WWHL With Jax Taylor and Britanny Cartwright

WWHL Jax and Kentucky

 

 

“.@Andy I just saw my first four minutes of #PumpRules and you should be ashamed of that absolute shit for television. Shit.” ~ Some dude on Twitter.

“Could not possibly love any more than I do and am proud to say it! ~Andy’s response.

That’s an exchange between Andrew and an Internet troll just before the show started tonight.  Of course Andy loves Vanderpump Rules, it’s a cash cow!  Disclaimer Because Xanadude has #PumpRules duty, I get a bit of a break on Monday nights to do other things, like make dinner and wash dishes so I haven’t watched yet, but I plan to after this recap!  Andrew in all his pride over the show promised on his timeline that Kentucky “will be debuting her new chest.” So I guess we can expect more of his obsession over boobies. Sigh.

Britanny’s breasts look huge even though she has them fully covered up in a high neck dress.

James Kennedy said the was the white Kanye West tonight? I think that is a very fitting description. They are certainly evenly matched in the sense that they both seem to be two effeminate men who go out of their way to present as aggressively heterosexual to the public and are vile, unappealing and unstable. I think this is an apt comparison.

Jax and Kentucky on WWHL

Quick Questions for Kentucky:

Have you ever asked Jax what his number is? No and she doesn’t want to know.

Did you move to LA just for Jax? Yes.

What is your career goal? Ahhhh…. I’m uh…figuring that out.

Which of the girls are you closest to on the show? Scheana. Oh honey between Jax and Scheana you can really pick ’em.

Do you have to wear those tan tights at Hooters? (Um, you mean panty hose?) Yes.

Moving on, when Jax sees himself in a sweaty stupor over and over on TV, does he think he is hiding his habit? These are questions I wish Andy would ask. Britanny’s boobs allegedly cost more than $5K but less than $10K with his discount.

You know, when you watch this show sober after not having watched the episode, it really is hugely hysterically scripted. “Now go down to the beach and insult each other over who is the better comic. Really? Who writes this stuff?

Britanny loves everything about Jax. Everything y’all! His felony record, his profuse sweating, his on camera pleas for Lala to have sex with him while they were supposedly exclusive, the way he can fake cry, the easy with which he lies, his homeerotic relationship with the Toms, the way he poops with the bathroom door open, his ever collapsing septum, the way his face makes him look old enough to be her grandfather… There is just so much to love. y’all!

Gif From Tumblr

Gif From Tumblr

I’m not sure how to explain Britanny’s look tonight. It’s very Kentucky. It’s like if Winonna Judd and Elvis Presley had a son who grew up transgendered and then had the operation to become female and tried to keep the mullet look with long hair and also went way too large on a boob job and then went on her first talk show with a guy who whose “number has four digits” to answer random phone calls live and was worried she might piss herself at any moment. That’s kind of what it looks like.  Does that make sense? And her accent is times ten, which happens when southern people drink a lot. Don’t ask me how I know this. It’s actually more of a cross between a Mohawk and a mullet.

Actually, I’m not sure she is drinking and her face looks…well… please tell me these two have been using protection and she’s not pregnant. She looks sort of pregnant in the face.

Most of the questions can be answered with Jax really, really hates James. And Britanny really, really loves Jax.

Oh Jax made a huge play for sympathy tonight with soft target Peter saying that when you are a 36 year old man stealing sunglasses from a store there is something wrong there. Yes there is, it’s called drugs and alcohol. I’m going to guess you were being a weepy drunk when you made that comment about losing all of your friends. My DVR is paused on his face right as the clip ended and he has beady eyes and the slightest self satisfied grin. Andy seems to be buying it.

Andy played a scene with Katie and Stassi sitting down. I can’t tell you what they talked about because the clip was not that long and I spent all of it wondering if Katie had some sort of throat surgery or perhaps rope burns or hickeys or something around her neck as she had the weird scarf wound very tightly around her throat. And um, not in a good way.

Britanny says she got the size boobs she wanted. She loves them and no one else’s opinion matters to her.

Finally Andy comes with the Shaded. First he said Jax was very Jaxed up tonight on #PumpRules and Jax says he was drinking vodka straight from the bottle. Britanny says, “oh! Dear!” and laughs and laughs.  Did she learn that from Scheana? Now Andy is going to ask Britanny about things Jax has done in past season and show her clips. YAY!

Andy asks how many shots he took at Peter’s party when he drank all the shots that were for everyone. She guess five and then laughs and laughs when he drinks 7 and says look how young you were!  Yeah, that was like two or three years ago. He looks two or three decades older.  Is that normal?

Andy shows Jax screwing girls in bathrooms, stealing from his employer and ruining a perfectly good chunky sweater to get in a fight and  Kentucky just laughs and laughs at how cute he is. And his family and friends love him, y’all!  Kentucky gets one of the cheap weird aqua colored camisoles that she will never be able to wear again, and Jax gets the good sweatpants, because Andy really likes Jax. A lot. And he probably doesn’t even have to pay.

Britanny agrees with a caller who says the reason Jax hates James is because he is a younger version of himself. Britanny says she just turned 27. Oh wow. I didn’t realize her brain had fully formed. Now I am concerned about congenital issues often associated with family trees without many forks. Because, she’s a couple standard deviations below the mean, y’all.

Andy is having Lala back on WWHL  on Wednesday.  Oh joy!

41 Comments

Filed under Entertainment News, Vanderpump Rules

41 responses to “WWHL With Jax Taylor and Britanny Cartwright

  1. Xanadude

    It was glossed over that in real time Britt no longer works at Hooters

  2. Jax is 36? BWAAAAHAAAA

    I’m almost a decade older than he but he looks much, much older than I do. (If I do say so myself…)

    Or as my mother would say: 40 miles of rough road.

  3. Tp

    I think you’re a little hard on Britney. She’s seems like a sweet girl and she’s very relaxed and easy going. If there ever will be a good type for Jax, I believe she’s it. I think she’s doing pretty well on the show. Why do people tend to think that all girls from the south are dumb just because we have a different accent ? She seems like a genuinely authentic , sweet girl. Give her a break.

    • janet

      Ive thought that too, that this type of girl might be the rare type to handle Jax. Shes very easy going , positive and not overly emotional. By being this way Jax is not as in control, and maybe might live up to a few standards. Or not.

      • Jax will never understand emotions or feelings the way that other people do. He will never really be able to empathize with other . He can verbalize those things, but not really feel them. His narcissism demands that he be the center of every situation. That is why he is such a man whore. He gets all the attention in a new relationship. However, a sweet girl like Brittany is a prize and she can demand one thing he can do – follow rules. I think he loves her as much as he can love anyone. Other than Kristen (PERFECT COUPLE) Brittany is the best person for him. By the way, although Jax is probably lugging around a huge personality and possible character disorder, the scene with Peter seemed real where he admits what hurts him. Admittedly, he is not feeling the pain of others … but he can acknowledge his own. Seems like progress to me. And really, his narcissism is no worse than anyone else on the show, Lisa and Ken Vanderpump included.

      • janet

        I agree completly with Karen and her analysis of Jax. I have noticed there are more and more of these types of stunted individuals walking around trying to appear normal. Im not surprised that Brittany isnt super innocent , as I think you need a bit of naughty and a sting of judgement to try and love such a flawed charecther as Jax. I think almost any age can be stupid when it comes to love. I would just say that at age 27 most women start wanting to settle down and nest, have a baby get married or at least think and dream and perhaps panic about.

    • tamaratattles

      Who said anything about her accent? If you can’t figure out why she’s dumb, then you are probably just as dumb. Remember sweet little Jessica Parido? The one who dated Mike Shuhed another guy who had been on the show cheating on women but no where near as openly as Jax? Jax has a drug/alcohol problem, just pled to a felony, steals from is employer, has had more sexual partners than most porn stars, has been rumored very widely to have been a gay live in lover for pay in Miami after which time HE CHANGED HIS NAME….

      But yeah, that’s just what a “relaxed and easying going girl” like Kentucky (who by the way is called Kentucky because none of his friend bother to remember the names of the idiots he is fucking all at the same time) needs in her life. The girl is A FUCKING FOOL headed for disaster.

      • janet

        Well I dont like guys like Jax, but some do. Jax seems to have that effect on some women, they want to save him or prove their womanhood by taming him. Im not sure what Brittany deal is, but Jax has never had any shortage of women or will he ever despite his bad reputation out there. My issue with guys like Jax is the lies that hurt people, rather than being honest about their intentions. .

      • I am wondering if they will still be together after the reunion airs. Great recap, TT, thanks!

      • It will be an exhausting relationship for Brittany. In order to keep it together and functioning, Brittany will have to play bad cop and make sure Jax follows all of the rules. This means constantly checking up on him and no trust. I suspect that Jax is a sociopath, in that his inability to feel empathy for and bond with others handicaps his entire life. Since he cannot empathize, he cannot feel love and without the ability to love, his life is one gray boring tedious maze. He needs many distractions, namely sex and chemicals, and will engage in risk taking behavior, such as stealing expensive sunglasses he could well afford to purchase. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be unable to love another person or to bond with them. It must be horrible. When you think about it, his life is pretty pathetic and tragic. Maybe he will get some help. Frankly, when I was watching his drunken cocaine fueled argument with the Toms, I was thinking no way I would go home with that guy. Waaayyy to messed up and angry. Felt a leeeeetle concerned from Brittany.

      • Jaana

        I respectfully disagree. I think Brittany is no fool. She knows exactly what she is doing. She seized a great opportunity to be on TV. She got Dlist fame and new boobs. This girl may be the first to use Jax instead of him using her only.

      • Miguel

        Oh TT, thou art so wise & so funny – I wish I’d found you sooner!!!

    • therealdeb

      I have a good friend from Tennessee, we live I the northwest and she cracks me up with her accent. How she says July kills me, but it isn’t just females with accents. It’s a slow drawl that is so relaxed you wonder what is going on. It’s like the females from New York all sound hard and ignorant with their accent. We know they aren’t it is just the sound. And all British sound uppity, lol

    • Sari

      Tamara is from the south.
      Your argument is invalid.

    • Shae

      Her accent has nothing to do with why I think she’s dumb, her actions, choices and behavior do.

    • Lemme see…….

      Brittany meets a drug-addled bartender on a reality show with a sketchy and dubious past.
      So she leaves home, drives 32 hours, immediately moves into his spacious studio in Koreatown, allows herself to undergo major surgery to increase her breasts to the size he prefers.

      AND YOU THINK WE THINK SHE IS STUPID BECAUSE OF HER ACCENT.

      Yeah, makes sense.
      Your comment lives up to your name.

      • I would not call her stupid … I would say she has some weakness that Jax has exploited. People like Jax are drawn to weaknesses like bees to flowers. Whatever that weakness is, it is not a reflection of her intelligence. She will learn.

      • Toddy

        Ugh, I’m hoping this is just tv. Or she’s a paid beard. Otherwise, her interest in him is pathetic and maybe stalkerish.

  4. Spilledperfume

    I was disgusted with myself for watching.

  5. Sari

    “And he probably doesn’t even have to pay.”

    Touché.

  6. Queen of the Nile

    Good God … Brittany overdid with the boobs. She looks downright matronly.

  7. Was Jax not drinking last night? I’ve wondered about the conditions of his parole. Since he used drunkenness as an excuse for his crime, can the judge order no drinking while on probation?

  8. Bridgett

    I cannot believe Kentucky is 27. I thought she was only 22, which made it easier to accept her blindness to Jax as just being naive, but 27…wow.

    TT, I am surprised you didn’t comment on her rocking back and forth in her swivel chair…I wanted Andy to tell her to stop!

  9. I was talking with my boyfriend and he thinks they make alot of money does any one no what like Jax or Stassi or someone like that makes an episode my guess was like 1000 is that to low?

  10. cavex2

    Loved it when Andy asked Brittany how she would react if she found out that Jax had done gay porn in the past…. Jax looked like he was having a stroke and Andy had his shady face. But they changed the subject so quickly that Brittany only had the chance to look shocked and confused and mumble something.
    Brittany’s hair looked horrible and I could not stop looking at the train wreck. She looked better on the VPR after show. Also Brittany’s dress showed off her new assets on the after show. I love the VPR after show…. so funny and much better questions than Andy does on WWHL.

    • Tanya

      What is the VPR after show of which you speak? We don’t get jack in Canada! We don’t even get WWHL, although we do get most Bravo shows via a network here called Slice. You’d think we were one of those countries that regulate what people can access on TV and the Internet (like China). I’m surprised Andy hasn’t expanded his man-pire across the border, TBH. Many Bravolebrities have Canadian connections, and/or are very supportive of their Canadian fans.(ie, David Foster, Lisa Hochstein, Lydia McGoughlin, shows shot in BC and Calgary, and my personal favourite…Carmen Dickman, Jax’s ex and Kristin’ BFF, is from my town, Saskatoon!)

      Great recap as per usual, TT, I am at work and you have me LOL-ing.

      • tamaratattles

        Do you get The People’s Couch? Two of the girls from that show, Brandy and Julie interview the Pump People about the current episode. I don’t think it is all the time. I think it just came back. They generally ask much more hard hitting questions than Andy does on WWHL and or fangirl out a bit over LVP and Stassi. BLECH. :) Try to find a pirated version on Youtube or wherever foreigners do their nefarious searches for videos. :)

      • CanadaCat (Tanya)

        No, we don’t get that either! We are inundated with all things American media, yet the dumb sh*t I’m interested in vegetating on isn’t accessible.
        I will hone in on my nefarious skills…THANK GOD FOR YOU TT! And your wonderful posters. Or I would be totally out of the loop. And have no one to laugh at these people with! ?

  11. captivagrl

    Now she has a porn star body. After a few more months with Jax, she’ll have a matching porn star face.

  12. LisaPat

    Britt looked terrible. Like a little girl trying to sex it up.

    • I think she was wearing waaaayyy too much smoky eye, you could hardly see her eyes. And if I just had a boob job, I would show those puppies off in an more age appropriate dress. She should always wear something with color. The black is not her friend.

  13. Tara

    I feel like Brittany is channeling Priscilla Presley.

Please Read the COMMENTING RULES before commenting.