Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: Like Crabs in A Bucket

 

 

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF POTOMAC -- Season:1 -- Pictured: (l-r) Charrisse Jackson Jordan, Robyn Dixon, Karen Huger, Gizelle Bryant, Katie Rost, Ashley Boalch Darby -- (Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF POTOMAC — Season:1 — Pictured: (l-r) Charrisse Jackson Jordan, Robyn Dixon, Karen Huger, Gizelle Bryant, Katie Rost, Ashley Boalch Darby — (Photo by: Tommy Garcia/Bravo)

by Guest Contributor Ben C.

It’s here! The first ladies of Potomac have descended upon us. I am totally buying into the hype. Am I alone in this? My body is ready. Three bottles of Andre champagne, one plastic champagne flute, and a pink bedsheet pinned into a dress. I can be a real housewife too, bitches!!

The show opens with a montage of typical rich, suburban, weekend activities. Golf with the husbands, tennis lessons with an instructor, and Charrisse letting her tiny dog outside to pee (Housewives, they’re just like us!) Cut to Gizelle in the kitchen, cooking with her three daughters. Gizelle lets us know right from the start, a person doesn’t just jump up one day and move to Potomac. It takes legacy, or large cashflow, to get in. Gizelle’s father (and legacy) was one of the first African American men to be in the Texas House of Legislature in the 1960s. Originally from Potomac, she was married at one point to well-known pastor Jamal Bryant and moved to Baltimore. They divorced and Gizelle moved back to Potomac. She calls him a ‘cheater, cheater pumpkin eater’ and says he ‘loved to hide the salami’ A LOT of shady business is currently being reported about this man, stay tuned.

We meet Katie, having lunch with her boyfriend. Katie says she loves the white boys. And the jewish boys. I feel you, Katie. AND he gets his eyebrows done?! Amen, and hallelujah! Sign me up. Katie has 3 kids, all under the age of 3. She was 4 months pregnant when she left her first husband. Equates ‘ball and gala season’ to prom, on crack. Katie grew up in Potomac, and claims while growing up she went to an event every single night. In a talking head, Katie says “being a socialite is a full-time job. Being a philanthropist is a full-time job.” Does anyone know where can I apply? She brings up the topic of marriage to her boyfriend and makes it clear she wants to get married again. He looks like a scared little boy and tells her slow and steady always wins the race. Did I mention he gets his brows done?

RHOP Wedding Dress

 

Next up, we meet Robyn, who is working from her home office. Robyn works in PR. She says she would rather have fun at her job than walk around like a ‘stuffy penguin in a law office.’ Gizelle stops by Robyn’s house to visit. Gizelle comments that people frequently think the pair are sisters. Conveniently, Robyn has her wedding dress out. She says she’s getting ready to sell it. Robyn is divorced from NBA player, Juan Dixon. He was her high school sweetheart, but cheated on her, so they divorced. Robyn says that’s what happens when you marry someone in the NBA instead of without a MBA. They still live together, raise the kids together, and sleep in the same bed together. It’s “for the kids.” Naturally, Robyn puts on the wedding dress. Her ex-husband walks in and sees her, can’t help but laugh at the crazy, and quickly exits. Oh, and tells her to get rid of the dress.

It’s time to officially meet Karen (the new Lea Black) and her husband, who she calls the black Bill Gates. Karen says it’s just as easy to marry a rich man as it is to marry a poor man – it’s a choice. OK then, where’s mine at?!! Karen is the daughter of a farmer. She says she knows and appreciates where she came from, but has “moved forward.” She’s on her way to Gizelle’s house for tea. Karen asks her husband to go pick out a bottle of wine from the wine cellar (basement??) because if she moves to get it herself, she will sweat. Yes, you read that correctly. #lifegoals

At Gizelle’s house, the two women have tea. Karen tells us in a talking head, as one of the few African American women in Potomac, she was happy to welcome Gizelle back after her divorce. They’ve been friends ever since. Karen says she was happy to introduce Gizelle to the ‘Potomac lifestyle’ (even though Gizelle was born and raised there…) Karen is grooming Gizelle to potentially “take the reins” of the high-society African American community in Potomac. Karen says Gizelle might one day, but by then she will already be dead. Finally, one of these women acknowledges her true age! The ladies bring up Gizelle’s ex-husband, Jamal Bryant. Karen asks how he feels about Gizelle dating other men, and them being around his children. Gizelle says Jamal knows she is responsible and trusts her. She says Jamal would probably like her to still be his poundcake. Love you for that, Gizelle. Karen looks alarmed. She attempts to shade Gizelle, and asks her if she’s proud of that label. Karen tells her “that doesn’t fly in Potomac.” If it’s good enough for Beyonce, it’s good enough for Potomac.

 

RHOP Middle seat drama

Next up, all the ladies (minus Ashley – we haven’t been introduced to her yet) are gathering at a restaurant to celebrate Karen’s birthday. The dinner is hosted by Charrisse. The place they’re eating has burlesque dancers that perform onstage every 20 minutes. Gizelle is first to arrive, followed by Katie. We get a quick shot of Katie treating the sidewalk as her own personal runway, and my love for her is strong. In a talking head, Gizelle explains more about Katie’s background. Her mother does philanthropic work nationally, and gives out millions of dollars all over the place. Gizelle says for a while Katie went off and wanted to become a mini Cindy Crawford or Iman. Gizelle adds Katie only likes white boys, unless your name is Russell Simmons (cut to a photo of Katie and Russell Simmons while they were together.)

Charrisse (the hostess) and Robyn are next to arrive. We find out Robyn and Charrisse met thirteen years ago. All the ladies order drinks and, with the exception of Charrisse, want to start ordering food – without the birthday girl. According to Charrisse, “you don’t order before the guest of honor arrives. That’s just stupid.” She’s right, but being the last to arrive to your own birthday dinner is also pretty stupid. On that note, Karen arrives. She’s upset Gizelle is sitting in the middle of the table, and that she didn’t volunteer the seat up when she arrived. Charrisse tells us in her talking head that when she first met Karen, she introduced herself as ‘the wife of the black Bill Gates.’ I really plan on trying out this line the next time I meet someone. Charrisse’s husband is a basketball coach for Rutgers, so he spends most of his time living and working in New Jersey. She says she’s fine with things the way they are, it’s everyone else who seems to have a problem with it. A few of the ladies think Charrisse is putting up a facade. They each go around one by one and toast to Karen, the birthday girl. Gizelle sips before the toast is over and more comments are made about the all-time universal favorite housewife topic, etiquette.

We’re off to Charrisse’s house as she preps for a crab boil party. She attempts to speak to her housekeeper in Spanish, and fails miserably. Charrisse says at first she wasn’t welcomed to Potomac because people thought she was section 8. She then cracks up laughing. Gizelle arrives to Charrisse’s house early to help her cook. She brings her hairdresser/friend Kal with her. Charrisse was unaware Gizelle was bringing someone and is uncomfortable, but tells him he can do her hair anyway. Sweet lady.

RHOP Charisse forehead

Gizelle and Kal start to prep the crabs, while Charrisse sips champagne. Gizelle comments Charrisse has a valet at the end of her driveway. So necessary these days. Charrisse heads upstairs to get her hair and nails done, while her friends stay downstairs to make the food for her party. She immediately starts complaining about Gizelle bringing someone unannounced and making too much noise in her house. Gizelle is going through the kitchen cabinets and drawers trying to find what she needs to cook with. “People don’t act like this in Potomac. Maybe in the ghetto, but not Potomac.” Charrisse says in the 10 years she’s lived in that house, no one has ever come over and acted like this. OK GURL. I knew she’d be one of the more delusional ones. Gizelle and Kal come upstairs and Charrisse won’t let them in her room. She calls Kal a sous- chef and asks the pair to wait downstairs with the other guests. As they leave, Charrisse says this is the reason she doesn’t go to the ghetto.

RHOP Gizelle still

The guests start to arrive at the house. Somebody’s drunk aunt lets herself in, and walks around calling (screaming) for Charrisse. No comment on this behavior from the Etiquette Queen. Karen arrives and finds out she has to walk up the driveway from the valet. She lets the valet know she plans on talking to Charrisse about this, it’s unacceptable. Lady, having a valet at your house in general is unacceptable. I’m sure the valet wants to punch this woman. Gizelle immediately sits with Drunk Aunt and Karen, and fills them in on the situation that just went down. Karen sides with Charrisse. In her talking head, Karen asks who walks around with the help at a private event. I had to rewind twice to actually make sure she just said that. Now it’s Karen’s turn. She’s getting onto Gizelle for taking the center seat at the table at her birthday dinner. And also for stealing her pencil and cutting in line for the water fountain. Karen brings Gizelle a gift. It’s a framed, printed list of the ‘Five Rules of Etiquette When Attending a Birthday Party.’ Oh, Karen. Didn’t you know we’ve already seen this?? Circa season one of RHOBH. Camille & Kyle. How to Behave. Do your homework, girl!! It’s in a mirrored frame, so Karen says Gizelle can look at herself while she reads the rules. Ladies, here is an example of an appropriate time to throw a glass or wine and/or wig snatch. Gizelle stands up for herself by calling Karen out for being late. Karen tells her (brace yourselves, this is painful) that being 30 minutes late is “par for the course, if you know anything about etiquette.” I’ll explain this reasoning next time I’m late for work, and let y’all know what my boss says.

The Drunk Aunt runs upstairs to fill Charrisse in on the conversation happening in the backyard. Charrisse is acting as if Gizelle brought a random homeless man to the party. Drunk Aunt says if Gizelle upsets Charrisse tonight they will all “read her quickly.” Charrisse comments that Gizelle should go back to Baltimore. Back outside, Karen and Gizelle are still going at it about literally nothing. Gizelle drops the mic in an epic talking head about Karen, “I have a legacy and a pedigree. You grew up on a farm.” The fight continues, and the screen flashes To Be Continued….but I think we’d all it rather not.

THIS SEASON:

Foolishness. Lots of foolishness.

One of the ladies may only have 25 dollars in the bank.

Ashley’s husband gets caught at a gay bar?!!

More foolishness.

109 Comments

Filed under Entertainment News, Real Housewives of Potomac, RHOP

109 responses to “Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: Like Crabs in A Bucket

  1. But for being Potomac Housewives, all their kitchens are waaaaaay outdated.Countertops looked like apartment formica

    • therealdeb

      I totally thought he same thing, hell i live in a lower middle class area nd my kitchen is far grander than that!

    • a

      My thought exactly.

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      Also Katie’s boyfriend drives an Infiniti.

    • MzKRB

      I said the same thing.. All that talk about money and prestige quickly evaporated when I saw outdated appliances and formica countertops. Judgmental I know… But on a side note, I’ve been to parties at people’s homes with valet. They can be pretty dang convenient and better for the neighborhood with organized parking. Does that mean I have prestige by proxy? lol

      • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

        I don’t think it’s judgmental, I don’t care what someone’s kitchen looks like or what kind of car they drive. Unless they are trying to tell me they’re filthy rich every 5 minutes and I’m presented with glaring evidence to the contrary.

    • sarcasatire

      Karen is either related to Tina Knowles, or they have the same surgeon.

    • I thought it was odd to see Giselles stovetop look like that. It reminded me of the early 90s when my parents bought their first home:
      I thought everyone has the flat electric stovetop by now

    • LAC

      Thank you! Exactly what I thought.

    • WonkyTonk

      I agree most of the houses in general were underwhelming. I kept thinking you know for the lady married to the Bill Gates of the Potomac why are you living in an upper middle income sized house and not a mansion.

      Hell one of the houses had a real estate combination lock key holder on the front doorknob, moving somewhere much?

    • WonkyTonk

      First Episode, and Charrisse and Karen are already on my got danged last nerve with their pretentious shit.

      Were I Gizelle I would have had an extremely hard time not shoving that frame and its contents two feet up Karen’s ass. Miss my husband is the Bill Gates of the Potomac, I should have had the middle seat, don’t order till I get there even if I’m hours late.

      And Charrisse conveniently omitting that Gizelle was with the hair dude trying to create the impression some strange man was stalking the vast halls of her stately mansion unescorted causing her to be in fear for her pretentious newly acquired etiquette knowledge loving life. You almost get the mental image of a tiny demure woman cowering in fear in the secret chamber accessed by pulling one of the gargoyles on the mantle of her her huge fireplace. Please woman accept some responsibility for you douche behavior towards Gizelle.

      I declare Karen and Charrisse now and forever the enemies of my calm while watching this show, ’cause they’re gonna be I can tell already.

    • Tina

      I was thinking the same thing

    • Satchel Breed

      I thought the end tables in Karen house looks like they could be from Traget

    • Sue

      Those are old homes probably built in the 80’s. Granite and Quartz wasn’t popular then. Everybody is having upgrades these days. Those are big houses. I think Karen could get a new kitchen if she wanted one. What she needs is a personality upgrade.

  2. O.O

    I’ll be present for all the foolishness .
    Gizelleis my favorite she’s moved on from that wolf she was married to.
    I’ll probably receive backlash for this but here goes .
    Charisse is your typical ugly girl who’s always been jealous of the pretty girls, she also comes from nothing ,what my people call “hurry come up” which is why her behavior is so extra and disgusting .
    If I were her and had as much money as she’s pretending to have , I would go to the plastic Surgeon to make me pretty and I’d make sure all my friends were ugly .
    “Drunk Aunt “is a former hot lady who can’t deal with aging gracefully, hence her behavior and ridiculous attire . She also appears to have had botched plastic surgery.( I looked at old pictures of her)
    The one with the three children and the boyfriend – delusional.
    Robyn – dumb and will waste all her pretty and youth on her ex husband

    • mizjanfen

      O.O are u jamaican? Hey girl

    • jennimer

      Sounds like Drunk Aunt suffers from FBS (Faded Beauty Syndrome), symptoms of which are primarily attidudunal. This is rampant among all Housewives franchises; sadly, the only known cure is the inevitable, which sufferers are desperately trying to stave off. It’s kind of a catch-22.

      Great recap! Another RH show I can skip because the recaps are so enjoyable! Thanks for posting.

    • Tp

      Agree 100%. These women repulsed me with the exception of Gizelle. Especially the comment about “the help” and “the ghetto.” What a joke! There’s no way I could stomach another episode.

      • Thank you all for these comments, I totally agree. Drunk Aunt is the one who so wanted to be holding a champagne glass but didn’t make the cut, so is now a Friend of Housewives. I too really like Gizelle but I see her being the one with the “evil” edit.

        Etiquette? More like weapon!

    • LAC

      Girl, I am standing up and applauding you. You hit it on the nail. And Tamara, so true about Drunk Aunt! And can I clear something up about Potomac? If you got the money, you can move there. There is no Co-op board shit to stop that. If you like country club snottiness, horses, and eating dinner at 5:00 (olde timely demographic)… Welcome!

  3. Zazu

    Tried to watch but am over it. It’s too much self-absorption for me.

  4. gluedtothepc

    Omg, my only comment is that I was so very distracted by the odd and misshapen chest of matriarch Karen in her talking head (the one in the first blue outfit). So lumpy, long, and pointed…needless to say, not a good look for an otherwise attractive woman.

  5. JustJenn

    Karen is such a bitch, I kind of love it. And the way Gizelle used the Five Commandments mirror to fix her hair was pretty fabulous. Looks like I’ll be tuning in next week!

  6. Naike

    Enjoyed the recap. Thank you!

  7. Ohmigosh, what pretension! What utter phonies! Not impressed in the least with pretentious Karen and Charrisse. Such airs! Oh yuck! Since when is it “etiquette” to look down on your guests and treat them like field hands when they are helping you out with the cooking?! Since when is it “etiquette” to be arrogant and ungracious to your guests? Sorry, but these cows know nothing about grace and culture.

    And now to be a little catty. Ladies, can’t you update your kitchens? Meow!

  8. You forgot the best one liner: People come for me all the time, they just never find me.

    that’s the drop the mic moment.
    Robin seems the most likable.
    Gizelle will be the most liked as she brings drama and seems cool.

    Charisse is trying so hard to be classy.

    Karen has her nose up in the air but she serves those one liners.
    I’m forgetting a couple but then again they are forgettable

  9. Lisaj

    NO NEW PEOPLE ANDREW!!! I’ve got to rewatch because I can’t remember faces and names because #LYMES. Great recap, not sure what show I watched last night because your recap was much better than the crap show that came on after RHOA.

  10. Valentine

    I’m kind of shocked at how bad the hair was on some of these ladies. They have got to be aware it isn’t really a good look. I mean this Karen lady is showing about eight inches of forehead. Did she ever think twice before appearing on national television? That bright blue dress and water bottle with a straw 😀 I get it’s Bravo, but still. I have to think that if I was ever on TV, I would do my best not to look like a mess. Just a little shocked that someone would so much ‘money’ could have such bad hair.

    And the accessories! OMG they didn’t even have nice handbags. I watch these shows for all the glamour they claim to portray, but after this episode I kind of felt cheap for spending almost an hour watching these ladies flaunt their tacky hair, outfits, and homes. Those kitchens were the worst.

    I like Gizelle the most so far, but I have an issue with that z for some reason. As for Robyn, I can’t get past that accent. She seems nice and fun though, but clearly isn’t too bright. Katie reminds me of that boring girl that used to be on Blood, Sweat, and Heels…
    Charrisse is just plain awful and in the running for worst weave. Karen is her competition.

    That said, I will likely watch some more of this show for the same reason I watch most of the others. And I still don’t completely know why that is. :)

    • Yeah, I noticed Karen’s hairline was, like, back over her ears. I thought that looked…unusual…

    • Gabriella

      @Valentine: absolutely agree with your comments about the wigs – they were awful, like something you’d get off the shelf in a dollar shop! I thought at the time they should get some advise from the RH of Atlanta who rock some great wigs. Annoyed that I have deleted the episode now as I was so busy looking at the awful wigs that I didn’t notice the awful kitchens. Will stick with it though to see how it goes. It’s always dull until you get to know the participants.

  11. Oh dear this is on my DVR to watch but these people sound pretentious, downright horrible and drip of self hate! Ugh!

  12. Please don’t play the drinking game and use etiquette as the buzz word, I was hammered after the first 5 minutes.

  13. barbinga

    I’m unsure if it was the voices, the ridiculous argument or the diction, but my ears were bleeding.

  14. anita bradshaw

    A life in Potomac seems more like a rescue from the Potomac River! I’ve never seen such a washed up group of women well on second thought … RHOBH, NY & OC, however gotta give BH credit for flawless fashions & lifestyle!

    Karen’s husband unfortunately defines her but I love the quick wit one liners. The long thick straw like black-blonde hair & thigh high dress in 5 inch heels is both funny & sad; her face 60ish trying to look 21 is just not working, for God sake let it go!

    Charisse’s long thick straw like red-black side parted hair weave is pitiful; please invest in a professional weave. The secret pain of a bad marriage is obvious; this woman is not even remotely happy.

    I like Gizelle & Robyn they’re both fun & playful but Robyn like Charisse has allowed her failed marriage wear her down; who’s left?

  15. ShyGuy

    I’m only here for Gizelle and Robyn, I like this franchise better.

  16. jen

    Laughed and laughed at this recap. I love Gizelle. Charisse is a nasty bitch..

  17. Potomac comes off as the brain trust conceived by putting Andy Cohen in a room with the writers of Mob Wives, Todd Tucker, Countess LuAnne (and her ghostwriter) and that abused Executive Producer from Teen Mom OG, (the one who isn’t allowed to wear shoes in Farrah’s house and deserves hazard pay) then asking them all to pitch their favorite scripts.
    The good news is I kinda liked Giselle…Bad news, I didn’t really hate anyone else. For me, not hating anybody Andy brings into my living room after 60 whole minutes is never a real good sign. It’s still early though, after next week I will decide if Potomac is enough of a train wreck to be DVR worthy.

  18. Psylocke

    Ooo I can’t wait for the tea on the pastor husband. Nothing joy-rages me like religious hypocrisy.

    I can’t think of a single reason any decent person would be involved in a mega-church.

  19. therealdeb

    I like this, I wasn’t totally turned off by the women but I don’t care for Karen and Charisse. Those 2 are something else… and by something else I mean that they need to try and pretentd to be something a little less high and mighty. Charisse probably grated on my nerves the most, who treats someone who you have asked a favor of like that? Yes I realize she brought her friend with her but Charisse acted like the queen of the fucking east coast… I wouldn’t help a cunt like that

  20. Ok just watched and ummm Katie’s boyfriend is gay he slipped up with his first statement but then hid it well after! What moon is she living on? I guess that what you get loving a Jew boy whatever the hell that means! Self hate! Oh my gosh Karen and Charisse are ugly inside and out! Again self hate! I mean what horse did they kill… Any way seems they made up their own etiquette rules! I didn’t know it’s ok to be late especially when you are being honored! The hostess was also late? Charisse is only upset about that guy in her house because clearly she has so much to hide! Beyoncé’s mom too…talking about she wants to date her husband! I can’t decide if he is Greg 2.0 or if he just don’t care for her! But I’ll watch ? just to see Giselle put these women in their places!

  21. okay28

    Katie’s boyfriend is hideous. She’s gorgeous, but decides to date that big nose ugly man? I guess that’s the power of money.

  22. Twilly

    Sounds like the rest of them. I’ll pass. Thanks for the recap TT!

  23. More Tea Please!

    I this this must be THE most pretentious group of housewives yet coming out of the starting gate…not sure I t bodes well as they are going to have to ratchet the nonsense up from here.

  24. GirlMe

    It would make sense for Giselle to bring her stylist if she had to be there several hours early and cook.

    I hate the word etiquette now. Such a waste of topic. Gonna b a boring show if they lead with tgat every week.

    Charisse whole worth is tied to her husband’s success. She’s gonna hang on to that title.

    I’m most confused by good catch Katie. She was married in Jan 2012 and divorced by 2014. Her oldest is 3yrs and she left hubby 4mths pregnant. Like what did he do! Love her teeth

    Karen has gr8 1 liners. You are finished you just dont know it yet.

    Gonna try week 2! Good job Ben. Gr8 observations.

    • Gabriella

      Yes I was a bit confused by that. So all 3 of those kids are from her previous marriage? No wonder her boyfriend doesn’t want to get married.

  25. Micheal

    Ok so my thoughts:

    Karen is 100% the Potomac version of Leah Black (I agree with Ben here).

    Robyn is the reasonable one (easily confused as the ‘boring one’). At least for now. The previews show that when biracial becomes a topic of conversation she may get involved a bit more. Robyn reminds me of Lydia and all the other reasonable HWs who are cut after a single season.

    Charrisse is the Jacqueline of the group. Delusional, mouthy, drunk.

    Gizelle is the entertaining one; the shit stirrer, self-absorbed HWs. So the Kyle Richards of Potomac.

    Katie is amazing. Her jewish bf is hot and her kids are cute.

    I am invested. Sadly I doubt this show will rate better than Atlanta, because ratchet black women fighting (sometimes phsyically) over ‘shade’, slut shamming and slurs makes for better television than fights over etiquette, valets and seating arrangements for the average Bravo viewer.

    • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

      Katie’s boyfriend kind of reminds me of Amanda’s boyfriend from Princesses: Long Island

      • blaine

        Just to be clear, do we think Katie’s boyfriend is straight?

      • tamaratattles

        I didn’t really pay much attention to him. To be honest, since I wasn’t recapping, I kept getting distracted with other things and didn’t really get that into the episode. I shall hold on to my vote until I notice him. What do you think, Blaine?

      • blaine

        I’m only halfway through the episode. He was really proud of his eyebrow grooming and new haircut so… I don’t know?

    • Xanadude

      Karen is the new Lea Black in the worst possible way. I dislike Lea. After one episode I am comfortable to say I loathe Karen. and not in an Erasure “Love to Hate You” kind of way, in a Farrah Abraham I hate the mere existance of this person kind of way

      • Micheal

        you must derive some enjoyment from her AWFUL hairline (eight-head) and horrible choice in outfits and makeup.

        To be honest, they all seem to suffer from ‘first season faux pas’. I’m sure their makeup is great in person, but surely someone can inform them that you need to use different techniques for stage/screen makeup.

  26. Dawn

    The women with poor etiquette, Karen and Charrisse , were the ones claiming to be experts. So much talk about legacy and Potomac, makes me suspicious the ink isn’t even dry on those stacks of cash and the new address labels are still in the mail. If you gotta claim it that loudly, I doubt you’ve got it, or there are some embarrassed parents watching. I think a few of them let the bleach get to their brains.

    Katie and her boyfriend looked to have zero chemistry to me.

    Robyn and Gizelle seem most tolerable, while lacking good judgement. I predict another bunch of train wrecks with better diction.

  27. Swede

    For all this talk about etiquette, I would think they could pronounce “birthday” with a th instead of an f.

  28. DutchTulip

    NO POSTING SPOILERS FROM OTHER SHOWS IN COMMENTS. OR ANYWHERE.

    • GirlMe

      Ugh Ive been avoiding that thread until I watch the show. No spoiler alerts in other threads please. Isnt that a rule or something!

      • tamaratattles

        Not only is it a rule, GirlMe, it’s basic commenting etiquette. I deleted it, sorry you had to see it. It wasn’t completely accurate anyway.

  29. Ingrid

    I also watch in part to see the lifestyles of these people, and when seeing Karen with her husband, I was surprised to see her house was not that great considering all of the bragging she was doing. It was not that big and the kitchen needed a major renovation.

  30. Loads of pretentiousness. This is how D.C. pretense looks and it’s mighty ugly. I don’t live far from Potomac and they are an embarrassment. They behave just like people I can’t stand and would never become. I do like Gizelle because she’s more raw and probably only uses pretense on an as needed basis. She reminds be of a cross between Vanessa Williams and Carmen Electra. I think she’s just warming up. Karen is kind of funny but that black Bill Gates and other references to the black version of this who and that who. Who cares. They’re really the black version of themselves. So silly and so telling of their low self esteem. But that just shows you how deep the phoniness goes. But I’ve met plenty of them and I can’t stand them–D.C.’s finest. Their homes seem pretty old and outdated. The land is probably worth much more. Where’s the money! Not in those kitchens that’s for sure. Can’t wait for the vetting to begin. Hahaha.

  31. AmberKnows

    Whore-ibble to say but… Karen’s spirit animal must be the American Bald Eagle. The nose/beak and hairline are precise.

  32. tamaratattles

    Things are a lot different in Potomac. See, where I live, valet parking is a convenience for the driver. Why did they take the car at the gate and then say they were going to park it right outside the house in the driveway. Their “valet” sent women up the driveway walking. That is the opposite of valet parking. That’s hiking without so much as a bottle of water.

    Also, where I come from, the first rule of etiquette is you don’t criticize others lack of etiquette (at least not to their face, maybe in a private conversation with your bestie later) You certainly don’t present them with a list of your guidelines for rude behavior and call them rules of etiquette. You sit in the available seat when you arrive unless you are asked to move to a more prestigious position. This has been proper etiquette since BIBLICAL TIMES and has not changed. “But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests.” ~ Luke 14:10 You would think these religious women would know these things.

    Also, if you don’t know how to have a crab boil (ie you can’t boil water) hire a chef to cater your event since you are so wealthy. Or, you know, Google it. Do not leave guests to be the help while you take a bottle of wine to your private chambers and have extra hair glued to your forehead. Do not insult the people who you have abandoned to their own devices while you are guzzling wine in your private quarters.

    When preening your wig and your new really heavy bangs, don’t expose your wig cap.

    There is more, but these fake rich people seem incapable of civilized behavior.

    • Xanadude

      A person truly concerned with etiquette does not use that knowledge as a bludgeon to embarass those who may not be so informed. Guess who said that? Miss Manners herself, Judith Martin. I would love love love to see her respond to the antics of these horrid people. Covering up your own insecurities by pointing out minor annoyances unknowingly perpetrated by others. Shame.

      The more I thought about the crab boil situation the madder I got – you invite a friend to do a favor and then treat them as a servant? Fuck you. Boil your own fucking crabs. The moment she left to get her “hair done did” I would have cranked the oven up to high and left. Don’t want me asking questions or looking for necessary equipment? Dont ask me to do your a favor and then leave.

      • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

        AND, Gizelle and her friend were taking it all in good humour, until they went up the stairs looking for Charisse and she was such a nasty biznatch!

      • Oh God, X, I love that you know who Judith Martin is! I’m impressed. I’d see her from time to time around town hailing cabs or going in/out of places. You couldn’t miss her.

        I also met her a couple of times back in the day. She was quite a character.

      • Sliceo'pie

        I feel like good manners are about making those around you feel comfortable, included, appreciated and respected. It’s also not my job to school other people on their lack of manners. Karen acted like a four year old throwing a temper tantrum – “I wanted to sit in the middddle…” It would never occur to me to demand the middle seat because it was my birthday. Give me a fucking break.

      • tamaratattles

        Not to mention that the “middle seat” anywhere is THE WORST SEAT. No one wants to have to scoot scoot scoot around to get in and out of the booth. That is why people all try to force others to do it under the premise of a polite, “oh no after you” duel until someone begrudgingly scoots in. Between this and the valet parking blocks from the front door, I’m not sure how these women function. At all.

  33. This show makes me want to go to these neighborhoods and do some sleuthing.

    I find them entertaining so far. I’ll be here for it, since it’s local.

  34. Ches

    While watching Karen, all I could think of was Lady Chablis, from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.

  35. susan

    Their dresses look painted on.

  36. Shay

    Bill Gates is the illest. Bill Gates is the black Bill Gates! Is her husband even a billionaire? Does everyone’s office in the world run using his products? Take a seat (at the hair shop).

  37. Katherine 2.0

    Not a bad first episode. The ladies most aggrieved by etiquette breaches are the ones who weren’t born wealthy and are trying way too hard, missing the point entirely.
    I’d venture to say, however, that half of them don’t even live in Potomac, but Northern Virginia and Bethesda. Not poor areas, but certainly not Potomac.

  38. G.

    It’s disappointing that this is another segregated show given, especially, the kind of engineering that’s involved in a community that’s about 4% African-American. It’s not as if that’s an accurate picture of their social lives. Bravo, this does not speak well of your expectations.

  39. @Tamara,

    Please make sure BenC writes the reviews for this show.
    I honestly enjoyed his reviews of RHOA as well but we all know thats your baby….

    now to this review…
    LOL
    LOL
    LOL!
    Now I’m going to watch this show. i wasn’t going too at 1st but after reading this, i certainly will be watching!

    good job Ben!

  40. iloveearlgrey

    Ugh. Everytime Karen crossed and uncrossed her chicken legs, I was grossed out.

  41. Pitypat

    I live about an hour from Potomac and used to go there for business a lot in the nineties. I would always ride around to look at the houses. A big boon then with mega mansions so close together you could stand in the middle and practically touch them. When a recession hit late nineties or so?? I rode through there and more than half the houses were for sale. Probably same thing happened around 2007 or so. Their houses were probably from that era, 20 year old kitchens.

  42. Jan

    Charisse and Karen feel like because they’re black, they have to over exude class and in the end they look ridiculous. I can’t stand those two.

  43. Satchel Breed

    The end tables in Karen home are from IKEA?

  44. I was surprised to see those cheap end tables in Karen house

  45. Dee

    I finally watched this ish, oh my God! Charisse was awful to Giselle, so was Karen. These people give pretentious a bad name! People who are really rich don’t need to tell you. Also class isn’t something you are born with, one show and done
    Thanks for recap, it made me want to watch, watching made me want to stop

  46. NinjaKitty

    Is it just my observation or did anyone else notice that Katie Rost seemed breathy and full of giggles i.e. high again during the proposal at the farm???

Please Read the COMMENTING RULES before commenting.