Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: “B.Y.O.M: Bring Your Own Man”

RHOP Karen


by Guest Contributor Ben C.

Some of you are wondering if I’ve died, if I’ve been faking an illness, or if I’ve been hanging out at Danbury undercover. Will I refuse to show my medical records? Will I sit with T.T. at lunch and force her to take my medical records in a mysterious manila folder? Am I actually a very famous Kardashian who just had a baby this past week?? One thing is for sure, the handcuffs to the radiator are tighter and shorter than ever. But at least they’re still pink with glitter.

This episode starts out on a suuper light note, with Karen describing how she was once mugged leaving a mall parking lot. She lost a diamond necklace that day, but was able to save her diamond ring by hiding it in “never-never land.” She feels obligated to enroll her daughter in Krav Maga before she leaves for college. The pair share a moment, and Karen seems to shed potentially real tears. She bought Rayvin a pink stun gun. Karen is almost sort of back in the likeable column. For now.

Meanwhile, Ashley and her bank account/husband are holding interviews for a new personal assistant. Ashley needs someone who can assist her, and run social media for her new modern Australian style restaurant. Sorry Ashley, I’ve only got time for one authentic Australian restaurant in my life, and that’s Outback Steakhouse. Ashley really wants to separate herself from her husband and make her own way. So naturally, she invites her husband to assist with the interview process. The couple hold a really professional interview. So professional, it probably ended in a sexual harassment suit. Blow my long hard tube, anyone?? Someone find me the application for this job ASAP.

RHOP Gizelle and Karen

Sweet relief! Charrisse finally ran a brush through her hair (and slapped on some weird golden-tribal temporary arm tattoos) all to go outside and water the yard. Robyn is coming over to discuss her marital (non-marital?) woes. Her husband/non-husband is potentially moving to another city, so Robyn is left deciding if she would go with him or not. I think Robyn realizes she’s come to the wrong person for advice, when Charrisse announces (with an evil shit grin on her face) she let Eddie, her husband, know (VIA TEXT MESSAGE!) that she’d like to begin the process of filing for divorce. Charrisse is tired and fed up. She gives Eddie credit for being a great family man, but a not-so-great husband. Eddie has yet to return the text.

Because nothing good ever lasts, it’s time for to Karen flip her ‘evil-switch’ back on. She invites Gizelle over to her house for more discussion on…yep, you guessed it! Etiquette. They both agree it was extremely tacky for Ashley to not have an open bar at her birthday party (ugh, I kind of agree though.) Karen wants to show Ashley how to throw a “proper” party, so she’s renting a yacht and throwing a BYOM (bring your own man) party. The shade is really real with that theme. Talk shifts to Katie, and the ‘d-word’ (drunk? drugs? doughnuts?) Gizelle announces on national television she believes Katie was ‘on something’ at Ashley’s party. Karen won’t comment, “because Katie is a devoted mother” but her face tells us everything we need to know. I wish Karen would remove whatever fake nail or eyelash is lodged up her never-never land, just so she could understand what a good ol’ night of wine drunk feels like. In a twist of fate not even Carlos King could come up with, every time Katie’s name is mentioned – lightening and thunder strike, as if on cue.

B.Y.O.R.T.P.

B.Y.O.R.T.P.

Later, Ashley and her mom, Sheila, have cocktails at Ashley’s place. Sheila recently filed for bankruptcy, and is clearly going through a rough time, because she looks like she thinks she’s on a cruise ship. The cruise ship in her mind. Ashley wants to take care of her mom with her husband’s money. Sheila, however, isn’t too cool with this idea, and refuses the help. Unless she really needs it, she adds.

Catch up on everything Real Housewives of Potomac right here!

Katie invites Karen out for coffee, with the intention of asking Karen to help with the Rost Foundation. She wants access to Karen’s ‘rolodex’. Do people actually still use that word? Katie starts off by apologizing to Karen for getting wine drunk, and having fun at a party. Karen eats this up. Her eyes tell me she’s about 3 Xanax deep. Katie gets to the point, and declares she wants to throw a casino night (lol) to benefit a local youth theatre program. She wants to raise way too much money, in a way too short amount of time. Karen turns the offer down, telling Katie she has too much on her plate already. She won’t give up the golden Rolodex that easily. Snap, girl.

Across town, Gizelle is going on a date (lunch, not dinner) with a man named Herman. Herman shows up wearing lime green pants. Gizelle comments she needs a man with a little edge, just tell her you’ve been to jail for a night and you’re in. Such logic. They feed each other oysters (Herman thought they’d be fried) and Gizelle decides to invite him to Karen’s upcoming BYOM yacht party. Herman gives me major RHOA Walter vibes, only he actually seems interested in what’s going on. He tries to kiss her after the date, but Gizelle slaps him away. Meanwhile, Katie and Ashley (and their men) have a double date at the golf course. Katie and Ashley arrive dressed in their best golfing neons. After they stand around and hit some balls, Katie and Ashley find a place to sit and sip (Katie orders iced tea, Ashley orders Corona. Hashtag Respect.) Katie catches Ashley up on her coffee date with Karen. She tells her Karen turned her offer down to help with Casino Night, while simultaneously criticising both Karen and Ashley for skewing their events to a younger age group. They call her ageist. Oh, these girls.

RHOP Golf

Finally, it’s time for Karen’s yacht party. All the ladies are getting ready for the evening. Karen uses her home-intercom system to call Raymond up to the bedroom to “approve the looks” for the yacht. This woman really is something. She’s straight from the early 90’s, with her kitchen countertops and home-intercom. I regretfully love it. Robyn and Juan are opting out of the party, since their relationship is confusing enough. Charrisse, however, calls her housekeeper up to her closet with champagne and a bottle of tropicana, and is ready to put her flying-solo game face on. Ashley arrives to the yacht with Michael, who is wearing a pirate hat. Because they are the “fun couple” or something. Karen approves of the hat, and comments she likes Michael because he’s “loaded and fun!” Gizelle is next to arrive with Herman, who has opted for a nice electric blue pant this time. They argue back and forth if they’re on a real date or not. I’d be embarrassed too if my man owned only a variety of rainbow colored pants. Karen decides she doesn’t want to throw Gizelle under the bus, she’d rather drive the bus right over her, and asks Herman if he is “Mr. Miami.” Mr. Miami turns out to be another dude (one of many, apparently) Gizelle has in her ‘rolodex’.  The shade does not go unnoticed by Gizelle. Speaking of shade, Charrisse definitely picks up on it. She says even she wouldn’t invite herself to a couples only party. She brings drunk aunt as her wingwoman.

Karen makes a costume change at some point, while Michael tries to take his off and go for a swim in the river. Of course, the ladies quickly put a stop to this because, etiquette. It’s only a few seconds later, however, when Katie makes a comment about having an enlarged clit – they all laugh and cheers. I’d love a copy of the Guide to Etiquette they’re all going by. Ashley invites all the women (women only! enlarged clits allowed!) to her beach house in Delaware Beach.  Looks like we’re gearing up for the first “girls trip” of the season! Exotic Delaware Beach, look out!

Next Week:

The girls all head to Ashley’s beach house

Ashley puts the ladies in twin size beds and everyone freaks out

Robyn breaks down in front of all the ladies

All the women confront Katie about her “behavior” at Ashley’s birthday party

Michael surprises the women on the trip, all hell breaks loose

Follow me on twitter @bennayy and tell me what you thought!

40 Comments

Filed under Entertainment News, Real Housewives of Potomac, Real Housewives of Potomac, RHOP

40 responses to “Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: “B.Y.O.M: Bring Your Own Man”

  1. Spilledperfume

    Great recap.

    You were missed. Glad to see you’re back.

  2. iloveearlgrey

    I love this show. The drama is light and stupid, which I enjoy. I wasn’t feeling Charisse and Karen at first, but I think I like all of them now. They each have something interesting going on.

    • lauraannb

      Yeah, I couldn’t stand Karen & Charisse after the 1st show, especially Charisse. However, when I see Karen with her daughter Rayvin, at the self-defense class, etc., she’s likable & funny. Charisse, not so much. I am enjoying the show too. Thanks for recapping Ben C.

      • lauraannb

        I forgot to add though, that just like Ben C. said, Karen is likeable at times, & then the switch IS flipped, & she’s back to unlikeable with her “etiquette” airs. Does she not know that by bringing up people’s lack of etiquette, is not very good etiquette? lol….

  3. JennLovesAndy

    This show is so bad it’s good. I really wanted to tweet out something about vinyl mini blinds in Karen’s bedroom while watching but don’t know how to actually use Twitter. I guess I am living in 90s too, eh? Lol

    • Am I the only that noticed the 90’s era big box TV that is NOT a flat screen in the corner Karen’s living room?

      • Jujue

        It will be very very interesting to see the changes made to these homes (kitchens & decor) next season, if there is one. I live in a super duper modest home and all my shit looks newer than there’s– it’s the strangest thing..

      • More Tea Please!

        That TV was unbelievable! It goes with the 80s kitchen.

      • Shellbelle

        Yes!! I also noticed that Karen has no curtains in her bedroom. Just ugly old plastic blinds. She should spend some of her black Bill Gates money and get some window coverings in this decade.

  4. WhyOWhy

    I’m still not sure how I feel about this show. I do know that I loathe Karen. She thinks she’s the queen of all, but really she’s not. I would love nothing more than to see someone put her in her place. I think Ashley is a social climber and does NOT fit in with this group. She’s desperate and her husband is not amusing. Katie is also desperate and I really hate her, too. I like Robyn the best and Gizelle second best.

    Remind me again why I watch this show?

    • Miguel

      So far, I’m with you on all counts, WhyOWhy!

    • LDD

      lol WhyOWhy, you think Ashley doesn’t fit in because she’s a social climber? I think that is the only thing that she has in common with these women… they’re all trying to claw their way over one another toward some socio-economic mountain top

      Great work Ben as usual

      • Yes they are except for Charris. She did have a little money sine Eddie was a player in the nba and a coach of the Wizards.

        Her clothing, wigs and weaves don’t show she had money though.

  5. Tara

    Pink glitter handcuffs!!! WoW! It is all worth it then:)

  6. More Tea Please!

    Welcome back Ben! You need to improve your working conditions – you deserve nothing less than Swarovski crystals on your pink handcuffs, if the request is not met in a timely manner you may need to start a union for indentured, errr…reality show interns. Just think of the demands – health insurance, hell ya! 401ks, maternity/paternity leave, pet care.

    Katie didn’t ask for Karen’s Roladex, she asked for the “Rollerdeck”!

    Herman = Walter? Yes, yes, yes! I thought the same thing. But who ranks higher on the social totempole, a politician, or a tow truck operator? That’s too close to call.

    About Karen’s bedroom – did you catch that beast of a TV in the corner? It had to be at least 15 years old, it might have had tubes in it, color screen optional. No, no, no Bill Gates!

    • joyce Carrington

      Did anyone notice Karen’s hairline? She is bald headed, apparently because she had too many weaves. Last night that hair line had half of her head bald. The wig was half cocked because she didn’t realize she didn’t pull it all the way down. That woman is a trip and is as phony as a $2.00 bill. She is the most pretentious of all.

      • Miguel

        I didn’t want 2 point it out; however, very early on, I noticed Karen, Gizelle & Ashley all seem 2 have receding hairlines. The result, weaves that fit like a halter top for the head!

    • Jujue

      YES!! I rewinded to get a second look at that tv… Anyone catch the nozzle-less garden hose that required the use of a thumb? Can you imagine LVP spraying her flowers with her thumb nozzle? ?

    • Lisaj

      Lol yes! I heard that too, rollerdex, rewound it twice then laughed my ass off!

  7. The 70’s-built house I grew up in had an intercom system. It was THE FUCKING BEST! They remain so today.

    Also, the beaches in Delaware are splendid. Snark will not be appreciated!

  8. GirlMe

    I was mesmerized by Karen’s wig. It slipped so far back you could see her really hair. She looked NeNe bald.

    I love Giselle! Shes so funny and the swag comment was hiliarious.

    Ashley is a very determined, smart girl. Cant believe her man was gonna jump off boat in dark. He couldve really injured himself. I dont recall Australian food being so good. I do remember them putting beets on burgers. Yuck.

    Love Delaware beach. Rehoboth beach is a gooood time. Like this show.

  9. titilaya

    Karen is the most obnoxious of the ladies. Last night her wig was not on straight and her hairline is far on the middle of her head. She has set herself up as the Queen Bee, as though she is far better than the younger women. However, she could benefit enormously from a dose of humility. Ashley and the one who is so thirsty for that man to marry her should get their own show.

  10. Lord these comments have me cracking up! I will say I enjoyed the last 2 episodes more than the one prior to these! Ok Katie is a bit of a wild card too but she is trying to hide it! That girl is something else! Ashley could do with some polishing but I like her mom though! Once again because I’m always trying to multitask I missed Karen’s hairline reveal! Maybe one day she will we are her natural hair like Katie did a few weeks ago!

  11. Ooops where are my manners? Ben it’sgreat to have you back! You were missed!

  12. Meredo

    Welcome back, Ben! Missed you and you RHBH recap. I sooo wanted to hear your take on last weeks episode ( hint, hint, haha).
    Great recap of RHOP. I didnt think I would watch this one, but Im slowly being drawn in. I think I like the ladies in about he same order you do with the exception of Gizelle. Don’t know why, but I find myself liking her the most. Maybe it’s because she reminds me of Vanessa Williams (whom I love) or her kids who are so darn sweet, I figure their mom must be a pretty good person. I cant stand Andrew and wanted to barf at his and Katie’s vulgar display of PDA. Yuk!
    Looking forward to next weeks episode when Michael (he gives me the creeps too) crashes their ladies trip.
    Hope you recap it and tomorrow night”s RHBH!

  13. Tha Riddler

    Welcome back Ben! Disappointed we didn’t receive any sick selfies while you were out…

  14. Gizelle reminds me of Evelyn from Basketball wives.
    Makes me love her even more!

  15. First time commenter. Hope I’m not in the window linking section
    Gizelle reminds me of Evelyn from basketball wives. Makes me love her more.

  16. I can’t wait to see the beach house in Delaware… I am shocked they even brought a beach house in Delaware and not in St. Michaels MD.

  17. dmd666

    Karen’s bedroom made me laugh and laugh and laugh.

  18. Spilledperfume

    I was hypnotized by Karen’s weave and her hairline. I’m glad that I’m not the only one who noticed. Going by some of her talking heads she gets rid of that awful weave so maybe she saw how bad it looked on camera.

    I’m going to have to keep my eyes open for the 80’s TV.

  19. newjerzeyboy

    Personally I think Karen is the only one that holds this show together. She’s a woman of distinction ( or so she thinks) and she has a lot to share with the other ladies, whether they want to hear it or not. I’m just curious, who the hell in production is telling Karen, “Your hair looks great”.

  20. Skeeter

    I like the ladies on this show with the exception of Katie. Good God Almighty – desperate much??? Can’t she tell that douchebag doesn’t want to marry her? She’s just worried about her image and not much else. I’m not a prude, but that show they put on in front of everyone was disgusting. I think she thought she was at the after prom party where she was bound and determined to get laid!!!

    • Queen of the Nile

      How about her getting into Ashley’s birthday car and then flipping them off as they drove away. She was definitely feeling no pain. I think Giselle is a riot — she makes me laugh with her talking heads!

  21. Last week I got really upset when Katie unveiled her “new” nanny room & her MRS room. The “old” nanny room was a bed & bedside table shoved in a tiny, windowless corner of a room that the rest of the family used. The “new” nanny room was that same space with a wall built right at the foot of the bed (it didn’t look like there was enough room to even put a fitted sheet on the bed). What an upgrade! The MRS room, on the other hand, was an otherwise empty bedroom with a single chair, mirror & “MRS” sign. I was already disgusted by Katie’s thoughtless treatment of her nanny but paired with the tacky (and much more necessary) MRS room… Blegh.

  22. susan

    Thanks Ben. Katie/Andrew — if you have to beg someone to marry you–slim chance that it will work.

  23. T D

    Was Potomac the site of the end of the Whig party? Slip sliding away.

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