Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: The Blacker The Berry…

Ben has been recaptured and reattached to his radiator.

Ben has been recaptured and reattached to his radiator.

Ben C.
Contributing Writer

I’M BACK!!! The past week has got me feeling like Teresa Guidice pre-release. No wifi + a broken phone = basically prison. Sans the orange jumpsuit and mugshot on TMZ. BUT STILL, it was rough you guys. Thanks to queen T.T. for understanding and stepping back in. We’re on the second episode of The Real Housewives of Potomac, and we’re back to the classic topic every housewife of every franchise just LOVES to discuss, etiquette!! Etiquette is a really weird word if you stare at it long enough. It’s a similar parallel to RHOP, the longer you watch..the stranger it becomes. By now you’ve probably all seen the episode and suffered along, so let’s get this over with, shall we?

Back at Charrisse’s wannabe fancy crab boil, Karen and Charrisse are still at oods with Gizelle. The best Karen can come up with on the spot is to call out Gizelle’s ‘fake hair’ and completley dismissing her. Upstairs, Charrisse is giving Drunk Aunt the rundown. Charrisse says Gizelle and Kal showed up at her house and went 0 to 100. She says Gizelle brought her ‘sidekick’ upstairs who Charrisse had never met before. Charrisse says Gizelle disrespected her by doing this. Later, Gizelle pulls Charrisse aside to clear the air. Charrisse thinks this is her moment, and really goes for Gizelle. She basically tells Gizelle she was too loud and obnoxious upon arrival, and that she’d never seen her act like that before. Charrisse felt insulted by Kal, as he immediately commented on the state of her hair (which was a mess) and offered to fix it.

Katie and Robyn (and kids) arrive at the party. They both sit outside and eat and stay away from the drama. Katie has the cutest son in the world. Back inside, Gizelle decides to “get her grip” and leave the party. But not before she can call Karen a combination of nicknames like Josephine Baker, Lady Eloise, and Diane Von Furstenberg (the designer of the dress Karen supposedly is wearing..chosen by her “stylist”)

Before Gizelle can make it out, Karen and Charrisse throw a few more jabs in. Karen calls Kal the help (again) and calls for security.

RHOP Charisse forehead

The next day, Katie has a Rabbi over to her house to discuss the Hebrew naming of both her two year old daughters. She’s planning an informal naming ceremony at her house. She opens the door and the Rabbi literally does a double take. Cut to a talking head of Katie – the only other black jews she knows are Sammy Davis Jr & Lenny Kravitz. They have tea on her back porch, which looks over a golf course where many “celebrities” play. By celebrities, she means President Barack Obama, and his VP Joe Biden. Katie really wants to impress the Rabbi. She says she doesn’t want to seem like a “bagel and cream cheese jew.” Bless her heart. At the naming ceremony, Katie invites a group of friends. Gizelle and Robyn are both there. Gizelle arrives late, and says in her talking head she didn’t realize Jewish events actually start on time, and thought they were “like black people and could arrive 45 minutes late.” (her words, don’t shoot the messenger!) Katie’s boyfriend Andrew has a small part in the ceremony as says a blessing. After the naming ceremony, the ladies sit around a table and have a discussion about being african american & biracial. Gizelle and Robyn both comment people confuse them as caucasian women frequently. Katie is proud of being biracial. This seems to be the second favorite topic of conversation, right behind etiquette. It’s absolutely relevant to what’s going on in in the world today, I’m just not sure if these should be the specific ladies leading the conversation.

Over at Karen’s house, her husband’s Aunt Dot is paying a visit. Aunt Dot is supposedly THE etiquette queen. Aunt Dot arrives at the house with a sour expression already on her face. In a standard four-door sedan. The mother of the black Bill Gates rides around in a Nissan?? Aunt Dot don’t play. Aunt Dot’s rule is tea must always be served “piping hot” or it will be sent back. I suppose it’s also proper etiquette to burn the fuck out of your visitors tongues. Karen’s younger daughter is sitting with the family throughout this and seems refreshingly normal and fun. She’s off to college soon and Karen says she wants her to major in something specific so she gets paid well. AKA don’t go to art school.

RHOP Ashley

Next up, we meet the final piece of the RHOP puzzle, AKA the spring chicken in the cougar’s den – Miss Ashley Darby. Ashley is hosting a charity event called “Sip with Socialites” where the bar tab goes to a specific charity. Ugh, any group of women who literally have to print on a banner the fact they are socialites, definitely are not socialites. I’ll try to look past it for now. Ashley is a former Miss District of Columbia and is currently married to a 55 year old. A 55 year old apparently with a very active and large penis. Gizelle calls her a THOT. Such etiquette. It’s a bit much for a woman you just met…but to be fair, the 26 year old spring chicken was spouting off about her husband’s penis size to a group of women she just met. She doesn’t help herself any by dancing/gyrating on Robyn. Robyn tells Ashley to stop humping her, and that she’s been around white people too long. Ashley and her husband are planning on having a baby (okay, girl) and she wants the baby to be either a Gemini or a Libra. Yep, she’s definitely a Bravo housewife. So far Ashley is my favorite. She’s giving me OG Brandi Glanville vibes. A little rough around the edges, full of liquor, and tons of fun.

Finally, Gizelle is planning a lunch to clear the air with Karen and Charrisse. Gizelle recruits the help of her two young daughters to help write letters to the ladies. Gizelle sends a car to pick up the ladies and gives the letters to the driver. Gizelle even brings flowers to the lunch. So much ass kissing going on..all over Karen’s stolen seat, and Charrisse being upset someone offered to fix her hair. They both read the letters in the car and don’t seem impressed. They both make fun of the letters. They arrive both with sour-puss faces on and sit down. Karen and Charrisse really both think they run this show. I wonder if they had to wait until filming was over to find out they were the crazy idiots of the season, or if it’s only being played out to them now. They both sit and bicker over some TRULY ridiculous BS (again, a seat at a dinner table, and the crab boil “drama”) and decide to leave. Charrisse simply can’t waste any more of her precious time. If the rumors are true, she could definitely use the free lunch so I don’t know why she’s going anywhere. Karen lays into Gizelle for a bit, but I can’t stand to stare or listen to Tina Knowles’ evil twin any longer.

Tune in next week for: more etiquette talk, more discussion on race, and hopefully more Ashley & Gizelle! Follow me on twitter for more ridiculousness – @bennayy!!

58 Comments

Filed under Entertainment News, Real Housewives of Potomac, RHOP

58 responses to “Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: The Blacker The Berry…

  1. Margarett

    Welcome back! I had decided to skip this show. Then I read this excellent recap. Somehow you’ve piqued my interest in it. So…. I’m off to catch up on On Demand.

  2. sarcasatire

    Two comments: One, I do agree with Charisse in that no one should ever go upstairs in someone’s home without being expressly invited. I work “in the industry” (and make pretty good money, thanks art school! ?) and I remember shooting a scene at someone’s house and they had trouble finding something to wear. They kept coming to the top of the stairs to ask us our thoughts. I wanted to just go up there and ask her to spread out her options but I did not DARE go upstairs without being invited. It’s rude. Parties (and productions) were on the first floor only. I bet Charisse didn’t expect the cameras to show that part of the house. Oops.

    Oh, my second comment is hidden within the first. ?

    • AmberKnows

      ITUnderstand your views on working rules and also bringing strangers into the living quarters of the hostess. However. when the stranger has spent hours cooking crabs and dip, unsupervised in the kitchen AND he’s a hairdresser who has also kindly offered to fix a nasty weave the rules can be relaxed for a minute. Charisse was very full of herself and even though I agree Gizelle was on HIGH, it didn’t merit the reprimand she was given.

      • I don’t believe for a minute that Gizelle and her friend did any cooking at all, much less for hours. I think the sum total of her “cooking” was lifting the lid off of that pot, strictly for the benefit of the cameras. It seemed like they’d just arrived when they went upstairs to find Charrisse. After all, if they’d been there for a while cooking, they’d have had their utensils out already instead of going on a high-volume hunt through the kitchen drawers looking for them.

        I agree that it’s beyond the pale to go wandering around the “private” areas of someone’s house without being invited to, but I also wouldn’t abandon people down in the kitchen; at least without first making sure they have everything they need, are comfortable, and understand where I’m going and when I’ll be back.

    • DutchTulip

      So “artistic”… your second hidden comment.
      Love it..!

    • DutchTulip

      Welcome back Ben C.

      People who really have Etiquette…. never tell others that they do not have…or adhere to Etiquette.

      Karen had been watching RHOA at length… and decided that when she “would come on TV”… She was going to change “the landscape” … of how people view RHOP.

      However, … SHE is now the laughing stock of ALL..!
      Chuckle…

    • JoJoFLL

      But the cameras were already upstairs with her and the hairdresser? It wasn’t like upstairs was off limits.

    • JoJoFLL

      I also wondered about the dated kitchens especially when your husband is the black Bill Gates.

      Funniest part of the show was Karen trashing the hair dresser while that busted weave was trying to escape her head.

  3. More Tea Please!

    You nailed it Ben! What a nasty, toxic brew of women this is.

  4. Dee

    Welcome back. I love the photo, very funny. Off to read your recap, thank you!!

    • Dee

      Great recap and UGH, these women are full of their own self importance. Where do they get off talking about etiquette or pedigree? I’ve never heard people talk like this. I have family in Potomac, they are kindest giving people. No airs like some of these women. Again Ugh, Giselle comes to cook for Charrise and she is treated like a servant. I’m sure Kal offered to do her hair to pay her back for calling Kal the help

      • AmberKnows

        I’m sure he offered to do her hair as an act of kindness as it probably was an affront to his delicate sensibilities. 😛

      • I wish a professional stylist would drop in to my house and offer to do my hair for me. I would be grateful not peeved! Kal is welcome at my house!

      • Sliceo'pie

        The women who lecture the most about etiquette on this show, are the most lacking.. I grew up in a Waspy Upper Middle Class town and the people with the most money were very low key, carried themselves with confidence (not to be confused with arrogance), didn’t need to put on airs and most definitely did not need to impress other people. They definitely had other issues but honestly I’d take them any day over this lot.

        I loved Karen’s comment (paraphrasing) “if you know anything about etiquette, if you’re 30 minutes late that’s par for the course for etiquette!” WTF?

        I don’t think I can handle another show where the people lack any kind of insight into their behavior-I already have too many queued up on my DVR. I’m looking forward to the next episode of, “Billionaire”. I’d much rather watch that.

  5. Swede

    People who actually have good manners don’t constantly mention etiquette. And believe it or not, there are people who were raised on farms where manners were required. There are rich farmers too, and manners are not exclusive to rich people, or ladies who like to act like they are.

  6. Denine

    I can’t with this show. Won’t watch but I enjoy the recaps!

  7. Dee-AZ @jordan1022

    Welcome back & thanks for recap. I’m trying to hang in there with show. Hard for me to tell after 2 episodes

  8. StubbyG

    This show is awful! I agree with Swede, people with manners and class don’t need to discuss etiquette all the time.

  9. run_dmc

    I’m actually loving this show. It’s so ratchet and the ratchetness went from 0-100 in the first episodes, so I didn’t even have to invest any time before getting into it. These women make the RHODC look like the court of Louis XIV. As Swede said, NOONE who actually understands etiquette (which the rest of the world just calls good manners) would ever tell anyone else how to be mannered, let alone talk about it constantly. If someone is displaying bad manners, you just rise above and decide whether to spend time with them or not going forward. You don’t buy them a cheap frame from CVS with a handmade flyer about the “etiquette” rules all geared towards your own petty hurt feelings that you didn’t sit (after arriving late) at the center of a “banquette” at your birthday party.

    Then, I can’t with Charisse. Steaming crabs is not complicated, but it’s definitely enough work that it’s not something you ask friends to do for you if you can afford the very little $ it would cost to have caterers to do for you. If you DO ask friends, then at least you can help out, for goodness sake. I can understand not wanting people you don’t know just traipsing up into the private part of your house (although she did say at the door that Kal should come up to help with her hair – maybe she was joking). The problem was; however, that she SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN UP THERE TO BEGIN WITH. She had friends downstairs helping her. She should never have just gone up and left her guests, after all, on their own to do her work. Talk about bad manners.

    The rest of them – first, could they be more racist? I can’t see any other shows literally questioning other people’s racial makeup in such an insulting way without being hounded off the air. And, I’m loving Gizelle, but she was the one who asked Ashley all sorts of personal questions about her love life with an older man and then called her a THOT for just answering them honestly.

    But, the biggest LOL moments about this show are their homes. For one thing, I think these ladies live more in the Silver Spring, MD area than Potomac. Karen, for example, who I guess is the black Melinda Gates, lives in a home with a kitchen dated from 1981. Seriously? Potomac, I think not.

    But, I am finding hilarity galore.

    • Dee

      RUN-DMC….love your comments! I’m a little shocked at the way they talk. I wonder if they’ve even been to this Bethesda Country Club. If they have they would have been laughed out of there with all their talk of race, etiquette, the worst was pedigree. It looks to me as if a couple have bleached their skin. If they are the Queen B’s why are they blond?

      • Sunshine

        Dee, there was no skin bleaching involved. Some black folks come in that flavor. Now the hair color is a different story.

    • LAC

      Uhhh, silver spring homes have some nice kitchens, so let’s not go there.

      • run_dmc

        Yes. I know. My mom lives in Silver Spring, so I meant no disrespect and since i haven’t updated my kitchen since the early 90’s (have more important things to spend $ on), I certainly relate. However, I’m not lording over the rest of the black world and likening myself to the wealthiest philanthropist on earth either.

        And, SS is much more mixed economically, so you would easily find more dated homes right alongside high end – people also have different values and don’t always put their $ in their homes. Potomac is very different. I certainly dont live there – never will – but I know the area and people well. And, I still would bet a month’s pay that Karen, at least, and a few of the others don’t actually live in Potomac.

  10. Miguel

    Thanks for the Tina Knowles analogy – I knew she looked familiar & couldn’t put my finger on it!

  11. Valentine

    Oh my… Aunt Dot and her Lipton tea. I was cringing inside as I watched this. I’m trying to imagine LVP reaching for some Lipton for tea time, but you know she’d never sip that shit. I truly believe Karen is this delusional and that this isn’t the result of production. She thinks she is this wonderful, classy woman that everyone should bow down to and she is so wrong.
    She actually looks/acts like an aunt I have! But mine isn’t this messed up.

    I was so disgusted by Charrisse’s attitude. They things she says are just gross and she looked extremely drugged up during that lunch scene at the end. She looked like she had taken a couple of Xanax and was all slouched over in her chair. Just weird.

    Katie needs a brain isn’t limited to only gold digging functions. It’s kind of pathetic.

    • sarcasatire

      Ewww. Who still drinks Lipton? I’m a Tazo or Tea Pigs girl myself. I’m no fancy tea drinker, but I’d never buy Lipton.

      But Aunt Dot is old school. She grew up on that stuff, Lisa didn’t. Doesn’t make Aunt Dot classless, just sticking to her roots in some ways. American baby boomer that she might be.

  12. Rose

    All this discussion about etiquette but these ladies have none and are just as rachet as RHOA. Gizelle ain’t stupid but she sure instigates everything. I think I’ll stick to the recaps from here on out. Welcome back Ben!

  13. Mark

    How do these women not know that it’s bad etiquette to tell someone they have bad etiquette???

    I’m so glad that knowing how to use a soup spoon makes you landed gentry in Potomac. Must visit. 😉

  14. A Little Birdie

    I was so over Charisse and the way she treated Gizelle. She should have taken the apology and moved on considering she helped with the cooking. She should also watch the show again because when Gizelle got there she was participating in what ever she considered bad behavior. I do agree that the guy should have stayed downstairs but if she and G were actual friends, shouldn’t she be able to come to you? And C was the rude one for leaving them anyway.

    Another thing I found most disturbing was that Karen, wife of the Black Bill Gates walked into that restaurant with the most crooked wig I have ever seen. After dissing someone about their hair, she should have been perfect.

    Welcome back Ben C.

  15. hannahkingrose

    Karen and Charisse both remind me of LuAnn from RHONY with all this etiquette stuff, especially Karen. Lu in the first seasons was all about etiquette. Now it’s “Be cool, don’t be like uncool”. It didn’t work out so well for LuAnn. Maybe Karen didn’t get the memo. This edit will end up biting her in her nose so high in the air if it rains she’ll drown behind. If she wants everyone to think she’s perfect, she probably should make all the things about and around her perfect like her clothes, her wigs/weave and an updated kitchen to help convince us all she is perfect. At least attempt to hide your flaws lol.

  16. Gracious

    Are Karen and Charisse for real? Aunt Dot is sippin’ Lipton!! All I keep thinking when I see Karen on my screen is “mole mole mole…” I had no plans of watching these girls but just happened to be sick and caught the first two episodes. I’m not sure I’ll be able to stomach them.

  17. First time commenter here. I’m sorry, did they say a crab BOIL?? I have never heard of that. No self-respecting Marylander would ever boil crabs or even call it a crab boil. You steam Maryland Blue Crabs.

  18. Julie

    Karen’s kitchen is hideous, and “black Bill Gates” likes his wife to page him on a 1990’s no tech phone?! I can’t wait for the reunion already to hear their explanations for their heinous behavior.

    • Tulsateacher

      Julie- Did you notice that after Karen paged her husband on the old school intercom phone he didn’t need the intercom to answer her; he was in the kitchen and just turned his head in her direction to say “okay”. I wonder if Karen is secretly insecure about coming from a family of farmers and feels she has to overcompensate? It really has to chap her ass that Gizelle has a pedigree.

      • Oh Karen is SO insecure about her roots. She thinks someone like Aunt Dot is classy because she points out the flaws of others and complains about things. How would Karen know real etiquette when she saw it? I’m pretty sure the doctor and lawyer were from her husbands family, as well as Aunt Dot. She thinks since she married up she inherited the right to tell others how to behave. Classic insecure status-seeking behaviour.

  19. tamaratattles

    I taped this show to watch later. I was disgusted in the first five minutes I tried to fast forward to a place where they weren’t sitting around trying to decide who is really black but alas that never happened. So I’m out and will just be reading the recaps.

    I picked the title for this post rather ironically. For those who think it refers to a rap song, it doesn’t It refers to a famous book written during the Harlem renaissance about colorism. Something all of these bitches could stand to read. I’m not interested in who is the blackest cast member and who is the most well mannered. I thought perhaps they were going to actually have something going on in their lives. Apparently not.

    • Gracious

      Are people that oblivious to their own disgusting behavior? I’m with you TT sticking to recaps. Don’t often comment but I’m an avid fan of yours and regular reader.

    • Reading Beads

      Love Gizelle’s talking head interviews, the etiquette references demonstrated their poor manners at every turn. Recaps only for me, certainly missing you TT, great job Ben! .

  20. rebecca

    Thank you for providing the recaps so I don’t have to actually watch these odious women. Yikes. They all need a reminder that having to remind people of how much class you have means you probably have none at all.

  21. JennLovesAndy

    So I am watching this today because I wanted to see the behavior and the dated kitchens. It is some pretty funny stuff! I wish I could post the screen shot in one of the episodes I took of the fake, old LV bag a random person is holding standing next to a parking meter with a walking cane hung on meter. Producer shade at is finest!! Anyone else catch that? I was a transitional flash between their fake scenes. Hilarious!!!

  22. cecy

    Good recap, so far it is a disappointment. A couple of them are likeable but mostly they are catty & colonized (wanna be Jew Karen & her sidekick charlatan are the worst). Discussing color & manners is not leading us to any post racial world & insulting gizelle’s kids in the process, that is so déclassé. Can we blame production for any of this hot messiness’? I think the reality part is spot on here. However, #Bravo you really disappoint me if u think this is any step toward breaking down barriers with reality programming. This is a step backwards. It is not progressive to only be light skinned or comfortable. Lame, bravo, lame! Do not renew this franchise & it would be better to cancel it now..Thank you TT for clarifying the real history of the title!

    • Sunshine

      I missed the title and went straight to reading the comments. Read The Blacker The Berry years ago. It’s actually one that I would reread.

  23. Spilledperfume

    Welcome back Ben.

    I haven’t been able to make it through either of the first two shows but I’ll read your recaps.

  24. Belinda

    great recap! What are the rumors about Charisse?!

  25. Cupcake Scholar

    Great recap, Ben. Watched 1st two episodes which were snooze fests. Your recap is so witty and hilarious! Won’t be watching anymore but will definitely be reading the recaps! Thank you!

  26. I wish Giselle was in Atlanta, she’d be time enough for Ne-ne.

  27. jen

    Something about Katie reminds me of Stassi which is awful. I just feel like they are all trying really hard and being fake. I don’t think I am watching anymore. I am a Gizelle fan. She is funny as hell.

  28. jen

    Charisse and Karen are just awful people. Ugly inside and out

  29. iloveearlgrey

    I think this is now my favorite housewives show. So far, Gizelle and Robyn are my favs. I like Ashley as well.

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