We are over halfway through the experiment.
Neil & Sam
Neil and Sam are still living apart which renews my concerns that Sam is just waiting out her six month contract and has checked out. Wait, the house they moved out of was in Sandy Springs? That’s pretty much as conveniently located as you can be unless Sam works south of Atlanta or something. Even if she does, she would be driving against rush hour traffic. Also Neil is back in his apartment? Why don’t they live there?
Sam goes out to lunch with her mother. She calls Neil “passive-aggressive.” No, Sam, he’s just passive. You’re aggressive.
Neil goes to Sam’s to do homework. Why can’t she go to his apartment? They have homework to do. Didn’t they do the look into each other’s eyes thing already? Or was that a preview? I think this is the most recent episode but I have seen Sam make faces and make a mockery of the whole exercise already.
Next they talk with a spiritual advisor. Wait Sam is Jewish? There are exactly 218 Jewish people in metro Atlanta and they find the one single one for Neil? And why are we not discussing Neil’s religion?
Sam and Neil are going to make a Jewish dinner together. Sam tells Neil he is going to be in charge of making latkes and then tells him he is going to need a bowl. She is going to micromanage the shit out of this and then tell him he is not dominant enough. Let’s watch. If she wants him to be the man, she should make the dinner and serve it to him. She doesn’t really get how the gender roles she claims to want works. Sam is talking about how this is part of her Jewish heritage as she makes a “Jewish” meal while reading the directions on the back of a box. This would be like me making cornbread from a box of Jiffy.
Somehow, they have a soul bearing experience over boxed Jewish food. Progress? Is it me or has Neil gotten better looking with every episode?
Vanessa & Tres
These two go to see a dog trainer. I like that Tres is claiming Vanessa’s dog as his dog too. And he brings up having kids and says he thinks she will be a good mother. Have I underestimated him as a player who is just on the show for attention?
Vanessa and Tres do their therapy exercise. Vanessa is hysterical when she tells Tres,”let’s do Oprah hands!” They fly through the activity in record time and kiss at the end.
Tres and Vanessa meet with the spiritual advisor. Tres says he has prayed and asked God to bless their marriage. This all seems a little too perfect for me. I am heavily in the middle of “you can’t believe a thing anybody says” moment though. So maybe it’s just me. The spiritual advisor gives them a wedding album full of photos and tells them to make more memories. Barf.
Go to Sip and Stroke, which is not at all the private sex club I expected based on the name. It’s a place you go to drink while taking an art class. Okay I went to the liquor store because I was on the verge of a meltdown, and then the situation resolved and now I am drinking and I like these people better. Phone call with grandma and he says “my wife is listening on speakerphone” and I was all melty.
Tres cooks for Vanessa. The foundation of the recipe is Doritos. Vanessa is a great sport.
Ashley & David
David still has hurt feelers about Ashley saying she is not attracted to him. He claims his biggest issue was her not telling him herself. I don’t believe that is his real issue.
David and Ashley do the same therapy that Sam and Neil did. Actually they have to say three things they like about each other. David quickly rattles off three nice things. Ashley gets tongue-tied. David is pushing back. But what David needs to do is pack HER bags.
Ashley and David both do a writing assignment and they both seem defeated. They should just let these two quit. David asks her if she is waiting for the clock to wind down. She says, “I fell like I can’t answer that right now, but I feel like we are stuck.” That was a yes, David. That was her saying she is waiting for the clock to wind down. David doesn’t have the sense to quit. He will continue banging his head on the wall for almost three more weeks.
The spiritual advisor arrives. He seems to think they just have to wait on the physical part. Ashley tells the guy that they are moving forward every week. She’s such a liar. David says he wants to be a great husband. The advisor asks how that feels and she says “okay” like a teenaged girl texting on her phone when her mother asks how school was. He gives them the photo album from their wedding. The advisor thinks seeing how cute they are in the photos will fix things. Because, moron.
God I am having house envy over their house. #GhettoAspirations They bond laughing over the awkwardness of some of their wedding photos. Wait, Ashley has a sense of humor?
Ashley and David go to play kickball. Ashley doesn’t emasculate him once. Progress? I know I am buzzed now because I am thinking, “hey, maybe I should get on one of the there kickball teams…”