not thinking clearly at the moment.

        Thanks, lisamia. I love you all, too.

        Even those who don’t think I do.

    • VioletBlue

      Don’t retreat for too long, Cat! Just getting to know you! (Not at all meant in the stalker-like way of wanting to be your BFF, you know, like Katherine & Erika, lol) 😉

    • tamaratattles

      Cat? Did I miss something on the news? What is going on in your city? And why are we going to be punished for it? :(

      • Cat

        I don’t want to start a whole “thing” on it, but a certain controversial candidate had a rally here last night. Hundreds of demonstrators. No violence, except by police, who pepper sprayed a large crowd because they “might” do something. Ridiculous.

        Only 4 arrests, though. Lots of yelling from both sides.

        I’m just sick of it. I thought the people here were better than that. Guess not.

        And I got into it with people on Facebook. Big mistake.

        Free speech in this country is dead. Sad.

    • Margarett

      Cat Sweetie, rant, rave, or stay silent! You’re loved! I’ll just scramble up your tree to give you a hug and offer a shoulder should you want it

    • Cat

      Thanks, everyone. No way am I leaving here! This is the only sane place on the internet!

  30. Cat

    Thanks. I love you all, too.

    Even those who don’t think so.

    • Miguel

      Hi Cat, please know that there are people in this world whom have never met, yet love, you!!! Please don’t hide your light/beautiful spirit away in the tree?! I hope you feel better soon; and will be waiting for your return!!!
      P.S. Please, please don’t take too long, as I may have to hijack a firetruck/ladder :-)

    • Dee

      Awww Cat, you are one of my favorites, in so sorry for whatever upset you! Let me at em! You’re the best! Hang in there!

    • Miele

      Please don’t leave, Cat!!!!You’re very near and dear to so many hearts here, including mine.

    • Cat

      Thanks, all! I’ll be OK. All the senseless arguing and name calling and finger pointing just got to me. I had to shut it down.

      Facebook used to be my home away from home. Now, I find I come here more often to escape from the crap that is this world.

      So, this is my home away from my home away from home. :)

  31. Still watching American Crime and started The Family. Good shows. My hubs and I watched Spotlight this weekend and was sick to my stomach. Can’t wait for gardening to commence.

    • sundayhare3, I read your comment twice because I thought I wrote it on last night’s ambien. I say this because those are my two shows (in fact, in my head I have the whole season of The Family figured out…including the ending. And if I am right, I’m checking myself into some sort of program for people who watch so much TV that they missed their calling as a writer). Anyway, not only are your TV shows my favs….but, last night we also watched Spotlight. What did you think?

      • Hi Karen Nagle!!!!! I am so sorry I haven’t been able to do any posting from home my keyboard died. I came in to use the keyboard at work LOL. Well, to answer your question, I am very interested to see what your take on the Family is. Very interesting. American Crime is breaking my heart it is just so hard and those interviews with the Columbine families or people WOW. I don’t know. As far as Spotlight goes, I have such a disgusted angst about that whole situation. I don’t live far from Boston, and although I know it happened everywhere it was such a thing of total betrayal for me. And still is. I don’t feel as though enough was done or has been done still. I think the movie was great and I am glad the story got broken, although it is not over by a long shot. Many of those priests were simply moved to other countries……do you think they stopped? What did you think? I can’t believe we were so much on the same page.LOL

  32. VioletBlue

    I haven’t done Yoga today. That makes six years Yoga free, lol. Saw that quote on Facebook and it made me realize I really need to get up and moving.
    We don’t venture far from home these days due to our furry dog-child being 17 years old. She gets nervous if she’s left alone for too long!

  33. Rach

    Hi TT, hope you’re well? I’ve just seen the new promo trailer for Real Housewives of Cheshire and absolutely gutted that my favourite Magali Gorre has been axed. :(

  34. loriflack

    I have been requesting expensive vacation destination packets for awhile now. Just perusing them is uplifting…and ya just never know when Lady Luck might strike ~
    I still wonder where TT went for her winter holiday last year?.
    Since the last tea forum I ordered a treadmill from Costco.
    Good news is that I received it!
    Bad news is that it’s still in the box.

    I attended a funeral recently where they passed out a daffodil bulb to everyone in honor the deceased. It is just now beginning to sprout ?.

    • Loriflak, TT mentioned she bought a new pair of running shoes. She has not yet put thm on or put them on hr treadmill minus fher feet. Maybe the two of you hold get together and work out a solution.?? ?? ??

  35. Cheychey

    Since the reality show boom I haven’t watched many sit coms which used to be a fav of mine. A lot that I watched don’t come on anymore. I really believe Rosanne was my sister from another mister. Her sarcasm so matches mine. I must admit the fav show of all that I watch is still Big Bang Theory. I did hang on to one sit com. Recently I have watched a few interesting ones that are funny. I like Blackish, Dr. Ken and Teachers. Nobody talks much of comedy shows wondering if anyone else watched?

  36. Toni Lee Gildea

    I am watching the Downton Abbey series on DVD. It is helping get thru the end of the series.
    As long as TT continues to spill tea, I don’t care if it served from the shore, or the ghetto.

  37. I can’t wait to start my new tomato plants. The remains of Moe, Larry & Curly are still in a pot on my patio.

  38. Rubbishhousewife

    Tamara, half of me wants to say sod it, go for it! The other half says, christ on a bendy bus, no! Consequences, you’re not that flippin’ old, you’d have to live with them a long time…..so to sum up, I’m pretty shite at this kind of advice, so not going to give it.
    Much thanks for the entertainment on this quite spectacularly shitty week though.

  39. Just got home from Malibu. Boy friend, son and I drove down for lunch and a walk on the beach. Gorgeous day!

  40. Miele

    I have lost a total of twelve pounds so far this year. I *am* eating healthier, when I am eating. I miss being in here lurking, though I do try to visit every day, at times on my phone. It’s been a crazy year so far.

    I cannot wait until my health insurance kicks in April 1st so that I can go see the neurologist and figure out what’s with the loss of function, and to get on a better pain medicine regimen. The current stuff isn’t doing me much good, but I make it through the day (usually).

    Why don’t I have health insurance you ask? Well, I lost my job the week before Xmas. It’s a bad time in general and especially in my field. I started my own business instead and that’s been a steep learning curve. HOWEVER, I’ve been distracted from everything because my spiteful, vindictive former boss is SUING me for non-competition (despite being on a legally admissible recording stating that he was waiving my non-compete). I’ve been full-time lawyer hunting on top of actually working with my clients, learning to run a business, managing my health stuff, taking care of my furbabies, etc. This is the first day all year I’ve felt relaxed enough to actually engage online or in person just because. Oh so, yeah, in the heat of all the hearings and trying to be a new small business owner and keeping my clients happy, I failed to get health insurance earlier in the year. I had to choose between a plan accepted by my primary care and a plan accepted by my the group to which my specialists all belong. In the end, I chose the specialists, and I hope that was the right choice. I can get another primary care if necessary or pay those visits out of pocket.

    Coming here is my “fun oasis” – I love reading the recaps and the comments from all of you. I use it as a mental break from the planning, logging, invoicing, researching, etc. that has become so much of my life…

    And I *am* still grateful for every day that I have and for being able to work (even if on a shortened schedule) and take care of myself.

    Whew. Okay. Didn’t mean to write a novel. Hoping to be able to read through more of these comments as the week goes by.

    Also CAT don’t please don’t leave us!!!! You’re one of my favorites to read from.

    • Miele, I Too am waiting for my Medicare to begin in another few months,. Financial problems have forced to wait. I have jloss of function. My sciatica is causing an enormous amount of pain and my feet, legs,are numb. Now my hands have begun to shake and my finger re numb. My regular go see Dr is a cardiologist. He thinks it could be neuropathy. He wants m to see a neurologist. I can’t afford him. First visit is $340.00 and that’s to talk for a few minutes, no tests that visit. Just for a consult. .
      I’m grateful for each day but I’ve been really depressed and then anxious. I just want to know what’s causing my issues with my extremities. I’m tired of whirlybirding and tipping and reaching out for balance nd causing stacks of water bottles to crash over in Publix. There have been other minor disturbances. In my head I believe I must look drunk. I stay in for the most part now.
      This is way too long. I haven’t been communicatig much . Apologies.
      And CAT. ? Don’t stay way too long. I always look forward to your comments. Even your snark for the most part,allows your kindness to shine. More than that, you’re hella funny. I think your positive attitude elevates others as well as yourself.
      Turn off the news for awhile. I had to over the weekend.. It’s poisoness, toxic and reinforces my negative thoughts about the general public., shameful and embarrassing ,just pop in every day so I can smile at your perky avatar, it always makes me smile

  41. My oldest daughter and I binge watched the entire Downton Abbey series over the holidays and just watched the finale last night.

    *sniff*

    Maybe cuz we’re new to it, but hated that it had to end. I guess the ratings were down?

  42. Tara

    What a stressful day! My Dad is in ICU, this morning his doctor told us that he was not sure if my Dad would make it. My Mama called our entire family and of course everyone came to see him. As the day progressed the doc said my Dad could improve, they really do not know. I am an only child, having my 2 cousins, my aunt and my cousins kids there was such a comfort. Although, when my Dads morphine wore off he reminded my Mama that he said no vistors and not to forget to check her milage on her car because it is time for her to get a oil change. So at least he is coherent.
    I am 42 years old, and I know that no one lives forever. My Dad is super special because he chose to be my Dad, he is not the man who made me. He is the man that taught me about life, sheltered me from life’s troubles ( probably too much) taught me to drive etc and financially supported me. He chose to marry a single mom in her early 20s with a young child. He paid off all my Moms college debt as well as the debt that my Daddy left her with. I know money is not important and that I am making no sense.
    I am so fortunate to have had him this long, I know that but I am not ready to let him go yet. I rarely ask this – for those that believe in a higher power, please pray for my Dad – his name is Danny. (I am specific when I pray:) If you do not believe in a higher power please send him positive thoughts. My Mama is the hub of the family and seeing her break down is so hard.
    I apologize for rambling and I can not use my Dad as an excuse. I am too wordy and sporadic naturally.
    As I have sat in the hospital today, I read everyone’s comments. TT and TT’ers are the best!

    • Miguel

      Sending you and yours much positive energy, Tara – I’m your age and know it isn’t easy to deal with the parent’s mortality. Please hang in there, and try to be strong for your mom!

    • JustJenn

      I’ll keep you and your Dad in my thoughts and prayers.

    • tamaratattles

      Tara, I can’t find you on Twitter can you post or email me your Twitter handle? I haven’t seen your posts in a while.

    • Hugs, Tara. I hope your dad pulls through.

    • Cat

      Sending prayers and positive thoughts to your dad. And to you and your mom.

    • amisteree

      I like to pray specifically when I can, thanks for sharing your Dad’s name with us. Prayers for Danny and you and your family. Stay strong. Thank you, also, for sharing the story of a true father’s love. xoxo

    • Tara, I don’t think you were rambling. I felt that you were speaking from your heart. I will be sending positive thoughts to Danny and include you and mom. I hope he has a full and complete recovery.
      My dad was special too. I’m an only child and he chose me. I was very fortunate to have had the years I did.

  43. Lots to read here! First, Tamara, you can only build a debt if you can pay debt service. If you can make a payment of $300-$400 per month, go out and rack up a bunch of debt while travelling. Because we’re both kinda frugal, I suggest getting the best rate you can.
    Consider cruises on really good lines like Celebrity for a full, non-thinking vacation. Your thoughts only have to be “what.” As in, “what drink/food/body treatment do I want?”
    For locations to visit, I can recommend the Dutch side of Sint Maarten and Arbua for island fun; in Europe try to visit the eastern European countries that that like Americans (Croatia, Slovenia, Slovakia).
    I love to spend money but also love to save it – I live in a small town so Walmart has to play a part in my household goods shopping. I use their savings catcher to scan my receipts for extra money. My favorite money saver is iBotta, a phone based app that offers really good cash back offers. I’ve gotten $1 back on one bottle of Zico coconut water, .75 on my favorite yoghurt drink. You can get bonus cash back when you team hits benchmarks so if you don’t know anyone else in iBotta just use my referral code (dejchgv) at iBotta.com and be part of my team. I usually hit the first bonus level each month without having to try really hard because there are really good shoppers on the team I joined :)

  44. Good vibrations to all fellow TT fans who are having problems now. I wish you a happy Spring full of blooming tomato plants <3

  45. Cat

    On a lighter note:

    I have been busy chasing mice. Seriously.

    One somehow came into my apartment around Halloween, just as it was turning cold. Being a “city girl”, and knowing nothing about mice, I took care of it (I know!) until the weather warmed up.

    Well, Jingles either invited friends, or he/she had a family. Being a softie, I refused to call maintenance, and refused to buy snap traps or glue traps. Sorry, I just couldn’t be so cruel.

    I looked online, and found instructions on DIY humane traps. That worked for a bit. Catch and release. Cat = 3. mice= 0

    A couple of days ago, I broke down and found a small humane trap for about $5. I had no luck with it for 2 days. Then today, I figured out what I was doing wrong. I fixed my errors, and in the last 2 hours have caught 2 mice.

    I have one left. I think. I hope.

    • Margarett

      Jingles? How sweet (and hilarious) that you named him! You made my day…thanks!!!

      • Cat

        Yeah. Originally Mr. Jingles (From The Green Mile). Then the twins showed up. Rerun and Ditto.

        Once I caught them and set them free outside where they belong, I had Houdini (who was the hardest to catch) and Little Elvis, who refused to leave the building.

        The one left is Mr. Squeeze Cheese. Hopefully, he is the last.

    • JustJenn

      That’s pretty sweet and kind..especially for a cat! :)

      • Cat

        I know. I’m such a putz when it comes to animals. And these are the tiny brown field mice, so they are kind of cute.

        I have to get them all out before my sister comes up next week. She’s from the country, and will take a shovel to this last one, if she has the chance. If I see her kill it, I will completely fall apart.

        She is also pushing me to get glue traps. Those are incredibly cruel. I just can’t do that.

        So far, catch and release is working. It’s a slow process, but humane.

  46. Lauren

    I first want to say, I have only posted here one other time. I find myself coming to your site when I need comfort. Thank you for providing me comfort/entertainment when I need it most. As for going in debt, that scares the hell out of me. But that being said…my brother who suffered from depression for the past several years committed suicide. I found him on February 8th. I cannot explain the sadness that I feel. I can’t sleep, which brings me to this site to find some comfort reading the posts. My brother had a beautiful home, much money put away for his retirement…but will never see that retirement. If I could talk to him I would say to him, if you feel you need to leave this world, wait one week. Take some of your money and do something that you have always dreamed of doing. You can’t take it with you, so enjoy it before you go. Please don’t go. But if you must, I wish you would enjoy yourself one last time. That is what I would tell my brother. I miss him so. The guilt of not being able to help him is crushing. Thank you for this site. My sleepless nights thank you too.

  47. Sliceo'pie

    My son (Just had his golden B-day on Sat turned 12 on the 12th! ) and I are currently watching Season 2 of, “Better Call Saul”. I can’t tell you how much I missed, “Breaking Bad” when it went off the air. Although this show is different there are certain aspects in the writing that similar to, “B. Bad” and it draws me in and makes me think about the show days after an episode. I don’t know if anyone else is watching.. I’m fascinated by ALL the characters-especially Mike and the relationship dynamic between Jimmy and Chuck-fascinating. Great acting and scripts..

  48. More Tea Please!

    This week I am starting my tomatoes from seed. I normally plant heirlooms but this year I am focusing on Dwarf Tomatoes developed by The Dwarf Tomato Project, a group of mostly amateur tomato enthusiasts from around the globe. Over the past 10 years they have been selectively breeding dwarf tomato plants with favorite heirlooms to develop strains that are very compact but have all of the flavor of heirlooms. You can fit more plants in the garden without the hassle of staking and tying.

    Growers in the US and Australia collaborated, so that they could get two seasons of trials over the course of the year. After extensive testing, they have relesed more than twenty varieties of all shapes and sizes of fruit. The released seed varieties are available commercially from seed companies such as Tomato Grower’s Supply, Johnny’s Selected Seeds and Victory Seed, no one company sells them all :(. There is a huge online forum of tomato enthusiasts called Tomatoville where the progress of the trials has been documented over the years. That is the best place to learn about the varieties. There is also a not-quite-up-to-date Dwarf Tomato Project website.

    I am lookimg forward to productive plants between 2′ and 4.5′ tall with good flavor. I also have seeds for Orange Jazz, a new variety developed by Artisan Seeds that I am looking forward to trialing.

    • Lime Brain

      That is so cool! I never heard of this before. Please keep us informed on how they do. It’s to late for me to try them this year, but there’s always next year!

      • More Tea Please!

        I will keep you posted. I should have extra plants if anybody is interested in the Atlanta area I will have some to give away. Just let me know. When I start seeding I’ll post varieties.

  49. tamaratattles

    So I wake up in the morning and lay in bed in some sort of metasleep every morning. A lot of things go on in my head then. Sometimes I’m trying to convince myself to get up and blog, sometimes I have weird dreams where I know I am dreaming, and lately a lot of times I think about death. This is a new thing, and something I hope passes if I don’t obsess about it too long.

    This morning, I was writing a novel. I was going to call it, Can’t See The Forest. I wasn’t sure what the novel was going to be about, but in the story, I would be subtlely pointing out trees. My writing outline was that there would be the real story, whatever that was, and the female protagonist (based on me of course) would point out the occasional loblolly with a random comment. Like something about that tree seems off to me. At the end of the story, the woman would die when a tree falls on her.

    This story/dreamNotDream came to me because there are giant pines all over my back yard. I try to keep them clean of Ivy and healthy, but my neighbor on one side killed himself a few years ago and those trees are not maintained at all. In fact one of that neighbor’s trees fell on my fence about six years ago narrowly missing my bedroom. So sometimes in the morning I look out my window and I see those tall dead trees and especially when my crazy was in full bloom, it would give me a lot of anxiety.

    So today, I shake it off and get up to watch The View. After The View, the local news starts and I can see the lead story before the tape ends. The top story today?

    ATLANTA —
    Atlanta fire confirms to Channel 2 Action News that a man has died after a tree fell on him Monday morning. The accident happened at 2095 Springlake Drive NW around 10 a.m.

    • Amazing, Tamara. I think your brain is telling you to write that story.

    • Cat

      Wow.

      Can’t wait to read the book. I believe trees have special powers. Not like Superheros, but they have some kind of old wise energy to them.

      I love trees. If you want to add illustrations, let me know.

      • amisteree

        Trees have a calming effect on me too, Cat. I hid out in them as a child, my dad built me a tree house, and I often use trees as a backdrop for meditation. So…about 20 years ago when my middle child (Fred) was a baby, I discovered a Mister Rogers lullaby called “Tree, Tree, Tree.” It was a perfect song to, er, “sing” to my baby. Only one word in the song: tree. Yo Yo Ma performed with Mister Rogers a few times, and they recorded the Tree Lullaby. Sorry- I am rambling. My mother has a phobia about trees falling, probably because a huge tree fell on her house in Auburn when she was a child. It was during a tornado, and demolished a large portion of their house. So trees are very curious to me.

      • Cat

        Thanks, amisteree! I will have to look that up! I need a song about trees!

    • Tara

      TT, maybe you can somehow include your crime novel in it. I am so self centered:( I have read, reread, rinse and repeat all your real crime post. They are phenomenal! You have a talent, and I know you can do it!
      Thank you all for the prayers and positive energy – my Dad is hopefully being moved out of ICU today. It could still go down hill, but no one is promised tomorrow. Hell, we are not promised anything. Thank you TT and TT’ers
      XoXo

  50. Cat

    Ugh. I am taking an internet break for a few days.

    A very good friend of mine on Facebook is still jumping to conclusions, and bashing the city I live in. I am struggling with the idea of unfriending a friend of 10 years.

    I am also out of data time on my tablet. And my cell phone won’t let me come here.

    So….I will take a few days to read books, and do other things. And I will be back on the 19th, when my tablet resets.

    Be good. And if you can’t be good, be careful. :)

  51. Xanadude

    BTW – It’s Kate Bornstein’s birthday today – born in 1948.

  52. Mimi

    Hi TT, your post is really getting me excited about springtime and I’ve never planted a tomato in my life! I am still watching Project Runway All Stars but I miss Tim Gunn, Heidi and Nina Garcia. (And I wish they would bring back my all time favorite Michael Kors!)

    I have been checking out the RHOC twitter feeds and facebook, and I have noticed that Shannon has been very quiet on social media for the past month. Also, I noticed she is following Vicki on twitter but she is not following Tamra, Meagan or Heather, so it makes me wonder what is going on in the OC. Thoughts?

    • sandra

      Mimi, That’s interesting about the OC. I thought Shannon was done with Vicki and happy to be part of the popular group. I dread another season of Meagan and Shannon. I am however curious to see what Shannon’s storyline will be. I’m almost caught up with 60 Days In, the 3rd part is on today @5. So far I’m loving it. LVP was on Jenny McCarthy’s radio show and it was very interesting. I would love to know what everybody thinks about their conversation.

  53. 60 days is brilliant but I fear for the teacher – he is a complete tool and I don’t see it ending well for him

    • sandra

      Yeah, Robert is totally clueless, arrogant and he thinks they like him. This can’t end well for him, but he won’t get it because, he’s so self-absorbed.

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