Dance Moms Recap: I’m Finished…

Minis!!!

Minis!!!

 

OH Joy! Abby Lee gets a new group of young impressionable dancers to screw up! Remember when the ALDC was 6-8 years old?  We see Abby screaming at the little ones not to cry during the auditions and I am excited already. Holly on the other hand is not. If Abby is busy damaging the psyches of first graders, when will she have time to dream up new dances for Nia based solely on black people in the news?  This is really going to cut into the time Abby normally uses to berate the Junior Elite Team and the parents are not happy that they will be getting actual dance teachers who may even been positive in their feedback. It’s Stockhom Syndrome or something.

Abby talks about how much they sucked last week. She says it was because Maddie hears things in the music that these schlubs don’t hear. Is this like being tone deaf? Kendall is on the bottom of the pyramid. Does this mean Nia is not on the pyramid this week at all or something?  And what about Mackenzie who Abby completely terrorized last week? Oh there is Nia. Nia is on the bottom because she was second, you know, the highest solo trophy they had last week. Then is Mckenzie. OOOH Brynn is next. I was not expecting that. I thought she was the newest shiny thing. Jo Jo is second from the top. Why? Something about feeling the spirit of the Wolf. IDGI. And Kalani is at the top because….it appears to be because her mother had a baby. And she is not  Nia.

Kendall and Jo Jo get solos. Jo Jo is not allowed to wear her Bow Bow all week. However will she survive? She has a hip hop solo that is clearly meant to beat Kendall. And she probably will. The group routine is hip hop as well. She has two of her young dancers to choreograph the group dance. Oh, this could win!

Dance Moms Abby shimmy

 

It looks like Abby is still winnowing down the new batch of new girls. They are all kinds of adorable.

I think the group hip hop practice looks great.  McKenzie is especially good in this routine. But Abby is not impressed and brings in three ringers, three male hip hop dancers that she claims take classes at ALDCLA. The girls are actually thrilled with the boys arrival. The moms not so much.

During solo rehearsal’s Abby has Nia understudy for Jo Jo and Brynn understudy for Kendall. Abby stirs the pot saying that whoever does the dance the best gets the solo. Jill is losing her mind over this. Everyone is afraid of Brynn and so they attack her mother. #Klassy  Once again embarrasses Kendall by causing a huge scene with Abby essentially telling her to get Brynn out of Kendall’s way. Jill screams at Brynn and makes her cry. Sigh.

The mini team is going to travel with the juniors to competition to observe. Meanwhile, one of the minis is trying to quit. Her mom is fine with it. But Abby goes to the parking lot to bring Payton back in. Abby is NICE to the kid. She is adorable. Abby has Payton sit next to her and continues to butter her up. This kid must be REALLY good.

The Competition

The moms are mean to Ashley. Ashley does manage to get an apology from Jill after offering one of her own. Jo Jo has lots of crazy makeup to throw it in Kendall’s face after she cried about her latex mask last week. Kendall has a “sassy jazz dance.” Shocker. Abby knows Kendall can’t beat a lyrical solo with this. There is no one at this competition. Just before the competition starts Abby gets a call from her lawyer.  I just noticed Melissa’s face. Did she buy a new one? It’s nice. Abby is talking to someone saying that the judge and I assume the Feds think she hid her name from the assets. She says that is a lie. However, when you file bankruptcy, you have to list all of your assets (and debts) on a sheet of paper and sign saying that is all of the assets. She did not include all of her income and if I recall correctly, she is accused of hiding assets in her mother’s name.

Dance Moms Abby Meltdown

Solos

As Kendall prepares to do her solo, Abby is still unloading on the phone to someone about her legal mess. Abby is seen muttering in the parking lot saying, “I’m finished” while looking for her car. Meanwhile, Kendall’s outfit is stretchy black shorts and I white button up shirt tied at the waist. Why? Perhaps because this doesn’t feel like a real competition? Flash back to Abby having another breakdown in her car before driving off and blowing a kiss to the camera. I sort of get it. She basically found out she is facing jail time. I might freak out and head to In and Out Burger myself.

Kendall’s solo was not age appropriate and overly sexual, the choreography was awful, I can’t imagine Brynn ever doing that routine and I hated it. I think it is one of the worst solos I’ve ever seen on the show. If there are more than three solos in her category (which doesn’t seem likely) she will not place.

Jo Jo’s sole takes first place or there is no God of Dance. I loved it. She was perfect. I want to watch it again.

At intermission the Moms decide they just have to get used to Abby being MIA. No one really seems to care that much. The two young dance teachers are super positive. Kendall gives the pep talk that Maddie usually gives. Way to step it up, Kendall.

Group Dance

I loved it. I hope they get first. It’s hard to know when we don’t have a rival routine to see.

There is no God. Jo Jo got second. THERE WERE ONLY TWO PLACES IN TEEN SOLO. I knew this place was empty. So the other kid must have really sucked because Kendall won first.

It looks like there were only two teen group dances as well. So ALDC got first. Out of two. Later, Melissa talks to Maddie and tells her that their group won the hip hop dance against a group of two real hip hoppers. If not for Abby’s meltdown, this show would have been pointless and ridiculous.

17 Comments

Filed under Abby Lee Miller, Dance Moms, Entertainment News

17 responses to “Dance Moms Recap: I’m Finished…

  1. Amy

    These mothers are the worst people on tv. The yelling at Brynn and the complete self absorption is too much.

  2. @immelza

    Why do these people on TV feel the need to screw with bankruptcy stuff? Is this a major symptom of famewhoreitis? Lol

    • Suzanne D

      In addition to hiding assets, the Feds are claiming that Abby failed to disclose future earnings. She filed bankruptcy before she got involved in a reality TV show about dancers. Supposedly. I had heard that her studio was in financial trouble, and it was the show that saved her ass. Her mom was the owner, and I don’t know if they co-owned at any point or she turned it over in full to Abby. It’s going to be interesting.

  3. swizzle

    Thank you so much for that GIF of Abby “dancing.” Could watch that 24/7. Hope her cell mates like it.

  4. Xanadude

    How soon before Abby slaps yellow body paint and overalls on the Minis to turn them into Minions, dancing to off brand “Happy” by an off brand Pharell?

  5. Yeah, the competition did not even try to look real. They showed no judges that I recall. No one on the audience. No scenes of crowds when they show up

    I’m curious though. Do you think Abby does ANYTHING RIGHT? When she does something nice, you accuse her of ulterior motives. I don’t care either way. Just as I don’t think nia is remotely talented in the level of the other girls, you think Abby is satan. I just wonder if you are all in or if you see anything redeeming.

    • swizzle

      You’re not asking me, but I’ll answer. I agree that Nia’s talent level is way below the other girls. But I do see improvement this year over last. Plus, she has a great spirit and attitude. Doesn’t make her a great dancer, but she seems like a good person.

      I really can’t think of anything Abby does right. She’s mean and nasty. She yells at the girls to be better but doesn’t seem to teach them anything. Last year she said they had no time for class and they should do that on their own. That’s ridiculous. Those girls should be spending hours in class, not hours on choreography. And, clearly she’s screwed up her finances. She was bankrupt before the show started, now she’s in trouble for tax fraud…she’s in trouble.

      And I really want to read the transcripts of Melissa’s deposition when that happens. She claimed to know a lot of shit about Abby, and I’m sure she does. Now that she’s blabbed that on TV, she can’t pretend she didn’t say it and she can’t lie to investigators unless she wants to share a jail cell with Abby.

    • tamaratattles

      Are you talking to me ? I never have had the problem with Abby that so many others do. She has done well getting national publicity for herself and the girls for years. The mothers all bitch about how tough she is, yet they still bring their daughters and are furious when new kids so up So this recap, I tried to point out their hypocrisy. No one is sentenced to dancing for Abby, they fight for the opportunity,

      That said, the past couple of seasons, perhaps since her mother died, Abby has caught the crazy. She is not well and she has been unable to properly do her job. She needs some help. And right now I don’t see much of anything she is doing right. She was great in how she saved her new mini who apparently has a lot of potential. It as interesting how she was able to be kind in that scene.

      I think her mother’s passing and now the FEDS coming for her, has made her unable to do much of anything right temporarily. The ALDCLA studio looks great though. She did a good job there.

  6. Cat

    Sounds like this show is on it’s way out. I suppose they could continue without Abby. It is, after all, Dance MOMS, not The Abby Show. But it wouldn’t be the same.

  7. What stood out the most about this show is how much the mothers whine about everything Abby do. They are not happy with anything. I am tired of watching them whine every other breath. And I can promise you Jill would not have gotten away with mistreating my child because she was standing in front of Kendall. Jill would still be looking for her teeth! There was no reason to yell at Brynn, she didn’t do anything wrong. If Abby or the other instructors wanted her to move, they should have done it.

    • Miguel

      I agree power thoughts – did anyone notice Kendall’s passive-aggressive question about “hopefully these little nuggets could do a group like that next week?” She’s clearly as easily threatened by new talent as Jill. Dammit, I could do with an ego boost – I’m off to challenge my 6-yr old niece to a bike ride next week.

  8. Espi

    One thing that has always annoyed me that Jill did again this episode is where she wines that Kendall was an original ALCD member and helped make Abby’s brand. I still remember where she auditioned after the show began and then left to Candy Apples then came crawling back. Kendal was an audition add on like all the girls Jill complains about.

    On another note, Abby has been known for being sweet to the girls off cameras. this manufactured reality show however shows Abby at her worst. So sad.

  9. Miguel

    Just got through this episode & agree with everything, TT – especially enjoyed your analysis of Kilani @ top of pyramid & Melissa’s new face comment (LMAO, extra hard). These made this episode so worthwhile!

  10. fivecatsownme

    Jill is channeling her inner Cathy. Jill, it will never be Kendall’s year to shine because she is nothing but a pretty face. She has no stage presence and has okay technique.

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