On WWHL (was that really just last night?) Andy asked Kristen why she was thrown out of PUMP over the weekend. and then let her wiggle out of the answer because he already knew! I NEEDED TO KNOW, ANDREW! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!
Well now we know. NOW. WE. KNOW. Lisa Vanderpump hates AMERICA ! That is what happened. I am channeling my inner Camille Grammer now, dammit. NOW . WE . SAID. IT! Lisa Vanderpump has defiled America’s Fucking Treasure (SWIDT?), Kristen Doute. Okay, maybe it was the sweaty, twatty-faced pipsqueak busboy defiled her, let’s not dwell on that. Because, AS GOD IS MY WITNESS I shall NOT allow this travesty to stand! Oh NOE. Not TO DAY. No Siree Bob Johnson!
That little (what is the derogatory term for British people?) TWATWAFFLE (that’ll do though it might be more offensive to Belgians. Because, Waffles) has chosen to side with the misogynistic, drunk. little ranting lovesick big girl’s blouse over America’s Treasure, Kristen. Please see below.
Well there you have it. Kristen AND THE LOVE OF HER LIFE, Carter (Is he the one with the beard?) were accosted by that pipsqueak dogsbody (Google it, I did) and that British boiler took the little pipsqueak sniveler’s side and BANISHED KRISTEN FROM PUMP FOREVER!
And, to make matters worse she was meeting the production assistant from WWHL who was there to have a business meeting related to WWHL!
I am so BLOCKING THE BRITISH BOILER! Oh wait, can I do that? She blocked me during her legal problems. Whatever. We will start a change,org or buy our own gay bar and compete with her, or well… we will be doing something. But right now I’m hungry.
I tried to get Kristen’s attention on Twitter and I don’t think she is feeling my love for her these days. Nonetheless I shall defend her honor! I bet that little pipsqueak twathole was the person carted off in the Ambulance Sunday night from PUMP!
Lisa Vanderpump can go eat a bag of dicks.
But while we are all devasted and outraged by this tragedy against AMERICA. Kristen has a date with the man of her dreams and she’s all like…