Blind Item: A Place of No.

Blind item psst

 

This is the story of two girls and a boy, as is often the case on this east coast reality show. Let’s call them Buffy, Muffy and Dick.  Buffy and Muffy were picked to be on a reality show where they were supposed to portray wealth and social status. Amusingly, there was little of that amongst the cast and production would often step in to provide things like a private chef or a posh vacation to create the proper façade. While most of the girls on the show quickly adapted to the pretense, Buffy did not. Buffy made it abundantly clear that she did not have the wealth or the social status, but she had something better. Buffy had hutzpah and a dream. Buffy used every opportunity to sell her brand, a brand that didn’t even exist at the beginning of the show.  And before you could say “satchels of gold!” Buffy made a gazillion dollars and could buy and sell the rest of them. That dream turned into a brand worth hundreds of millions! True story!

This made all the other reality folks jealous and they wanted to do the same thing. Who could blame them?  Some did their own thing, to moderate success, but others continued to flounder. Muffy, whose poor decisions landed her in tremendous debt, continued to bounce from one man to another for idea after idea. You see, the city is full of people who want to bring a reality personality in to sell their brand online. But Muffy made a big mistake. Muffy’s new friend (not Dick, let’s call him Paul) wanted Muffy to push his new product line. The only problem was, his product name was very, very similar to Buffy’s brand.  So Buffy trademarked Paul’s name to keep them from using it. Problem solved for Buffy. Buffy went on being rich and hyperfocused.

Buffy how is your money gif
But Muffy was madder than a wet hen. Muffy whined and complained to everyone who would listen that Buffy was being a bully and ruining her big plans. One of the people listening was Dick. And this is where things get hilarious. As we should all know by now that when you go on a reality show you sign away pretty much all of your basic rights. Your cast mate could say that you drown kittens on the weekend and skin them for fun and you cannot sue for defamation. Saying terrible things about your cast mates is part and parcel of being on the show. But Dick, who has absolutely no dog in the fight, was outraged that Buffy protected her brand. OUTRAGED!  So Dick did what any GBFFN who wants to be on reality TV would do. He contacted Gloria Fucking Allred.  I’ll wait for you to catch your breath after that outburst of hysteria.

You see Dick feels like Muffy is being exploited by her production company. Which of course she is. This is what they do. If the paycheck you so desperately need is not worth the exploitation then perhaps you could have quit, two, three, four years ago. The contract is very clear that nasty, horrible things can and will be said about you both on the show and in the world at large.  Dick wants Gloria to stop production from ruining the lives of reality stars and treating them like chattel. Um, what would be the fun in that? And all of this over Muffy being blocked from hijacking someone’s brand (by proxy)? Really?

Yes, really. Muffy, or more specifically Muffy’s newest hanger-on, tried to hijack Buffy’s brand: yet, Muffy is the injured party according to Dick.  Dick thinks that the person with the highly successful brand is “a con artist” and Muffy is the victim. Dick is quite worked up by all of this! And it doesn’t take much to get Muffy worked up either. So these two are hyping each other up.

I have questions. Who is going to pay Gloria Allred?  Muffy is already practically gone Grey Gardens and  based on what we see on TV is unable to afford a plumber. If you can’t afford to keep your home high and dry, how will you pay for Gloria Allred?  Let’s be real. Buffy is already paying the orthodontics bill for dozens of lawyers’ snaggletoothed children. Hiring one more to file a copyright request and stop an attack on her brand is nothing to her. If in fact Muffy had not tried to highjack Buffy’s brand, Buffy might have paid for the Pink Plumber to drop by Muffy’s house and keep her from sleeping in a wet bedroom. Allegedly.

bufffy a world of no
As for Gloria Allred taking some moronic case to basically challenge Muffy’s contract that she has signed not once, but SIX times on advice of her contract lawyer…. ridiculous. Edited to make it clear that Allred taking this case would be ridiculous and not one believes she would take the case. BECAUSE THIS WHOLE THING IS RIDICULOUS.

Muffy is struggling with empty nest syndrome and serious financial issues. Even on camera, life is not all flowers and lollipops. For the last few seasons people have been concerned about her self-medicating. Ironically, Buffy tried to be a good friend to her and point her in the direction of getting the help she needed. Buffy even offered to share  her business acumen and help her with her multitude of business ventures. But Muffy’s mind is clouded and she can’t seem to make good decisions when it comes to choosing businesses or friends.

The saddest part is that Muffy is a very likeable person. Watching her cut away all the friends trying to help her and fall in with people just using her for exposure is sad.  Muffy and Buffy are currently filming, but Buffy is over trying to help. Their trip to Mexico in the upcoming season may be muy caliente for all the wrong reasons.

Note: I don’t think you will be able to guess who Dick is, as I’m not sure he has been on the show and you would not be familiar with the name. I assume that is why he is Muffy’s new GBFFN though. So I expect to see him next season. At any rate, this blind is about Muffy.

62 Comments

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62 responses to “Blind Item: A Place of No.

  1. kennedy

    Ramona, Bethany and some idiot

  2. Bethany and Sonja–Grey Gardens clue.

    • Kim

      Yes! I completely agree. Sonja wanted to sell “Tipsy Girl” claiming it was different than Betthany’s “Skinny Girl” because it’s not low-cal. B stopped the bs in its tracks. Sonja has been on the outs since (I follow Page Six & also am in NYC. Has been in the press). Don’t know who the guy is (gay best friend, I’m guessing?) but I’m sure he’ll be portrayed as the villain this RHONY season if he’s causing trouble with production. Sonja needs better friends.

      • erikainhb

        Yup. I follow Page Six too and this has been all over it. TT ‘s description of it is far more entertaining though! Thanks!!!

    • Minky

      Yep. I think you’re right. Who could be Dick, though? That part had me thinking it could be Luanne because she’s got a new man now too. But Grey Gardens solved it.

    • Bethenny, Sonja & Peter. Peter can pay Gloria Allred after the show gets cancelled.

  3. Cat

    Sounds like Sonja. I can’t remember the name of the one who tried to help her with business advice. The Yummy Tummy one, or whatever her product name is.

    I have no idea who Dick is. Sonja seems to have a revolving door for Dicks.

  4. Voyer II the sequel

    Sonja, Bethany & some reality tv star wannabe… Peter?

  5. Sadly, Sonja, Bethenny, and one of the random men Sonja sleeps with.

  6. Spilledperfume

    I’m going to guess that Muffy is Sonja Morgan.

  7. Buffy = Bethenny

    Muffy = Sonja

    The brand in question = “Tipsygirl”

    Red Herrings: “Place of no”, “Satchels of gold” which reference Kelly Bensimon to throw us off the track. TT can’t make it TOO easy now, can she?

    • Erica

      Bethenny wrote a book called Place of Yes. Kind of got pissed at that because I use it all the time (esp. when getting dumped on by the negative nellies when I’m in a brainstorm session with them looking for ideas for a non-profit I volunteer for)

  8. LisaPat

    I so agree with the “con artist” label. The adjective “skinny” and the noun “girl” is so not worth 100 million. . . I see all the bottles and mixes gathering dust on the shelves at Tuesday Morning, where they were shipped when they didn’t sell at the first 2 stores. What a great con move!! Now Bethany is rich and thinks she’s brilliant, and she basically is because the world fell for it.

    • swizzle

      It was worth big bucks because she earned big bucks for it. I actually enjoy the Skinny Girl margarita. Haven’t tried anything else. People earn big bucks all kinds of interesting ways. I respect those who can and do (as long as it’s legal).

  9. Lime Brain

    I know it’s Sonja and I’ve been reading about this in the papers.

    I like Sonja, but sadly, I think she is to far gone in the delusional department. I think Bravo needs to open a Happy Sanatorium for the kind hearted but misdirected housewives that shouldn’t be on reality shows anymore. Kim and Sonja should be the first two allowed in.

  10. Dee-AZ @jordan1022

    Bethanny & Sonja. Lmao @ Gloria Allrad. I heard somewhere Sonja was teaming up w some Dude that tried to do business w Ramonacoaster last season

  11. tamaratattles

    Congratulations on being able to identify who the housewife who has created a brand worth hundreds of millions of dollars with by using “things you have read about this other places.”

    I’m going to bet you haven’t read a peep about Gloria Allred other places. But hey! Way to miss the tea while congratulating yourself for figuring out the only housewife who created a brand on the show making a gajillion dollars. I know these blinds are very hard for you.

  12. Lime Brain

    TT, so true about not hearing about Gloria anywhere else. Sorry I missed out on that part. I tend to cover my ears and start yelling, “la, la, la..” whenever I hear or see her name.

  13. Pip

    Bethenny, Sonja, and the pirate. Good dirt, Thanks, Tamara!

  14. Laura

    This one was almost to easy, can’t figure out the guy though. Guess I will have to wait for it all to unfold.. Thanks!

  15. Matzah60

    Brilliant writing, Tamara! I really got a kick out of reading your mystery and using your clues to figure out who it was. I see that all have been mentioned above. Gray Gardens is sadly Sonja. Poor Sonja. I think Dick is Peter who is a Dick. His name is self-descriptive!! Didn’t he join Ramona in a joint venture on some restaurant last year?

    I LOATHE Gloria Allred. I think she is the biggest media fame whore amongst Buffy, Muffy, and Dick. She touts herself as a feminist who looks after the rights of downtrodden women, but she is always in it for the multiple press conferences, media blitz, and having her face smacked up on some TV show in her red suit.

    Great, great story!!

    • Miguel

      I’m with Matzah60 on all counts!!!!

      • Minky

        Ditto. Allred is basically a parody of the proverbial ambulance chaser. If she’s attached herself to a case you just know it’s a joke.

    • I can’t believe Allred has actually taken this case! Sonja is the REAL con artist, Allred won’t see a dime.

    • Erica

      I’m not a fan of Gloria – but not every case she attaches to is a joke. Scott Pederson’s murder trial wasn’t a joke, neither is the Cosby rape situation.

      But I am surprised she took on this one…. esp. the side she picked!

      • Matzah60

        Agree about the Scott Peterson trial. Amber Frey sought out Allred in that case, as much as to protect herself from scrutiny and becoming a person of interest in that case, even though she states she was the unknowing mistress. Frey’s testimony clearly resulted in the conviction of Peterson. The Cosby case is a mixed bag and while it is a criminal case, it is also another high profile case which would bring lots of notoriety to Allred. Allred is trying to insert herself into the depositions/trial in Montgomery County. I grew up in that county and lived in Cheltenham Township where Cosby owned a home. Cosby was always a salacious, creepy man and his vile behavior was well known. Allred is out of her jurisdiction by 3,000 miles. All of her cases involve using the media in her litigation.

        Like you, I am surprised that she took this case. Clearly, she picked the wrong side, but her MO is to represent ‘victimized’ women by ridiculing the rich and powerful. I admire Frankel’s tenacity and enormous success, but I don’t find her likable at all.

  16. Dee-AZ @jordan1022

    Ive never heard anything about Allrad either, but my reading capacity only allows my to read here. Great work TT. I love blind items but suck at them….

  17. GirlMe

    This is yet another reason for Bethenny to not trust anyone. Bethenny invited Sonja to her business meetings and Sonja repays her by trying to copy her brand.

    Guess she wont invite others again. Guess she has to treat her business like a big penis having husband. Mmmm the word.

  18. Ooh, good Tea. I hope this makes it onto the show. Production isn’t going to like Sonja fucking with them!

  19. hannahkingrose

    Ok TT is this a game of does anybody pay attention to what you write and retain the info? Does Sonya on Kocktails with the Kardashians ring a bell to anyone but me?

  20. Josie

    Bethenny and Sonya. Loved the clues like “satchels of gold” and plumbing issues!

    Gloria Allred is a high priced famewhore ambulance chasing idiot lawyer. Cant stand her. I have to remind myself to not let it color my perception of her clients and their cases.

  21. GirlFromKY

    What a bunch of fucking litigious leeches!!! That just burns me up!! I’m so sick of people trying to get their hands on other people’s successes without lifting a God damn finger to earn it. Gloria Allred is nothing but a piece of shit disgrace to the legal community! It’s just so disgusting

  22. Good tea! I figured Bethenny from the clues but don’t watch enough RHONY to guess the rest. That was fun :)

  23. AmberKnows

    WOW Gloria Allred the prostitutes prostitute. The worst thing is that I, that is me personally, don’t see the comparison between TipsyGirl/Tipsy Girl and Skinnygirl. Like bitch puh-leeze. A drunk girl can be skinny but i’ve never been a size – 0 and i’ve been 50 sheets to the wind! So no one can ever name a beverage ____ girl… ever? Phuck it Sonja… name it Tipsy Lady. Or just Tipsy!

    • tamaratattles

      SkinnyGirl could likely when a case against fatgirl, drunkgirl, etc in the liquor business. Despite some peoples claims, the products are in pretty much everywhere and sell very well. If they were not such a force in the market it might not be such a copyright issue. And the person (not Sonja) who came up with the name did so because he wanted Sonja to push it on RHONY. He literally could have picked any name. Tipsy for example would be cute. But the name, the labeling and everything else are to similar to Bethenny’s product.

      ANd thank you for acknowledging the tea, which is the Gloria Allred thing. :)

  24. FarFromPerfekt

    I miss the ‘voice of reason’ SonJa from seasons past (Scary Island). She seems harmless and just wants to have fun. Hell, I’d join her on P. Diddy’s yacht anytime! ?

  25. FarFromPerfekt

    I miss the ‘voice of reason’ SonJa from seasons past (Scary Island). She doesn’t seem to have a mean bone in her body and really loves to have fun. Hell, I’d join her on P. Diddy’s yacht anytime! ?

  26. peachteachr

    Of course it’s my fav, Bethenny, who made a fortune beginning with Skinny Girl Cookies and Muffins. She drove a bright yellow VW in the Hamptons with Skinny Girl all over it that 2nd year and Luann mocked her.
    Poor, delusional Sonja. I hope the guy isn’t that Harry Durbin who was married to the psycho, Aviva Drescher, and dated Luann and Sonja. Now, that would be sooo funny.

    • Minky

      I totally thought that he (Durbin) could be Monsieur Dick too. But I’m not too bright, and a lot of things escape my observation, so I’m not so good at these. That guy is so grimy, though. Ew.

  27. Allison

    Foolish foolish to go up against Bethenny-she protects her shit and seems to be a really smart business woman, hopefully this is nothing more than a gnat-like nuisance for her. If I’m reading the blind item correctly, it wont be that Peter guy, he didnt strike me as gay and we havent seen “Dick”. Gloria Allred-good lord.

  28. More Tea Please!

    Too easy – Bethenney, Soja and housewife hanger-onner Peter Guimaraes. Didn’t Peter register the name Tipsy Girl for the bar/restaurant and is now trying to go for a “brand extension” into beverages? Gloria must be taking this trademark infringement case on as a personal favor. Maybe her legal angle is that Sonja is being “abused”? Poor pathetic, delusional Sonja. Almost a year ago to the date she had her big fashion fizzle/launch, and that International Lifestyle Brand is really making waves (not!)

  29. Sunshine

    Seeing Sonja now makes me sad. All those failed business attempts and the chasing of younger men to feel wanted and attractive.

  30. JoJoFLL

    Sonja needs to stop believing her own hype and press. She’s not or ever will be a: designer, restaurateur, jewelry designer, party planner (completely clueless), lounge dancer (whatever), and the other 25,642 things she says she is an expert at.

    I would have bought her toaster oven. There was a need, she could have made a fortune.

    She’s 15 minutes away from broke and destitute.

    • DJFL

      What would make her toaster oven stand out from all of the other toaster ovens that are already on the market? What makes you think that she could/would have made a fortune? The world does not need another toaster oven.

  31. Amy V

    Sonja was on Kocktails with Khole week before last and mentioned that she has a new cocktail brand coming out soon call Tipsy Girl. Khole immediate response was isnt that close to Bethany s brand? And Sonja who live in the land of delusion just swept it under her cluttered rug.

  32. I came back to read this again – because it’s so bloody good

  33. Rach

    Buffy is Bethenney, Muffy is Sonja

  34. Dick is Peter… the one Ramona opened a restaurant with last season. I think she brought him to Dorina’s dinner party too. So I guess Peter’s working his way down the line, trying to get a housewife to make him some fast cash.

  35. Siamukha

    Tamara mentions four people in this blind item, so I’m not sure why people are confusing Dick with Peter, because she specifically wrote, “Muffy’s new friend (not Dick, let’s call him Paul) wanted Muffy to push his new product line.”

    Buffy = Bethenny
    Muffy = Sonja Morgan
    Paul = Peter Guimaraes (aka Tipsy Girl creator)
    Dick = as Tamara writes that we have not seen him on the show yet. I looked on Sonja’s Twitter and her only retweets lately are from a Derek (first letter fits….aka D) and he’s a producer of Kocktails with Khloe, but I’m not sure he fits the description of GBFFN.

    • Peter has a partner (besides Sonja). Another guy whose I don’t know & I don’t know if we’ve ever seen him. Mario? Now that would leave Ramona hyper-hysterical but we can’t tell because she’s always hyper-hysterical.

  36. “Muffy is already practically gone Grey Gardens and based on what we see on TV is unable to afford a plumber.” See, I was doing better with my long-time obsessive fear of turning into Little Edie Beale, and feeling happier about my preoccupation with Sonja, until the first time you cleverly and wickedly connected the two. Now I am either cured altogether, or certifiable. Or perhaps there is some quantum state leaving me emotionally poised between the two – I dub it Schrödinger’s Crap (with apologies to his cat). (And to you.)

  37. Mari Anne

    How remiss was Dick for not patenting the name right away.

  38. kam

    This is some high quality tea. Thank you!

  39. Diane

    Bethenny and Sonya

    Peter of course pushing Sonya …rather using Sonya.

    Thing is Bethenny knows that Sonya isn’t a cutthroat business person. She has tried to help her only to see that Sonya hasn’t a clue about business. She has continually surrounded herself with idiots and scammed who tell her anything to take her money. Sonya is also not a mean girl. She truly doesn’t see how this could upset Bethenny. These ladies have known each other for years and Bethenny knows that Sonya is not savvy. I think Bethenny should be trying to help Sonya get out of this and help her see the sham of it all versus bashing and beating her to pulp. But that is Bethennys MO this season. Not many left for her to toss her wrath to…. she will turn on Carole at some point.

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