by Guest Contributor Ben C.
We’re back in the Hamptons, and Kyle is prepping her pop-up shop (shoutout to Alene Too…where you at, girl??) for Bethenny’s book signing. Because it’s Bethenny, we can’t have a scene without a little product placement. Bethenny shows up and lets Kyle know she invited no one. To her own event. She clearly can’t be bothered impressing these Beverly Hills ladies. Kyle informs Bethenny that she’s too famous, so the landlord forced her to limit the party to “VIPs only.” I’m confident I saw a shot of man in flip-flops, so I’m wondering just how VIP she means. The ladies all arrive and the event kicks off. Bethenny pulls Erika aside and apologizes for offending her. She seems genuine enough, but is still confused and has questions about the whole “business side” of Erika-Jayne. Erika rolls her eyes, but handles it well.
Later, the conversation between the ladies shifts to Kim. Lisa Rinna says she feels somewhat responsible for what has happened to Kim. She thinks the extra drama she added last year really helped push Kim over the edge. She calls herself Kim Richards worst nightmare. Don’t flatter yourself, Lisa. Bethenny says Kim went to the ‘bullshit hollywood version’ of rehab, where you don’t really ‘do the work.’ All the ladies (minus Kyle) are gathered in a circle discussing Kyle and Kim. Bethenny is right in the middle of telling the women she feels bad for Kyle. Kyle walks into the circle and busts them all. Bethenny, for once, is caught off guard and stumbles over her words trying to dig herself out. She saves herself by explaining (calling out) Lisa Rinna brought the subject up and she was just adding to the conversation. Kyle gets upset and doesn’t understand why the women are bringing it up at all. She forgets the part where Kim was a former castmate of the show.
After the event, the ladies meet at Kyle’s house for dinner. Giggy is at the table, and needs a chair. Kyle finds an extra chair for Giggy, sans cushion, so Ken gives up his seat so Giggy can rest comfortably. As I type that, I’m really questioning the direction of my life.
Eileen is a few glasses (bottles) of the driest white wine in, and is really going for it at this dinner. She starts off with a totally, actually, really unimportant conversation with Lisa Vanderpump, “clearing the air” for the second time now. Eileen says she cares about her friendship with Lisa V, so she’d rather address it to her face rather than gossip behind her back. Lisa doesn’t go for it. Ken jumps in and mumbles something inaudible, attempting to stick up for Lisa.
The conversation shifts, and Erika asks about Brandi. (Gone, but not forgotten!) She’s picked up the ladies still talk about Brandi…..a lot. Cut to footage from earlier in the day of all the women sitting around bitching about Brandi. Lisa Vanderpump tries to explain (and fails) that Brandi created too many problems because she wanted Lisa all to herself. Kyle brings up the drama with Brandi and Kim, she says Brandi was the catalyst for the end of the sisters relationship. In her talking head, Erika flat out says they are all obviously still obsessed with this woman! Amen! You better preach, girlfriend!! More talk of Kim and Kyle. In a talking head, Lisa Rinna calls Kim & her stealing incident gross. What a support system.
Eileen takes this as her cue to continue on having her moment. She brings up the Amsterdam trip, and Yolanda’s fantastic idea of all going around a table one-by-one and sharing something about themselves the other ladies didn’t know. They didn’t make it all the way around the table because Lisa Rinna smashed a wine glass on a table. I think some other stuff happened, too. For some reason, she wants to go back to that fun game and tell her story. She shares with the women she was once in an extremely physically abusive relationship. She starts to cry telling the story, while the women sit shocked and begin to comfort her. It’s definitely sad, but all a bit random and awkward. Kyle ends the dinner by ranking the Hamptons trip a ‘10’ (but only since no wine glasses were thrown)
The next day, Erika is off to Ohio on her private jet to pick up Yolanda. Yolanda arrives on the runway in another all-white outfit. The flight attendant on the jet is making up a twin size bed on the plane for Yolanda. Straight up. Oh man, what I wouldn’t give to stretch out on a plane like that. Yolanda and Erika discuss the surgery. Yolanda says the doctor told her out of the thousands of cases she’s seen, Yolanda was the worst.
Back in Beverly Hills, the morally corrupt Faye Resnick shows up at Kyle’s house. Kyle is turning her home gym (which looks like it hasn’t been used, like, ever) into a closet. Faye is helping her decorate. They launch right into talking about Kim and it’s taking everything I have to keep my eyes open. They should really cut this poor woman a check for all the talk they are still doing about her. Faye tells Kyle not to shut the door on Kim completely. She reminds her if something bad were to happen, Kyle would feel terrible for not reaching out beforehand.
Next up, Lisa Vanderpump is hosting a lunch event in honor of the “Hero Dog Awards.” I’ve never heard of it – but they must be a big deal, because Lance Bass is on the red carpet. It’s here that we finally (!!!!!!) get to meet our newest housewife, Kathryn Edwards. Lisa Rinna notices Kathryn at the bar, and begins to film the most awkward introduction in Housewives history. They catch up, and it’s obvious the two haven’t seen each other in a long time. Like, 1994 OJ Simpson Trial long time. Which, of course, Rinna has no problem slipping in. The last time they saw each other, Kathryn was married to Marcus Allen, famous for being OJ Simpson’s best friend at the time. Eileen chimes in she once went out with Marcus Allen. Sit down, Eileen. You’ve had too many glasses of dry white wine. Lisa Vanderpump meets Kathryn, and promptly asks who she’s here with. Nobody knows this chick. Did somebody just hand this lady a microphone and say go?
Word gets out to the ladies their newest castmember finally showed up, and boy does it get good. We learn that (supposedly) Marcus Allen (Kathryn’s ex-husband) had an affair with Nicole Brown-Simpson and that’s what set OJ Simpson off. This was all hearsay, perpetuated by none other than Miss Morally Corrupt 1994, Faye Resnick. THIS is exactly the housewives related drama I would kill to see!! No pun intended. Get this lady a contract already! Kyle is curious if Kathryn and Faye know each other, she doesn’t see how they couldn’t. All the ladies gossip about the situation at their various tables.
After the lunch event, all the women (including newcomer Kathryn) go out for drinks. Kyle gets right to what we all want to see, and asks Kathryn if she knows Faye. Kathryn says no. Her face reads otherwise, and her talking head twenty seconds later definitely says otherwise. Kathryn absolutely does not care for Faye. Cut to me screaming. How RHOBH got her groove back.
Kathryn and Faye confront each other at a dinner with all the ladies
some other stuff happens too
Things are FINALLY looking up for RHOBH. #fingerscrossed
Let me know what you guys think of Kathryn. Especially the Kathryn/Faye drama!! Do you think the storyline will stick around? Comment below or find me on twitter, @bennayy!